Thank you so much for sharing your writing. To place these words on paper, to string together your essence in the midst of your struggle is truly a gift. And I can say, depression has been a real struggle for me esp these last few years. It’s takes immense courage to be vulnerable. And strength to get into the unknown to face yourself and see the broken pieces. This piece spoke profoundly to me. So, thank you. Here is a piece of my writing i too also wrote in 2017 in the middle of my pain. It’s just something I tucked away in my journal but surprisingly have come back to several times since to read because it helps in my dark times still. The Edges of a Breakthrough It's easy to find words when things are going fine The hard part comes when face down, crying To think, i'll just lay down and take what comes my way Is easier after such a long day. I hate this uncontrollable feeling. I hate I feel defeated. Tell the truth. I am only here because I fail to believe it's only a matter of climbing. Reaching. Being. Someone I'm not...quite Yet. But at the core, am most. To think, I'm doing this to myself seems crazy. I've come so far, beat and broken. I've worried over tedious details of pieces that just don't fit but have I even taken a look within? Have I ever reached toward myself and felt those empty pieces. My hands bleeding on those Sharp and jagged edges I've been running, reaching. I want it so bad. Trapped inside, Shouting. Frustration. Mind games. Tell myself lies. But it's not my mind stuck. It's my life. And the Right words never seem to come. Ive nurtured it. Gave it breath. But the duration of such a detrimental vacation seems to spin itself thin. The longing, the reach, too exhausted to climb. it leaves me dry. Leaves me empty. Id work myself in a hole. Digging deeper. Finding little treasures. Sacred gems of my world that surrounds me. But my careful bringing of this delicate life Leaves me searching for these measures for myself. To give and never receive is a painful grieve. And those pieces that pierce my stomach I can't help but feel Are The edges of a breakthrough, and I must break through. Or risk the loss of something real.
Rebecca Wilson Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this. You have a gift, and you are a gift. I’m honestly freaking out a hair sharing something so personal but to have a stranger come on and share their experience helps ease my mind. Thank you, thank you. Beautifully written. I wish you the absolute best and I appreciate you!
David Badurina I think it’s an invaluable thing. To be able to correspond to overwhelming issues we, as collective humans, face! We are writers...we have to same (infj) outlook on life and inner feelings and together our different voices not only can help us experience this world in a less lonely way BUT ALSO can show the world greater face value on things that effect. You aren’t alone and sharing your work opens it as a subject for analysis but also brings light and love to those who it’s meant to reach!! Keep it up!
I am astonished, shocked, speechless ... I never though that someone could put all what I am going through, feel, who I am into words. I am an INFJ and not sorry ;)
You don’t need anyone to tell you the truth. You are able to figure out your own thoughts and feelings. However, what INFJs really seek is closeness with someone to share ourselves completely, but that is only a fantasy and not attainable in this life. Therefore, we will never be whole and always be somewhat empty and yearning on the inside. I think every INFj will appreciate how you have let us have a peak inside. You are brave, but be careful and protect yourself. INFJs don’t need anymore regrets. We are so good at tormenting ourselves with regrets. I still have horrible regrets and flashbacks going back to grade school. It’s ridiculous.
All I wanted to do was give you that look and let you know that maybe just maybe you aren't alone. And I think being able to share yourself IS attainable, but you need a few different people to understand you in a few different ways. As always thank you so much for the comment! I appreciate you!
Hopefully no leaf blowers or chainsaws are about to go off, and THANK YOU for this amazing comment! I do a LOT of re-shooting and re-recording, it just looks polished because that's the version that hits closest to the mark, and it is a struggle getting it there. Best of luck to you, and here's to good health for you! Find that peace, my friend, however you can!
@@ocheltree1 Dear Fellow Alien, My heart pours out for you. Please get better, and as an INFJ, we with the Lord, Jesus Christ can survive anything. Thank you to you and David for sharing and for letting me know that I'm not alone. God made us this way and He knows our struggles. We are rare and completely misunderstood by all others. God made us special to be special so let's get on with it. God Bless
One of the hardest things for me... having others look at me as a person I never think I will become. It's a huge burden and struggle of constantly trying to be better, thinking I can get a little closer to that idealized version of me.
Oh my... I understand that desire. My ex girlfriend was a lot like that. It was tearing me apart. I just crumble when peoples expectations are too high. Former employers, family, etc.... One of my greatest fears is when people want me to perform for them. I don't mind it when it's on my own initiative, but when it's on theirs, it frustrates me.
@@DavidBadurina Thank you David for this video. It really did a lot for me, and can totally relate. Keep up the work you are doing. You currently have one of my favourite RUclips channels right now. Incredible content and it's one that really resonates with other INFJ's
That was painfully beautiful. You wrote and spoke straight from my mind and my heart. We always feel we are the only one who thinks these things. Thank you. Depression seems to be a bad best friend I cannot get rid of and it helps to know others struggle the same
@@DavidBadurina helo npj hetmne bhu paressan ktuchu jo saro and buro bnigyo ha tu nrhiyo mne andrmadollma kik thva lagiyu mne bchavn nrhhyo soryy amixon letla byha kam6 hoy6 tmnr vthehu ha dyajase pan khar ndithu bas blek miel mate kava ha vidieo aatyarthi gayb kase bs arlu khu jha post hti marthi rhrevanu bijane kine nhimlvnu hu khu tej bju htu yadnthi me keva jivn ma bhrua gya jivnma prla kinthi mlyu ne aavaloko no polis thi tene pakdavi me bthhi maru lreva mangu chhu vroi vichariyu marto koi nthi hu amoznn samat heran karu chu no hu msrpar 6 je tklif shn karids pan hu bhle aam bilo .pan andrthi mne thus ke mne jove mne maru bthu joya6 drek vkht mne tena bhath mehrim rhuchhne mar barkonau bhvisya bnigyu vichar ar chdijavchhu aekdm rova lagu chu teloko su karryo kyarek thya6 amizon aamj mnparedsan karto aan jroti tyre barkonu notu ppan tme deva nu kryu pala to mnyams ntaviyu ha drvanu htu tr ratth aavajmaa ki mara mate kik kava chahe6 bija divse aatlo prm bhro narm aavj aaviyo ha hve vididpo bnth mne foon pan nthi mlyo ring nth vgsti faltu 6 aamen karn maru srvas kol luti lava mage 6 bnth kar dv nto temans joseke te bhnkryu mara karn su kho chu me tmne ketlu bthu kavu tmara pase .o il kona sathe aave hmna mar dlkro khe bhanljajo pelo mans aave6 tena sathe me drvaja suthi gya khuda tmnr tndursti aaoe aapne femeli ne helthth sari rhe marjevu thrlayk kam khejo thankyo
Koi marji 6 ne kheva sivya nkya jajo nhelp nki bo marasatth tmarajeva he6 btha khda mane trsya rkhuya6 aamen mlya pachhi marbarko bhu mota nota me aek parri litho ari chtoyhi lyane bth bajo mari kya re koi purusni kamna nkarri loko nhu .oltti vat kar saru hoy te joti noto bas khuda aajthi aathrne mara barko koi purs mara jivnma nhiya aevkht mari nanakh pan avi lachari hve nhi koi sri vat kare ke temnna bne te jovanu bhn nthi jotu pan mar roye pisathi mate k hve aatmara ccmet bbnth kajo ntmarima eleses kono vak nthioi jotu houoya tema khuda te ichha matte pabnthi so bga diyu6 khvbr nthi padti
My mum told me this & it helped me understand my depression alot: "Depression is the brain's reaction, to the difference between, what you expected from life, and what you really got..." The moment i saw that, i remembered another thing she told me... "There are 2 ways to be happy in this world - either go out and get what makes you happy, or find a way to be happy with what you have right now, and that's just a matter of perception..." These 2 things helped me let go of a lot of things and focus on what i really needed to get out of my hole. But the biggest thing that helped me with depression was that when i was 3 i experienced a lot of violence & 1 night i thought "if i can just forget what i just saw i can be happy in the next moment" & in that second i made a decision for life at the deepest level to be happy no matter what... & THAT is your most powerful weapon against depression :)
That's what I've found out too. What hurts me the most are my own expectations. If I loose them and keep it more real, I'm more grateful and satisfied with my life.
This is why if you have already faced trauma as an INFJ it’s easy to get sucked in by a narc because all your focus has to be on them smh wow what a horrible conundrum.
Bina Bina You’re right and unfortunately it’s too late for that I’m afraid. Last relationship was with a narcissist. Hoping next time I won’t repeat the same mistake.
I have never felt so understood in such a short amount of time. Your writing is absolutely beautiful...And just knowing that other people like me exist and are searching for the same thing somehow makes me feel a little less alone.
David, one thing I discovered is I only remember the bad that I have done and I don’t remember the good, so my wife is trying to remind of the good things I’ve done over the years. This helps me fight off that thing we do where we destroy ourselves in our heads by telling ourselves we are worthless and horrible people. I realize how brave this video was for you to release. Thank you!
My wife reminds me as well. I try to keep the notes of appreciation I've gotten from people over the years, to remind myself, but it's my Mrs. who gets the job done. David is absolutely correct that writing helps!
That's true for me too! I read that all humans have the tendency to remember the bad things better, it's an old survival relict. The normal rate is 1:5. I think for INFJs it tends to be worse, especially when it's about ourselves. I've been writing a gratitude diary for a year now - and it changed the way I see the world a lot. Now you inspired a new idea in me... what if I write at least 1 good thing about myself every day? Mhhh...a real challenge, but I'll try that.
Never in a million years would I think that someone could or does understand that empty pit of despair and darkness, the loud noise I call my mind. When everyone around is in the crowd, I'm to the side standing alone an idle me just needed and wanting so badly to have someone reach out and say hey. It's ok. Come sit. But most of the time people think I'm being cold or just rude but I'm just uncomfortable and need a nudge to come back. I don't think words can really ever describe how grateful I am for this. you have made me feel again something I was unsure I could even do sometimes. You are really helping some truly lost unique people and you're amazing for that.
@@DavidBadurinaThat brought tears to my eyes and made me smile because I think as an INFJ it's easy to get lost in not being understood to the point you don't understand yourself. I have a question how long did you ponder making videos before you did it? I have been trying for so long but I judge myself so much that I just delete it before anyone has the chance to see. also, side note it's very nice to have a place to open a bit and know they know what the hell you're saying. Thank you.
