How I Live With Adult ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) [Time Stamped]
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- Опубликовано: 12 июн 2024
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#obsidian #zettelkasten #bryanjenks
0:00 Welcome
0:38 Intro
1:49 Prefacing
4:17 The true video kick off
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
4:39 WHAT IS ADHD
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
5:26 Regulating Attention
8:28 Attention Regulation Issue Root Cause
8:59 Effective Medication Treatment
9:46 My Story
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
15:27 MY DIFFICULTIES WITH ADHD
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
15:39 The Need For Constant Stimulation
17:00 Difficulties With Driving
20:24 Self Regulation
22:46 Impulsivity
24:42 Sleeping
25:28 Commitment
27:18 Hyper Focus At Work
28:20 Executive function
30:56 The Desire For Novelty
32:05 The Double Edged Sword Of Hyperfocus
36:23 Fidgeting
39:56 Task Completion (One Track Mind)
43:31 Poor Working Memory (Short Term Memory)
44:26 Sensory Regulation
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
45:26 ADHD BENEFITS AND STRATEGIES
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
48:27 Noise Canceling Headphones
49:42 Exercise
52:00 CLI v.s. GUI Applications
53:15 My Strategies To Keep From Forgetfulness
56:02 My Route Planning Quirk
57:21 Disliking Surprises
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
57:57 CONCLUSION
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
59:00 Outro
0:38 Intro
1:49 Prefacing
4:17 The true video kick off
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
4:39 WHAT IS ADHD
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
5:26 Regulating Attention
8:28 Attention Regulation Issue Root Cause
8:59 Effective Medication Treatment
9:46 My Story
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
15:27 MY DIFFICULTIES WITH ADHD
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
15:39 The Need For Constant Stimulation
17:00 Difficulties With Driving
20:24 Self Regulation
22:46 Impulsivity
24:42 Sleeping
25:28 Commitment
27:18 Hyper Focus At Work
28:20 Executive function
30:56 The Desire For Novelty
32:05 The Double Edged Sword Of Hyperfocus
36:23 Fidgeting
39:56 Task Completion (One Track Mind)
43:31 Poor Working Memory (Short Term Memory)
44:26 Sensory Regulation
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
45:26 ADHD BENEFITS AND STRATEGIES
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
48:27 Noise Canceling Headphones
49:42 Exercise
52:00 CLI v.s. GUI Applications
53:15 My Strategies To Keep From Forgetfulness
56:02 My Route Planning Quirk
57:21 Disliking Surprises
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
57:57 CONCLUSION
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
59:00 Outro
Great resources/channels to check out:
- ruclips.net/video/JiwZQNYlGQI/видео.html
- ruclips.net/video/xMWtGozn5jU/видео.html
- ruclips.net/video/dclKcXgNgGk/видео.html
- ruclips.net/video/UBjexRyx0e8/видео.html
How did you organize I could not organize if my life depended on it
Man hi, nice to hear you! After looking at the title and watching and even implementing part of your system, I thought that apparently all the people who do similar over-system stuff in obsidian have this disorder, as do I. Really, I thought I didn't have it as bright and unlikely to have anything in general. And then I put off watching your video for about a few weeks, but my intuition told me it was worth a look.
And what do you think? While I was listening to your video (on x2 of course :) ha ha) - I was taking notes in parallel to your checklist of examples of how it manifests itself.And I was noting which examples of yours are similar to my life experience and feelings. Yes, the similarity is 80%. Plus I wrote this comment and all at the same time while watching your video for 20-30 minutes, how funny it sounds to me, the desire to do 3-4 things at once and finish everything, finish it, make it effective. Sincerely thank you for the video.
As you accurately noted about impulsiveness, I'd call it sharpness and quickness of reaction still. Also about putting things in place both physically and digitally. Plus difficulties with short-term memory, routes and optimal courses of action in everything, striving for objective efficiency. Not knowing the measure with delicious food, finishing multiple servings of sweets, fruit, nuts or whatever you like. Man how right you are!
Sleep for 4-6 hours, sometimes more, but often enough. Overall I have a similar conclusion as you at the end, that it's a double-edged sword, but I seem to have learned to deal with it well enough. You know what else I've noticed? That I'm increasing this frustration in myself, as if there's more pressure, I need to think of new ways to curb my nature.
Friends with similar problems, high five. Let's share point by point your tips on what problems (atomically) you encounter and your solution, and why.
For example,
By the way, my exercise tips, because you said you don't have enough time for that, maybe running, cycling and listening to blinkist audiobooks on x2-3 in nature will help you. Triathlon and aerobic sports are good for me.
0. Problem? | Solution? | Why?
1. I want to read books, but I can't sit still | Listening to audiobooks | While listening I can do simple chores, like doing chores or walking
2. I get bored while working out | Listening to audiobooks at x2+ | I enjoy both jogging in nature and getting to know books I've always put off. Additional insight, during aerobic activity the amount of oxygen in the blood is greater and the brain functions better, which allows you to absorb information at x2,3 "almost" without loss of quality, for example without running - x3 much, but during the normal.
I saw the title and sighed with relief knowing that it was time stamped. And this is the most beautiful time stamp list I've ever seen.
It’s really hard to describe to other people how horrible it feels when you want to do something and cannot.
"its like trying to put your hand on a hot stove. You know its hot, you are TRYING to do it, but you just CANT make yourself DO IT. It's like that but sometimes even with things you enjoy"
Yes!!
Me sitting depressed in my couch because I can't get myself to do basic things. I hate myself.
@@nielsr.2859 Please do not feel bad. It’s not your fault.
Here are two things that are helping me at the moment:
- When I’m struggling, taking incredibly small steps
- When I take that small step take a breath and celebrate that “I was able to do at least this small thing”
Feeling bad about yourself is very natural - and our ADHD brains tend in that direction - but please don’t allow that voice to undermine your worth.
