I got married for the first time at age 23. Lasted four years. Got married AGAIN at age 40. Yep, I’m that gullible. Now I’m staring at another divorce. “There’s No Fool Like An Old Fool”.
If you ever get married again please send me an invite. When you see me, I'll be the one in the back of the room dressed as a court jester, pointing and laughing at you.😂
John makes excellent points on the « cult of the child » were the women completely neglects the man and everything revolves around children, and when the children are gone there is nothing left of the relationship. That if the marriage last that long of course. Many don’t make it past the insanity of the toddler and infant stage.
I have no kids, but it's really strange: Having kids is necessary for the human species to survive! It is 100% natural and an entirely normal part of human life. But, it is also an overwhelming burden. It's expensive and a colossal pain in the ass. Not to mention life's single biggest disappointment is having children unless they grow up to meet parental demands about having an impressive and/or intimidating job title, the number of grandkids they produce etc. You know, the usual parent bullshit.
Yes! I find it interesting how some Men tend to use social media to gain practical knowledge and, well, what shall we say about how social media is used by some Women.
My parents were married almost 57 years before dad passed away. Growing up, I witnessed their marriage and relationship. I saw love, respect, honesty, and commitment. Sure, they sometimes got on each other’s nerves, but their love for each other never wavered. So, that’s how I saw marriage when I became a grown man. I thought all or most women were like my mom, and my wife would be like my mom in my marriage. Boy was I wrong and naive. Modern women are nothing like my mom. In fact, I would say total opposite. It was a lesson learned the hard way. I’m not saying all modern women are not marriage worthy, but the majority aren’t. I will never let it happen again.
Per John's wise advice in this video, was she like her mother? Edit: I didn't take notice of my wife's mother until years later when she got divorced and moved out to the state my wife and I lived in. She lived in our house for six months until she got a place of her own. Boy, was that an eye opener; I started to see a lot of the same behavior in my wife. Behavior that only got worse as my wife got older. The same behaviors that her mother portrayed as she got older; it was like watching a remake of the same movie. We are separated and getting a divorce now. I was dumb, thought, that she wouldn't repeat the same behaviors that her mother had, thought that I could fix things or somehow keep it from happening to my wife and I and stuck it out way longer than either of my two father-in-laws could added together. Wow, I now know just how stupid was I. 😢
The most important thing you will notice if you live/work overseas in some "underdeveloped" regions in Africa, the Balkans or Asia is how the larger community regulates and controls individuals and families. When a couple gets married the larger community has a STAKE in this marriage lasting and the couple is expected to play a role. Landlords and bosses expect you to come over for dinner once a week, and you expect your neighbors to come over. If rumor says you had a fight with your wife, your neighbors quickly come over to stick thier noses to intervene in your business and try to solve the problem. Women don't have the freedom to "change" in those environments, as the other women and elders in the community will talk her down. Your problem is thier problem and vice-versa. Is it annoying? Yes. Its also WONDERFUL. In the USA You are alone. Here in the USA nobody cares about you, your own relatives don't help you! Your culture lowkey hopes your marriage fails- tv shows celebrate divorce and single life. We like to think that our Western society is so much more "advanced", but mental illness, drug addiction and loneliness is at an all time high here because you are on your own.
Yep, didn’t pay any attention to how her mother was. Didn’t even think a out the connection. But she slowly turned into her mother who I found out too late is a psycho.
Young men out there especially. I beg you to please, please listen to this man carefully. He’s not bitter or jaded…he’s experienced and knowledgeable…and so am I.
@ you know it’s really interesting because that’s true on so many levels. So much so that the irony to the joy and freedom we appreciate, (never been happier then I am now at 45) wouldn’t, or can’t be truly experienced without the hell we’ve gone through. Not sure what my point is here other than, life’s got a sick sense of humor I guess!
The romantic relationship like we were told and sold, when I've seen those couples who've been married for 15+ yrs, there's nothing that looks romantic happening.
I met a woman who said she had so much student loan debt she would never pay it off. She also said she doesn't want to work at all and brought up marriage. She is probably still out there fishing for a sucker.
My dad tried to warn me about getting married again at the age of 40. She had two boys from a previous marriage and so I thought I knew best. I met her at church and we became good friends for 3 years before we considered dating. We are still together after 28 years but had I known the pitfalls of trying to raise another man’s kids I wouldn’t do it again.
I hate being such a cynic because I'm actually the romantic type, but your right hand will do 99.9% of what most men get married for and you already have it, it doesn't even cost any money! As far as affectionate attachment goes, sure, see how much a woman "loves" you when the money runs out or you get too tired/depressed to work. Woman: "Get out of MY house you lazy useless slob! I need a REAL man!" Man: "But honey, I actually PAID for the house. You spent your income only on yourself and your friends. I'm the only one that paid the mortgage, bought all the cars and paid all the living expenses for 25 years. Besides, you quit working 3 years after we got married so it's all my own income anyway." Woman: "I said GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU LAZY WORTHLESS SLOB OR I'M CALLING THE COPS!!!"
@@ericmcdonald7313 been done three times. All failed. Wish I knew all this back in time. 69 now and paying the price of having nothing. But some great children thank God. Never learnt.
John, I’m 73 years young, and the song “…if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife” rings SO true. The pretty ones are entitled, narcissistic, selfish adolescents who are quick to give up in marriages if/when things get rough. The average-looking girls are, and always will be, there for you, no matter what the circumstance. This will ALWAYS ring true! ❤
I was divorced after a very short a painful marriage. The worst part was the possible family that I had lost. I met another woman 1.5 years later and and we dated for 2 years before moving in together and have 2 children together. She is an excellent partner and mother and we have not married, have separate finances and she has her own company that she stands to lose if she wants some sort of common law divorce. It’s still an enormous risk, but we both wanted a family and you can’t clone yourself yet as of 2024. Both children are healthy, but had they been born with autism or any other special need our lives could have been ruined. The risks are so, so, enormous. I must have been insane to take them. If our kids had had autism it would have been a lifelong prison sentence. I am happy, but looking back I probably could have built homes for the homeless, or dug wells in Africa, or feed the hungry to add meaning and fulfillment to my life and not taken such mind blowing risks.
I got nothing from my father about marriage. My parents were married about 65 years. My father taught me about self sufficiency, preparedness, and fixing what i own. The short time i knew my grandfather, he was a rural genius. Make and fix anything. But he was born 120 years ago. People really were built different back then.
This vídeo made me realize that in fact I have never wanted to get married. And I think that this is not what most people are looking for also. Most people actually look for a romantic relationship, not for a real marriage.
@@john-griffin Sure is most of the time. But considering what romantic relationships exist for in the first place, they tend to lose their luster. The entire landscape of emotions and reactions has been shaped by evolution to facilitate the creation of the next generation. Even romantic relationships without any initial or explicit purpose to create a family are minefields, too, only less dangerous.
@@markkujantunen8298yep, once you live together and have kids, she really isnt that into you anymore. There really is no solution except for doing your own thing. Romantic love is extremely conditional and in most cases so volatile
Uncle Bill took me aside when I was 18 and told me......Never Get Married!! I listened all those years ago and life has been a great adventure!! Heading to Mexico this week......why not! Timmy C Arizona 59.
Years ago in my mid 30s, at an aunts funeral, all of the married cousins took me into a private room and gave me an intense lecture presentation (with laptop Powerpoint graphs) on why I should NEVER get married. It was intense, they gave personal stories, data and statistics!! "We want to save your LIFE, kid!!" Message was received, cuz I never married.
