Digital Exclusives: "Taking Care of Business, Losing in Love" | Iyanla: Fix My Life | OWN
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- Опубликовано: 1 май 2021
- Here are the scenes from the latest episode of "Iyanla: Fix My Life" that didn't make the final cut.
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About Iyanla: Fix My Life:
In the popular self-help series, “Iyanla: Fix My Life”, bestselling author, spiritual life coach and television host Iyanla Vanzant goes behind closed doors to help people whose relationships and lives have broken down.
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Digital Exclusives: "Taking Care of Business, Losing in Love" | Iyanla: Fix My Life | OWN
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Really nice to see Iyanla working with people who actually appreciate her and treat her respectfully!
Amen to that!!!! Amen!!! 🙏
I wish ppl would stop shaming black women for wanting and requiring more.
💯
There is nothing wrong with wanting more and requiring more, but wanting more of what? No one gets everything they want. You have to make sacrifices. I know plenty of women who work a lot and make great money but then complain they can't find a man. You have to make sacrifices. You aren't going to find someone and have a healthy relationship while also trying to work 80 hours a week.
Black women shame themselves when they deny their femininity and embrace masculinity while attempting to require more power, money and opulence. True happiness and peace comes when a person embraces God’s purpose for us while realizing that we all need each other. We all need to remain humble, accountable while holding onto and building upon our integrity...
Its Kevin Samuels fault....is that thats bigot name🤔🤔🤔
@@Represent1 I think the issue is deeper than what men see on the surface. Men just see it as women choosing to be masculine and I don’t think that’s the case.
Don’t fight her, love her. That is golden.
“People set it up, so you don’t tell them the truth.”
She said it as if we are the exception. We all are “people.” Everybody does this. We all live in delusion and denial and tell ourselves lies because we all can’t handle the truth.
A lot of people fall into that. I've gotten so much flack about being honest and you know what I don't care. I don't respect a person who isn't honest with me. Yeah it may sting sometimes and sometimes you know you need to make adjustments. So get past the ego and make the adjustments.
@@noble604 💙
“Your pain needs a witness”
I never thought about it like that
Damn
I am with a man because of who I am and who he is, and how that interplays. Not because of what a man can do for me🗣 PREACH!!!!
I felt that deep in my soul!
I love Iyanla but she's single. So that may be why. It's okay that she's single but just saying.
The problem is we are in a time when men are not with women for who they are but what the woman can do for them. It's sad.
As lovely as that sounds - if that man couldn’t do anything for you, you wouldn’t be with him. Who he is determines what he does or in fact doesn’t do for you
@S Vb Exactly!!!!!!!!
can i just say how BEAUTIFUL IT IS to see black women in a space where they’re uplifting each other and radiating positivity 🥰🥰🥰
This is the kind of conversation people like Kevin Samuels would hate women to have. Iyanla is a blessing to womanhood! This high value man nonsense is just not truth! Iyanla was giving some truths
Yup!
Period sis
She’s for black woman and they say he’s for the black MAN. To teach them their truth 🤔
I agree with you...this is a productive way to help women....she was honest with them and loving....human beings require both.
Often times he mentions her in a positive way so your comment doesn’t lean on the truth and Kevin isn’t a therapist he’s an image consultant 2 different things
This was a great episode and an amazing experience! I asked my girlfriend's to watch so we can discuss and do some healing together. 💜🙏🏾
Such a great idea to watch with friends
Fan-tastic idea!!
Will do this with my girlfriend
I sent it to 5 woman I know and that I know will get something out of it. 🥰
I can relate to the lady talking about having to protect her mom and having to be perfect because one sibling is soo bad 🤍
I grasped a lot from this video and it allowed me to do a lot of self-reflection. Soul surgery is needed and without it we cannot be the greater version of ourselves and walk into our purpose that God has called us to walk in.
Wow! When Iyanla moves on, can we keep the show going by adding a spin off called Fix My Life Uncut? You can show the scenes and healing sessions that were cut. I learn something new and feel edified by every episode.
