The first place people go to when I mention poly as a possibility is that it's about sexuality, and I am immediately shamed by those who are quick to see it in that light. The foundation for poly, for me anyway, is intimate emotional connection. Even without the sex, there is such a cultural limit to deep emotional connections between friends. I'd love to see that boundary move. Like why aren't we free to hold hands, for example, or go on a camping trip with a special friend, or go out to dinner, just the two of us? Love is love is love is love...
I find it strange as well. Many mono people have multiple partners and transient relationships untill they settle down. Way more than some poly people. It doesn’t matter anyway.
Still loving your videos! For someone like me in a happily monogamous relationship for the last 35 years, I still get so much out of your videos. Keep up the good work! 👏🏼
Physically,the idea appeals. But mentally and emotionally I don’t think I could do it. Both poly AND monogamous relationships take a lot of hard work from both parties. Thank you for not shaming monogamous couples,you showed great respect❤️
Neither my husband nor I want an open relationship. With that said I have learned That most of the issues that you have expressed in this video as stressors or backfires are the same in monogamist relationships. The ideas that you give that can help in poly relationships can also be helpful to monogamist unions. I feel most just close their hearts thus they become unwilling to do the work in order to suceede. Thank you for your videos because they help us all! love you guys!
Anything worth achieving is difficult in my opinion. My husband and I were open when we first met, and then drifted away from others naturally and didn't really think about it again until a few years ago when we made the conscious choice to open our relationship again. There were definitely bumps, but our "more monogamous" styled relationship had bumps too! We saw it as us taking on the challenge together, and never against one another. We are closer than ever and it was well worth the temporary challenge of unknown territory. Thank you for the video I loved it ❤️
I think another way people feel like an open relationship has backfired is that they agree to open the relationship, and then one partner falls in love with another person and then desires to be in a monogamous relationship with that other person.. and the original partner who is being left feels like they regret encouraging that possibility, or like they practically encouraged their partner to leave them.. and perhaps this might have happened regardless, or perhaps it’s revealing a weakness that had already existed in the relationship, or it really did happen just because the other person found an even more resonate relationship and that’s just how things go sometimes… not necessarily the fault of an open relationship, but I think that many people might blame it on that for lack of alternative experience.
This would be my #1 worry. But I ultimately would rather be left than be with a partner who isn’t right for me. However this scenario would hurt the most for me
This situation - having a partner ending our relationship because they found someone that wanted to be monogamous with them - happened to me several times... It often started with my partner starting a relationship with someone who was not into polyamory but was either kinda curious or tolerating my relationship with them. Quite quickly they would end up deciding to focus on that other person. Now I am thinking that a parameter was that those partners were actually not feeling that engaged with polyamory and actually valued more a monogamous relationship. I guess this is life, and I rather have them follow what's best for them. At the same time, it brings up for me the impression that what I offer is not being valued because not the norms of engagement, and the insecurity of being easily and suddenly 'replaced' while for me polyamory rather brings a deep security in recognising the unique singularity of each relationship and the lack of competition... It is a weird space to navigate for me
I asked for an open relationship perhaps too aggressively, I thought things were going well but in any case I said that if things started to go south an she felt uncomfortable after a fairly short trial period we could close the book an go back to normal.. now shes the one who's happy an doesn't wanna go back an is doing the same thing to me I swore I wouldn't do to her. My whole world is in shambles now I feel completely regretful
Love it!!! Thank you. Well said. As someone in a non monogamous relationship this was a much needed video. I see myself having expectations at times and having to remind myself it’s ok to feel certain ways and want certain things but to also let go of these expectations and not hold onto them. We have a unique ship i like to call it. It’s interesting and wild navigating it all and finding out more about myself, mentally and emotionally. I am glad to have this experience in this time. I can say non monogamy isn’t for everyone. I am happy to have things this way. It sure is an adventure. What a wild ride, what a spiritual and eye opening experience. I would say that for me i have been working through much and figuring out where any emotions or insecurities may bee coming from. I care about this being I am able to share time and space with. We have a more free flow ship which is nice and helps us each work on ourselves. Much love and peace 💚😊🌱✨🦋✨🦋🌱😊💚
Ooh that piece Brittany mentioned about the things people get scared of in open relationships being the things that would have killed a mono relationship - YES.
