Hey guys, hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts! If you’d like to see if our program would be a good fit for you & what you NEED, be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited). At the end of this masterclass, we will provide you instructions on how to apply for the program, and we will be able to honestly inform you if the program would be a good fit for you, or not! Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! → urlgeni.us/MCEP152DS Download the FREE GUIDE! → relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
@GeoffreySetiawan in Financial debt from Life Style Creep and got layoff 6 months ago in Tech. My savings are dried out and feeling pressure from soon to be Wife. Asking for Advice shift the momentum. What are the actionable steps I should follow and/or video paths I should follow. ? Do you have any videos I should watch on repeat or any readings I should read on repeat?
@@ramblr5900 Have you seen the entire playlist of the "Internal Shifts To Save Your Marriage" yet? ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzve8y0JwtzHhTGFGBjjwbbk And, check out my playlist of success stories so you can learn how to become irreplaceable in your relationship: ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU I have practically an endless amount of free content that I provide to the community. Stay tuned and you will get MORE!
@@GeoffreySetiawan yes I watched part one of your video 2-3 times and I just started your second one. I’m not a psychology person this is so new to me. And out of my wheelhouse.
Thank you G because your free content gave me peace of mind when no one else could. I even tried during the relationship with a therapist, other programs, coaches, books, other videos and nothing helped. I have been watching your videos non-stop for 3 months now because I am in despair after breaking up 4 months ago (we were in a relationship for a year) and it has given me peace in hard times and thank you for that. Also, I'm waiting to collect the first money and hope to enter your program. After the breakup we saw each other for 2 months every week but it's just like you say, I learned the frameworks and there were good signs but she felt I was tether but I have tried to fake it and now I feel like she's completely move away and more distant. She is very beautiful, successful and very social, so she has many options of who she can be with and its killing me. Also, she told me she met someone and that she is texting with some guy, that is very painfully. I would appreciate your answer, she told me that she feels insecure around me, especially when we are in the company of people, that I lose my confidence and she is right because it keeps repeating itself in my life, which I have been aware of for 10 years. That's why I'm going to therapy and all the things I mentioned before but still feeling the same. I want her, but I don't know what to do. You say that frameworks, mindset and internal shifts need to be practiced constantly, so my question is, would it be better for me (even though it's difficult) to start going on dates to practice that.
@@GeoffreySetiawan Thanks for releasing this playlist for free for those not in your program (Just waiting to get in), those are really soft skills which I need to take time to understand and implement. Thank You anyway.
We dated 7 years 3 years in real life and 4 years online due covid (and other issues) we separated and frontiers were closed. Finally this year I told her we can live together. She told me she loves me really deep I was the very best thing that happened to her but she doesn't see a future with me, that better if I should move on. The reason? During the years separated I doubted a lot of the relationship and I never gave anything serious. I told her a few times we should move on. But she was still there really in love... until February of this year. Now on May I told her we should move together. And she told me she still loves me really deeply but not in a romantic way. Does the master can help me to gain her back? She still texts me day by day but she threats me more as a friend than a couple and she told me she can't live without me (online) but she can't live with me. I feel deep inside she is mad at me for not telling her anything serious before. But she is just friendly and sweet getting distance day by day. By the way the videos helped me a lot to maintain her contact because we would have lost communication weeks ago. I know she still have feelings but really buried.
I was not actively looking for this video as it came up on auto after a meditation. Did Geoff’s course 4 years ago and it was a foundational shift for me which continues to this day. As he mentions at 21:05 I now get better when there’s more pressure. Bring it, let’s go…. Thanks Geoff
I've missed the community too. I won't spoil too much about what's happening behind the scenes...all I will say is that I am making some MASSIVE upgrades that I know the community will LOVE. Here's one hint: ruclips.net/channel/UCc_nF3pqsaYZX1WyuEtRR8gcommunity Stay tuned :)
is it "normal" if you do something from the tethered side, but for the purpose to observe, to find/discover "result", and to create the process of untethering from outcome for yourself?
I dont know if its that english isnt my head language but I get really dizzy with it all🤣 wrote alot down and translated it to swedish but I think I need more structure to it.
I commented on the old video with this question if she not answering certain questions is it because she’s trying to protect my feelings still she’ll say it’s not my business
If I am being honest I think the biggest issue I have faced is sticking to stuff and mindsets . I make the shifts and align my thinking with them for a week or so but eventually as life goes by I sort of get complacent and forget about em and eventually end up back in my old ways of thinking since they feel more natural to me . I guess that’s why a community is important as well to keep u committed to stick to this journey. What do you think one can do stay more focused on these processes if we are not in a community
If you cannot join my program's community, then why not engage more in the community here? As for you slipping back, isn't that EXACTLY why we need compelling evidence of our how old way of thinking has FUCKED us up? For more details, watch this video here: ruclips.net/video/xM6skREORRs/видео.html
I have come to the realisation that I have been so tethered but I was telling myself that I wasn't. Right now the weather is pretty bad. She also just told me she is seeing someone and that exposed my lack of change to myself. I said all the things I thought were right but inside I was dying. Then I came back here. This was last week and I am still struggling I guess right now. But what has stood out for me is what Geoff said in an earlier video. That most of us are trying to do the right actions with the wrong emotions. All this to say I now see what the guys in the testimonials (and Geoff) are talking about when they say the most important thing is to first master the internal shifts. Nothing else will matter without that.
