The losing it on himself at the end unable to be vulnerable with his emotions because they will either be dismissed or garner negative reactions is too real.
@@WalterUndergo I think OP meant that it’s hard for men to be emotionally vulnerable because they’re always ignored or people get angry because men aren’t allowed to be “weak”.
@@BlackSheepNara Yes, you deciphered my attempt at communicating the origin of the emotional resonance. I will go further and say it's a problem associated with wanting to be "strong" or "good enough" or just with meeting expectations in general when you feel inadequate and insecure though men do get the brunt of that these days due to pressures coming from all directions from an increasingly early age.
Stages of discovering a will wood song. Stage 1: hey this song is quite banging Stage 2: wow this guy is a really good lyricist, I love how colorful his language is and how he string sentences together. Stage 3: oh....this is some deep and heavy topic. Stage 4: am I....Will Wood?
They say that playing music can temporarily reverse the effects of dementia... So when I'm drooling on myself in some miserable corner of some miserable nursing home, put this on and you'll see the orthopedic injury dance
Lotta people talking about how depressed this song makes them. I dunno. It makes me proud. Cause I look back at who I was, and who I am now. And I know I'm better.
this song has fucking slaughtered it way up to the very top of my favorites and i wasnt much of will wood fan prior help i think a demon jusy got released from my body
ikr, i hold myself back from listening to it on repeat, so i can come back every once in a while and feel all the absolute magnificence of this song. it's such a banger, where are all animatics from artists ???
@@Mduenisch at 1:43 there's a little leitmotif from Will's other song, I / me / myself. It may or may not be intentional but i'm choosing to think that it is intentional because will is an evil genius when it comes to these sorts of things.
"There's only 12 notes to work with; cut me a fucking break" -Will Wood on writing songs that accidentally sound like other songs (But I agree, it is a nice detail even if unintentional :))
Honestly? I found this through the john arbuckle meme, but i connect with this on a deeper level than just that. As someone with autism and adhd, the line "but i cant pin down what normal people want from foriegn objects, bottom shelf erotic objects like me" and "I just havent learned how to be human as you are yet" and "because i really couldn't tell how deep my footprints went, the vertex of my redemption arc, the searching of that virgin heart, im catatonic in your arms, cryin' 'how did i cause so much harm?'" Is such an amazing allegory for the adhd and autistic condition, just giving the feeling that no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you give, if you have adhd and autism, then youll always not "get" things, but the tone of the song tells me that all of that is ok, becuase you may not ever be truly understood by others, but you're big enough and significant enough to understand yourself truly". This is such an amazing song, i listen to this daily whenever i feel down in the dumps!!!!
Will Wood does this thing no one else does, where you feel an emotion no normal human could just describe to someone, and then Will just starts yelling it in your ear and it makes perfect sense.
As an autistic person I REALLY connect to this song, becoming vulnerable with people is especially weird for me since all my life I've been told I'm only useful for what I can be useful for. Now that I'm actually trying to better myself, I have to actually go through the process of learning to love because I never had any meaningful platonic relationships In other words, gotta love it when will wood makes a song basically about you :)
As someone with autism, I've not really had it that bad but I've still had Terrible self esteem because of all the other things wrong with me, just know love isn't something anybody should have to earn. If you are honest about your feelings and open up its terrifying but it helps improve relationships because you'll get closer as they understand you and feel comfortable opening up as well. If they make fun of you for feeling things then they're jerks. If you saw someone making fun of someone crying their heart out then you wouldn't be on their side. That goes for the thoughts in your head too. Don't critique yourself for something you wouldn't say to someone else. We're all doing our human best and we make mistakes so let's forgive each other. If it helps I was able to become better through christ. God loves us all unconditionally, even the worst of us and you aren't the worst. He'd kill his son for you and I probably wouldn't do that for anyone.
This is painfully relatable like PAINFULLY relatable, every single sentence, every word and all the emotion explains the place that I’m in right now. Not expecting someone wanting you for you, practically just seen as a sexual object and the dread of feeling extremely lonely due to that. When someone actually shows you affection you just think they want you for your body instead of you. That’s what I got from this, it might not be correct but this is how I’m feeling. Sexual encounters being the only affection that i am able to express. I miss him so much god
I was just making food while listening to spotify when this song started playing. I wasn't paying I lot of attention 'til the chorus arrived, and I immediately stopped what I was doing the moment I started to actually pay attention to it. It was so shocking that it was... So accurate to me, that I had to restart the song and actually listen to it and read the lyrics. I am Autistic, and I know perfectly the feeling of not deserving that love others offer to you, specially when you cannot give it back, because you're not enough... You're not human (I can remember so many times when people have asked me why I can't do such simple things and my answer was always "I don't know how to be human, I cannot do the things that mostly every other normal human could do without even paying attention"). Heck, you even end up hurting them more than you give them the love they deserve. I love my family, I love my friends, and I do my best to be better, to find a way to give them what they deserve but I don't know how... Even so, I will keep trying, I will not give up, even if my progress feels too small to even be considered progress, I will keep trying. And the idea of actually bettering, "fixing" myself is all I've got, I wish that could be enough someday... I wish I'm more than enough someday. Edit almost a year later: Oh gosh, that's a lot of likes, i can't believe that so many people actually took the time to read this, thank you so much, it means a lot to me. And if you ever feel the same i did back then (and still feel but in a slightly more optimistic way), just remember that you're not alone. That there is people trying as hard as you are and that we are all in a fight against ourselves, and we have the strenght to win and become better. If you feel like you're not enough, that doesn't mean you're a waste or you shouldn't exist. Maybe you're enough and you don't realize, or maybe you just need to work on yourself to become what you want to be. But never give up, If you try you can and will do it, I know that
Huh, I never thought I'd ever meet another person that also had the same thought of "I'm not even human." It brings me some kind of comfort knowing there's someone that understands the feeling of not feeling "human enough." But you're getting there, don't stop the progress you've made up until this point. I'll be there right beside you in thought, so hold your head high and keep moving forward, keep learning and adapting.
