The most common MALE SEXUAL STRATEGY: most men are taxi cabs
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
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In today's sponsored episode, I respond to a viewer who is asking after the likelihood of successfully turning things around in his marriage after twelve years of "nice guy" behavior. This is a really common problem, and one that comes up again and again in my paid consultations. First, I explain how men tend to find themselves in this predicament to begin with, by discussing the most common male sexual strategy. Then I discuss what to expect if and when you decide to make a change to an established reinforcement protocol.
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#relationship #dating #redpill
In today's sponsored episode, I respond to a viewer who is asking after the likelihood of successfully turning things around in his marriage after twelve years of "nice guy" behavior. This is a really common problem, and one that comes up again and again in my paid consultations. First, I explain how men tend to find themselves in this predicament to begin with, by discussing the most common male sexual strategy. Then I discuss what to expect if and when you decide to make a change to an established reinforcement protocol.
Social Media
Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/
Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks
Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
ruclips.net/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations
Sponsor an episode:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode
#relationship #dating #redpill
The very act of being a nice guy beta husband IS the attraction killer. The husband materiel (s1mp) nice guy is NOT the guy a woman is attracted to, he is the safe bet wallet she settles for. This is why the vast majority of western marriages are dead bedroom.
Add in the female dual mating strategy of alpha fux/beta bux, and the married chump is really in a bad place.
A man who is married has already submitted to her on a knee. Add in 12 years of supplicating "happy wife, happy life" extreme beta behavior and there is zero chance he can turn it around. She will know it's an act and will literally laugh if a married beta tries to act differently.
Basically the 3Ws.
Why are you doing it.
What are you wanting to achieve AND
WHERE YOU ARE GOING TO END UP.
Audio broken on this episode on the right earphone only comes out the left so when using only the right earphone entire video is silent. Just feedback not a complaint
Hes not responsible for her being an abusive partner. No matter how much of a doormat he was it doesnt give her an excuse to be a bad partner. You leave end of story.
@psychacks please check the audio, only the left channel is working.
This reminds me of a comment i read once.
"If you start out a relationship paying for everything, she will expect you to pay every single time. Simply because that's how you advertised yourself to her"
Thatw just your job to provide for the family lol man nowadays have female energy
@@Luzgoishzre Then give me a reason on why I should try hard and provide for someone else that is not me?
Simply saying that it's the man's job to provide isn't wrong, but in the end there has to be a reason on why I should even do that.
After all its hard to take care of someone else and if there's no reason for why I should take on an extra burden, then why do it?
@@Luzgoishzre offsprings it's both our job to provide for them.
an able bodied adult why should i toil and sweat to fund their lifestyle??
i understand helping them wen times are tough but signing to slave all my years for them,what benefit is there to sign away all ur working days sweating for a human being that's capable of doing it for themselves plus they can go and u won't get anything in return for ur hardwork
@@Luzgoishzre EAD
Lots of women end up as taxi drivers just the same, in all kinds of relationships. The advice given her is far more widely applicable than stated.
I'll try to be more direct here. If your relationship is going south and she has lost respect for you, kick her to the curb and start over again as the captain of your own ship. Once respect is gone it's gone.
That's it, but he didn't want to flat out say it. Too hard to hear.
Yes the truth is respect that is gone is extremely hard to gain back , meaning you’re better off starting over again , 95% of the times
He's got two children already. He didn't expressly state anything about her cheating on him or being directly disrespectful.
It's easy for you to give up his relationship, his relationship means nothing to you.
@@nathanbarnhart7823 it probably means nothing to his wife either.
@@brianallen140 You don't know that.
Besides, he's going to do what? Give up half of what he earned over his entire life, lose access to his children, keep making house payments while she's getting railed by half the world all so he can circumvent the difficult work of trying to repair what's he's already built?
Doesn't seem like the most astute option.
As a man you must have leverage and abundance (options) in all things, all success flows from this. You’re married, so you gave up a tremendous amount of leverage (modern marriage is designed to do this).
