I remember once wishing for more drama in my life and then getting what I wished for. That was when I came alive and learnt the most about myself and the world around me.
I have lived, and now I'm appreciating my pipe and slippers years. It's boiling this down to everyday tasks that helps me. "That was difficult but it was worth it." Like eating right, or keeping the kitchen clean. Working in the garden. Fixing a drain, or dare I say, cleaning your room. I like that aspiring to better things happens on the grand scale, but it's in the mundane things too.
@@JoesWebPresence - My father and my maternal grandmother taught me how to make mundane tasks fun. I just never lost that...except for doing dishes after supper. I always hated it and now I don't have to unless I want to and I NEVER want to!
@@Ybereza69 Yes, but you pull through and know that you did it and learnt from it. I've had some awful times but here I am now looking back and realizing that it did not destroy me, in fact it was the making of me. That said, I don't want any more drama in my life just interesting challenges.
I retired about a year ago. I have a bad back and neck. I bought a house to renovate. Everyone said I was crazy but it's the best thing I could have done. It's physically and mentally great for me. We all need a challenge. Playing in a blues band as well and getting involved in church. The wife would have me on permanent holiday. How tragic that would be. We travel for 3mths. I want to keep doing until everything stops; trying to add goodness to the lives of everyone I come across. That is my great adventure
Oh guy you have found the secret of life : have a purpose. We bought a house in a tropical country small simple on a nice size plot of land on the side of an extinct volcano in Latin America. My mate hired local workers ...he had been a builder/developer before I met him made and lost a million dollars in the 70s when Carter doubled interest rates. His wife walked out on him saying I married you for your potential. I met him the night his divorce was final. I was widowed for a year and a half. I was 33 and he was 37. I fell in love with him and he with me right away. He was my soulmate and I never believed in such things. I liked adventure. A big attraction that we both adored sailing we bought a small weekend boat almost right away. I convinced him to travel to Mexico which I had loved since childhood. He liked it... YAY. We went there as semi backpackers to meet sailing friends every CHristmas for a decade. We formulated a plan...to retire early and sail amd one day later when we couldnt lift the sails anymore we would retire in Latin America. He taught me investing and I invested my retirement money in tech stocks in the 90s. I did well...only becuase HE taught me. So at 50.and 55 we did it, we bought a big boat 45ft he gutted it and rewired, plumbed completely refitted it he loved working with his hands on it with just a Mexican helper. That gave him joy and gave me great confidence in that boat ...I trusted his skills. And off we sailed for several glorious years...what a beautiful simple boat life we had. Then the day came we needed to move on. We sold the boat bought that house and set about turning into an Alhambra like dream home. I drew it out taught myself architectural drawing and he supervised the build. Then as a hobby artist I picked the youngest of the crew who could draw and we handpainted tiles, built fountains, made mosaics, painted entire wall treatments it took years to get this labor of love finished and it healed my mate completely from his former loss. People ooh and ahh at our home. We got to spend a total of 25 years in retirement before he passed away last year next to me without a sigh, peaceully of a silent heart attack. How I loved that man and how I miss him...I will NEVER LEAVE THIS HOUSE. During COVID we made wills here leaving this house to the young man who helped me decorate it. He had learned English, how to drive, how to cook all the foods my mate loved in case I died first. He knows how to maintain the house and how to pay all our bills , he cleans the house, he does everything but the gardening, even driving me when I wish...his father works three days a week maintaining the garden. I have a millionaire's lifestyle due to my very wise mate. I only spend my social security, the rest is earmarked for later because who knows final health costs and inflation. You GO guy...enjoy the sense of satisfaction...your wife will appreciate it all ñater evenif she wants you to kick back now. Nothing in life is so beautiful as a sense of purpose!
Now retired I make things HARDER. Take it easy - I don't think so. Learn new things. Walk for miles. Build stuff. Go fishing in innacessible places. Gardening and growing food. Spending time with friends. Rise to the challenge and succeed or fail. One is great the other is learning. Set yourself up to fail and feel the exhilliration when you succeed! 😀😀
We all need rest, relaxation and enjoyment. Especially at a certain age, and deservedly so. I love it. I don't want or need any more challenges in my life !!!!!
Before attacking the question of happiness in your life, take care of the following first: 1. Your basic financial needs: if you’re struggling to pay bills every month then it’s hard to think about what would make you happy 2. Your social needs: if you feel lonely and disconnected from society then it’s hard to think about what would make you happy
Eliminate negative brain input/programming, and watch your life flow; it is amazing beyond measure. Then your instincts will lead you to amazing happenings you couldn't imagine.
Growth towards Utopia is intelligence and altruism but it's a infinite pursuit which is far better than going in the opposite direction into extinction. Bad people are generally pessimistic and are the first ones who discourage people who believe in the Utopian path.
It's rather important to define what you mean by happiness. Complete happiness may be when everything that currently passes through your mind result in you not wanting it in any other way, even if you were omnipotent. It does not mean however that you feel the best feeling imaginable. Theoretically it may for example exist an ice cream that put you in complete ecstasy but you could be equally satisfied with eating something more mundane like potatoes. So happiness is not about making life as easy or pleasurable as possible for you but rather by being at peace with all aspects of your life, including hardships. Out of curiosity you then explore internal or external life phenomena and stop running away from pain. With experience you have a chance to build up a greater resilience and hence increase your ability to stay in a peaceful mind no matter what passes through it. To be in this state may be the end-goal of life and what some would call Nirvana but given the non-divine nature of humans pragmatically you would need to fall out of it to learn how to better be able to stay in it. In reality you would then retrospectively from a peaceful state of mind probably prefer a somewhat stressful life just so you were able to reach the state you are in. In theory however you naturally would prefer a complete peace of mind from the get go, instantiating the concept of divinity.
I don't want to be happy and i don't want to be sad, i don't want "to want" anything, i don't want to be anything anymore, it's all a great burden for my spirit, im not criticizing other people and im not saying anyone should be that way, i literally don't care who you are, where you are going, your value, i just don't think people are so black and white to say "men should do this, women should do that", you WILL do whatever you want no matter what others say because we don't know 1% of the magic that happens around us after all, yet, everyone wants to be special someway somewhat, JP feels special helping humans to be more human, commenters feel special for sharing their experiences with the young helpless, its about vanity and will to survive, destiny is the same for us all, enjoy the trip (or don't).
But in most situations happiness came from insecurity, from controlling a "dangerous" game character who could die at any time, to starting a bussiness you know no definite outcome, to love and be loved by others. Human mind feeds on those ripples in it, and will die if there is none.
Yes but I don't know if it's make sense but to me its still in a way a non ending search of security/stability it's related It's finding meaning and happiness in establishing security more than by the sense of danger itself. It's the search of stability who motivate people. It's the "controlling the situation" like you said. at some point happiness will come from the perseverance of concreting your goal by the time and capacity you put in it to establish it like greater challenge mean better satisfaction happiness is perseverance in this way
Happiness has nothing to do with achievement. If you meditate, you will realize that it is possible to be extremely content just sitting there with closed eyes and a blank mind. In that state, you could be a billionaire in a penthouse or a homeless person in the park. Doesn't matter. You can still experience the same peace.
@@smokingcrab2290 Indeed. I worry about this, to be honest. The more people realize that happiness is not tied to achievement, the less motivation they have to produce and consume in excess. Our economy functions in such a way that it will suffer because of this. In order to drive people to work more, I worry that the powers that be will intentionally try to create more scarcity in the things that are necessary to live a peaceful life. Housing, healthy food, medicine, etc. Basically, it will be a return to slave-like conditions where you work and the master provides you with necessities. Then they will be able to work you as hard as possible, because you will essentially die if you don't submit. I think this is already starting to happen. Younger generations are spending less of their income on luxury items and more on necessities. Necessities are also becoming more expensive.
@@matt2.019 I think you're right happiness isn't tied to achievement, but people also need to strive towards a worthwhile goal without becoming to obsessed with the outcome.
Don’t think the argument is you need achievement to be happy, the argument is happiness should not be the achievement. It’s hard to build yourself up from that emotion if that’s what you build your foundation from. Better to build a foundation of accolades not because happiness is the byproduct, but because of the competence towards adversity you develop, ensuring a more sustainable mental state in the long run should another titan like endeavor visit you.