One tiny tiny step at a time. You’ve got this.
@@eriksalholmalso you're perfect the way you are don't let the brain say different. And if you have too much energy try not using it all the brain tricks is into doing that sometimes we feel more energized than we actually are. Leading to a burnout.
As a fellow high functioning ADHDer, you speak precisely to so much of my experience. The sensation of pain to get started on a big project. The constant need for stimulation at all hours, which others see as “boredom”. Bang on, man. Thank you.
Or just music playing at all times or needing complete silence to think
@@BryanJenkscomplete silence is unbearable
Relationships and adhd… so so so difficult. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and he’s very very patient with me. I was diagnosed when I was in the 6th grade as a learning disability with difficulty to follow instructions. Never had a real name attached until I was 23 and in college got officially diagnosed and started on medication. I’m 33 now and I still struggle, but medication has made a huge difference. Medication keeps me employed and out of jail basically 🤣🤣🤣
Does anyone else with adhd have one important thing to do that day, and the whole day revolves around that one thing making it impossible to do anything else because you’re so hyper focused about not forgetting it or being late for it? Ughhhhh the hyper focus sometimes drives me nuts.
yeah that 1 big task per day thing is deffinitely a thing. and once its done, often too tired to do more, but if possible i try to fill in the gaps with smaller and smaller tasks to ride the productivity wave when i can
Yes! I can generally only manage one task. If I have multiple I need to do I can do them with extra effort but will crash afterwards and have to have a couple of days doing nothing. The hardest thing for me is having any back to back social outings that involve more than one person. I burn out really fast. For me I think there are few overlaps with chronic fatigue syndrome.
I cried watching this... This is literally my everyday life....
I was diagnosed with adhd a few months ago, and I've watched many other great youtube channels that talk specifically about adhd. But none of them gave me the deep practical understanding of adhd as I got in your video. Thank you!
Im so glad you liked the video! :D
Its a double edged sword, BUT I HAVE A SWORD! Hell yeah to this one.
⚔️
This video made me cry, because I never thought someone could relate so much to me. I thought I was the stupid, not normal and wrong one. I am not diagnosed yet, but planning to get an appointment with psychiatrist. It’s really hard for me to manage my work and career when I can’t do things and I couldn’t even understand why I couldn’t do them
You’re not alone :)
I recently found out that I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 12. I am 25 years old, and nobody ever bothered to tell me. I've been horribly cruel to myself for years and years and years. Beating myself up for never finishing what I start, not being able to start things at all, and just being unable to function in the way that I saw other people function. As a result, I've been suicidally depressed and have hated myself for all these years. I always felt like there was something wrong with me. I've thought that I must be lazy, irresponsible, or worthless. Why can't I just do the thing that I have to do? Why can't I finish all these projects that I started with so much enthusiasm? Every unfinished project made the burden heavier. This video feels like a cannonball to the gut. Everything you spoke about that you struggle with, I struggle with. Some things have always bothered me, some I never thought about until you mentioned them, but I experience them all. I've come up with lots of ways to trick myself into functioning along the way but could never strike at the heart of the issue, because I didn't know what it was. I cannot find the words to express how much of a relief it is to finally know what's "wrong with me" (in my self hating vernacular). I can finally take steps to understand and work with myself. On the other side of the coin, I've done objectively really cool things. I've taught myself to play six instruments, taught myself woodworking, mechanics, archery, and a whole bunch of other stuff. I've read a LOT of books lol. I hope I can learn to maximize the benefits of the disorder, minimize the issues, and learn to live with and be a friend to myself. Thank you for uploading this, it's really been an eye opener.
its a double edged sword, but its still a FREAKIN SWORD
Just been diagnosed last year and just hot my medication. So, I'm doing it tomorrow. At 55 years old, my life has been so hard. But now I know why.. I thought I was thick because I couldn't retain information, I couldn't stick to anything. Don't mention relationships. I really just want them to understand me. ME . Without them disowning me with speaking the truth . Yes, me too with how to say it properly without upsetting people. Thank you for the information it's really helpful . 😊
Good luck with your medication regimen!
Mate, this resonates so much. I'm new to understanding my symptoms etc, and it sounds like we have many similarities. Big move to share. Thank you for this video. Big love.
I’m glad this resonates with you :) I just wanted to share my story
Same here. Looking back on High School, Middle School, Elementary…relationships…I remember things I did and was like “oh, that makes sense.” Additionally, everyone failed me, including my own parents [caught up in their own shit] I flunked out…after 6 yrs in high school. 😔 it’s a long story …but thanks for this my friend.
"Thanks you watching, if you stick around to the whole video, you probably don't have ADHD."
*laughs in adhd"
You fool. It took me the whole morning to see all this with constantly pausing.
But seriously, thank you for showing how you deal with it and for the tips.
Hahahaha I’d be the same way but probably across days 🤣 and on 2x speed!
Glad you enjoyed it :)
lmao it literally took me 24 hours
So right 😂
Adhd hack: watch this at 1.5 speed.
I did, but 8 minutes in I forgot about it and had it running in the background while I played chess because I could not get myself into my homework.
I hope it was therapeutic for you to talk about your condition and how you're living with it. I can say personally that I learned a lot from this video, and I enjoyed watching it so thank you for making it .
Thank you very much for the kind words 😊, in the process of scripting this and making it it was really enlightening how pervasive it is
Listening to youtube videos like this is actually one of the ways I manage my ADHD! It's a lot easier for me to cook/clean/etc if there's music or a podcast or a youtube video playing to keep me stimulated and block out distractions. Thanks so much for the awesome video!
Glad you enjoy it!
I can't sleep unless I have a RUclips video (with a calming voice) playing. Works anytime of the night. Who knew what I did before RUclips. I'm 51. Have been an Insomniac..... well I have ADHD so that long😁
I am the same way! I had no idea this was an Adhd thing!
