Signs and Characteristics of Communal Narcissists
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- Опубликовано: 11 июл 2024
- Communal narcissists are often outgoing just like grandiose narcissists. Both have similar traits and motives regarding entitlement and the need for admiration, but employ different behaviours in order to achieve them.
They typically seek out and like to have important or moral roles in society and they experience immense validation from feeling like they are the most virtuous, dedicated, hardest working people involved.
This video looks at some of the common signs and traits of communal narcissism including altruism and virtue signalling, and also looking at what happens when a group of communal narcissists come together in the same thing.
00:00 Intro
01:11 Communal motivations
03:28 Low Level
04:21 The Martyr
05:35 Mission in Life
06:45 Virtue Signalling
08:21 The Superhero
09:42 Narcissistic Groups
Other videos you might find interesting:
Virtue Signalling and Narcissism • What is Virtue Signall...
The Altruistic Narcissist • The Altruistic Narcissist
Is Cancel Culture Vindictive Narcissism? • Is Cancel Culture Vind...
Please use the comment section to suggest any topics you might like me to cover in future videos.
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#communalnarcissist #communalnarcissism #narcissism
I spent about a decade in the non-profit sector and it was crawling with this type of personality. People who were definitely good people because they did good work, and were nightmarishly abusive behind closed doors.
Totally. While listening to this I was thinking about people I've worked with in charitable projects and in the arts. They'll boast about their good deeds in a room full of people who are making the exact same sacrifices that they are.
Most non profits waste tons of money
Many of them are covert abusers of the worst variety and the most dangerous of all.
And have incompetent management who lack true leadership skills.
Community colleges are riddled with toxic management types who have degrees but no experience managing staff.
“Charity begins with an audience”, that describes so many real estate agent’s modus Operandi where I live
Real estate agents, expat ‘communities’, ego tourism, they flock together and ruin a village in no time.
My grandmother showed up in some of these descriptions ... she would do/say things to get family fighting so she could later step in and be the peacemaker. I try to help and fix things because that's what I was conditioned (from a very young age) to become. Now as an older lady (with a grown child of my own) I try to overcome my need to 'people please' but it's still difficult to stand up for my needs.
Thank you so much for these videos, you really help me to get through some rough times.
You've described my father. He was very well known for his goodness. He was in the socialist party and said he was there to help for making a better society, most just, to defend workers and other weak people. He was socially famous. Al home he was hell. I was his favorite scapegoat for his rage attacks, his offensive insults and he beated me until I was at university. I still cry remembering these things because I started with bipolar disorder and he wouldn't talk or look at me. he said I was using a mental illness just to live on him and that I was just an idiot.
at his funeral I was surprised how many people told me about his goodness or the favors he did to lots of people.
I have lived in dissociation and still am in treatment. For most of the time I thought that it was me to blame for his rage attacks and was feeling culpable for the mental illness. it's thank to this channel that I'm understanding. Thanks very much mr Magee for describing so precisely the communal narcissistic so that I could identified him as my father🏆
I can SO RELATE. My dad's quite the same. Admired by hoards as Superintendent of a very posh school district in America. Assh*le to me.
No Contact with him since Oct '22.
I feel SSOOO much better now. He just about killed me from 2000 miles away. Luckily I'm too stubbborn to die and learned about Narcissism just in the nick of time.
Enjoy your Beautiful Narc-Free Life🎉
Learned this from experience,they help when you don't need help, and don't help when you need help, although there can be an exception to force help, such as to prevent self harm.
This happens a lot online - omg!! Virtue points is such a great term to explain what really is the motivation behind the seemingly altruistic protests.
This is an excellent list of the signs/characteristics of the communal narcissist.
Thank you for a very accurate description of communal narcisists. Spot on! They destroy everything they engage in.
Oh man does this hit home. I've volunteered in animal welfare, rescue and placement for many years, with various shelters and farm rescues.
I was just bowled over to discover how many communal narcissists there are in these places! To be fair, many of them do good work, but the price paid by those around them is very ,very high. I ended up ultimately leaving these rescues and shelters because of the toxic personalities of the people in charge. It was the same girl in a different dress, everywhere I volunteered.
Same goes for things like EMS. I was an EMT and there were plenty of people who saved lives, but did it for the attention and admiration, and made those around them just miserable.
You didn't think the use of the term "Rescue" was accidental did you?
@@rawbacon I'm not sure I catch your meaning? "Rescue"is appropriate when removing 60 cats from a hoarder, or trapping an injured feral or taking in a donkey half dead from starvation , so I'm not sure what you mean?