@@lashiasurigao9323 I get it, believe me! I recorded my first video in June of 2018. Then I recorded a bunch more. Then I didn't post them. Deleted some. Re-recorded. Didn't post those either. In February my brother passed away suddenly and it shifted my perspective on a lot of things. Mostly, life is very short, and very precious, and if you don't do the things you feel in your heart like you need to do, time will pass and you never will. So I thought to myself, "I'm going to put myself out there, and sometimes it may hurt, and sometimes I may help someone." And here I am. I know it can have anxiety, but I think posting the first one, then the second one, and understanding that developing this is a marathon, not a sprint, is truly key. Thank you so much!
David, this INFJ is giving you a big hug right now. I think we INFJ types have varied stages of depression because we ARE aliens in many regards. Being a square peg in a world of round holes will lead us into these areas, given circumstances and time. I have a significant other who is an ISFJ, and in some parallel universe somewhere we are probably married, but not in this one. I’ve never met a more self sacrificing and loving person in my life. She is there for me when I need her in my depression states, and me with hers. However, I sometimes will sometimes hide my deepest fears and issues from her, and bleed alone. Not sure exactly why. Maybe I don’t want to negatively affect her. I, however, hope you find that person (a fellow alien) who connects with you and fights the demons of depression with you! Ever forward, David! Cheers, Jeff.
Cheers Jeff! I'm good now and have good people around me. This writing two years ago was what set me on the right path to make sure I had the right people around me. Thank you so much for the comment, I appreciate you!
Me too... I have journals of poems I've written... and I'm don't consider myself a writer. It's more of a hobby. But I've noticed I only write when I'm really sad, angry or depressed. It's was my outlet for many years.
I’m in my early 50’s, a former pro football player whose battled depression and anxiety and loneliness for most of my life, and I’m a writer, as well. I only recently discovered I’m an INFJ (an Alien), and this video truly resonated. Well done. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you . Thank you very much . Last year, I'd planned my death ... I'd lost EVERYTHING and had lost myself . Writing, keeping journals , etc ... helps . I'm SO GLAD that you've THE BALLS to do this video . My one person who understood my died in 2015 ... I still talk to him but ... he can no longer put his 2 hands upon my face and tell me that we /I'm okay . I go now alone . I love how you put yourself out into the world, as I did as being a public horseman ... My Lookout died ... you cause me to weep . My Paul always told me to " Shine " while doing my work / our work . Thank you , THANK YOU FOR YOUR HONESTY .
David, this is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read/listened to. As an INFJ, it makes me want to cry to experience someone putting all my most important thoughts and wishes into words. I wish I could broadcast this to everyone who knows me, to help with that feeling of me understanding them and what they are about but them not fully understanding me. This is a true gift and it makes me feel so grateful that there are people like you out there, such bravery and love. I speak for many of us when I say that this made us feel truly understood and supported ❤⭐
Mia - I don't know what to say. Just, thank you. This kind of sentiment is absolutely everything to me because when I posted this and had 10 views and zero comments I was in the big strong grip of self-doubt. Seeing an outpouring of support like this has really helped me be a little braver. I appreciate you, thank you SO much!
I'm getting misty-eyed here. Everything you described is how I've been feeling just about every day of my life. "Normal people don't get aliens like me." From one alien to another, let me reassure you that your unique qualities ARE a gift. Just knowing that there are others like me out there makes me feel a little less alone. Thank you for sharing.
Okay ... how did you get into my head? That’s a place I normally keep well hidden. A lifetime of experiences tells me not to show it to the world because ... they will not understand ... they will get that look on their faces and then make some excuse to go away. Your videos have done me so much good. I have been lonely for so long that it feels wonderful just to know that someone is out there feeling the same way I do. Thank you. In the midst of a large crowd of people screaming in languages I never learned, you are a quiet voice that I can understand. It means so much .
That's one of the sweetest things ever, Donna. Thank you so much for speaking up and saying so! We have a great community of regulars in these comment threads. Stay with us!
Oh I will stay with you, David! Because of you I found out that I am an INFJ. It answered so many questions. Before that I thought that I was just ... well, weird.
You brought me to tears. I wondered while listening, how many others started to get emotional. I understand you. I am you too and just knowing there are others, helps a bit. I ignored it for a long time. There's no ignoring yourself, not forever, especially when it's time to be physically still. Keep up the good work. :)
Thank you Andi, I appreciate that very much! Quite a few others said they were in tears. Clearly this feeling resonates and I'm glad it helps, even if only a little bit.
The Courage to be imperfect, Authenticity to be who you are, and Compassion to be kind to ourselves and others, are all bought at a high cost of Vulnerability. And that Vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity, innovation & change - Brene Brown. Thank you David for taking this risk and being vulnerable, thank you for this gift. Truly beautifully written....and I can relate with all of it. Greetings from fellow INFJ brother in South Africa. Love your work man!
"The Courage to be imperfect" ! I like that! So many times I keep thoughts and ideas to myself because I fear that they aren't good enough. Then I wonder if I am keeping something important to myself that could help someone. I appreciate many of the comments that I have read and of course David for sharing about depression. I find it all very relatable and helpful.
I just recently discovered I am an infj, Thank you so much for expressing yourself not only with spoken words but the unspoken ones.. Sending all my love 😍 from South Africa 🌍.
I go to therapy so i understand more about myself, I do not suffer from depression. I have had HUGE rough patches through my life, I seem to always pull out of it, through prayer, chanting, meditation. It works, best of luck to all INFJ's out there. Love you all
That was beautiful.. just so deep and so honestly raw. I related to many things.. It's a tall order for someone to fill an INFJ's hunger, and my own personal story is that I have only found it in the unconditional love of Jesus. Thank you for sharing, and I am so glad you are better now!
@@DavidBadurina I don't know if you will like this or not, it's a Christian song, however, I like to refer to it as my INFJ song. It's called Be Kind to Yourself" by Andrew Peterson. ruclips.net/video/TYriLGna4CI/видео.html
My relationship with Christ has been the single greatest thing that has kept me alive. I'm so thankful for the relationship I have with him. As pathetic as I feel in this world sometimes, I'm so grateful he has unfailing love.
THANKYOU. Your written work was just. A deep striking sigh of relief. Thank you for this. I don't feel quite so alone or alien myself. I watched it twice, full thru. And probably will time and time again. (Will like own each time I've watched)
'I am hidden, and feel alone', and during these moments, is when a narcissist comes along and lovebombs you to a hell you've never known before. This is the one quality that makes us really, really, vulnerable to toxic people. They offer us that which we need, and we can fall for it all the time.
@@DavidBadurina yep. Until you feel like you are constantly running away from something. From the world. Always in flight, like there's always a lion popping out from the shadows, ready to take a big chunk of meat from your person.
Thank you for sharing this, fellow INFJ here and I’d like to say that your writing is honestly beautiful. Such raw and truthful words that feel like deja vu to me. I love the bands playing in your mind analogy, that is exactly what it feels like to me as well. I never really knew I craved someone to physically place their hands on my face and tell me it was okay and what’s going on in my mind is understood. I’m bad at expressing my feelings because I don’t want to feel rejected or misunderstood by others so I prefer to figure out my problems on my own. Then I usually get stuck in the ni-ti loop and it all kind of spirals downwards from there. Next time I’m feeling overwhelmed by the bands in my mind I will allow someone to give me that kind of physical and emotional validation. I can’t thank you enough for being vulnerable and sharing your inner thoughts, you have helped me feel not so alone.
Thank you for this, Beck. I appreciate the compliments. Really glad that you're in a good place and hope the next time that awful Ni-Ti loop hits, it doesn't hit so hard, and doesn't keep you in the grips for too long. You're so very welcome, thank you for watching, and I appreciate you!
There was so much emotion in this it made my head explode with passion and love. As you were speaking I was thinking you need the biggest hug on Earth and then I realized when I got saved as a follower of Jesus that's why God bestowed upon me an overwhelming sense of love. I fell on my face in the middle of it one afternoon and ask the Lord to forgive me and help me take the pain away. Loneliness, invisible, not feeling Worthy, excetera excetera excetera. That very day my life has changed and I have trusted him ever since because I know I know that he loves me. But I guess I never really understood who I am. Until I was watching your videos and I see you in me. You are my mirror. Thank you! Now my journey makes more sense to me. Lord has used me for helping people. And now I understand why. Thank you! May my Father in Heaven bless you and keep you safe, and spread his love over you.
I am so absolutely gobsmacked. I could not have written what I have been through as well as you have. I am a 67 yr old INFJ male who only today found this link. I am unstable, erratic, and in need of being fitted for a tin-foil hat in the eyes of many. I doubted myself for decades, then 2 yrs. ago found I was INFJ. Also went red-pilled upon recognizing the narcissists in my life. Shackles & chains falling away like sand through fingers.
I am in tears listening to these words. You mirror almost word for word what I have felt, but had such a hard time admitting to and expressing. You have given me the encouragement to dare to be this vulnerable and real. The tip of the arrow of truth hitting bullseye. I bow to you and call you teacher, and I am 72. And all those who have commented here feels like the community I have always been looking for but didn't know existed. I feel very empowered.
David, Well done. Enjoy the journey of being you. Storms end and new ones are coming, find a trustworthy anchor. You are part of "Beaconwell" a light to guide and a source of deep refreshment. Learning to appreciate yourself helps you do so for others and visa-versa. The first rule of a rescuer..."Don't put yourself in a position to be rescued.". Be blessed..
That "first rule" can come with the misunderstanding of others, but we cannot pour out if we are empty, and we also must be vigilant concerning the emotional gravity wells of the narcissist .
You have a true gift to put into words what many are unable to explain. As an INFJ I have spent most of my life in and out of depression. I am in my 50’s so it has been a very long life of being misunderstood and feeling a complete disconnect with most people around me. Thank God I have a husband that understands and brings a sense of calm when life is spinning much too fast.
It’s as if you reached into my brain and pulled all of this out in a single mind sweep. Thank you so much for sharing this. Your writing has truly moved me beyond words.
Oh and I am speechless Dear David... I can understand your pain and resonate with them completely. I am happy to have read such an honest confessions of self reflection and good to know that eventually you've overcome it, or kind of rather. But whatsoever it maybe I am sure you have the potential in you to get back and rise again like a Phoenix. Your fans are here always to support you with all the beautiful and creative content that you come up with. I support you virtually.... Wishing you loads of luck and the best in life!!👍👍💖💖
@@DavidBadurina Indeed David! Very happy to know that... You're a brave and strong man with a beautiful soul!! Warm wishes and love to your kids too... I am sure you are the best nurturer and Dad! Take care...