@zabbee2323 you may be right in some degree. I spent a lot of that period of my life trying to show them love the way they wanted me to, at least, it happened with my family. I know they love me, but they do not know how hard it is to be me. Still, i consider that i still can do more. I don't want to berate at myself anymore, i don't want to feel incapable again, i've been feeling better, but i still wish i could do more to thank everyone that did so much for me. Even if it's not in a conventional way. For now, i'm trying to show them my love through becoming a better version of myself. I want to show them that everything they did for me will not be repaid through meaningless gifts or empty affection, since it feels like hypocrisy doing so little when they did so much for me. I instead want to show them that i will become not only a better person, but a successful one. I want to show them that i can be everything they trust i can be. Because I know that the thing they want from me the most is to become someone capable of achieving whatever i want, and helping me in that is THEIR way of showing love for me, even if they don't understand that i may have special needs (which is still a bother, i wish i could just do things but oh well, i guess i just have to work harder than any neurotipical, as usual) But yeah, that's where i'm at right now
you shouldn’t have to find a way to give the people you love “what they deserve.” being a genuinely good person and being kind and spending time with the people you love is enough. nobody should be expecting more from you than that.
Big thanks for last paragraph, it is quite reassuring. My eyes are literally wet with tears because of all this "am i even a human?" stuff that I am not alone with.
Man. I keep putting off checking out new Will songs, and then when I finally listen, they hit so hard in such a painfully beautiful way. I won't get into a whole vent in a youtube comment but this really resonates. That bittersweet instrumentation that sounds simultaneously hopeful and like you've already accepted hopelessness. That cold feeling of isolation deep in your bones as you look into the warmth you want to believe is possible. The feeling that you're desperately wanting to be a part of something your brain keeps telling you deep down you're not good enough to reach. As usual with a Will song, just...wow.
I had a really traumatic day yesterday, and this song has cheered me up more than anything else today. Thank you for posting it; this song deserves more recognition.
It's like the male protagonist singing on a small stage in a bar a day before leaving the neighborhood where his lover is, right after a breakup. It's small and looks like a drama queen/king, but it has a certain seriousness to it. Little charm, that's why I like this song.
The very last part hit too hard. Truth be told this entire song feels like a story beat for beat of my life and by the end I felt the same as the artist “it has to be all about (my) drama”
I myself am autistic and getting tested for STPD, and I constantly go back to this song or the song "when somebody needs you" also by will wood, It is extraordinarily hard for me to maintain friendships or bonds, not knowing when should I speak at a certain point or thinking if I say this or that it may unsettle the person i'm speaking to. The lyric i can hold your hand but keep you at arms length is pretty relatable too. Whenever I actually do gain a friend, I may come off a bit clingy at times due to being out-casted from my peers . I often slip up sometimes and when I do, usually it's because i say something that comes off as "odd" or if i'm not remaining eye contact with said person. Setting that person off. Making us drift away both really quickly. I try tp repair the relationship but it's like they don't look at me the same, like i'm a alien from outer space or just straight up infantilizing me.
I can relate to an extent. I'm autistic too, but over time I learned how to recognize those social cues and got sort of unnaturally good at it through practice. I hope you can do the same someday. You have my faith in you. ❤
This song reads like an android that's figured out how to navigate the basics of human emotions, but is stymied by figuring out 'love' and is just aware enough to be frustrated by this stumbling block and no I'm not calling myself out like this thankyouverymuch!😤
As an autistic person who has problems with considering others sometimes and is trying his hardest to change, this song hurts me to hear. Alot of times I don’t even know when I’m being aloof, but it ends up creating tension in even my closest relationships. 😢
I was cleaning my room and wasn’t really paying attention to the lyrics at all until like 1:13 and that lyric just stuck in my head I had to stop what I was doing and just listen to the song and oh my god???????? Why does this song hit so hard ??????? I have no idea how will wood managed to pack so much content (and/or trauma lol) into like 5 minutes worth of lyrics I’m actually so shaken right now this song is so powerful. Also yes I did come from the John arbuckle meme lmao I saw that video and added the song to my playlist and it finally came up on shuffle today but I’m so glad it did
"I'm sorry, I promise, I'm doing my best. I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet" I really relate to that line. As someone who's socially awkward, when I hear, "Humans are a social l species", it makes me feel like I'm failing at being human. But I'm trying. I'm making friends the best I can, and hopefully one day I'll feel normal.
Will Wood's showed up in my recommended for ages, but I never listened to him until my siblings played some of his music while we were doing dishes. The last time I heard such an accurate portrayal of mental illness in music was the first time I listened to Mother Mother. I really hope wherever this guy is, he's getting better.
I listened to this song fully the first playthrough and now I'm against the corner of my room, crying. It hits in a way, the depression, the guilt, the mistakes I've made. Feeling like I can't make meaningful relationships. I've only been able to make three, and two of them are family members, and one is a friend, now someone I'll be with forever, that I'm too lucky to have made. I try, I try so fucking hard to make friends, but my ability is so weak from so long being shut in, thinking no one will like me for me. I ended up feeling an unhealthy obsession for the one I care about most, I've been told. To finally come to terms with that is terrifying, because it was something I had always feared. Just two years ago I thought horribly deeply about ending things off because I hadn't tried enough, done enough to make my mother live happily and stress free, or so I thought. Sometimes I feel like I'll never be good enough no matter how hard I try, and I've been told I never really did try. It hurts, twists deep into my soul, and never lets go. Sometimes, I feel so, so, so broken. Sometimes I feel like I'm crying too much over nothing. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't try to defend myself, when I've done so much wrong. Or my mind endlessly torments me and convinces me into thinking it's all been my fault. It's absolutely miserable. And I always said "sorry" too much... To the point where it feels like a phrase of affection to me. And people have never felt as real as I wanted it to be. And I can't understand them... But maybe someone will end up reading this the full way through, and they'll find it somehow reasonable, and not a neurotic ramble. I wish I could say sorry, even just for typing too much. I guess it's just become a part of who I am, though I try to change it, and though I feel shame for it.
