The losing it on himself at the end unable to be vulnerable with his emotions because they will either be dismissed or garner negative reactions is too real.
@@WalterUndergo I think OP meant that it’s hard for men to be emotionally vulnerable because they’re always ignored or people get angry because men aren’t allowed to be “weak”.
@@BlackSheepNara Yes, you deciphered my attempt at communicating the origin of the emotional resonance. I will go further and say it's a problem associated with wanting to be "strong" or "good enough" or just with meeting expectations in general when you feel inadequate and insecure though men do get the brunt of that these days due to pressures coming from all directions from an increasingly early age.
They say that playing music can temporarily reverse the effects of dementia... So when I'm drooling on myself in some miserable corner of some miserable nursing home, put this on and you'll see the orthopedic injury dance
Stages of discovering a will wood song. Stage 1: hey this song is quite banging Stage 2: wow this guy is a really good lyricist, I love how colorful his language is and how he string sentences together. Stage 3: oh....this is some deep and heavy topic. Stage 4: am I....Will Wood?
As an autistic person I REALLY connect to this song, becoming vulnerable with people is especially weird for me since all my life I've been told I'm only useful for what I can be useful for. Now that I'm actually trying to better myself, I have to actually go through the process of learning to love because I never had any meaningful platonic relationships In other words, gotta love it when will wood makes a song basically about you :)
As someone with autism, I've not really had it that bad but I've still had Terrible self esteem because of all the other things wrong with me, just know love isn't something anybody should have to earn. If you are honest about your feelings and open up its terrifying but it helps improve relationships because you'll get closer as they understand you and feel comfortable opening up as well. If they make fun of you for feeling things then they're jerks. If you saw someone making fun of someone crying their heart out then you wouldn't be on their side. That goes for the thoughts in your head too. Don't critique yourself for something you wouldn't say to someone else. We're all doing our human best and we make mistakes so let's forgive each other. If it helps I was able to become better through christ. God loves us all unconditionally, even the worst of us and you aren't the worst. He'd kill his son for you and I probably wouldn't do that for anyone.
this song has fucking slaughtered it way up to the very top of my favorites and i wasnt much of will wood fan prior help i think a demon jusy got released from my body
This is painfully relatable like PAINFULLY relatable, every single sentence, every word and all the emotion explains the place that I’m in right now. Not expecting someone wanting you for you, practically just seen as a sexual object and the dread of feeling extremely lonely due to that. When someone actually shows you affection you just think they want you for your body instead of you. That’s what I got from this, it might not be correct but this is how I’m feeling. Sexual encounters being the only affection that i am able to express. I miss him so much god
ikr, i hold myself back from listening to it on repeat, so i can come back every once in a while and feel all the absolute magnificence of this song. it's such a banger, where are all animatics from artists ???
I was just making food while listening to spotify when this song started playing. I wasn't paying I lot of attention 'til the chorus arrived, and I immediately stopped what I was doing the moment I started to actually pay attention to it. It was so shocking that it was... So accurate to me, that I had to restart the song and actually listen to it and read the lyrics. I am Autistic, and I know perfectly the feeling of not deserving that love others offer to you, specially when you cannot give it back, because you're not enough... You're not human (I can remember so many times when people have asked me why I can't do such simple things and my answer was always "I don't know how to be human, I cannot do the things that mostly every other normal human could do without even paying attention"). Heck, you even end up hurting them more than you give them the love they deserve. I love my family, I love my friends, and I do my best to be better, to find a way to give them what they deserve but I don't know how... Even so, I will keep trying, I will not give up, even if my progress feels too small to even be considered progress, I will keep trying. And the idea of actually bettering, "fixing" myself is all I've got, I wish that could be enough someday... I wish I'm more than enough someday. Edit almost a year later: Oh gosh, that's a lot of likes, i can't believe that so many people actually took the time to read this, thank you so much, it means a lot to me. And if you ever feel the same i did back then (and still feel but in a slightly more optimistic way), just remember that you're not alone. That there is people trying as hard as you are and that we are all in a fight against ourselves, and we have the strenght to win and become better. If you feel like you're not enough, that doesn't mean you're a waste or you shouldn't exist. Maybe you're enough and you don't realize, or maybe you just need to work on yourself to become what you want to be. But never give up, If you try you can and will do it, I know that
Huh, I never thought I'd ever meet another person that also had the same thought of "I'm not even human." It brings me some kind of comfort knowing there's someone that understands the feeling of not feeling "human enough." But you're getting there, don't stop the progress you've made up until this point. I'll be there right beside you in thought, so hold your head high and keep moving forward, keep learning and adapting.
What if you do know how to love, but it's just not how neurotypicals think of love? What if you haven't been able to explore it because you're too busy judging yourself and trying to live up to the standards of people who haven't spent a day in your shoes? You are enough, it's just that some people can't see it.
@@zabbee2323 you may be right in some degree. I spent a lot of that period of my life trying to show them love the way they wanted me to, at least, it happened with my family. I know they love me, but they do not know how hard it is to be me. Still, i consider that i still can do more. I don't want to berate at myself anymore, i don't want to feel incapable again, i've been feeling better, but i still wish i could do more to thank everyone that did so much for me. Even if it's not in a conventional way. For now, i'm trying to show them my love through becoming a better version of myself. I want to show them that everything they did for me will not be repaid through meaningless gifts or empty affection, since it feels like hypocrisy doing so little when they did so much for me. I instead want to show them that i will become not only a better person, but a successful one. I want to show them that i can be everything they trust i can be. Because I know that the thing they want from me the most is to become someone capable of achieving whatever i want, and helping me in that is THEIR way of showing love for me, even if they don't understand that i may have special needs (which is still a bother, i wish i could just do things but oh well, i guess i just have to work harder than any neurotipical, as usual) But yeah, that's where i'm at right now
you shouldn’t have to find a way to give the people you love “what they deserve.” being a genuinely good person and being kind and spending time with the people you love is enough. nobody should be expecting more from you than that.