Thank you so much for sharing these words with us! I cried, when I listened to them. I find myself in them too and I think many INFJs do, so it doesn't sound as private to me as it actually is to you. I do a German channel about INFJs and my own path to self acceptance and I think a lot about how much private things I want to reveal about myself on RUclips. But you are right...how can we help people if we don't dare to show ourselves as we are?
You articulated the struggle of being us, being alien. I found it profound and insiteful. Thank you, for being vulnerable and open, it was asif someone opened a door and light streamed in, we are not alone anymore. 🤗 Love your writing.
Thank you for this. I too am an INFJ, something I've only recently become aware of in my near mid forties and sadly far too late in life to be saved! I've always known I was unusual but never knew INFJ, or any other Briggs Mayer personality type was a thing until stumbling onto a video a few months ago that lead me down the usual route of discovery, must know more, must learn everything path. Now my affliction is oh so clear. Unfortunately in a life marred by tradegy, depression and poor choices I found myself very alone, my family all died, my friends all left and an extremely rocky road finally resulted in a mental breakdown from which I am still trying to recover but realise I probably never will. Recent events left me homeless, unemployed and very slightly disabled in one leg, a story in itself!! I could perhaps muster the drive to fight on but in a world devoid of meaning the motivation is sorely lacking. I will struggle on for as long as I can, hopefully find a low stress part time job just to regain my independence and then submit to a life of simplicity and solitude with all the pain of loneliness and none of the disappointment of being constantly misunderstood. Your words inspired me to write and as I have no other outlet your comments section bore the brunt. I thank you again for sharing and hope others find inspiration and knowledge in your words as I have.
It's not too late to be saved, not at all. Change can come at any time, at least that's my belief. You can shine, it's just small steps to get there. Keep that chin up, my friend. People out there understand you. Just look around these comments! I appreciate you and wish you the absolute best! Write, create if you have the urge, embrace and be you, I think that's all any of us can do.
Thanks so much for this. Literally crying throughout the video. It’s good knowing there’s someone out there that can describe what is going inside your mind in the moments that you cannot escape the madness inside your head. Thanks for sharing it with us, I know it takes a lot of courage in today’s world to allow yourself to be vulnerable, but that’s who we are.
Thank you Oswald! I appreciate you. And yes, it's scary putting yourself out there but at the same time I know a lot of people have my back here, and I'm not alone, and that gives strength to us all, doesn't it? Best to you, my friend, I appreciate you!
Hit the nail on the head. This is exactly what is going on in my head. I have been burying it my whole life. It is like I have to be two people to cope with the situation. Extroverted but the need to go into quiet. Introverted with the dread of being extroverted. A walking controversy.
This is a fabulous idea. I want to congratulate you on sharing your battle with depression. I believe anyone who utilizes writing for therapeutic purposes is wise. You may do it simply for yourself or to convey thoughts/feelings to someone or others especially for those who may have any kind of difficultly maybe communicating in other forms. This can create a more comfortable & safe outlet when trying to express oneself & can make an easier time to placing a bit more order & clarity to some of the things going on inside especially with the mixture that makes up an INFJ. Not everyone understands the complexity & depth that which resides within these types or someone else, for that matter. There is strength in weakness, dear sir and I give you the utmost respect for sharing such a personal struggle. I hope your bravery in sharing this- especially as a man, which most males have been taught that they have to push down or hide these types of feelings like they’re somehow immune to such things which to me or fear of appearing less ‘manly’ or whatever. I don’t care what gender you are we’re all human beings when it comes down to it & some are just better equipped with handling things. I hope your courage in sharing such intimate thoughts touches and helps other people to have the same bravery to do the same or even just trying to write simply for themselves. Whether it’s battling depression, inner turmoil, positive things or just creative writing in general is a wonderful idea. As a great quote once was written: “Sometimes the only way out is in.” The moment you said you feel like an alien among some other things, I was like: “This guy is 1 in my tribe.” You are a beautiful being. To all the other aliens, you are not alone and you are not as misunderstood & weird as you may think. We’re all just different & that is part of what makes each & every 1 of you beautiful.
J Mundis Thank you so much for this comment. I appreciate the compliments! It’s especially wonderful to come across another human who “gets it.” I appreciate you!
Wow... 🤯 I have never really been able to grasp why I always have been struggling fit in, and why nobody seems to get me, and why I've always been looking to find meaning and happiness in my life. Looking at this video makes it all so clear to me. Every part of your text applies to me. It describes almost exactly my own thoughts and feelings. I have always been considered to be a logical person and that is something that I have embraced, but when you read that part about not being able to apply logic to your own feelings, I recognize that so much! Me: "Does this person really like me?" Also me: "No. Why would she? You are worthless!" Me: "But she smiled when she saw me and came over to give me a hug?" Also me: "So? She probably does that all the time!" Me: "But..?" Also me: "Nope!" Thank you for sharing your text. Keep up the good work!
"Everybody see me, but nobody sees..." that is exactly how i feel. thank you for sharing, I had tears in my eyes listening to you. the similarities are uncanny. living in constant confusion and noise is exhausting. People just dont get us. they dont like us. cause they dont feel us. Thank you again!
Wow - over 500 comments. So far. Yes, I identify. You are a gift. I have been there. Yes. I amaze myself with my acting ability in public. You are not alone. Always remember, you are not alone. You are worthy. Beautifully said.
I remember when I was getting out of middle school and going to high school, all I thought was how worthless I thought I was. The reason why was because I wasn’t meeting everyone’s expectations, I wanted everyone to be happy with my work, and I couldn’t get others to be happy with my work. I was also hanging out with a group of kids at the time who weren’t the best, but I thought I could improve to be better, but they didn’t wanted to be helped, so they fought me until I couldn’t take it much longer. I felt lost and worthless, didn’t know what to do with myself. It only took me a year of self introspection that I learned why I was that, and I started to improve myself. I literally got tired of being the way I was and sought out to improve, and did that first by starting to run. Then I began to research things that I liked, I began to challenge myself more, and tried and currently trying to be a better version of myself. Right now I’m kind of in a rut in that process, things have been so hard for me now, I think I ran too far away. Looking at myself now and myself back then I can’t even recognize myself anymore, looking how much different I was. But in that I also saw that there is something inside me that hasn’t changed, which I guess is my own soul. Right now I guess I’m trying to understand what my own soul is, but it’s so warped and confusing that my brain can’t even comprehend really what it is. Maybe deep down inside of myself I do understand it, but any words that comes out of my mouth to describe is just meaningless mumbo jumbo. Though one thing I know is that the soul that is inside me will always be with me, no matter how I change physically, or in a sense, mentally, it will always stay the same. People always ask what is up above the clouds and says what is the meaning of what is up there, but I say that really meaning and purpose derived from what is inside you. Your purpose, my purpose, is to conquer all of our inner turmoils so we can come in peace with ourselves so that we can rejoice in what is around us. Sometimes that task is quiet simple, but most of the time it’s quiet daunting. We hate ourselves, eachother, and everything so we can love ouselves, eachother, and everything, and that’s what life is I guess. It’s kind of weird that I’m only 18, and I’m thinking about all this stuff, it’s really not normal for me to think about this. I guess I have to thank a certain television show for all this dumb but not dumb introspection (BoJack Horseman if you are wondering, recommend anybody to watch it, ESPECIALLY INFJ’s). I guess this is the gift I have to the world, which is to ponder and wonder until I loll over those who are curious enough to read my thoughts. Maybe my curiosity journey that made me go from a low self esteemed young teenager, to a older teenager that has the thoughts of what a older teenager shouldn’t have. Idk, honestly, but whoever really does know really, we live in a world full of I don’t know’s and I guess’s that we can’t sleep at night. Maybe that’s how the world proceeds to rotate all these years, is because we are too curious to actually drop dead of exhaustion. Sorry for the rambling, just a thought.
Don't apologize for thinking out loud, you're among friends here! It's so hard for younger INFJs, I remember those days myself SO well and what you're articulating here is just the exact feeling. Searching, trying to find the identity that matches what you're feeling but sensing that it's always just a step off or out of reach. It just takes time. Keep growing, keep doing the things that feed your soul, let go of who you think you should be and just be. All of it is the right mindset to adopt to just be a healthy INFJ. And even healthy, we're still going to be messed up here or there, and that's totally cool, it's part of the process. I haven't seen BoJack but I've had it recommended, I do need to give it a whirl! You are so much like me. Feeling like you're a seeker, journeying, just searching but maybe not quite sure what it is you're searching for. You'll find your place, or you'll find a place close, with good people. It's a long road, but a grand adventure indeed. Stay strong, be you, and forgive yourself for not being able to figure it out like it's an arithmetic problem. You are complex, and it's amazing!
Thank you so much for having the courage to share your writing. I am crying right now because I resonated so much with this and desperately needed to hear that someone else understands. Even though I am mortified that someone else goes through everything I go through on a daily basis, I also feel peace and hope, as this was a reminder that there are others out there who can feel and think this deeply and then come back out of the depths to share their gifts with the other "aliens" in the world. Thank you. You don't know how much I needed this today. ♥️♥️♥️
Hi Jennie, there are definitely others that feel so strongly. Just have a look at the comments on this video! We're together, at least for today! Thank you so much, and I wish you the absolute best in life! I appreciate you!
@@DavidBadurina I appreciate YOU and wish you the best also! Thank you for your kind response, and again thank you for putting yourself out there so others can connect in this way! Have you ever considered hosting a live INFJ discussion group? I know there are some groups out there, but they don't seem very deep or genuine from what I have gathered... I would love to participate and/or contribute if anyone else would be interested!
8:49 My brain LOL. I just had to make my boyfriend listen to your letter because it just explains everything so perfectly! Since learning about INFJ It's been serving me as a tool to more deeply explain certain things to him and also understand myself better in the process. I feel like you read my heart out. I'm speechless. Thank you for existing.
Thank you for existing in the same time as me. I appreciate you so much, and your efforts to be better understood, that's everything. Tell the BF I said hi, and tell him that you are a precious bit of magic in this world, because I am certain you are. Best to you both!
Thank you. I could see such courage welling up in your intro. This is beautifully expressed and so on the nose of how I feel. Glad to know I'm not the only one feeling these feelings and searching for the same things. Thank you, just thank you. ❤
Incredible poem! Yes it's so important to have someone in our lives that understands us. My hubby is that someone for me. For the past 28 years he has helped me focus not on the grey cloud above my head but the sunshine above his.
