I leaned into it. I started writing notes to my family. It was a practice exercise i did to help me stop. I got thru a letter and a half and put that thought aside. Nothing i wrote was worthy of hurting the people i loved by leaving. So i opted to work on myself and facing the fear and pain.
@@Vashtibucket You arent a coward. You just dont see another way to stop the hurt. But it can stop. You just have to start walking the path. And the path is difficult, but your beautiful life is worth it. I wish i could cup your face. Do you understand? You are a precious soul, no matter what youve done. You’re here. You got to open your eyes and take breath. Im sending you a big warm hug.
@@Vashtibucket Also, what is causing that feeling? Pay attention to what begins to trigger those thoughts. It means your mind is begging you for a change.
I've been here so often. I've started to recognize that it happens when I'm stressed and I want a way out of the stress. I have to remind myself that it's not normal to want to die
I’m just tired of life I want to sleep for the rest of my life I have no appetite, no interest to step out of my room, I can’t cry, getting bad results in my exams. I feel like I’m a sin I js don’t want to alive anymore.
I’ve been in this place too many times in my life to count. Only actively motivated a few times. Please, if you’re on here and hurting, reach out to someone. If your parents are the reason life hurts so much, reach out to friends or, even a doctor if you have one. A therapist if you have one. And I know religion is so contentious these days, and such a dice roll, but even a pastor or religious figure if you know one who is at all welcoming. I’m praying safety and recovery for everyone who reads these words. So much love to you all. ❤❤❤
im there right now.. i made a promise to my dog when he was a tiny puppy, i would keep my self alive for as long as he lives. he is now 11 years old. and i know for a fact i can not keep on living when he dies…..
and i have told people around me about my promise to my dog. and i have made it clear that my promise to my dog is the only thing that is keeping i alive
@@MrEvrit well my dog is still alive.. but some how, your message asking me how things is going, just made me rethink my situation now here 1 year later..
@@MrEvrit i visited my grandmother almost every day now. me and my dog cones to visit her every 2 days. my grandma forgave me for what i did 2-3 years ago. so i now visit her almost everyday !
Been experiencing it since I was a young teen. In my 30’s now. I acted on it once when I was 15, but regretted it at the last minute and never told anyone. It scared me a lot and I’ve never truly contemplated it since, even though the thoughts are still hanging around.
My ideation became my ace up my sleeve so that I could get through intensive inpatient and outpatient trauma recovery therapy. I always knew that no matter what, if things got bad enough that I could push that ejector button-- knowing I had that option meant I could evaluate every symptom, flashback, etc with "can I make it through this or is it time to go?". Keeping that option in my pocket and acknowledging it was there saved my life. It's not like that for everyone, but it was for me
This is probably the most reasonable short I’ve seen about mental health I’ve ever seen! Anytime see one it’s something stupid like: just stop being depressed!
Yup, I’m not one to commit suicide because from early on I was told you’ll go straight to hell if you did it, but I have DEFINITELY had thoughts of doing it. I’m just so grateful I’m strong enough to stop those thoughts from becoming a reality for me. All Praises to The Most High God🙌🏾🙌🏾
My son has just lost his dad and I’ve noticed being dead is something he thinks when he’s really frustrated about something as he will say it out allowed. Since his dad died it said like there is no fear of death. It’s hard to know what to say in the moment but I just remind him he’s loved and there are other choices.
I’ve been suicidal since I was 8, the only reason I haven’t gone through with it is bc of religious trauma. I was raised to be super religious, which led me to commonly having panick attacks as a child bc “I was sining” over something as simple as wearing pants as a girl. I was taught that the Bible says suicide is a sin and will lead you to hell. Although I’m thankfully not religious anymore, I still have that fear of what if god actually exists and I commit suicide therefore I’ll be in hell for all eternity.