Exactly! I took down the Yule Tree, started a load of laundry and made two pour overs while listening!
Same
I hate it when I can’t get things done! Now that I’m diagnosed, at least I know why this has happened all my life!
having to find strategies to get things done is essentially
Your regimented habits around not losing keys, wallet, phone, etc is so helpful for us ADHDers. I'm 43 and was only diagnosed this year. It explains so much 😅 i think girls that are motor mouths and messy and disorganized fly under the radar more. I had to see it in myself first. Now I have point of use stations in my house. I'm still organizing after getting on medication that is actually helping! The feeling of relief is so amazing to know i will have more control going g forward because I know how to trick myself into doing things. I work with my brain instead of against it. Some days (like today) I just didn't get the things done i needed to do. I did a whole host of productive things. Just not what I had planned 😏🤷♀️ but now I don't beat myself up and feel guilty for the lost time. It wasn't lost, I used it in the way that felt right in the moment and that is OKAY! Knowledge is power ✌
yes! just yesterday i didnt get done want i wanted to but i just went with the flow and got a bunch of other stuff done so the net result is productivity, sometimes you gotta just go where the brain will let you!
This video was me almost 100%. Thank you for helping so many of us realize we're not alone in this struggle.
❤️ glad it resonated so strongly with you ❤️
apologies for the delayed response, blame the ADHD 😅️
Really enjoyed this. Giggled often and lovely to relate. I've only discovered in my 50's that I have ADD. You've made it a little bit more fun today. Thank you.
Glad you enjoyed it!
This video was 1:00:29 of me going, holyshit I do that to. Of course not entirely but I was surprised on how much I relate to how you feel. The biggest difference for me is that I still feel like I haven't figured it out. Thank you for making this video. This was a great watch.
You’re so welcome! I’m glad it resonated with you :) none of us have anything figured out xD we’re on a blue marble hurtling through space it’s okay to not have it all figured out 🤣
My adhd is so bad I wouldn’t be able to do a video in any concise way like this.. good job man
it takes a lot of work for me 😅
You describe my whole life in your ADHD videos, never heard someone that have the same struggles with this condition?
glad it resonated ❤️
I have a brother ? (remember those Little Caesar's pizza commercials?)...very similar experiences, so many...taking most of the day to finish this between conference calls....
🤣🍕
If I'm stressing out and things are falling apart one of the things that helps me reset is taking my backpack to clear flat surface even the floor dump everything out and put it back in. Thanks for sharing.
Structure of the video was amazing.
Great tip!
I'm not one to leave comments on videos but I randomly stumbled upon yours. I'm in my 30's and listening to everything you are talking about in your ADHD videos really resonated with me. Things I've been doing my whole life that I thought were normal are normal to me so that I can function. Your route planning quirk is something I do as well that I always thought was normal. Thank you so much for taking the time to make these videos because I too am a developer. The things you are saying/talking about I have verbally said myself word for word. I just didn't understand why I felt the way that I felt. Again thank you so much. I'm excited to start this new journey and implement the things you do in your own life to finally get mine on track.
neurodivergent developers unite!
This resonates with me a lot! I’m in the process of being assessed for adult ADD/ADHD. The clothes tags is such a tell-tale sign of sensory processing issues, I’ve struggled with this my whole life.
Have you tried listening to podcasts or lectures whilst driving? That helps my partner not fall asleep on boring roads.
yeah, driving is one of the few times i can listen to podscasts actually
I was diagnosed this week and listening to you talk about it felt like you were going through exactly what i feel daily. I wish i was diagnosed sooner. At the age of 28 feels like i missed out on a lot of opportunities because I didn't know what was wrong with me
and i felt like 10 years of struggled without medication and finally restarting at 28 was the same feeling :/
I am 27 and diagnosed just one month ago.. I've been struggling for 10 years. The first thing that comes to my mind is losing opportunities like you, but if I never diagnosed it, it would be worse. Stay optimistic and live the moment. What doesn't kill you will make you stronger. I just want to feel the understanding of others but if a person is not ADHD or has a deep interest in a subject it is really hard. I hope you will find people will understand you. I wish there is a community where I can share my feelings and be supported. Like anonymous alcoholics. I never try to explain myself anymore to ignorant people. I hope you can find a community and find a way to change your disadvantages to an advantage. Finding the right doctor is the first step. I want to help others like me so they won't live what I live. Any trouble that we live in will be meaningful if we choose to help others with our experiences. Never look back and understand the thought patterns that ADHD gives to you. What is important is what you do, not the thoughts. You already know what to do. You have the power to believe in yourself. I understand your pain. If we all understand each other's pain there will be none. Choose to live the best life brother.
@@ahmetbarsgunaydn5125 Keep fighting and be strong. I'm in a much better place now as compared to when I wrote this. It will only get better from here for you
I came across this channel thanks to my jumping mind, was looking for something to do with SEO, but RUclips knows I like watching ADHD stuff.. :) Anyway, just wanted to say that this is the most relatable channel I found because you're so genuine and honest about your experiences and I feel that you're reading a book about my life and struggles... got diagnosed at 42, and it has been a real struggle all these years. Finally, I feel like I found a closure and channels like this really helps to understand the condition and it's great to know that I'm not the only one feeling like this... Great Video Keep it up bro, all the best..
what a wonderful comment ❤️
i cant help but be genuine, dont have the effort to be anything else but myself :)
Me: scrolling through the comments for more stimulation as he's talking about how people with ADHD need constant stimulation.
xD
Oh man... so I'm here trying to focus on some freelance work and watching/listening to this video at the same time to help me stay on track. It works most of the time, but every now and then there are moments like this one where I have to stop and write a comment because I relate to these things you said SO much!