I've just discovered this song from a random algorithm drop from a Jon Arbuckle meme, but holy shit i can unironicly groove to this!! We need more depressing disco and funk!!
The beginning (and throughout the song tbh) really sounds like papa louie’s pizzeria background music and i hate the fact that no one has noticed this.
I have a fiancee I love to death and I have no idea how I'm going to support this relationship. I basically feel like a crossover between a shade, a ghost, and a robot. Removed, detached, apart from. But that crazy woman who doesn't have any idea what she's committing to IS committed to me. So I really feel the vibe of a fucked up person trying to make it work, knowing they're fucking up, and moving on and forgiving the past so they can stay by their beloved's side.
the best advice I can give is to be honest to your fiancée that you feel this way, genuinely. communication is so important to keeping a relationship healthy
I deeply relate to this song because I feel like its about someone who is trying to be better but keeps fucking up in some way, like they want to do better they know they should do better but they just cant.
"i'm not a good person, i'm barely a person at all but someday i'll be perfect and i'll make up for it all" OK BESTIE NO NEED TO STAB ME WITH MY REFLECTION WHAT THE HELL
There’s this perception that the insecure person in the relationship always wants the other person more than they’re wanted. This song explains why that isn’t always true, and how fucking devastating that is. “What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can’t I love them like they deserve? I’m sorry, I promise, I’m doing my best, I just haven’t learned how to be human as you are yet”
"I can't figure _myself_ out, how the *hell* am I supposed to let you know what I want when _all this time,_ expressing interest, attachment, preference... it's been used to hurt me, _en toto._ And it's 'my fault,' sure. But still... do you _see_ me running away...? Or... am I still here...?"
Jfc I swear this song just manages to find all of my emotional pressure points it and hits them all at once like some kind of ancient martial arts master. Turning me into a sobbing blob at 4 am, while also being so perfect and groovy.
Songs like this just decipher and break down emotions people feel and things people go thru and I love it! The vibe of the song at the start being soft and careful to upbeat and layered but still having a few lyrics being the same is just amazing to listen to. Props to Will Wood for being the wondrous dove he is!
I wish my friend never met me. As someone (with a few mental conditions however not important) and not being able to act properly from a young age wow this song hurts. The lyrics especially the bridge hit like “i really couldn’t tell how deep my footprints went”, “the vertex of my redemption arc”, “how did i cause so much harm” “apologising for my life and ever entering yours” For the better part of four years i’ve overcome a massive change to myself because of a end of a friendship that caused me to realise how bad of a person i was and how much harm i was causing, (though i am an unrealisable narrator so i cannot tell you if i was as bad as i think i was as i suppressed most of these memorises. I didn’t understand the harm i was causing and maybe if i did i wouldn’t have done the things i did or maybe nothing would have changed as much as i wish, i cannot change the past. Maybe in another universe i wasn’t the way i was and we still could be friends, i truly morn our friendship, he didn’t deserve meeting me. Two years ago i’ve tried focusing on becoming a better person for this friend even if we’ll never meet again and they’ll never know i’ve changed, i just couldn’t live with them having the memory of how i used to be so i did, i tried, and sure i had some really bad lows but i’d say i’m doing pretty well. I still mess up i still don’t know how to properly act and i’m still trying, since i’ve texted this friend again after four years of no contact apologising for my behaviour and all the wrongs explaining on what caused it (which is a whole other story) but how even so it was unjustified. I still remember joking to myself saying “oh well i guess this concludes my redemption arc” but i could never and still really can’t let go how i used to be, i think i’ll forever regret myself and i truly apologise for everyone who met me back then. I still look back and wish i could have apologised more and i don’t think i deserve the forgiveness i was given, but i’m grateful nonetheless. I can only hope the friend will remember me as a different person instead of the one they met. i still fear sometimes that i’m the same person and i think i would have a breakdown if anyone told me so but knowing that i fear this told me i’ve changed. for anyone out there who realise that they have done bad things, it’s not too late to change and maybe no one will realise you have maybe no one will care but it’s better than living with the thought that you are still the same person doming the bad things.
when it gets to 3:32 thats when it hits hard for me, and when it goes to "im down pounding my head against the kitchen floor" it reminds me of my sh. which i've been 2 months clean but today i ruined it. and i relate with this song cause im not even a good person.
Feeling like you’re not human yet is something I highly relate to. It feels like something’s gone wrong as I’ve aged, and it’s made me someone I hate. I’m constantly outside of myself with shame for being alive and having to subject others to my company. I feel I have to keep challenging myself in order to reach the level of a functioning human being, but I don’t feel any closer after years of trying. No matter what I do, I’m still a failure of a person. All in all, song’s made me cry a lot and I’m glad it’s put some words to my thoughts.
Hey Me from a year ago!! The shame and guilt’s lower now, we even have periods of time where we’re happy! Awesome, right? Still learning how to be a functioning human, but the destination is clearer now. Also you stopped worshipping the christian God, it helped a lot.