Well, the good news is that God loves you for you and wants a relationship. Period. That comes with all the difficulties of any relationship, and it’s hard for us when we can’t blame our behavior on the other person for being wrong because… God. But that doesn’t mean God stops loving you. Just wants you - us - to keep coming back, even in all our imperfections. And I don’t mean wearing pants, or even identifying as trans, or anything else a person could think of. I’m saying this for my own sake as much as yours. Because I’m heartbroken that religious abuse is so pervasive that it fills people who genuinely hope God is as good as the Bible says with dread that they are worthless and hated. I don’t know you, but I know first principles. I’ve encountered God’s love, and it’s open to everyone, regardless. Trauma makes relationship hard and we can screw up so badly that continuing seems inconceivable. But the kind of love at play here is the kind that will welcome you back at even the faintest glimmer of intent. Don’t give up.
Thank u for this 💓 I think I have depression cuz I have the following symptoms: Lost my appetite 😒 I'm feeling so tired all the time Always feel very tearful the whole day 😢 Can't sleep properly, and when I sleep, I can't get out of bed. It's very hard 😪 Don't find pleasure in things I used to do Don't feel like doing anything, just crying the whole day 😢 Suicidal and self harming thoughts All those symptoms have been going on for 6 months now
go to a functional medicine doctor - you might have thyroid/autoimmune/hormone problems that have all the symptoms you are describing. Don't waste your time going to a regular doctor or specialist because they don't know how to diagnose and treat these things.
@@Sophia.tawaji It depends how suicidal you are. If you are serious about killing yourself they will probably send you to a short term psychiatric hospital. If you feel suicidal but aren't planning on attempting then you will probably be given medication, therapy or both. Also I live in the USA. If you live in another country this might not apply.
I had this when I worked in the COVID ward over 80 hours/week. I would just hope that I did not wake up the next day. Got COVID and died or was hit by a car on the way to work. I never got COVID and there were not many cars on the road at the time 😂. Thank God I went back to my previous position and work more normal hours.
I'm so sorry, I totally relate to what you're saying; I'm in the medical field and felt the same way. I never got covid either, strangely, or if I did, I didn't have symptoms. I was (am) so stressed out I lost half my hair and cracked two teeth from clenching them so tight as I slept. I've spent thousands of dollars on crowns and a bite guard. We are still very short staffed to the point that I still can't even take a short vacation even though my PTO hours are maxed out and not accruing anymore. Management has no answers as every hospital in our system (and by the looks of other hospitals in the local job market) is in the same boat. I don't know what to do. I don't want to quit my job... I love my job... I just desperately NEED a break before I break. My personal life and my mental health are suffering greatly and there just doesn't seem to be any answers.
@@ahantoine I would have to have a doctor's note for anything over 3 days I think, and I need way more than 3 days off. I can't even get a two week vacation... I can't even remember the last time I had 2 weeks off. There simply is not enough staff either. I could maybe try to take a leave of absence but it has to be approved by my manager and I don't see that happening. Plus they don't have to hold your job for you until you come back... not that there's anyone applying for any openings right now.
Since 2009 I’ve lost 3 good friends, a good friend’s father, whom I knew well, and one of my favorite uncles. When I told my psychiatrist about the third one she literally blurted out, “oh my god! What’s going on‽” I had the same thing running through my mind. Tbh, their losses guarantee I’ll never give in. The fact that it doesn’t end ones pain, it simply multiplies it and gives it to ones loved ones keeps running through my head. Fuck that.
I think it's an appropriate reaction. Feeling suicidal is an act of rejection to the circumstances and pain you are experiencing for no purpose at all. You are thrown in a world with harmful people, corrupt societies, injustice and all that makes you evil too as you are part of this ethical conundrum that does translate into endless suffering. These things do deserve rejection and removing yourself from them makes sense. It's just honest. You deserve to feel like you don't deserve all these problems and fuck them too. Also, there's a lot in this world that is beautiful and meaningul. You should feel pleasure in living because of them. I'm talking about sunsets, nature and anything that inspires awe. Let's just not neglect that wanting to die is a perfectly reasonable emotional state that doesn't need to be hidden.
