Thanks Colleen. I am going through a very similar journey. My Dad passed 2 weeks ago. Sometimes I feel he is so close by, sometimes everything seems bleak. I also have a very young part who has been very upset. I am spending as much time in nature as i can. It is very healing. Sending you peace 🕊
Colleen, THANKS in advance for this video! I haven't watched it yet because ive been at the hospital with my mom who has been quite ill. Shes elderly and had lung cancer in 2011. They removed a lung back then and it was considered "caught early. " she did well for 12 yrs. For a while now shes had several more or less mild symptoms and we would urge her to see her doctor, the doc would say it wasn't anything to worry about or, in the case of difficulty swallowing at times sent her to ear nose and throat doc. He saw nothing. Suspected GERD and for her cough the doc said post nasal drip. Then came pain from right side to back. Then shortness of breath. She is now in hospital for the 2nd time in 3 weeks, on oxygen, had nearly a liter of fluid removed from her lung. They found a 6x4 cm mass. Strong suspicion of cancer. Shes very weak, incontinent and we think we are losing her. I DON'T know how to DO this! How do I say goodbye? How do we survive no mommy anymore? 😢😭😭💔
Lori, my heart truly goes out to you and your Mom. You will discover you have a strength you never realized you had. Yesterday was my birthday and it was the first one in 58 years that Dad wasn't here to tell me Happy Birthday. It sounds so cliche, but I DID feel him and I DID have a sign from him that he is still with me in spirit. I don't know what your spiritual beliefs are, but for Dad and me, those beliefs are key to healing and not being utterly devastated and lost. When you watch the video, you'll hear me talk about Faith. That is how my parts and I get through. We know he's close by and we know he is free from his own lung disease and all the horrible medical issues like your Mom. Please keep me posted. ❤💜
Lori, another resource that helped me tremendously as we navigated Dad's illness and dying process is Barbara Karnes' booklets on the topic. She has written numerous pamphlets that are filled with such valuable information that she has learned over the course of her career as a hospice nurse. BK Books is her website and the pamphlets are $3 each. Game changing info for my family and me. Find her online and listen to her...she is very helpful. 🥰
Hi Colleen, Thank you for your replies --and a belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you! My mom died in the early morning hours on Tues. 7/25. It broke our hearts. She had been in hospice not quite two days. My last ride with her was in an ambulance from hospital to hospice but her eyes remained closed and she was not talking at all the entire trip. I don't think she could. And I don't know if she even knew she was outside. I am just seeing your response now so I will be looking at the pamphlets you recommended because we are not feeling too stable inside. She has called every night at 10 pm for quite a while now. As she got older she seemed to like a chat before bed where I would ask her about her day and vice versa. It was an easy way to also keep an eye on her health and well-being as she got older. Now my phone sits quiet at 10 pm. My sister is 8 yrs younger than I and also struggling. Our alcoholic brother continues to struggle in every way imaginable. Only now he doesn't have our mom to be verbally abusive to, or manipulate her for money for food, phone card, rides etc. I don't understand my reactions, Colleen. I loved her dearly despite at times being worn out from her increasing neediness sometimes. I never would have said that to HER but it was exhausting at times. But I miss her and yet I can't really cry much. It happened so quickly. We never thought she'd go to the e.r. on the afternoon of July 5th, be told she has a mass, be discharged 7/12, back in due to worsening shortness of breath on the 17th (which happened to be the anniversary date of when I first told her of the s*xual abuse by her husband as a kid) go to hospice on the 23rd and die on the 25th! 20 days of so much pain and stress! Poor mommy... and she was so scared! Why am I only able to cry a little? I almost feel in shock and numb, dissociated and other times the tears come in brief spurts. I haven't had a therapist in a while either so that's hard.
PS. to Colleen, I had to go have my mammogram while mom was in the hospital. It was in the building next door so I wasn't gone long. I always (except once it was questionable but turned out to be deodorant or powder residue) got good results and only had to go get a recheck that one time. THIS time however they spotted an area of concern in my left breast as well as "Asymmetry of left breast" and a spot on the nipple. Normally something like that would scare me. I can't feel fear. I have to go for more pictures and an ultrasound on August 7th and I thought of just not bothering but I know I should. I didn't tell mom because she was sick and had bigger issues and didn't NEED to leave this earth worrying! I believe in God so I have spiritual beliefs too. I'm glad you got your sign from your dad. I hope I can get one from our mom. We hated to do it but when we found mom had no life insurance due to her limited retirement income and no savings to speak of, my sister and I had to start a gofundme for her cremation and celebration of life service. I feel guilty. But being on disability makes it difficult to pay that myself and I'm not having my moms body sitting in a funeral home for several months. Plus she and her husband had been having problems for a while and had spoken of divorce but he initially didn't offer even a dime. Today he offered to "give 500" so that will help ease some of the stress. Gotta try and sleep. Its almost 6 am. Night night
@@loridontcaretotellu6497 I'm very sorry for your loss. It is SO fresh for you and your parts. In my opinion, it's normal to feel numb, dissociated and only able to cry a little. If you do feel a wave of a big cry coming, welcome it. Today is the first month that I haven't had my Dad alive in my life. Grief is an odd thing, and so much shifts and changes at the loss of an important person. And please do take care of your health. You are so worthy and important! 💜
So sorry for all of your loss.
Sending you love for easier, brighter days. I only recently found you. I really enjoy your content. Thank you.