I’ve been married once and I’m never getting married ever again, 30 years was more than enough to lose your soul. To all young men out there who watch or listen to this video I couldn’t agree more with what John has to say. You need to take care of what John presents here and share with all your friends do not get married.
❤❤❤Again, I am a female that married a man for all the wrong reasons! I have been divorced for 19 years and single for twenty! I have worked on personal development for the entire time and continue to this day! Please everyone that watches John's videos should take heed! John is spot on! Thank you John for all your hard work,encouragement and compassion!🎉
Mr. John Griffin, you are spot on! I was 26 and she was perfect as I kept everything you are saying to look out for. She still went far left woke just as soon as she had our son. I think they are all are a hell no, because you will never know!
the way things are progressing....there will only be simps used for breeding stock and ATM's....women will have to settle for 5'9" flabby couch potatoes....
The only thing that I could add to your statement is: Please pay attention, learn from our mistakes so you don't make them as well, and stay single; it's simply not worth it to get married. Don't be suckered into a contract with the state by getting married or staying with someone long enough for it to be considered common law by the state.
You are sooo right about her parents. That was my pitfall. I spent five years with my ex before the marriage. However, we met and we lived together, far away from her family. I only met them in the last year for a short visit, so they could put on a good show. So when my ex invited her mom to live with us without my permission, I knew I was in trouble.
I've always thought the marriage vows are one of the biggest lies and scams of our society: all that part "in health and in sickness, in wealth and poverty..." , I always tried to contain my laughter when I heard it in church. A signed contract a women can freely unfullfill and break anytime for no reason, with zero consequences, and in most cases she is even rewarded 😁
Yes, you are absolutely correct. I was there for my wife's ill health, went with and waited in the waiting room for each time she had a surgery and most of all, I was there, in person as soon as the doctors would let me see her. I was there to hold her hand, to fluff her pillow, to hold her cup of water, etcetera. She, on the other hand, was typically not there for me. Usually, she would drop me off and be late to pick me up when the hospital would release me. In 40 years, only twice was she there in the room with me before they wheeled me back on the gurney to the operation room. Not once was she there during and after the surgery when they would take me from the ICU recovery to the room where I would stay; not once! She moved out not long after my last failed lower back surgery. That surgery failed not because of anything the doctor did, but because she threw a rage fit just a few days after I got home and forced me to move out to the camper that we had next to the house. She helped me by throwing my clothes and stuff out the front door onto the cement landing and ground below the front door steps of the house. I had to bend, lift, and twist to pick up my stuff and also carry other things. Right after a major back surgery. At that point, I wasn't even cleared by the surgeon to lift a half gallon of milk. Our family health provider, the surgeon's PAC and the surgeon had a fit when they found out what happened and said that I had bo business trying to climb in the bed of a fifth wheel trailer camper and said that she should move out to the trailer if that was how she wanted it. They even threatened to get the police involved if need be. So, then I had to move most of everything back into the house and this time, my son helped with some of the heavy items. My wife did not lift a finger except for the middle one. After that, I had to take care of myself as my son could not stay to help. Now, I am looking at another surgery once we can get the insurance to authorize and pay. The surgeon has told me that due to the damage and bone degradation, that I will need to have a cage installed. He also said that this will require me to stay at a physical rehabilitation facility upon leaving the hospital. He also stated that I would be there for at least 2 weeks minimum of someone would be at home to help me, 4 weeks if I would be home by myself and at least 6 weeks or even more if I would be going home for my wife to take care of me. That's not going to happen as we are bow getting divorced. It took a lot to get it through my thick skull and to my dumb old brain, but I finally see. Wise words John, "Stay healthy and if you can, stay single."
@@rogerwhoareyou It's far better to stay single, save some money, and pay for a nurse at home in case you need medical assistance, than keeping an ungrateful wife around. It's like having to pay the whole life for an insurance that will never compensate you. Good luck man!
Thinking back now, my father did share some good advice about marriage. Primarily when he saw my older brother struggling with a bossy wife during the first few years of his marriage. I recall him saying that if my brother didn't stand up to her and set some boundaries, things would only get worse. I was still young and idealistic and didn't fully grasp what he was saying. My brother didn't listen either and ended up in an unhappy marriage and only stayed for their children. Although I was proud of him when she recently threatened divorce and he told her "sounds good to me, our kids are grown and on their own, so there's the door if you want to leave".
My extended family was littered with divorces and miserable relationships. My father repeated to me an old 🇬🇧 adage : 'marry in haste, repent at leisure'. Being an optimist I thought it was just them, that I could do differently. Ho hum..........
I work at the market, I have thousands of men as customers who shop at my place, I always ask them if they are married, you will be shocked about their answers - they all divorced more than once. I even see some of them with wives and years later one of them tells me he spent $30K for divorce.
You have to be a full time Disney director, producer and financier . Your job will be part time, if you want that marriage to be successful. Remember, your a Disney Prince that better make that Disney Princess happy!
My first and second wives were both born into chaotic and drama filled families! I soon found out that love doesn't conquer the upbringing mess. I kept thinking I was the one failing, but now I understand so much better the mistakes I made in not properly vetting the ex's.
"Who you marry--if you marry, is the most important decision of your life." That is what I told a 27 year old colleague at work who was contemplating marriage. I didn't want to tell him what to do one way or the other. I just wanted to make sure he knew the gravity of the situation. Like most men, no one told me anything before getting married. No one. It's incredible!
I really wish I had seen this video before I got married. I'm divorced now for the past 6 years, but all of your points are good ones. Many of them caused the demise of my marriage, and now I have to live with child support and being bound to a particular geological location per our settlement. It's like being in an open-air prison. Fortunately, I do love my two wonderful children and my focus is all on them now. Thank you for putting this video out. Hopefully the young men out there will heed your warnings.
I married to the wrong woman when I was 21. Had three kids, then got divorced at 28. I realized that I had gotten myself out on a limb and she had cut off the limb. A painful experience followed by years of financial struggle. If you choose to get married, be careful. you must marry the right person. you must know that she is the right person for you. You must know, or strongly believe, that you belong together. Be honest with yourself. Do not delude yourself. If it is right you will know it. I'm married to my second wife and we have been together for 24 years. Being with the right woman makes all the difference in the world. There is no comparison. Get it right and save yourself a ton of grief and struggle.
My parents never taught me anything about marriage, but their divorce taught me alot. A part of me is glad i learnt this very early on so i wouldn't make the same mistakes they did.
one night i was scrolling through my phone, feeling like i’d never figure out why some people just seem so magnetic. then i came across this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and something about it caught my attention. reading it was like turning on a light in a dark room. it’s not about pretending to be someone you’re not; it’s about unlocking the energy you already have. trust me, this book is worth every page
I am with my husband for 13 years, we have 2 boys but I am not legally married. I also don't live in my own country, and here in Chile it does not matter how long you live with a person, you only have rights it you sign the marriage certificate. In case we separate, my husband would also benefit because my kids are Chilean, so is my husband and I am the only foreigner in the family. Still, I don't think I need to sign any paper.... A relationship is something that is decided between 2 people and it helps if you make sure that no third parties get involved.
I was naive and didn’t know how to stand up for my values because I didn’t have them. Now I do. Now I know what I want in a woman instead of what I don’t want. Now whoever she is, she’s one of those rare gem unicorns.