The impulsive spending and eating, not being able to focus even on things I want to do, avoiding video games that have no ending and aren't too replayable, and THE DAMN HOBBIES.
I'm taking medication and also trying to practice some CBT skills to help with a lot of the struggles, so thankfully I was able to stop myself from buying a huge weaving loom I saw at a thrift store the other day. I have never really been into these sorts of crafts before (weaving, knitting, etc) but for some reason I looked at that thing and got so freaking excited about making tapestries, out of nowhere. A couple of weeks later I was already thinking about how great it was that I didn't buy it because I knew it'd be just gathering dust in the garage by then (along with the stuff from my other former "hobbies" that I couldn't hold back from buying).
And last week, early morning at work, I suddenly had this AMAZING SHINY IDEA for a project that I felt like starting, and it was crazy how hard it was to focus on work. It's like a part of my brain kept telling me over and over "if you don't do this right now, you're going to forget about it" and there was an insane sense of urgency. It got unbearable so I had to stop and write the ideas down and also send voice messages about it to my sister (bless her) so that I could sort of get them out of my head just enough to actually bring my focus back to work. And some people think ADHD is just an excuse for being lazy or irresponsible - these people have no idea how hard things can be.
Whew, okay. Back to work now. Great video btw!
glad you liked the video! i personally didnt like CBT but if it works for you then im glad!
you have pieced together so many of my struggles in this video. insane!. thank you so much for this laid out video
♥
I am newly diagnosed by ADHD and I am software developer
and really struggling with task completion
thanks for sharing your story
Glad it resonated :)
I so relate Bryan. I never realized I had ADHD until you mentioned hyper-focus. I thought of Attention Deficit as being unable to focus. You nailed it by describing 'the disorder' as attention dysregulation. I fit into much of the constellation of symptoms you describe. I described your video to my wife who commiserates with your girlfriend. She says "It takes a 'special person' to live with at 'special person'." Thank you for this video! Like your coding videos, this video on ADHD will be helpful to many.
glad it resonated so much with you :) blass our patient partners 😅️
This is a really great comment. Go see a psychiatrist, Robert Cline, if you can. A pediatric psychiatrist would also be able to refer you to an expert in the condition. Go explore options for treating it. I am 53 and was diagnosed with ADHD at 5 (i.e. in 1973) on, like, my 3rd day of KINDERGARTEN! Anyway, I treated for a couple of years and then didn't again until I was 35 and it utterly changed my life. Good luck. ❤️
I reckon to prevent further confusion on the name of the disorder, change the name to Attention Dysregulation Hyperactive Disorder. It’s still called ADHD just a different word in it 😂
I completely agree that I need stimulation!!!, on time to be able to study, I had an earphone in one ear with music and in the other I had a podcast and that was the only way I could study
❤️
Everything you have said feels very familiar:) I am getting my assessment in a couple weeks. One point that stood out is the sensory regulation because before watching this point in the vid, I was just out walking and wondering if my sensitivity to anything that even feels slighly annoying (dry hands, lips, sand, trying to sleep with a pillow that isnt mine, cant sleep from even the barest touch against my arm, light, sound, cold feet etc) is connected to ADHD, because I will focus on it until I change it. I travel with my pillow everywhere. My partner doesnt notice or care about any of these things and it just baffels me. Thanks, your vids have been helping:! ps i got through the video but its taken me 3 days haha fun times:)
Sensory issues can be a real paaaaaain. noise is one of my worst ones. noise and temperature
Yes me too on the sensory issues
re: driving -- 45yo male here -- I drive a motorcycle. It keeps me alert, awake, and feeling alive. When I drive a car, though, -- there's not nearly enough stimulation, and I feel the starvation.
i couldnt do motorcycles personally, too much risk and i dont trust other drivers at all >.
I remember watching this when I was first diagnosed with ADHD (Mine was closer to ADD) and relating so hard to it
Decided to rewatch it today after a mental breakdown, and I'm just sitting here crying over how much it hurts to have this, I relate so hard to the point I want to make an essay (video or not) just talking about how I relate so hard to what you're saying (still watching the video haha) and to talk about my story
But a short snippet out of my life is I got held back a grade (grade 13 right now), I would have finished it maybe back in january if I could bring myself to doing it, I took vyvanse up to 60mg and panicked really hard one day and completed almost 3 subjects worth of projects over 3 days, no eating, sleeping or drinking
But now after that, I dropped so hard and now here I am revising my final 2 english projects for the past 2 to 3 weeks just because I can't do it, I know I need to do it and just deal with how uncomfortable it feels but I just can't
I also ended up coming off my meds almost 3 to 4 months now (ADHD, Depression and Anger management) and I don't know anymore, I feel almost the same as I did on the meds except I'm always angry and about to burst (hence why I broke down earlier today), I will say I felt more "whole" when I was on my meds but I know that I still need to develop skills on how to live with ADHD
Anyways, I've completely lost track of what i said in this comment, I'm so so thankful for this video, I will probably continue to scour the internet to try to find more insight into how to live with this thing
good luck with your journey
I could genuinely watch all videos you do on this subject it all ticks one giant box in my head you explain it perfectly I think
im glad!
Omg yes… to almost every single thing. Down to the long stretch of roads in Northern California! (Lived in Chico for 16 years 😛). Can’t possibly express how helpful and grateful I am for you taking the time to share all the details so clearly & vulnerably. You are a special, brilliant, powerful and kind human. Mahalo nui loa friend. 💕 🤙 💕
Just a haole boy trying to vibe 🤣♥️
Bro… we’re twins and I made it through bc rn I’m hyper focused on learning about ADHD and how to help my daughter. I didn’t realize that all of these things I do could be related the ADHD. I actually didn’t think I had any ADHD symptoms at all until I listened to this in my headphones while working lol. I thought it was autism which, as an adult, has no benefit to seek diagnosis other than an explanation for oneself, which I don’t care to have. Could be neither, one or maybe some of both. Interesting.