Nature is beautiful because gives hope for the better, but sometimes it's an "illusion". For example a beautiful landscape is generally a privileged point of view (so you can dominate everything you need to take control) with a lot of services to stay healthy (like clean water, plants, animals). But when you feel really hopeless, you know there is nothing good you can reach in life, the world is not for you, nature became an enemy, it remember you of everything you can't reach. It defeats you at the game of life. In simple terms everything is beautiful when you feel you can have what you want and feel an active part of nature, when you feel out of life there is no landscape that can save you.
I can’t keep death off my mind. My parents, my cats, my kids, nephews and nieces, everyone I know and love. I’m so aware of the ephemerality of life. It feels like a sword or a guillitine blade hanging overhead. As for myself, I am so scared of the actual experience of dying, despite that I won’t remember it, being as far as I’m aware once I cease to live, I cease to exist, and all that’s left are my leftovers, hopefully still useful for people who need organs, or at least for use by medical students. I suppose it’s partly a serious sense of FOMO, I kind of imagine my viewing as though I’ll be able to witness it; combined with the suffering I fear my family enduring. At the same time and more to the point of this Short, I quite frequently think about how it would be easier to cease to be. I haven’t attempted, to any degree at all, to do anything drastic since I was maybe 18 or 19, so some 25 years ago, and I don’t actually experience thoughts of doing anything, I just passively imagine how much easier life would be if it wasn’t anymore. Just random, “yeah, this sucks. It’d be easier if I weren’t alive.” But I don’t actually want to crave to be. Now this is coming from the perspective of a non-believer and I’m not interested in discussing that here, but I suppose that thoughts like these do qualify as passive suicidal ideation. I firmly believe that this is my only chance, and the only way I’ll live on is through my children and my impact on my teeny tiny part of the world. Oh, diagnosed BPD and ADHD and yes, I am in treatment and heavily medicated, and everyone around me is well aware of my history and thee thoughts. I’m not going anywhere any time soon if I have anything to say about it.
Maybe not now, but when the time comes, I'd definitely resort to one of those options. What is the purpose of living when everything is toxic and killing you from the inside.
For me, it has been the opposite. I used to be severely depressed and suicidal. But ever since I separated from my toxic family, I've only been experiencing it passively. Ironically, thinking about ending myself as an option makes me braver because it's like a safety net. So it gives me bravery to venture into "other options" which is actually solving my problem without the fear of it getting worse or messing it up. I have to clarify this is not advice. I'm just sharing my experience. I'm obviously traumatized.
I have a question; are healthy people usually not suicidal? Do people without mental illness never wish to be dead? That idea is wild to me. I’ve been chronically suicidal for 34 years since age 9, and I can’t really remember what it’s like to not constantly long to be dead, as I’ve only experienced real happiness (without the looming shadow of severe chronic depression) during the first 7-8 years of my life. I can’t even fathom being content to be alive, that’s so foreign to me.
I’ve had these thoughts since I was 8 and was attempted 2 but one was interrupted and I stopped the other one myself. I don’t wanna be here and nothing and no one is enough to make me want to stay. I honestly don’t know how much longer I can do this.
Just Thinking and feeling this way is Crippling 😢I feel like my Biological Clock at 40 said times up and I’m 43 years old taking Anti depressants to keep going.
This is me deep down I do would like to end my life just to scared to do anything about it. Wish there was an easy way to sleep and never wake up. I don't enjoy these thoughts
I have a plan. The tree in the field behind my house that I grew up in. I actually sat under that tree, and thought about it at 12. I just never wanted anyone to find me. It will be in a field, under a tree... When you've "ruminated" for this long, it's... exhausting, i guess? It's not life events. It's not being able to deal with the slightest normal life. I am AuDHD. Clearly always have been, and I always thought I was broken. I know better, but goddamn if leaving early isn't still a seductive option... My mother did. After trying (overdosing) over and over again when I was a child. Until I wasn't, and then she did... She did the thing. And I am left with... nothing and everything all at once. And none of the courage I need? Was it courage, Mommy? What was it, in those last moments? I would have gotten there. The weather was impossible. But me staying on the phone? I deserve every ache, every lonely pain. I wanna be where you are, Mommy. That's all...