So good, David 👏🏻 You are a precious gift to all of us who’ve gone through something like this. Thank you so much for sharing. It’s beautiful even though it’s was you’re hard time that made it that way. Watching, I felt like the characters in your book came vividly to life here. Thank you again.
This made me cry. Thank you for sharing. I am an INFJ too and knowing that something like this exist makes me happy... These thoughts, ideas, feelings that I have is too overwhelming for me that I cannot transform them into words and have these words arranged to form a shareable information. This writing put it all together... So big thanks
Hi David, thank you for what you have posted. I recently discovered I’m an INFJ and until then I lived in misery wallowing in my own depression and cursing my misunderstood life. What you wrote is eye opening. It gives me such comfort to know that I’m not alone in this struggle where the battles I fight in my mind are endless. Thank you for making me realize there are others out there like me. I feel a little less burdened than I usually do. A little lighter. A little less alone. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this beautiful comment, Nadia. You are not alone, just look at some of the comments! There are so many of us feeling this way! Know that I appreciate you!
Beautifully done. I am in the midst but also in a different life period. No core responsibility but to myself and as I believe you know, the self is not most important, it is the whole, what we can do or give understanding in seeing the angst and discord among all. I in my head, feeling overwhelmed by the external stresses that know no boundaries. I am lost, trying to break out of my stagnation, get back into the game with all I the understanding I have garnered and find a way to employ it to help us all. But I am stuck. Waiting for ... But I know I am just losing time as I could be getting much done during this waiting. But I am stuck. Again, your story is valuable and writing beautiful. Thank you - infj
This is amazing!!! I am an Infj and a therapist. I work with some many people who are depressed. People get exhausted and they help and support and love.
I came into my bedroom to seek a sanctuary from the overwhelm and deep despair I was feeling . I opened RUclips ( mostly to distract myself from myself ) and your video began to play. With every word I shed another tear . I’m not alone , I’m not the only Alien struggling to prosper in a world I’m completely at odds with , yet constantly celebrated for the fraud I feel I am . Today I can feel all that I feel and sense all that I sense and it’s OK . From one INFJ to another , thank you . You made an impact in my life and when I’m inevitably feeling alone again , I’ll watch this video and be reminded that there’s someone else out there who gets it .
I never knew another human being felt the way I do. Thank you so much for putting your heart into words. I don't write for fear I will be misunderstood by my family when the words are found. Fear that I will lose them because of words that are so strong and intense. Some how I feel better hearing how you went through depression. All I crave is deep connection and understanding. As an INFJ I feel like an alien. I can see people but they can't see me. It's tough. Thanks again😊
I had that person. That one connection where I didn’t have to be anyone else but me. Where my vulnerability and my deepest thoughts weren’t something I had to hide. He always said “you can do it”. There was no “can’t” in his book. Never have I had a bigger support in my life or someone who believed in my dreams like him. He made me dare to be more and do more and he got me out of my shell so to speak. And while I do believe we can learn to be these things for ourselves too, it’s been really hard getting on without him. I landed on this video because your video about your brother popped up as a suggestion. I’d like to extend my condolences to you. I wasn’t going to make another comment but, how could I not in this case.
This precious gift that you lost is still within you i guess. Looks like he helped you in your personnal journey, opened your eyes on the beauty and strength of who you are. Wish you safe travel in this world today and the coming decades.
Isabelle, That’s a nice way to think of it I guess. Thank you 🙏🏻 yes I carry him with me in my heart everyday. He was my soulmate and he passed away in February this year. I miss him very much.
Beautiful writing. It’s so amazing to hear your words from your mind and heart. Your intuition is beautifully written and from the depth of you. I wrote this in the middle of a panic attack in my head: I have come to this planet which has I have called home. Not knowing what I face or what my desire or its pleasures. This world is full of knowledge and even less understanding it's compendiums. Knowledge is easy, it's structured, orderly, and without the use of ones power to create what's truly their life's course. Humanity suffers its darkest hours when one lets time pass by its empty shell. Neither knowing the truth of being knowing but oblivious to is endurance. Men have tried to pen its wonders and its madness, even myself I have show its remarkable ability to survive in a world that far different from my own. I am not unique I am just the new soul that lives in a shell surround by my own air in which I inhale and exhale. Sleeping in the same bed, night after night and rising to be in the earthen body that is mortal and frail. My mind has other plans, my heart leads me to not know where i cannot find the answers. My friends are but pawns in my games, checkmate is my goal nor is it my aim to win, but to survive till I lose. I search for a dissent memory for what was and what is to come. Relying too much on either takes away from moments your could experience. I am not alone, nor am I an alien I am myself. I have found comfort in control and freedom is my burden, but somehow I don't fit those either. I am becoming the greats success and failure of my mind. Where I sit nor lay is not of consequence but it is the thought of where and how will it all end. I am stuck but running to my future only to know that the future has already won. A history isn't what makes it true its what helps us understand what can or has happened but the present is where the mystery begins. Where does it stop or end? No one knows that, it was not granted to us. Death has nor question nor its purpose unknown till one faces it. I shall not face it for many years but for some it is tomorrow, today, or even yesterday. What is running back? What is finding the meaning of who am I? I know who I am now, it's only a matter of who am I yesterday. Stand still around the world and no one notices till you move an inch to the right, or left, or forward, or backwards. Society has made us who we think we are on the inside but the shell of a mortal only things in absolutes. I think it is grander to thing of multiple personas. I have spent ages on the inside thinking outward in, but the truth is we all look inward to look out. I do not know what my mind possesses or why it thinks in ways that I can not know. Death has no freedom or enslavement it is nothing worthy of our attention. Finding a home, establish its routine, running from what could be is not the place I wish to go. Forgiven society is.
Thank you so much for this amazing comment and sharing your writing! I'm so happy to see people sharing some of their own thoughts on this comment thread. I appreciate you!
This is the Story of My Life. It seems like poetry to my ears. Very strong telling through my teens and my twenties. My thirties kind of were a blip dealing with different levels of addiction. My forties blessed me with my one and only child. My son. He is very much like me. I am now 47 years old approaching 48 soon and the last year or two have been very eye-opening of the flexion on my life and realizing it's okay to be me. Music flipping through 80s on 8, 90s on 9, and classic rewind on SiriusXM helps me get through my days while I'm driving in the car. Simply sliding my sunglasses down over my eyes even in a doll day with very little sunlight and rocking out in my own space of the car is a peaceful Delight of searching out sensation. As per the above it helps me through so many Rocky situations of life. I am voice texting and cannot control the punctuation. This is your footnote.
As an INFJ, too, I can relate to all your struggles, your love for writing, for knowledge... seeking for information is like our secret happy and magical world where we can freely let ourselves go. Greetings from Portugal!
Hello fellow alien. Spent years thinking I was the only one. Nice to meet you. Nice to know someone else understands. Nice to be reminded that we are special and worth it. Thank You!
Luka Vičič Thank you Luka. I appreciate you. Ultimately it’s my channel so it’s going to be about me to a degree, but I get such fulfillment from helping others through experience. Thank you!
It’s so funny how we literally have the same thought process. Beautiful writing, congratulations on that, and thank you for sharing it with us. Watching your videos helps me imagine myself as a healthier INFJ and work towards it with the correct approach. I hope that this channel also helps you get in touch with your extroverted feeling!
It does. I feel like I'm helping some people just by showing who I am, and while that's scary in today's social media world, I'm finding some strength and fulfillment when people simply say "thank you." So ... thank you! :-)
David Badurina yeah it must be so scary. But I believe that the grand majority of your subscribers appreciate you for you. And I want to let you know that to me you’re a very healthy and aware INFJ, and an example to us all. So while it’s definitely necessary to strive for personal growth, realize that you’re awesome and are doing really cool things!
@@ginargentum Thank you so much! I do appreciate that and I feel like at this point I'm a (fairly) healthy INFJ. I still have my moments of INFJing, but that's always going to be a thing. The big difference now is that I know what I need to take care of myself.
This piece of writing is darkly beautiful, and resonates with me as a fellow infj. Thank you for being brave enough to share it! The only person who will give me all of these things without fail is Jesus. Whether he comes to me to wipe the tears from my heart in a moment of silence, or through the smile of a friend who really "gets me," He is there saying "I love you, I value you, you can trust Me." And recently I've realized that's what I need: trust.
I think every INFJ can identify with what you went through and everything you going to have happen to you. Because we can manifest our future which can be a total disaster.
@@DavidBadurina .....my thing is finding anybody around me. I don't get people anymore. I'm totally a fly on the wall. Until your show I had nothing in common with anything.
This is such an amazing video. I'm an INFJ and I've watched tons and tons of INFJ videos and this is the only one that's made me cry. I resonated with every single thing you said. Thank you for having the courage to be vulnerable on RUclips
Wow!!!! That was so incredible and I can so relate!!!! Only thing I question, that person that your looking for is God! I have been single a long time, as an infj I lead that same lonely 😔 life. I’m nearing out of my depression hopefully. I at least feel a little better, as I to did write!!!!! I wrote a poem. It helped me a lot!!!! Your words are inspiring and I feel you!!! I may not be the alien your looking for, but please let it be known you are not alone my friend!!!!!
Thank you Paula. This was two years ago (when it was written). I'm at peace and in a good place these days, but it was a rough time. Having the right support in my world was everything. Thank you so much for the comment!
You should try Christ as a relationship with Him best describes what you so greatly desire! As an older INFJ, I understand YOU, and ca relate. Keep sharing your writing. As a writer myself, I appreciate your thoughts, and ideas.
That took courage. Thank you. I heard you describing me quite a few times. Writing helped me too. But Finding fellow INFJs has helped the most. Thank you for putting yourself out there. It’s appreciated more than you’ll ever know.
Just perfect. It's only been the last decade or so that I've learned about being an INFJ and a HSP. I can't begin to explain the relief in just knowing there were terms for what I felt, that there were other people that felt the same! Thank you for sharing! If it wasn't for the yous in the world, the mes of the world would still be hopelessly spiraling.
Thank you for sharing. I know how difficult that was to do. This hit home for me. Im there. That's me. Right now. I have lumped it all in one word... LOST. 44 yrs old and i feel lost. Not that I want to belong or fit in, but who I am/was is lost and its an awful feeling. So much has happened in 4 yrs. Lost and I need silence so i can find myself but I can't sit still long enough bc its overwhelming so I just do. Go. Anything to keep me busy. Robotic if you will. Numb. And no-one notices.