@@Mduenisch at 1:43 there's a little leitmotif from Will's other song, I / me / myself. It may or may not be intentional but i'm choosing to think that it is intentional because will is an evil genius when it comes to these sorts of things.
"There's only 12 notes to work with; cut me a fucking break" -Will Wood on writing songs that accidentally sound like other songs (But I agree, it is a nice detail even if unintentional :))
I myself am autistic and getting tested for STPD, and I constantly go back to this song or the song "when somebody needs you" also by will wood, It is extraordinarily hard for me to maintain friendships or bonds, not knowing when should I speak at a certain point or thinking if I say this or that it may unsettle the person i'm speaking to. The lyric i can hold your hand but keep you at arms length is pretty relatable too. Whenever I actually do gain a friend, I may come off a bit clingy at times due to being out-casted from my peers . I often slip up sometimes and when I do, usually it's because i say something that comes off as "odd" or if i'm not remaining eye contact with said person. Setting that person off. Making us drift away both really quickly. I try tp repair the relationship but it's like they don't look at me the same, like i'm a alien from outer space or just straight up infantilizing me.
I can relate to an extent. I'm autistic too, but over time I learned how to recognize those social cues and got sort of unnaturally good at it through practice. I hope you can do the same someday. You have my faith in you. ❤
Honestly? I found this through the john arbuckle meme, but i connect with this on a deeper level than just that. As someone with autism and adhd, the line "but i cant pin down what normal people want from foriegn objects, bottom shelf erotic objects like me" and "I just havent learned how to be human as you are yet" and "because i really couldn't tell how deep my footprints went, the vertex of my redemption arc, the searching of that virgin heart, im catatonic in your arms, cryin' 'how did i cause so much harm?'" Is such an amazing allegory for the adhd and autistic condition, just giving the feeling that no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you give, if you have adhd and autism, then youll always not "get" things, but the tone of the song tells me that all of that is ok, becuase you may not ever be truly understood by others, but you're big enough and significant enough to understand yourself truly". This is such an amazing song, i listen to this daily whenever i feel down in the dumps!!!!
Man. I keep putting off checking out new Will songs, and then when I finally listen, they hit so hard in such a painfully beautiful way. I won't get into a whole vent in a youtube comment but this really resonates. That bittersweet instrumentation that sounds simultaneously hopeful and like you've already accepted hopelessness. That cold feeling of isolation deep in your bones as you look into the warmth you want to believe is possible. The feeling that you're desperately wanting to be a part of something your brain keeps telling you deep down you're not good enough to reach. As usual with a Will song, just...wow.
"I'm sorry, I promise, I'm doing my best. I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet" I really relate to that line. As someone who's socially awkward, when I hear, "Humans are a social l species", it makes me feel like I'm failing at being human. But I'm trying. I'm making friends the best I can, and hopefully one day I'll feel normal.
The very last part hit too hard. Truth be told this entire song feels like a story beat for beat of my life and by the end I felt the same as the artist “it has to be all about (my) drama”
I had a really traumatic day yesterday, and this song has cheered me up more than anything else today. Thank you for posting it; this song deserves more recognition.
I have a fiancee I love to death and I have no idea how I'm going to support this relationship. I basically feel like a crossover between a shade, a ghost, and a robot. Removed, detached, apart from. But that crazy woman who doesn't have any idea what she's committing to IS committed to me. So I really feel the vibe of a fucked up person trying to make it work, knowing they're fucking up, and moving on and forgiving the past so they can stay by their beloved's side.
the best advice I can give is to be honest to your fiancée that you feel this way, genuinely. communication is so important to keeping a relationship healthy
This song reads like an android that's figured out how to navigate the basics of human emotions, but is stymied by figuring out 'love' and is just aware enough to be frustrated by this stumbling block and no I'm not calling myself out like this thankyouverymuch!😤
Lotta people talking about how depressed this song makes them. I dunno. It makes me proud. Cause I look back at who I was, and who I am now. And I know I'm better.
The beginning (and throughout the song tbh) really sounds like papa louie’s pizzeria background music and i hate the fact that no one has noticed this.
I was cleaning my room and wasn’t really paying attention to the lyrics at all until like 1:13 and that lyric just stuck in my head I had to stop what I was doing and just listen to the song and oh my god???????? Why does this song hit so hard ??????? I have no idea how will wood managed to pack so much content (and/or trauma lol) into like 5 minutes worth of lyrics I’m actually so shaken right now this song is so powerful. Also yes I did come from the John arbuckle meme lmao I saw that video and added the song to my playlist and it finally came up on shuffle today but I’m so glad it did
I deeply relate to this song because I feel like its about someone who is trying to be better but keeps fucking up in some way, like they want to do better they know they should do better but they just cant.