The juxtaposition of "family" and "court" should cause us to recoil in horror. Eleven years ago, I was involved in exposing the dysfunction of the family court system in one particular county in Pennsylvania via an alt-media venture. We called our series "Custody for Cash." Almost immediately upon shining just a bit of light on the abuses, we were inundated with horror stories from all over the country.
You aren't alone John. I had no clue what I was getting into and it cost me dearly. I have told both my sons to never get married and so far they aren't and they are in their late 30's and early 40.
Any young man who truly understands what marriage entails, he would certainly run away from it. It's all about education, hence system's relentless efforts with all the utilities at its disposal to deceive young men and trap them in. This is why your videos are so important John. Thank you sir.
I went for the youngest in her family and she didn’t know nothing about kids. Biggest regret.😢 She forced me for kids so I gave in but it was terrible when the kids came.
This video needs to be in middle school mandatory for all 7th grade boys. Maybe 6th grade, the grade before the one that dances are introduced to our young boys.
I tell my sons to proceed with caution. I teach them about personality disorders, mental illness and dark triad traits. I tell them about infidelity and no-fault divorce and support payments and prenups and cohabitation agreements. I tell them about consent and me-too. There's more to it that just the hot-crazy matrix (but that's a good start ;).
My grandmother suggested I create a pros and cons list when I told her I was getting married. While this was valuable advice, I believe that if she had actively guided me through the process, I might have avoided some of the negative outcomes. This experience has been a significant learning opportunity, highlighting numerous drawbacks to my current situation. The sole genuine benefit I can identify is the children we have together, which I now understand as the only justifiable reason for marriage. But even then it comes with a very big price tag.
22 минуты назад+1
Don't blame your granny 'cause your grown azz couldn't/wouldn't honestly assess the person or the reason to get married.
i remember this one time i felt like no matter what i did, people just didn’t notice me. i tried everything-confidence boosters, social tips, you name it-but nothing seemed to work. then i found this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it completely shifted how i saw myself. it’s not just about being noticed; it’s about understanding the energy you project. honestly, this book made all the difference for me. if you’ve ever felt invisible, you need to read it.
My Dad was basically non-verbal. A few times across the years, somehow his marriage to my overbearing, control freak Mother came up and he said the same thing, " I was a sucker ..." Then, his words trailed off ... Thanks for the Ungodly sacrifices you made for us Kids, Dad, RIP.
Everytime a new video comes out, I always look forward to the opportunity to learn more. Thank you, John! I have 3 boys that i would like to guide in the right direction. Your content gives me the confidence to know i will be prepared to help them!
John, your wisdom is incredible. While I've obviously not experienced things to the degree you have (not been through a marriage a divorce) and have much less life experience at 31, I really relate to so much of what you talk about. Your perspective and the way your articulate it is amazing. Been absolutely loving the past year I've had since bailing from a draining LTR and just enjoying my physical and financial freedoms. So much inner peace - and calm.
Thanks. Freedom is very valuable. We can't just give it away for a little intimacy and companionship. You need to know you are getting a great partner that enhances your life.
2. She doesn't love you she only loves and is loyal to her feels. Take her present feelings of love, turn it into hate but make it exponentially more potent to the 10th power.
My parents told me nothing about women apart from 'don't get them pregnant'. When I was 20 I knew more about conjugating French verbs than I did about women.
Recently separated after a 30 year marriage,my best lifelong friend casually says ' I could never understand why you got married on the first place as you were so independent and self sufficient and you were always very busy with your hobbies. Why spoil it ?' I said ' well thanks for that,I wish you would have said that before the wedding.'
And if you weren't independent like you are, she would deem you "needy" and with a "lack of purpose in life". Don't try to make sense of her BS. She will flip the script on you and find fault in whatever you do. These are the last blame-shifting moves to guilt trip you and relieve herself from taking any responsibility for the end of the marriage. Good riddance.
Kevin Costner, Brad Pitt, Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Richard Burton, Tom Brady, Johnny Carson, Frank Sinatra, etc, etc. Leonardo DiCaprio seems to be one of the few publicly high-profile guys who paid attention to the Hot-Crazy Matrix. You are the G.O.A.T., John.
Old joke-- Newly wed daughter asks her dad what's the s-x life married to mom after all these years? Dad says "We only have oral s-x these days." Daughter- ???? Dad says, "When we pass each other in the hallway, I say 'Screw You" and she says 'Up yours!'"
John, thank you for an in-depth conversation about the meaning of marriage. I've made my mistake with everything you've mentioned and wish I had been educated before saying, "I do." Twenty-five years of a failed marriage have taught me well. I've been divorced and single for seven years and counting.
I am 44 right now and have never been married. I have started and sold several businesses since I was twenty-five. I read contracts all the time. If I read a marriage contracts from an unbiased perspective I would think you were crazy as a man to sign it.
I was working at a welding shop, I was in my late teens early twenties. I was told by a man 35 to 40 years my senior. " what ever you do, do not get married, only advice I remember. Parents told me nothing
I was in a video store 35 years ago.A woman whom I saw on occasion, out of the blue, said "Don't get married. It really changes you." I didn't process it then, but I can still see her forlorn face.
i remember feeling like i was always the one fading into the background while others stood out effortlessly. it was frustrating and made me doubt myself a lot. then i came across this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it showed me things i’d never even considered. it’s not just a self-help book; it’s like a guide to understanding your own energy and using it to connect with people. if you’ve ever felt like you’re not seen, this book might change everything.
Everything you said in this video should be told to every man's son(s). I wish I had known this information before I entered the shit show. I remember my dad saying a few things, but I was already chained. My mother treated him like a dog, but he would not leave her, said "They were a couple." I always thought to myself "No, dad, you think you're a couple, she doesn't." She spent every dime he had saved, after he retired. When he passed away all they had was Social Security. Not me! Every major problem I ever had in my life, there was a woman involved in one fashion or another! I am single and I am the only one that has the key to the bank. Men are just fill-ins in a woman's life until the next sucker is rounded up.
@@Drumbeat52 I’m sorry to hear of what your dad put up with before passing on. Is your mom looking to you to supplement her past frivolous spending or has she learned to live within her means? Also, how has your mom handled not having your dad around to abuse any longer?
My sister had moved them and put them in a senior park model home because they were broke. My dad had passed in 2006, my mother passed away in 2016. She was fine living alone after he passed, women have a way of adjusting faster than men. She always had some problem or a problem with someone, even groups! lol My mother was a controller and even got what she wanted from my sister. She never changed, you just had to accept her as she was. You do know that women want to be in control of the relationship and sooner or later the man either leaves, is forced out or just dies a slow miserable death over the years. There may be some out there not like that, I haven't found them.
1. The sex stops 2. The caring and affection stops 3. The Coolidge effect always kicks in 4. Nagging non stop 5. Silent treatment 6. No freedom. 7. Stress 8. Cheating 9. Lying and over spending 10. No fault divorce 😂
Thank you brother! I seen everything you talked about. My ex - wife has some much childhood trauma and she refused to get help. To her I was the problem for our failed marriage. So she left me. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
I just turned 43 last month and still on the fence about marriage. I had a coworker who said to me years ago, when I was 34, "wait until you're about 43 to get married." I keep thinking if I want to be a father I'll have to get married. I don't want to have kids outside of wedlock. But man you were 43 and it ended in 2 years. My life is so good right now but I still contemplate if I should do it.