Gee this is exactly how I have lived my life sadly - by thinking about suicide it kind of " relaxs" you by thinking the way you said - " if life gets to hard I'll just kill myself"- by keeping that option open it helps to cope - but unfortunately it's only self destructive in the end and means you lead a miserable life- stay positive people!😘
I have those thoughts randomly every day, like my mood changes drastically and my view become darker. My passive suicidal thoughts are a sign of something pathological?
I didn't realize until it became a joke, but my answer to pretty much every 'what if' question my entire adult life has been that I'll just kill myself😂.
What if I have no interest k*lling myself but at times I start to think if I died of a natural cause or of an accident or the world overall ended then it wouldn’t be so bad? I get too tired and find peace in thought of having lived all the life that was meant for me and meeting death when it’s my time.
There needs to be a distinction between suicidal thoughts as a symptom of mental illness and suicide existing as just another tool in ones toolbox when navigating the world. As Ernst Junger wrote: “Freedom is based on the anarch’s awareness that he can kill himself. He carries this awareness around; it accompanies him like a shadow that he can conjure up. “A leap from this bridge will set me free.” " If the society would be truly based, it would be possible to go to psychologist for advice on how to mentally prepare to suicide. Like "I have an excessive aversion to suicide that limits my freedom of choice, what could we do about it?" XD .
Both kinds of thinking are okay. If not for suicide ideation, I'd have gone mad long ago. There's a comfort in it. Then I got stage 4 cancer, and that made it a lot better, less pressure to figuring out my own death.
Yeah sometimes when cleaning the dishes or wtv I'll just put the big steak knife on my throat and put just a little pressure until it bleed and tell myself that I could end it if I wanted to It's just so comforting I'm not exactly suicidal
![Megan Thee Stallion - Bigger In Texas [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QxTkZTLWdo4/mqdefault.jpg)
I don't plan on doing it, but I find comfort knowing it's an option
Same, it’s nice to know it’s an option
ARE YALL OKAY?
@@average.sturniolotripletsfan.9real
@@average.sturniolotripletsfan.9 they clearly aren't mentally and neither am i
@@anotherominousme neither
I wish I could overcome this. It’s a constant struggle.
I leaned into it. I started writing notes to my family. It was a practice exercise i did to help me stop. I got thru a letter and a half and put that thought aside. Nothing i wrote was worthy of hurting the people i loved by leaving. So i opted to work on myself and facing the fear and pain.
@@cristymakes6026That’s kind of you to not wanna hurt your family. I wish I could be that selfless. But I’m not, I’m just a coward.
@@Vashtibucket You arent a coward. You just dont see another way to stop the hurt. But it can stop. You just have to start walking the path. And the path is difficult, but your beautiful life is worth it. I wish i could cup your face. Do you understand? You are a precious soul, no matter what youve done. You’re here. You got to open your eyes and take breath. Im sending you a big warm hug.
@@Vashtibucket Also, what is causing that feeling? Pay attention to what begins to trigger those thoughts. It means your mind is begging you for a change.
I struggle as well
I've been here so often. I've started to recognize that it happens when I'm stressed and I want a way out of the stress. I have to remind myself that it's not normal to want to die
Sadly in todays world it’s becoming more and more ‘normal’.
Stay strong people
i’m confused isn’t passive ideation not wanting to die but not minding if a semi truck rams your car while in stand still traffic
I’m just tired of life
I want to sleep for the rest of my life
I have no appetite, no interest to step out of my room, I can’t cry, getting bad results in my exams.
I feel like I’m a sin
I js don’t want to alive anymore.
I’ve been in this place too many times in my life to count. Only actively motivated a few times. Please, if you’re on here and hurting, reach out to someone. If your parents are the reason life hurts so much, reach out to friends or, even a doctor if you have one. A therapist if you have one. And I know religion is so contentious these days, and such a dice roll, but even a pastor or religious figure if you know one who is at all welcoming.