Our society is like mountain climbing. You can’t climb a mountain, by saying that the entire essence of human purpose, is to keep trying and failing on the first wedge. We put in a foothold, to stand on that, to reach to put in another foothold. Then we step onto that second spike, to reach to put in a third. And so on. Society builds on getting further ahead of the same hierarchy of needs, that should have been finished and accomplished hundreds of years ago. Instead of claiming that humans entire existence, is to keep treading the same problems and claiming it as purpose. I disagree.
This resonates with Nietzsche's idea of the Last Man, whose goal in life is to avoid suffering. Nietzsche despises that, and it seems intuitive to me why he would. Ot is a waste of human potential.
I am convinced this is why men are so often addicted to video games or movies. They can have both security and adventure without needing to risk their life or property. But eventually it isn’t enough because there is no real risk, cost, or need of effort.
They are smart. People trying to create a “legacy” are deluding themselves. Everything you create gets torn-apart a few years after you die. In 1000 years it’s as if you never existed at all .
The value is defined by the reward at the end. The challenge is only fun if there’s some expectation of winning. Nobody wants to run an endless marathon.
Similar to the story of the Hobbit. Bilbo is living in a very secure and happiness/pleasure oriented community where everyone lives in there safe hobbit holes and eats 6 big meals a day. Then one day Gandalf, who symbolizes wisdom, comes knocking to invite Bilbo on a great adventure. At first he is hesitant because his whole life he has been immersed in a culture where nobody takes risks and where pleasure in the only goal. Fast-forward to the end of the journey, after making wonderful friendships and overcoming great challenges he would consider following Gandalf on an adventure the best decision he ever made.
@@electrictroy2010 I disagree. For the circumstances of the Lord of the Rings, and on a less epic scale in everyday life, I agree with the quote, "It is better to die living then to live dying". In terms of Lord of the Rings, those who died, died a valiant out of love for mankind. Most people in life are not faced with a chance to save the human race, but they do have opportunity to be courageous and stand up for what is right. Or take a risk that will involve lots of hardship, but will be will provide them with meaning, like starting a family or a business.
@@seanedwards6995 If you are quoting the Lord of the Rings, Gandalf has a direct quote about the afterlife and how death is not the end. "End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it." Considering that Gandalf comes back from the dead and is from a race of angelic beings of all things. I think one of the biggest problems of this generation is how we surround ourselves with distractions and materialism when we don't focus on our soul needs. I think taking risks that even might challenge your mortality gives more satisfaction than for the ones that live safe lives who are empty on the inside.
Without a promise and hope for life after death, this world literally has no meaning except to improve the quality of life for as many as you can; but even this is vanity because nothing lasts forever, not even the earth and sky. A huge distraction from the fact that death IS the end for everything. Dust in the wind. Entropy and cosmic deterioration. There is no eternal value in this material world because of sin. The Bible says we should all just eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die if Christ is not risen. But the "White Shores" await those who put their trust in Jesus, and those who live for this world will lose everything forever because they lived for this world alone and vanity. Ecclesiastes is a great book.
I noticed only people who didn’t have a hard enough life say shit like this. All I found is a hard life leaves me traumatized. Sure I’m smarter for it but it’s hardly worth it. Give me a utopian life and I promise I won’t break shit just because I’m “bored.” There’s enough entertainment to keep me busy for that and if I want a challenge, I’ll see it healthily. I don’t need my life to be constant drama for it to be fulfilling and I think it’s dangerous to think it HAS to be. I’ve had a REALLY hard life for most of my life and yes I learned much but it’s not as great as he makes it sound. More than anything it makes me question why the fuck do I even put up with this shit? Why is life even worth all this pain? I don’t know, I guess it makes me more nihilistic than anything.
I agree, I find his message lacks depth as even a utopia has daily struggles - in a true utopia we must actively participate ( work, and work involves an aspect of struggling in itself) in creating the life and security we need in order to secure and maintain our everyday necessities . And happiness is probably the wrong word as it is a fleeting emotion, instead we should seek a state of contentment.
Agreed. I've spent the last couple of years immersing myself with the likes of JPB, Joe Rogan, some Goggins, etc. This mentality of "life _should_ be a struggle", and you have to do this and that and it should all be hard and serious and stressful because thats where all the _meeeaaaning_ is. All it has done is make me stressed, anxious, worried and left me with the feeling that I'm a bad person on some moral or spiritual plane because I'm not enjoying this supposed correct hard but meaningful way of life. I'm certain that everyone needs challanges of different kinds - obviously if we don't have anything to do we get bored. The treshhold for the amount of hardship/risk/stress those challenges need to have for us to experience meaning, I think that differs vastly from person to person. Obviously JPB knows personality exists and some people are low in conscientiousness and or high in neuroticism, but he rarely mentions it in passing if at all (11:35 in this case), he just reiterates that we should shoulder responsibility and prepare for suffering.
Dr Peterson is truly a Godsend. Thank you Sir for sharing your wisdom to the masses. May we be willing to listen and draw from your study and teaching.
Reminds me of the image of retirement some people have: not having to earn anything and doing whatever you want every day. Retired from any stress in life, just "enjoying" it. From what I've heard, of people who go down that path, they decline very rapidly. Emotionally, psychologically, physically. And I suspect it's because of what JP said here. We need stress, challenges, living on the edge of what we are capable of and moving forward, etc, or we decay.
my father..for a year now he has a steady stream of income from a rental property. he tried to be relaxed and just go about his day watching tv. after awhile, he complained bitterly 😂 saying 'i might going to rot here'. funny because im the same though what i mostly do is reading heavy materials so its a form of mental stimulation than a physical one. now he wants to do farming and just work 😅
Your ignorance is disgusting. I am 84 years old. I have submitted one paper for publication to a refereed journal and perhaps several more. I am also writing my recollections of my life and family and my reflections on what I think I have learned in my life. I have just become a grandfather at 84 and hope I can pass on to her some of these reflections. Finally, if you think approaching death is a fun experience, your just another dumb MF.
I LOVE SITTING AROUND. I watch educational shows or science fiction. I read textbooks or follow politics or just chat with people online (about the previous topics). Never bored.
You can live on the edge and test your potential trough challenges without suffering though. Happiness is the meaning of life. Learn to enjoy the process of continuous growth and you'll always be happy.
This is a lesson I have had to piece together for myself. In the first few years of my adulthood, I had a lot of challenge in my life, joining the army, doing ROTC at a senior military college, working hard labor in a factory 12 hours a night from sundown to sunup. Fast forward to now in my late 20's, I have the life I dreamed of back then. I am out of the military, I have an extremely cushy work-from-home IT job that rarely challenges me. My mental state is much worse now than it was 5-10 years ago. After long reflection I finally realized that while my life was certainly harder back then, I was definitely happier. All my favorite memories are from those days. It shocked me to realize that getting essentially everything I want has made me miserable because now I have it too easy and life feels meaningless. When I finally figured this out I started talking to a recruiter to rejoin the national guard to sprinkle a little challenge back into my life at least on a part time basis.
Useless reply incoming but uh, why not focus on your job and find a more challenging position? If the position itself is not challenging simply take the money earned and invest into something challenging. For example if I were in your shoes and shared the same passions I did in my teens I'd start a project car fast. We're in an era where gas vehicles will soon be non existent. We may be the last generations to use them. With that consideration I'd be motivated to keep working an easy job and life. That's only 1 example too... although I still understand your life lacks challenge and your mental state has changed. Almost rendering my idea useless when your mental state warps a bit overtime.
This is happening to me right now. I was an athlete for most of my life, an untalented one. I dumped far too many hours into a sport I loved but wasn't particularly good at. I was happy with the effort and grew a lot from it even though I never 'made it big'. Now I also have a cushy IT job and after about a year or so of being completely stagnant I was seriously on the verge of insanity I think. Trying to expand my technical skills and explore some new athletic pass times has helped a lot but I still don't feel very much accomplished. Hopefully will continue to find my own way over the coming years.
Sounds exactly how a warhead would think. You're talking about challenge as if war is the only thing that keeps you sane. As some others mentioned.. take the money and challenge yourself to the extend you choose. That's freedom . Want another challenge.. fine try having a family. Just dont screw it up by taking revenge on your offspring.
The parent who over protects and serves will cripple the child. Never give them the idea that you think they can't do for themselves as they grow. Our job is to make sure they don't need us
I cannot recall crossing the path of more than two friends who dared to parent . I too lacked the full constitution to fully parent and looked to be liked by my child at the expense of taking the requisite higher, harder ground.
