SPILLING THE TEA ON ALL MY THERAPISTS
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
- To all the therapists I've seen before. I've been going to therapy for nearly two years now and it's something I'll always prioritize. I'm so happy with the therapist I have now HOWEVER it took me a long time to find the right one. In this video I chat about all the therapists I've seen and explain what I didn't like and what I learned. Hopefully this video can help anyone who's searching for a therapist and encourages you to not give up.
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To all the therapists I've seen before... I wanted to sit down and chat about my whole journey on finding the right therapist for me. I would love to know your guys' therapy experiences in the comments below. n_n
Started seeing my school's therapist this year for stress... a lot of it is just me ranting about my life, but after hearing this I want to start to improve myself instead of just ranting :)
to all the therapists before - thank u, next ^~^
Thank you so much for making this video Jenn! You really nailed alot of points which gives me so much more clarity now! 🙂
I really loved this video Jenn, if you would enjoy making a few more I'd gladly watch them. However I also find it important to let you know that you don't have to open up if you don't want to. You're also allowed to keep a few things to yourself. :)
Thank you for this video!! I really enjoyed watching it and I enjoy the further ones you'll make.
Lots of love from Belgium!
Thank you for this
I’ve never seen a video like this, love this type of quality content! 💖😍
Yay! Thanks for clicking on it!
@@imjennim would love more of these !
I am a Korean-American clinical psychologist and I want to thank you for posting this. I love hearing the client’s perspective and how they’re experiencing the intense change they are investing in. Additionally, thank you for touching on the topic of multicultural issues and how finding a therapist who is culturally competent is so important. I am so glad to hear you found such a great match! Thank you for posting this!
Thanks for opening up and sharing about your experience!! It’s really helpful. Also admire how much you prioritize your mental health 💛💛
My favourite youtuber commenting on my other favorite youtuber 😍😍, the world is really round 💜. You are one of my biggest inspiration! You have no idea how much you hav helped me through times when i felt hopeless 💜. Thank you so much aileen 💕💕
Oh hey... didn't expect to see you here. I love your videos. 💜
It's so strange that therapist #2 suggested you cut ties with your parents. Im a psychology student and one of the things they teach us is that we have to understand the client's culture. There are things that seem "strange" but are completely normal in a different culture.
Also, as a Mexican-American, I completely understand the feeling the you have about your parents. I owe my parents EVERYTHING. They risked everything to get me and my sisters here and we have such a better life for it. I can literally never repay them and it's not a negative thing.
It is a negative thing when that creates negative emotions in you. Such as guilt, feeling less than, not ever good enough, emotionally blackmailed; in essence, when it become toxic and detrimental to your health and well-being.
Right? I felt all of the therapists she spoke about before the last were quite insensitive and didn’t seem to take the time on getting to know her other than wanting to push their own views and solutions.... seems like they may need a bit of help too lol
I agree therapist #2 demonstrates how to not do counselling or therapy, honestly she could've gone towards placing boundaries here and there but her solutions were extreme and unhelpful for anyone to cope long term. Amazing and informative video love it xxx
I guess it's not literal.😅 Cutting ties just means you don't have to carry a heavy burden just because they are your parents. I'm an Asian-American and I'm on a therapy, dealing with the guilt, feeling like I'm owing everything as if like life debt. It's a really strong, never-ending feeling related to our culture more than in others. This was one of the reasons I've started having panic attacks and anxiety. I think her therapist #2 tried to persuade her in a wrong way. Pushing her too hard.
I agree with you it's not a negative thing we just need to refocus our mind.
Diana GRM THANK YOU for saying that. I think cultural diversity is certainly something lost sometimes in counseling. Counselors (and friends) tend to be culturally homogenous in their advice; it’s like only one culture is right and a person needs be culturally American to be considered healthy.
I’m a therapist, and I ALWAYS tell new clients not to give up on finding a good fit! It’s like any relationship - good chemistry is so important!! I ask clients to let me know if they feel we’re not a good fit, and I will happily find them a better one. That’s more important than client retention for me ❤️
Yess! Thank you for this. That's great that you're so clear with your clients!
I’m training to become one, and yes this! I have so many friends complain about their therapists and I’m always confused why more don’t offer them this, I just assumed it’d be standard :/
BeyondBrii I agree! I just want my clients to get help - I don’t care who it’s from!
@@moochie719 i'm currently seeing a therapist but i feel like we're not a good fit. i've been grudgingly going because i don't really know how to tell her that i don't want to continue this anymore. what is the best way to go about this?
Sara Bak I’m sorry to hear that! My first suggestion is to talk about it openly with her. She may not realize it or may be holding back for some reason, and sometimes an honest conversation can actually deepen the relationship. Maybe something like, “I wanted to talk to you about something before we start today. I’m realizing that I don’t feel very connected to you, and I’m not sure why.” And then let her ask follow up questions. Therapy *should* be a safe place to disagree and talk openly about the therapeutic relationship. If she isn’t willing to talk it through, I would say go ahead and move on to someone else. If you are able to have a good conversation and you still feel the same way, I would ask her for referrals. It may be uncomfortable for her, but that’s her job. I hope that’s helpful!
I'm Vietnamese and was verbally/emotionally abused my whole life and my parents used their struggles and sacrifices as justification for the abuse, so being told by a young Vietnamese therapist and an older Chinese psychiatrist (both female) that it's not my fault that I'm not the child that they envisioned having, that I don't owe them anything, and that it's understandable to cut ties with them was actually a relief. I don't see myself cutting them off. I love my parents and I'm thankful for what they've done for me, but it was damn near not worth it.