There is something so surreal about this song, a song about a man profusely apologizing to a romantic partner he neglected because he genuinely believed they only wanted him for his body so he emotionally distanced himself. I’ve genuinely never felt so much emotional vulnerability through a song before I can literally feel not only that the singer carried this guilt with him for so long but this feels like one of the first times he’s ever been emotionally vulnerable in front of them because it probably is and he for the most part talks about how sorry he is and how he wants to improve. I love Will wood, hope bro heals.
you know those songs where you end up crying so, so fucking hard because this is feels almost exactly what you and your SO are going through and just immediately think "Yeah, I should call him" by the time the song ends? this is one of them. ... fuck.... i should call him..
Every time I hear this song, I can only think about the lyrics as a letter Will Wood wrote to himself. Or maybe this is just a song I think I can only align with the way I feel about myself. Like... singing in the mirror and being one with myself. No lies, no bullshit. Acknowledgment of the shitty ways I've treated myself in the past and the promise that I'm trying to get better. To love me more.
![[Heaven Studio] Will Wood - Against the Kitchen Floor](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/G_AFQygz-0Y/mqdefault.jpg)
I love how the comments are exclusively either "I relate to this on a deep and personal level" or "Jon Arbuckle groovin"
why not both??
The duality of man
may I add: John Arbuckle relates to this on a deep and personal level
John can put out though, like hot damn! You seen them moves?
It's definitely a both for me. Shit slaps, but also... Yeah.
Every Will Wood song: lets have a mental breakdown, but make it *jazzy*
jazzy breakdown it is
When your friends call you Jazzy and you see this and you're like "Yeah that is me".
Will Wood is either having a mental breakdown, or having a trip on LSD
The bare essence of jazz is coping with how much everything sucks by turning it into a fun song. That's why they call it the blues.
666 likes apparently.
Thanks to that one random Jon Arbuckle fancam for introducing me to this song
Me too dude
It has brought this astartes as well
That’s how I got into it too
ditto!! lol
Same lmao
Person 1: this is banger
Person 2: I am clinically depressed
wym that's just the will wood pipeline
same person
Both are true
Person?
Who called me?
I am both
"Super happy music with super depressing lyrics" is one of my favorite genres of music and this song absolutely nails that
This song and I Can't Stop the Loneliness are the best examples I can think of when I have to explain what I mean by that genre :'y
Literally vocaloid in a nutshell
and there it is agAIN.... these
Do you know more? I need some recommendations :*( might as well jazz to the heart breaks
@@whitedragoness23 Everything by Penelope Scott. 7 o'clock, feel better, gross, montreal, dead girls, baxter 3rd is under seige, etc etc.
This song is literally the definition of "when you're happy you enjoy the song, when you're sad you understand the lyrics"
Omg holy crap 100%
oh hell yea will wood got the jams
Holy. Fucking. Shit. Berd listens to Will Wood.........BERD LISTENS TO WILL WOOD.
BERD LIKES WILL WOOD. THIS IS NOT A DRILL
berd
BERD WILL WOOD ENJOYER EVERYONE CELEBRATE
BERD IS A WILL WOOD ENJOYER ⁉️
The losing it on himself at the end unable to be vulnerable with his emotions because they will either be dismissed or garner negative reactions is too real.
Real
I seriously don't know the context, pls help.
@@WalterUndergo I think OP meant that it’s hard for men to be emotionally vulnerable because they’re always ignored or people get angry because men aren’t allowed to be “weak”.
I read "garner" as "gamer"
@@BlackSheepNara Yes, you deciphered my attempt at communicating the origin of the emotional resonance. I will go further and say it's a problem associated with wanting to be "strong" or "good enough" or just with meeting expectations in general when you feel inadequate and insecure though men do get the brunt of that these days due to pressures coming from all directions from an increasingly early age.
Stages of discovering a will wood song.
Stage 1: hey this song is quite banging
Stage 2: wow this guy is a really good lyricist, I love how colorful his language is and how he string sentences together.
Stage 3: oh....this is some deep and heavy topic.
Stage 4: am I....Will Wood?
THIS IS SO REAL STOP
Stage 5: I'm Will Wood. Everything is Will Wood.
@@BillCipherisCRINGE and then suddenly everything is a will wood reference lol
@IsabelaisCRINGE stage 6: everything is will wood. I am will wood. You are will wood. I close my eyes and all I see is will wood. There is no escape.
3:32
Guys, in all do respect, Jon Arbuckle has some sick moves.
Ayyy
Sheesh🥶🥶
Jon Arbuckle slick as all hell, got the absolute schmoves
@@atomictaste4355The absolute schmovement in that schuit
due*
“im not a good person im barely a person at all” hit _way_ to hard
if you genuinely relate to those lyrics you should probably speak to a therapist just saying
@@ZoeAlexa11 yea probably
@@ZoeAlexa11therapy is expensive depression is free
@@bludraws094good luck random stranger on the internet. Hope your life get better (if it currently sucks).
@@ZoeAlexa11 wait is that not a normal thought?
They say that playing music can temporarily reverse the effects of dementia... So when I'm drooling on myself in some miserable corner of some miserable nursing home, put this on and you'll see the orthopedic injury dance
I'm sorry the what😭
Lotta people talking about how depressed this song makes them. I dunno. It makes me proud. Cause I look back at who I was, and who I am now. And I know I'm better.
Dude, a song about asking for forgiveness didn’t need to drop this hard
this song has fucking slaughtered it way up to the very top of my favorites and i wasnt much of will wood fan prior help i think a demon jusy got released from my body
Yeah and its all thanks to me >:D!
Demon jusy 💀
Demon Jusy 😱
I'm primarily a metalhead but this is just so raw
also demon jusy lmfao
Demon Jusy😭
the fact this song doesn’t get the attention it deserves crushes me, its SOO GOODD ToT
It’s a disservice to humanity
ikr, i hold myself back from listening to it on repeat, so i can come back every once in a while and feel all the absolute magnificence of this song. it's such a banger, where are all animatics from artists ???