I’m starting a family relatively young by modern standards - 26 - I’ve been working my first real career for the last 4 months and am finally feeling engaged and like my skills are being tested. I’ve never felt better in my entire life, but I wouldn’t describe myself as ‘happy.’ It would be more accurate to say that I’m productively and strenuously engaged with my life. Every day there are important tasks that need to get done and them getting done determines the stability and resources I am able to provide. There’s a rather immediate cost to just being lazy and selfish. I like that. I feel a general sense of engagement and responsibility and that seems to be much more sustaining and practical than just seeking to be in some poorly-defined state of happiness which commonly means ‘easy’ and ‘pleasurable.’
@@electrictroy2010 I remember thinking like you when I was about 18. Don’t worry, your perspective will wisen up with experience. The fact that you and I are here is evidence that the material of the universe has figured out how to persist beyond a thousand years. While you or I may not individually persist beyond our lifetime, the ripples of our existence do, through offspring and our influence. Reduce your timescale perspective to a level that is pertinent and productive to what you’re actually doing. You can always expand your scale to eternity to render anything seemingly meaningless but it’s not really a useful way of thinking to meet the demands of your life and to create a prosperous situation for yourself.
Be weary of later in your live. Maybe at some point things will become monotonous, like everything is on rails and you just follow them. If you get to that place, then remember the message of this video.
@@creativeape8994 Reality is better than expectations if you choose to make it that way. I find contentment in simple actions improving or maintaining things and helping people knowing that if I shovel snow off the sidewalk, I can expect People to have a Safer place to Walk. It's not much but it's enough for me.
I think in order to gain longer term happiness a lot of struggle and figuring shit out is needed. Hard work is what it is. Nobody wants to do the hard work. In many cases are pitying hard work. Sometimes there's tough shit you gotta do to be genuinely happy.
@@laurafuller8528 I think that can be part of the process that some go through tho to learn some different things that are important along the way. Many details can be lost and not thoroughly appreciated in those sort of situations by some.
My issue is a can't seem to find a single path in life to follow anymore. I'm 35 and just lost all desire for everything. I wake up, go to work, come home and go to bed. These past few years of the stupidity the world has shown has taken every bit of care from me. We live.. we die. I don't care
This is why most single mothers cannot father their children well. Mom wants total safety, to make her own job easier, but dad wants challenge and adventure. Dad doesn't need easy because he has the strength and authority to do what it takes.
@@janicep1508normally I see these comments as protentious "men are better than women" comments that mean nothing but in this case I agree. Female nature wants security so it makes sense they want something familiar and safe. I for one love adventure, doing things that can probably kill me but man does it awaken this drive within me. My older sister does too
This is just one long string of baloney. Jordan you have my blessing to find as much suffering as you can take. I am going to keep looking for a chance to enjoy life. The same person who wrote 12 Rules advocating for chaos. Can you not see how that would be implausible and a bit dodgy? Definitely get back to me after about ten years of suffering and let me know how that anxiety is progressing.
Such wisdom! Whether true or not, my perception is that I've always had to do things for myself and my whole life has been difficult until now when I've retired. Now that I'm not struggling, I am bored and not happy.
You cannot overcome death/ non existence. Everything you create gets torn-apart a few years after you die. In 1000 years it’s as if you never existed at all .
@@electrictroy2010 you made yourself a framing problem, buddy. if your frame of reference is so big that everything gets meaningless ... maybe your frame is bad?
I thought I had "security" with a reasonably well paying job in healthcare. Then they laid off 40 of my co-workers who were like family to me.... I don't think there really is such a thing as employment security, especially now. And that's okay with me. Retirement has allowed me to pursue my creative work goals so that's been and continues to be my personal adventure.
If you’re a creative person utopia would be amazing You could build and construct whatever you wanted design all your projects! Take your time to be meticulous and not meet any dead lines. But most people aren’t creative so utopia’s can’t work for everyone
Very interesting. Wife passed 8 years ago and I was wondering just yesterday if I would be happy again. I don't know, but I do adventure very often. Best thing I can do to cope.
"During the countryside wars, a general swept from town to town, conquering each place with ease. In one particular town, the general discovered that everyone had fled just before his army arrived - everyone except the Zen master. Curious about what sort of man this was, the general visited the temple himself. Inside, the Zen master remained still, and refused to bow or even move out of the general’s way. When it was clear the Zen master would not defer to the general’s power, he became furious. “Fool!” he shouted, as he drew his weapon, “Don’t you see you are standing before a man would run through you without blinking an eye?” The Zen master responded with absolute calm. “And don’t you see that you are standing before a man who could be run through without blinking an eye?” Humbled by the Zen master’s resolve, the general regrouped his forces and returned from where they had come." That is true happiness that comes from absolute freedom from the world, and from the self. Happiness is not achieved through aims of the will. It is attained by finding the true meaning of life. To know it, you need to look happiness directly in the eyes, not run away from it, into complicated rationalizations of suffering.
Our entire society and evolution has been based on evolutionarily making life happier, more equitable, and secure. That doesn’t mean humans should be lazy. the idea is that we take care of the hierarchy of needs, so that we can concentrate our human brains in progressing on newer, more human goals. Art, technology, science, new concepts and ideas, instead of rehashing the same insecure and violent treading that we’ve done for the last ten thousand years. On the same resources. We learned to make fire, to keep us warm. We learned to farm, to have a steady food supply. We learned to make shelter to keep out dry and out of the elements. Every step in actual human progress, was to ensure a more stable and secure life for our future generations, to be able to concentrate on furthering the next step to our human potential. We are the only creatures that make art. For arts sake. We have aesthetics. We have philosophy. Thats what makes us actual humans. While still giving a nod to our biological and evoluntionary past and nature. We were meant to progress. Not to force society into the same violent and insecure pattern of the last ten thousand years. We weren’t meant to become static. We have to progress past the hierarchy of need, to further ourselves and to be able to get the next step in human progression and evolution. Insecurity and unhappiness because of having to struggle to keep fulfilling the same basic needs, instead of being able to think further beyond those needs, limits our human potential.
“A happy life is impossible, the highest thing that man can aspire to is a heroic life; such as a man lives, who is always fighting against unequal odds for the good of others; and wins in the end without any thanks." --schopenhauer
I've all but given up on any expectation of happiness. I used to have a radiant boyish grin but that vanished off my face like rain off a bridge when Justin and his malignant sidekick came along. Since he was sworn in , every single day has been another Hallowe'en. Justin has turned out to be some kind of an amazing athlete. He's managed to throw a wet blanket all the way across Canada. Happiness is finished so why would anyone aim for it? All dare to wish for anymore is that I somehow find the courage to guzzle a jug of bleach...
My experience is that Adventure feels better when you are coming from a place of security from which you can return. People want controlled chaos to remind them what peace is and to renew the appreciation for their own security. Seems attached to the understanding that "Without bad there is no good" but these are just my thoughts and I would love to hear others opinions whether you agree with me or not, I love the feeling you get when you are challenged mentally it's like your brain space opens up and it feels me with a happy feeling that there may still be hope for us, respect, thanks for reading, rant over.
You make a very good point. It occurred to me that challenges are enjoyable when I feel I have a good chance of overcoming them or that if I don't the consequences won't be dire. However if I feel I'm unlikely to overcome the challenge and the consequences are going to be quite bad then that is stressful and it's difficult to feel good in that situation. I find people with that secure base that you mentioned are far more likely to take on challenges because they have that security they can return to and so they don't understand what it's like for those without any security. So I agree with Peterson that challenges are necessary for a fulfilling life, it's what we're evolved to do. I'd say the trick is to find challenges at the appropriate level for you, which of course is his whole clean your room thing. It's about starting with something achievable and building up. Unfortunately though we don't get to choose all the challenges that come in life and that's where the suffering really comes in, being confronted with situations that you're not equipped for.
Agreed, and that is why community exists, to help those that can't or be helped ourselves. One part people keep forgetting in thr modern day. Family and community are vital for not just our survival but growth as well.
I think our human experience is based therefore we can't know for sure what life is about anyways, all we know is that life is rigged to survive and multiply, our brains are still atached to the Primeval mindset or something along those lines, so we need work to tire ourselves out, it doesn't matter win or lose, just work, labor, not everyone is a Winner, everyone is a Winner/loser, how can we not be biased by our human being experience? rant over.
Wow, that one's interresting. Don't chase happiness, chase adventure. Makes a lot of sense the way Peterson explains it. I can also wholeheartedly get behind his example: "This was extraordinary hard to do... But worth it!" I have such a memory and it is still one of my proudest moments and something I enjoy remembering to this day.
