How to relate without making it about you

If someone is sharing a personal experience, is it rude to immediately respond with a story of your own? For some it’s a form of relating but for others it can be considered dismissive. Therapists and podcast hosts Vanessa Bennett and Dené Logan relate to opposite sides of the debate and share ways to show support without redirecting the conversation.
Free Therapy is a new series that wants to answer questions, demystify therapy, and give everyone the tools they need to be their best self, friend, partner, and family member.
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[@StygianEmperor]

i hate the “n-d” word so much but i definitely qualify. i do this, and it’s basically just to fill the space since the validating language does not come naturally to me and feels _wrong_ somehow. like i’m not comfortable with the silence and i’d be even less comfortable robotically forcing out “i see this is hard for you.”
i don’t feel _good_ doing the “here’s something similar i’ve been through” thing since it also feels self-centered even as i’m doing it, but basically i feel like its the least awful of three terrible options.

[@ronjaj.addams-ramstedt1023]

It really depends, in my experience. My mother is definitely a one-upper and always has been, launching into long stories about her usually much more glamorous or dramatic experiences. Whereas my husband's gentle and caring responces typically start with "I don’t necessarily fully understand, because the closest thing that happened to me / I know of..." or words to such effect. The difference for me is enormous.

[@suejagielski1871]

You just described a coworker of mine. Employees go to this person and tell them about something that happened to them or a family member and this person always interrupts with a story about them or someone they know. I think that’s being very self-centered.

[@jojustchilling]

Thank you ! I realised I was doing it when a friend of mine just kept doing it and I wondered if I was doing it. Turns out, I was pretty good at it too lmao
Oh wait…

[@pauliewogmastercertifiedli535]

My mother in law fits this to a T.