FatBestialSwan I totally feel you. Of course I am grateful to my parents for sacrificing a lot for their children and always putting us first. I DO really think I owe them a lot, however this doesn’t mean I owe them everything. It was still their decision to get children. I know I am lucky to have parents that dedicated their live to raise us, however especially my mother uses this against us now in order to somehow ˋblackmail´ me (as I am the youngest out of four children). If I don’t agree with something she says or don’t do something she wants from me, I am always the ungrateful daughter. She uses this behavior a lot to suppress me, which is also one of the reasons why I feel so responsible for all the problems within our family. So both of my therapists made it clear to me that I need to untie myself from my parents and I totally get why also your therapist suggested it to you. Of course, maybe this doesn’t seem to be a huge issue to you, so your therapist should have listened more to what’s really bothering you in your life, but her advice in general was not totally unreasonable. Good luck to you on your journey of self-healing
So did you cut ties with us parents? I am German Vietnamese and my mum has luckily been never any kind of abusive before (except some harmless ass slaps xD) so my dumbass head thought that other children of asian immigrants don't have a big problem with their parents
yes yes yes yes yES YES YES YES!! More mental health videos for sure!!! They really do help people not feel alone in their mental health struggle.
Yes..thank you sharing. I have never seen content like this. I have been curious about seeing a therapist for quite some time. Just to have in my tool belt. And my daughter who is PhysD told me I should. Lol. I have been to one before and he wasn't good fit and I just was totally turned off and didn't have the energy to try again. But it is something I should value u more and make a priority.
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yes!
+ totally agree! please more videos!
Jenn, ahhh I'm in the process of finding a therapist and your story of your first therapist is the exact same thing I'm kind of going through right now. Felt really nice to hear you have the same thing. Ending really abruptly left me feeling really on edge, and then not being able to see her again for awhile, and overhearing my therapist ask the woman at the front desk who I was, did not feel good! in the process of trying to find someone else. Thanks for sharing this video though it's so helpful for all of those out there interested! and therapy is such an important thing!
Please make more videos on this topic and about your experiences! I feel like we have some similar life experiences and similar ways of dealing with our issues (rationalizing events to process them effectively). I love that you have 2 years of therapy experience and a year of consistently seeing the same one, so talking about your experience would be a great insight for your audience :)
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finding a therapist of color is super important. i remember having white therapists that kinda looked at my life as a south asian as "strange" and just couldn't understand at all. it made me feel extremely uncomfortable and as if i'm misrepresenting my culture someway because of my personal traumas which gave me even more anxiety. i found myself explaining more about my culture and how it works rather than healing. finally, i found the perfect fit and she was a person of color!!! im so glad you found the perfect therapist for you :)
very true! this very issue makes me want to go and get my masters. there aren't enough of us in this field!
So incredibly important!
So true!!
wow - I can’t believe the 2nd therapist told you to cut ties with your family. I would have had the same reaction as you as an Asian American!
Yeah... I was PISSED.
saaame!! being half Korean I believe family is SO IMPORTANT
I would have the same reaction like "is you crazy", I probably wouldn't believe her but I'm hispanic and family is very important to me as well!
Dude I'm totally white from scandinavia and I would've been totally pissed as well, family is important, that therapist was weird!
i was soooo shook when you said that. i could never
Hey jenn! As a psychology student, this video rocks! It’s REALLY important for people to know what a journey it is, since a lot of people give up on their first try. Sometimes the therapist’s approach doesn’t match you and/or your needs, but there are SO many to choose from. The more people know that, the better, cause we all know how it can help and heal.
As a psychology student, I 100% second this !
Yeah I majored in psychology too, and I remember learning that the relationship, or rapport you have with a therapist is almost more important than the advice or tools they give you in your sessions. I've forgotten a lot since I graduated lol but that stuck with me
Also, as a psychology student, this is 100% true!!
More mental health! Make a video on said "repercussions of having a display profession". You said display profession and I had to pause the video because I had never heard it be called that. Real talk about how having your life online has had an affect on your life both positively and negatively. I'd love you hear you dive into the nitty gritty because I feel like we all feel like that "influencer" life would be so grand when in fact in IS a profession and it is work and like any job it can take a toll on your mental health. I also like hearing about your struggles with anger. I think your vlogs definitely maintain a positive tone, but I struggle with anger a lot, as well as FOMO and comparison being a normal digester of youtube, and sometimes I watch your vlogs and they don't make me feel good about myself- HOWEVER whenever you dig in about your feelings, it feels so much more genuine and personable. Like yeah, she just a normal person trying to figure it out- like me. ("Celebrities- they're just like us" lol) OH ALSO- on this topic, I have a movie recommendation; watch Ingrid Goes West on Hulu. It's wild and but I think you'll find it super relative.
Hey thanks so much for doing this episode Jenn! I am an Asian American therapist in training and it's really encouraging to hear this from you :) Also, just to validate your experiences it's been confirmed that Asian clients have a higher success rate with a therapist that are also Asian (through research)
We need more mental health videos Jen. This was SO eye opening and I find it very heartening that you were willing to share all this with us it really helps to know that we aren’t alone in all of this
I'm studying to be a therapist and OMG this is so insightful. It's really refreshing to see what the client's point of view is because all I'm seeing now is just the therapist's POV while in this therapy program in school. I would love to see more mental health videos! I loved hearing the pros and cons of each therapist you saw. Some of them are do's and dont's that I'm learning rn. Love your content always and i'm so glad you found the right fit! There is a need for more Asian American therapists and I hope to change that in the future.