@@Kenny-Ross Kids are real, marriage is a made up concept. For you to live your life assuming you need to take part in a pretend contract between two able bodied humans is insane. Move to a no common law state and have some kids. Think outside of the chains that bind you.
@ Well I’m a Christian but I do question things about marriage that don’t get talked about in the “ Christian world.” I left the states two years ago and now living in the East. Marriage is risky no matter where you go or who you choose to marry. But a buddy of mine was saying earlier today he feels the same way that marriage is a made up concept to control men. Also, I feel marriage is for women. Every time I ask someone what are the benefits a man gets from marriage it’s crickets. I’ve yet to get an answer to that question. I just prefer to marry without the government and just marry ourselves before God. Vows, rings, ceremonies are not found in the Bible. But we’re told we need to have those things plus the government involved for a marriage to be considered official.
If you really want kids, find someone who is willing to sign a legal contract to carry a child and sign over all rights to that child after birth to you with no future compensation. No cohabitation and use medical IUI (Intrauterine Insemination).
@@Kenny-Ross Your last sentence shows you need a bit more time and self reflection to truly see within the matrix. "We're told we need to have those things plus the govt involved for a marriage to be considered official". Who's telling you? And why are you listening? The bible says nothing about giving over your rights to the govt and signing a lopsided agreement.
Those dogs are just so happy to be with you out there. Yep, God threw us out in the arena to be slaughtered by the big cats. Our dads didn't know any better either. My dad was miserable. Like me, married a beauty 15 years younger. A living hell. Now, I am a handsome older SINGLE man.
Most Married Men In Yester-Year Were A Generation Of Men Who Lived Lives Of Silent Desperation. They Attempted To Cope The Best They Could. But Taught Us Younger Guys NOTHING About Financial Simphood AKA Marriage.
I wish all my youngsters would have the balls to play this video. Very powerful. Most of us wish we were warned before we carried the weights. Sometimes we need to live the experience I guess
One other item John. If she talks really positvely about one ex in particular among others, in my situation, she had pair bonded. I did not know until later that he was the one that got away and she would always pine for him. I also can say part and parcel with this is, typically, with most women, no matter if you are Chad or Tyrone, you are never her first choice. No matter how good you are. Thanks again for the great content!
Thank you for pointing out that SEX SHOULD NEVER BE THE MAIN FACTOR TO GET MARRIED. 2 guys know did this, got married because the sex was amazing, one was in my former church, they got divorce within a year. The another was guy I've known since HS, he married her partly because the sex was amazing, now that they're married, he's miserable. 8:07 That advice is spot on. I had an ex who was banging (face and body), we were very sexually compatible, but as much as I tried to push marriage in my head, my eyes and spirit were showing me otherwise. So glad I didn't go through with it. I believe she's married now, all I can say is good luck to that guy.
Remember, Quirkyalone Day is Feb 14 every year in opposition to the popular valentine's day. Sasha Cagen author created this day in 2003. For partnered people Quirkytogethers', the day is a reminder that even in relationships you are an individual who has value on your own. I have read Sasha's book 📚 years ago 😂..... Stay healthy guys and choose women wisely
In many cultures marriage is for the purpose of starting a family. Some cultures even go so far as to say it is your responsibility to society to have children when you choose marriage. It's about the survival and prosperity of the species, not about lust.
Your content and its presentation with all your experiential trials and tribulations make it so informative and eye opening.. just keep up the good work and enlighten young men like me more !
If you make your living in a profession or trade that has lots of uncertainty or ups and downs, be cautious, Women are far more likely to abandon you during those down times, They expect you to provide, and that providing is only supposed to increase over time. There is no loyalty during financial setbacks. Any support evaporates. They may not cheat or leave, but your sex life will disappear as their attraction to you dies.
Agree wìth with everything you said so true. Your channel is growing and for good reason you tell it how it is and your topic are so relevant. Thankyou
I got married for the first time at age 23. Lasted four years. Got married AGAIN at age 40. Yep, I’m that gullible. Now I’m staring at another divorce. “There’s No Fool Like An Old Fool”.
Most of us learn things the hard way. But these are lessons. You will never forget.
If you ever get married again please send me an invite.
When you see me, I'll be the one in the back of the room dressed as a court jester, pointing and laughing at you.😂
The first woman married you because she believed in fairytales. The second woman needed a retirement plan.
You need to find another hobby! 🤣
I'm in almost the same boat friend.. and I know what you are thinking because I am too: there won't be a 3rd time
Big myth: Having kids will save the marriage.
The truth is children put incredible stress on a marriage.
That is very true and misunderstood
John makes excellent points on the « cult of the child » were the women completely neglects the man and everything revolves around children, and when the children are gone there is nothing left of the relationship. That if the marriage last that long of course. Many don’t make it past the insanity of the toddler and infant stage.
You are correct. Especially step-kids. They cause more trouble than you can imagine.
If it wasn’t awesome before kids , it never will be. Not a fix
I have no kids, but it's really strange: Having kids is necessary for the human species to survive! It is 100% natural and an entirely normal part of human life.
But, it is also an overwhelming burden. It's expensive and a colossal pain in the ass. Not to mention life's single biggest disappointment is having children unless they grow up to meet parental demands about having an impressive and/or intimidating job title, the number of grandkids they produce etc. You know, the usual parent bullshit.
Young guys today are fortunate to have this information. And it’s free.
Amen exactly
I wish I had it back in the day. I was just a programmed fool back then.
Late though!
Yes! I find it interesting how some Men tend to use social media to gain practical knowledge and, well, what shall we say about how social media is used by some Women.
My parents were married almost 57 years before dad passed away. Growing up, I witnessed their marriage and relationship. I saw love, respect, honesty, and commitment. Sure, they sometimes got on each other’s nerves, but their love for each other never wavered. So, that’s how I saw marriage when I became a grown man. I thought all or most women were like my mom, and my wife would be like my mom in my marriage. Boy was I wrong and naive. Modern women are nothing like my mom. In fact, I would say total opposite. It was a lesson learned the hard way. I’m not saying all modern women are not marriage worthy, but the majority aren’t. I will never let it happen again.
I feel the same 😊
Per John's wise advice in this video, was she like her mother?
Edit: I didn't take notice of my wife's mother until years later when she got divorced and moved out to the state my wife and I lived in. She lived in our house for six months until she got a place of her own. Boy, was that an eye opener; I started to see a lot of the same behavior in my wife. Behavior that only got worse as my wife got older. The same behaviors that her mother portrayed as she got older; it was like watching a remake of the same movie.
We are separated and getting a divorce now. I was dumb, thought, that she wouldn't repeat the same behaviors that her mother had, thought that I could fix things or somehow keep it from happening to my wife and I and stuck it out way longer than either of my two father-in-laws could added together. Wow, I now know just how stupid was I. 😢
The most important thing you will notice if you live/work overseas in some "underdeveloped" regions in Africa, the Balkans or Asia is how the larger community regulates and controls individuals and families. When a couple gets married the larger community has a STAKE in this marriage lasting and the couple is expected to play a role. Landlords and bosses expect you to come over for dinner once a week, and you expect your neighbors to come over. If rumor says you had a fight with your wife, your neighbors quickly come over to stick thier noses to intervene in your business and try to solve the problem. Women don't have the freedom to "change" in those environments, as the other women and elders in the community will talk her down. Your problem is thier problem and vice-versa. Is it annoying? Yes. Its also WONDERFUL. In the USA You are alone. Here in the USA nobody cares about you, your own relatives don't help you! Your culture lowkey hopes your marriage fails- tv shows celebrate divorce and single life. We like to think that our Western society is so much more "advanced", but mental illness, drug addiction and loneliness is at an all time high here because you are on your own.