❤️
Thank you for taking the time to do this.
My pleasure!
Thank you so much for this, Bryan. I think you will help an enormous number of people. Wish I had known this 20 years ago.
♥️
This was excellent! Your honesty and vulnerability are outstanding! Rock on!
Glad you enjoyed it :)
I was diagnosed and started to be aware of ADHD last year. I listen to you while I'm working right now. Everything you said is relatable to me. Thank you for sharing your experience and your thoughts about it to the world. Have a nice day!
Glad it resonated!
i needed this video so i can feel i am not alone. Thank you so much.
my pleasure!
Bro. thank you for making this video. I am forever thankful. you described my day to day life
my pleasure!
Thank you for sharing your journey. For the first time, I understand the world my daughter (17) lives in. Almost every thing you listed in this and your other video is spot on. It’s incredibly helpful.
Glad you found it helpful!
This is very good since I can recognize myself so much. Thanks to you, I can understand my impulsive eating. I had never linked to this condition.
I am very thankful! Great job!
Glad you enjoyed the video!
Thanks for posting Brian! This really helped me identify the symptoms I’ve had all my life but not really thought of because I thought I was just lazy or ineffective. I appreciate you being so honest and it’s helped a lot of people not feel so alone. Keep it up!
Im glad it resonated
Thank you so much for speaking on ADHD. I’ve watched information on many other channels but you’ve covered things that I haven’t heard anywhere else, so thank you very much again!
My pleasure :)
agree.. been looking for a video that talks more concrete adhd manifestations in adults and Bryan did a good job here!
glad you think so :)
Additional problem with cooking: You need to self-organize and multitask a LOT. Break down the steps, measure / wash / cut all ingredients, cook / roast / stir / check / whatever. I can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Cut one ingredient first, don't get distracted while doing it. Then the next. Rinse, repeat. Only when all is prepared, I can think about throwing them into a pan, pot, the oven... if I start doing things in parallel, I will get stressed out immediately and miss some steps, misjudge the time any step will take, forget what the next step is or what step I did last, and so on, and so on... in the end, I can manage to cook a complete meal, but it will take me at least three times longer than every other person. And I will probably have messed something up, did things in the wrong order or improvised something in the process. And after I'm done, I'll be completely stressed out, massively angry with myself and be in severe need of a vacation. It's a very frustrating experience.
Baking (as in: bread, buns...) works better, since it's a much slower-paced and more linear experience ;-)
i can actually multi task pretty well when cooking by managing several things at once, its stimulating to me like a puzzle to manage it all, i struggle with the starting energy of just beginning the entire process of cooking executive dysfunction is my arch nemesis
Awesome video!! Thank you! There's so much I want to say but I'm still working, listened to this while I worked with my hands. You touched on so many points. Love it! I might have to do a video response follow up
glad to hear you enjoyed it so much!
Great Video! I have struggled with ADHD since I was a kid. I was diagnosed when I was 16 and of course I relate to just about eveything you said in this vid. Watched to the end. Keep up the great work!
Thanks a lot for making this video! I'm also a programmer and It's literally touches me in my daily lifestyle behaviour. Keep going Bryan 😊 I would like to learn from your experience about ADHD
Welcome to the club 😎️
Thank you for the video and the follow-on. Fellow coder and CLI enthusiast here, maybe with undiagnosed ADHD. I could really relate to the challenges with driving, among a number of other things you’ve shared in your videos. My strategy for driving is to listen to audiobooks. Maybe give it a try if you haven’t already. I also love to read but I try to avoid books because I’ll attempt to read something like “Cryptonomicon” in one sitting due to hyper focus.
ADHD CLI Devs unite! ✊🏻
I've done podcasts over audio books, but its still the long straight roads that kill me regardless of audio input sadly :/ nothing really helps, sometimes even a body double holding a conversation still isnt enough.
Didnt know you made a whole 1 hr video about your adhd! loved it.. the bit about reading,even when i am in a place like say your mountain cabin,i get lost in my thoughts while reading for half an hours sometimes!! but,that said,i am not an avid reader like you and i am still trying to make it a habit.Also, i watched the whole video to the end even tho i have ADHD..its a secret called watch in 2x speed(sshhh dont tell anyone haha)..have a great day/night bryan!!
haha yes this was my "all in one" video about my ADHD i may make more someday but it wasn't a big direction i wanted to take my channel in but who knows maybe more will come!
as for video speed, i cant watch on anything less than 2x lol i use a chrome extension to often play videos at 2.5 to 3x
I've been procrastinating in watching this video for over a year. Because it's so long. So it's been sat on my 'watch later' list. I even struggle with attention when a video is more than 3.5-3 mins long. But I put this on today and listened while I was doing housework. You did a great job of describing so many things here. I have so many of your symptoms, as well as many others. I was diagnosed mid-2022 and finally felt relieved to have an answer to many of my life's problems to date. As well as being ticked-off that it wasn't picked up as a kid. Anyway, ADHD rambling here. Thanks for the great one-stop-shop video. 🐄
glad you enjoyed it once you got to it :)
i do the same thing with my watch list haha no worries
I was working on some thing while listening lol * Multitasking *
I was diagnosed in fifth grade and was never given shown are pushed to learn any tools to help so I’m starting this journey now. Thank you for guiding the way.
Same dude. Trying to "start" later in life is annoying.
I'm glad anything i can show you could be helpful
This video speaks to me so hard!! Thanks for making it!
♥️♥️♥️
First of all, thanks for your videos on ADHD. Since our youngest sons diagnosis I've had the strong suspicion that at least 2 of our 3 other kids have the condition as well and that I probably have it too. It explains so much and it is a relief, that there's finaly an explanation for all the little crazy things and some of the more major struggles in my life. And videos like yours help a lot.