I'm studying psychology and a few of my professors let us know that when you study therapy it can also be super useful to follow some therapy yourself. To indeed, as you said, get the other point of view. Just dropping it here as a small suggestion for you. ^^
But feel free to completely ignore it if it doesn't feel right to you!
Good luck with your studies!!!
As an Asian American therapist myself, I agree that sometimes clients just need to take the risk to shop around before they find a good fit. Finding a therapist who understands your culture (not just ethnicity) is very important. The key here is that the client will work on goals that he/she establish. I'm glad you found one that lets you explore your own goals. These days a lot of clients want to get therapy to get a solution or answer from their therapists. Doesn't work that way. A lot of people want instant gratification. Thanks for sharing!
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Jenn never disappoints, this is QUALITY content! 💞 I hope the RUclips community continues openly talking about those subjects, because I feel like we're slowly getting to the mental health representation we deserve. Always so proud of Jenn for not giving up and for all your progress!
Dude, I watch this and I realise how freaking lucky I am. I was having really BAD anxiety issues and I went to see a therapist. First session, I've spent 2 hours just talking with her. Imediately clicked with her. She's a strong and bright woman that lived so much and she really cares about me, kick my butt if needed and remember things of our early sessions - 1,5 year ago. I'm so happy you did not quit and managed to focus on your mental health and found someone good!
How could she not remember you? That makes the entire thing pointless since she obviously won't remember any of the thing you told her. How do you make progress with that? Huge lack of professionalism...
I think all first generation Americans feel they owe a great debt to their parents-Asian or not. Because we do. They made the ultimate sacrifice to come here and give us a life they didn’t have. I’m assuming the second therapist does not fit in the category and so doesn’t see eye to eye with this. But in general, when connecting with someone on such a personal level, we always feel more comfortable with someone that mirrors us, both in their upbringing and physical appearance. We need more diversity out there to help other women of color.
Also though mainstream American culture seems to be about 'independence' to the point of labelling all interdependence as pathological.
I've heard so many American's describe pretty normal community or family dynamics as 'toxic co-dependence' just because there was support involved.
I remember listening to your podcast with dumbfoundead about your therapist and thought it was so interesting. I'm glad you made a whole video cuz this was really helpful and insightful!!
Ahhh thanks for listening to the podcast with Dumb! :D
She has a podcast?
YEAH! SHE HAS A PODCAST?
An K Tran she was a guest on dumbfoundeads podcast! It was a really good episode though, you should watch/listen :) (it’s posted on yt)
Red flags with therapists are so important to understand. I went to therapy once and told them about the issues I was having in my life. Instead of being there for me they just said “that sucks I don’t know what to say” and moved on form that. This happened years ago but the moment has stuck with me in a negative way but has also helped me understand how I want a therapist to interact with me. My advice is to stick with your gut. If it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t
Not related to the video but that pink sweater is so pretty, and looks so good on you!
Aww thank you! n_n
Does anyone knows the brand? Bershka has a similar one, but the pink looks different I think 😅
I wanna know where can I get that sweater too!
@@imjennim Where is the sweater from?
Yes the sweater is so cute!! also wanna know where it's from ^-^
Thank you thank you thank you Jenn for making this video! Plz do more videos about mental health, anxiety and...just sit down and 101 talk type videos!!>3
Anyway, this is my personal experience about the therapy.
"Therapists' schedules are booked up" IS REAL!!!! And actually it sort of affect me as a barrier to be "outspoken" with my therapist. I go to therapy from time to time, and every time when we finish our conversation, she(the therapist) will ask me about the next time appointment. However, the most weird thing is that... I always experience some bad things and emotions literally in the middle of my two therapies, which means if I want to talk to my therapist about the current things that affect me, I have to talk to her after 3 weeks. But after 3 weeks, my emotions have almost gone, and I almost solve the problem and pain(not in a good way tbh, just the suffer with crying and complaining and praying sth cliche "it's gonna be ok" lol). Next time when I go to my therapy, actually I don't even feel anything, just describe those things shortly without being emotional because the "anesthetic effect" of my emotion to those certain things.
Besides, another very essential factor that affect my therapy experience is the language. Because English is my second language, and I am studying in US, which means I talk to my therapist in English only. Even tho I can clearly express the process of those events happened in my life, sometimes I prefer to talk in Chinese(my mother tongue) with people who understand Chinese because I want to completely express some descriptions in a real and raw way. Speaking English gives me time to think about the expressions and brainstorm the usage of words, and it will distract my concentration on the feelings. I tend to be more calm rather than speaking Chinese. Therefore, my therapist regards me as a person who's rational even in the hard time... but I am totally not. If I can talk to someone in Chinese, I would definitely have emotional breakdown and just urgently pop out all the negatives from my heart :(
Yes recently there are a lot of studies showing how communicating in a foreign language takes the emotion out of decision-making e.g. moral decisions! You could talk to your therapist about how you are forced to think more rationally while speaking in English and hopefully she could understand you in a better way x
@@324smile Thank you for this information! I appreciate that I'm not the only person to feel that way haha. I'll definitely tell my therapist in my next appointment!