Yep, didn’t pay any attention to how her mother was. Didn’t even think a out the connection. But she slowly turned into her mother who I found out too late is a psycho.
@rogerwhoareyou didn't watching the Flintstones teach you about mother in laws?
Young men out there especially. I beg you to please, please listen to this man carefully. He’s not bitter or jaded…he’s experienced and knowledgeable…and so am I.
Agreed!
I’m called jaded bc I talk the same way John does.
@@FERALDOG4 Same here.
@ we’re so much better off than most Men just knowing what we know!
@ you know it’s really interesting because that’s true on so many levels. So much so that the irony to the joy and freedom we appreciate, (never been happier then I am now at 45) wouldn’t, or can’t be truly experienced without the hell we’ve gone through. Not sure what my point is here other than, life’s got a sick sense of humor I guess!
Two things that stood-out: Pretty girls are like celebrities, Marriage is not a romantic relationship.
The romantic relationship like we were told and sold, when I've seen those couples who've been married for 15+ yrs, there's nothing that looks romantic happening.
I met a woman who said she had so much student loan debt she would never pay it off. She also said she doesn't want to work at all and brought up marriage. She is probably still out there fishing for a sucker.
As terrifying a predator as a T-rex or great white shark.
@@philip-pp9qt100%
At least she gave you a heads up! Most women have an agenda that only she knows about, when you are finally privy to it, you're screwed.
And she’ll find one too, women can be evil but some men can be stupid , I know cause I was one of those men!
@@msnj1791 As long as it was only once it is just a mistake.
30 and Single now. I just prefer having inner peace and solitude.
Do you get attention from women? If so, do you mess around or just avoid them?
John you've taught me more than my dad. Too bad you were not there 40 years ago!
My dad tried to warn me about getting married again at the age of 40. She had two boys from a previous marriage and so I thought I knew best. I met her at church and we became good friends for 3 years before we considered dating. We are still together after 28 years but had I known the pitfalls of trying to raise another man’s kids I wouldn’t do it again.
I tell my 19 year old son. - never get married and never cohabitate.
Best advice for 2025 !
I hate being such a cynic because I'm actually the romantic type, but your right hand will do 99.9% of what most men get married for and you already have it, it doesn't even cost any money!
As far as affectionate attachment goes, sure, see how much a woman "loves" you when the money runs out or you get too tired/depressed to work.
Woman: "Get out of MY house you lazy useless slob! I need a REAL man!"
Man: "But honey, I actually PAID for the house. You spent your income only on yourself and your friends. I'm the only one that paid the mortgage, bought all the cars and paid all the living expenses for 25 years. Besides, you quit working 3 years after we got married so it's all my own income anyway."
Woman: "I said GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU LAZY WORTHLESS SLOB OR I'M CALLING THE COPS!!!"
Lot's of VERY WISE words on this video thanks John!
My dad always told me to get married and I never wanted to, still have a bachelor pad at 42 and women can come and go when I feel like it 😊
@@devilsoffspring5519😂😂😂
@@wread1982 You win brother!
"Is she capable of being a decent mother?" is one of the most important pieces of guidance ever said. Really studying the parents is so vital as well
Been married twice. 61 now and absolutely agree about nobody giving me advice. Paid the price
@@ericmcdonald7313 been done three times. All failed. Wish I knew all this back in time. 69 now and paying the price of having nothing. But some great children thank God. Never learnt.
Marriage is like an interest only mortgage, you make the payments along the way and own nothing in the end except a huge balloon payment.
Well said!!
yeah
"Remember, she got that way through a lot of practice". Very true words John!
Your channel is growing to be one of my favorite ones on RUclips, great work again John!
Thanks! Im glad the content is resonating with so many people. I really appreciate your support!
John, I’m 73 years young, and the song “…if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife” rings SO true. The pretty ones are entitled, narcissistic, selfish adolescents who are quick to give up in marriages if/when things get rough.
The average-looking girls are, and always will be, there for you, no matter what the circumstance.
This will ALWAYS ring true! ❤
Even the average looking women are walking away nowadays. Social media has made the 3/4 think she’s a 10.
My first wife was a 10 it didn’t last long. The second one I said I’m gonna go for a four. She was just as bad or worse. The four cleaned me out.
@@Ian-yf3fo !! Social Media is Undefeated !! Lol😂
Tik Tok and Instagram have destroyed the Average-looking ones today.
The actual lyric to that song is..."If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife."
I was divorced after a very short a painful marriage. The worst part was the possible family that I had lost. I met another woman 1.5 years later and and we dated for 2 years before moving in together and have 2 children together. She is an excellent partner and mother and we have not married, have separate finances and she has her own company that she stands to lose if she wants some sort of common law divorce. It’s still an enormous risk, but we both wanted a family and you can’t clone yourself yet as of 2024. Both children are healthy, but had they been born with autism or any other special need our lives could have been ruined. The risks are so, so, enormous. I must have been insane to take them. If our kids had had autism it would have been a lifelong prison sentence. I am happy, but looking back I probably could have built homes for the homeless, or dug wells in Africa, or feed the hungry to add meaning and fulfillment to my life and not taken such mind blowing risks.
Marriage and having children in particular come with enormous risks. If something really bad happens to a child of yours, it can destroy you.
I got nothing from my father about marriage. My parents were married about 65 years. My father taught me about self sufficiency, preparedness, and fixing what i own. The short time i knew my grandfather, he was a rural genius. Make and fix anything. But he was born 120 years ago. People really were built different back then.
Young men listen to this guy's points if you want peace in your life. All of his information is spot on.
This vídeo made me realize that in fact I have never wanted to get married. And I think that this is not what most people are looking for also. Most people actually look for a romantic relationship, not for a real marriage.
My step Mom said id never get married 😅 she was right
That is the truth
@@john-griffin Sure is most of the time. But considering what romantic relationships exist for in the first place, they tend to lose their luster. The entire landscape of emotions and reactions has been shaped by evolution to facilitate the creation of the next generation. Even romantic relationships without any initial or explicit purpose to create a family are minefields, too, only less dangerous.
@@markkujantunen8298yep, once you live together and have kids, she really isnt that into you anymore. There really is no solution except for doing your own thing. Romantic love is extremely conditional and in most cases so volatile
Uncle Bill took me aside when I was 18 and told me......Never Get Married!! I listened all those years ago and life has been a great adventure!! Heading to Mexico this week......why not! Timmy C Arizona 59.
Years ago in my mid 30s, at an aunts funeral, all of the married cousins took me into a private room and gave me an intense lecture presentation (with laptop Powerpoint graphs) on why I should NEVER get married. It was intense, they gave personal stories, data and statistics!! "We want to save your LIFE, kid!!" Message was received, cuz I never married.
I’ve been married once and I’m never getting married ever again, 30 years was more than enough to lose your soul. To all young men out there who watch or listen to this video I couldn’t agree more with what John has to say. You need to take care of what John presents here and share with all your friends do not get married.