Thanks Colleen. I am going through a very similar journey. My Dad passed 2 weeks ago. Sometimes I feel he is so close by, sometimes everything seems bleak. I also have a very young part who has been very upset. I am spending as much time in nature as i can. It is very healing. Sending you peace 🕊
Very sorry for your loss.
Colleen, THANKS in advance for this video! I haven't watched it yet because ive been at the hospital with my mom who has been quite ill. Shes elderly and had lung cancer in 2011. They removed a lung back then and it was considered "caught early. " she did well for 12 yrs. For a while now shes had several more or less mild symptoms and we would urge her to see her doctor, the doc would say it wasn't anything to worry about or, in the case of difficulty swallowing at times sent her to ear nose and throat doc. He saw nothing. Suspected GERD and for her cough the doc said post nasal drip. Then came pain from right side to back. Then shortness of breath. She is now in hospital for the 2nd time in 3 weeks, on oxygen, had nearly a liter of fluid removed from her lung. They found a 6x4 cm mass. Strong suspicion of cancer. Shes very weak, incontinent and we think we are losing her. I DON'T know how to DO this! How do I say goodbye? How do we survive no mommy anymore? 😢😭😭💔
Lori, my heart truly goes out to you and your Mom. You will discover you have a strength you never realized you had. Yesterday was my birthday and it was the first one in 58 years that Dad wasn't here to tell me Happy Birthday. It sounds so cliche, but I DID feel him and I DID have a sign from him that he is still with me in spirit. I don't know what your spiritual beliefs are, but for Dad and me, those beliefs are key to healing and not being utterly devastated and lost. When you watch the video, you'll hear me talk about Faith. That is how my parts and I get through. We know he's close by and we know he is free from his own lung disease and all the horrible medical issues like your Mom. Please keep me posted. ❤💜
Lori, another resource that helped me tremendously as we navigated Dad's illness and dying process is Barbara Karnes' booklets on the topic. She has written numerous pamphlets that are filled with such valuable information that she has learned over the course of her career as a hospice nurse. BK Books is her website and the pamphlets are $3 each. Game changing info for my family and me. Find her online and listen to her...she is very helpful. 🥰
Hi Colleen,
Thank you for your replies --and a belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!
My mom died in the early morning hours on Tues. 7/25. It broke our hearts. She had been in hospice not quite two days. My last ride with her was in an ambulance from hospital to hospice but her eyes remained closed and she was not talking at all the entire trip. I don't think she could. And I don't know if she even knew she was outside. I am just seeing your response now so I will be looking at the pamphlets you recommended because we are not feeling too stable inside. She has called every night at 10 pm for quite a while now. As she got older she seemed to like a chat before bed where I would ask her about her day and vice versa. It was an easy way to also keep an eye on her health and well-being as she got older. Now my phone sits quiet at 10 pm. My sister is 8 yrs younger than I and also struggling. Our alcoholic brother continues to struggle in every way imaginable. Only now he doesn't have our mom to be verbally abusive to, or manipulate her for money for food, phone card, rides etc.
I don't understand my reactions, Colleen. I loved her dearly despite at times being worn out from her increasing neediness sometimes. I never would have said that to HER but it was exhausting at times. But I miss her and yet I can't really cry much. It happened so quickly. We never thought she'd go to the e.r. on the afternoon of July 5th, be told she has a mass, be discharged 7/12, back in due to worsening shortness of breath on the 17th (which happened to be the anniversary date of when I first told her of the s*xual abuse by her husband as a kid) go to hospice on the 23rd and die on the 25th! 20 days of so much pain and stress! Poor mommy... and she was so scared!
Why am I only able to cry a little? I almost feel in shock and numb, dissociated and other times the tears come in brief spurts. I haven't had a therapist in a while either so that's hard.
PS. to Colleen,
I had to go have my mammogram while mom was in the hospital. It was in the building next door so I wasn't gone long. I always (except once it was questionable but turned out to be deodorant or powder residue) got good results and only had to go get a recheck that one time. THIS time however they spotted an area of concern in my left breast as well as "Asymmetry of left breast" and a spot on the nipple. Normally something like that would scare me. I can't feel fear. I have to go for more pictures and an ultrasound on August 7th and I thought of just not bothering but I know I should. I didn't tell mom because she was sick and had bigger issues and didn't NEED to leave this earth worrying! I believe in God so I have spiritual beliefs too. I'm glad you got your sign from your dad. I hope I can get one from our mom.
We hated to do it but when we found mom had no life insurance due to her limited retirement income and no savings to speak of, my sister and I had to start a gofundme for her cremation and celebration of life service. I feel guilty. But being on disability makes it difficult to pay that myself and I'm not having my moms body sitting in a funeral home for several months. Plus she and her husband had been having problems for a while and had spoken of divorce but he initially didn't offer even a dime. Today he offered to "give 500" so that will help ease some of the stress. Gotta try and sleep. Its almost 6 am. Night night
@@loridontcaretotellu6497 I'm very sorry for your loss. It is SO fresh for you and your parts. In my opinion, it's normal to feel numb, dissociated and only able to cry a little. If you do feel a wave of a big cry coming, welcome it. Today is the first month that I haven't had my Dad alive in my life. Grief is an odd thing, and so much shifts and changes at the loss of an important person. And please do take care of your health. You are so worthy and important! 💜
Not easy to discuss. You did very well. I guess the parts show up when they are needed. Hugs
Thank you!