Thank you for this perspective! I wonder if y'all would be open to creating a video focused on how to not feel shame around being poly, given all the societal stigma that surrounds it? Those might not be the perfect words, but for a while I've been wanting to give poly relationships a real shot...but feel almost embarrassed talking to most people about it. As would be expected, I don't have many poly people in my life I can relate with and I always feel like people are somewhat put off when I talk about the idea of trying out polyamory (i.e. an internalized view that it is just a way to justify cheating or something). Also, I have insecurity that when looking to date new people, the "pool" will be so limited since most people seem to just want strictly monogomous relationships. Would much appreciate your perspective and/or any resources on this. Thanks as always for such transparent, authentic sharing 💕
The "simple" answer is that you have to first decide if polyamory is really who you are and how you're hardwired. If it is, and you don't want to be alone the rest of your life, you have to claim that core piece of yourself and live it without apology. There is no currency worth less in this life than the approval of others. Coming out as poly, as with LGBT quickly reveals who in you life really matters and who doesn't. Those who can't support you aren't real friends or loved ones, they're people who have uses for you so long as you perform the role they have in mind for you. You can find plenty of poly support groups these days and they can be great resources to learn more about how it works (and doesn't) for people. The dating pool is more limited than for monogamous folks, but not so limited as you think. More people than ever are deciding that consensual non-monogamy is for them and those who were there all along have become more visible.
This is my first time watching a video of yall in 9 months!!!! Wow Britt, looking good girl! I can def see the beautiful muscle growth, and Conor, I love the longer beard!!!
What Conor said about if you are here you are probably interested in polyamory really hit me. I've been watching so many of your videos on polyamory and so so interested in it. I've never considered myself interested in polyamory before so I'm kind of confused what's happening with my serious interest and appreciation of the polyamorous life. Can't tell if it's because it's fascinating or something I desire.... Hmm
Thanks for asking!! There are two- there's the salt lamp and then the diffuser, which has lights. We will include the links for both below! Salt lamp: amzn.to/3z1VjuM Diffuser: amzn.to/3gfwTql
The first place people go to when I mention poly as a possibility is that it's about sexuality, and I am immediately shamed by those who are quick to see it in that light. The foundation for poly, for me anyway, is intimate emotional connection. Even without the sex, there is such a cultural limit to deep emotional connections between friends. I'd love to see that boundary move. Like why aren't we free to hold hands, for example, or go on a camping trip with a special friend, or go out to dinner, just the two of us? Love is love is love is love...
Love this reflection!
I find it strange as well. Many mono people have multiple partners and transient relationships untill they settle down. Way more than some poly people. It doesn’t matter anyway.
Still loving your videos! For someone like me in a happily monogamous relationship for the last 35 years, I still get so much out of your videos. Keep up the good work! 👏🏼
Physically,the idea appeals.
But mentally and emotionally I don’t think I could do it.
Both poly AND monogamous relationships take a lot of hard work from both parties.
Thank you for not shaming monogamous couples,you showed great respect❤️
Neither my husband nor I want an open relationship. With that said I have learned That most of the issues that you have expressed in this video as stressors or backfires are the same in monogamist relationships. The ideas that you give that can help in poly relationships can also be helpful to monogamist unions. I feel most just close their hearts thus they become unwilling to do the work in order to suceede. Thank you for your videos because they help us all! love you guys!
Anything worth achieving is difficult in my opinion. My husband and I were open when we first met, and then drifted away from others naturally and didn't really think about it again until a few years ago when we made the conscious choice to open our relationship again. There were definitely bumps, but our "more monogamous" styled relationship had bumps too! We saw it as us taking on the challenge together, and never against one another. We are closer than ever and it was well worth the temporary challenge of unknown territory. Thank you for the video I loved it ❤️
Loving how you are able to adjust with the ebbs and flows within your relationship! Much love xoxo
Addictedtoelf open relationship huh
Excellent conversation!
Side note: Connor your beard is fierce in this recording!
Thanks! :)
I think another way people feel like an open relationship has backfired is that they agree to open the relationship, and then one partner falls in love with another person and then desires to be in a monogamous relationship with that other person.. and the original partner who is being left feels like they regret encouraging that possibility, or like they practically encouraged their partner to leave them..
and perhaps this might have happened regardless, or perhaps it’s revealing a weakness that had already existed in the relationship, or it really did happen just because the other person found an even more resonate relationship and that’s just how things go sometimes… not necessarily the fault of an open relationship, but I think that many people might blame it on that for lack of alternative experience.