I wish my friend never met me. As someone (with a few mental conditions however not important) and not being able to act properly from a young age wow this song hurts. The lyrics especially the bridge hit like “i really couldn’t tell how deep my footprints went”, “the vertex of my redemption arc”, “how did i cause so much harm” “apologising for my life and ever entering yours” For the better part of four years i’ve overcome a massive change to myself because of a end of a friendship that caused me to realise how bad of a person i was and how much harm i was causing, (though i am an unrealisable narrator so i cannot tell you if i was as bad as i think i was as i suppressed most of these memorises. I didn’t understand the harm i was causing and maybe if i did i wouldn’t have done the things i did or maybe nothing would have changed as much as i wish, i cannot change the past. Maybe in another universe i wasn’t the way i was and we still could be friends, i truly morn our friendship, he didn’t deserve meeting me. Two years ago i’ve tried focusing on becoming a better person for this friend even if we’ll never meet again and they’ll never know i’ve changed, i just couldn’t live with them having the memory of how i used to be so i did, i tried, and sure i had some really bad lows but i’d say i’m doing pretty well. I still mess up i still don’t know how to properly act and i’m still trying, since i’ve texted this friend again after four years of no contact apologising for my behaviour and all the wrongs explaining on what caused it (which is a whole other story) but how even so it was unjustified. I still remember joking to myself saying “oh well i guess this concludes my redemption arc” but i could never and still really can’t let go how i used to be, i think i’ll forever regret myself and i truly apologise for everyone who met me back then. I still look back and wish i could have apologised more and i don’t think i deserve the forgiveness i was given, but i’m grateful nonetheless. I can only hope the friend will remember me as a different person instead of the one they met. i still fear sometimes that i’m the same person and i think i would have a breakdown if anyone told me so but knowing that i fear this told me i’ve changed. for anyone out there who realise that they have done bad things, it’s not too late to change and maybe no one will realise you have maybe no one will care but it’s better than living with the thought that you are still the same person doming the bad things.
you know those songs where you end up crying so, so fucking hard because this is feels almost exactly what you and your SO are going through and just immediately think "Yeah, I should call him" by the time the song ends? this is one of them. ... fuck.... i should call him..
It's like the male protagonist singing on a small stage in a bar a day before leaving the neighborhood where his lover is, right after a breakup. It's small and looks like a drama queen/king, but it has a certain seriousness to it. Little charm, that's why I like this song.
I listened to this song fully the first playthrough and now I'm against the corner of my room, crying. It hits in a way, the depression, the guilt, the mistakes I've made. Feeling like I can't make meaningful relationships. I've only been able to make three, and two of them are family members, and one is a friend, now someone I'll be with forever, that I'm too lucky to have made. I try, I try so fucking hard to make friends, but my ability is so weak from so long being shut in, thinking no one will like me for me. I ended up feeling an unhealthy obsession for the one I care about most, I've been told. To finally come to terms with that is terrifying, because it was something I had always feared. Just two years ago I thought horribly deeply about ending things off because I hadn't tried enough, done enough to make my mother live happily and stress free, or so I thought. Sometimes I feel like I'll never be good enough no matter how hard I try, and I've been told I never really did try. It hurts, twists deep into my soul, and never lets go. Sometimes, I feel so, so, so broken. Sometimes I feel like I'm crying too much over nothing. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't try to defend myself, when I've done so much wrong. Or my mind endlessly torments me and convinces me into thinking it's all been my fault. It's absolutely miserable. And I always said "sorry" too much... To the point where it feels like a phrase of affection to me. And people have never felt as real as I wanted it to be. And I can't understand them... But maybe someone will end up reading this the full way through, and they'll find it somehow reasonable, and not a neurotic ramble. I wish I could say sorry, even just for typing too much. I guess it's just become a part of who I am, though I try to change it, and though I feel shame for it.
When i first listened to the Album on its release day. This one immediately became a favorite for me. And its staying that way. Such a groovy song with slightly sad lyrics
As an autistic person who has problems with considering others sometimes and is trying his hardest to change, this song hurts me to hear. Alot of times I don’t even know when I’m being aloof, but it ends up creating tension in even my closest relationships. 😢
There’s this perception that the insecure person in the relationship always wants the other person more than they’re wanted. This song explains why that isn’t always true, and how fucking devastating that is. “What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can’t I love them like they deserve? I’m sorry, I promise, I’m doing my best, I just haven’t learned how to be human as you are yet”
i know this isnt what Will was going for, but as an Aro-Ace person who's rushed into relationships thinking id finally felt the "spark" that would make me "normal" and hurt people in the process... jesus does this to me lmao
i, another aroace, relate to this in an EXTREMELY high level. it's good to know that i'm not the only one who saw themselves in the song in that way :')
Will Wood's showed up in my recommended for ages, but I never listened to him until my siblings played some of his music while we were doing dishes. The last time I heard such an accurate portrayal of mental illness in music was the first time I listened to Mother Mother. I really hope wherever this guy is, he's getting better.
I've just discovered this song from a random algorithm drop from a Jon Arbuckle meme, but holy shit i can unironicly groove to this!! We need more depressing disco and funk!!
Possibly one of the best mixes of blessing-and-curse names around. The 'will-that-i-am,' that's fundamentally Nietzschean, and you get handed that as your _personal identifier_ at birth.
@@normanclatcher the number of times I've been doubting myself and somebody says out loud "If there's a Will there's a way" Burnout and over bearing work ethic are my bread and butter. Giving up isn't in the cards.
@@Charnel_Heart My IRL name is 'Andrew,' named indirectly after my maternal grandfather, 'Manley.' ...as you see, because I am now hiding behind the moniker 'Nor-Man,' it's going _well..._ /hj
Feeling like you’re not human yet is something I highly relate to. It feels like something’s gone wrong as I’ve aged, and it’s made me someone I hate. I’m constantly outside of myself with shame for being alive and having to subject others to my company. I feel I have to keep challenging myself in order to reach the level of a functioning human being, but I don’t feel any closer after years of trying. No matter what I do, I’m still a failure of a person. All in all, song’s made me cry a lot and I’m glad it’s put some words to my thoughts.
Currently losing my hyper fixation (which is = to losing identity therefore = potential meltdown) soo listening to every sad / chaotic song to exist 😊🫶
...no, dummy. It relates to *me,* but only because I'm genuinely _tired_ of having to explain this one, _over and over,_ to emotionally-avoidant or unavailable women. Most notably, my mother. _Therapy,_ for *me,* can't be what fixes *_her._*
Jfc I swear this song just manages to find all of my emotional pressure points it and hits them all at once like some kind of ancient martial arts master. Turning me into a sobbing blob at 4 am, while also being so perfect and groovy.