@@alexriley3179 t
I hope it doesn't end up in TikTok because they will make a funny song when it is a deep song (or just Jon Arbuckle just dancing.....)
@@Jeró_ゝvent art exists in TikTok, so they'll probably make those instead
This is unironically a brilliant and highly fitting song for Jon Arbuckle.
You aren’t wrong
Jon Arbuckle is so sad until you realize he has a man in his basement canonically
@@amethyst..2so do all my favorite youtubers, and theyre still my pookies. Dunno why that should change anything
@@filipemartinho1753 fair
I don’t like how relatable this song is
Lol😊
Im in this picture and I dont like it lol
DONT THINK I DIDN'T CATCH THE POSSIBLY UNINTENTIONAL I / ME / MYSELF RIFF AT 1:43 WILL
What do you mean?
@@Mduenisch at 1:43 there's a little leitmotif from Will's other song, I / me / myself. It may or may not be intentional but i'm choosing to think that it is intentional because will is an evil genius when it comes to these sorts of things.
I guess I wasn't just imagining it, glad that someone else heard it too
"There's only 12 notes to work with; cut me a fucking break"
-Will Wood on writing songs that accidentally sound like other songs
(But I agree, it is a nice detail even if unintentional :))
I caught that the first time i heard this song and i was trying to somehow connect the two
But it is also possible that it's just coincidental
Honestly? I found this through the john arbuckle meme, but i connect with this on a deeper level than just that. As someone with autism and adhd, the line "but i cant pin down what normal people want from foriegn objects, bottom shelf erotic objects like me" and "I just havent learned how to be human as you are yet" and "because i really couldn't tell how deep my footprints went, the vertex of my redemption arc, the searching of that virgin heart, im catatonic in your arms, cryin' 'how did i cause so much harm?'" Is such an amazing allegory for the adhd and autistic condition, just giving the feeling that no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you give, if you have adhd and autism, then youll always not "get" things, but the tone of the song tells me that all of that is ok, becuase you may not ever be truly understood by others, but you're big enough and significant enough to understand yourself truly". This is such an amazing song, i listen to this daily whenever i feel down in the dumps!!!!
Will Wood does this thing no one else does, where you feel an emotion no normal human could just describe to someone, and then Will just starts yelling it in your ear and it makes perfect sense.
As an autistic person I REALLY connect to this song, becoming vulnerable with people is especially weird for me since all my life I've been told I'm only useful for what I can be useful for. Now that I'm actually trying to better myself, I have to actually go through the process of learning to love because I never had any meaningful platonic relationships
In other words, gotta love it when will wood makes a song basically about you :)
Fellow aspie...✨✌️
real words
Haha....likely autistic...and everyone I've been vulnerable with only ends up valuing me what I can be used for....haha
As someone with autism, I've not really had it that bad but I've still had Terrible self esteem because of all the other things wrong with me, just know love isn't something anybody should have to earn. If you are honest about your feelings and open up its terrifying but it helps improve relationships because you'll get closer as they understand you and feel comfortable opening up as well. If they make fun of you for feeling things then they're jerks. If you saw someone making fun of someone crying their heart out then you wouldn't be on their side. That goes for the thoughts in your head too. Don't critique yourself for something you wouldn't say to someone else. We're all doing our human best and we make mistakes so let's forgive each other. If it helps I was able to become better through christ. God loves us all unconditionally, even the worst of us and you aren't the worst. He'd kill his son for you and I probably wouldn't do that for anyone.
I think it's hilarious all us aspies are hanging out in a fucking will wood comment section.
An underrated part is the “iiiii don’t know why you would CAAARE!”
I read this as will sang it
This is painfully relatable like PAINFULLY relatable, every single sentence, every word and all the emotion explains the place that I’m in right now. Not expecting someone wanting you for you, practically just seen as a sexual object and the dread of feeling extremely lonely due to that. When someone actually shows you affection you just think they want you for your body instead of you. That’s what I got from this, it might not be correct but this is how I’m feeling. Sexual encounters being the only affection that i am able to express. I miss him so much god
I relate ong
Literally the same despite also having intrusive thoughts telling you you're ugly and that people just want the idea of you
Loneliness is a damned feeling man
I was just making food while listening to spotify when this song started playing. I wasn't paying I lot of attention 'til the chorus arrived, and I immediately stopped what I was doing the moment I started to actually pay attention to it. It was so shocking that it was... So accurate to me, that I had to restart the song and actually listen to it and read the lyrics.
I am Autistic, and I know perfectly the feeling of not deserving that love others offer to you, specially when you cannot give it back, because you're not enough... You're not human (I can remember so many times when people have asked me why I can't do such simple things and my answer was always "I don't know how to be human, I cannot do the things that mostly every other normal human could do without even paying attention"). Heck, you even end up hurting them more than you give them the love they deserve.
I love my family, I love my friends, and I do my best to be better, to find a way to give them what they deserve but I don't know how... Even so, I will keep trying, I will not give up, even if my progress feels too small to even be considered progress, I will keep trying. And the idea of actually bettering, "fixing" myself is all I've got, I wish that could be enough someday... I wish I'm more than enough someday.
Edit almost a year later: Oh gosh, that's a lot of likes, i can't believe that so many people actually took the time to read this, thank you so much, it means a lot to me. And if you ever feel the same i did back then (and still feel but in a slightly more optimistic way), just remember that you're not alone. That there is people trying as hard as you are and that we are all in a fight against ourselves, and we have the strenght to win and become better. If you feel like you're not enough, that doesn't mean you're a waste or you shouldn't exist. Maybe you're enough and you don't realize, or maybe you just need to work on yourself to become what you want to be. But never give up, If you try you can and will do it, I know that
Huh, I never thought I'd ever meet another person that also had the same thought of "I'm not even human." It brings me some kind of comfort knowing there's someone that understands the feeling of not feeling "human enough." But you're getting there, don't stop the progress you've made up until this point. I'll be there right beside you in thought, so hold your head high and keep moving forward, keep learning and adapting.