We had a conversation today. She told me she didn't want to hear how much I now understand because it's useless. She told me now she is getting her needs met and she sees just how bad our relationship was. She sort of acknowledged that she sees that I am now making efforts to be a better person but that makes her angry because she doesn't understand why I couldn't do that when she needed it from me.
In the video you discussed focusing on the process instead the individual situation. Can you explain the process for practicing the frameworks? What are the frameworks? I’m really struggling with empathy and understanding my partner. It’s lead to alot of misunderstandings
Wow, talk about reading my mind! I am, in fact, working on a video for the Frameworks! You didn't think I would stop here, did you? :) In the meantime, let me know what you're really struggling with understanding about your partner.
@@GeoffreySetiawan right now, I’m struggling to make her feel like I understand her and empathize with her. She says my responses come off as cold. For example she was really upset about a situation that happened with her friend. I didn’t know the right words/expressions to soothe her or validate her emotions. I feel completely lost how to connect with her. But hopefully the next video will help me🙏🏾looking forward to the frameworks.
@@flash12319 Let me highlight something for you... "I’m really struggling with empathy and understanding my partner." "I’m struggling to make her feel like I understand her and empathize with her." If you don't truly FEEL her perspective, then how can she be convinced that you truly understand her in the first place? So, is it the Frameworks you are lacking or is it the Internal Shifts you are lacking? If it's the latter, then check out the previous videos in this series: ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzve8y0JwtzHhTGFGBjjwbbk
Agree and am taking notes on the process to untether...and related, Timing and cadence of communication--is there guidance on how long is OK to not be in communication or how to reach out? Wife does pullbacks and currently is minimal contact with me unless I reach out. Thoughts?
Don't say anything stupid , reframe ur thoughts in a gentle way , or in tough times say I appreciate u but I'm feeling a little upset about this situation let's talk later...or something like that ...then go pray and work on the process...
Man. I don't even know how to thank you! I watched a lot of your videos after I tried a lot of those alpha male/no contact nonsense most others recommend. After trying your methodology, my wife and I are back together after 2 months of total hopelessness.... For context: We were married for 10 years (in total a 14 years relationship) and she was so dead serious about getting divorce after I made for years the same mistakes as most men do, and promised to change a gazillion times. I really owe you big time! You're the real deal and I wish you only the best in life. You really change the life's of people to the better! Please keep up the great work!
Thank you for this. It’s the piece I’ve struggled with the most but I’m getting there. My wife asked for a separation 6 months ago and we’ve stayed in the house together. She wants to divorce (we’ve been married 23 years. We treat each other with respect and kindness but it’s a struggle. As I walk this path and do the work, I’ve told her I will work with her and support her through the process of divorce even though I don’t want that. I’m really struggling with the idea that I’m laying the groundwork for something I 100% do not want.
You're most welcome! After you finish the video, drop me a comment with what blew your mind about the HOW behind Untethering. If you do, then we can have a DEEP discussion about it :)
I feel so lost and I don't know what to do. What do I do if my wife is considering a separation? She says that time apart may allow her to start healing from the trauma I've caused her and our marriage. We've been married for 12 years and we have 3 kids together. Do I move out and give her the space she is asking for? Or do I continue working on myself/marriage under the same roof? I'm not opposed to either option. I just want what's best for her and our kids.
Learning how to identify the mind viruses is a huge step. Thanks for the videos. Partner claims to want to be with this other guy. I have done so much over the last two years to destroy safety and she’s given up. Lately I’ve been trying to force a lot of contact. Try to get her to see that I love her and can change. The more pushy things I do it destroys safety, so I feel caught in a loop. I think it’s a wicked combination of urgency and importance illusion. How do I get proccess wins or map out a daily proccess when partner wants no contact, and feels deadset on moving on to another relationship? Would it be something like “today I will not reach out to partner because I know it will make her happy if I don’t reach out and allow her space” What mind viruses am I falling for ?? What DoD is it when I can’t stop thinking of partner and what shes doing ? How do I treat this overcome this ? I’m not understanding how to do things that are not tethered like give her the space she needs to explore, and still create safety if we are not in contact. Thoughts, anyone ?
Geoffrey... I really don't have the money for the master. But I really really really want to join somehow. Is there a way I can join? I am watching all your videos for some weeks already. But still I really would like to join the master class. I am working my best to follow all your advise but I really can see that the master is really necessary.
Thank you so much for this! I have been watching the first part for a while and I am not even close to experiencially understanding it and I do acknowledge that it takes time to fully understand it. I watched this video to see if I can have some sort of clarity and boy you did not disappoint me. Welcome back, G!
This video is the one that ties all of it together. Needs to be on the RUclips front page. For those watching this now forget all the mini sessions, part one and two of untethering is where it’s at and now it clicks. Sharing this one.
I like these teachings. However, like many of your clients I feel like my situation is unique. I think my exwife has paranoid personality disorder and she has high suspicions against my family. Even if she does come back to me I still have to convince her my family is not out to get her.
My partner had the same issue. So do many of my clients. If you actually watched many o my interviews, you will see this be a recurring theme in many of them. At the end of the day - this is a problem that can be resolved when you learn to create radical safety. But if you think your case is unique, then you are free to do what you wish - just want to state for the record that this seems quite normal self preservation behavior for a relationship that has broken down due to a lack of safety.