@@Bunnylovescoffee I don't know where you live, but I know there are asian-based mental health places. I live in Oakland, California , and it has a high Chinese population, and I was recommended by a school counselor, and I found my therapist. English is my first language, but I do know how to speak in chinese. But pretty much all the workers there speak chinese, and there a lot of the therapists that speak other asian languages as well!
@@Bunnylovescoffee I'm sure if you do some research, you could probably find something similar around where you live! Good luck!
@@proudtobeAYSHUN I study in a small campus in PA now, so we don't have Asian-based therapist since we do have limited resources :( But the good thing is that I go to the on-campus counseling and mental health treatment for free haha! Thank you for your advice! As long as I go back to China in summer vacation, I'll try to find another therapist in China and talk to her(I prefer the same gender as well) to see if there's any difference.
This feels so genuine, and I appreciate it so much.
Thank you for this video Jenn! I totally can relate to this video! :) Even though we are already friends, I feel like I know you even more now! :) love you Jenn! :)
Whoops my English-- I thought that you were gonna talk about an incident where you actually spilled tea on the therapist 🤣 I can't wait to watch the whole vid!!!! Jenn's vids are always spirit-lifting😚
LOOOL! It's not that kinda tea! Hehehe! n_n
omg same🙈😰
Me too and then it clicked 😅
I love how raw you are in this video Jenn and I totally agree about spending your earned money on things that make you feel fulfilled in life. I made a video called 28 lessons I learned on my own channel talking about the lessons I've feel like I've intook the most in my 28 years of life and wanted to share with others so we are open to not feel worried about the challenges we find solutions to, not always easy but they are there.
Love you and I think think you should continue to share your videos.
As a multiracial asian, this helped so much Jenn. I'm going to grad school soon to be a therapist. Thank you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable on screen. Mental health awareness for the win.
As a future therapist, I'm in therapy myself and exhaustion and crying are my prominent reactions. I wish sessions were longer. It often does take a long time to find a good client therapist relationship, it's dependent on chemistry, techniques, and their therapy approaches. Sounds like you were really active in your sessions which is great! Sessions should always be about the client! Never about the therapist.
For those looking for one, see if your prospective therapist has exposure to multicultural background. This may be helpful for those who come from certain backgrounds, so they understand your cultures values and origin in the very basic sense.
Congrats on finding a therapist Jenn!
Sounds like your therapist follows the person centered therapy style, meaning you lead the sessions and she follows and guides you when you get stuck. ☺
"i´ve there´s an open bar i´m like H-H" the zoom in and face is so hilarious i´m crying from laughing xD. You´re awesome, thank you for sharing your insight on therapy! I think we can use a lot more of that!
I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder at 14, and my mom tried to find me a therapist. The first two I met with both made me bawl my eyes out, but not in a cathartic way whatsoever. One was a heavier, older woman, with bright pink, recently tattooed eyebrows. She only ever talked about her own problems with her boyfriend and her dog. It was as if I was HER therapist. She hardly took anything I said seriously, and then threatened to have me taken from my parents, solely because I didn't feel comfortable trying medication just yet. It took me 2 years after that to find a therapist who I clicked with. I never ended up needing medication; talk therapy alone with the right person worked wonders!!
Wow that first therapist sounds awful. >__< I'm so sorry you had to go through that especially at such a young age. ): I'm glad you found a therapist you clicked with in the end!
The timing of you posting this video is SO crazy to me because I very recently (maybe like 3 months ago?) decided to go to therapy for the same reasons. It actually got to a point where I was so stressed and anxious that I had to become hospitalized. Since then, I've already switched therapists once because I just wasn't clicking with the first one. One of my therapists actually told me the exact same thing, she said "you don't owe your mom anything". Which for me kind of took some pressure off but at the same time I know there will never be a time where I don't want to help her and take care of her. I think for me realizing the difference between having an obligation and actually WANTING to take care of my parents was really helpful and relieving for me. Overall I'm finding this whole journey to be super exhausting but seeing this video gave me so much hope, so thank you for posting it! So much love for you :))))
omg jenn you are GLOWING and i love love love the pink sweater !! ✨✨
Aww thank you!!
“I love being able to support her because she supports me” You have such a beautiful mind, Jen.
I really appreciate the honesty and the courage it took to share such a personal journey. Well-being of the mind is so undervalued in our society. It goes neglected. I will take time to take care of my mind and heart and pass along the compassion to my surroundings. Thanks Jenn! Well done!
Agh I love this video! Any chance you could make more videos regarding your upbringing/Asian parenting? I relate with you and a lot of the other commenters, but for my own personal experience, I’d be lying if I said I’ve never thought about cutting ties with my parents, despite the Asian mentality of taking care of your elders.
I really love this, I've been meaning to just make the appointment and see this therapist for the first time for a year now I can't build the courage as I don't know what to expect, and maybe I'm a little nervous/ scared? but I'm really gonna try to just pull through and go!! ❤️ I know it will really help me!
BlondeHilton I was the same way! I finally did it this summer and I’m so happy I did
Love this video! Would love more videos all about your mental health journey!
im so glad you're talking about this, a lot of ppl talk about going to therapy but never mention the work tht goes into finding a good therapist.
Yes! I feel like a lot of people are chatting about therapy which is great, but I wanted to dive deeper about my experience!