Best thing about Jorden is he talks about those areas which most of thinkers don't touch or think worthy of talking about whereas they sit very close to us like a shadow.
I am sorry I don't want to desrupt. You said utopia. The place where...... I have my thoughts. You will make a system on Mars. People trained and expert in job and doing their best to run species there. U can do it there but don't want to do it here with all of these resources. Money freedome. How many of u have both of them.
Recipe for happiness and fulfillment: Work your butt off Be a servant Be thankful Be loving Be kind Have a purpose Don't let people tell you what the recipe for happiness is.
It is not folly to strive to improve your odds. Generations have lived in absolute misery, to ensure following generations don't have to suffer near as much as they did. Nature teaches us this concept quite often, as when a lion 🦁 kills a jackal. It does so, because they are a threat to their cubs and competitors for resources. If the lion fails to kill them, eventually they will outnumber the lions so much, that they will be completely destroyed by them. To suppose, that life is without struggle, is preposterous for the vast majority of the human race. Winter ❄️ increases☃️struggles, but so does athletics and workforce competition. Bill Glass used to say, get so good at one thing and it will feed you for the rest of your life. There is the struggle to crawl, then walk, then run, then learn, then train, then work and then die.
I'm not sure he actually understands what living in a real chaotic third world country is, when he throws sentences around like the one in the thumbnail! Having experienced that myself and grown up in abject poverty, I'm most definitely built for security!
Well exactly this way of thinking leads to the living standards the people in the third world have. People are affraid to rebbell against their slave masters. So they loose both security and freedom.
Psychology is not a science like biology, chemistry or physics. You cant falsify. What you are saying are just opinions nothing else. They are not facts...
The fundamental difference between human beings and other animals is that humans can not be happy without a purpose. After a man got everything he wants, he still want something more.
I'm a moderately accomplished adult male who lives in comfort and moderate happiness - at least material contentment. And yet, every fiber of my conscious being calls for chaos and adventure against the entropy of easy death. Perhaps happiness, like the new Jerusalem, should remain an aspiration, not a state of being. thank you, Dr. Peterson, to put words on this.
From the perspective of Buddhist wisdom I believe the answer to life is not sacrificing the only time you have on earth to pursue and protect happiness
Truth hurts..attachments to outcomes cause pain... Simply accept pain it comes with everything... especially accomplishments including success..and others failures and defeates..pain..it's everybody's business!!
I think because Peterson has never been happy. He feels that it's a lost mission, but i genuinely think it's some of his worst advice. I also generally like him too.
It could be that we shouldn't aim for happiness as it is only a byproduct of something else. Peterson suggests instead aim for adventure, challenge, and responsibility. This could be the true purpose of the human condition, and in the process of seeking such - we will find happiness.
Do our very best and pray that God will give us the best for our lives. Grateful for every ease, pleasure, and enjoyment that we get, be patient with all the pain and trials in our lives. Then may God grant us contentment and happiness in this life and hereafter.
Imagine if Everyone thought like JBP, and had throughout history. No 'Utopian thinking' No effort put into improving life. Into making new technologies. Just 'adventure' and vague platitudes. We would still be in the Dark Ages, and JBP would be writing best sellers about how to identify witches, and the best way to burn them.
Lol improving life and making new technologies is not utopian thinking. Utopian thinking is what the Marxists aimed at and the Nazis aimed at in the 20th century. Utopianism is "I'm going to make the world over in my image, and I'm going to try to make it perfect". That's dictator thinking. And if you don't think accruing scientific knowledge and technological power is a deeply adventurous thing you're a fool. "Everyone should be happy" is a vague platitude. "People should seek adventure in the meaningfully difficult challenges in their life that they think they can have a hand in tackling". That's how you make things better, not by saying "the world should be what I need it to be". It's sort of the opposite, it's trying to make yourself into what the world needs. "Just" adventure...
My whole life story proves his point, I don't believe in happiness, it doesn't exist or it's not something to be set as a goal. It's just a temporary relief feeling when you find a way to ease your suffering. That's why I won't be thankful that I'm happy, but I feel grateful for suffering less, and this mindset helped me to accept any difficulties and face them, most importantly, it's working, and my life is getting better, so I believe it's the right way of thinking about "happiness".
We're all different. I love nothing more than being by myself and having very little to do. I need some activity and some company but it can be remote and infrequent.
I think from biological stand, young women and children require a lot of security and stability. We should never talk about ages and genders as equal. Big difference in what we need and require based on our age, gender, and physical health.
Take risks, pragmatically, creaticvely. In the doing. Also help others. Respect Karma... Happiness is only possible by having huge love and that in itself is a pure blessing from God.
True happiness emanates from within, where the essence of our well-being resides. It is intricately intertwined with our health status and the nourishment we provide to our bodies.
How could you take something seriously if the consequences aren't serious. This statement is utter genius.
@@LikesandreplyJordanB.P fake account
We can report those.
Reminds me of the justice system in New zealand...
The most challenging thing a man can endeavor to do, it to bring his ego into submission. Know Thyself.
If you haven't fear you aren't going enough fast 😅
I remember once wishing for more drama in my life and then getting what I wished for. That was when I came alive and learnt the most about myself and the world around me.
I have lived, and now I'm appreciating my pipe and slippers years. It's boiling this down to everyday tasks that helps me. "That was difficult but it was worth it." Like eating right, or keeping the kitchen clean. Working in the garden. Fixing a drain, or dare I say, cleaning your room. I like that aspiring to better things happens on the grand scale, but it's in the mundane things too.
@@JoesWebPresence sometimes the mundane is boring, but often the mundane is the most needed.
@@JoesWebPresence - My father and my maternal grandmother taught me how to make mundane tasks fun. I just never lost that...except for doing dishes after supper. I always hated it and now I don't have to unless I want to and I NEVER want to!
I just want to die when there is drama in my life
@@Ybereza69 Yes, but you pull through and know that you did it and learnt from it. I've had some awful times but here I am now looking back and realizing that it did not destroy me, in fact it was the making of me. That said, I don't want any more drama in my life just interesting challenges.
I retired about a year ago. I have a bad back and neck. I bought a house to renovate. Everyone said I was crazy but it's the best thing I could have done. It's physically and mentally great for me. We all need a challenge. Playing in a blues band as well and getting involved in church. The wife would have me on permanent holiday. How tragic that would be. We travel for 3mths. I want to keep doing until everything stops; trying to add goodness to the lives of everyone I come across. That is my great adventure
Glad to hear you have a concrete vision for your retirement days. Many don't and they suffer greatly for it.
❤❤❤
Oh guy you have found the secret of life : have a purpose. We bought a house in a tropical country small simple on a nice size plot of land on the side of an extinct volcano in Latin America. My mate hired local workers ...he had been a builder/developer before I met him made and lost a million dollars in the 70s when Carter doubled interest rates. His wife walked out on him saying I married you for your potential. I met him the night his divorce was final. I was widowed for a year and a half. I was 33 and he was 37. I fell in love with him and he with me right away. He was my soulmate and I never believed in such things.
I liked adventure. A big attraction that we both adored sailing we bought a small weekend boat almost right away. I convinced him to travel to Mexico which I had loved since childhood. He liked it... YAY. We went there as semi backpackers to meet sailing friends every CHristmas for a decade. We formulated a plan...to retire early and sail amd one day later when we couldnt lift the sails anymore we would retire in Latin America.
He taught me investing and I invested my retirement money in tech stocks in the 90s. I did well...only becuase HE taught me.
So at 50.and 55 we did it, we bought a big boat 45ft he gutted it and rewired, plumbed completely refitted it he loved working with his hands on it with just a Mexican helper. That gave him joy and gave me great confidence in that boat ...I trusted his skills. And off we sailed for several glorious years...what a beautiful simple boat life we had.
Then the day came we needed to move on. We sold the boat bought that house and set about turning into an Alhambra like dream home. I drew it out taught myself architectural drawing and he supervised the build. Then as a hobby artist I picked the youngest of the crew who could draw and we handpainted tiles, built fountains, made mosaics, painted entire wall treatments it took years to get this labor of love finished and it healed my mate completely from his former loss.
People ooh and ahh at our home. We got to spend a total of 25 years in retirement before he passed away last year next to me without a sigh, peaceully of a silent heart attack.