To use his ship analogy, you need to communicate who you are, what you’re doing, and where you’re going and she can either join you or get off the boat and you have to be prepared for her to leave. Do you even know these things though? It’s tough to convince someone else to join you if you don’t know these things about yourself.
The strongest position in any negotiation is to be able to walk away and mean it.
If you can’t get to that point mentally and have a rock solid grasp on your identity don’t even bother bringing it up.
I often wonder about pick up artists, playing a game to say the right things, calling it confidence. But really he's doing the work so a woman doesn't have to. In some sense this make the man the "slave" to his sex drive.. I have to wonder how successful in life pick artist are beyond their ability to get pussy. I guess in terms of possibly having illegitimated children, on a biological dna level, it's a win.
You absolutely nailed it. When you get married you hand over all the leverage and power in the relationship over to your wife. As she is able to take the money, house and kids on divorce. This means the husband will find it very difficult to exercise any control or ability to walk away. A lot of young guys screw themselves over at the very beginning of a marriage (unless there is an iron-clad pre-nup in place which kind of levels the playing field).
I totally get what you're saying and generally agree with your thoughts. However, you said it yourself, modern marriage disempowers men to a large degree through draconian exit taxes from the relationship, not the least of which is loss of access to your children. Walking away sounds great but when you become a once a month dad most likely, that's a huge loss. Forget about the marriage or relationship, most men, I'd say people in general, don't have kids to be once a month parents. You can say 50-50 or every other weekend but I'm sure most guys would echo this, 50-50 and every other weekend usually becomes once a month or even less. That's a big penalty for walking away. For me, it's the only reason I stay.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 Prenups are great but any family court or divorce judge can throw those out. I'm sure you can fight it but dam, brad pitts still fighting it how many years later? and he's got millions and millions of dollars at his disposal. what hope does the average guy have in getting married. you'd better be loaded and have multiple passports if you really want to get married and still have any leverage.
@@dANbRnL I would never get married again after my divorce. And I hope my son never gets married. Marriage is just a way for the wife to get 1. babies and 2. financial security at the husband's expense. The whole thing is biased against men because she will get custody and as a direct result he will lose his money and house. It's insane when you think about it. But I would rather be a married guy with a prenup than a married guy without a prenup.
This is like maintaining frame. If you lose frame she loses respect and thinks you're a pushover and then comes resentment. Very difficult to get back.
I’m thankful I was disillusioned early in life. I was with her from 17 to 22 and for her it was 15 to 20, just babies both of us. Hardly out of the blue but in one night she instigated an argument, ran off on the beach and threw herself at a guy who’s parents had provided him everything including a house. I retired at 50 with my wife . We have a second home in Thailand and enjoy a nice lifestyle. She recently divorced that same guy when his business failed and the real estate market changed. My buddies ran into her at a party. Quoting them “She didn’t look to good” “her face, I don’t know” “you had that at it’s prime” She was my introduction to hypergamy and I’m glad it was him who payed because it could have easily been me.
did you marry the 1st girl at the gogo bar LMAO
@@Killajmj I get why you’d ask that but no. I met her in the states, good old US of A. I put 25 years in to Law Enforcement and she was an MP at a hospital where I was treated for an injury. Life isn’t without its sense of irony. I’m blessed brother.
You sound spiteful but I can totally relate.
@@ziyou3494 The best spite is time and nature. 👍
A blessing in disguise.
Great example. Just to extend it slightly. There are also lots of other boats and other women around. The woman chooses one captain and one boat, and the journey starts. But the woman can see all the other captains, boats and women storm off head. All of a sudden the woman starts to get angry at her captain and regrets her choice. An empty boat with a new exciting captain pulls up at night and she jumps onto the new exciting boat taking at least half the fuel and money with her. The first captain's boat stops and begins to sink, and she sails off into the sunset with the new guy and the money and the fuel. This is pretty much the state of modern marriage today.
disregarding the modern marriage thing, which is specific to some countries, I think it's excellent that you mentioned that she can see other boats and captains (also the course they take, or at least part of it). Now that one is generic enough to refer to all countries around the globe, and it's really missing in the original analogy.