There is something so surreal about this song, a song about a man profusely apologizing to a romantic partner he neglected because he genuinely believed they only wanted him for his body so he emotionally distanced himself. I’ve genuinely never felt so much emotional vulnerability through a song before I can literally feel not only that the singer carried this guilt with him for so long but this feels like one of the first times he’s ever been emotionally vulnerable in front of them because it probably is and he for the most part talks about how sorry he is and how he wants to improve. I love Will wood, hope bro heals.
Will Wood does this thing no one else does, where you feel an emotion no normal human could just describe to someone, and then Will just starts yelling it in your ear and it makes perfect sense.
I love how the comments are exclusively either "I relate to this on a deep and personal level" or "Jon Arbuckle groovin"
why not both??
The duality of man
may I add: John Arbuckle relates to this on a deep and personal level
John can put out though, like hot damn! You seen them moves?
It's definitely a both for me. Shit slaps, but also... Yeah.
oh hell yea will wood got the jams
Holy. Fucking. Shit. Berd listens to Will Wood.........BERD LISTENS TO WILL WOOD.
BERD LIKES WILL WOOD. THIS IS NOT A DRILL
berd
BERD WILL WOOD ENJOYER EVERYONE CELEBRATE
BERD IS A WILL WOOD ENJOYER ⁉️
The losing it on himself at the end unable to be vulnerable with his emotions because they will either be dismissed or garner negative reactions is too real.
Real
I seriously don't know the context, pls help.
@@WalterUndergo I think OP meant that it’s hard for men to be emotionally vulnerable because they’re always ignored or people get angry because men aren’t allowed to be “weak”.
I read "garner" as "gamer"
@@BlackSheepNara Yes, you deciphered my attempt at communicating the origin of the emotional resonance. I will go further and say it's a problem associated with wanting to be "strong" or "good enough" or just with meeting expectations in general when you feel inadequate and insecure though men do get the brunt of that these days due to pressures coming from all directions from an increasingly early age.
Thanks to that one random Jon Arbuckle fancam for introducing me to this song
Me too dude
It has brought this astartes as well
That’s how I got into it too
ditto!! lol
Same lmao
Every Will Wood song: lets have a mental breakdown, but make it *jazzy*
jazzy breakdown it is
When your friends call you Jazzy and you see this and you're like "Yeah that is me".
Will Wood is either having a mental breakdown, or having a trip on LSD
The bare essence of jazz is coping with how much everything sucks by turning it into a fun song. That's why they call it the blues.
666 likes apparently.
Person 1: this is banger
Person 2: I am clinically depressed
wym that's just the will wood pipeline
same person
Both are true
Person?
Who called me?
I am both
"Super happy music with super depressing lyrics" is one of my favorite genres of music and this song absolutely nails that
This song and I Can't Stop the Loneliness are the best examples I can think of when I have to explain what I mean by that genre :'y
Literally vocaloid in a nutshell
and there it is agAIN.... these
Do you know more? I need some recommendations :*( might as well jazz to the heart breaks
@@whitedragoness23 Everything by Penelope Scott. 7 o'clock, feel better, gross, montreal, dead girls, baxter 3rd is under seige, etc etc.
3:32
Guys, in all do respect, Jon Arbuckle has some sick moves.
Ayyy
Sheesh🥶🥶
Jon Arbuckle slick as all hell, got the absolute schmoves
@@atomictaste4355The absolute schmovement in that schuit
due*
They say that playing music can temporarily reverse the effects of dementia... So when I'm drooling on myself in some miserable corner of some miserable nursing home, put this on and you'll see the orthopedic injury dance
I'm sorry the what😭
“im not a good person im barely a person at all” hit _way_ to hard
if you genuinely relate to those lyrics you should probably speak to a therapist just saying
@@ZoeAlexa11 yea probably
@@ZoeAlexa11therapy is expensive depression is free
@@bludraws094good luck random stranger on the internet. Hope your life get better (if it currently sucks).
@@ZoeAlexa11 wait is that not a normal thought?
Love how everyone is either
"This is so relatable.."
"This really helped me."
Or
"JON ARBUCKLE GROOVIN'⁉️"
Stages of discovering a will wood song.
Stage 1: hey this song is quite banging
Stage 2: wow this guy is a really good lyricist, I love how colorful his language is and how he string sentences together.
Stage 3: oh....this is some deep and heavy topic.
Stage 4: am I....Will Wood?
THIS IS SO REAL STOP
Stage 5: I'm Will Wood. Everything is Will Wood.
As an autistic person I REALLY connect to this song, becoming vulnerable with people is especially weird for me since all my life I've been told I'm only useful for what I can be useful for. Now that I'm actually trying to better myself, I have to actually go through the process of learning to love because I never had any meaningful platonic relationships
In other words, gotta love it when will wood makes a song basically about you :)
Fellow aspie...✨✌️
real words
Haha....likely autistic...and everyone I've been vulnerable with only ends up valuing me what I can be used for....haha
As someone with autism, I've not really had it that bad but I've still had Terrible self esteem because of all the other things wrong with me, just know love isn't something anybody should have to earn. If you are honest about your feelings and open up its terrifying but it helps improve relationships because you'll get closer as they understand you and feel comfortable opening up as well. If they make fun of you for feeling things then they're jerks. If you saw someone making fun of someone crying their heart out then you wouldn't be on their side. That goes for the thoughts in your head too. Don't critique yourself for something you wouldn't say to someone else. We're all doing our human best and we make mistakes so let's forgive each other. If it helps I was able to become better through christ. God loves us all unconditionally, even the worst of us and you aren't the worst. He'd kill his son for you and I probably wouldn't do that for anyone.