How I loved that man and how I miss him...I will NEVER LEAVE THIS HOUSE. During COVID we made wills here leaving this house to the young man who helped me decorate it. He had learned English, how to drive, how to cook all the foods my mate loved in case I died first. He knows how to maintain the house and how to pay all our bills , he cleans the house, he does everything but the gardening, even driving me when I wish...his father works three days a week maintaining the garden.
I have a millionaire's lifestyle due to my very wise mate. I only spend my social security, the rest is earmarked for later because who knows final health costs and inflation.
You GO guy...enjoy the sense of satisfaction...your wife will appreciate it all ñater evenif she wants you to kick back now. Nothing in life is so beautiful as a sense of purpose!
This is beautiful. Good for you my friend!
Can I borrow $10?
Now retired I make things HARDER. Take it easy - I don't think so. Learn new things. Walk for miles. Build stuff. Go fishing in innacessible places. Gardening and growing food.
Spending time with friends.
Rise to the challenge and succeed or fail. One is great the other is learning. Set yourself up to fail and feel the exhilliration when you succeed! 😀😀
We all need rest, relaxation and enjoyment. Especially at a certain age, and deservedly so. I love it. I don't want or need any more challenges in my life !!!!!
Then apparently you've had plenty already! Which is why you enjoy rest, relaxation and enjoyment more.
JP, you’re a pure genius ❤
Thank You Doctor !!!
Simply Amazing ..
I need to listen to this a million time, so not to forget! thank you Dr Peterson.
3:47 "Happiness is a boat that's easily capsized, and the waves are always there."
Before attacking the question of happiness in your life, take care of the following first:
1. Your basic financial needs: if you’re struggling to pay bills every month then it’s hard to think about what would make you happy
2. Your social needs: if you feel lonely and disconnected from society then it’s hard to think about what would make you happy
Eliminate negative brain input/programming, and watch your life flow; it is amazing beyond measure. Then your instincts will lead you to amazing happenings you couldn't imagine.
Am i the one person who dont regret trying stuff? Hell im proud of it.
Growth towards Utopia is intelligence and altruism but it's a infinite pursuit which is far better than going in the opposite direction into extinction. Bad people are generally pessimistic and are the first ones who discourage people who believe in the Utopian path.
Happiness is achieved when you outlive all your enemies.
It's rather important to define what you mean by happiness. Complete happiness may be when everything that currently passes through your mind result in you not wanting it in any other way, even if you were omnipotent. It does not mean however that you feel the best feeling imaginable. Theoretically it may for example exist an ice cream that put you in complete ecstasy but you could be equally satisfied with eating something more mundane like potatoes. So happiness is not about making life as easy or pleasurable as possible for you but rather by being at peace with all aspects of your life, including hardships. Out of curiosity you then explore internal or external life phenomena and stop running away from pain. With experience you have a chance to build up a greater resilience and hence increase your ability to stay in a peaceful mind no matter what passes through it. To be in this state may be the end-goal of life and what some would call Nirvana but given the non-divine nature of humans pragmatically you would need to fall out of it to learn how to better be able to stay in it. In reality you would then retrospectively from a peaceful state of mind probably prefer a somewhat stressful life just so you were able to reach the state you are in. In theory however you naturally would prefer a complete peace of mind from the get go, instantiating the concept of divinity.
I don't want to be happy and i don't want to be sad, i don't want "to want" anything, i don't want to be anything anymore, it's all a great burden for my spirit, im not criticizing other people and im not saying anyone should be that way, i literally don't care who you are, where you are going, your value, i just don't think people are so black and white to say "men should do this, women should do that", you WILL do whatever you want no matter what others say because we don't know 1% of the magic that happens around us after all, yet, everyone wants to be special someway somewhat, JP feels special helping humans to be more human, commenters feel special for sharing their experiences with the young helpless, its about vanity and will to survive, destiny is the same for us all, enjoy the trip (or don't).
I really wish I could talk to you! I love your experience and knowledge.
Yes Sir! 🙏
But in most situations happiness came from insecurity, from controlling a "dangerous" game character who could die at any time, to starting a bussiness you know no definite outcome, to love and be loved by others. Human mind feeds on those ripples in it, and will die if there is none.
Yes but I don't know if it's make sense but to me its still in a way a non ending search of security/stability it's related
It's finding meaning and happiness in establishing security more than by the sense of danger itself. It's the search of stability who motivate people. It's the "controlling the situation" like you said. at some point happiness will come from the perseverance of concreting your goal by the time and capacity you put in it to establish it
like greater challenge mean better satisfaction happiness is perseverance in this way
So people will want some degree of adventure and risk ... they'll be happier with some of that or they'll want it because they want to be unhappier?!
That's a beautiful suit
"Close to Edge"... wasn't that a song?
Happiness has nothing to do with achievement. If you meditate, you will realize that it is possible to be extremely content just sitting there with closed eyes and a blank mind. In that state, you could be a billionaire in a penthouse or a homeless person in the park. Doesn't matter. You can still experience the same peace.
Only if your environment is peaceful
@@smokingcrab2290 Indeed.
I worry about this, to be honest. The more people realize that happiness is not tied to achievement, the less motivation they have to produce and consume in excess. Our economy functions in such a way that it will suffer because of this.
In order to drive people to work more, I worry that the powers that be will intentionally try to create more scarcity in the things that are necessary to live a peaceful life. Housing, healthy food, medicine, etc.
Basically, it will be a return to slave-like conditions where you work and the master provides you with necessities. Then they will be able to work you as hard as possible, because you will essentially die if you don't submit.
I think this is already starting to happen. Younger generations are spending less of their income on luxury items and more on necessities. Necessities are also becoming more expensive.
@@matt2.019 I think you're right happiness isn't tied to achievement, but people also need to strive towards a worthwhile goal without becoming to obsessed with the outcome.
Don’t think the argument is you need achievement to be happy, the argument is happiness should not be the achievement. It’s hard to build yourself up from that emotion if that’s what you build your foundation from. Better to build a foundation of accolades not because happiness is the byproduct, but because of the competence towards adversity you develop, ensuring a more sustainable mental state in the long run should another titan like endeavor visit you.
And then you open your eyes and go back to your reality which contradicts that completely eg you’re in deception
Poverty allieviation completed 10 yrs ago in 🇨🇳, CGTN The Point-Hub-Heat. Now onto Modernization Amazing....
Well you will never see the end of death dying and pain by your own admission
The Stoics solved all these issues before everyone Peterson mentions.
Our society is like mountain climbing. You can’t climb a mountain, by saying that the entire essence of human purpose, is to keep trying and failing on the first wedge. We put in a foothold, to stand on that, to reach to put in another foothold. Then we step onto that second spike, to reach to put in a third. And so on. Society builds on getting further ahead of the same hierarchy of needs, that should have been finished and accomplished hundreds of years ago. Instead of claiming that humans entire existence, is to keep treading the same problems and claiming it as purpose. I disagree.
This resonates with Nietzsche's idea of the Last Man, whose goal in life is to avoid suffering. Nietzsche despises that, and it seems intuitive to me why he would. Ot is a waste of human potential.
I am convinced this is why men are so often addicted to video games or movies. They can have both security and adventure without needing to risk their life or property. But eventually it isn’t enough because there is no real risk, cost, or need of effort.
They are smart.
People trying to create a “legacy” are deluding themselves. Everything you create gets torn-apart a few years after you die. In 1000 years it’s as if you never existed at all
.
Mostly cost
With video games there’s competition and competence that comes with it too, that young men crave!
The cost is the time they spend and the real adventure they forfeit
Simply put, the value is defined by the challenge/struggle.
Exactly!
There is no value. Everything you create gets torn-apart a few years after you die. In 1000 years it’s as if you never existed at all
.
The value is defined by the reward at the end. The challenge is only fun if there’s some expectation of winning. Nobody wants to run an endless marathon.
"People don't regret what they did that didn't work, they regret what they didn't do that could have worked."
Similar to the story of the Hobbit. Bilbo is living in a very secure and happiness/pleasure oriented community where everyone lives in there safe hobbit holes and eats 6 big meals a day. Then one day Gandalf, who symbolizes wisdom, comes knocking to invite Bilbo on a great adventure. At first he is hesitant because his whole life he has been immersed in a culture where nobody takes risks and where pleasure in the only goal. Fast-forward to the end of the journey, after making wonderful friendships and overcoming great challenges he would consider following Gandalf on an adventure the best decision he ever made.