@@TheArizonawolf Thank you so much for your kind words
@zabbee2323 you may be right in some degree. I spent a lot of that period of my life trying to show them love the way they wanted me to, at least, it happened with my family. I know they love me, but they do not know how hard it is to be me.
Still, i consider that i still can do more. I don't want to berate at myself anymore, i don't want to feel incapable again, i've been feeling better, but i still wish i could do more to thank everyone that did so much for me. Even if it's not in a conventional way. For now, i'm trying to show them my love through becoming a better version of myself. I want to show them that everything they did for me will not be repaid through meaningless gifts or empty affection, since it feels like hypocrisy doing so little when they did so much for me.
I instead want to show them that i will become not only a better person, but a successful one. I want to show them that i can be everything they trust i can be. Because I know that the thing they want from me the most is to become someone capable of achieving whatever i want, and helping me in that is THEIR way of showing love for me, even if they don't understand that i may have special needs (which is still a bother, i wish i could just do things but oh well, i guess i just have to work harder than any neurotipical, as usual)
But yeah, that's where i'm at right now
you shouldn’t have to find a way to give the people you love “what they deserve.” being a genuinely good person and being kind and spending time with the people you love is enough. nobody should be expecting more from you than that.
Big thanks for last paragraph, it is quite reassuring. My eyes are literally wet with tears because of all this "am i even a human?" stuff that I am not alone with.
I'm sorry...Jon Arbuckle brought me here...😓
same
Lol same
he does have a great taste in music huh
After all these years Garfield was finally worth it.
Well, at least we found some way here. Even it was because of a Garfield cartoon.
Man. I keep putting off checking out new Will songs, and then when I finally listen, they hit so hard in such a painfully beautiful way. I won't get into a whole vent in a youtube comment but this really resonates. That bittersweet instrumentation that sounds simultaneously hopeful and like you've already accepted hopelessness. That cold feeling of isolation deep in your bones as you look into the warmth you want to believe is possible. The feeling that you're desperately wanting to be a part of something your brain keeps telling you deep down you're not good enough to reach. As usual with a Will song, just...wow.
damn.
it sounds like the dying echoes of disco
I had a really traumatic day yesterday, and this song has cheered me up more than anything else today. Thank you for posting it; this song deserves more recognition.
kid are you ok?????
i hope you are
7cupsoftea is an online thing that offers free therapy, in case you think you need it, ok?
oof
It's like the male protagonist singing on a small stage in a bar a day before leaving the neighborhood where his lover is, right after a breakup.
It's small and looks like a drama queen/king, but it has a certain seriousness to it. Little charm, that's why I like this song.
Love how everyone is either
"This is so relatable.."
"This really helped me."
Or
"JON ARBUCKLE GROOVIN'⁉️"
Definitely one of my favourite songs on the album!!
Same. Other than the singles I really love The Main Character and Half-decade Hangover as well
Oh to sing "against the kitchen floor" in the actual kitchen floor
Relatable
The very last part hit too hard. Truth be told this entire song feels like a story beat for beat of my life and by the end I felt the same as the artist “it has to be all about (my) drama”
I myself am autistic and getting tested for STPD, and I constantly go back to this song or the song "when somebody needs you" also by will wood, It is extraordinarily hard for me to maintain friendships or bonds, not knowing when should I speak at a certain point or thinking if I say this or that it may unsettle the person i'm speaking to. The lyric i can hold your hand but keep you at arms length is pretty relatable too. Whenever I actually do gain a friend, I may come off a bit clingy at times due to being out-casted from my peers . I often slip up sometimes and when I do, usually it's because i say something that comes off as "odd" or if i'm not remaining eye contact with said person. Setting that person off. Making us drift away both really quickly. I try tp repair the relationship but it's like they don't look at me the same, like i'm a alien from outer space or just straight up infantilizing me.
I can relate to an extent. I'm autistic too, but over time I learned how to recognize those social cues and got sort of unnaturally good at it through practice. I hope you can do the same someday. You have my faith in you. ❤
Thank you ❤❤@@thetallpancake
Man, for some reason, I can visualize the perfect dance to just one forty-second segment of this song.
same here (nice kamille pfp btw)
Same
This song reads like an android that's figured out how to navigate the basics of human emotions, but is stymied by figuring out 'love' and is just aware enough to be frustrated by this stumbling block and no I'm not calling myself out like this thankyouverymuch!😤
It's giving Lt Data (/pos)
Dirk Strider?
Genuinely one of the most beautiful songs I have heard in a long, long while.
Well this fits perfectly into my "vibing af and bawling my eyes out" Spotify playlist
As an autistic person who has problems with considering others sometimes and is trying his hardest to change, this song hurts me to hear. Alot of times I don’t even know when I’m being aloof, but it ends up creating tension in even my closest relationships. 😢
Bro couldn't agree more this song is the depiction of autism dealing with love
that ending part when he talks got me
Same that was fucking hilarious
I was cleaning my room and wasn’t really paying attention to the lyrics at all until like 1:13 and that lyric just stuck in my head I had to stop what I was doing and just listen to the song and oh my god???????? Why does this song hit so hard ??????? I have no idea how will wood managed to pack so much content (and/or trauma lol) into like 5 minutes worth of lyrics I’m actually so shaken right now this song is so powerful. Also yes I did come from the John arbuckle meme lmao I saw that video and added the song to my playlist and it finally came up on shuffle today but I’m so glad it did
I kin his songs so fucking hard GODDAMIT
same lmao it attacks me on a molecular level
@@aluminiumcan8566 and he apologise at the end of the song, for WHAT? For making one of HIS BEST SONGS EVER TO PULL OFF??!!?