This would be my #1 worry. But I ultimately would rather be left than be with a partner who isn’t right for me. However this scenario would hurt the most for me
This situation - having a partner ending our relationship because they found someone that wanted to be monogamous with them - happened to me several times... It often started with my partner starting a relationship with someone who was not into polyamory but was either kinda curious or tolerating my relationship with them. Quite quickly they would end up deciding to focus on that other person. Now I am thinking that a parameter was that those partners were actually not feeling that engaged with polyamory and actually valued more a monogamous relationship. I guess this is life, and I rather have them follow what's best for them. At the same time, it brings up for me the impression that what I offer is not being valued because not the norms of engagement, and the insecurity of being easily and suddenly 'replaced' while for me polyamory rather brings a deep security in recognising the unique singularity of each relationship and the lack of competition... It is a weird space to navigate for me
I asked for an open relationship perhaps too aggressively, I thought things were going well but in any case I said that if things started to go south an she felt uncomfortable after a fairly short trial period we could close the book an go back to normal.. now shes the one who's happy an doesn't wanna go back an is doing the same thing to me I swore I wouldn't do to her. My whole world is in shambles now I feel completely regretful
Love both of your energy and how much love and humor still exists between you two with all of the life that has happened in between. 🙏❤️
Love it!!! Thank you. Well said. As someone in a non monogamous relationship this was a much needed video. I see myself having expectations at times and having to remind myself it’s ok to feel certain ways and want certain things but to also let go of these expectations and not hold onto them. We have a unique ship i like to call it. It’s interesting and wild navigating it all and finding out more about myself, mentally and emotionally. I am glad to have this experience in this time. I can say non monogamy isn’t for everyone. I am happy to have things this way. It sure is an adventure. What a wild ride, what a spiritual and eye opening experience. I would say that for me i have been working through much and figuring out where any emotions or insecurities may bee coming from. I care about this being I am able to share time and space with. We have a more free flow ship which is nice and helps us each work on ourselves.
Much love and peace
💚😊🌱✨🦋✨🦋🌱😊💚
Aww we love that a uniqueship 🙌💞
Ooh that piece Brittany mentioned about the things people get scared of in open relationships being the things that would have killed a mono relationship - YES.
🙌
I'm sooo grateful for you guys! You are in my life for a several years now. Still enjoy your videos sooo much and learning much. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for being here with us!
Conor's beard game is some of the strongest I've seen
Thank you for this perspective! I wonder if y'all would be open to creating a video focused on how to not feel shame around being poly, given all the societal stigma that surrounds it? Those might not be the perfect words, but for a while I've been wanting to give poly relationships a real shot...but feel almost embarrassed talking to most people about it. As would be expected, I don't have many poly people in my life I can relate with and I always feel like people are somewhat put off when I talk about the idea of trying out polyamory (i.e. an internalized view that it is just a way to justify cheating or something). Also, I have insecurity that when looking to date new people, the "pool" will be so limited since most people seem to just want strictly monogomous relationships. Would much appreciate your perspective and/or any resources on this. Thanks as always for such transparent, authentic sharing 💕
Thanks for this message Serena! We love this question as an idea for a future video topic 💞🙏
i would also love a video like this!!
The "simple" answer is that you have to first decide if polyamory is really who you are and how you're hardwired. If it is, and you don't want to be alone the rest of your life, you have to claim that core piece of yourself and live it without apology. There is no currency worth less in this life than the approval of others. Coming out as poly, as with LGBT quickly reveals who in you life really matters and who doesn't. Those who can't support you aren't real friends or loved ones, they're people who have uses for you so long as you perform the role they have in mind for you.
You can find plenty of poly support groups these days and they can be great resources to learn more about how it works (and doesn't) for people. The dating pool is more limited than for monogamous folks, but not so limited as you think. More people than ever are deciding that consensual non-monogamy is for them and those who were there all along have become more visible.
This is my first time watching a video of yall in 9 months!!!! Wow Britt, looking good girl! I can def see the beautiful muscle growth, and Conor, I love the longer beard!!!
Conor you forgot the other reason to come to your channel......because we love both of you!
Peace
What Conor said about if you are here you are probably interested in polyamory really hit me. I've been watching so many of your videos on polyamory and so so interested in it. I've never considered myself interested in polyamory before so I'm kind of confused what's happening with my serious interest and appreciation of the polyamorous life. Can't tell if it's because it's fascinating or something I desire.... Hmm
Been a while since I last watched your channel, but as always - this was exactly what I needed to hear today! Thank you, sending so much love ❤️
Much love to you ❤
Conor I hadn't watched any of your videos for a while and I clicked this video just because of how awesome your beard is. It's incredibly awesome.
Appreciate you!
I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS VIDEO!!! Thank you so much for this guidance.
You are so welcome!
Am I first? Woohoo! Sending love from H-town!
Muah!
this is next level. love it. thank you for everything
It definitely is scary
I love that, Conor!!
I have so much love for these two human beings ❤️
Your beard grew amazing!
Conner ,I love that Light on the table near you.Where can I find one?
Thanks for asking!! There are two- there's the salt lamp and then the diffuser, which has lights. We will include the links for both below!
Salt lamp: amzn.to/3z1VjuM
Diffuser: amzn.to/3gfwTql
I just have to say Conors beard is beautiful!
Thanks Laura! xoxo
Sending ♡ from KY!😘
Xoxo
Did you delete the videos with Ilya?
We have two channels :) one is for Lifestyle and Family videos! ruclips.net/channel/UCCEyHtoV-ZvunxYDLCjhZvg
First!