@@Promet17 the fact she can see other captains/boats/journeys/women on IG is a game changer. It causes a huge amount of unhappiness in a marriage because she begins to think she made the wrong choice, her friends are having a better life, she has ruined her life, you have lied to her because you didn't live up to her expectations, etc. Because of things like IG/Tiktok I don't think marriage is a good idea in 2023.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 You're right, but she doesn't need to have access to internet to see other ships and captains and journeys. She can just talk to a friend who got a seemingly better marriage (and probably left out the problems or the price she paid for it) or watch TV crap (in some unrealistic drama or Hollywood shit movie). Social media just blew an already existing problem out of proportion.
Married 44 years. I worked 80-hr weeks for the first 20 years( 40 hours billed and 40 in development and maintenance). Every step of the way, larger companies and wealthier people stole from me. Of course, they point to their entitlement in their "dog eat dog; pirate ship mentality). I adapted and continued to work hard and stayed honest. My wife married an honest, hard-working craftsman. My major in college was Computer Science in the Engineering Dept. of a major university.
I was a top player in a top league, so the likelihood of making an NFL (ship) was looking good. I did become MVP: defence our senior year. Nine of my teammates eventually played in the NFL.
My ship was launched after those days. It is clear to me now that my college girlfriend was watching the NFL Draft closely. Funny how sports can give us insights that are not obvious to the press, the scouts, nor our potential ship cargo. 😁
*I have been married for 44 years to the best woman I have ever met!*
Although, she is still a woman. 😁
44 years of hard work becomes expected. Then the middle class realizes that they were mislead. Who takes the blame?
*the Captain of the Titanic* 🚣♀️
@@carefulcarpenter The days of 50 year marriages have long gone. Unfortunately, times have changed, and many people just see marriage as a way to get babies and financial security on divorce. Its sad but true. A lot of these millennials will be lucky to see 15 years of marriage let alone 45 years. No wonder marriage rates and birth rates are at an all time low. In the UK 50% of marriages have gone extinct (there used to be 400k marriages/year in the 1970s but now there are only 200k marriages/year). Marriage will go the way of the floppy disk and VHS tape.
Doctor O.T.,, I have been watching your videos for a few weeks now and I must admit that the message you are spreading is spot-on regarding male/female physical and mental tendencies. This message particularly spoke to me because I am that “nice” guy who said “get on my ferry, I’ll take you where you want to go” instead of saying “you can get on my ferry, but here’s the cost” I appreciate your efforts in explaining the deeper truths of men/women and please DO keep publishing videos!!!
Respectfully,
Dave.
He's saying it's better not to advertise yourself as a ferry.
@@autarko agreed, that’s what I was attempting to say, lol
I'd find a new activity for the family, something fun but challenging. Without a word about it, I would take the reins, be the man in charge, quietly holding course, teaching everyone involved, self included, a new rhythm that is satisfying for all.
Genius idea. A sort of Trojan horse to covertly start introducing new norms into the relationship, starting from a seemingly harmless and innocuous arena that is limited in the beginning.
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I admire islam
When it comes to wormen
They use force and public executions that here is forbidden
They dont tolerate shit
As we do
But I will never abandon faith in jesus
For a bitch
Let her be killed by an arab or a niga
They dont tolerate shit
They are not Christians simps as we are
✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️👋👋🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
She has lost respect. Once respect is lost, it’s hard to get it back. If woman doesn’t respect a man, she can’t love that man.
@@sarahrobertson634 very true. Men need to be respected and women need to be loved.
@@sarahrobertson634 and the song was written by a man. Look it up. And biblically, the Bible says that men love their wives, and women, respect your husbands.
@Dustin Quinton That scripture is there, because those are the areas where men and women tend to become complacent. Women, because of their more intense emotions which can lead to disrespect if not being careful and reflecting on their behavior, and men because of tending to focusing logically on what needs to be done and forgetting to take into account his wife's feelings and not doing the little affectionate things that help her feel loved by him and has her feeling special to him.
Overall though, Sarah is right. Both men and women need love and respect. You can't really have one without the other.