I like doing volunteer work cause I can't really hold down a job. recently thought about doing something more formalised, instead of just things here and there. so am applying for a few ongoing projects. I like plants, and thought monthly or fortnightly working bee's at the local nature centre, or land strip regeneration would be in my ability level.
This video/ your comment has made me rethink what to write on my expression of interest. Just to hopefully sound like less of a... you know what, haha. Hopefully it will help me be more successful in entering some of the programs!
I've known communal narcissists up close and personally and much of what you say rings true. One particular behavior I've noticed is when they show up to help but they're only happy if they're completely in charge. If you tell them that a particular thing they're doing isn't what's actually needed, they get very upset and treat you as if you're being ungrateful. Someone volunteered to help me build a set for a play once and when I pointed out that the wall was in the wrong place, their attitude became very hostile. Should I have kept my mouth shut and let the wall stand in the wrong place? According to him, yes. But that would have screwed all our stage movement up and so I asked him to correct it. He didn't volunteer again and I didn't ask him to. With narcissistic people, you have to live through it and learn. And most importantly, do not ignore what you learn.
Or some people can just nitpick everything so you’re probably one of those annoying people
reminds me of this 'Culture Group' i took my children to... i was from a diffrent culture and at first they welcomed me.. but after a while they turned on me, excluded me and tried to encourage my children to 'run away' from home and join them [forever] .... i had to get a Family Court injunction to stop them. The culture group disbanded not long after the Court got involved.. it was aweful. Thanks fur all you do to try n help us my friend ..
Good for you guys,stay safe 👍👍🇨🇮
It blows my mind that how an offer for help could have multiple facades in perspective of the person who is rendering. Do we carry microscopic lens around these people because I feel they seem invisible and so hard to notice and feels like this world is slowly getting crowded by narcissists. They make me afraid of starting a new relationship, question everything or every person around me. Tbh, I am scared. All I can do is educate myself more and keep that radar for red flags on.
Btw I love all your videos that I watched❤
This video has been very helpful in identifying behaviours of two people in an organisation I’m involved with. Their “help” is overwhelming and just feels “wrong” in fact it actually makes me have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach!
There is no love or humility in their approach. Sickly sweet charm and rictus smiles!
Many thanks
Yes, The Dark Triad: Psychopathy; Machiavellianism and Narcissism.
Anyone who has a model of the Starship Enterprise is alright in my book.
This simply explains to me why it has been so too too impossible for me to find and hold volunteer jobs in churches or society here especially in omaha. The competition is intense and u are require to have upper middle class connections to be able to do so.
Great video 👍🏽 I love the way you talked about virtue signalling and left/right wing crap! It’s been quite obvious to me for a while, so its nice to have my thoughts validated. Take care Darren.
its got nothing to do with left and right politics its about mental illness you ignorance and oblivious right wing slant is embarrassing, trump is a classic narc for eg,
Yeah I personally I don't really care or buy into all the Left Right wing crap. One thing I've noticed about narcissus is that they will try to label you is something you are not.
Pleasently surprised to see this subject matter I have ran into this more than once I have never been able to belong to any group There's always someone has to ruin it Thank you so much
The ones that really get to me are those that use religion as a smoke screen for bad behaviour. It like they feel if they go to church or they have God on their side and can do whatever they want. It’s a catch all excuse. It’s a shame for all those people who do good in the name of faith or get true comfort from their beliefs.