Me to.... someone or something in me that she stated. Uncut would be great for those that are watching 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Really going to miss her though ❤️
The lady with the ponytail and gold earrings is so pretty to me 😍 inside and out
Nothing is wrong for wanting a man with more money but you shouldn't disrespect someone based off income. If that woman got ill that man needs to be able to handle the bills and everything for the kids.
I think we should normalize black women wanting a man to be financially stable and able to take care of her. Thats what I'm manifesting.
But she literally said, his finances have nothing to do with you.
@@dw9944 ok and.........If I have my own requirements......doesn't matter what Auntie Iyanls says. If I require financial stability...................thats what I will manifest. Do you see kinda how that works, it's what you settle for. Boundaries, requirements and yes...your own self concept in relation to money
@@dw9944 but men can require us to be independent and have our own ? Then us women ask for it and we are either gold diggers or too high of standards.
@@prettyinink1661 those men are Betas
Thank you
Why are we normalizing Struggle love
Thank you! I’m so tired of people trying to denigrate people’s desire for stability and peace in their relationship standards.
The thing is the average Blackwoman isn’t a “boss lady.” Tv and culture has ingrained in people’s mind this image of this highly successful Blackwoman dealing with some deadbeat Blackman. Blackwomen make about 64c on average to a whiiteman’s dollar (and asiian men are the highest wage earners which is another story) but the point is most Blackwomen aren’t out here swimming in money. There are many men making the same/in the same bracket. It’s that money isn’t the issue.
@@noble604 I didn't know this about Asian men
@@noble604 I agree money isnt always the issue in struggle love. People always think struggle love is about money thats part of it but its personal issues as well that makes it worse.
I stopped watching and came to see who's feeling like me. Thank you!
A WOMAN IS POWER, TRUTH, INTEGRITY, PATIENCE, LOVE, KINDNESS....
This episode was superb I loved every minute of it and Iyanla went out with a BANG‼️
And I learn something from every show 🙏🏾🙏🏾
The old saying, "It is better to have lost in love than to have never loved at all." At a certain age People have to make sure that their finances are right because if this generation cannot focus on petitions to pass Human laws for necessities of life for their own Kids lives to progress in America and around the World and to stop flooding the streets with violence. This younger generation is not going to help any of their loved ones once their loved ones get older. We have to fight for ourselves now to have a better future. All we keep hearing nowadays is a lot of negative judgment. We need stability, overdue justice, and compensation to live with or without a Partner. Life is not over if a Man or Woman does not appreciate you. Life begins the moment you realize how important you are despite what others may think of you.
Well said
I love this entire statement❤God bless
🙌🏾👍🏿👍🏿
Truth!
I disagree - it’s not all of the younger generation. It depends on culture and how you raise your kids. A lot of these kids you talk about can’t even take care of themselves because they don’t want to go to college and study something worthwhile that will get them a good job. On top of that - they are selfish and don’t even want to have kids of their own - let alone think about taking care of their elderly parents. My African culture will not allow me to abandon the ones who cared for me. Same with a lot of Asian cultures. I will raise my kids the same way.
Omg! That is my mom. My mom has been hustling me for years.
Why are black women the only women shamed for not wanting to deal with struggle love?
Because they’re struggling to love themselves. Not the men. That’s the whole point of why they’re there.
@Wise4Sure think higher of men. I’m a man and here I am learning about what women go through. As long as you’re not settling down with one of those types dudes (or raising one) you shouldn’t worry. It’s a wasted unproductive use of your imagination
Not to be rude , but your comment would paint a picture that black women don’t bring struggle or drama into relationships only the men they’re dating do.
We are shamed for wanting to be single and then shamed for settling. Black women must learn to do what is best for them. I think society has been accustomed to treating us as if we are below. So when we set standards, it's like people think "how dare she think she deserves better than etc." A lot of the time when we say we "don't need a man" what we are really saying is "I am better than my options, and I refuse to settle for less than what I KNOW I deserve."
Me all through my twenties. I never got played, because I refuse to accept anything. I refuse to give my body, my dignity and heart to those who don't know my value.