Hi Tabetha - thank you. Lost is about right. Take that time to take internal inventory - allow yourself to hurt, and forgive yourself. I hope you find your way back to shining soon, I believe in you, you can do it. Wishing you the best and I appreciate you!
Hi Dave! God put you in this world for a reason. I’m 51 years old. Have my own construction business for 28 years now. 3 black belts. Two beautiful girls that are my life, beautiful house but going through a divorce. For 20 years I felt like she never understood me. When we used to get in fights I said to her I must be from another planet. Sad than after giving and giving for so many years I have to come to the point of telling myself that I have to take care of myself now. I did the personality test a few weeks ago and all I’ve been doing it’s looking at different people on RUclips. Then I found you. You have a gift of understanding INFJ. This video it’s super powers for people like us. “SORRY” for my English. I’m originally from Venezuela. Thank you. Don’t ever stop my friend
Maybe I'm too late to comment on this, I just want to thank you for sharing this heartwarming message with us. As a fellow INFJ I just know what it means to share this kind of writing with someone. I'm going through a depressing phase and this made me feel better.Thanks a bunch.
Thank you Alison. I'm very proud of this piece of writing, and I really feel like it has helped people. It's so nice to hear from anyone on this one, especially if it really resonates.
As another INFJ currently struggling with depression I felt this. I felt the pain and struggle and how heavy it feels to live having to put up a face because the show must go on. It was a bittersweet feeling reading it all because this is how I feel now and there is some level of comfort that I’m not the only one feeling like this. You felt this way and I do write to get those overwhelming contradictions out that no one understands
Dearest David this is magnificent. I have felt like this all my life! It is so moving to know as you say 'I want someone like me'. Having heard you put it so clearly into words, makes me at last understand that there are others out there who think the same! Thank you so much!,🤗
This speaks to me. This brought out tears of understanding on a deep level. I love the way you explained the INFJ thought process and how things can become jumbled. I see it as several full puzzles mixed together in a box, yet there are still missing peices we are searching for. A pattern, something to make sense of it all.
Thank you so much for sharing your writing. To place these words on paper, to string together your essence in the midst of your struggle is truly a gift. And I can say, depression has been a real struggle for me esp these last few years. It’s takes immense courage to be vulnerable. And strength to get into the unknown to face yourself and see the broken pieces. This piece spoke profoundly to me. So, thank you. Here is a piece of my writing i too also wrote in 2017 in the middle of my pain. It’s just something I tucked away in my journal but surprisingly have come back to several times since to read because it helps in my dark times still.
The Edges of a Breakthrough
It's easy to find words when things are going fine
The hard part comes when face down, crying
To think, i'll just lay down and take what comes my way
Is easier after such a long day.
I hate this uncontrollable feeling.
I hate I feel defeated.
Tell the truth.
I am only here because I fail to believe it's only a matter of climbing. Reaching. Being.
Someone I'm not...quite Yet.
But at the core, am most.
To think, I'm doing this to myself seems crazy.
I've come so far, beat and broken.
I've worried over tedious details of pieces that just don't fit
but have I even taken a look within?
Have I ever reached toward myself and felt those empty pieces.
My hands bleeding on those Sharp and jagged edges
I've been running, reaching.
I want it so bad. Trapped inside, Shouting. Frustration. Mind games. Tell myself lies.
But it's not my mind stuck. It's my life.
And the Right words never seem to come.
Ive nurtured it. Gave it breath.
But the duration of such a detrimental vacation seems to spin itself thin.
The longing, the reach, too exhausted to climb.
it leaves me dry. Leaves me empty.
Id work myself in a hole. Digging deeper. Finding little treasures. Sacred gems of my world that surrounds me.
But my careful bringing of this delicate life
Leaves me searching for these measures for myself.
To give and never receive is a painful grieve.
And those pieces that pierce my stomach
I can't help but feel
Are The edges of a breakthrough,
and I must break through.
Or risk the loss of something real.
Rebecca Wilson Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this. You have a gift, and you are a gift. I’m honestly freaking out a hair sharing something so personal but to have a stranger come on and share their experience helps ease my mind. Thank you, thank you. Beautifully written. I wish you the absolute best and I appreciate you!
David Badurina I think it’s an invaluable thing. To be able to correspond to overwhelming issues we, as collective humans, face! We are writers...we have to same (infj) outlook on life and inner feelings and together our different voices not only can help us experience this world in a less lonely way BUT ALSO can show the world greater face value on things that effect. You aren’t alone and sharing your work opens it as a subject for analysis but also brings light and love to those who it’s meant to reach!! Keep it up!
Powerful! Thank you for sharing this Rebecca Wilson ♡
Goosebumps.. Thank you for this piece of art miss Rebecca.
And bless you David!!
TheAwakenedINFJ happy it spoke to you!
I am astonished, shocked, speechless ... I never though that someone could put all what I am going through, feel, who I am into words. I am an INFJ and not sorry ;)
I mean, I had to put the (sorry) there just for a little fun. Thank you though. This means so very much to me and I appreciate you!
ME TOO...NIW I KNOW...AND IM OLDER...AND READY....😉😁
You don’t need anyone to tell you the truth. You are able to figure out your own thoughts and feelings. However, what INFJs really seek is closeness with someone to share ourselves completely, but that is only a fantasy and not attainable in this life. Therefore, we will never be whole and always be somewhat empty and yearning on the inside. I think every INFj will appreciate how you have let us have a peak inside. You are brave, but be careful and protect yourself. INFJs don’t need anymore regrets. We are so good at tormenting ourselves with regrets. I still have horrible regrets and flashbacks going back to grade school. It’s ridiculous.
All I wanted to do was give you that look and let you know that maybe just maybe you aren't alone. And I think being able to share yourself IS attainable, but you need a few different people to understand you in a few different ways.
As always thank you so much for the comment! I appreciate you!
Hopefully no leaf blowers or chainsaws are about to go off, and THANK YOU for this amazing comment!
I do a LOT of re-shooting and re-recording, it just looks polished because that's the version that hits closest to the mark, and it is a struggle getting it there.
Best of luck to you, and here's to good health for you! Find that peace, my friend, however you can!
@@DavidBadurina , thank's David. And you as well. I'll be back, sub'd!
@@ocheltree1 Dear Fellow Alien, My heart pours out for you. Please get better, and as an INFJ, we with the Lord, Jesus Christ can survive anything. Thank you to you and David for sharing and for letting me know that I'm not alone. God made us this way and He knows our struggles. We are rare and completely misunderstood by all others. God made us special to be special so let's get on with it. God Bless
@@דיןהיכל , I loved, loved, loved your reply. Thank you so much! Yes! I'm gonna get on with it! Big Hug & many blessings to you and yours : )
Crying so hard, cause it could have been me who wrote all this.
Jaqueline. Thank you. I understand and appreciate you!
Me too. Have a great day! :)
Jacqueline, you took the words right out of my head.
Same.
Me too!
One of the hardest things for me... having others look at me as a person I never think I will become.
It's a huge burden and struggle of constantly trying to be better, thinking I can get a little closer to that idealized version of me.
Linda Maley Never forget, you are a gift, exactly as is!
Oh my... I understand that desire. My ex girlfriend was a lot like that. It was tearing me apart. I just crumble when peoples expectations are too high. Former employers, family, etc.... One of my greatest fears is when people want me to perform for them. I don't mind it when it's on my own initiative, but when it's on theirs, it frustrates me.
@@John-ih7gp I hear that!
@@DavidBadurina Thank you David for this video. It really did a lot for me, and can totally relate. Keep up the work you are doing. You currently have one of my favourite RUclips channels right now. Incredible content and it's one that really resonates with other INFJ's
That was painfully beautiful. You wrote and spoke straight from my mind and my heart. We always feel we are the only one who thinks these things.
Thank you. Depression seems to be a bad best friend I cannot get rid of and it helps to know others struggle the same
Joyous Prairies Thank you! I appreciate you!
@@DavidBadurina helo npj hetmne bhu paressan ktuchu jo saro and buro bnigyo ha tu nrhiyo mne andrmadollma kik thva lagiyu mne bchavn nrhhyo soryy amixon letla byha kam6 hoy6 tmnr vthehu ha dyajase pan khar ndithu bas blek miel mate kava ha vidieo aatyarthi gayb kase bs arlu khu jha post hti marthi rhrevanu bijane kine nhimlvnu hu khu tej bju htu yadnthi me keva jivn ma bhrua gya jivnma prla kinthi mlyu ne aavaloko no polis thi tene pakdavi me bthhi maru lreva mangu chhu vroi vichariyu marto koi nthi hu amoznn samat heran karu chu no hu msrpar 6 je tklif shn karids pan hu bhle aam bilo .pan andrthi mne thus ke mne jove mne maru bthu joya6 drek vkht mne tena bhath mehrim rhuchhne mar barkonau bhvisya bnigyu vichar ar chdijavchhu aekdm rova lagu chu teloko su karryo kyarek thya6 amizon aamj mnparedsan karto aan jroti tyre barkonu notu ppan tme deva nu kryu pala to mnyams ntaviyu ha drvanu htu tr ratth aavajmaa ki mara mate kik kava chahe6 bija divse aatlo prm bhro narm aavj aaviyo ha hve vididpo bnth mne foon pan nthi mlyo ring nth vgsti faltu 6 aamen karn maru srvas kol luti lava mage 6 bnth kar dv nto temans joseke te bhnkryu mara karn su kho chu me tmne ketlu bthu kavu tmara pase .o il kona sathe aave hmna mar dlkro khe bhanljajo pelo mans aave6 tena sathe me drvaja suthi gya khuda tmnr tndursti aaoe aapne femeli ne helthth sari rhe marjevu thrlayk kam khejo thankyo
Koi marji 6 ne kheva sivya nkya jajo nhelp nki bo marasatth tmarajeva he6 btha khda mane trsya rkhuya6 aamen mlya pachhi marbarko bhu mota nota me aek parri litho ari chtoyhi lyane bth bajo mari kya re koi purusni kamna nkarri loko nhu .oltti vat kar saru hoy te joti noto bas khuda aajthi aathrne mara barko koi purs mara jivnma nhiya aevkht mari nanakh pan avi lachari hve nhi koi sri vat kare ke temnna bne te jovanu bhn nthi jotu pan mar roye pisathi mate k hve aatmara ccmet bbnth kajo ntmarima eleses kono vak nthioi jotu houoya tema khuda te ichha matte pabnthi so bga diyu6 khvbr nthi padti
This is truly the purest infj content, sincere and raw
Thank you Claudia, I appreciate that very much.