@@Leoo117 agreed
Dang, I wish I had heard this as a younger man. I spent too long trying to make the women I’ve been in relationships with happy. Only to realize very recently that I was miserable and so were they.
Thank you! I did it backwards according to most women. I enjoy my life. I have a career now that fits around my life as wife and mother and I don’t regret putting my mating strategy first. Also it’s ok if all you want is to be a homemaker, do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
Always be your best bargain to a man and you'll get his best bargain and be able to keep it. I'd say that, competitively, you positioned yourself as the best bargain to a man and got his best bargain with a common focus on family (big win!). A man won't indefinitely offer his best bargain (there is a narrow window of opportunity... if you miss it, you missed it... as men don't make their best offer throughout their lives.... you really have about a 10 year period in his youth to catch it... when he's ready to offer it... so don't wait till that expires and still 'looking' for a man's grand bargain).
There is a solution is the guy's problem: its called Dread. Thousands of guys, not much different have their journeys detailed on the Married Red Pill subreddit. The question is whether the guy is willing to destroy his marriage in order to achieve what he wants.
I can tell the doctor trying to make reference to it in the end but can't openly say it without upsetting a lot of viewers.
Stellar analysis and analogies…there are more ways to take the red pill/rejecting the blue pill than just getting with a “therapist or life coach.” A determined man can learn from proper examples of other men via reading/videos, etc.
I am close to 50 and never been in a relationship because I got the feeling that I would be used. Very enlightening.
This is sad, you let fear steal the possibility of joy from you. Please consider therapy.
Yes you will be used, but you should be the user as well. It’s about a fair balance of give and take. Essentially like bank accounts. Deposits and withdrawals
@SmileyEnt this is not fucking svb
You were correct
@@mwafrika4 this guy was correct. It could have ended much worse for him than it did for some of the others. Do not shame him. This is a smart man
Um... I believe in the concept of compatibility. Neither the man nor the woman should need to bend over to fit into another persons dream. Be authentic, stop playing games, allow the other person to grow and blossom. Having an honest open conversation about needs reveals pretty quickly if the connection makes sense longterm. If one wants a baby and the other doesn't - this is called incompatibility and both will be happier without each other in the end.
True - this path of going about anything, makes you feel OK about your experiences: "be authentic, stop playing games," and in addition take responsibility for yourself, and take it to your goals step by step, openly. Your partner gets a chance to come along and also improve her/his own life simultaneously.
I love the use of humor in this one. "Is this a fake cab!?"
I find that most people I’ve known, men and women, are completely different than when you originally meet them. I think it’s fair to not want to hang out with someone who switches up on you 💙🙏🏻💙
Doc, your channel is a gold mine and I'm hooked. Keep up the stellar work.
🇪🇺✝️👋👋🙏
🇪🇺🇪🇺🇬🇷🇬🇷🇬🇷✝️👋🙏🙏🙏
I admire islam
When it comes to wormen
They use force and public executions that here is forbidden
They dont tolerate shit
As we do
But I will never abandon faith in jesus
For a bitch
Let her be killed by an arab or a niga
They dont tolerate shit
They are not Christians simps as we are
✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️👋👋🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
We ate not real aryans
Indians and iran are
And arabs are stronger than us
They dknt tolerate feminism and Marxism
@@eliascommentonly4652 I am Iranian.
another brainwashed lonely man , this advice will only stunt your growth
The idea of going into a relationship with the ground rules of what you expect that relationship to be in ten years can not be understated. I learned this one the hard way.
I’d say it depends. Objectively measure how things are going. If you are happy, then keep going with your strategy/dynamic because you have evidence that it works. Be careful when it comes to “grass is greener on the other side” type thoughts. A retail floor worker isn’t going to get treated like a CEO. Status comes from the perception of competence and responsibility. Know who you are and not who you want to be in theory.