I love this!! Therapy is hard and finding a therapist that works for you is so hard! It’s so great you’re sharing your story bc I feel like it happens to a lot of people, but no one really talks about it so you feel alone. Thank you thank you, you are so awesome ❤️
Oh girl okay not done with the video yet, but I have to say that although I'm not Asian (I'm middle eastern) I totally get the responsibility towards your parents. I would've been pissed at the comment belittling that responsibility, too.
Seriously... I was MAD.
Loved this Jegg!!
Yes more mental health videos please! I started looking for a therapist, but never got a call back from my provider. 😑 i know I need to go though. It’s something that I think will positively impact my life once I do it. You’ve inspired me to keep up with it and try again to get my first session.
I relate so so much! Thankfully my first therapist was amazing but I did take a moment and thought I was ok. I guess I was afraid to speak the truth. I spent the majority of my money on my mental health because in the end all I wanted to be is happy. ❤️❤️❤️ love you!
I think Therapist #4 never telling you what to do is the different between professors who shove their ideas down your throat and professors who encourage your ideas. I’m majoring in architecture and I love my professors who have multiple suggestions that I can work and iterate from and develop new designs from whereas the professors who only help you build off of one idea or just own straight up give you their designs really frustrate me because I want to design and be creative my way, not follow their idea for a good grade.
From a masters psychology student, it's called guided discovery! I'm glad you and Jenn find it more helpful and impactful when the therapist/professor guides you to make your own decisions rather than just telling you what to do. Our course taught us the importance of guided discovery and Socratic questioning (which teachers also use) so it really made me feel uncomfortable when the earlier therapists had their own solutions/agenda.
Carmen Thank you for telling us about this concept! I never knew about this and I hope Jenn gets the chance to read about it! Sometimes the lack of concreteness/structure is a bit frustrating, but in the end it makes my sleepless nights more enjoyable when my decisions influence the design. 😊
Carmen and my friend is studying psychology too so I’ll bring this up to her!
@@naomischeung Yes the satisfaction at the end is well worth it !
@@naomischeung Awesome! I'm studying psych in Australia, I wonder if its different in other countries. Is therapist the same as a psychologist in the states? Would love to know :)
Hi Jenn, i have been following you for the last 7 years and i just realize this is the first time i think its important for me to comment. Lately, i have been on the edge of unsubscribing because i felt like i dont relate with who you are today. Not in a bad way though. In my opinion, i think it's just the content that was lacking of your essence like it used too. Im So HAPPY and Thankfull for this video on therapy because i feel like i got to reconnect with the evolved Jenn. Your journey on finding a therapist and beeing in therapy really shows the kind of person you are today or becoming. Which is a beautiful soul who is trying to become the best human as it can. Im Glad that you are using your platform to empower people to grow as good human beings. And sometimes going to therapy (which is not only for crazy people) can be a good alternative. Thank you so much for this content! (Im not an english speaker, so i try my best with the grammar)
Man, I just spend the past 2hours watching videos on psychotherapy, finished and decided to go back to studying for tomorrow’s exam and I get Jenn’s therapy video?! Ohhhh boy I will be staying up all night lol
Wow! Just in time! Hahhaha!
jenn, thank you. you are such a queen of love and you radiate such happiness & fulfillment. just, thank you.
I'm chinese and I relate to your worries about not being able to support my parents after they retire SO MUCH. As asians I guess it's rooted in our minds and upbringing that while we are young, we are our parents' responsibilities but when they get old, they are our responsibility no matter what your economic status is. That therapist asking you to cut ties with your parents could probably be seen as the worst of all sins through the Chinese perspective and being unfilial.
thats why a pension exists? Why are you worrying so much
CallMeCarolyn its not just financially you also want to be there for them emotionally and physically. I guess you can see that in people who put their parents in nursery homes vs people who have their parents live with them. This burden is a duty in every aspect of your life bc your parents have given so much to you and you want to give that back
Many immigrant parents work at jobs that don't provide pensions or retirement plans, ect. They literally work long hours with no vacation, sick days ect at low paying jobs to provide for a better future for their kids, which is why their kids often want to succeed to provide for their parents to return the favor.
Many countries do not have well-founded pension schemes like the US does. Plus it's not just about the money, it is about being there for them, and taking care of them while they are sick. For example, many parents will get really upset when they are sent to nursing homes because its sort of like their children given up on taking care of them. This is what Asians see as the duty of a son/daughter.
that second therapist was out of line. I cannot believe she kept pushing the Ayahuasca ceremony to you when you clearly said no the first time. That's so unprofessional
I first saw a therapist when I was around the age of 12. My parents decided to take me to one because I was dealing with depression, anger, and anxiety. At that time, I hated the whole idea of therapy. Being fully open and speaking to someone I did not personally know about my issues was something that terrified me. Being so young, I didn’t understand the benefits of therapy. As you said, it’s so important to find a therapist that you feel is right for you. I’ve gone to see other therapists in my teenage years, but never really found “the one”. The whole experience left me very incomplete and have even made myself think that maybe therapy wasn’t for me. I’m in my mid 20's now, and am still a bit traumatized about trying therapy again, but this video gave me that push to want to try again. I know the process of searching for a therapist won’t be so easy, but I know it will be worth it if I don’t give up. Thank you so much for this video Jenn!