Except for the people who died. They are in a state of non-existence & would have been better off staying home (and still alive).
@@electrictroy2010 I disagree. For the circumstances of the Lord of the Rings, and on a less epic scale in everyday life, I agree with the quote, "It is better to die living then to live dying". In terms of Lord of the Rings, those who died, died a valiant out of love for mankind. Most people in life are not faced with a chance to save the human race, but they do have opportunity to be courageous and stand up for what is right. Or take a risk that will involve lots of hardship, but will be will provide them with meaning, like starting a family or a business.
@@seanedwards6995 If you are quoting the Lord of the Rings, Gandalf has a direct quote about the afterlife and how death is not the end. "End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it." Considering that Gandalf comes back from the dead and is from a race of angelic beings of all things. I think one of the biggest problems of this generation is how we surround ourselves with distractions and materialism when we don't focus on our soul needs. I think taking risks that even might challenge your mortality gives more satisfaction than for the ones that live safe lives who are empty on the inside.
Without a promise and hope for life after death, this world literally has no meaning except to improve the quality of life for as many as you can; but even this is vanity because nothing lasts forever, not even the earth and sky. A huge distraction from the fact that death IS the end for everything. Dust in the wind. Entropy and cosmic deterioration. There is no eternal value in this material world because of sin. The Bible says we should all just eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die if Christ is not risen.
But the "White Shores" await those who put their trust in Jesus, and those who live for this world will lose everything forever because they lived for this world alone and vanity.
Ecclesiastes is a great book.
I noticed only people who didn’t have a hard enough life say shit like this. All I found is a hard life leaves me traumatized. Sure I’m smarter for it but it’s hardly worth it. Give me a utopian life and I promise I won’t break shit just because I’m “bored.” There’s enough entertainment to keep me busy for that and if I want a challenge, I’ll see it healthily. I don’t need my life to be constant drama for it to be fulfilling and I think it’s dangerous to think it HAS to be. I’ve had a REALLY hard life for most of my life and yes I learned much but it’s not as great as he makes it sound. More than anything it makes me question why the fuck do I even put up with this shit? Why is life even worth all this pain? I don’t know, I guess it makes me more nihilistic than anything.
I agree, I find his message lacks depth as even a utopia has daily struggles - in a true utopia we must actively participate ( work, and work involves an aspect of struggling in itself) in creating the life and security we need in order to secure and maintain our everyday necessities . And happiness is probably the wrong word as it is a fleeting emotion, instead we should seek a state of contentment.
You have a point!!!!
Well it seems like a case by case basis. I know people who went through so much shit and despite the odds, are happy where they currently are
Agreed. I've spent the last couple of years immersing myself with the likes of JPB, Joe Rogan, some Goggins, etc. This mentality of "life _should_ be a struggle", and you have to do this and that and it should all be hard and serious and stressful because thats where all the _meeeaaaning_ is. All it has done is make me stressed, anxious, worried and left me with the feeling that I'm a bad person on some moral or spiritual plane because I'm not enjoying this supposed correct hard but meaningful way of life.
I'm certain that everyone needs challanges of different kinds - obviously if we don't have anything to do we get bored. The treshhold for the amount of hardship/risk/stress those challenges need to have for us to experience meaning, I think that differs vastly from person to person. Obviously JPB knows personality exists and some people are low in conscientiousness and or high in neuroticism, but he rarely mentions it in passing if at all (11:35 in this case), he just reiterates that we should shoulder responsibility and prepare for suffering.
Dr Peterson is truly a Godsend. Thank you Sir for sharing your wisdom to the masses. May we be willing to listen and draw from your study and teaching.
Reminds me of the image of retirement some people have: not having to earn anything and doing whatever you want every day. Retired from any stress in life, just "enjoying" it. From what I've heard, of people who go down that path, they decline very rapidly. Emotionally, psychologically, physically. And I suspect it's because of what JP said here. We need stress, challenges, living on the edge of what we are capable of and moving forward, etc, or we decay.
It might be little harsh, but I find that the only retirement you can enjoy should be death
my father..for a year now he has a steady stream of income from a rental property. he tried to be relaxed and just go about his day watching tv. after awhile, he complained bitterly 😂 saying 'i might going to rot here'.
funny because im the same though what i mostly do is reading heavy materials so its a form of mental stimulation than a physical one.
now he wants to do farming and just work 😅
Your ignorance is disgusting. I am 84 years old. I have submitted one paper for publication to a refereed journal and perhaps several more. I am also writing my recollections of my life and family and my reflections on what I think I have learned in my life. I have just become a grandfather at 84 and hope I can pass on to her some of these reflections. Finally, if you think approaching death is a fun experience, your just another dumb MF.
I LOVE SITTING AROUND. I watch educational shows or science fiction. I read textbooks or follow politics or just chat with people online (about the previous topics).
Never bored.
You can live on the edge and test your potential trough challenges without suffering though. Happiness is the meaning of life. Learn to enjoy the process of continuous growth and you'll always be happy.
This is a lesson I have had to piece together for myself. In the first few years of my adulthood, I had a lot of challenge in my life, joining the army, doing ROTC at a senior military college, working hard labor in a factory 12 hours a night from sundown to sunup. Fast forward to now in my late 20's, I have the life I dreamed of back then. I am out of the military, I have an extremely cushy work-from-home IT job that rarely challenges me. My mental state is much worse now than it was 5-10 years ago. After long reflection I finally realized that while my life was certainly harder back then, I was definitely happier. All my favorite memories are from those days. It shocked me to realize that getting essentially everything I want has made me miserable because now I have it too easy and life feels meaningless. When I finally figured this out I started talking to a recruiter to rejoin the national guard to sprinkle a little challenge back into my life at least on a part time basis.
Useless reply incoming but uh, why not focus on your job and find a more challenging position? If the position itself is not challenging simply take the money earned and invest into something challenging. For example if I were in your shoes and shared the same passions I did in my teens I'd start a project car fast. We're in an era where gas vehicles will soon be non existent. We may be the last generations to use them. With that consideration I'd be motivated to keep working an easy job and life. That's only 1 example too... although I still understand your life lacks challenge and your mental state has changed. Almost rendering my idea useless when your mental state warps a bit overtime.
@@ogsponge8678 Another one... start a family? That's challenging!
that is an amazing testimony! I feel the same way too!
This is happening to me right now. I was an athlete for most of my life, an untalented one. I dumped far too many hours into a sport I loved but wasn't particularly good at. I was happy with the effort and grew a lot from it even though I never 'made it big'. Now I also have a cushy IT job and after about a year or so of being completely stagnant I was seriously on the verge of insanity I think. Trying to expand my technical skills and explore some new athletic pass times has helped a lot but I still don't feel very much accomplished. Hopefully will continue to find my own way over the coming years.
Sounds exactly how a warhead would think. You're talking about challenge as if war is the only thing that keeps you sane. As some others mentioned.. take the money and challenge yourself to the extend you choose. That's freedom . Want another challenge.. fine try having a family. Just dont screw it up by taking revenge on your offspring.
“Happiness requires problems plus a mental attitude that is ready to meet distress with action toward a solution.” - Harry Levi Hollingsworth
The parent who over protects and serves will cripple the child. Never give them the idea that you think they can't do for themselves as they grow. Our job is to make sure they don't need us
Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.
I cannot recall crossing the path of more than two friends who dared to parent . I too lacked the full constitution to fully parent and looked to be liked by my child at the expense of taking the requisite higher, harder ground.
Can't take my eye off the suit. It's killer! Jordan Peterson weren't joking around regarding his advice about dressing well.
I’m starting a family relatively young by modern standards - 26 - I’ve been working my first real career for the last 4 months and am finally feeling engaged and like my skills are being tested. I’ve never felt better in my entire life, but I wouldn’t describe myself as ‘happy.’ It would be more accurate to say that I’m productively and strenuously engaged with my life. Every day there are important tasks that need to get done and them getting done determines the stability and resources I am able to provide. There’s a rather immediate cost to just being lazy and selfish. I like that. I feel a general sense of engagement and responsibility and that seems to be much more sustaining and practical than just seeking to be in some poorly-defined state of happiness which commonly means ‘easy’ and ‘pleasurable.’
Hey I resemble that one part!!🤣❤️😎
Agreed.. seriously..
A... truth hurts moment...
Brought to you by...
Aww waaaa!!
You are deluding yourself. Everything you create gets torn-apart a few years after you die. In 1000 years it’s as if you never existed at all
.