I’m praying safety and recovery for everyone who reads these words. So much love to you all.
❤❤❤
Thanks
im there right now.. i made a promise to my dog when he was a tiny puppy, i would keep my self alive for as long as he lives.
he is now 11 years old. and i know for a fact i can not keep on living when he dies…..
and i have told people around me about my promise to my dog. and i have made it clear that my promise to my dog is the only thing that is keeping i alive
Hey man, how are you?
@@MrEvrit well my dog is still alive..
but some how, your message asking me how things is going,
just made me rethink my situation now here 1 year later..
@@MrEvrit i visited my grandmother almost every day now.
me and my dog cones to visit her every 2 days.
my grandma forgave me for what i did 2-3 years ago.
so i now visit her almost everyday !
@@MrEvrit so thank you! for reminding me. that things can get better!!
Been experiencing it since I was a young teen. In my 30’s now. I acted on it once when I was 15, but regretted it at the last minute and never told anyone. It scared me a lot and I’ve never truly contemplated it since, even though the thoughts are still hanging around.
Wishing you all the best
My ideation became my ace up my sleeve so that I could get through intensive inpatient and outpatient trauma recovery therapy. I always knew that no matter what, if things got bad enough that I could push that ejector button-- knowing I had that option meant I could evaluate every symptom, flashback, etc with "can I make it through this or is it time to go?". Keeping that option in my pocket and acknowledging it was there saved my life. It's not like that for everyone, but it was for me
This is probably the most reasonable short I’ve seen about mental health I’ve ever seen! Anytime see one it’s something stupid like: just stop being depressed!
I’ve had those thoughts since I was 9, I’m 44 now. They come and go
I completely agree. Imagining what it would feel like drowning gives me breath for the time being
Yup, I’m not one to commit suicide because from early on I was told you’ll go straight to hell if you did it, but I have DEFINITELY had thoughts of doing it. I’m just so grateful I’m strong enough to stop those thoughts from becoming a reality for me. All Praises to The Most High God🙌🏾🙌🏾
You really know stuff Doctor. Thanks for passing on your knowledge.
My son has just lost his dad and I’ve noticed being dead is something he thinks when he’s really frustrated about something as he will say it out allowed. Since his dad died it said like there is no fear of death. It’s hard to know what to say in the moment but I just remind him he’s loved and there are other choices.
I’ve been suicidal since I was 8, the only reason I haven’t gone through with it is bc of religious trauma. I was raised to be super religious, which led me to commonly having panick attacks as a child bc “I was sining” over something as simple as wearing pants as a girl. I was taught that the Bible says suicide is a sin and will lead you to hell. Although I’m thankfully not religious anymore, I still have that fear of what if god actually exists and I commit suicide therefore I’ll be in hell for all eternity.
Well, the good news is that God loves you for you and wants a relationship. Period. That comes with all the difficulties of any relationship, and it’s hard for us when we can’t blame our behavior on the other person for being wrong because… God.
But that doesn’t mean God stops loving you. Just wants you - us - to keep coming back, even in all our imperfections. And I don’t mean wearing pants, or even identifying as trans, or anything else a person could think of.
I’m saying this for my own sake as much as yours. Because I’m heartbroken that religious abuse is so pervasive that it fills people who genuinely hope God is as good as the Bible says with dread that they are worthless and hated.
I don’t know you, but I know first principles. I’ve encountered God’s love, and it’s open to everyone, regardless. Trauma makes relationship hard and we can screw up so badly that continuing seems inconceivable. But the kind of love at play here is the kind that will welcome you back at even the faintest glimmer of intent.
Don’t give up.
💜
It’ll all be over at some point anyway. May as well see what’s around the corner til then I guess.
That's what keeps me here.