I've been in seeing psychologists since I was 9, (im 20 now) so I'm not shy about talking about my experiences with them. But this past counselor I had was the absolute worst person I've ever met. I was going through one of my hardest and most difficult depressive bouts I ever had, and on top of that my family was accusing me of being a slut and doing drugs and having to defend my image while I was dealing with my depression was exhausting. I've never been with a guy, I have never and will never do any narcotics and I dont drink, so being accused of such things and having your family not believe you broke me. I had break downs in school, at home, everywhere and i got into a really big fight with my parents one day. Long story short, even after breaking down my family still didn't believe me so I went to my psychologist that day to talk to her. In my mind I was like, FINALLY, AND ADULT WHO WOULD LISTEN AND BELIEVE ME, SHE COULD HELP ME. I cry and tell her what has been happening with my depression and family and I tell her the truth. And she looks at me and says, " I understand, but... did you really do it? You seem awfully worried for someone who's innocent " THAT BITCH DID NOT JUST QUESTION MY VIRGINITY AND SOBRIETY- SHE WAS MY LAST RESORT AND WHEN SHE SAID THAT, A BITCH HAD THE WORST MENTAL BREAK DOWN OF HER LIFE. She assured my parents that taking a drug test and a pregnancy test was a good way to find out the "truth" to which I was forced to take. After the tests I was yelled at, demeaned, and was kicked out of the car and was officially booted out of my house. I had to walk a mile in Texas sun to get to my friends house since my phone was dead. It all escalated to that point because of the push my counselor gave to my parents. She was the worst person ever, I hate her, she was my only resort and she didn't believe her patient of 2years. Only after the results came in a few days later (all negative) did my parents apologized and let me come back home. since then I've stopped counseling, but I have my best friend who I always talk to. She's also no stranger to counseling but I think she's perfected the craft more than any psychologist I've been with. Honestly, counseling helps when the person is able to listen, evaluate and give you insight about your way of thinking and perceiving the world. You can find comfort with anyone really, whether it being professional help or a good friend with objective points of view. You just know when someone cares for your well being and is willing to help- only then will you know that you've found the right person to talk to
Your current therapist sounds so lovely and inviting. So glad that you found her and vibe with her the way you do!
Yess, we're in a long and committed relationship!
Hi Jenn! I'm a psychologist and I have been a fan of yours for many years, so when I saw the title of this video I was really curious to hear about your experiences with therapy and I must say, you did a wonderful job at listing all the criteria needed to find a good therapist. You pretty much listed all the points I always give to people when they ask me how to look for a good therapist. Also, thank you for not the discrediting the profession, even though you've had bad experiences. I'm so proud of how you bring awareness to mental health and that seeking professional help is totally normal. I hope you find what brings you peace of mind and happiness
Hey Jenn, I never comment on videos, but I've watched yours for years now. Today was a bad day-I felt like no one would hear me. Then I came home and watched your video. I relate to every. thing. you. said. And I feel heard. Thank you ❤ You've come a long way and I want to thank you for sharing your journey with us 😊
Also thanks for giving me that final push! I'm gonna try therapy again-this time with an Asian American woman, without the guilt of feeling racist/sexist.
Regardless of our backgrounds as we become adults we should start to take care of our parents. It is a cycle, they take care of us when we are children all the way to young adults and even more, once they are older and can't do as much it is our job to be there. Everyone should help their family, what a stupid therapist. I had a similar incident with a therapist, where she told me to not communicate with my grandparents at all because we were having disagreements, I was so young so I tried, but it didn't really help. Glad I don't listen to that anymore.
We really don't talk enough about mental health in the asian community, and I'm so glad you found the right therapist! Although I'm sure all most, if not all, therapists are trained to treat patients from different cultures and backgrounds, there's just something about personally sharing the same experiences. and the asian-american experience is a very complicated one.
A lot of people in the comments are thinking the therapist said to completely stop talking to her parents. From the way Jenn phrased it, it sounds more like the therapist didn't suggest not having a relationship with her parents but to attempt to cut the feelings of responsibility for her parents. I'm not saying that that's the right move, but it's much different than not having a relationship at all.
Okay I have to comment again 😂 But I'll be starting med school next year (yay!) And one of the things that really motivates me is being a visible minority. There have been studies that show that overall compliance with patients increases when a person's doctor looks like them! I love that you found someone you can relate to!
This was soooo hilarious and SOO HELPFUL at the same time 😩🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾💕💕💕
I stumbled upon this video accidentally but I'm so glad I stayed til the end! Mental health is super important & honestly it really is hard sometimes to spew out all your problems to your loved ones.. I've never gone to a therapist but maybe in the future I'll consider going to one :)
Thanks Jenn!
Yes, Jenn, please do more mental health videos if you are able to. Not everyone is aware of mental health problems. For them, those who are having mental health problems are "crazy" or just being too dramatic. So, this kind of video helps me a lot to at least calm down a bit, feeling not alone, and somehow motivates me to go back up and believe that there's a way to get through this situation 💕
you have no idea how much you helped me with this video jenn . you are so real and honest and like you truly care about who you are as a person and i love that thank you so much for being you
“I go to a lot of events, there’s an open bar, and you know I’m like huhuh” LOL 😂
let's just appreciate how gorgeous Jenn looks in this video 💕 love you!