4:40 JESUS IM SOBBING
3:55
Against the kitchen floor
Against the kitchen floor
"I'm sorry, I promise, I'm doing my best. I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet"
I really relate to that line. As someone who's socially awkward, when I hear, "Humans are a social l species", it makes me feel like I'm failing at being human. But I'm trying. I'm making friends the best I can, and hopefully one day I'll feel normal.
Will Wood's showed up in my recommended for ages, but I never listened to him until my siblings played some of his music while we were doing dishes. The last time I heard such an accurate portrayal of mental illness in music was the first time I listened to Mother Mother. I really hope wherever this guy is, he's getting better.
I cannot believe Jon Arbuckle led me to this absolutely devastating bop of a song pls I’m obsessed fr
Jon Arbuckle a real one for this
God I love how he adds emotions in his songs 😩
It makes it 100x times better than just normally singing it
I listened to this song fully the first playthrough and now I'm against the corner of my room, crying.
It hits in a way, the depression, the guilt, the mistakes I've made. Feeling like I can't make meaningful relationships. I've only been able to make three, and two of them are family members, and one is a friend, now someone I'll be with forever, that I'm too lucky to have made.
I try, I try so fucking hard to make friends, but my ability is so weak from so long being shut in, thinking no one will like me for me. I ended up feeling an unhealthy obsession for the one I care about most, I've been told. To finally come to terms with that is terrifying, because it was something I had always feared. Just two years ago I thought horribly deeply about ending things off because I hadn't tried enough, done enough to make my mother live happily and stress free, or so I thought.
Sometimes I feel like I'll never be good enough no matter how hard I try, and I've been told I never really did try. It hurts, twists deep into my soul, and never lets go.
Sometimes, I feel so, so, so broken. Sometimes I feel like I'm crying too much over nothing. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't try to defend myself, when I've done so much wrong. Or my mind endlessly torments me and convinces me into thinking it's all been my fault. It's absolutely miserable.
And I always said "sorry" too much... To the point where it feels like a phrase of affection to me. And people have never felt as real as I wanted it to be. And I can't understand them...
But maybe someone will end up reading this the full way through, and they'll find it somehow reasonable, and not a neurotic ramble. I wish I could say sorry, even just for typing too much. I guess it's just become a part of who I am, though I try to change it, and though I feel shame for it.
I promise that you're not alone in this. I feel the same way about this song
Same here.🎉
I've just discovered this song from a random algorithm drop from a Jon Arbuckle meme, but holy shit i can unironicly groove to this!! We need more depressing disco and funk!!
The beginning (and throughout the song tbh) really sounds like papa louie’s pizzeria background music and i hate the fact that no one has noticed this.
I heard this and thought it was a Weird Al song, but now that I know it's not I think that makes me happier that 2 people make such bangers
He does sound like Al! He's like Al in an alternate universe, if he was a zoomer and committed himself to more intimate music
Unrelated, but if you’re also looking for someone who makes goofier (less personal) songs I highly recommend Tom Cardy~
this song is god tier to listen to while crying at 3 am, Jon arbuckle groovin 🎉🎉🎉
“Apologising for my life and ever entering yours”
“I’m not a good person, I’m barely a person at all”
That's an excuse sh*tty people use to feel better about themselves!
@@Labyrinth_thoughtsare you ok….?
Haha no!
I have a fiancee I love to death and I have no idea how I'm going to support this relationship. I basically feel like a crossover between a shade, a ghost, and a robot. Removed, detached, apart from. But that crazy woman who doesn't have any idea what she's committing to IS committed to me. So I really feel the vibe of a fucked up person trying to make it work, knowing they're fucking up, and moving on and forgiving the past so they can stay by their beloved's side.
slay
hope it works out between you two.
Hope it works out :)
the best advice I can give is to be honest to your fiancée that you feel this way, genuinely. communication is so important to keeping a relationship healthy
I'm here from a Jon Arbuckle dancing meme. Why are the sad songs always bangers?
I deeply relate to this song because I feel like its about someone who is trying to be better but keeps fucking up in some way, like they want to do better they know they should do better but they just cant.
This song resonates so hard...
FORGET THE KITCHEN FLOOR, IM HITTING THE DANCE FLOOR WITH THIS SHIT LIKE DAMN.
Too relatable on an aromantic level
Oh my god it’s so true!
Thank you 😭😭😭😭😭
This song is so good idk why nobody had made a lyric video for it yet
"i'm not a good person, i'm barely a person at all but someday i'll be perfect and i'll make up for it all"
OK BESTIE NO NEED TO STAB ME WITH MY REFLECTION WHAT THE HELL
“I honestly promise I want to prove improvements possible” :(
The line less diamond then rough is brilliant
There’s this perception that the insecure person in the relationship always wants the other person more than they’re wanted. This song explains why that isn’t always true, and how fucking devastating that is. “What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can’t I love them like they deserve? I’m sorry, I promise, I’m doing my best, I just haven’t learned how to be human as you are yet”
"I can't figure _myself_ out, how the *hell* am I supposed to let you know what I want when _all this time,_ expressing interest, attachment, preference... it's been used to hurt me, _en toto._ And it's 'my fault,' sure. But still... do you _see_ me running away...? Or... am I still here...?"
This is NOT my type of music but God damn if I don't completely and utterly relate to this song
me when i’m down pounding my head against the kitchen floor
Jfc I swear this song just manages to find all of my emotional pressure points it and hits them all at once like some kind of ancient martial arts master. Turning me into a sobbing blob at 4 am, while also being so perfect and groovy.