Found out wife contacted ex, on paper he’s better. Says she doesn’t know if she wants to be in marriage. In Feb found out she’d been having a 6 month emotional affair with him and we were supposed to work on things. Don’t know how to act day to day.
Here's a preview of exactly what to do: ruclips.net/video/eSiGaKx1Ecg/видео.html If you want to see just how much the program paid off for my clients, who dealt with affairs, then check out this playlist: ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzv8QdaeOSzEQtWfHB2L_IHv
It's time to level up. Learn how to change, mine also said she would rather not be married. Now that I have been working on myself, paper is just paper. Give her what money can't buy. That's trust and protection. It's taking me a year to get my wife back, and she's not fully back. I did everything wrong, men don't change until they are burned down to ash. That's when the Phoenix emerges.
My wife left and my daughter hates me. I’ve been doing all the work. I finally convinced my daughter to come to therapy with me and she said “my sister my mom and I are so done with you because you sound like a therapist. It’s been this way for over a year” I have to relearn how to communicate because doing things right is what seems to have pushed my daughter away. I hear you say “you sound like a therapist” is part of the paradox of change. But they truly believe in my change and they hate it 🤣. So what now?
Look…I don’t particularly like this guy’s personality as portrayed in his responses but this program and what he says are on point. After a year you should not sound like a therapist anymore, it should be natural or you may not love the process; which would prevent you from making it natural. My spouse is communicating with me again thanks to this guy and a self love coach on here. I see my viruses and have had a few friends point out additional ones. Now I catch myself even more. But you gotta forget the outcome you think you need and just focus on you getting better
@@GeoffreySetiawan great video. And process victory for me. It took a couple processes at my job to fully understand being untethered. One day I just got it. It clicked. And while I still have a ways to go for my marriage, I'm embracing the process at this point. Here's what resonated for me, much like the work example I mentioned . It's meeting that middle ground between NEED and WANT. I WANT the outcome, to be reconciled and back with my wife BUT I NEED this master this process first. To the point where I can't get it wrong. Geoffrey, marriage mastery doesn't tell you this. Josh Hudson doesn't tell you this. They come from a logical approach. They give you what to say more than what to do and how. The analogy about the farmer resonated with me too. Look, if you have a cornfield, the harvest is maybe a day. But you've got months of cultivating the crop to do first before you get the harvest. You can't put the cart before the horse. Thank you for this video. I waited for it for a long time. I really wish I could afford your program cause I'd be watching every video like you're telling me the secret of the universe.
What do you do if regardless of your actions you still can feel the lack of respect from your partner? I know that respect is something that is earned so I’m tempted to just keep watching the videos and implementing the internal shifts to the point that it doesn’t matter anymore. But when do you know it’s time to move on?
Given how long safety has been broken between the two of you, how long would you expect your partner to maintain that negative confirmation bias against you DESPITE your changes? If you're thinking about moving on when things are really hard, then how can she TRUST your changes will remain permanent during the highs/lows of all relationships? Here's a video that you'll find relevant: ruclips.net/video/JDwN3pNQ4u8/видео.html
I have a question. My girlfriend of nearly 5 years left me after me being to toxic, blaming her for everything and yelling at her. Not giving her room to express herself etc. She has a big anxiety about not seeing our daughter more than half thhe time and might want to fix our relationship just because of that. Should I take her back? Either way this life changing course will be executed if I get in.
Hmm sounds like you all need to have a deep rooted conversation about you all future and relationship. You need to let her express her self with out being upset or blame her. Once you get upset or shift blame you will break safety with your partner! You all should take things slow! I wish you well!! Follow Geoffrey videos and have a good mindset going into these videos.
Love that attitude! Let me know what REVOLUTIONIZED your understanding about Untethering when you finish the video. If you have questions or comments about it, then let me know! I'll be here to discuss this deeply with you today :)
Watching this tonight. Been applying Gs advice and one other gentleman on here who I found very helpful as well. And these are the before and current results: Situation: 6 months separated, live in separate homes, she slowly put her guard up more and more Two days ago we had a small “discussion”, I understood her but couldn’t just let her call me names either so I clarified my boundaries. It is the first time in these six months and probably the last two years we emotionally connected to where we were both in tears by the calls end. She wanted to schedule another call, but that can wait until we next see one another. My point? These processes, ideas, and communication tactics do work but you have to put in the time and practice practice practice them. Every day. Even when things seem to improve keep practicing it because you never know when you gotta hit that three on the final buzzer
Let me ask you this... What went through your mind when she called you "names"? Did you find what she was saying unreasonable? Given your history with her, would treating her expressions with such a mindset build safety with her? Think of it this way... Imagine your boss decides to dump ALL the work on you, forcing you to work overtime, and not even pay a penny extra. He does this for MONTHS until you call it quits. He eventually makes some changes and asks you to come back to work with him, he even offers better pay and promises no more unpaid overtime. In your curiosity, you tell him that you found him to be a complete ASSHOLE. Now, if he forbade you from calling him an asshole, would you think twice about going back to work with him again?
I mean to be honest this time I was completely unresponsive in the negative and turned it into a positive experience for her by recognizing her concerns and taking ownership. But yea if you ask whether or not I used to engage then absolutely and that was a big part of the problem. Me responding in a feminine frame when I needed to be that masculine bowl for her. Do I blame her? No my brother, I would say I understand where she is coming from. Nevertheless the are still boundaries you have to set as a male on what can be said, think about…if your wife said something about your child. So no I think my response was appropriate, and she did too considering her actually spilling her worries to me.