@@electrictroy2010 I remember thinking like you when I was about 18. Don’t worry, your perspective will wisen up with experience. The fact that you and I are here is evidence that the material of the universe has figured out how to persist beyond a thousand years. While you or I may not individually persist beyond our lifetime, the ripples of our existence do, through offspring and our influence. Reduce your timescale perspective to a level that is pertinent and productive to what you’re actually doing. You can always expand your scale to eternity to render anything seemingly meaningless but it’s not really a useful way of thinking to meet the demands of your life and to create a prosperous situation for yourself.
Be weary of later in your live. Maybe at some point things will become monotonous, like everything is on rails and you just follow them.
If you get to that place, then remember the message of this video.
I hope to do the same. God bless.
If you asked JP which brand of peanut butter to buy, he would spend 20 minutes quoting Dostoevsky.
"Don't seek happiness! Happiness is like an orgasm; If you think about it, too much, it goes away" Tim Minchin.
Once I quit chasing Happiness I found great Contentment.
0 Expectations
@@creativeape8994 Reality is better than expectations if you choose to make it that way. I find contentment in simple actions improving or maintaining things and helping people knowing that if I shovel snow off the sidewalk, I can expect People to have a Safer place to Walk. It's not much but it's enough for me.
I think in order to gain longer term happiness a lot of struggle and figuring shit out is needed. Hard work is what it is. Nobody wants to do the hard work. In many cases are pitying hard work. Sometimes there's tough shit you gotta do to be genuinely happy.
When I was younger, I didn’t mind the hard work. I definitely minded the low pay that generally went along with it though!
@@laurafuller8528 I think that can be part of the process that some go through tho to learn some different things that are important along the way. Many details can be lost and not thoroughly appreciated in those sort of situations by some.
Theres no sunshine without rain
Swearing brings a curse on one's life, reason Peterson does not go around swearing. Swearing is an addiction, it is negative based.
El trabajo hace libre 😅
My issue is a can't seem to find a single path in life to follow anymore. I'm 35 and just lost all desire for everything. I wake up, go to work, come home and go to bed. These past few years of the stupidity the world has shown has taken every bit of care from me. We live.. we die. I don't care
Check Islam.
Reduce instant gratification.
Try a martial art? Tkd has helped me.
@@tangbeinmans said he lost all desire, which includes instant gratification
Exercise everyday and watch your mind set change. Go for a run!
I like Wim Hoff’s idea to consciously walk toward what I fear.
@Mr. E Sus comment bro
So I should pursue unprotected hookups with complete strangers?
@Mr. E nice try Fed
@@nightfighter7452 No but a long term relationship might do the trick
This is why most single mothers cannot father their children well. Mom wants total safety, to make her own job easier, but dad wants challenge and adventure. Dad doesn't need easy because he has the strength and authority to do what it takes.
could be reverse, I'm an extremely adventurous woman while my boyfriend is afraid of change: I challenge both my son and partner everyday!
@@BaiMengLing sure, but the norm is reverse.
Amen to that
@@janicep1508normally I see these comments as protentious "men are better than women" comments that mean nothing but in this case I agree. Female nature wants security so it makes sense they want something familiar and safe. I for one love adventure, doing things that can probably kill me but man does it awaken this drive within me. My older sister does too
No. The reason why all mother's single or not can't father children is because they are mothers.
Brilliant. You got such a gift Dr Peterson, you open up so much perspective that I'm actually filled with joy
This is just one long string of baloney. Jordan you have my blessing to find as much suffering as you can take. I am going to keep looking for a chance to enjoy life. The same person who wrote 12 Rules advocating for chaos. Can you not see how that would be implausible and a bit dodgy? Definitely get back to me after about ten years of suffering and let me know how that anxiety is progressing.
Solomon had it all. In Ecclesiastes he says, “Vanity of vanities, all is vanity!”
Insane how articulate this man is.
Finding happiness within when the hell hits, that’s where the magic happens.
Such wisdom! Whether true or not, my perception is that I've always had to do things for myself and my whole life has been difficult until now when I've retired. Now that I'm not struggling, I am bored and not happy.
Hell I was 25 when I decided to take a break from work for a whole year. Needless to say I fell into a depression
Isn't retirement just a new challenge?
Don't avoid conflict, tragedy, or challenges. Love them
Concentrating on exterior security definitely has its place, but overcoming your own greatest inner fear is where success lies.
You cannot overcome death/ non existence. Everything you create gets torn-apart a few years after you die. In 1000 years it’s as if you never existed at all
.
@@electrictroy2010 you made yourself a framing problem, buddy. if your frame of reference is so big that everything gets meaningless ... maybe your frame is bad?
@@hanswoast7 well also within the frame of 1000 years I think it's a bit of the stretch to say it's as if you didn't exist at all. Feels to small
@@electrictroy2010 The butterfly effect guarantees that your life will impact the rest of human history.
I thought I had "security" with a reasonably well paying job in healthcare. Then they laid off 40 of my co-workers who were like family to me.... I don't think there really is such a thing as employment security, especially now. And that's okay with me. Retirement has allowed me to pursue my creative work goals so that's been and continues to be my personal adventure.
This is what Christianity is rooted in - adventure!
If you’re a creative person utopia would be amazing
You could build and construct whatever you wanted design all your projects! Take your time to be meticulous and not meet any dead lines.
But most people aren’t creative so utopia’s can’t work for everyone
Very interesting. Wife passed 8 years ago and I was wondering just yesterday if I would be happy again. I don't know, but I do adventure very often. Best thing I can do to cope.
Happiness is love !
No love no happiness
"During the countryside wars, a general swept from town to town, conquering each place with ease. In one particular town, the general discovered that everyone had fled just before his army arrived - everyone except the Zen master.
Curious about what sort of man this was, the general visited the temple himself. Inside, the Zen master remained still, and refused to bow or even move out of the general’s way.
When it was clear the Zen master would not defer to the general’s power, he became furious.
“Fool!” he shouted, as he drew his weapon, “Don’t you see you are standing before a man would run through you without blinking an eye?”
The Zen master responded with absolute calm.
“And don’t you see that you are standing before a man who could be run through without blinking an eye?”
Humbled by the Zen master’s resolve, the general regrouped his forces and returned from where they had come."
That is true happiness that comes from absolute freedom from the world, and from the self. Happiness is not achieved through aims of the will. It is attained by finding the true meaning of life. To know it, you need to look happiness directly in the eyes, not run away from it, into complicated rationalizations of suffering.
Our entire society and evolution has been based on evolutionarily making life happier, more equitable, and secure. That doesn’t mean humans should be lazy. the idea is that we take care of the hierarchy of needs, so that we can concentrate our human brains in progressing on newer, more human goals. Art, technology, science, new concepts and ideas, instead of rehashing the same insecure and violent treading that we’ve done for the last ten thousand years. On the same resources. We learned to make fire, to keep us warm. We learned to farm, to have a steady food supply. We learned to make shelter to keep out dry and out of the elements. Every step in actual human progress, was to ensure a more stable and secure life for our future generations, to be able to concentrate on furthering the next step to our human potential. We are the only creatures that make art. For arts sake. We have aesthetics. We have philosophy. Thats what makes us actual humans. While still giving a nod to our biological and evoluntionary past and nature. We were meant to progress. Not to force society into the same violent and insecure pattern of the last ten thousand years. We weren’t meant to become static. We have to progress past the hierarchy of need, to further ourselves and to be able to get the next step in human progression and evolution. Insecurity and unhappiness because of having to struggle to keep fulfilling the same basic needs, instead of being able to think further beyond those needs, limits our human potential.
“A happy life is impossible, the highest thing that man can aspire to is a heroic life; such as a man lives, who is always fighting against unequal odds for the good of others; and wins in the end without any thanks." --schopenhauer
If u only live on purely what God provided here, hunt ,fish, plant, build and gather, u wouldn't want to much more,
Wonder how a Buddhist monk who's happy would respond to this
I've all but given up on any expectation of happiness. I used to have a radiant boyish grin but that vanished off my face like rain off a bridge when Justin and his malignant sidekick came along. Since he was sworn in , every single day has been another Hallowe'en. Justin has turned out to be some kind of an amazing athlete. He's managed to throw a wet blanket all the way across Canada. Happiness is finished so why would anyone aim for it? All dare to wish for anymore is that I somehow find the courage to guzzle a jug of bleach...
you could deal with that problem in a more proactive manner, and save all the others like you the trouble...