I think it's hilarious all us aspies are hanging out in a fucking will wood comment section.
this song has fucking slaughtered it way up to the very top of my favorites and i wasnt much of will wood fan prior help i think a demon jusy got released from my body
Yeah and its all thanks to me >:D!
Demon jusy 💀
Demon Jusy 😱
I'm primarily a metalhead but this is just so raw
also demon jusy lmfao
Demon Jusy😭
Dude, a song about asking for forgiveness didn’t need to drop this hard
This song is literally the definition of "when you're happy you enjoy the song, when you're sad you understand the lyrics"
Omg holy crap 100%
This is unironically a brilliant and highly fitting song for Jon Arbuckle.
You aren’t wrong
Jon Arbuckle is so sad until you realize he has a man in his basement canonically
@@amethyst..2so do all my favorite youtubers, and theyre still my pookies. Dunno why that should change anything
@@filipemartinho1753 fair
I'm sorry...Jon Arbuckle brought me here...😓
same
Lol same
he does have a great taste in music huh
After all these years Garfield was finally worth it.
Well, at least we found some way here. Even it was because of a Garfield cartoon.
This is painfully relatable like PAINFULLY relatable, every single sentence, every word and all the emotion explains the place that I’m in right now. Not expecting someone wanting you for you, practically just seen as a sexual object and the dread of feeling extremely lonely due to that. When someone actually shows you affection you just think they want you for your body instead of you. That’s what I got from this, it might not be correct but this is how I’m feeling. Sexual encounters being the only affection that i am able to express. I miss him so much god
I relate ong
Literally the same despite also having intrusive thoughts telling you you're ugly and that people just want the idea of you
the fact this song doesn’t get the attention it deserves crushes me, its SOO GOODD ToT
It’s a disservice to humanity
ikr, i hold myself back from listening to it on repeat, so i can come back every once in a while and feel all the absolute magnificence of this song. it's such a banger, where are all animatics from artists ???
@@alexriley3179 t
I hope it doesn't end up in TikTok because they will make a funny song when it is a deep song (or just Jon Arbuckle just dancing.....)
@@user-sy4xb8bu5svent art exists in TikTok, so they'll probably make those instead
I was just making food while listening to spotify when this song started playing. I wasn't paying I lot of attention 'til the chorus arrived, and I immediately stopped what I was doing the moment I started to actually pay attention to it. It was so shocking that it was... So accurate to me, that I had to restart the song and actually listen to it and read the lyrics.
I am Autistic, and I know perfectly the feeling of not deserving that love others offer to you, specially when you cannot give it back, because you're not enough... You're not human (I can remember so many times when people have asked me why I can't do such simple things and my answer was always "I don't know how to be human, I cannot do the things that mostly every other normal human could do without even paying attention"). Heck, you even end up hurting them more than you give them the love they deserve.
I love my family, I love my friends, and I do my best to be better, to find a way to give them what they deserve but I don't know how... Even so, I will keep trying, I will not give up, even if my progress feels too small to even be considered progress, I will keep trying. And the idea of actually bettering, "fixing" myself is all I've got, I wish that could be enough someday... I wish I'm more than enough someday.
Edit almost a year later: Oh gosh, that's a lot of likes, i can't believe that so many people actually took the time to read this, thank you so much, it means a lot to me. And if you ever feel the same i did back then (and still feel but in a slightly more optimistic way), just remember that you're not alone. That there is people trying as hard as you are and that we are all in a fight against ourselves, and we have the strenght to win and become better. If you feel like you're not enough, that doesn't mean you're a waste or you shouldn't exist. Maybe you're enough and you don't realize, or maybe you just need to work on yourself to become what you want to be. But never give up, If you try you can and will do it, I know that
Huh, I never thought I'd ever meet another person that also had the same thought of "I'm not even human." It brings me some kind of comfort knowing there's someone that understands the feeling of not feeling "human enough." But you're getting there, don't stop the progress you've made up until this point. I'll be there right beside you in thought, so hold your head high and keep moving forward, keep learning and adapting.
What if you do know how to love, but it's just not how neurotypicals think of love? What if you haven't been able to explore it because you're too busy judging yourself and trying to live up to the standards of people who haven't spent a day in your shoes? You are enough, it's just that some people can't see it.
@@TheArizonawolf Thank you so much for your kind words
@@zabbee2323 you may be right in some degree. I spent a lot of that period of my life trying to show them love the way they wanted me to, at least, it happened with my family. I know they love me, but they do not know how hard it is to be me.
Still, i consider that i still can do more. I don't want to berate at myself anymore, i don't want to feel incapable again, i've been feeling better, but i still wish i could do more to thank everyone that did so much for me. Even if it's not in a conventional way. For now, i'm trying to show them my love through becoming a better version of myself. I want to show them that everything they did for me will not be repaid through meaningless gifts or empty affection, since it feels like hypocrisy doing so little when they did so much for me.
I instead want to show them that i will become not only a better person, but a successful one. I want to show them that i can be everything they trust i can be. Because I know that the thing they want from me the most is to become someone capable of achieving whatever i want, and helping me in that is THEIR way of showing love for me, even if they don't understand that i may have special needs (which is still a bother, i wish i could just do things but oh well, i guess i just have to work harder than any neurotipical, as usual)
But yeah, that's where i'm at right now
you shouldn’t have to find a way to give the people you love “what they deserve.” being a genuinely good person and being kind and spending time with the people you love is enough. nobody should be expecting more from you than that.