@@StevoSparta-tt5vu Hmmm - you and I have very different definitions of boundaries, what thriving means, and what creating safety means. I would handle and interpret things very very differently, and many of my clients have dealt with and thrived through the same. But hey, you do you!
@@GeoffreySetiawan So you are saying that safety is not her feeling she can express herself to me and is safe to speak her mind even if it is an insult? Odd, I would like to hear your thoughts on it as what it sounds like is more you "trying" to make a point when I didn't give my definitions on boundaries, thriving or safety anywhere? Somone who says they would do it differently but do not know the scenario are typically those who have an ego. But hey, judging by how judgmental your responses come across I think that is what I am seeing here. Just to humor this, I would say thriving is to find an outcome both parties find agreeable and can gain from. As for definitions on boundaries I suppose they are different. As boundaries are just that. They are not meant to cater to the other party but also not meant impede their progress or make them feel attacked. They are meant for you and to know what you are willing to tolerate within not only your own actions but others actions towards you.
@@StevoSparta-tt5vu For my take on balanced power in relationships, boundaries, thriving nature and safety, feel free to view my videos with those KWs, earlier videos in this series, my client stories, or the podcast I am launching with my wife soon. Like I caution in all my videos, my biggest fear is people making grave misunderstandings of the principles and accidentally creating more harm than good, not only to others but to themselves. I sense some red flags and sense a lot of my principles are being taken far out of their intended context here, and just wanted to plant those flags for you. I want to help, in this case by gently planting those flags for you to see, but if my attempts in helping is seen as me being a judgmental villain, then that's when I get the hint and I stop, as further communication seems to be twisted and bent further negatively e.g. How my intention of helping is twisted and bent as trying to hurt, when if you think about it, I have NOTHING to gain from responding to comments from strangers on the internet, and how me doing this is purely out of an altruistic desire to help. So for now, I have no idea how this comment is being twisted and bent once again, but I sincerely wish you the best and hope you are able to find the bliss, fulfillment and clarity that myself and thousands of my clients have been able to create in our own life & relationship.
This guy is a complete SIMP. Don’t listen to him. You are just wasting your time and money. Focus on being yourself and if your woman cant play her role or part then have some balls and move on. This guy wants you to validate the woman..you will lose everytime
Yes, I like to make my wife feel safe. Stay tuned to my podcast I am launching soon with my wife to see how creating safety allows my wife to blossom in her own feminine. P.S. You do not create safety by being a simp. Creating safety is about being balanced. See my video on power if you are interested. :)
@Wolfmanlji , I had the same toxic mind set as you and it led me to this miserable situation where we broken up with cold hands. Until I come across Geoffrey’s videos, I never heard of `emotional safety’ , I never knew this state of mind exists. Leading a relationship, family,organisation or any group means you are a leader ,NOT a SIMP.Creating emotional safety is an artful skill and process, it’s hard to learn and even harder to practice consistently. I am eagerly waiting to join the program, they haven’t accepted me yet,still standing in the queue because I am convinced that it won’t be wasting of time and money.
Women need to be validated! And if you think otherwise I can tell you’ve never had anything real! It’s clear you’ve never had anything real 🙊 feel for ya on that one ! Also you’re taking away from people’s role in their own situation! Geoffrey specializes in people who have been extremely blind to the facts of what they do to hurt their women OR men. Maybe not always reconciling, but he’s teaching people where they’re wrong! What more do you want ?? It may not apply to everyone, but for the people here who really need it, you could be really doing damage to those people who really need to hear certain advice. comments like these could deter people from receiving the information they need ! Also there is certain life advice in these videos that LITERALLY teaches you to push through pain and thrive. Or do you think this person from humble beginnings is a millionaire by accident? You should be soaking it up !!! You’re doing a huge disservice to those who really need this stuff, like myself, by hating bro. Also you don’t know the damage you could do by being an azz
Try and think about this. What does Geoffrey gain from you being a simp? Does it make sense? I see great results in my life man and I'm still not where I want be yet(PS I will never get there) but hey life is fun. If I can be more at peace with myself and handle negative event in my life with poise and finesse, if I can be anti-fragile and grow with every pressure or challenge life brings (like a Saiyan(Goku) in battle) and get the admiration and respect of my friends and family. If I can understand my own feelings and emotions and use these experiences to deeply paraphrase and understand people around me. I will stop here... can't share some other great things. I can't wait for your podcast Geoffrey. Let me see higher levels to be attained. Thank you for this man! I'm not in the program yet, man I wish I was but 7months of dissecting the RUclips videos over and over again has really helped me. Thank you so much Geoffrey.
Hey guys, hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts!
If you’d like to see if our program would be a good fit for you & what you NEED, be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited).
At the end of this masterclass, we will provide you instructions on how to apply for the program, and we will be able to honestly inform you if the program would be a good fit for you, or not!
Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! → urlgeni.us/MCEP152DS
Download the FREE GUIDE! → relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
@GeoffreySetiawan in Financial debt from Life Style Creep and got layoff 6 months ago in Tech. My savings are dried out and feeling pressure from soon to be Wife. Asking for Advice shift the momentum. What are the actionable steps I should follow and/or video paths I should follow. ? Do you have any videos I should watch on repeat or any readings I should read on repeat?