❤❤❤Again, I am a female that married a man for all the wrong reasons! I have been divorced for 19 years and single for twenty! I have worked on personal development for the entire time and continue to this day! Please everyone that watches John's videos should take heed! John is spot on! Thank you John for all your hard work,encouragement and compassion!🎉
My dad was smart, a hard worker and successful in business, yet his only advice he gave me was to stay out of trouble
Trouble....is she the girl next door? remember the song ..."I'm forever blowing bubbles...Bubbles is the girl next door....
@@ThomasJTuhrdwatter
😂😂😂😂😅
Mr. John Griffin, you are spot on!
I was 26 and she was perfect as I kept everything you are saying to look out for. She still went far left woke just as soon as she had our son.
I think they are all are a hell no, because you will never know!
Yeah! You can get any woman you want, but they are all at a certain threshold of crazy.
This is for the young men that come after us. We made our mistakes and paid dearly for them.
the way things are progressing....there will only be simps used for breeding stock and ATM's....women will have to settle for 5'9" flabby couch potatoes....
The only thing that I could add to your statement is:
Please pay attention, learn from our mistakes so you don't make them as well, and stay single; it's simply not worth it to get married. Don't be suckered into a contract with the state by getting married or staying with someone long enough for it to be considered common law by the state.
You are sooo right about her parents. That was my pitfall. I spent five years with my ex before the marriage. However, we met and we lived together, far away from her family. I only met them in the last year for a short visit, so they could put on a good show.
So when my ex invited her mom to live with us without my permission, I knew I was in trouble.
That’s a hard lesson.
I've always thought the marriage vows are one of the biggest lies and scams of our society: all that part "in health and in sickness, in wealth and poverty..." , I always tried to contain my laughter when I heard it in church. A signed contract a women can freely unfullfill and break anytime for no reason, with zero consequences, and in most cases she is even rewarded 😁
Exactly. It's insane that people still want to get married
When "fine print disclaimers and caveat warnings" are truly needed. No, they put it
on the frying pan you bought, etc.
Yes, you are absolutely correct. I was there for my wife's ill health, went with and waited in the waiting room for each time she had a surgery and most of all, I was there, in person as soon as the doctors would let me see her. I was there to hold her hand, to fluff her pillow, to hold her cup of water, etcetera. She, on the other hand, was typically not there for me. Usually, she would drop me off and be late to pick me up when the hospital would release me. In 40 years, only twice was she there in the room with me before they wheeled me back on the gurney to the operation room. Not once was she there during and after the surgery when they would take me from the ICU recovery to the room where I would stay; not once!
She moved out not long after my last failed lower back surgery. That surgery failed not because of anything the doctor did, but because she threw a rage fit just a few days after I got home and forced me to move out to the camper that we had next to the house. She helped me by throwing my clothes and stuff out the front door onto the cement landing and ground below the front door steps of the house. I had to bend, lift, and twist to pick up my stuff and also carry other things. Right after a major back surgery. At that point, I wasn't even cleared by the surgeon to lift a half gallon of milk.
Our family health provider, the surgeon's PAC and the surgeon had a fit when they found out what happened and said that I had bo business trying to climb in the bed of a fifth wheel trailer camper and said that she should move out to the trailer if that was how she wanted it. They even threatened to get the police involved if need be. So, then I had to move most of everything back into the house and this time, my son helped with some of the heavy items. My wife did not lift a finger except for the middle one. After that, I had to take care of myself as my son could not stay to help.
Now, I am looking at another surgery once we can get the insurance to authorize and pay. The surgeon has told me that due to the damage and bone degradation, that I will need to have a cage installed. He also said that this will require me to stay at a physical rehabilitation facility upon leaving the hospital. He also stated that I would be there for at least 2 weeks minimum of someone would be at home to help me, 4 weeks if I would be home by myself and at least 6 weeks or even more if I would be going home for my wife to take care of me. That's not going to happen as we are bow getting divorced.
It took a lot to get it through my thick skull and to my dumb old brain, but I finally see. Wise words John, "Stay healthy and if you can, stay single."
@@rogerwhoareyou It's far better to stay single, save some money, and pay for a nurse at home in case you need medical assistance, than keeping an ungrateful wife around. It's like having to pay the whole life for an insurance that will never compensate you. Good luck man!
@@rogerwhoareyou Stay strong brother,you are not alone,keep on rocking.
Thinking back now, my father did share some good advice about marriage. Primarily when he saw my older brother struggling with a bossy wife during the first few years of his marriage. I recall him saying that if my brother didn't stand up to her and set some boundaries, things would only get worse. I was still young and idealistic and didn't fully grasp what he was saying. My brother didn't listen either and ended up in an unhappy marriage and only stayed for their children. Although I was proud of him when she recently threatened divorce and he told her "sounds good to me, our kids are grown and on their own, so there's the door if you want to leave".
It sounds like your father was a wise man.
My extended family was littered with divorces and miserable relationships. My father repeated to me an old 🇬🇧 adage : 'marry in haste, repent at leisure'. Being an optimist I thought it was just them, that I could do differently. Ho hum..........
As I recall, that adage came from Abe Lincoln, who knew it first hand.
@@lordinquis8r679 William Congreve, 🇬🇧 playwright late 1600s
@ , thanks for looking that up.
I work at the market, I have thousands of men as customers who shop at my place, I always ask them if they are married, you will be shocked about their answers - they all divorced more than once. I even see some of them with wives and years later one of them tells me he spent $30K for divorce.
You have to be a full time Disney director, producer and financier . Your job will be part time, if you want that marriage to be successful. Remember, your a Disney Prince that better make that Disney Princess happy!
My first and second wives were both born into chaotic and drama filled families! I soon found out that love doesn't conquer the upbringing mess. I kept thinking I was the one failing, but now I understand so much better the mistakes I made in not properly vetting the ex's.
"Who you marry--if you marry, is the most important decision of your life." That is what I told a 27 year old colleague at work who was contemplating marriage. I didn't want to tell him what to do one way or the other. I just wanted to make sure he knew the gravity of the situation. Like most men, no one told me anything before getting married. No one. It's incredible!
My dad is a puppet for my mother. Pathetic and sad.
beta lol
I really wish I had seen this video before I got married. I'm divorced now for the past 6 years, but all of your points are good ones. Many of them caused the demise of my marriage, and now I have to live with child support and being bound to a particular geological location per our settlement. It's like being in an open-air prison. Fortunately, I do love my two wonderful children and my focus is all on them now. Thank you for putting this video out. Hopefully the young men out there will heed your warnings.
It’s good to hear that you’re focusing on your kids. They will make it all worth it.
I married to the wrong woman when I was 21. Had three kids, then got divorced at 28. I realized that I had gotten myself out on a limb and she had cut off the limb. A painful experience followed by years of financial struggle. If you choose to get married, be careful. you must marry the right person. you must know that she is the right person for you. You must know, or strongly believe, that you belong together. Be honest with yourself. Do not delude yourself. If it is right you will know it. I'm married to my second wife and we have been together for 24 years. Being with the right woman makes all the difference in the world. There is no comparison. Get it right and save yourself a ton of grief and struggle.
When my boy gets to about 12 I'm going to start teaching him. First off he's going to read the books 'The Manipulated Man' and 'No More Mr Nice Guy'.