DONT THINK I DIDN'T CATCH THE POSSIBLY UNINTENTIONAL I / ME / MYSELF RIFF AT 1:43 WILL
What do you mean?
@@Mduenisch at 1:43 there's a little leitmotif from Will's other song, I / me / myself. It may or may not be intentional but i'm choosing to think that it is intentional because will is an evil genius when it comes to these sorts of things.
I guess I wasn't just imagining it, glad that someone else heard it too
"There's only 12 notes to work with; cut me a fucking break"
-Will Wood on writing songs that accidentally sound like other songs
(But I agree, it is a nice detail even if unintentional :))
I caught that the first time i heard this song and i was trying to somehow connect the two
But it is also possible that it's just coincidental
I myself am autistic and getting tested for STPD, and I constantly go back to this song or the song "when somebody needs you" also by will wood, It is extraordinarily hard for me to maintain friendships or bonds, not knowing when should I speak at a certain point or thinking if I say this or that it may unsettle the person i'm speaking to. The lyric i can hold your hand but keep you at arms length is pretty relatable too. Whenever I actually do gain a friend, I may come off a bit clingy at times due to being out-casted from my peers . I often slip up sometimes and when I do, usually it's because i say something that comes off as "odd" or if i'm not remaining eye contact with said person. Setting that person off. Making us drift away both really quickly. I try tp repair the relationship but it's like they don't look at me the same, like i'm a alien from outer space or just straight up infantilizing me.
I can relate to an extent. I'm autistic too, but over time I learned how to recognize those social cues and got sort of unnaturally good at it through practice. I hope you can do the same someday. You have my faith in you. ❤
Thank you ❤❤@@thetallpancake
Oh to sing "against the kitchen floor" in the actual kitchen floor
Relatable
Loneliness is a damned feeling man
An underrated part is the “iiiii don’t know why you would CAAARE!”
I read this as will sang it
I don’t like how relatable this song is
Lol😊
Im in this picture and I dont like it lol
Honestly? I found this through the john arbuckle meme, but i connect with this on a deeper level than just that. As someone with autism and adhd, the line "but i cant pin down what normal people want from foriegn objects, bottom shelf erotic objects like me" and "I just havent learned how to be human as you are yet" and "because i really couldn't tell how deep my footprints went, the vertex of my redemption arc, the searching of that virgin heart, im catatonic in your arms, cryin' 'how did i cause so much harm?'" Is such an amazing allegory for the adhd and autistic condition, just giving the feeling that no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you give, if you have adhd and autism, then youll always not "get" things, but the tone of the song tells me that all of that is ok, becuase you may not ever be truly understood by others, but you're big enough and significant enough to understand yourself truly". This is such an amazing song, i listen to this daily whenever i feel down in the dumps!!!!
Man. I keep putting off checking out new Will songs, and then when I finally listen, they hit so hard in such a painfully beautiful way. I won't get into a whole vent in a youtube comment but this really resonates. That bittersweet instrumentation that sounds simultaneously hopeful and like you've already accepted hopelessness. That cold feeling of isolation deep in your bones as you look into the warmth you want to believe is possible. The feeling that you're desperately wanting to be a part of something your brain keeps telling you deep down you're not good enough to reach. As usual with a Will song, just...wow.
damn.
it sounds like the dying echoes of disco
"I'm sorry, I promise, I'm doing my best. I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet"
I really relate to that line. As someone who's socially awkward, when I hear, "Humans are a social l species", it makes me feel like I'm failing at being human. But I'm trying. I'm making friends the best I can, and hopefully one day I'll feel normal.
i am in pain
🤝
Nice
Same
Sucks 2 suck
I am alone, wanna be in pain together?
Definitely one of my favourite songs on the album!!
Same. Other than the singles I really love The Main Character and Half-decade Hangover as well
The very last part hit too hard. Truth be told this entire song feels like a story beat for beat of my life and by the end I felt the same as the artist “it has to be all about (my) drama”
I had a really traumatic day yesterday, and this song has cheered me up more than anything else today. Thank you for posting it; this song deserves more recognition.
kid are you ok?????
i hope you are
7cupsoftea is an online thing that offers free therapy, in case you think you need it, ok?
oof
Man, for some reason, I can visualize the perfect dance to just one forty-second segment of this song.
same here (nice kamille pfp btw)
I have a fiancee I love to death and I have no idea how I'm going to support this relationship. I basically feel like a crossover between a shade, a ghost, and a robot. Removed, detached, apart from. But that crazy woman who doesn't have any idea what she's committing to IS committed to me. So I really feel the vibe of a fucked up person trying to make it work, knowing they're fucking up, and moving on and forgiving the past so they can stay by their beloved's side.
slay
hope it works out between you two.
Hope it works out :)
the best advice I can give is to be honest to your fiancée that you feel this way, genuinely. communication is so important to keeping a relationship healthy
This song reads like an android that's figured out how to navigate the basics of human emotions, but is stymied by figuring out 'love' and is just aware enough to be frustrated by this stumbling block and no I'm not calling myself out like this thankyouverymuch!😤
It's giving Lt Data (/pos)
Dirk Strider?
First listen: This song is a banger
Second listen: I need to go to the psych ward
Third listen: ;-; this song is a banger ;-;
Lotta people talking about how depressed this song makes them. I dunno. It makes me proud. Cause I look back at who I was, and who I am now. And I know I'm better.
The beginning (and throughout the song tbh) really sounds like papa louie’s pizzeria background music and i hate the fact that no one has noticed this.
I kin his songs so fucking hard GODDAMIT
same lmao it attacks me on a molecular level
@@aluminiumcan8566 and he apologise at the end of the song, for WHAT? For making one of HIS BEST SONGS EVER TO PULL OFF??!!?