@@ramblr5900 Have you seen the entire playlist of the "Internal Shifts To Save Your Marriage" yet?
ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzve8y0JwtzHhTGFGBjjwbbk
And, check out my playlist of success stories so you can learn how to become irreplaceable in your relationship:
ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
I have practically an endless amount of free content that I provide to the community. Stay tuned and you will get MORE!
@@GeoffreySetiawan yes I watched part one of your video 2-3 times and I just started your second one. I’m not a psychology person this is so new to me. And out of my wheelhouse.
Thank you G because your free content gave me peace of mind when no one else could. I even tried during the relationship with a therapist, other programs, coaches, books, other videos and nothing helped.
I have been watching your videos non-stop for 3 months now because I am in despair after breaking up 4 months ago (we were in a relationship for a year) and it has given me peace in hard times and thank you for that. Also, I'm waiting to collect the first money and hope to enter your program.
After the breakup we saw each other for 2 months every week but it's just like you say, I learned the frameworks and there were good signs but she felt I was tether but I have tried to fake it and now I feel like she's completely move away and more distant. She is very beautiful, successful and very social, so she has many options of who she can be with and its killing me. Also, she told me she met someone and that she is texting with some guy, that is very painfully.
I would appreciate your answer, she told me that she feels insecure around me, especially when we are in the company of people, that I lose my confidence and she is right because it keeps repeating itself in my life, which I have been aware of for 10 years. That's why I'm going to therapy and all the things I mentioned before but still feeling the same.
I want her, but I don't know what to do. You say that frameworks, mindset and internal shifts need to be practiced constantly, so my question is, would it be better for me (even though it's difficult) to start going on dates to practice that.
@@GeoffreySetiawan Thanks for releasing this playlist for free for those not in your program (Just waiting to get in), those are really soft skills which I need to take time to understand and implement. Thank You anyway.
We dated 7 years 3 years in real life and 4 years online due covid (and other issues) we separated and frontiers were closed. Finally this year I told her we can live together.
She told me she loves me really deep I was the very best thing that happened to her but she doesn't see a future with me, that better if I should move on.
The reason? During the years separated I doubted a lot of the relationship and I never gave anything serious. I told her a few times we should move on. But she was still there really in love... until February of this year. Now on May I told her we should move together. And she told me she still loves me really deeply but not in a romantic way.
Does the master can help me to gain her back?
She still texts me day by day but she threats me more as a friend than a couple and she told me she can't live without me (online) but she can't live with me.
I feel deep inside she is mad at me for not telling her anything serious before. But she is just friendly and sweet getting distance day by day.
By the way the videos helped me a lot to maintain her contact because we would have lost communication weeks ago. I know she still have feelings but really buried.
I was not actively looking for this video as it came up on auto after a meditation. Did Geoff’s course 4 years ago and it was a foundational shift for me which continues to this day. As he mentions at 21:05 I now get better when there’s more pressure. Bring it, let’s go…. Thanks Geoff
We’ve been worried for 3 weeks! We missed you my guyyy!! Thanks for this videooo!
I've missed the community too.
I won't spoil too much about what's happening behind the scenes...all I will say is that I am making some MASSIVE upgrades that I know the community will LOVE.
Here's one hint:
ruclips.net/channel/UCc_nF3pqsaYZX1WyuEtRR8gcommunity
Stay tuned :)
Was waiting for this one with bated breath. You sir are a modern philosopher.
Appreciate the kind words!
What resonated so deeply with you, in this video, that led you to give me such high praise?
Wonderful we need more of this please, for the people who cannot join
is it "normal" if you do something from the tethered side, but for the purpose to observe, to find/discover "result", and to create the process of untethering from outcome for yourself?
Great video. Videos are very helpful for people not in your program.
I dont know if its that english isnt my head language but I get really dizzy with it all🤣 wrote alot down and translated it to swedish but I think I need more structure to it.
What does TTH mean?
Treating the hemorrhage
I commented on the old video with this question if she not answering certain questions is it because she’s trying to protect my feelings still she’ll say it’s not my business
If I am being honest I think the biggest issue I have faced is sticking to stuff and mindsets . I make the shifts and align my thinking with them for a week or so but eventually as life goes by I sort of get complacent and forget about em and eventually end up back in my old ways of thinking since they feel more natural to me . I guess that’s why a community is important as well to keep u committed to stick to this journey. What do you think one can do stay more focused on these processes if we are not in a community
If you cannot join my program's community, then why not engage more in the community here?
As for you slipping back, isn't that EXACTLY why we need compelling evidence of our how old way of thinking has FUCKED us up?
For more details, watch this video here:
ruclips.net/video/xM6skREORRs/видео.html
I have come to the realisation that I have been so tethered but I was telling myself that I wasn't. Right now the weather is pretty bad. She also just told me she is seeing someone and that exposed my lack of change to myself. I said all the things I thought were right but inside I was dying. Then I came back here. This was last week and I am still struggling I guess right now. But what has stood out for me is what Geoff said in an earlier video. That most of us are trying to do the right actions with the wrong emotions.
All this to say I now see what the guys in the testimonials (and Geoff) are talking about when they say the most important thing is to first master the internal shifts. Nothing else will matter without that.
We had a conversation today. She told me she didn't want to hear how much I now understand because it's useless. She told me now she is getting her needs met and she sees just how bad our relationship was.