If you still want to change the dynamic, your best bet is “boiling the frog.” If you make big changes, she will notice, but you are gambling. She might be positive or push back. Make small changes. For example, if you want to get in shape, don’t go to the gym. Instead, start doing 15 minutes a day of basic calisthenics (pushups, rows, crunches, squats, etc.). Also, make sure it looks logical so she doesn’t catch on. Example: “Why are you doing that? You never used to workout.” Response: “I realized I’m getting older, so I want to stay in basic shape to live longer with you and the kids.”
The key here is to make change in a positive direction that won’t trigger a “crabs in a bucket” reaction from her. With enough small changes over the course of a year, you can change her perception without her noticing it until she sees another woman eying you and becomes conscious of your value. Worst case scenario, you are now literally a better person, so, even if she doesn’t change, you can make the choice to stay or leave for your own reasons. Maybe you stay until the kids are in college? Maybe you leave because you are about to trigger long term alimony. A man who has improved his status has choices and can live without regret.
As a woman, if my man came to me, shared his unhappiness and tried to make me understand what you have shared here, I hope that I could be understanding and sincerely try to be open to change. It can only benefit means our relationship if my partner is happy, and although it might threaten me to shake up the status quo I hope I could be flexible and open to him the same way I would want him to be when I need the same. Great food for thought Doc.
If you have to "hope" (said more than once I note) then you probably wouldn't. "Hope" isn't a plan. Nice sentiments but ultimately of little practical benefit to your man.
@@sammyb1651 Good point. I will rephrase that; I WOULD be understanding and open to change, knowing that our relationship would benefit. Glad you pointed out my hesitation; hope is definitely not as effective as simply getting the job done!
@@sammyb1651 I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to say "hope". We don't completely understand ourselves, so we can't know for sure how we would react in a hypothetical situation that we have never experienced before. If I were unsure that I would be able to do something that I thought I ought to do, I would tell myself, "I ought to do this, I would want to do it if my head were screwed on right, and I will try to do it."
My exgf only dated me on a shot because her original date talked about having problems at work and was not happy. She ghosted his butt and decided to give me a shot. I always remember that
Yes, but is that woman in question as enlightened as you though?
It's all well and good accepting being the taxi driver as long as the passanger is aware of the dynamic enough to appreciate you being you. But a lot of the time the passanger is so used to be driven around she takes it as a default given and therefore demands more and more. As if nothing you do to uphold the relationship is good enough because "that's just how it's supposed to be". And it's small things like taking initiative to be the one who initiates phone calls and/ or is the one to be doing the most travelling to the person. And just an example you think to yourself "will she call me this time" and usually the answer is no, she just gets angry or goes silent because you didn't do "what you were supposed to do" and if you do keep expectedly doing certain things she begins to notice all the things you are not doing or the things you used to do but don't anymore. This isnt all women but it's a lot
Even though there's a very high likelihood that I will never find "the one", or have children, I still like to watch your videos because I like the cut of your jib, you make sense and help me see things in a way I've never seen before with your logic.
This one was very applicable. One of the best you’ve done, and that’s saying something!
"...practicing the relationship you want with her", very well put.
I think an important point that was kind of substated at the end is, know what you want long term before engaging in long term relationships
Please fix your audio Dr Orion, only left ear audio is working.
Incredible. Glad I’m still single and know this stuff now rather than down the line.
You sir just earned a new subscriber. Describer every relationship ive been in
So 90% of relationships are shallow?
100%
Probably!
It would have been good to elaborate more on what the possible alternative might look like in more detail.
The video makes it clear what to avoid but not what might be an alternative strategy to set from the outset
One alternative is the sidekick analogy. She just follows you along your journey. You simply invite her to whatever you want to do together with a chick, and if that's attractive for her, she will be a yes girl.
Nice analogy makes the concept easy to understand.
Thank you for what you’re doing. This one really resonated.
Channel is growing so fast. I’m a damn ferry driver and I’m done with it. But I got 2 kids on the boat now🤦♂️
better late than never. love doesnt exist past 22
In one ear (literally) out the other (metaphorically)
This seems like a lot of things to do just to keep a woman that you have to pay for, and be willing to lay your life down for. The fact that you're putting food on the table and willing to lose your life for her should be enough to maintain sexual attraction. If my life isn't enough to keep a woman or attract one, nothing will.