I'm here from a Jon Arbuckle dancing meme. Why are the sad songs always bangers?
I was cleaning my room and wasn’t really paying attention to the lyrics at all until like 1:13 and that lyric just stuck in my head I had to stop what I was doing and just listen to the song and oh my god???????? Why does this song hit so hard ??????? I have no idea how will wood managed to pack so much content (and/or trauma lol) into like 5 minutes worth of lyrics I’m actually so shaken right now this song is so powerful. Also yes I did come from the John arbuckle meme lmao I saw that video and added the song to my playlist and it finally came up on shuffle today but I’m so glad it did
I deeply relate to this song because I feel like its about someone who is trying to be better but keeps fucking up in some way, like they want to do better they know they should do better but they just cant.
I think every Will Wood fan is either just really chaotic, or has a traumatic past. Or both.
Jon Arbuckle a real one for this
I relate to this a concerning amount, feels like it was ripped straight out of my brain
I wish my friend never met me.
As someone (with a few mental conditions however not important) and not being able to act properly from a young age wow this song hurts. The lyrics especially the bridge hit like “i really couldn’t tell how deep my footprints went”, “the vertex of my redemption arc”, “how did i cause so much harm” “apologising for my life and ever entering yours”
For the better part of four years i’ve overcome a massive change to myself because of a end of a friendship that caused me to realise how bad of a person i was and how much harm i was causing, (though i am an unrealisable narrator so i cannot tell you if i was as bad as i think i was as i suppressed most of these memorises. I didn’t understand the harm i was causing and maybe if i did i wouldn’t have done the things i did or maybe nothing would have changed as much as i wish, i cannot change the past. Maybe in another universe i wasn’t the way i was and we still could be friends, i truly morn our friendship, he didn’t deserve meeting me.
Two years ago i’ve tried focusing on becoming a better person for this friend even if we’ll never meet again and they’ll never know i’ve changed, i just couldn’t live with them having the memory of how i used to be so i did, i tried, and sure i had some really bad lows but i’d say i’m doing pretty well. I still mess up i still don’t know how to properly act and i’m still trying, since i’ve texted this friend again after four years of no contact apologising for my behaviour and all the wrongs explaining on what caused it (which is a whole other story) but how even so it was unjustified. I still remember joking to myself saying “oh well i guess this concludes my redemption arc” but i could never and still really can’t let go how i used to be, i think i’ll forever regret myself and i truly apologise for everyone who met me back then.
I still look back and wish i could have apologised more and i don’t think i deserve the forgiveness i was given, but i’m grateful nonetheless. I can only hope the friend will remember me as a different person instead of the one they met. i still fear sometimes that i’m the same person and i think i would have a breakdown if anyone told me so but knowing that i fear this told me i’ve changed.
for anyone out there who realise that they have done bad things, it’s not too late to change and maybe no one will realise you have maybe no one will care but it’s better than living with the thought that you are still the same person doming the bad things.
you know those songs where you end up crying so, so fucking hard because this is feels almost exactly what you and your SO are going through and just immediately think "Yeah, I should call him" by the time the song ends?
this is one of them.
... fuck.... i should call him..
Did you end up calling him?
Well this fits perfectly into my "vibing af and bawling my eyes out" Spotify playlist
It's like the male protagonist singing on a small stage in a bar a day before leaving the neighborhood where his lover is, right after a breakup.
It's small and looks like a drama queen/king, but it has a certain seriousness to it. Little charm, that's why I like this song.
3:55
Against the kitchen floor
Against the kitchen floor
I listened to this song fully the first playthrough and now I'm against the corner of my room, crying.
It hits in a way, the depression, the guilt, the mistakes I've made. Feeling like I can't make meaningful relationships. I've only been able to make three, and two of them are family members, and one is a friend, now someone I'll be with forever, that I'm too lucky to have made.
I try, I try so fucking hard to make friends, but my ability is so weak from so long being shut in, thinking no one will like me for me. I ended up feeling an unhealthy obsession for the one I care about most, I've been told. To finally come to terms with that is terrifying, because it was something I had always feared. Just two years ago I thought horribly deeply about ending things off because I hadn't tried enough, done enough to make my mother live happily and stress free, or so I thought.
Sometimes I feel like I'll never be good enough no matter how hard I try, and I've been told I never really did try. It hurts, twists deep into my soul, and never lets go.
Sometimes, I feel so, so, so broken. Sometimes I feel like I'm crying too much over nothing. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't try to defend myself, when I've done so much wrong. Or my mind endlessly torments me and convinces me into thinking it's all been my fault. It's absolutely miserable.
And I always said "sorry" too much... To the point where it feels like a phrase of affection to me. And people have never felt as real as I wanted it to be. And I can't understand them...
But maybe someone will end up reading this the full way through, and they'll find it somehow reasonable, and not a neurotic ramble. I wish I could say sorry, even just for typing too much. I guess it's just become a part of who I am, though I try to change it, and though I feel shame for it.