As a Black woman, I don't care whether the man in my life makes less than me or the opposite. It all depends on the career path each partner takes. As long as we are a team working together I'm Cool! Life's way too short to sweat stuff. So much real stuff going on out here. I just wanna love the Heck outta my man and live out all of my days with him!
You are reading my mind. We as black women keep falling for the same mess. We take men with money then we are expected to take all the B.S. that comes with that. I make more than my man, but what I require from him, he steps up and steps into. He gets happy when I come home and tells him about my day. And I love when he talks about the kids in his class. I love seeing his passion for teaching. We need to stop worrying about societal norms and worry about being whole.
@@marytaite3109 Exactly! Well stated SiS! Just keep doing what you are doing and continue love each other
whole- heartedly. The universe will work out the rest!
Tracy💞____such a powerful woman and knows what she wants!!!!
And when you let your guard down a little it gets broken and reflects back on all the things you'd seen on down from childhood 💔
Stay strong sista💞
Yess she was on Love and hip hop going through a lot, I'm glad she has grown and found herself!! PROOF that it can be done if we do the work😇
Is that Tahiry from love and hip hop
*The universe doesn't provide any thing but the planets and stars. Only God provides love, peace, joy and happiness. Must have relationship with God first then everything else will come into play. Oh and God created the universe.*
Amen
Amen great comment. Know and Trust him
Your opinion
Thank you! People are worshipping the created (the universe) instead of the *Creator*
How i love you Iyanla, you're such a blessing to this world, all the way from Nigeria
This is so good and powerful!! Thank You 🙏🏽 ♥️♥️♥️
A WOMAN IS GOD'S GIFT TO THE WORLD!!!
nah to men
Iyanla no mam. Why do black women have to always be the ones that settle. We deserve a protector and provider too just like the other races of women. That’s the problem, nobody knows their role anymore and this all started from slavery smh. Auntie this ain’t it
Black women are not settling ,they’re getting what they qualify for . Other races of women are not walking around talking about being skrong , independent and not needing a man until they hit a wall , expecting a “good man “ to rescue them from all the bad decisions they made throughout life .. bw literally wait in their late 30s to start getting serious about life while other races of women do not.. nor do they think acting masculine and trying to challenge men is cute either .
@@habituallinestepper3927 Other races of women don't have to, because unlike black women they aren't raised to HAVE TO take care of themselves and work for what they want. They aren't raised to have to fight to survive. They aren't raised listening to music by their men that refer to them in derogatory terms.
@@filmadcamp1512 🎯
@@filmadcamp1512
I must say this is so true, sad but true. We aren’t taught to graduate high school, go to college/get a degree, make something of yourself, find a husband, get married, have a house “ THEN “ have babies. We do it all backwards
We are very limited to what we see, what we are taught.
How many black people have a will to leave their children, power or attorney, land, business .... etc
If you aren’t taught this or even seen this in your family, your own mother then how are you gonna know. Like they said they didn’t see all this growing up, happy home, healthy relationships, money, a home, nice cars.
You can’t blame woman or even our mothers for not knowing what to do to, TEACH us.
@@filmadcamp1512 Your comment makes me sad. I can't relate to this at all. I guess I came from a different generation or something. I don't think all of this sounds like the problem from the men. Sounds like both sides bad poor choices.
I want a man to make more than me. And that provides
Yes! And don't let anyone change your mind! Anything less only ends in more heartbreak for us. Provider woman won't understand this and will talk women who don't know better out of what's right. Don't budge!
Me as well, he don’t have to be a millionaire. Be a good man and provider 😉
this is not directed specifically to you...but I hear this same answer all the time. Yet, when I ask my friends what will they bring to the table in exchange...they suck their teeth. They don't like to be asked this. Everyone has expectations...everyone has to bring something to do the table that makes sense for the other person.
This episode was the absolute best ever!!!!! I learned so much about myself.