This is a fundamental problem with relationships. As the husband you end up being responsible for 2 people's happiness. And if you don't change and live up to expectations, the inevitable divorce where you lose your money, house and kids will comes around (or she will at least threaten it). It is a lot to do and it is very risky.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 exactly, I'm not a happiness genie. I was not created to fulfill every empty desire of whimsical women. I'd rather be single in peace. Sex is important, but not as important as my peace.
@@monforttransport 100% agree. I learnt this the hard away after losing 70% of my money and assets (including my house) in my UK divorce. The divorce has left me financially ruined, homeless and alone. I would have been better off just to have not got married in the first place. The problem is, with things like IG, wives can see that their lives are not as amazing as other people's lives, and then they are going to get angry at the husband for failing to provide that same lifestyle. Sad but true. I now just see marriage as a wealth transfer mechanism (it doesn't really have anything to do with long term relationships).
@@monforttransport 💯🔥👊🏻
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 Sad, but true.
I find this funny. I told my wife when we met, I’m living my life and and you can join me if you want to ride along.
i think alot of guys believe that love exists and are trying to get the same love they got from their mother in a woman which is not real or even obtainable
Phenomenal analogy
Thanks for suggesting a solution for this issue.
This is some great information.
Fabulous .. Such a complex dynamics in simple metaphor
So true, and this leads to domestic violence when the man expects that the marriage years would be different than the start, the courtship. And they get mad over the years
Be honest and don’t compromise yourself. And don’t force yourself onto others. Old school psychology in other words has been written before by Susbury in his practical book “the art of selfishness “ in the 1920’s.
Hey doc, appreciate your content - one minor issue: sound balancing.
Sitting here listening through one ear and hearing nothing in the other. Noticing it more in some of your newer content, please check your sound settings!
For the last five years I've felt the only reason girls date me is because they hate to drive and need a choffer. I let my license expire and only walk or take the occasional cab, and girls magically disappeared. The oposite happend five years ago, a girl took me back once I had gotten a vehicle and I was willing to drive for trips. I think my sexual strategy was the literaly the choffer.
Maybe develop your personality
@@jasminerosewater3891 that's a loaded answer, ambiguous but somehow also empty
wat personality??
Maybe learn to spell chauffeur
This is why it’s so important for boys to have male mentorship and a solid core of two - three male friends in their life. Someone smarter than you needs to be there when the overwhelming desire for p*ssy shows up. Many men fall into the ferry captain role simply because they don’t know any better and it’s the path of least resistance. Moreover, if there are too many women in your life they will influence you that being the ferry captain is the right way to go. To use the analogy, I think it makes more sense to begin charting your own course or choose your destination and give her the option to stay or get out of the cab. You have to be prepared for her to get out of the cab though.
I am so gratefull to you making these video's.
Is it me, or there's something wrong with the audio of the video? I can only hear on the left side of my headphones.
This is an interesting and rather humorous analogy. At least at this time stamp 3:55
The premise of what the doctor is, saying is the premise of the man offering himself as a taxi is that he doesn’t value anything he’s bringing to the table, and he only wants one thing from her that has nothing to do with her. Guys to do this doesn’t even know who the woman is. She fits a brand, she fits a profile, she fits a look, she fits a benefit that is all about him and nothing about her. When the man starts to learn more about who this person is outside of his own mental projections, then he ends up, sharing his disillusionment to RUclips channels like this.
Some real truth bombs here sir, thank you.
What you're describing is a potential violation of expectations. Expectations that he set in place and now wants to change. He made a choice to behave in a certain way and now regrets it. It is possible to change her expectations of him and it is possible that she may like the change, and just continue on. But like you said, you can't change one part of a system without it affecting other parts. So if he changes, she may very well need to change in order to adapt to the changes he made.
I'm in the exact same spot except I'm 49.
Through divorce, I'm keeping my job as a water taxi driver, as my soon to be exwife and children depend on the arrangement, but at least now I can explicitly acknowledge that that's the deal and I can take days off.