I stopped going to church and FiNALLY really found God and Jesus. It's been so 🥰
This is going to be a bit long but this is a communal narcissist. My husband was 21 years older than me we were married almost 40 years when I broke my hip Teddy had Alzheimer's early on set when he was 68 then he developed cancer. In 2016 a freak accident I broke my hip. I had to move Teddy and myself because I couldn't get him up the three flights of stairs where we lived. I did not want to put him in a nursing home or facility because he was an old Marine and I knew they would have to tie him down or lock him up every night. No one warned me about the man next door. I hired a kid to cut my grass and I was reported to the development manager that my grass was being cut wrong. Suddenly this neighbor tells me he's cutting my grass from now on. I say thank you but no thank you I have somebody on paying to cut the grass. No veterans going to pay to get their grass cut on my watch is his response. Remember Teddy my husband who has Alzheimer's and cancer he's in the house and in 20 minutes they can do a whole lot of things. After 20 minutes of back and forth "thank you but no thank you" I finally and say look if it's going to make you happy cut the grass. That's when I started getting tested. We had a wheelchair ramp for Teddy. To soften the appearance I bought mum's / chrysanthemums. Neighbor tells me get rid of them. They draw pests. I tell him everybody in the neighborhoods got mums. it's fall. I like mums. Suddenly I see the mums are dying as if they're not getting water. I start checking them and realize that the pots they're in have big gashes from the weed wacker that the neighbor is using. I realized immediately I had said no and I got punished. Before I even bought my house I asked are we allowed to have bird feeders in the development "absolutely we can have hummingbird feeders". Narcissistic neighbor tells me get rid of my bird feeders get rid of my hummingbird feeders. I explained "no Teddy likes to watch the birds I like to watch the birds it calms Teddy". Then one day I made a huge mistake of trimming my own grass. Neighbor goes off on a 20-minute tirade screaming at me in my own yard and I just pointed for him to leave my property. Ever since I have been bullied by this jerk. Teddy died in 2019. A 21-year battle with Alzheimer's and a 7 year battle with cancer aged 88. I can't go sit in my yard without the neighbor going out and blasting loud music, saying crude remarks. He's got all my neighbors coming to me telling me he's a wonderful person. How dare I treat him like that. He's got something wrong with him according to them he has a mental disability. He can't help being the way he is. This guy is 52 years old and I'm going to be 71 years old. I have video of him pushing my car with his body when my car is parked in my parking spot. I have video of him back in ng his car up blowing carbon monoxide in my face while I'm trying to dig my car out of the snow. I went to the police to try to discuss it with the them but his family's got money and I was told if they talk to him "he will double down on me.". My advice to people is if your neighbor offers to help you say thank you but no thank you and walk in the door really fast and close it. Don't give him a chance to argue with you and wear you down. Communal narcissists are the most dangerous narcissists there are out there. They are the wolves in sheep's clothing.
SO good Darren, thank you! This type is way overlooked and misunderstood
Thank you Darren, I always learn from your videos. Your description matches a relative of mine very well. I stay far, far away.
Your videos are GREAT, that's all that matters ,well done you 👍👍🇨🇮💯
Thanks for this new video, Darren. I particularly find interesting the last two sections - the superhero and the narcissistic groups. It perfectly explains most of the situations I, by the game of misfortune, found myself in. There are two examples of this I'd like to point out: one online community, and one very closed religious group. Again, it perfectly describes them! Thanks again, and cheers! ✌
"Nothing they ever do is anonymous".
God bless You, sir, Your work is highly appreciated !! Amen
Self serving and valitation and applause
Very interesting!
My mind goes to the Inquisition. People were helped nolens volens to save their souls by confessing to herecy. Being tortured and or burned to death for their own good.
Or the bishop stepfather in Bergmans ”Fanny och Alexander”.
Heros myrtrs and saints are not necessarily healthy people if their motivations are unhealthy and stilted.
Yea you hit the nail on the Head, hidden in plain sight, very pushy people
If you don’t agree with what they are pushing, you are a very bad person!
Thank you so much for this detailed explanation! So helpful ❤️
I love your videos!! Thank you for sharing your insight with us!!
It does remind me of the January 6th event at the Capitol in Washington DC where that leader with the elaborate headdress and bare chest and large sticks or whatever he was holding. It it just had to be more of a display of his prowess.
Thank you, Sir. This explains a lot. Love and light ✨️ 💛
I have had this happen at a volunteer place at church around young children and my former workplace
cool stuff - thanks
This is my mother. She started volunteering and would tell any and everybody about it. Then she would complain about the people and say they act like that’s her job and act like they paying her. Then she would start again at another place and same thing would happen . She stopped completely 5 years ago any very since she would always say she miss volunteer and how much she loved it and gonna go back to do … but never do
Sounds like the people who go to AA 😏
Omg this is soooo accurate
My ex his family were so much this way especially with strangers yet with me they caused me almost 25 yrs of misery i as a result until i fled domestic violence cost me my own identity
What i was also fleeing from was the cult known as the Jehovah's witnesses who are so much this way especially within family circles whilst actually having a non real interest in the local communities around them all damaging and extremely dangerous
Ex-JW here and dv survivor. My late husband’s family were horrible. I realized too late I went straight from one cult into another.