My mum told me this & it helped me understand my depression alot:
"Depression is the brain's reaction, to the difference between, what you expected from life, and what you really got..."
The moment i saw that, i remembered another thing she told me...
"There are 2 ways to be happy in this world - either go out and get what makes you happy, or find a way to be happy with what you have right now, and that's just a matter of perception..."
These 2 things helped me let go of a lot of things and focus on what i really needed to get out of my hole.
But the biggest thing that helped me with depression was that when i was 3 i experienced a lot of violence & 1 night i thought "if i can just forget what i just saw i can be happy in the next moment" & in that second i made a decision for life at the deepest level to be happy no matter what... & THAT is your most powerful weapon against depression :)
leighatkins22 That’s wonderful advice from a wise Mom right there. Thank you so much for watching! An attitude of gratitude is a wonderful thing!
That's what I've found out too. What hurts me the most are my own expectations. If I loose them and keep it more real, I'm more grateful and satisfied with my life.
Omg, “Seeking any and all outside stimulation so I don’t have to fight the fight inside.” I so identified with this statement.
I'm so happy it resonated, Michelle! Thank you!
That's me today.
This is why if you have already faced trauma as an INFJ it’s easy to get sucked in by a narc because all your focus has to be on them smh wow what a horrible conundrum.
Bina Bina You’re right and unfortunately it’s too late for that I’m afraid. Last relationship was with a narcissist. Hoping next time I won’t repeat the same mistake.
I have never felt so understood in such a short amount of time. Your writing is absolutely beautiful...And just knowing that other people like me exist and are searching for the same thing somehow makes me feel a little less alone.
Wow, thank you! I appreciate that very much Emily!
From one INFJ to all the others of us, thanks so much for putting words on it all. God Bless from Ireland
Thank you Elizabeth! Hello to Ireland!
David, one thing I discovered is I only remember the bad that I have done and I don’t remember the good, so my wife is trying to remind of the good things I’ve done over the years. This helps me fight off that thing we do where we destroy ourselves in our heads by telling ourselves we are worthless and horrible people. I realize how brave this video was for you to release. Thank you!
Feed Ti Child Thank you so much! Over time I’ve let the right people in so I have support where and how I need. Appreciate you!
My wife reminds me as well. I try to keep the notes of appreciation I've gotten from people over the years, to remind myself, but it's my Mrs. who gets the job done. David is absolutely correct that writing helps!
That's true for me too! I read that all humans have the tendency to remember the bad things better, it's an old survival relict. The normal rate is 1:5. I think for INFJs it tends to be worse, especially when it's about ourselves. I've been writing a gratitude diary for a year now - and it changed the way I see the world a lot. Now you inspired a new idea in me... what if I write at least 1 good thing about myself every day? Mhhh...a real challenge, but I'll try that.
@@silva-schattensang Great idea. I will try the same. Thank you!
Never in a million years would I think that someone could or does understand that empty pit of despair and darkness, the loud noise I call my mind. When everyone around is in the crowd, I'm to the side standing alone an idle me just needed and wanting so badly to have someone reach out and say hey. It's ok. Come sit. But most of the time people think I'm being cold or just rude but I'm just uncomfortable and need a nudge to come back.
I don't think words can really ever describe how grateful I am for this. you have made me feel again something I was unsure I could even do sometimes. You are really helping some truly lost unique people and you're amazing for that.
That comment hits my heart hard, Lashia. Thank you. I appreciate you and I know you shine bright! Even though others may not, I see you!
@@DavidBadurinaThat brought tears to my eyes and made me smile because I think as an INFJ it's easy to get lost in not being understood to the point you don't understand yourself.
I have a question how long did you ponder making videos before you did it? I have been trying for so long but I judge myself so much that I just delete it before anyone has the chance to see. also, side note it's very nice to have a place to open a bit and know they know what the hell you're saying. Thank you.
@@lashiasurigao9323 I get it, believe me! I recorded my first video in June of 2018. Then I recorded a bunch more. Then I didn't post them. Deleted some. Re-recorded. Didn't post those either.
In February my brother passed away suddenly and it shifted my perspective on a lot of things. Mostly, life is very short, and very precious, and if you don't do the things you feel in your heart like you need to do, time will pass and you never will.
So I thought to myself, "I'm going to put myself out there, and sometimes it may hurt, and sometimes I may help someone." And here I am.
I know it can have anxiety, but I think posting the first one, then the second one, and understanding that developing this is a marathon, not a sprint, is truly key. Thank you so much!
David, this INFJ is giving you a big hug right now. I think we INFJ types have varied stages of depression because we ARE aliens in many regards. Being a square peg in a world of round holes will lead us into these areas, given circumstances and time. I have a significant other who is an ISFJ, and in some parallel universe somewhere we are probably married, but not in this one. I’ve never met a more self sacrificing and loving person in my life. She is there for me when I need her in my depression states, and me with hers. However, I sometimes will sometimes hide my deepest fears and issues from her, and bleed alone. Not sure exactly why. Maybe I don’t want to negatively affect her. I, however, hope you find that person (a fellow alien) who connects with you and fights the demons of depression with you! Ever forward, David! Cheers, Jeff.
Cheers Jeff! I'm good now and have good people around me. This writing two years ago was what set me on the right path to make sure I had the right people around me. Thank you so much for the comment, I appreciate you!
Writing poetry helped a ton with depression. Eventually I pulled out. But yes, writing ANYTHING and EVERYTHING helps.
Indeed it does!
Yes, writing somehow extracts all of what we have going on and lets us analyze ourselves in the 3rd person and we can then know what we need.
Me too... I have journals of poems I've written... and I'm don't consider myself a writer. It's more of a hobby. But I've noticed I only write when I'm really sad, angry or depressed. It's was my outlet for many years.
I’m in my early 50’s, a former pro football player whose battled depression and anxiety and loneliness for most of my life, and I’m a writer, as well. I only recently discovered I’m an INFJ (an Alien), and this video truly resonated. Well done. Thank you for sharing.
Thank YOU Jeff. I appreciate the comment so much, and I'm very happy it resonated with you. Aliens unite! We're not alone! Best to you!
Thank you . Thank you very much .
Last year, I'd planned my death ... I'd lost EVERYTHING and had lost myself .
Writing, keeping journals , etc ... helps .
I'm SO GLAD that you've THE BALLS to do this video .
My one person who understood my died in 2015 ... I still talk to him but ... he can no longer put his 2 hands upon my face and tell me that we /I'm okay .
I go now alone .
I love how you put yourself out into the world, as I did as being a public horseman ...
My Lookout died ... you cause me to weep .
My Paul always told me to " Shine " while doing my work / our work .
Thank you , THANK YOU FOR YOUR HONESTY .
Thank you so much Brooks. I appreciate you, and you keep shining, my friend!
Practicing yoga regularly helps you feel better.hope you are fine.stay strong
David, this is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read/listened to. As an INFJ, it makes me want to cry to experience someone putting all my most important thoughts and wishes into words. I wish I could broadcast this to everyone who knows me, to help with that feeling of me understanding them and what they are about but them not fully understanding me. This is a true gift and it makes me feel so grateful that there are people like you out there, such bravery and love. I speak for many of us when I say that this made us feel truly understood and supported ❤⭐
Mia - I don't know what to say. Just, thank you. This kind of sentiment is absolutely everything to me because when I posted this and had 10 views and zero comments I was in the big strong grip of self-doubt. Seeing an outpouring of support like this has really helped me be a little braver. I appreciate you, thank you SO much!
Mia- Ditto👍🏼👍🏼
I'm getting misty-eyed here. Everything you described is how I've been feeling just about every day of my life.
"Normal people don't get aliens like me." From one alien to another, let me reassure you that your unique qualities ARE a gift. Just knowing that there are others like me out there makes me feel a little less alone. Thank you for sharing.
I'm glad it resonates with you! Thank you for commenting, I appreciate you!
Okay ... how did you get into my head? That’s a place I normally keep well hidden. A lifetime of experiences tells me not to show it to the world because ... they will not understand ... they will get that look on their faces and then make some excuse to go away. Your videos have done me so much good. I have been lonely for so long that it feels wonderful just to know that someone is out there feeling the same way I do. Thank you. In the midst of a large crowd of people screaming in languages I never learned, you are a quiet voice that I can understand. It means so much .
That's one of the sweetest things ever, Donna. Thank you so much for speaking up and saying so! We have a great community of regulars in these comment threads. Stay with us!
Oh I will stay with you, David! Because of you I found out that I am an INFJ. It answered so many questions. Before that I thought that I was just ... well, weird.
You brought me to tears. I wondered while listening, how many others started to get emotional. I understand you. I am you too and just knowing there are others, helps a bit. I ignored it for a long time. There's no ignoring yourself, not forever, especially when it's time to be physically still.
Keep up the good work. :)
Thank you Andi, I appreciate that very much! Quite a few others said they were in tears. Clearly this feeling resonates and I'm glad it helps, even if only a little bit.
I cried... I am crying.
"Everyone can see me but nobody sees... ME." Now that is beautiful and I don't think I could relate more to any other quote
Thank you so much for that. I appreciate you watching and I'm glad that resonated!
The Courage to be imperfect, Authenticity to be who you are, and Compassion to be kind to ourselves and others, are all bought at a high cost of Vulnerability. And that Vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity, innovation & change - Brene Brown.
Thank you David for taking this risk and being vulnerable, thank you for this gift. Truly beautifully written....and I can relate with all of it. Greetings from fellow INFJ brother in South Africa. Love your work man!
Much
"The Courage to be imperfect" ! I like that! So many times I keep thoughts and ideas to myself because I fear that they aren't good enough. Then I wonder if I am keeping something important to myself that could help someone. I appreciate many of the comments that I have read and of course David for sharing about depression. I find it all very relatable and helpful.
I just recently discovered I am an infj, Thank you so much for expressing yourself not only with spoken words but the unspoken ones.. Sending all my love 😍 from South Africa 🌍.
I go to therapy so i understand more about myself, I do not suffer from depression. I have had HUGE rough patches through my life, I seem to always pull out of it, through prayer, chanting, meditation. It works, best of luck to all INFJ's out there.
Love you all
Kanaka Coconut Best to you!
Kanaka Coconut that’s Ni hero, it’s liquid luck and always sees the best path forward.