And divorce law essentially means a man having to invest in a shiny, expensive ferry and upon marriage/cohabiting having to throw the steering wheel overboard.
The transfer of wealth at separation is a metric of inducement to terminate marriages defined by the state.
Great podcasts and chanel.
But the audio sometimes comes out in mono btw
Clearly doc. You ain't have never taken a cab in NYC! j/k - Great advice. Love your content.
At around the 8:30 mark, "dint sit her down and be direct about what you want" - this is why men become manipulative with women rather than directly communicating what's on their mind re: the relationship.
The idea is to be going to the same destination together.
If you are, or she just likes where you're going, she will be a Crew, not a Passenger.
Passengers are short term and don't care about the boat, and only want the Captain to get them where they're going.
Yeah, this is the sad truth of the modern marriage. The man is not the captain, he's the cab driver.
Men happily do this. They meet the girl and they give up all their dreams and live their life for her. And the women hate them for it. Its a sad world
The only issue is that WE EVOLVE constantly and there is no way anyone is able to predict how they wanna relate to another in 12 years’ time 😂
So my suggestion of healthy relating is to do what CEOs do in their businesses - you review and renegotiate regularly, check in with each other if your goals and growth continue being compatible and renegotiate as many times as it takes to stay on track - if the relationship is mutually healthy & valuable, that is of course
I was the taxi driver for many yrs , after i wanted a lift somewhere i was given the finger , so i kicked the passenger out…been riding alone since then & couldn’t be better…
Sorry to nitpick on technical stuff. Your audio is purely in the left channel. Going forward, if you could mix your audio into the left and right, that would be helpful.
I DONT MIND BEING A (LONG TERM) TAXI DRIVER BUT MOST "PASSENGERS" DONT WANT TO PAY...ANYTHING...WHAT TO DO? GET OUT OF MY TAXI?
I like what you're doing.
I want to offer a suggestion to improve your content.
Get two more cameras, position each to the left and right of the current set up.
One can be higher, the other can be lower.
Alternative talking to one of the three cameras.
I know it's extra edit, but it can improve your engagement.
Translation to all Men: Do Not sign a social contract to get the woman in a relationship then, attempt to reconstruct the contract later in order to get what you want. The cab analogy was 💯👍.
Don’t be the ferry captain, be the pirate captain and sign onto your crew. Make her come into your frame(make sure you have a frame).
The day after I got married. My father smiled at me and said, it’s all downhill from here. It shook me to the core. The man clearly knew what he was talking about.
Still I believe, to extend the analogy, in having a fleet across different oceans, if you can do it. She can stay or leave, but I learned from both my grandfathers you’re better off
having a fleet at at least three vastly different harbors. I loved having a sister wife (she passed).
Because three boats is really two, and two is really one, and one boat, is at best half a boat.
Has anyone ever turned around a relationship with a taxi dynamic? I’m guessing not really.
Is that really the end game? Carefully creating the conditions in hopes a woman might stick by your side? A lifetime of mind games so that she’s confident she can’t do better? I’ll find something else to fill my time.
Funnily, the precipice to my divorce was my change in the dynamic in the opposite. When the relationship started it was "I'm going this way, want to come with?" To which she said yes, then I changed to, "Hey lets do what you want?" and it was a shock, she never adapted and when I tried to fix it, it just left everything broke. Took less than a year to come to the end in her mind.
So Dennis was right the entire time. There's an "implication" as the ferry captain 🤣
He knew that this particular presentation was rather complex so he kept saying "Do you understand?" It does succeed in suggesting that relationships can rather easily turn into traps. I believe my father felt trapped once he realized what my mom was really like but it was too late once they had four kids. He rode the marriage out but was not present foe either wife nor his kids. I forgave him as he was also a WW2 vet ( medic) so he came back traumatized and chain-smoking.
Wow, system theory... emergent behavior... pretty cool.
Listening to this guy will keep you single and lonely forever but go off
If it keeps us from toxic women like you, it is probably good advice to listen to. The older you get, the more "Your" chances of being single and lonely become, not ours..