Hey Jen! I've watched you mature on youtube through clothes encounter. I relate to you a lot. I'm Japanese Italian, and I live in LA now too. Definitely keep putting out more content on mental health, please. I've been going to therapy since I move to LA four years ago, and now I am with therapist number 4 and really happy since March. SO MUCH PROGRESS. Hypnotherapy, Reiki, memory, and really going in deep is so essential.
a lot of my friends started to see a therapist after they've seen me heal through the years. I think being open about our experiences as humans really make a difference. I think you're different from other RUclipsrs or influencers to me because you speak about these topics. It helps to feel less alone in a world where we are all busy trying to win this game of life and forget to be kind to one another. much love.
I’ve started seeing my own therapist about two months ago, and it’s been helping me so much. As a university student who’s going through some mental challenges it is such a relief to have somebody to talk to who doesn’t have any ties with you at all - plus, she’s Asian-Canadian like me, and she’s not too much older than me so I feel like she understands my struggles. My only problem is this anxiety I have that I can’t fully explain everything in the time we have, or I forget to say something crucial, or that the long term issues I have won’t ever be solved with therapy and that they’re just a part of me I have to accept. But I guess only the future will tell! Thank you Jenn for this video! We’d love more talks on mental health
Do you mind sharing the name of that company in LA you mentioned plz?
I have definitely been told the same thing about cutting ties with my parents in therapy. I remember feeling totally misunderstood and dismissed by my therapist. I kind of gave up on finding a therapist that fits my needs because I felt hurt by that experience. I am so happy to know that you've found a good fit after persevering. Good for you!!!
Thank you so much for this. I struggle with depression and anxiety and my first therapist was not right for me. He used my cultural background as a reason for why I am the way I am, and then told me to watch a ted talk. I felt humiliated and helpless since then and never considered therapy again and I’ve been struggling for so, so many years. This really helped me realize it takes time and patience to find the right one. Thanks for being open about this topic Jenn.
omg this was amazing!!!! you’re always so articulate, every word u said had so much purpose. i’m also korean american and found a korean american therapist who rly is so great to me.... it’s crazy to hear all the bs u went thru with ur first few therapists im glad u found the one ❤️
I'm wondering what should we do when your classmate grab your crayon and dig it into a nub. what should we say?
totally get what you meant about feeling a responsibility to your parents, as a person of African descent we have these same sentiments. this video was such great timing btw! i was just doing some thorough digging into therapy.
Agreed!! A lot of immigrants and people of color feel this responsibility!
Hi Jenn! I just wanted to say thank you for this incredibly insightful and encouraging video. I’m a Korean-American female, currently in grad school to become a therapist. To be honest, it’s been so difficult and I’ve questioned my ability to be an effective therapist countless times, especially as a woman of color. But you’re video reminded me of why I’m in this field. I hope to be able to positively effect my future clients as much as your current therapist has positively effected you. Thank you again for encouraging me to continue fighting for my license!
I've never been to a real therapist, well I'm sure he was qualified but he was like the "high school" therapist and that was the first time I couldn't control crying while talking about my problems lol. He made me realize being sensitive is a gift. It was cool, totally relate to u as a virgo & asian American hahaha
I just started going to therapy, and I just wanted to say I really appreciate your honesty and thank u for sharing your genuine experiences. And as usual your videos are so helpful and comforting :) love ya Jenn!!
It's sad how in my country going to a therapist is still seen as taboo. I need to go to therapy myself and I'm sure some family members need to but every time I mention it to my parents or grandparents it's never encouraged. I've always been the kid who went to the counseling room to talk to my school's therapist back in high school but my uni now does not provide such thing
I'm so sorry to hear that Zena. ): I do hope you get to see one when you get your own independence!
Dude it took me 5 years (5 diff therapists) to find to the right one (I’ve been wth her for 2 years) ITS CRAZY BUT WORTH IT
As someone who is thinking of doing a counselling and therapy masters after my current degree this was really helpful to see what works and doesn't work. I can't believe how some of your therapists were, I can't imagine most people finding those experiences comfortable or helpful.
I want to see a therapist but don't know how to pay for it. Coming from an Asian background, we don't really tell our parents that we want/need therapy. I feel like it's going to have to wait until I can afford it on my own.
Taylor Lee Hang in there! I was in the same situation but finally got the resources through my school. It’s sad, but mental health is simply not a thing in most Asian cultures.
I want to let you know that there’s an app called talk space that’s been helpful for me. And much more affordableAs Jen said, it’s a journey to find the right therapist. So I don’t want you to think that the app is the end all, but a possible option you could look into when starting your journey. There are a good range of reviews of the app on google so take a look to see if it’s what you need. Good luck!
I love my therapist! She was the 2nd therapist I saw. The first one I saw i personal did not like she was an older lady and when talking about some of my mental health I felt she didn’t take me seriously, like I was just a dramatic teen ( I was 17? When I first needed to talk to someone) but my now therapist is great! She talks to me about what is happening in my brain and really let me understand that my mental health is like any other illness and that I need to work out my brain and to do that I need to know what is going on up there. We did a lot of EDMS therapy to go back through past traumas and to help release the anxiety towards the past.
I am way from my home town at college so I haven’t seen her in along time. But I know I can always schedule an appointment if I feel like things are going bad.
I’m so happy I tried therapy. I have noticed a change from my past self and I don’t think that could happen if I didn’t see a professional.
Thank you Jenn for telling your story!
I've wanted to go to therapy for a long time but never had the means so once I finally transferred to my current university I took advantage of the resources. The sessions are limited, the time is short, and as a black woman I'm confining to a white man (which I never thought would happen lol). I wouldn't say he's the one, but we get along and its good enough for what I have. It never feels like I have enough time to get everything out because the space inbetween visits is over a month, but I've actually learned that with therapy I've surprisingly done a lot on my own. More than I thought I have prior to one. I hope that when I can afford it post grad I can find a therapist again, because there's so much more I haven't figured out about myself.