I was the one that had to be "perfect", the "co-parent",
Amen ! Many person's at times did not seem to be willing to do the real love work in order to be delivered and then move forward ! Iyanla is a true gift to our generation ! I pray that we will recognize and appreciate ; and receive ! 🙌
Beautiful! This healing work is amazing.
Amazing development advice! Thank You 🤗
The deeper the wound the more control it has over you. Dont fight the ego's need to dominate but love the hurt and pain away. Transmute in order to elevate from the dark night of the soul into a being of light. Shine bright like a diamond. Shalom.
this was just such a beautiful episode, wow wow wow!
I LOVEDDDD this episode
I love this episode, I was in tears. Beautiful ladies. To me Erin looks like Tamar Braxton, Christal resembles Star Jones, Traci resembles the late Bobbi Kristina Brown. Shyneka looks like Shekinah Jo Anderson.
Tears till the end 🥰
I love your show. You give such great advice
I am so sick and tired of selling this struggle love trope to black women and girls. I have a different set of questions. Why aren't these men making more money for the women? I thought this was a man's world. So, the men need to make more money to provide for his family.
I totally agree
They do. Black men make more money than Black women do. It’s just myth and stereotype that has people thinking otherwise. In no race do women outearn men. Blackpeople are no exception.
@@noble604 shes referring to when in the household/marriage, not random single Blk guys walking down the street. Why is it the more educated & hiring non bm are the more the value marriage & marry to build a family, but the opposite exists for BM
N - I’m talking about that, as well. It all starts with the dating choice. If the couple begins with the woman making more, it generally continues that way in the marriage. They stay on the same trajectory and as he increases income for the household, so does she. The choice to date then marry or have children and make a household was made knowing basic financial status of the other person. Iyanla herself said she’s never been with a man who made more. That keeps going throughout the relationship/marriage. Her income grows and so does his (typically) and there continues to be a gap. Decide in dating if this is the way a marriage can be for you both. More than likely that financial dynamic (unless one person is in law, med, grad, etc school whiile dating) is generally not changing that significantly in marriage..
@@noble604 you ain't say nothing but the truth
Thank you mama....I have learnt a lot from this video
This was theee best episode
Thx U Iyanla for better explaining this to her. Be careful who u dismiss! You be surprise at who comes to yo aid!!!
Iyanla that outfit is FIRE!!!!
As a black single Mom..i will always choose a wealthy man... Meaning he has to be a step ahead of me... Otherwise I don't see the point of having a man...eg if I can pay my bills and takecare of me and my child right now...why would I add me a grown broke man in the name love..? I don't get it
I can relate so much !
@5:05 *Usually the people you deem defective are the Main Ones That can see your defect.* Seen it too often in court and with social service visits. 🥴
Such a good episode. The universe provides what is needed at different intervals of your life. What your soul has been asking for and this recommendation was on time. The important part is to pay attention to the answer and dig deep. Don't get distracted... immediately sit still and and ask what has been revealed from the emotions evoked from this powerful episode!
Preach sister. Preach.
I don't normalize struggle love . simply because they later start to have resentment ..everything is ok in the beginning but the truth is it always ends in problems .he has to make more for the sake of leadership masculinity and his own ego ... especially if you are a highly competitive and ""about your money type of lady'' .there is a certain kind of disgust that starts to turn your stomach when he can't pay the bills.and am not saying I can't respect a man ethically because he makes less....but there is something about a man that makes more money ( even if he ain't six figure)..
Preach sissy...you are taking words right out of my mouth
Love Iyanla! 💕💕💕
Iyanla is the truth!
A lot of you are confused...a men doesn’t need to make more to take care of you and pay the bills.
I desire equality. My mom and dad both worked and made the same amount of dollars.
FYI: My mother and father both cooked and did household chores. It wasn't about a man should do this and woman should do that. And they both took out the trash. My mother was a handy woman like my dad. My dad and mom stressed that they didn't want their daughter's to be "damsels in distress". So yes I know how to change a tire and know how to do things that are viewed manly.
@@DanaeLaurenTolbert1 did your dad help with chores as well?