There is this one moment in the video where you mention your boss, asking you to stop fidgeting on something and that you have no understanding for her doing that, bc she has ADHD too, so she should know better. I've been struggling realy badly with sensitivity to what I used to call "little noises" for almost all my life. I can remember back to when I was a very young child, that it drove me nuts when people made loud chewing noises or would drink loudly and I would nearly freak out when schoolfriends for example klicked ball pens beside me. Only recently I found out that there was a name for the aggression eating sounds and other noises trigger in me. Misophonia. It's not only that you just don't like certain sounds or noises, misophonia causes nearly uncontrollable, instant, severe aggression. And I found out, that often misophonia is a comorbidity to ADHD. So maybe your boss suffers from misophonia too? I can only tell you from my point of view, but I fidget all the time with things, also klick things, tap fingers, krack knuckles aso. At the same time I just can't stand it, when people do the exact same things near me. I've been aware of this discrepancy for a long time and ever since I try to avoid fidgeting around other people or I ask them if it bothers them (and switch to some other sort of, not so disturbing, fidgeting like wiggling my toes or bouncing my leg). It was through one of these conversations that I found out about misophonia. I asked a person sitting beside me in a train compartement if my eating potatoechips would bother him. He answered, no, chips don't bother me, but you shouldn't be eating an apple. And he told me about misophonia and we spent 2 hours trainride talking about all the funny (and stressful) situations we've been in bc of our condition.
So I just thought, maybe this brings another point of view to your ADHD universe.
very valid point to that story of mine, thank you for sharing!
Thank you Bryan, this is a fantastic video!
Glad you liked it!
Thank you for sharing this, this is very eye opening for me, I appreciate this so much, thank you!
Glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you for sharing with us
Thanks for watching! I had a number of people ask for this video, and wanted just one single video that i can always refer people to, so this is the outcome. :)
I really appreciate you putting this out there, Bryan (my name is Matt). It is literally unbelievable the commonality of experiences we have. For example and in particular, learning about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria in the last couple of months has transformed my understanding of myself. I just can't believe this has finally been identified and is so broadly experienced. It's like learning other people fear the dark, or whatever, but while having always thought I was the only one (and, in that category of feeling alone and alienated because of one's difference, I'd like to just drop this word: gay).
One thing that is starting to become a little more apparent to me is that ADD and ADHD seem to be pretty dramatically different conditions. I think, and I might well be wrong, that many of our major Venn diagram overlapping symptoms are not necessarily experienced by people with ADD. Curious if true and I'd sure like to learn more about that.
Anyway, thanks again for your courage and efforts. They're much appreciated. ❤️
Hey Matt, I'm glad the content resonated :) It can definitely be lonely to be "Otherized" by Neurodivergency, "atypical" sexual orientation, or but there's at least community around these things :)
I think recent literature combined ADD and ADHD into just ADHD with the differentiation being the 3 domains of primary presentation (Inattentive, Hyperactive, Hybrid)
Glad you enjoyed the video 😊️
stayed till the end bc it’s an interest for me and it kept me stimulated while driving
Glad I could help :)
My man, thank you so much! This made me and especially my partner understand me so much better.
One remark though: you forgot to add the channels you referred to in the outro 😉
glad you found it helpful!
Very informative and helpful. Thanks!
Glad you enjoyed it!
Thanks for this awesome video! A suggested fix for your reading problem:
I have a similar issue with screening out distractions when I’m trying to read. What works for me is listening to audiobooks whilst walking. The walking is the ‘fidgeting’ and I can focus on the audio material better than written (visual) material.
Re: sensitivity, have you heard of Elain Aron and ‘Highly sensitive people’? She coined the term in the 90s and has written a lot about it, including management strategies.
Finally re: patterns. I wear the same outfit all the time to minimise the effort required to come up with a new outfit. Steve Jobs did this, MJ did this too. It’s like an autopilot dance.
great suggestion! i actually found something that works too because i dont like just listening to audio even if just walking, but if i have the book and listen to the audio book and basically have the book read to me while allowing my eyes to track the words on the page/e-ink then this is enough to keep on engaged as well as i can speed up the audio to match my reading rate and with the eye bouncing issues while reading for us, using a speed reading guide to keep my eyes tracking the words helps a lot as well :)
@@BryanJenks Wow I *never* thought of combining the audio book with the text version! That's a really good idea, thanks. Happy reading 😊
The (wait gimme a second i gotta rewind cause i forgot what i was going to write), the always learning something resonated with me sooooo much- i'm always on youtube learning about anything and everything that interests me in any way in my free time (lol here i am), and also what you said about always needing stimulus when walking- and noticing everything. That's exactly how i describe it to neurotypical people who ask me about it
bingo!
My worst fidget is skin picking, I’m like constantly picking the skin off my fingers without even noticing my thumbs always look like a dogs been chewing on them. When Inwas learning to drive I was having trouble controlling the vehicle and someone had to tell me it was because instead of holding onto the wheel properly I was just picking at my skin without even realizing, bandaids don’t even help cause I’ll just pick at the bandaids until they come off too. Totally relate to your nail biting thing, like zero control over it
lol literally doing it right now, nothing has ever helped the picking, nails are always short and often painful and bleeding 🙃️
I relate so much to almost everything you say. Thanks for sharing.
My pleasure :)
Thanks for sharing and articulating. I found my doppelganger. 90% of presentations are similar. 100% strategies I have evolved to cope. Its a very weird feeling to know that I am not really that weird and that there are others like me.
Adding to what you said. In my thinking - the negative effects of ADD will be felt over time and its social dysfunction. Over time - you lose friends and people who care because of your own behavior, you are not exactly expressive with feelings. And end up becoming misunderstood as person, leading to social isolation, more and more as you get older. So the biggest strategy one need to develop is to cope with loneliness. And to not care much about what others think of you.