Biden has done the same to America
What the hell man!!!
Dude, just get involved in an opposing political party
My experience is that Adventure feels better when you are coming from a place of security from which you can return. People want controlled chaos to remind them what peace is and to renew the appreciation for their own security. Seems attached to the understanding that "Without bad there is no good" but these are just my thoughts and I would love to hear others opinions whether you agree with me or not, I love the feeling you get when you are challenged mentally it's like your brain space opens up and it feels me with a happy feeling that there may still be hope for us, respect, thanks for reading, rant over.
You make a very good point. It occurred to me that challenges are enjoyable when I feel I have a good chance of overcoming them or that if I don't the consequences won't be dire. However if I feel I'm unlikely to overcome the challenge and the consequences are going to be quite bad then that is stressful and it's difficult to feel good in that situation. I find people with that secure base that you mentioned are far more likely to take on challenges because they have that security they can return to and so they don't understand what it's like for those without any security.
So I agree with Peterson that challenges are necessary for a fulfilling life, it's what we're evolved to do. I'd say the trick is to find challenges at the appropriate level for you, which of course is his whole clean your room thing. It's about starting with something achievable and building up. Unfortunately though we don't get to choose all the challenges that come in life and that's where the suffering really comes in, being confronted with situations that you're not equipped for.
Agreed, and that is why community exists, to help those that can't or be helped ourselves.
One part people keep forgetting in thr modern day. Family and community are vital for not just our survival but growth as well.
I think our human experience is based therefore we can't know for sure what life is about anyways, all we know is that life is rigged to survive and multiply, our brains are still atached to the Primeval mindset or something along those lines, so we need work to tire ourselves out, it doesn't matter win or lose, just work, labor, not everyone is a Winner, everyone is a Winner/loser, how can we not be biased by our human being experience? rant over.
Wow, that one's interresting. Don't chase happiness, chase adventure. Makes a lot of sense the way Peterson explains it.
I can also wholeheartedly get behind his example: "This was extraordinary hard to do... But worth it!" I have such a memory and it is still one of my proudest moments and something I enjoy remembering to this day.
Best thing about Jorden is he talks about those areas which most of thinkers don't touch or think worthy of talking about whereas they sit very close to us like a shadow.
Chasing happiness is something you’ll forever do. It’s a CHASE, you never CAPTURE it
Don't you worry guy, I'm NEVER happy.
I am sorry I don't want to desrupt. You said utopia. The place where......
I have my thoughts. You will make a system on Mars. People trained and expert in job and doing their best to run species there. U can do it there but don't want to do it here with all of these resources. Money freedome. How many of u have both of them.
Recipe for happiness and fulfillment:
Work your butt off
Be a servant
Be thankful
Be loving
Be kind
Have a purpose
Don't let people tell you what the recipe
for happiness is.
It is not folly to strive to improve your odds. Generations have lived in absolute misery, to ensure following generations don't have to suffer near as much as they did. Nature teaches us this concept quite often, as when a lion 🦁 kills a jackal. It does so, because they are a threat to their cubs and competitors for resources. If the lion fails to kill them, eventually they will outnumber the lions so much, that they will be completely destroyed by them. To suppose, that life is without struggle, is preposterous for the vast majority of the human race. Winter ❄️ increases☃️struggles, but so does athletics and workforce competition. Bill Glass used to say, get so good at one thing and it will feed you for the rest of your life. There is the struggle to crawl, then walk, then run, then learn, then train, then work and then die.
I'm not sure he actually understands what living in a real chaotic third world country is, when he throws sentences around like the one in the thumbnail! Having experienced that myself and grown up in abject poverty, I'm most definitely built for security!
Speak to the spoilt child in their 30s and you will understand the concept I think.
There is a point where too much security becomes painful. Humans need a certain amount of struggle and "Chaos" in their lives to be happy.
Yes I agree a chaotic childhood tips you toward an emphasis on achieving security….but when you achieve it, you are faced with the same dilemma
Well exactly this way of thinking leads to the living standards the people in the third world have. People are affraid to rebbell against their slave masters. So they loose both security and freedom.
@@linusschmutz3985 how many dictatorships have YOU toppled Che Guevara?
Psychology is not a science like biology, chemistry or physics. You cant falsify. What you are saying are just opinions nothing else. They are not facts...
“Keeping on the edge rather than the mere provision of security.” Well said, well said.
The devil is a song and dance man, but it’s his job..you know what I mean?
The fundamental difference between human beings and other animals is that humans can not be happy without a purpose. After a man got everything he wants, he still want something more.
Modern day messiah. Articulate, knowledgeable and a answer to the troubles of the day. Just remember he gets payed for these talks..
I'm a moderately accomplished adult male who lives in comfort and moderate happiness - at least material contentment. And yet, every fiber of my conscious being calls for chaos and adventure against the entropy of easy death. Perhaps happiness, like the new Jerusalem, should remain an aspiration, not a state of being. thank you, Dr. Peterson, to put words on this.
From the perspective of Buddhist wisdom I believe the answer to life is not sacrificing the only time you have on earth to pursue and protect happiness
Truth hurts..attachments to outcomes cause pain...
Simply accept pain it comes with everything... especially accomplishments including success..and others failures and defeates..pain..it's everybody's business!!
You are deluding yourself. Everything you create gets torn-apart a few years after you die. In 1000 years it’s as if you never existed at all
.
I think because Peterson has never been happy. He feels that it's a lost mission, but i genuinely think it's some of his worst advice. I also generally like him too.
It could be that we shouldn't aim for happiness as it is only a byproduct of something else. Peterson suggests instead aim for adventure, challenge, and responsibility. This could be the true purpose of the human condition, and in the process of seeking such - we will find happiness.
Facts! The flood is always coming ALWAYS
Do our very best and pray that God will give us the best for our lives.
Grateful for every ease, pleasure, and enjoyment that we get, be patient with all the pain and trials in our lives.
Then may God grant us contentment and happiness in this life and hereafter.
Imagine if Everyone thought like JBP, and had throughout history.
No 'Utopian thinking'
No effort put into improving life. Into making new technologies.
Just 'adventure' and vague platitudes.
We would still be in the Dark Ages, and JBP would be writing best sellers about how to identify witches, and the best way to burn them.
Lol improving life and making new technologies is not utopian thinking.
Utopian thinking is what the Marxists aimed at and the Nazis aimed at in the 20th century. Utopianism is "I'm going to make the world over in my image, and I'm going to try to make it perfect". That's dictator thinking.
And if you don't think accruing scientific knowledge and technological power is a deeply adventurous thing you're a fool.
"Everyone should be happy" is a vague platitude. "People should seek adventure in the meaningfully difficult challenges in their life that they think they can have a hand in tackling". That's how you make things better, not by saying "the world should be what I need it to be". It's sort of the opposite, it's trying to make yourself into what the world needs.
"Just" adventure...
Didn’t want the video to end! Very insightful as always!
This guy is smart as f im wondering how he got such wisdom
Hard work. Presumably born with a Higher IQ and also presumably nurture.
Dostoevsky isn't all that compelling. I don't really see the appeal
Most of my life was not of my choice but the choices of others and I regret every decision from 13 to now
I almost can't believe I watched this for free.
Absolutely love Jordan Peterson, an amazing person, please God keep him and his family safe and well🙏🙏🙂
My whole life story proves his point, I don't believe in happiness, it doesn't exist or it's not something to be set as a goal. It's just a temporary relief feeling when you find a way to ease your suffering. That's why I won't be thankful that I'm happy, but I feel grateful for suffering less, and this mindset helped me to accept any difficulties and face them, most importantly, it's working, and my life is getting better, so I believe it's the right way of thinking about "happiness".
Here's why you should stop your dependence on prescription drugs.
We're all different. I love nothing more than being by myself and having very little to do. I need some activity and some company but it can be remote and infrequent.
I think from biological stand, young women and children require a lot of security and stability. We should never talk about ages and genders as equal. Big difference in what we need and require based on our age, gender, and physical health.
Take risks, pragmatically, creaticvely. In the doing. Also help others. Respect Karma... Happiness is only possible by having huge love and that in itself is a pure blessing from God.
Why doesnt Jordan Peterson ever talk about Solzhenitsyns other book??????
"cursed is the ground FOR THY SAKE; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life"
True happiness emanates from within, where the essence of our well-being resides. It is intricately intertwined with our health status and the nourishment we provide to our bodies.