@S Vb This is where I think the problem lies. Who are we to say that's what "equality" looks like for that marriage. I'm not trying to answer for her...I'm saying this because this question pops up a lot in general. Some women prefer to be the ones who do the cooking and cleaning. It has nothing to do with that he doesn't want to. If they both agreed that's what she was going to do ...then there are no problems. I feel that way about any marriage - as long as the two people in that marriage agreed to whatever the distribution of household chores are, how bills get paid, (if there are children) how they get reared, ...that's all matters. I have never seen two marriages alike.
@S Vb Yes. My dad is from the south. It was at one point when my mother made more than him but he caught up. We had a balanced, fair household.
@@wilsh Absolutely. My dad and mom both cooked. My father even knows how to do hair because my mother taught him.
I’ve wanted changed within my life but I don’t want to create a fraudulent love life in the end.🙅🏽♂️
And how would that happen if you don’t let it. True to self is always the best medicine
I can only imagine what her grandmother experienced.
I would love for Miss VanZant to teach life coaching classes
Im sick of the generalizations a lot of bw tend to speak on their experience with bm as our experience with bm i am a bw and all of the men i chose to be in relationship with were amazing right down to the bm i married
All the BW out there don’t have experience such as yours, a good BM. I have been with some amazing BM my X husband was until he cheated twice. My last relationship was until his pride wouldn’t let him luv, me the way I deserved.
No not all BM are the same but maybe something you experienced I experienced as well and this is a learning process for BW. We don’t just get hurt by BM, others hurt us as well. I’m a Behavioral Analyst and trust me I’m so into healing my sisters, and allowing them to speak their truth, past and present.
A lot of things we experience is because of our past and the reason we act the way we do or hurt the way we do.
I’m my sisters keeper, I am my sister for real. 🥰🙏🏾 and you deserve a another great BM
these women are beautiful
PREACH MY GOD
I'm still going to operate out of love.....
Thank you friend..., 👍
Why don't you upload the full version of the episode
I I would love for a young lady to teach life coaching classes
I cried like a damn fool during this episode😭
When are BW gonna learn that it’s ok to be average and ok to not be a BOSS. This TV stigma is killing me 🤦🏽♀️💆🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
When black men step up to the plate. I have a bsw degree work in my career but because I am not an entrepreneur my ex stated I wasn't great. But yet he has a degree from a technical college and deliver furniture but I never said I don't want to be with you because of your job.
It's not TV stigma. ALL men have fallen short. So if a woman wants to survive she must have something of her own. Nobody cares more about the human race more than blackwomen yet, we are mistreated, disrespected, ignored, etc. by everyone, even blackmen so we need to work hard and build our own.
U must watch Kevin🤔
@@sorayaleblanc588 Im out of the loop. Who's Kevin?
@@sexychocolate3616 gurl, don't that make you mad? "You have high standards for me, but you working for someone else." It's getting bad! Out of the group of women in my networking group only 4 are with black men. This might become the new epidemic amongst black women. SMH
Lord have mercy God!💥🎊🎉💯🤸🏽♂️💃🏽🧡🔥
Wisdom
What episode was this
Hello Everyone, can somebody tell me where i can find full episodes of fix my life? Thankyou😘😘
Beautiful black women
Tracie was writing fast as hell
6:14. Nice shirt
Just because you think somebody is defected doesn’t mean they can not see your defects! Wow 😮
#3 ........💯
#6 ....💯
Every black female should be watching this! I'm just a male fly on the wall.
Nice video though I lost concentration trying check my bitcoin wallet
I wanted to trade crypto but got confused by the fluctuation in price
I've got this little interest in bitcoin maybe I'll give it a try.
People are ignorant of profitability in bitcoin investment and that has been the major issues limiting their investment
@@simonjoy415 I've been an investor and can tell it changed my life for better😊😊investing in crypto will be the wisest thing to do
@@stonejoe4257 That won't bother you if you trade with a professional like Katherine M. Beckham.