Nail on the head, and a lot of this is very difficult when you add in RSD to the mix
Really cool video summarizing your story and experiences! It's really cool to see all the ways we align but also where things diverge. I definitely fell into hyperfocus when watching this at 3 am .-.
I am really not very good at summarizing how exactly adhd impacts my life even though I do notice all of these things so just having such a list is pretty cool
3am hyper focus.... there is a land I know very well!
Glad you enjoyed the video toast :) honestly, just putting it together made me realize how pervasive ADHD is in my life. Very illuminating
Yeah, this is something I realised aswell. At some point when I zoomed out I just felt like "I am ADHD". Of course there are a lot more things that make up a person but the impact ADHD has on you and every part of your life is gigantic.
It's both a blessing and a curse. Another positive I have off of it is that because there are no bounds I think quite freely and creatively. Though ofc sometimes I just shouldn't :p
@@AtomToast that's true! I personally really value hyperfocus because it's easy to get into the flow state BUT only on what I'm interested in lol luckily I code at work lol
Ditto
I stuck around for the whole video and I am ADHD!! I was using my massage pillow and just listening though. Very awesome, thank you 😊
Awesome! Glad you enjoyed it!
Very interesting stories. While I didn't know much about ADHD, I happen to share many of the symptoms you have. Hard to focus things at the same time, short memories, fidgeting, etc.. The abnormalities are obvious and I'm aware as growing up with other people's frowns. The way I see it is I'm just born this way. I can see it may frustrate people the way I felt sometimes, but I don't think I'm disabled. In fact, many symptom can live with it without too much headache. We humans are born to have differences, that's how we evolve.
after using medication for a while and seeing how something so minimal can have such a huge impact like minimizing the backlash of my RSD i have indeed adapted to life with it as it is my normal, but i would still recommend others to try treatment if they are able, can afford it, and the outcomes might be beneficial. I regret not getting back no my medication for 10 years... the poor impulsive decisions i made have costed me in my career and im only now catching up
Thank you so so much for sharing!
You are so welcome!
Thank you for talking openly about your experiences. This video (and the next one you made on ADHD meds) has helped me a lot.
Like you, I use a SSOT tool to get my life in some sort of order, I just use Emacs org-roam instead of Obsidian. Your explanation of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) has totally made me realize I'm not just an occasionally-emotional person :)
❤️
I can relate to a T to everything you said. I was diagnosed 12 years ago with adhd. But I lost my health insurance and havn't been on my Concerta meds for the past 8 . I have managed since then but I am seriously considering going back on my meds since its the only thing that will help me get through college.
im quite happy with the result of starting up again after 10 years myself. Im glad you found this relatable :) sometimes it's nice to have medication available as a tool
I'm un-diagnosed but just watching this i find myself being able to relate to like 95% of what you just described even the shirt tags you mentioned i found myself doing. Might be time to go seek some professional help
good luck!
Good video! Totally agree with the benefits of exercising for ADHD.
:)
I loved watching this. This is me in every way up to route planning and adaptive strategies so for 55 minutes I nodded and thought about who I would want to have watch this but I think people would generally rather question why I'm struggling or adapted differently every time than watch a veritable user manual on me for an hour lol but I am so thankful to you. I talk to god all day and ponder how to make peace- trying to save the world by trying to consider where understanding fails between people. How to get to peace is the mental occupation I'm doing all day- but I map my goals like cleaning house into the story of that and the problem is, then I have a hard time letting go of the burden- and have to ask for help there too. Before I believed I had a universe responding in a way I pondered through seeing coincidence, contemplating physics for possible explanations. I.e. why a future version of myself could help me and not be breaking reality. I was reading books about vectors to understand a pop physics page to deal with this "why not" question until I had disproven the impossibility of a fun idea. Then I could accept the help I thought I received. That was so fun. Sadly I'm only finding out I have ADHD in middle age so well I guess we'll see where I end up because I do have a very cool guided life adventure now of belief. But I'm a leaf in a steam that also has to work at just doing life with many of these things you described and I'm being taught patience. Doh! But also peace. I have to give up my habit of needing more stimulation when I have peace and I'm addicted to the quest. But I'll move through that. Thank you so much For this user manual. You're explaining your struggles and tricks but except for the driving I was one for one for 55 minutes. Amazing and so good feeling. It's hard work this brain
haha im glad my "adhd manual" resonated so deeply with you :) it's a lot of work having to function in a world not designed to accomodate you
@@BryanJenks thank you. This was one of the weirdest comments I've left anywhere. I didn't understand until I saw this video that I have had to adapt needing so much stimulation into a full existential quest. Well I'm here now. Just nice to see what ran me up that road. Thanks again. You're brave and making a difference life by life!
I’m glad you think so ♥️
I'm dyslexic, ADHD, but never medicated. I learned to deal with my condition and learned what worked for me to excel in learning.
congratulations!
Thank you Bryan. I'm going to send this to my wife so that she understands how my head works.
❤️
All proper apologies need to include a statement about how you will not do the thing that caused the issue in the first place, so well done for coming to that instinctively Bryan.
Great video, very informative 👍🏻 I've never been diagnosed or even attempted. Watching this was scary as I'm almost identical in everything you've discussed.
I'm going to contact the Doc about it as it's definitely affecting my personal life (my kid) and work
Best of luck!
For driving, I suggest books on tape. Audible. A compelling mystery or drama. Had a friend who commuted on weekends to home 5 hours away and he used books on tape.
i dont like audiobooks personally, i can barely stand podcasts, i just dont like driving long distances or even leaving my house much lol
Best video ever!! Every minute describes me except that I'm a chef not IT person 👍😊thanx Sooo Much for sharing.