Glad you’re out and healing. 💕
Nice video ^.^
The overt ones are the most brain washing ones,they are also Callous 👍
It's a very informative video. I have seen many on the subject. Please let me know what they can do and are forced to change themselves in the presence of one superior to them, not in a position or power or age but in the presence of one who is exactly like them. thanks
Wow that was a lot of intelligent information I had it on two times the speed and dear God that’s a lot of smart reflective analytical precise revealing information thank you thank you very much wow I might have to listen to this again I probably will… Love and light from the desert 🌵👍🙏❤️🔥🌈🌵
Thank you.
Recently free from 30 years with a communal narcissist. Taken this long to pin down what he is. I was the victim of his abusive side.
Great video! But, sort of makes me self conscious about whether or not I’m one.
I've never been on his priority list, so I dropped him off mine because I've watched him turn himself inside out and upside down for everyone but me for years, then he would come to me to be rewarded for the good things that he would do for these other people. I shut him down on him using me like that and when he attempted to punish me, I refused to give him that power and control over me.
In the face of solid evidence, he would lie to me and say that it never happened, didn't matter if I caught him cheating, called him out for the truly horrible things that he set me up for Or, the games he played badly. They aren't human, they are evil, heartless, monsters that have no soul. But that doesn't necessarily mean that they are smarter than you are.
You calling them inhuman is your own form of narcissism. You think you’re on a pedestal above them. Grow up and stop being a victim. You could leave whenever you wanted.
'The View'
They talk a lot of 💩 but at the end of the day their mantra especially if they don't say it: " what's mine is mine & what's yours is mine".
Thanks for the reminder Darren ❤
Dr Grande mark 2 but good content.
You're videos are phenomenol & empowering! You should be educating employers!
Yup!💯
My husband narc. was like what you've mentioned in this video,I was to blind to see it.hes on disability and I'm retired. I'm desperate to get out. I don't have gas money to get to church.My Catholic faith is important to me.He don't seem to care!
Make some calls to your parish or other calls that can help you.
Please don't isolate. Make time to do nice things for yourself. Your husband has whatever his concerns are, he can make his own calls to become more motivated. .
Hm... possible for a communal narc to have a Messiah or savior complex?! Just curious...hm.. branch davidican...or Jim Jones type....
I'm not against workers' unions in principle, but they often attract these types of people.
This is the type of person that is currently ruining the world with their do-gooderism.
Two words: church groups.
Indeed!
Yes! And not about it
A narcissist with wine and a cracker
Here is a thought, maybe everyone is somewhere on the narcissism spectrum.
I’ve read and listened to a lot of videos on narcissism.A person can display traits and not have NPD.Or display some self absorption here and there and not be NPD.
It’s when there are many traits,displayed consistently,and are destructive and harmful to others and themselves (their brain scans also show a lack of “lighting up with activity” in the area the activity should be present.
It’s amazing to me how many different types of NPD there is….
Is the combination of a Communal and Vulnerable Narcissist plausible?
Yes, most people don't fit into just one description
This pretty much describes the modern Left.
Hosea 4 verse 6
James O’Brien and his LBC listeners.
My mom.
DFM 👍
What are you a communal narcissist for??? What is your cause????
And running a con to hurt me will be prosecuted. If it’s the neighbor across the street and it is. She committed a felony and I’m not going to allow that to slide.
The psychologist across the street is Alicia Moore and she and others participated in trying to kill me. She had access to surveillance inside my property. She was listening to my private conversations which is a felony- they are trying to cover up what they have done.
12:33
you look into the screen and every few seconds your eyes pick a corner, and after that you pick the other corner (both corners are bttm left and bttm right) and then back to the center again...in repeat mode.
Now i know this has nothing to do with the info in your video.....but i am just really curious why that is :)
I hadn't noticed tbh I don't know, but I'm sure there is a reason, though I do have bullet points I look at occasionally if that's it?
Your videos are Great,that's all that matters,well done 👍👍👍
@@DarrenFMagee i am sorry. i just can't help my curiousity. Not trying to attack in any kind of way. so if people misunderstood...i shall bring some balance....You have nice looking eyes, that made me notice it.
I should probably stick to the content instead of being curious about other things.
@@puntvandekomma9498 .. doesnt sound like an attack.. maybe sound a bit like 'transference' .. just a lil bit.. and that is not a bad thing anyway.. sending best vibes ur way .. x
@@puntvandekomma9498 yea🤣🤣🤣🤣
God a group of them 😂
As with the last video I watched of yours. You failed to do anything.
But superficially Describe the narcissist.. The key to understanding the narcissist is that they are always in some degree of fight or flight.. That's why all your descriptions of the inner state of the narcissist are wrong..
This sounds like the CCP in mainland China!
Are you sure you're not just inventing bad guys?