Thank u for this 💓 I think I have depression cuz I have the following symptoms:
Lost my appetite 😒
I'm feeling so tired all the time
Always feel very tearful the whole day 😢
Can't sleep properly, and when I sleep, I can't get out of bed. It's very hard 😪
Don't find pleasure in things I used to do
Don't feel like doing anything, just crying the whole day 😢
Suicidal and self harming thoughts
All those symptoms have been going on for 6 months now
go to a functional medicine doctor - you might have thyroid/autoimmune/hormone problems that have all the symptoms you are describing. Don't waste your time going to a regular doctor or specialist because they don't know how to diagnose and treat these things.
@@cici-z5n how can u tell they can't diagnose and treat these things
A regular doctor would probably offer you antidepressants.
@@Catlily5 what will happen if I tell my doctor I am suicidal
@@Sophia.tawaji It depends how suicidal you are. If you are serious about killing yourself they will probably send you to a short term psychiatric hospital. If you feel suicidal but aren't planning on attempting then you will probably be given medication, therapy or both.
Also I live in the USA. If you live in another country this might not apply.
I had this when I worked in the COVID ward over 80 hours/week. I would just hope that I did not wake up the next day. Got COVID and died or was hit by a car on the way to work. I never got COVID and there were not many cars on the road at the time 😂. Thank God I went back to my previous position and work more normal hours.
god that sounds brutal
I'm so sorry, I totally relate to what you're saying; I'm in the medical field and felt the same way. I never got covid either, strangely, or if I did, I didn't have symptoms. I was (am) so stressed out I lost half my hair and cracked two teeth from clenching them so tight as I slept. I've spent thousands of dollars on crowns and a bite guard. We are still very short staffed to the point that I still can't even take a short vacation even though my PTO hours are maxed out and not accruing anymore. Management has no answers as every hospital in our system (and by the looks of other hospitals in the local job market) is in the same boat. I don't know what to do. I don't want to quit my job... I love my job... I just desperately NEED a break before I break. My personal life and my mental health are suffering greatly and there just doesn't seem to be any answers.
@@SweetStuffOnMonarchLanecan't you take some sick leave instead of vacation leave?
@@ahantoine I would have to have a doctor's note for anything over 3 days I think, and I need way more than 3 days off. I can't even get a two week vacation... I can't even remember the last time I had 2 weeks off. There simply is not enough staff either. I could maybe try to take a leave of absence but it has to be approved by my manager and I don't see that happening. Plus they don't have to hold your job for you until you come back... not that there's anyone applying for any openings right now.
@@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane so you want to wait to drop out of exhaustion to have a more serious reason to call the doctor?
My advice as a medical professional is to say sleep on your thoughts don't act on them.
It can work sometimes but if you try to sleep but anxiety and negativity take over your sleep?
And don't expect an easy fix to a hard problem
Since 2009 I’ve lost 3 good friends, a good friend’s father, whom I knew well, and one of my favorite uncles. When I told my psychiatrist about the third one she literally blurted out, “oh my god! What’s going on‽” I had the same thing running through my mind. Tbh, their losses guarantee I’ll never give in. The fact that it doesn’t end ones pain, it simply multiplies it and gives it to ones loved ones keeps running through my head. Fuck that.
Thank you for this ❤
I think it's an appropriate reaction. Feeling suicidal is an act of rejection to the circumstances and pain you are experiencing for no purpose at all. You are thrown in a world with harmful people, corrupt societies, injustice and all that makes you evil too as you are part of this ethical conundrum that does translate into endless suffering. These things do deserve rejection and removing yourself from them makes sense.
It's just honest. You deserve to feel like you don't deserve all these problems and fuck them too.
Also, there's a lot in this world that is beautiful and meaningul. You should feel pleasure in living because of them. I'm talking about sunsets, nature and anything that inspires awe.
Let's just not neglect that wanting to die is a perfectly reasonable emotional state that doesn't need to be hidden.