Glad you liked it!
Thank you for this video. I’m currently looking into getting a medical diagnosis at 23 years old and I’m seeing my whole life laid out from your explanations. I found that these symptoms were masked during my childhood I guess as a survival mechanism to not get in trouble. I think I’m also very lucky that I found most subjects in school interesting so I could hyper focus enough to perform well and I was usually forced to do well in school. When I moved out to go to university at 18, my symptoms got massively worse over time to the point now where I’m in grad school and it’s getting debilitating which has led me to do research into ADHD and getting assessed for a diagnosis.
i wish you luck on your diagnosis journey! be prepared to deal with pushback and people making assumptions that you just want drugs, just press on :)
My boyfriend got me a pair of the Bose noise-canceling headphones and I FREAKING LOVE THEM! I wear them all the time, even when I don't need to focus on something. As for "watching" the whole video... it was on 2x speed and I was hyper-focused on something else.
That's awesome! Bose are a god-send. i couldnt live without mine anymore.
Oh man the hands dirty part 😭. Relate to all of this but that one thing. I wash my hands about a 100x a day.
Thank you for making this!
As a software developer, I instantly liked and subscribed because I thought I was the only one who cannot focus on the boring task or even the ones I want to focus on. I love software so much but then it’s impossible for me to get started, ughhhh.
SAAAME. I got so many code projects i want to work on but i cant ever get myself to START working on them again. But projects at work? ✨️H Y P E R F I X A T I O N✨️
I was diagnosed at 8. And I thought it was pretty quirky and such for most of my life. Things like refusing to wear shoes except at work, hyperfocusing on whatever it is I'm consuming.
This year at 27 I've noticed just how drastic and catastrophic my symptoms are in my life. Losing expensive headphones, running out of gas multiple times, losing $500 of somebody else's money 🙃, being a jerk emotionally to those who are close to me.
I've decided (if I can afford it) to go the local health people, and see about trying meds again.
good luck on your journey!
That resonated so much with me, I'm not yet diagnosed but it becomes more and more apparent to me that I'm at least non-neurotypical. Growing up everyone was just assuming I was bored and didn't want to socialize, and when later I was diagnosed with dyslexia and depression then it was just that.
What is funny is that for me driving is the opposite, once I'm behind the wheel I just enter the flow state.
But everything else speaks so much to me I realize I need to get diagnosed because even if it's not as severe as you, I know I tend to minimize my own symptoms and previously everything was just brushed as "I have no self-control"
Also on the hyper-focusing: yes I just have weeks where I do almost nothing and then I do a week of work the last day of the sprint.
lol driving can be either for me. if it's a country road in the mountains with lots of turns and requires active engagement im goooood. if its something like a 200 straight highway through a flat part of a state, then im in danger .__.
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s funny to hear someone almost describing my own life… 😊 And I’m glad you turn it into something positive (mostly). I myself was diagnosed with ADHD (MBD), tourette, and a hint of aspergers when I was 4 years old (I’m soon 37), after discovering my dad committing suicide. Yeah it was a really really hard time growing up, both in terms of school/social interactions and always getting myself into trouble. Thankfully things change a bit when you get older and people are more friendly and kind… and like you mentioned in your video, try to turn your flaws into something positive and use them as “secret power”. My only problem now, I’m pretty much addicted to every fuckin thing… and if I have a passion, I dive ass-deep into it and spend all my money on it 🙃 so yeah… but as a family man with 3 kids (two diagnosed with ADHD) and the same partner for 16 years, I try to help and make my kids become the best version of themselves. Not easy, when I pretty much face myself in every decision they make. I guess life isn’t easy, and not everyone has the best start in life. But, it’s not a fuckin excuse to not accomplish things, and be a strong, positive man. But thanx again for speaking honestly about your life and struggles.
Cheers from Norway 🇳🇴
you're a rock star, keep kicking ass
Og hallo
I just watch 2 video from you and..... oh boy! Its like looking into a mirror.
Taking the same med and everyting. Im glad that im not alone dealing with this. I am a dopamine addict. and its pretty difficult even with med.
Very true, good adhd content! I'm the same have a place for everything, especially important stuff or guaranteed loss. Essential for everything to be in its spot. I travel quite a bit too, so have specific spots in my bags and places in hotel rooms where I keep things. Special spots for everything haha, and little routines I used to cope.
a place for everything and everything in its place
🐄 - Literally the only place my eyes went in your entire description haha
heh heh ;) 🐄
Thanks for explaining my life.
Happy to help LOL
I am surprised I made it through College being un-diagnosed until my late 40's plus survived a job for 20 years dealing with it. Then, due to my mom's death and hating my job plus having an underwater house due to the 2008 Crash. But I finally burned up my shields and coping systems! Plus I have Aspergers too which is why I hated new people to meet and demands forced on me with no input! BOOM, I couldn't deal with it anymore are debilitating depression set in. Lost my job and did some self help and depression improved. Now I am breaking into Software Development coming from Mechanical Engineering and Design. I found my interest in Programming too late in college to change to a CS Major.
I admire your resilience, i myself might also be autistic (trying to get tested) so dual struggles are not unfamilliar to me, welcome to the tech scene as well ;D
I watched your video about getting back on medication recently and I identify with everything you have said to a shocking degree. I am also a programmer but not in industry yet just about to graduate school. I also recently bought noise canceling headphones and I literally always have them with me. Recently I made the decision to get back on meds but I haven’t had medical insurance for awhile I’m not exactly certain how the process goes anymore but wish me luck!
good luck!
When you talked about driving, I also have the same issue. I am also sensitive to light in the sense that I'm automatically sleepy as well so night driving is a nightmare. My parents hate it but I have had to resort to putting Netflix on my phone and putting it where my speedometers are so I can have it in my visual field while driving to keep me interested.
thats an interesting one!