She sort of acknowledged that she sees that I am now making efforts to be a better person but that makes her angry because she doesn't understand why I couldn't do that when she needed it from me.
In the video you discussed focusing on the process instead the individual situation.
Can you explain the process for practicing the frameworks? What are the frameworks?
I’m really struggling with empathy and understanding my partner. It’s lead to alot of misunderstandings
Wow, talk about reading my mind! I am, in fact, working on a video for the Frameworks!
You didn't think I would stop here, did you? :)
In the meantime, let me know what you're really struggling with understanding about your partner.
@@GeoffreySetiawan right now, I’m struggling to make her feel like I understand her and empathize with her. She says my responses come off as cold.
For example she was really upset about a situation that happened with her friend. I didn’t know the right words/expressions to soothe her or validate her emotions. I feel completely lost how to connect with her.
But hopefully the next video will help me🙏🏾looking forward to the frameworks.
@@flash12319 Let me highlight something for you...
"I’m really struggling with empathy and understanding my partner."
"I’m struggling to make her feel like I understand her and empathize with her."
If you don't truly FEEL her perspective, then how can she be convinced that you truly understand her in the first place?
So, is it the Frameworks you are lacking or is it the Internal Shifts you are lacking?
If it's the latter, then check out the previous videos in this series: ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzve8y0JwtzHhTGFGBjjwbbk
Love from india
Agree and am taking notes on the process to untether...and related, Timing and cadence of communication--is there guidance on how long is OK to not be in communication or how to reach out? Wife does pullbacks and currently is minimal contact with me unless I reach out. Thoughts?
Don't say anything stupid , reframe ur thoughts in a gentle way , or in tough times say I appreciate u but I'm feeling a little upset about this situation let's talk later...or something like that ...then go pray and work on the process...
I fail this a lot and I want intimacy. It guides me to say and do the wrong thing
Man. I don't even know how to thank you! I watched a lot of your videos after I tried a lot of those alpha male/no contact nonsense most others recommend.
After trying your methodology, my wife and I are back together after 2 months of total hopelessness....
For context: We were married for 10 years (in total a 14 years relationship) and she was so dead serious about getting divorce after I made for years the same mistakes as most men do, and promised to change a gazillion times.
I really owe you big time! You're the real deal and I wish you only the best in life.
You really change the life's of people to the better! Please keep up the great work!
Thank you for this. It’s the piece I’ve struggled with the most but I’m getting there. My wife asked for a separation 6 months ago and we’ve stayed in the house together. She wants to divorce (we’ve been married 23 years. We treat each other with respect and kindness but it’s a struggle. As I walk this path and do the work, I’ve told her I will work with her and support her through the process of divorce even though I don’t want that. I’m really struggling with the idea that I’m laying the groundwork for something I 100% do not want.
We all waiting for it thank you so much sir
You're most welcome!
After you finish the video, drop me a comment with what blew your mind about the HOW behind Untethering.
If you do, then we can have a DEEP discussion about it :)
I feel so lost and I don't know what to do. What do I do if my wife is considering a separation? She says that time apart may allow her to start healing from the trauma I've caused her and our marriage. We've been married for 12 years and we have 3 kids together. Do I move out and give her the space she is asking for? Or do I continue working on myself/marriage under the same roof? I'm not opposed to either option. I just want what's best for her and our kids.
Learning how to identify the mind viruses is a huge step. Thanks for the videos.
Partner claims to want to be with this other guy. I have done so much over the last two years to destroy safety and she’s given up.
Lately I’ve been trying to force a lot of contact. Try to get her to see that I love her and can change. The more pushy things I do it destroys safety, so I feel caught in a loop. I think it’s a wicked combination of urgency and importance illusion.
How do I get proccess wins or map out a daily proccess when partner wants no contact, and feels deadset on moving on to another relationship?
Would it be something like “today I will not reach out to partner because I know it will make her happy if I don’t reach out and allow her space”
What mind viruses am I falling for ??
What DoD is it when I can’t stop thinking of partner and what shes doing ? How do I treat this overcome this ?
I’m not understanding how to do things that are not tethered like give her the space she needs to explore, and still create safety if we are not in contact. Thoughts, anyone ?
Geoffrey... I really don't have the money for the master. But I really really really want to join somehow. Is there a way I can join? I am watching all your videos for some weeks already. But still I really would like to join the master class. I am working my best to follow all your advise but I really can see that the master is really necessary.
Thank you so much for this! I have been watching the first part for a while and I am not even close to experiencially understanding it and I do acknowledge that it takes time to fully understand it. I watched this video to see if I can have some sort of clarity and boy you did not disappoint me. Welcome back, G!
This video is the one that ties all of it together. Needs to be on the RUclips front page.
For those watching this now forget all the mini sessions, part one and two of untethering is where it’s at and now it clicks. Sharing this one.
Have not even watched yet, but I am super excited for this week's video,!
I like these teachings. However, like many of your clients I feel like my situation is unique. I think my exwife has paranoid personality disorder and she has high suspicions against my family. Even if she does come back to me I still have to convince her my family is not out to get her.
My partner had the same issue. So do many of my clients. If you actually watched many o my interviews, you will see this be a recurring theme in many of them. At the end of the day - this is a problem that can be resolved when you learn to create radical safety. But if you think your case is unique, then you are free to do what you wish - just want to state for the record that this seems quite normal self preservation behavior for a relationship that has broken down due to a lack of safety.