I promise that you're not alone in this. I feel the same way about this song
Same here.🎉
When i first listened to the Album on its release day. This one immediately became a favorite for me. And its staying that way. Such a groovy song with slightly sad lyrics
*Slightly* sad? Lol
Too relatable on an aromantic level
WE HITTING OUR HEAD AGAINST THE KITCHEN FLOOR WITH THIS ONE 🗣️🗣️🗣️
I cannot believe Jon Arbuckle led me to this absolutely devastating bop of a song pls I’m obsessed fr
As an autistic person who has problems with considering others sometimes and is trying his hardest to change, this song hurts me to hear. Alot of times I don’t even know when I’m being aloof, but it ends up creating tension in even my closest relationships. 😢
that ending part when he talks got me
Same that was fucking hilarious
this song is god tier to listen to while crying at 3 am, Jon arbuckle groovin 🎉🎉🎉
There’s this perception that the insecure person in the relationship always wants the other person more than they’re wanted. This song explains why that isn’t always true, and how fucking devastating that is. “What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can’t I love them like they deserve? I’m sorry, I promise, I’m doing my best, I just haven’t learned how to be human as you are yet”
i know this isnt what Will was going for, but as an Aro-Ace person who's rushed into relationships thinking id finally felt the "spark" that would make me "normal" and hurt people in the process... jesus does this to me lmao
i, another aroace, relate to this in an EXTREMELY high level. it's good to know that i'm not the only one who saw themselves in the song in that way :')
the start kinda sounds like papa's pizzeria music
Damn it does actually
Why would you say that. Now I can't unhear it
I heard this and thought it was a Weird Al song, but now that I know it's not I think that makes me happier that 2 people make such bangers
He does sound like Al! He's like Al in an alternate universe, if he was a zoomer and committed himself to more intimate music
Unrelated, but if you’re also looking for someone who makes goofier (less personal) songs I highly recommend Tom Cardy~
I'm a guy named Will who feels the exact same way about myself. I swear I could have written this song
Will Wood's showed up in my recommended for ages, but I never listened to him until my siblings played some of his music while we were doing dishes. The last time I heard such an accurate portrayal of mental illness in music was the first time I listened to Mother Mother. I really hope wherever this guy is, he's getting better.
me when i’m down pounding my head against the kitchen floor
can’t read them through all the tears
I've just discovered this song from a random algorithm drop from a Jon Arbuckle meme, but holy shit i can unironicly groove to this!! We need more depressing disco and funk!!
My friend hates Jon Arbuckle, so I play the video of him dancing to troll her...and I've fallen in love with this song...THANKS SOPHIE!
This is NOT my type of music but God damn if I don't completely and utterly relate to this song
This is so accurate on my traumas that it's creepy
💦🔫🐟
_a fish shooting water_
“I honestly promise I want to prove improvements possible” :(
"cuz it all has to be about Will's fucking drama"
As a William, yes. Yes it does.
Possibly one of the best mixes of blessing-and-curse names around.
The 'will-that-i-am,' that's fundamentally Nietzschean, and you get handed that as your _personal identifier_ at birth.
@@normanclatcher the number of times I've been doubting myself and somebody says out loud "If there's a Will there's a way"
Burnout and over bearing work ethic are my bread and butter. Giving up isn't in the cards.
@@Charnel_Heart My IRL name is 'Andrew,' named indirectly after my maternal grandfather, 'Manley.'
...as you see, because I am now hiding behind the moniker 'Nor-Man,' it's going _well..._ /hj
This song resonates so hard...
God I love how he adds emotions in his songs 😩
It makes it 100x times better than just normally singing it
I swwaaare I will die trying
aromantic egg anthem
🥚🪓🔨⛏️🔧
I never thought such depressing words could be such a bop
Now the Japanese know how it feels to jam to a foreign beat that’s about sever mental strife! 🎉
And now we know what it’s like to understand it!!
Genuinely one of the most beautiful songs I have heard in a long, long while.
it was so nice of will wood to write a song about me
I was gonna comment a lyric that i reallu related to but they just kept coming and i realized this song basically sums up everything in feeling rn
Feeling like you’re not human yet is something I highly relate to. It feels like something’s gone wrong as I’ve aged, and it’s made me someone I hate. I’m constantly outside of myself with shame for being alive and having to subject others to my company. I feel I have to keep challenging myself in order to reach the level of a functioning human being, but I don’t feel any closer after years of trying. No matter what I do, I’m still a failure of a person.
All in all, song’s made me cry a lot and I’m glad it’s put some words to my thoughts.
Thank you 😭😭😭😭😭
This song is so good idk why nobody had made a lyric video for it yet
“ I just haven’t learned how to be human as you are yet”
:(((((
Currently losing my hyper fixation (which is = to losing identity therefore = potential meltdown) soo listening to every sad / chaotic song to exist 😊🫶
this song is so aroallo, y'all wouldn't possibly understand
Ladies and gentlemen; my inner monologue.
1:45 in and I’m crying. Great.
If you relate to this song you should see a therapist. Yes, this applies to myself.
...no, dummy.
It relates to *me,* but only because I'm genuinely _tired_ of having to explain this one, _over and over,_ to emotionally-avoidant or unavailable women.
Most notably, my mother.
_Therapy,_ for *me,* can't be what fixes *_her._*
Why does this sound like it belongs in a musical about a closeted aromantic
Jfc I swear this song just manages to find all of my emotional pressure points it and hits them all at once like some kind of ancient martial arts master. Turning me into a sobbing blob at 4 am, while also being so perfect and groovy.
will has this uncanny ability to write the most deeply relatable songs i swear. this man knows what it's like to be mentally ill and In Love
Song goes harder when you were a bad person before.
And ahhh aaaah aaah a a ah I SWEAAAR gets me every time
There is something so surreal about this song, a song about a man profusely apologizing to a romantic partner he neglected because he genuinely believed they only wanted him for his body so he emotionally distanced himself. I’ve genuinely never felt so much emotional vulnerability through a song before I can literally feel not only that the singer carried this guilt with him for so long but this feels like one of the first times he’s ever been emotionally vulnerable in front of them because it probably is and he for the most part talks about how sorry he is and how he wants to improve. I love Will wood, hope bro heals.
Will Wood does this thing no one else does, where you feel an emotion no normal human could just describe to someone, and then Will just starts yelling it in your ear and it makes perfect sense.
Jon has lead me to the good place
mmm sure I have some mental health issues BUT I also could simply daydream m problems away with this fantAstic song