My parents never taught me anything about marriage, but their divorce taught me alot. A part of me is glad i learnt this very early on so i wouldn't make the same mistakes they did.
one night i was scrolling through my phone, feeling like i’d never figure out why some people just seem so magnetic. then i came across this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and something about it caught my attention. reading it was like turning on a light in a dark room. it’s not about pretending to be someone you’re not; it’s about unlocking the energy you already have. trust me, this book is worth every page
I am with my husband for 13 years, we have 2 boys but I am not legally married. I also don't live in my own country, and here in Chile it does not matter how long you live with a person, you only have rights it you sign the marriage certificate. In case we separate, my husband would also benefit because my kids are Chilean, so is my husband and I am the only foreigner in the family. Still, I don't think I need to sign any paper.... A relationship is something that is decided between 2 people and it helps if you make sure that no third parties get involved.
It’s good to hear you’ve got a clear picture of your own situation.
Got married at 42 for the first time. Divorced at 60 never do it again.✌🏽
I was naive and didn’t know how to stand up for my values because I didn’t have them. Now I do. Now I know what I want in a woman instead of what I don’t want. Now whoever she is, she’s one of those rare gem unicorns.
Good luck, I hear they are out there, but I haven't seen one.
They can take your house, pension, life. So sayeth the 'Family Court'.
Many of them think they are entitled to it.
The juxtaposition of "family" and "court" should cause us to recoil in horror. Eleven years ago, I was involved in exposing the dysfunction of the family court system in one particular county in Pennsylvania via an alt-media venture. We called our series "Custody for Cash." Almost immediately upon shining just a bit of light on the abuses, we were inundated with horror stories from all over the country.
You aren't alone John. I had no clue what I was getting into and it cost me dearly. I have told both my sons to never get married and so far they aren't and they are in their late 30's and early 40.
Any young man who truly understands what marriage entails, he would certainly run away from it. It's all about education, hence system's relentless efforts with all the utilities at its disposal to deceive young men and trap them in. This is why your videos are so important John. Thank you sir.
I went for the youngest in her family and she didn’t know nothing about kids. Biggest regret.😢 She forced me for kids so I gave in but it was terrible when the kids came.
This video needs to be in middle school mandatory for all 7th grade boys. Maybe 6th grade, the grade before the one that dances are introduced to our young boys.
Then it needs to be repeated just before graduation, just to make sure.
Good morning 🌄. We are heading outside , too. Hiking trails in the snow, which is melting, thankfully.............. 40 degrees sunny, just the 2 of us
Sounds like a great day!
I tell my sons to proceed with caution. I teach them about personality disorders, mental illness and dark triad traits. I tell them about infidelity and no-fault divorce and support payments and prenups and cohabitation agreements. I tell them about consent and me-too. There's more to it that just the hot-crazy matrix (but that's a good start ;).
You give him 100 reasons of risk of getting marry .
*THIS*
My grandmother suggested I create a pros and cons list when I told her I was getting married. While this was valuable advice, I believe that if she had actively guided me through the process, I might have avoided some of the negative outcomes. This experience has been a significant learning opportunity, highlighting numerous drawbacks to my current situation. The sole genuine benefit I can identify is the children we have together, which I now understand as the only justifiable reason for marriage. But even then it comes with a very big price tag.
Don't blame your granny 'cause your grown azz couldn't/wouldn't honestly assess the person or the reason to get married.
The Section of “Bad Parent or Parents” is so true… scary true.. those bad apples always fall next to the tree.
You sure teach me alot John Griffen THANK YOU!
i remember this one time i felt like no matter what i did, people just didn’t notice me. i tried everything-confidence boosters, social tips, you name it-but nothing seemed to work. then i found this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it completely shifted how i saw myself. it’s not just about being noticed; it’s about understanding the energy you project. honestly, this book made all the difference for me. if you’ve ever felt invisible, you need to read it.
My Dad was basically non-verbal. A few times across the years, somehow his marriage to my
overbearing, control freak Mother came up and he said the same thing, " I was a sucker ..."
Then, his words trailed off ... Thanks for the Ungodly sacrifices you made for us Kids, Dad, RIP.
Same.
He had just given up on life due to stress of marriage.
Some of the best advice I have heard on marriage!
Thanks
Everytime a new video comes out, I always look forward to the opportunity to learn more. Thank you, John! I have 3 boys that i would like to guide in the right direction. Your content gives me the confidence to know i will be prepared to help them!
it’s pain you’ll never understand until you experience it
John, your wisdom is incredible. While I've obviously not experienced things to the degree you have (not been through a marriage a divorce) and have much less life experience at 31, I really relate to so much of what you talk about. Your perspective and the way your articulate it is amazing. Been absolutely loving the past year I've had since bailing from a draining LTR and just enjoying my physical and financial freedoms. So much inner peace - and calm.
Thanks. Freedom is very valuable. We can't just give it away for a little intimacy and companionship. You need to know you are getting a great partner that enhances your life.
@@john-griffinI cannot agree with this statement more. ❤
2. She doesn't love you she only loves and is loyal to her feels. Take her present feelings of love, turn it into hate but make it exponentially more potent to the 10th power.
My parents told me nothing about women apart from 'don't get them pregnant'. When I was 20 I knew more about conjugating French verbs than I did about women.
They should make a Bescherelle about interpreting women.
I am going to watch this again together with my two sons. Thank you.
The Hot Crazy Matrix is a joke? That guy is being submitted for a Nobel prize consideration every year, on two categories: mathematics and peace 🕊️
Thanks!
@@john-griffin hoemath has a much better version of the matrix. I highly suggest checking it out.
Recently separated after a 30 year marriage,my best lifelong friend casually says ' I could never understand why you got married on the first place as you were so independent and self sufficient and you were always very busy with your hobbies. Why spoil it ?'
I said ' well thanks for that,I wish you would have said that before the wedding.'
And if you weren't independent like you are, she would deem you "needy" and with a "lack of purpose in life". Don't try to make sense of her BS. She will flip the script on you and find fault in whatever you do. These are the last blame-shifting moves to guilt trip you and relieve herself from taking any responsibility for the end of the marriage. Good riddance.
Took 30 years to say that ? Sort of nuts
John you are speaking truth without being bitter.
But I think if everyone would think things trough like that no one will ever get married again.
I am 54 my dad mom grandparents never told me anything either ...thank you for your wisdom wish my son would listen to you
Aaron Clarey talks about this as well........
Kevin Costner, Brad Pitt, Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Richard Burton, Tom Brady, Johnny Carson, Frank Sinatra, etc, etc. Leonardo DiCaprio seems to be one of the few publicly high-profile guys who paid attention to the Hot-Crazy Matrix. You are the G.O.A.T., John.
Yeah, Leo knows the game😀
Son: Dad, whats marriage like?
Dad: No.
Old joke-- Newly wed daughter asks her dad what's the s-x life married to mom after all these years? Dad says "We only have oral s-x these days." Daughter- ???? Dad says, "When we pass each other in the hallway, I say 'Screw You" and she says 'Up yours!'"
John, thank you for an in-depth conversation about the meaning of marriage. I've made my mistake with everything you've mentioned and wish I had been educated before saying, "I do." Twenty-five years of a failed marriage have taught me well. I've been divorced and single for seven years and counting.
I am 44 right now and have never been married. I have started and sold several businesses since I was twenty-five.
I read contracts all the time.
If I read a marriage contracts from an unbiased perspective I would think you were crazy as a man to sign it.