Nature is beautiful because gives hope for the better, but sometimes it's an "illusion". For example a beautiful landscape is generally a privileged point of view (so you can dominate everything you need to take control) with a lot of services to stay healthy (like clean water, plants, animals). But when you feel really hopeless, you know there is nothing good you can reach in life, the world is not for you, nature became an enemy, it remember you of everything you can't reach. It defeats you at the game of life. In simple terms everything is beautiful when you feel you can have what you want and feel an active part of nature, when you feel out of life there is no landscape that can save you.
I can’t keep death off my mind. My parents, my cats, my kids, nephews and nieces, everyone I know and love. I’m so aware of the ephemerality of life. It feels like a sword or a guillitine blade hanging overhead.
As for myself, I am so scared of the actual experience of dying, despite that I won’t remember it, being as far as I’m aware once I cease to live, I cease to exist, and all that’s left are my leftovers, hopefully still useful for people who need organs, or at least for use by medical students.
I suppose it’s partly a serious sense of FOMO, I kind of imagine my viewing as though I’ll be able to witness it; combined with the suffering I fear my family enduring.
At the same time and more to the point of this Short, I quite frequently think about how it would be easier to cease to be. I haven’t attempted, to any degree at all, to do anything drastic since I was maybe 18 or 19, so some 25 years ago, and I don’t actually experience thoughts of doing anything, I just passively imagine how much easier life would be if it wasn’t anymore. Just random, “yeah, this sucks. It’d be easier if I weren’t alive.” But I don’t actually want to crave to be.
Now this is coming from the perspective of a non-believer and I’m not interested in discussing that here, but I suppose that thoughts like these do qualify as passive suicidal ideation. I firmly believe that this is my only chance, and the only way I’ll live on is through my children and my impact on my teeny tiny part of the world.
Oh, diagnosed BPD and ADHD and yes, I am in treatment and heavily medicated, and everyone around me is well aware of my history and thee thoughts. I’m not going anywhere any time soon if I have anything to say about it.
Maybe not now, but when the time comes, I'd definitely resort to one of those options. What is the purpose of living when everything is toxic and killing you from the inside.
For me, it has been the opposite. I used to be severely depressed and suicidal. But ever since I separated from my toxic family, I've only been experiencing it passively.
Ironically, thinking about ending myself as an option makes me braver because it's like a safety net. So it gives me bravery to venture into "other options" which is actually solving my problem without the fear of it getting worse or messing it up.
I have to clarify this is not advice. I'm just sharing my experience. I'm obviously traumatized.
I have been actively suicidal off and on before 2009. I have been passively suicidal off and on since then. I have PTSD, Bopolar and autism.
Dr tracy thanks
I have a question; are healthy people usually not suicidal? Do people without mental illness never wish to be dead? That idea is wild to me.
I’ve been chronically suicidal for 34 years since age 9, and I can’t really remember what it’s like to not constantly long to be dead, as I’ve only experienced real happiness (without the looming shadow of severe chronic depression) during the first 7-8 years of my life.
I can’t even fathom being content to be alive, that’s so foreign to me.
There are people who wouldn't never be dead
I’ve had these thoughts since I was 8 and was attempted 2 but one was interrupted and I stopped the other one myself. I don’t wanna be here and nothing and no one is enough to make me want to stay. I honestly don’t know how much longer I can do this.
As I get older and know the risk of my dx, it becomes a fear as the behaviour becomes more active
Comforting words of advice for someone who may have heard that from another person or thought that 😮
So should I be concerned about it or not? You didn't actually say. Very informative though, thanks Dr Marks.
I can’t stop thinking about it,I got suicidal thoughts when I was 8,I’m not okay…
Just Thinking and feeling this way is Crippling 😢I feel like my Biological Clock at 40 said times up and I’m 43 years old taking Anti depressants to keep going.
It’s an option
I say it in my head daily, but I never act on it.
I have gone through so much and the loss of my son is an invitation....i am so tired..
This is me deep down I do would like to end my life just to scared to do anything about it. Wish there was an easy way to sleep and never wake up. I don't enjoy these thoughts
My advice as a depressed person is abuse some of the less dangerous substances.