Found out wife contacted ex, on paper he’s better. Says she doesn’t know if she wants to be in marriage. In Feb found out she’d been having a 6 month emotional affair with him and we were supposed to work on things. Don’t know how to act day to day.
Here's a preview of exactly what to do:
ruclips.net/video/eSiGaKx1Ecg/видео.html
If you want to see just how much the program paid off for my clients, who dealt with affairs, then check out this playlist:
ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzv8QdaeOSzEQtWfHB2L_IHv
It's time to level up. Learn how to change, mine also said she would rather not be married. Now that I have been working on myself, paper is just paper. Give her what money can't buy. That's trust and protection. It's taking me a year to get my wife back, and she's not fully back. I did everything wrong, men don't change until they are burned down to ash. That's when the Phoenix emerges.
My wife left and my daughter hates me. I’ve been doing all the work. I finally convinced my daughter to come to therapy with me and she said “my sister my mom and I are so done with you because you sound like a therapist. It’s been this way for over a year” I have to relearn how to communicate because doing things right is what seems to have pushed my daughter away. I hear you say “you sound like a therapist” is part of the paradox of change. But they truly believe in my change and they hate it 🤣. So what now?
Look…I don’t particularly like this guy’s personality as portrayed in his responses but this program and what he says are on point.
After a year you should not sound like a therapist anymore, it should be natural or you may not love the process; which would prevent you from making it natural. My spouse is communicating with me again thanks to this guy and a self love coach on here. I see my viruses and have had a few friends point out additional ones. Now I catch myself even more.
But you gotta forget the outcome you think you need and just focus on you getting better
Its here!!! Long awaited!!
When you have finished watching it, let me know what resonated with you the MOST!
@@GeoffreySetiawan great video. And process victory for me. It took a couple processes at my job to fully understand being untethered. One day I just got it. It clicked.
And while I still have a ways to go for my marriage, I'm embracing the process at this point.
Here's what resonated for me, much like the work example I mentioned . It's meeting that middle ground between NEED and WANT.
I WANT the outcome, to be reconciled and back with my wife BUT I NEED this master this process first.
To the point where I can't get it wrong. Geoffrey, marriage mastery doesn't tell you this. Josh Hudson doesn't tell you this. They come from a logical approach.
They give you what to say more than what to do and how.
The analogy about the farmer resonated with me too. Look, if you have a cornfield, the harvest is maybe a day. But you've got months of cultivating the crop to do first before you get the harvest. You can't put the cart before the horse.
Thank you for this video. I waited for it for a long time.
I really wish I could afford your program cause I'd be watching every video like you're telling me the secret of the universe.
What do you do if regardless of your actions you still can feel the lack of respect from your partner? I know that respect is something that is earned so I’m tempted to just keep watching the videos and implementing the internal shifts to the point that it doesn’t matter anymore. But when do you know it’s time to move on?
Given how long safety has been broken between the two of you, how long would you expect your partner to maintain that negative confirmation bias against you DESPITE your changes?
If you're thinking about moving on when things are really hard, then how can she TRUST your changes will remain permanent during the highs/lows of all relationships?
Here's a video that you'll find relevant: ruclips.net/video/JDwN3pNQ4u8/видео.html
I have a question. My girlfriend of nearly 5 years left me after me being to toxic, blaming her for everything and yelling at her. Not giving her room to express herself etc. She has a big anxiety about not seeing our daughter more than half thhe time and might want to fix our relationship just because of that. Should I take her back? Either way this life changing course will be executed if I get in.
Hmm sounds like you all need to have a deep rooted conversation about you all future and relationship. You need to let her express her self with out being upset or blame her. Once you get upset or shift blame you will break safety with your partner! You all should take things slow! I wish you well!! Follow Geoffrey videos and have a good mindset going into these videos.
@@imagegotbeats just got in and even way before I realized ALOT pf wrong doings.
Thank you so much ☀️
You're most welcome! What part of the video did you LOVE the most?
Ready to learn!
Love that attitude! Let me know what REVOLUTIONIZED your understanding about Untethering when you finish the video.
If you have questions or comments about it, then let me know! I'll be here to discuss this deeply with you today :)
Watching this tonight. Been applying Gs advice and one other gentleman on here who I found very helpful as well. And these are the before and current results:
Situation: 6 months separated, live in separate homes, she slowly put her guard up more and more
Two days ago we had a small “discussion”, I understood her but couldn’t just let her call me names either so I clarified my boundaries. It is the first time in these six months and probably the last two years we emotionally connected to where we were both in tears by the calls end. She wanted to schedule another call, but that can wait until we next see one another.
My point? These processes, ideas, and communication tactics do work but you have to put in the time and practice practice practice them. Every day. Even when things seem to improve keep practicing it because you never know when you gotta hit that three on the final buzzer
Let me ask you this...
What went through your mind when she called you "names"? Did you find what she was saying unreasonable?
Given your history with her, would treating her expressions with such a mindset build safety with her?
Think of it this way...
Imagine your boss decides to dump ALL the work on you, forcing you to work overtime, and not even pay a penny extra. He does this for MONTHS until you call it quits.
He eventually makes some changes and asks you to come back to work with him, he even offers better pay and promises no more unpaid overtime.