I’m late but I need to say this 😂 what miss iyana is saying be with a man for who he is 😂 we focus to much on the exterior of a person 😂and don’t see their soul love and light ❤
Paris Hilton Oprah Winfrey back chat!!???🤞🤞🤞
Women's personality is finances
Is that the lady from Love and Hip hop? The lady DJ
Yep
This made me almost start hating myself
Sis, please don’t hate yourself. You are love. I said a prayer for you.
My grandpa made $40 a week and then died making 55k a year. Here’s a man working at a steel factory for 40 years. His home was paid off, amazing credit, my gma never wanted for anything. At their 25th anniversary bought her a 3k diamond. Then when he died, she didn’t know he had saved so much & bc he saved in a fund when they first married, that she was a millionaire. We didn’t know. There’s a big diff Btwn being financially stable vs making tons of money. In 2008 when I lived in a $200 apt in the hood making $75k a year… while these traders who looked down on me made 300k+ & had expensive homes- all went bankrupt. I saved my $, built a company & sold it at 33. No one knows how much my hubs and I are worth.
Did the girl in the long ponytail interview shock g long time ago, she looks like it
2:28
It man me
They all need 2 put the forks down
Wow generational curses are real
Not sure what the problem is for us as black women and finding men. We know the numbers so is it this or jus a shortage and lack of character with men anymore. Definitely wouldn’t take Iyanla advice on Christianity. She definitely has her own religion and it’s not the Bible but the counseling skills better than most
The one holding the blonde wig needs RESPECT!
Why is she SO negative...I could not sit around strangers and listen to FOOLISHNESS........
Respect other people's feelings, you don't know their journey.
*What’s the wig doing on the table?* 👀
Word...I want to know too!
This is the other person in you. Such as a representative or shadow, model. We named they and maybe she’s quiet, the shy you, the boss, the genuine woman .... etc
Two personalities of you, how you act and how you portray yourself everyday
Yes deficits
The HATE is real
Hey Oprah how’s your buddies Harvey and ‘John the god’
As quiet as it’s kept.....Iyanla needs therapy her damn self and heal from how her mother treated her cuz it shows in the toxic advice she gives. She most likely CHOSE to get involved with men who didn’t make as much as her because she couldn’t FIND a man who was ready and willing to take care of her.....and now she criticizes black women who don’t want that struggle life. Be careful taking advice from older black women of Iyanlas generation. Some black women don’t want to see other black women have an “easy” life.
Goodnight 🤣dismiss yourself
The unmatched work she's done for our community and this is your comment?
@@kilaa3417 my point !!! Ungrateful
@@kilaa3417 This is why she's walking away lol. It's draining to continue pouring out and receive little appreciation. She's been doing this work diligently for a long time
Iyanla mom died when she was born or very young like 1 or 2 years old
Traci needs to own her responsibility to her own actions. Traci is angry immature and insecure woman
#3 don't agree with iyanla
Iyanla Should connect with Kevin Samuel... Black women need this conversation with other black womens...
This show forever masculinizing BW while babying BM. On average men who make more money & are the providers of you & family treat women better and than the men who don’t. Statistical & historical fact
Where can I find the source for that statistical research? I never heard of money being the motivator for men to treat women better 😅
I agree I don't like how they are pushing the narrative of women being providers. It's not okay
@@malakaimusa1476 it’s the reality for these women. Why are y’all so pressed? Y’all on Oprah network channel. The richest African American women in the world-who’s also is a provider for her household.
@@msawmusic You are the one that is obviously pressed. People can have different opinions that doesn't mean anyone is pressed lol. Ps Oprah sold the network so she doesn't own( pun intended) it. Nobody cares about Oprah and her relationship nothing worth mimicking there.
@@malakaimusa1476 you’re needing a man to take care of you and you’re pressed these women don’t 😅 Regardless who owns this network it’s still called Oprah Winfrey Network and she’s still the richest African American women in the world so that point was moot
Dogs 🐶👂🙉🙉🙅🙅🙅🙅
Thats why, when she said "I don't even date em" guys, only talk to the finest women because one of them will bite, and it would be better than having an average woman who demeans you, and our black women made that happen
That pony tail bi is yuck 🤮 😑 😫