The graphics are so cool in this video!! 💖
Wow I felt your frustration when the 2nd therapist told you to cut ties with your parents. That is absurd!!! I wouldn't have anything today if it weren't for my parents. They gave so much up for my brother and I. It's not that I OWE them out of spite. I WANT to give them back all they've given to me and more! I love my parents deeply. It's unfortunate that therapist herself doesn't understand the importance of having good parental relationships. Good on you Jenn for finding another therapist after that session with her.
I related to your fourth therapist experience so much. My therapist also lets me lead myself to my own conclusions and encourages me to try and work out my problems for myself. I also love the therapy space as being a private, “me time” zone, where I can vent without feeling like I’m burdening or hurting the person I’m talking to. It’s so liberating to not feel guilty about expressing my feelings and frustrations. I love your description of it being like a zip-lock bag, sealed away from everything else. I was lucky enough to click with my first therapist and really achieved a lot during my first year with her. I’m now seeing her assistant while she’s on maternity leave and this has allowed me to see the benefits of a different kind of therapist, kind of gently pushing me to make the decision to part ways with my first one, something she’s gently prompted me to consider before (the idea being that her kind of therapy isn’t a long term arrangement but one where you can take the ideas home and work on them yourself without a need for a therapist). I’ve also seen a psychiatrist to get a clearer picture of what is going on in my head and give me a foundation to base my treatment on. Having had therapy, it’s something I definitely see as being a part of my life, to the point where I’ll budget to have a spare “therapy fund” so that I can see someone whenever I’m in need of it. I thoroughly enjoyed this video and would love to see more mental health chat-style vids, if you’re up for sharing 😊
an extremely helpful video. I have been thinking about considering mental therapy for more than 4 years now, and I am finally having the courage to do so. thanks Jenn
Hey Jenn, ever since I’ve started watching you years ago, your videos always showed an unimaginably perfect life filled with infinite happiness. But as you posted this video today, I’m glad that you’re opening up about your personal life and mental health. I’m happy that you’re showing me that your life isn’t always perfect and that even the people who seem to have it all together need help too. Thank you Jenn, love you!
Hey Sabrina! Thanks for being so sweet and kind. My channel is a place where I put my highlight reel, but I'm wanting to share different facets of me. My life is amazing, but I am not immune to sadness, anger, and struggle. Everyone no matter where they are is/has been going through something.
"I enjoy spending money on experiences that are gonna feed my soul." Jeeeeennn ♥️
Yay Jenn! I've been going to therapy the same time you have. I completely agree - having a POC therapist has helped me too. Especially with complexities of being a child of immigrant parents and how culture and tradition affect us but we're living in a western society 😩 I definitely feel ya on the burden of giving back to your parents because of their sacrifices. Thank you for sharing your experiences xx 💕💕
Jenn, I really appreciate how open and how well spoken you are with your experiences. It’s such an enjoyment and insightful to watch!
I love this so much! I've been going back and forth about therapy, and whether or not I should I actually take it. Some days I feel like therapy might be a good option for me, to be able to create change and make progress. Then other days, I begin to get in my head and totally neglect the option to try therapy, because I feel like doing so makes me a problem. But this gave me a greater view on what therapy is really like and it feels a lot less scary now. I'd love love love for more videos on mental health! Thank u Jenn! x
Ah you mentioned the crayons in Amy’s video! Thanks for this video, such genuine content.
Jenn, thanks for sharing this with us. And talking about therapy so objectively and openly. We need more people talking about things like this and reduce its stigma!! Lots of love x
Thank you for watching! I just wanted to share my experience in the hopes it helps someone. (:
man you rock jenn! always offering us thoughtful and useful content. you’re one in a million because you’re humble and genuine and intelligent and a seeker. the content out there can be so vapid and materialistic. so please know the thought you put into your content is recognized and appreciated. plz keep up the good work and taking care of yourself-even if that means less content for us sometimes. finally, as an asian american, i watch your journey and your success feeling so much joy and support for you and your family. please give your parents our best and tell them they made a wonderful human being who makes a difference! ❤️
Unless you do not have a toxic relationship with your family. Keep your family close. Save the relationship. Protect it. Healthy family relationship can make the person happier and more successful in life. Your family is your support system. Your family gona be there for you when everybody else decide to let you down. I got furious when she asked you to cut ur ties with ur family!!!!? Excuse me?! Is that how psychologists treat problems nowadays?!
It's so true what you said about wanting to go. It's helpful to look at a therapist like a personal trainer for your brain. They can point out your flaws, blind spots, areas of improvement.. but you have to do the work. Just like physical training, you always get what you put in. And finding the right therapist is important. If you were running a marathon you would want to train with someone who has ran marathons before. But with their guidance and you doing the work they give you, you'll succeed :D
This was a great video Jenn, I love following your mindfulness/mental health journey! More plis
This video made me so emotional. Having struggled with my mental illness my whole life and never having found resources for an individual therapist, it makes me so happy to see how it has helped you. I’m truly moved by this. I feel empowered to speak to my psychiatrist honestly about it. Thank you, Jen. You remain one of my favourite places on RUclips and I always reflect on what you say! Please keep talking about mental health. It’s so so helpful.