Aka maintain your frame gentlemen. 😊
women complain so much on these topics but given the choice they will ALWAYS in 100% of cases pick a guy who has frame and is alpha. hypergamy hypocrisy 101
The moral of a story is that men should have the attitude "take it or leave it" and never let a woman dictate anything ever.
Cab is a bad analogy because of the drivers seat. The drivers seat implies one being in charge.
This information is in the book The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. A must read in my opinión.
“A boat like this, we call…a ferry.”
ISWYDT
Don't really have any sexual strategy myself because my life does not revolve around the pursuit of sex. If it happens, great, if not, then no great loss.
@PsycHacks - I think some of your videos just have left audio.
same
Same here
right
This is a good , solid idea .
You did have some trouble expressing it .
Got off in the weeds a little .
Rewrite and simplify .
Stick with the ferry metaphor .
You can’t keep the woman’s car on board forever or change the destination .
Ferry boats and their crew are simply utilities .
A means to an end .
You contract to do a job .
A woman like that was never going to be part of the crew , or care about the boat .
First officer positions are what men want to offer , but they are in reality , negotiating to offer women a ride , that’s all .
She gets off at the landing .
And what men are doing is offering her half ownership in their business if she will ride exclusively with them .
She gets to go to her destination , and becomes the majority shareholder in a ferry business .
Not 50-50 , 70-30 … maybe .
Funny how that happens .
As a man , you will find yourself standing on the shore , your boat steaming off without you , as soon as she is unhappy with your performance .
Or she finds a Captain she likes better .
She has her car , and now your boat !
This bit of legal piracy is applauded and rewarded by modern society .
“ You go girl … stick it to the evil male oppressor that represents the patriarchy … “
The answer ?
Keep the conditions of service clear to both crew and passengers .
Don’t mix feelings and business .
This is a ferry service not a houseboat .
This is my boat , you are my guest .
We both know where you are going , and you get off when I tell you to .
Some like being a service provider , and are happy doing that .
Bless them .
Some guys decide to trade their ferry for a sailboat and bum around the islands as an Em Gee Tee Owe Dubya …
They repel all boarders … good on them .
Many ways to sail the seas .
As men , we just need to be real clear what we are doing and why .
FYI the audio is only coming out of the left earbud
This is a good point.
As a man you better set the rules very early on. If she wants on your "boat" then she will board. If she dosnt, she wont.
I think one thing that is missing here is weather these women even make good passengers.
Thanks!
Thank you Dr.!
You the best!
Brilliant analogy!
Do you mean that you should break off the contract immediately & start a new journey under a new contract with/out the same passenger?
Just in case you want to know, your sound is only coming from my left earphone. When an add plays, I hear it through both left and right. Is this Deliberate?
Incidentally, extinction is a questionable theory. Ceasing external motivators is often useless: internal drivers can be perpetual motion machines. Some dogs will bark at everyone who walks by for years, even if not one single person ever even so much as acknowledges its existence. As someone who grew up with an obnoxious little brother who lived to annoy, I found extinction techniques heavily lacking in results
The taxi/cab driver 🙈😆 can you imagine?! 👏🤣
Hey can you talk about the submissive, dominance role in relationship.
3:02 I was thinking "No good sir.... now she rides" Don't mind me.
Can you please do a video on Sigma males? There is so much content on youtube, but it is all generated or read by an AI. I would really like your perspective on the idea of a sigma male. Is it real? Is it horoscope?
Well, the trick is to take her for a ride where you want to go and not just be a chauffeur. As a metaphor, there’s only one God over the Earth and only one Captain over a ship. The Captain can either be freelance and go where he wants to go or go where the ship’s owners want the ship to go. Of course, most women won’t go for the first deal so most men just ending up being chauffeurs in relation-ships.
That was great, honestly just wow
It’s an interesting analogy. Feels old school. In my situation, there is no captain, for 12 years it’s been two clueless owners of the boat looking at a crayon map, making it up as we go. We laugh a lot at our scribbles 😂. Couldn’t be happier.
I support this message.