That was beautiful.. just so deep and so honestly raw. I related to many things.. It's a tall order for someone to fill an INFJ's hunger, and my own personal story is that I have only found it in the unconditional love of Jesus. Thank you for sharing, and I am so glad you are better now!
Arneth Productions Thank you so much!
@@DavidBadurina I don't know if you will like this or not, it's a Christian song, however, I like to refer to it as my INFJ song. It's called Be Kind to Yourself" by Andrew Peterson.
ruclips.net/video/TYriLGna4CI/видео.html
My relationship with Christ has been the single greatest thing that has kept me alive. I'm so thankful for the relationship I have with him. As pathetic as I feel in this world sometimes, I'm so grateful he has unfailing love.
@@John-ih7gp Amen
THANKYOU. Your written work was just. A deep striking sigh of relief. Thank you for this. I don't feel quite so alone or alien myself. I watched it twice, full thru. And probably will time and time again. (Will like own each time I've watched)
Hi Kalina. Thank you so much for the comment, I appreciate you!
I recognize this.
So much it hurts and cleanses with tears of being understood.
I am not the only alien here.
Thank You.
You aren't, Biljana, and I appreciate you!
'I am hidden, and feel alone', and during these moments, is when a narcissist comes along and lovebombs you to a hell you've never known before. This is the one quality that makes us really, really, vulnerable to toxic people. They offer us that which we need, and we can fall for it all the time.
You are not kidding around with this one. I've run into my fair share of them for sure.
@@DavidBadurina yep. Until you feel like you are constantly running away from something. From the world. Always in flight, like there's always a lion popping out from the shadows, ready to take a big chunk of meat from your person.
Thank you for sharing this, fellow INFJ here and I’d like to say that your writing is honestly beautiful. Such raw and truthful words that feel like deja vu to me. I love the bands playing in your mind analogy, that is exactly what it feels like to me as well. I never really knew I craved someone to physically place their hands on my face and tell me it was okay and what’s going on in my mind is understood. I’m bad at expressing my feelings because I don’t want to feel rejected or misunderstood by others so I prefer to figure out my problems on my own. Then I usually get stuck in the ni-ti loop and it all kind of spirals downwards from there. Next time I’m feeling overwhelmed by the bands in my mind I will allow someone to give me that kind of physical and emotional validation. I can’t thank you enough for being vulnerable and sharing your inner thoughts, you have helped me feel not so alone.
Thank you for this, Beck. I appreciate the compliments. Really glad that you're in a good place and hope the next time that awful Ni-Ti loop hits, it doesn't hit so hard, and doesn't keep you in the grips for too long. You're so very welcome, thank you for watching, and I appreciate you!
There was so much emotion in this it made my head explode with passion and love. As you were speaking I was thinking you need the biggest hug on Earth and then I realized when I got saved as a follower of Jesus that's why God bestowed upon me an overwhelming sense of love. I fell on my face in the middle of it one afternoon and ask the Lord to forgive me and help me take the pain away. Loneliness, invisible, not feeling Worthy, excetera excetera excetera. That very day my life has changed and I have trusted him ever since because I know I know that he loves me. But I guess I never really understood who I am. Until I was watching your videos and I see you in me. You are my mirror. Thank you! Now my journey makes more sense to me. Lord has used me for helping people. And now I understand why. Thank you! May my Father in Heaven bless you and keep you safe, and spread his love over you.
Yes, yes, and yes. I don't know that I've ever related to something so well as this! Thank you!
Thank you, Hope!
I am so absolutely gobsmacked. I could not have written what I have been through as well as you have. I am a 67 yr old INFJ male who only today found this link. I am unstable, erratic, and in need of being fitted for a tin-foil hat in the eyes of many. I doubted myself for decades, then 2 yrs. ago found I was INFJ. Also went red-pilled upon recognizing the narcissists in my life. Shackles & chains falling away like sand through fingers.
I'm so grateful it resonated, Murray! Thank you! And good for you on recognizing narcissists and taking the right steps for yourself! Proud of you!
There are no words...just crying....God bless you ♥️
Thank you so much. I appreciate you!
I am in tears listening to these words. You mirror almost word for word what I have felt, but had such a hard time admitting to and expressing. You have given me the encouragement to dare to be this vulnerable and real. The tip of the arrow of truth hitting bullseye. I bow to you and call you teacher, and I am 72. And all those who have commented here feels like the community I have always been looking for but didn't know existed. I feel very empowered.
I'm so glad to hear that. Regardless of age, we see you out there!
can't describe what your words made me feel, so I'll just say: thank you for this gift!
Thank you Elisa, I appreciate you!
David,
Well done. Enjoy the journey of being you. Storms end and new ones are coming, find a trustworthy anchor. You are part of "Beaconwell" a light to guide and a source of deep refreshment. Learning to appreciate yourself helps you do so for others and visa-versa. The first rule of a rescuer..."Don't put yourself in a position to be rescued.". Be blessed..
Mike, that's a fantastic rule! Thank you for sharing, I appreciate you!
That "first rule" can come with the misunderstanding of others, but we cannot pour out if we are empty, and we also must be vigilant concerning the emotional gravity wells of the narcissist .
You have a true gift to put into words what many are unable to explain. As an INFJ I have spent most of my life in and out of depression. I am in my 50’s so it has been a very long life of being misunderstood and feeling a complete disconnect with most people around me. Thank God I have a husband that understands and brings a sense of calm when life is spinning much too fast.
Hi Dana! Your husband is a great man if he can provide some of that calm! Thank you so much for commenting and the compliment!
Your message is bringing me to tears in realization of my own feelings being betrayed
That's tough my friend, but I am glad that I wrote something that resonated with you. Be strong, I appreciate you!
@@DavidBadurina thank you for showing me what is inside when I was busy looking at my wife and kids feelings assuming I know what they feel constantly
It’s as if you reached into my brain and pulled all of this out in a single mind sweep. Thank you so much for sharing this. Your writing has truly moved me beyond words.
Thank you so much, Kay. I appreciate you!
Oh and I am speechless Dear David... I can understand your pain and resonate with them completely. I am happy to have read such an honest confessions of self reflection and good to know that eventually you've overcome it, or kind of rather. But whatsoever it maybe I am sure you have the potential in you to get back and rise again like a Phoenix. Your fans are here always to support you with all the beautiful and creative content that you come up with. I support you virtually.... Wishing you loads of luck and the best in life!!👍👍💖💖
Vimi Maliakel Thank you, Vimi! I’m in a good place these days. Sure some days are a struggle but nothing ever as tough as that time. I appreciate you!
@@DavidBadurina Indeed David! Very happy to know that... You're a brave and strong man with a beautiful soul!! Warm wishes and love to your kids too... I am sure you are the best nurturer and Dad! Take care...
Thank you so much for sharing these words with us! I cried, when I listened to them. I find myself in them too and I think many INFJs do, so it doesn't sound as private to me as it actually is to you. I do a German channel about INFJs and my own path to self acceptance and I think a lot about how much private things I want to reveal about myself on RUclips. But you are right...how can we help people if we don't dare to show ourselves as we are?
And that really is a struggle. And I don't think I could've done it at the time, but I'm stronger now, and that's important! Thank you so much!
You articulated the struggle of being us, being alien. I found it profound and insiteful. Thank you, for being vulnerable and open, it was asif someone opened a door and light streamed in, we are not alone anymore. 🤗 Love your writing.
Thank you so much Lisa! I appreciate you!
Thank you for this.
I too am an INFJ, something I've only recently become aware of in my near mid forties and sadly far too late in life to be saved!
I've always known I was unusual but never knew INFJ, or any other Briggs Mayer personality type was a thing until stumbling onto a video a few months ago that lead me down the usual route of discovery, must know more, must learn everything path. Now my affliction is oh so clear.
Unfortunately in a life marred by tradegy, depression and poor choices I found myself very alone, my family all died, my friends all left and an extremely rocky road finally resulted in a mental breakdown from which I am still trying to recover but realise I probably never will. Recent events left me homeless, unemployed and very slightly disabled in one leg, a story in itself!!
I could perhaps muster the drive to fight on but in a world devoid of meaning the motivation is sorely lacking.
I will struggle on for as long as I can, hopefully find a low stress part time job just to regain my independence and then submit to a life of simplicity and solitude with all the pain of loneliness and none of the disappointment of being constantly misunderstood.
Your words inspired me to write and as I have no other outlet your comments section bore the brunt.
I thank you again for sharing and hope others find inspiration and knowledge in your words as I have.
It's not too late to be saved, not at all. Change can come at any time, at least that's my belief. You can shine, it's just small steps to get there. Keep that chin up, my friend. People out there understand you. Just look around these comments!
I appreciate you and wish you the absolute best! Write, create if you have the urge, embrace and be you, I think that's all any of us can do.
Wow! Profoundly deep - and profoundly true! You have captured every 'feeling' we INFJ's feel when depression overcomes us.
Thank you so much Michelle!
Thanks so much for this. Literally crying throughout the video. It’s good knowing there’s someone out there that can describe what is going inside your mind in the moments that you cannot escape the madness inside your head. Thanks for sharing it with us, I know it takes a lot of courage in today’s world to allow yourself to be vulnerable, but that’s who we are.
Thank you Oswald! I appreciate you. And yes, it's scary putting yourself out there but at the same time I know a lot of people have my back here, and I'm not alone, and that gives strength to us all, doesn't it? Best to you, my friend, I appreciate you!
Hit the nail on the head.
This is exactly what is going on in my head.
I have been burying it my whole life.
It is like I have to be two people to cope with the situation.
Extroverted but the need to go into quiet.
Introverted with the dread of being extroverted.
A walking controversy.
I'm glad it resonated and stay strong out there!
This hit me really hard, I felt every bit of that. I am too an INFJ.
Thank you. I appreciate you!
This is a fabulous idea. I want to congratulate you on sharing your battle with depression. I believe anyone who utilizes writing for therapeutic purposes is wise. You may do it simply for yourself or to convey thoughts/feelings to someone or others especially for those who may have any kind of difficultly maybe communicating in other forms. This can create a more comfortable & safe outlet when trying to express oneself & can make an easier time to placing a bit more order & clarity to some of the things going on inside especially with the mixture that makes up an INFJ. Not everyone understands the complexity & depth that which resides within these types or someone else, for that matter. There is strength in weakness, dear sir and I give you the utmost respect for sharing such a personal struggle. I hope your bravery in sharing this- especially as a man, which most males have been taught that they have to push down or hide these types of feelings like they’re somehow immune to such things which to me or fear of appearing less ‘manly’ or whatever. I don’t care what gender you are we’re all human beings when it comes down to it & some are just better equipped with handling things. I hope your courage in sharing such intimate thoughts touches and helps other people to have the same bravery to do the same or even just trying to write simply for themselves. Whether it’s battling depression, inner turmoil, positive things or just creative writing in general is a wonderful idea. As a great quote once was written: “Sometimes the only way out is in.” The moment you said you feel like an alien among some other things, I was like: “This guy is 1 in my tribe.” You are a beautiful being. To all the other aliens, you are not alone and you are not as misunderstood & weird as you may think. We’re all just different & that is part of what makes each & every 1 of you beautiful.