I was working at a welding shop, I was in my late teens early twenties. I was told by a man 35 to 40 years my senior. " what ever you do, do not get married, only advice I remember. Parents told me nothing
I was in a video store 35 years ago.A woman whom I saw on occasion, out of the blue,
said "Don't get married. It really changes you." I didn't process it then, but I can still see
her forlorn face.
Marriage is indeed a huge undertaking. Every time a couple marries, a man dies.
John, I love your dogs! They look happy to be with you.
Unfortunately familiarity breeds contempt. A painful truth, but truth non the less .
John this was absolutely one of your best videos, sometimes the cold weather helps bring out what really matters to the forefront of our minds
i remember feeling like i was always the one fading into the background while others stood out effortlessly. it was frustrating and made me doubt myself a lot. then i came across this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it showed me things i’d never even considered. it’s not just a self-help book; it’s like a guide to understanding your own energy and using it to connect with people. if you’ve ever felt like you’re not seen, this book might change everything.
Everything you said in this video should be told to every man's son(s). I wish I had known this information before I entered the shit show.
I remember my dad saying a few things, but I was already chained. My mother treated him like a dog, but he would not leave her, said "They were a couple." I always thought to myself "No, dad, you think you're a couple, she doesn't." She spent every dime he had saved, after he retired. When he passed away all they had was Social Security.
Not me! Every major problem I ever had in my life, there was a woman involved in one fashion or another! I am single and I am the only one that has the key to the bank.
Men are just fill-ins in a woman's life until the next sucker is rounded up.
@@Drumbeat52 I’m sorry to hear of what your dad put up with before passing on. Is your mom looking to you to supplement her past frivolous spending or has she learned to live within her means?
Also, how has your mom handled not having your dad around to abuse any longer?
Absolutely correct
My sister had moved them and put them in a senior park model home because they were broke. My dad had passed in 2006, my mother passed away in 2016.
She was fine living alone after he passed, women have a way of adjusting faster than men. She always had some problem or a problem with someone, even groups! lol
My mother was a controller and even got what she wanted from my sister. She never changed, you just had to accept her as she was.
You do know that women want to be in control of the relationship and sooner or later the man either leaves, is forced out or just dies a slow miserable death over the years. There may be some out there not like that, I haven't found them.
Gratitude , for this guidance and counseling .
Thank you John, great advice!
Solid advice, nothing to add. It might sound ruthless but this is how you need to approach marriage and long term relationships
1. The sex stops
2. The caring and affection stops
3. The Coolidge effect always kicks in
4. Nagging non stop
5. Silent treatment
6. No freedom.
7. Stress
8. Cheating
9. Lying and over spending
10. No fault divorce 😂
@@wread1982 This is what they don’t talked about in the Christian world. Especially the sex drying up. Nobody wants to have that discussion.
And men voluntarily bought into this for at least a century. It blows my mind. The pushback is occurring now. Long over do.
Thank you brother! I seen everything you talked about. My ex - wife has some much childhood trauma and she refused to get help. To her I was the problem for our failed marriage. So she left me. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
THIS IS GOLD 🥇 SHARE THIS VIDEO!
Got married at 43, and divorced at 45. Being single since. I love my freedom.
I just turned 43 last month and still on the fence about marriage. I had a coworker who said to me years ago, when I was 34, "wait until you're about 43 to get married." I keep thinking if I want to be a father I'll have to get married. I don't want to have kids outside of wedlock. But man you were 43 and it ended in 2 years. My life is so good right now but I still contemplate if I should do it.
@@Kenny-Ross Kids are real, marriage is a made up concept. For you to live your life assuming you need to take part in a pretend contract between two able bodied humans is insane. Move to a no common law state and have some kids. Think outside of the chains that bind you.
@ Well I’m a Christian but I do question things about marriage that don’t get talked about in the “ Christian world.” I left the states two years ago and now living in the East. Marriage is risky no matter where you go or who you choose to marry. But a buddy of mine was saying earlier today he feels the same way that marriage is a made up concept to control men. Also, I feel marriage is for women. Every time I ask someone what are the benefits a man gets from marriage it’s crickets. I’ve yet to get an answer to that question. I just prefer to marry without the government and just marry ourselves before God. Vows, rings, ceremonies are not found in the Bible. But we’re told we need to have those things plus the government involved for a marriage to be considered official.
If you really want kids, find someone who is willing to sign a legal contract to carry a child and sign over all rights to that child after birth to you with no future compensation. No cohabitation and use medical IUI (Intrauterine Insemination).
@@Kenny-Ross Your last sentence shows you need a bit more time and self reflection to truly see within the matrix. "We're told we need to have those things plus the govt involved for a marriage to be considered official". Who's telling you? And why are you listening? The bible says nothing about giving over your rights to the govt and signing a lopsided agreement.
Those dogs are just so happy to be with you out there.
Yep, God threw us out in the arena to be slaughtered by the big cats. Our dads didn't know any better either. My dad was miserable. Like me, married a beauty 15 years younger. A living hell. Now, I am a handsome older SINGLE man.
Most Married Men In Yester-Year Were A Generation Of Men Who Lived Lives Of Silent Desperation. They Attempted To Cope The Best They Could. But Taught Us Younger Guys NOTHING About Financial Simphood AKA Marriage.
You’re right
I wish all my youngsters would have the balls to play this video. Very powerful. Most of us wish we were warned before we carried the weights. Sometimes we need to live the experience I guess
One of your best videos John!!! All extremely valid points that cannot be stressed enough!!
One other item John. If she talks really positvely about one ex in particular among others, in my situation, she had pair bonded. I did not know until later that he was the one that got away and she would always pine for him. I also can say part and parcel with this is, typically, with most women, no matter if you are Chad or Tyrone, you are never her first choice. No matter how good you are. Thanks again for the great content!
Thank you for pointing out that SEX SHOULD NEVER BE THE MAIN FACTOR TO GET MARRIED. 2 guys know did this, got married because the sex was amazing, one was in my former church, they got divorce within a year. The another was guy I've known since HS, he married her partly because the sex was amazing, now that they're married, he's miserable.
8:07 That advice is spot on. I had an ex who was banging (face and body), we were very sexually compatible, but as much as I tried to push marriage in my head, my eyes and spirit were showing me otherwise. So glad I didn't go through with it. I believe she's married now, all I can say is good luck to that guy.
Remember, Quirkyalone Day is Feb 14 every year in opposition to the popular valentine's day. Sasha Cagen author created this day in 2003. For partnered people Quirkytogethers', the day is a reminder that even in relationships you are an individual who has value on your own. I have read Sasha's book 📚 years ago 😂..... Stay healthy guys and choose women wisely
Excellent
In many cultures marriage is for the purpose of starting a family. Some cultures even go so far as to say it is your responsibility to society to have children when you choose marriage. It's about the survival and prosperity of the species, not about lust.
Your content and its presentation with all your experiential trials and tribulations make it so informative and eye opening.. just keep up the good work and enlighten young men like me more !
These fantastic points-which nobody teaches us-needs to be a chapter in the book.
If you make your living in a profession or trade that has lots of uncertainty or ups and downs, be cautious, Women are far more likely to abandon you during those down times, They expect you to provide, and that providing is only supposed to increase over time. There is no loyalty during financial setbacks. Any support evaporates. They may not cheat or leave, but your sex life will disappear as their attraction to you dies.
Thank you for the content I wish my dad would have given me these insights.
Many thanks, great talk!
Agree wìth with everything you said so true. Your channel is growing and for good reason you tell it how it is and your topic are so relevant. Thankyou