In your curiosity, you tell him that you found him to be a complete ASSHOLE. Now, if he forbade you from calling him an asshole, would you think twice about going back to work with him again?
I mean to be honest this time I was completely unresponsive in the negative and turned it into a positive experience for her by recognizing her concerns and taking ownership.
But yea if you ask whether or not I used to engage then absolutely and that was a big part of the problem. Me responding in a feminine frame when I needed to be that masculine bowl for her.
Do I blame her? No my brother, I would say I understand where she is coming from. Nevertheless the are still boundaries you have to set as a male on what can be said, think about…if your wife said something about your child. So no I think my response was appropriate, and she did too considering her actually spilling her worries to me.
@@StevoSparta-tt5vu Hmmm - you and I have very different definitions of boundaries, what thriving means, and what creating safety means.
I would handle and interpret things very very differently, and many of my clients have dealt with and thrived through the same.
But hey, you do you!
@@GeoffreySetiawan So you are saying that safety is not her feeling she can express herself to me and is safe to speak her mind even if it is an insult? Odd, I would like to hear your thoughts on it as what it sounds like is more you "trying" to make a point when I didn't give my definitions on boundaries, thriving or safety anywhere? Somone who says they would do it differently but do not know the scenario are typically those who have an ego. But hey, judging by how judgmental your responses come across I think that is what I am seeing here.
Just to humor this, I would say thriving is to find an outcome both parties find agreeable and can gain from. As for definitions on boundaries I suppose they are different. As boundaries are just that. They are not meant to cater to the other party but also not meant impede their progress or make them feel attacked. They are meant for you and to know what you are willing to tolerate within not only your own actions but others actions towards you.
@@StevoSparta-tt5vu For my take on balanced power in relationships, boundaries, thriving nature and safety, feel free to view my videos with those KWs, earlier videos in this series, my client stories, or the podcast I am launching with my wife soon.
Like I caution in all my videos, my biggest fear is people making grave misunderstandings of the principles and accidentally creating more harm than good, not only to others but to themselves.
I sense some red flags and sense a lot of my principles are being taken far out of their intended context here, and just wanted to plant those flags for you.
I want to help, in this case by gently planting those flags for you to see, but if my attempts in helping is seen as me being a judgmental villain, then that's when I get the hint and I stop, as further communication seems to be twisted and bent further negatively
e.g. How my intention of helping is twisted and bent as trying to hurt, when if you think about it, I have NOTHING to gain from responding to comments from strangers on the internet, and how me doing this is purely out of an altruistic desire to help.
So for now, I have no idea how this comment is being twisted and bent once again, but I sincerely wish you the best and hope you are able to find the bliss, fulfillment and clarity that myself and thousands of my clients have been able to create in our own life & relationship.
This guy is a complete SIMP. Don’t listen to him. You are just wasting your time and money. Focus on being yourself and if your woman cant play her role or part then have some balls and move on. This guy wants you to validate the woman..you will lose everytime
Yes, I like to make my wife feel safe. Stay tuned to my podcast I am launching soon with my wife to see how creating safety allows my wife to blossom in her own feminine.
P.S. You do not create safety by being a simp. Creating safety is about being balanced. See my video on power if you are interested. :)
@Wolfmanlji , I had the same toxic mind set as you and it led me to this miserable situation where we broken up with cold hands. Until I come across Geoffrey’s videos, I never heard of `emotional safety’ , I never knew this state of mind exists. Leading a relationship, family,organisation or any group means you are a leader ,NOT a SIMP.Creating emotional safety is an artful skill and process, it’s hard to learn and even harder to practice consistently. I am eagerly waiting to join the program, they haven’t accepted me yet,still standing in the queue because I am convinced that it won’t be wasting of time and money.
Women need to be validated! And if you think otherwise I can tell you’ve never had anything real!
It’s clear you’ve never had anything real 🙊 feel for ya on that one !
Also you’re taking away from people’s role in their own situation! Geoffrey specializes in people who have been extremely blind to the facts of what they do to hurt their women OR men. Maybe not always reconciling, but he’s teaching people where they’re wrong! What more do you want ??
It may not apply to everyone, but for the people here who really need it, you could be really doing damage to those people who really need to hear certain advice. comments like these could deter people from receiving the information they need !
Also there is certain life advice in these videos that LITERALLY teaches you to push through pain and thrive. Or do you think this person from humble beginnings is a millionaire by accident? You should be soaking it up !!!
You’re doing a huge disservice to those who really need this stuff, like myself, by hating bro. Also you don’t know the damage you could do by being an azz
Try and think about this. What does Geoffrey gain from you being a simp? Does it make sense?
I see great results in my life man and I'm still not where I want be yet(PS I will never get there) but hey life is fun.
If I can be more at peace with myself and handle negative event in my life with poise and finesse, if I can be anti-fragile and grow with every pressure or challenge life brings (like a Saiyan(Goku) in battle) and get the admiration and respect of my friends and family.
If I can understand my own feelings and emotions and use these experiences to deeply paraphrase and understand people around me.
I will stop here... can't share some other great things.
I can't wait for your podcast Geoffrey. Let me see higher levels to be attained. Thank you for this man!
I'm not in the program yet, man I wish I was but 7months of dissecting the RUclips videos over and over again has really helped me.
Thank you so much Geoffrey.
I honestly think Geoffrey gives great advice. At least the one I folllowed worked great on me and my partner.