For what? It'll probably bring you short term joy, but you'll become even more miserable long term. So what's a point of doing that?
With me, i feel like i should and that it’s the only option, but at the same time, im to scared to
I only feel this way when I'm not getting the help I need.
This is true
I have a plan.
The tree in the field behind my house that I grew up in.
I actually sat under that tree, and thought about it at 12.
I just never wanted anyone to find me.
It will be in a field, under a tree...
When you've "ruminated" for this long, it's... exhausting, i guess?
It's not life events.
It's not being able to deal with the slightest normal life.
I am AuDHD.
Clearly always have been, and I always thought I was broken.
I know better, but goddamn if leaving early isn't still a seductive option...
My mother did.
After trying (overdosing) over and over again when I was a child.
Until I wasn't, and then she did...
She did the thing.
And I am left with... nothing and everything all at once.
And none of the courage I need?
Was it courage, Mommy?
What was it, in those last moments?
I would have gotten there.
The weather was impossible.
But me staying on the phone?
I deserve every ache, every lonely pain.
I wanna be where you are, Mommy.
That's all...
Gee this is exactly how I have lived my life sadly - by thinking about suicide it kind of " relaxs" you by thinking the way you said - " if life gets to hard I'll just kill myself"- by keeping that option open it helps to cope - but unfortunately it's only self destructive in the end and means you lead a miserable life- stay positive people!😘
How do I stop fighting I just want peace in this world... And how do I stop my suicidal thoughts..? I'm too young..
I have those thoughts randomly every day, like my mood changes drastically and my view become darker. My passive suicidal thoughts are a sign of something pathological?
I didn't realize until it became a joke, but my answer to pretty much every 'what if' question my entire adult life has been that I'll just kill myself😂.
So how should we deal with this?
this is me!!
As bipolar I get concern about it when it happends in eutimia, like now-
What if I have no interest k*lling myself but at times I start to think if I died of a natural cause or of an accident or the world overall ended then it wouldn’t be so bad? I get too tired and find peace in thought of having lived all the life that was meant for me and meeting death when it’s my time.
For me it's an option but I have a plan and I want to but idk when/if I will try..... :(
Please try to stay. I know it's hard.
There needs to be a distinction between suicidal thoughts as a symptom of mental illness and suicide existing as just another tool in ones toolbox when navigating the world.
As Ernst Junger wrote:
“Freedom is based on the anarch’s awareness that he can kill himself. He carries this awareness around; it accompanies him like a shadow that he can conjure up. “A leap from this bridge will set me free.” "
If the society would be truly based, it would be possible to go to psychologist for advice on how to mentally prepare to suicide.
Like "I have an excessive aversion to suicide that limits my freedom of choice, what could we do about it?" XD .
I wish I wasn’t like this. Never got whatever I wanted. Why did it happen to me? Anyone?
i just dont know man.
Both kinds of thinking are okay. If not for suicide ideation, I'd have gone mad long ago. There's a comfort in it. Then I got stage 4 cancer, and that made it a lot better, less pressure to figuring out my own death.
I plan on it when the shit hits the fan. But it might be a few years before then
Why is it me I want to die or disappear but I could never get myself to do it
I've tried many times I've failed a lot I've had 120 thiughts this month I'm only 12
Idk its past passive im fuckin ready to go but fuck it just one more day
😘😘Tracey
Is my FY page reading my mind now? 👀 (Not depressed but yep...)
Nope
Yeeeeep
I have not sūį$åd3d yet because I have two daughters,an if I did it I couldn't donate my organs.
I've tried pills just made me vomit
A great escape? Yea ok.
Yeah sometimes when cleaning the dishes or wtv I'll just put the big steak knife on my throat and put just a little pressure until it bleed and tell myself that I could end it if I wanted to It's just so comforting I'm not exactly suicidal
ehhhhmmmm... thats a lot, dude
Do you really think you're able to kill yourself in that way? It's a lot of pain
Stay out of my head!!!
Just @ me next time