I relate to this a concerning amount, feels like it was ripped straight out of my brain
The music is so soothing and I swear the relatable lyrics make it more so
1:45 in and I’m crying. Great.
will has this uncanny ability to write the most deeply relatable songs i swear. this man knows what it's like to be mentally ill and In Love
it was so nice of will wood to write a song about me
I never thought such depressing words could be such a bop
Songs like this just decipher and break down emotions people feel and things people go thru and I love it! The vibe of the song at the start being soft and careful to upbeat and layered but still having a few lyrics being the same is just amazing to listen to. Props to Will Wood for being the wondrous dove he is!
I wish my friend never met me.
As someone (with a few mental conditions however not important) and not being able to act properly from a young age wow this song hurts. The lyrics especially the bridge hit like “i really couldn’t tell how deep my footprints went”, “the vertex of my redemption arc”, “how did i cause so much harm” “apologising for my life and ever entering yours”
For the better part of four years i’ve overcome a massive change to myself because of a end of a friendship that caused me to realise how bad of a person i was and how much harm i was causing, (though i am an unrealisable narrator so i cannot tell you if i was as bad as i think i was as i suppressed most of these memorises. I didn’t understand the harm i was causing and maybe if i did i wouldn’t have done the things i did or maybe nothing would have changed as much as i wish, i cannot change the past. Maybe in another universe i wasn’t the way i was and we still could be friends, i truly morn our friendship, he didn’t deserve meeting me.
Two years ago i’ve tried focusing on becoming a better person for this friend even if we’ll never meet again and they’ll never know i’ve changed, i just couldn’t live with them having the memory of how i used to be so i did, i tried, and sure i had some really bad lows but i’d say i’m doing pretty well. I still mess up i still don’t know how to properly act and i’m still trying, since i’ve texted this friend again after four years of no contact apologising for my behaviour and all the wrongs explaining on what caused it (which is a whole other story) but how even so it was unjustified. I still remember joking to myself saying “oh well i guess this concludes my redemption arc” but i could never and still really can’t let go how i used to be, i think i’ll forever regret myself and i truly apologise for everyone who met me back then.
I still look back and wish i could have apologised more and i don’t think i deserve the forgiveness i was given, but i’m grateful nonetheless. I can only hope the friend will remember me as a different person instead of the one they met. i still fear sometimes that i’m the same person and i think i would have a breakdown if anyone told me so but knowing that i fear this told me i’ve changed.
for anyone out there who realise that they have done bad things, it’s not too late to change and maybe no one will realise you have maybe no one will care but it’s better than living with the thought that you are still the same person doming the bad things.
Thank you Jon Arbuckle your grooving has brought me to this beautiful song
It's been awhile since I first heard this song, but no matter how many times I come back to it, it's still deeply relatable.
The neurodivergent energy is strong with this one
Jon has lead me to the good place
I'm a guy named Will who feels the exact same way about myself. I swear I could have written this song
when it gets to 3:32 thats when it hits hard for me, and when it goes to "im down pounding my head against the kitchen floor" it reminds me of my sh. which i've been 2 months clean but today i ruined it. and i relate with this song cause im not even a good person.
My friend hates Jon Arbuckle, so I play the video of him dancing to troll her...and I've fallen in love with this song...THANKS SOPHIE!
people WISH they had as much swagger as jon arbuckle did in that one video with this song
i very much dont relate to the lyrics and yet this song sounds so good like 3:50-4:10 I COULD JAM TO THIS ALL DAY
Oh SURE you dont relate
Feeling like you’re not human yet is something I highly relate to. It feels like something’s gone wrong as I’ve aged, and it’s made me someone I hate. I’m constantly outside of myself with shame for being alive and having to subject others to my company. I feel I have to keep challenging myself in order to reach the level of a functioning human being, but I don’t feel any closer after years of trying. No matter what I do, I’m still a failure of a person.
All in all, song’s made me cry a lot and I’m glad it’s put some words to my thoughts.
Hey Me from a year ago!! The shame and guilt’s lower now, we even have periods of time where we’re happy! Awesome, right? Still learning how to be a functioning human, but the destination is clearer now.
Also you stopped worshipping the christian God, it helped a lot.
There is something so surreal about this song, a song about a man profusely apologizing to a romantic partner he neglected because he genuinely believed they only wanted him for his body so he emotionally distanced himself. I’ve genuinely never felt so much emotional vulnerability through a song before I can literally feel not only that the singer carried this guilt with him for so long but this feels like one of the first times he’s ever been emotionally vulnerable in front of them because it probably is and he for the most part talks about how sorry he is and how he wants to improve. I love Will wood, hope bro heals.
I understand why Jon Arbuckle was grooving to this
Who the hell is jon
And ahhh aaaah aaah a a ah I SWEAAAR gets me every time
This is so accurate on my traumas that it's creepy
💦🔫🐟
_a fish shooting water_
you know those songs where you end up crying so, so fucking hard because this is feels almost exactly what you and your SO are going through and just immediately think "Yeah, I should call him" by the time the song ends?
this is one of them.
... fuck.... i should call him..
Did you end up calling him?
Every time I hear this song, I can only think about the lyrics as a letter Will Wood wrote to himself.
Or maybe this is just a song I think I can only align with the way I feel about myself.
Like... singing in the mirror and being one with myself. No lies, no bullshit. Acknowledgment of the shitty ways I've treated myself in the past and the promise that I'm trying to get better. To love me more.
I swwaaare I will die trying
I think every Will Wood fan is either just really chaotic, or has a traumatic past. Or both.
Or are neurodivergent with mother issues.
Loved this song, such a jam.
It’s been a moment since I’ve related to a song as much as this one
Will, I haven't been able to listen to anything since I heard this song.
“ I just haven’t learned how to be human as you are yet”
:(((((