J Mundis Thank you so much for this comment. I appreciate the compliments! It’s especially wonderful to come across another human who “gets it.” I appreciate you!
@David Badurina ~ You’re very welcome. I appreciate your being & your videos. Keep it up!
Wow... 🤯
I have never really been able to grasp why I always have been struggling fit in, and why nobody seems to get me, and why I've always been looking to find meaning and happiness in my life. Looking at this video makes it all so clear to me. Every part of your text applies to me. It describes almost exactly my own thoughts and feelings.
I have always been considered to be a logical person and that is something that I have embraced, but when you read that part about not being able to apply logic to your own feelings, I recognize that so much!
Me: "Does this person really like me?"
Also me: "No. Why would she? You are worthless!"
Me: "But she smiled when she saw me and came over to give me a hug?"
Also me: "So? She probably does that all the time!"
Me: "But..?"
Also me: "Nope!"
Thank you for sharing your text. Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much Jonas! You know I appreciate you!
"Everybody see me, but nobody sees..." that is exactly how i feel. thank you for sharing, I had tears in my eyes listening to you. the similarities are uncanny. living in constant confusion and noise is exhausting. People just dont get us. they dont like us. cause they dont feel us. Thank you again!
I'm so, so glad this one resonated with you. Thank you!
Very powerful writing, David. Thank you for sharing. Don’t stop writing - keep going. All the best to you.
Thank you so much, I appreciate you!
Wow - over 500 comments. So far. Yes, I identify. You are a gift. I have been there. Yes. I amaze myself with my acting ability in public. You are not alone. Always remember, you are not alone. You are worthy. Beautifully said.
Thank you so much Debbie, I appreciate you!
I remember when I was getting out of middle school and going to high school, all I thought was how worthless I thought I was. The reason why was because I wasn’t meeting everyone’s expectations, I wanted everyone to be happy with my work, and I couldn’t get others to be happy with my work. I was also hanging out with a group of kids at the time who weren’t the best, but I thought I could improve to be better, but they didn’t wanted to be helped, so they fought me until I couldn’t take it much longer. I felt lost and worthless, didn’t know what to do with myself. It only took me a year of self introspection that I learned why I was that, and I started to improve myself. I literally got tired of being the way I was and sought out to improve, and did that first by starting to run. Then I began to research things that I liked, I began to challenge myself more, and tried and currently trying to be a better version of myself. Right now I’m kind of in a rut in that process, things have been so hard for me now, I think I ran too far away. Looking at myself now and myself back then I can’t even recognize myself anymore, looking how much different I was. But in that I also saw that there is something inside me that hasn’t changed, which I guess is my own soul. Right now I guess I’m trying to understand what my own soul is, but it’s so warped and confusing that my brain can’t even comprehend really what it is. Maybe deep down inside of myself I do understand it, but any words that comes out of my mouth to describe is just meaningless mumbo jumbo. Though one thing I know is that the soul that is inside me will always be with me, no matter how I change physically, or in a sense, mentally, it will always stay the same. People always ask what is up above the clouds and says what is the meaning of what is up there, but I say that really meaning and purpose derived from what is inside you. Your purpose, my purpose, is to conquer all of our inner turmoils so we can come in peace with ourselves so that we can rejoice in what is around us. Sometimes that task is quiet simple, but most of the time it’s quiet daunting. We hate ourselves, eachother, and everything so we can love ouselves, eachother, and everything, and that’s what life is I guess.
It’s kind of weird that I’m only 18, and I’m thinking about all this stuff, it’s really not normal for me to think about this. I guess I have to thank a certain television show for all this dumb but not dumb introspection (BoJack Horseman if you are wondering, recommend anybody to watch it, ESPECIALLY INFJ’s). I guess this is the gift I have to the world, which is to ponder and wonder until I loll over those who are curious enough to read my thoughts. Maybe my curiosity journey that made me go from a low self esteemed young teenager, to a older teenager that has the thoughts of what a older teenager shouldn’t have. Idk, honestly, but whoever really does know really, we live in a world full of I don’t know’s and I guess’s that we can’t sleep at night. Maybe that’s how the world proceeds to rotate all these years, is because we are too curious to actually drop dead of exhaustion.
Sorry for the rambling, just a thought.
Don't apologize for thinking out loud, you're among friends here!
It's so hard for younger INFJs, I remember those days myself SO well and what you're articulating here is just the exact feeling. Searching, trying to find the identity that matches what you're feeling but sensing that it's always just a step off or out of reach. It just takes time. Keep growing, keep doing the things that feed your soul, let go of who you think you should be and just be. All of it is the right mindset to adopt to just be a healthy INFJ. And even healthy, we're still going to be messed up here or there, and that's totally cool, it's part of the process.
I haven't seen BoJack but I've had it recommended, I do need to give it a whirl!
You are so much like me. Feeling like you're a seeker, journeying, just searching but maybe not quite sure what it is you're searching for. You'll find your place, or you'll find a place close, with good people. It's a long road, but a grand adventure indeed.
Stay strong, be you, and forgive yourself for not being able to figure it out like it's an arithmetic problem. You are complex, and it's amazing!
David Badurina Thank You so much for this, best advice that I have been given so far!
I am crying, "all I can do is feel." Thankyou for this. My heart hurts.
Thank you so much for having the courage to share your writing. I am crying right now because I resonated so much with this and desperately needed to hear that someone else understands. Even though I am mortified that someone else goes through everything I go through on a daily basis, I also feel peace and hope, as this was a reminder that there are others out there who can feel and think this deeply and then come back out of the depths to share their gifts with the other "aliens" in the world. Thank you. You don't know how much I needed this today. ♥️♥️♥️
Hi Jennie, there are definitely others that feel so strongly. Just have a look at the comments on this video! We're together, at least for today! Thank you so much, and I wish you the absolute best in life! I appreciate you!
@@DavidBadurina I appreciate YOU and wish you the best also! Thank you for your kind response, and again thank you for putting yourself out there so others can connect in this way!
Have you ever considered hosting a live INFJ discussion group? I know there are some groups out there, but they don't seem very deep or genuine from what I have gathered... I would love to participate and/or contribute if anyone else would be interested!
8:49 My brain LOL.
I just had to make my boyfriend listen to your letter because it just explains everything so perfectly! Since learning about INFJ It's been serving me as a tool to more deeply explain certain things to him and also understand myself better in the process. I feel like you read my heart out. I'm speechless. Thank you for existing.
Thank you for existing in the same time as me. I appreciate you so much, and your efforts to be better understood, that's everything. Tell the BF I said hi, and tell him that you are a precious bit of magic in this world, because I am certain you are. Best to you both!
Thank you. I could see such courage welling up in your intro. This is beautifully expressed and so on the nose of how I feel. Glad to know I'm not the only one feeling these feelings and searching for the same things. Thank you, just thank you. ❤
Lorena Bowers Thank you so much. I understand, and I appreciate you! ❤️
Incredible poem! Yes it's so important to have someone in our lives that understands us. My hubby is that someone for me. For the past 28 years he has helped me focus not on the grey cloud above my head but the sunshine above his.
Love that!
Thank you for this...it helped me articulate how I have been feeling and how important connection is. Your focus and bravery is appreciated.
Laura Ronk Thank you, Laura!
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for watching!
So good, David 👏🏻 You are a precious gift to all of us who’ve gone through something like this. Thank you so much for sharing. It’s beautiful even though it’s was you’re hard time that made it that way.
Watching, I felt like the characters in your book came vividly to life here. Thank you again.
It's all part of the story, right? Thank you so much, you know I appreciate you!
This made me cry. Thank you for sharing. I am an INFJ too and knowing that something like this exist makes me happy... These thoughts, ideas, feelings that I have is too overwhelming for me that I cannot transform them into words and have these words arranged to form a shareable information. This writing put it all together... So big thanks
Thank you so much. I'm so happy it resonated for you! I appreciate you!
Very vulnerable and relatable. This came across my path right when I was in need. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Nicole Rick Thank you Nicole. I am so SO glad it resonated. I appreciate you!
Hi David, thank you for what you have posted. I recently discovered I’m an INFJ and until then I lived in misery wallowing in my own depression and cursing my misunderstood life. What you wrote is eye opening. It gives me such comfort to know that I’m not alone in this struggle where the battles I fight in my mind are endless. Thank you for making me realize there are others out there like me. I feel a little less burdened than I usually do. A little lighter. A little less alone. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this beautiful comment, Nadia. You are not alone, just look at some of the comments! There are so many of us feeling this way! Know that I appreciate you!
David Badurina thank you 😊 means a lot!
David Badurina thank you 😊 means a lot!
Beautifully done. I am in the midst but also in a different life period. No core responsibility but to myself and as I believe you know, the self is not most important, it is the whole, what we can do or give understanding in seeing the angst and discord among all. I in my head, feeling overwhelmed by the external stresses that know no boundaries. I am lost, trying to break out of my stagnation, get back into the game with all I the understanding I have garnered and find a way to employ it to help us all.
But I am stuck. Waiting for ... But I know I am just losing time as I could be getting much done during this waiting. But I am stuck.
Again, your story is valuable and writing beautiful. Thank you - infj
Jalex M Thank you and best to you. Take the time you need to take care of self. I wish you the very best my friend.
This is amazing!!! I am an Infj and a therapist. I work with some many people who are depressed. People get exhausted and they help and support and love.
Thank you Monica, I'm glad you liked it and happy it resonated. So glad to hear someone's out there helping people!
I came into my bedroom to seek a sanctuary from the overwhelm and deep despair I was feeling . I opened RUclips ( mostly to distract myself from myself ) and your video began to play. With every word I shed another tear . I’m not alone , I’m not the only Alien struggling to prosper in a world I’m completely at odds with , yet constantly celebrated for the fraud I feel I am . Today I can feel all that I feel and sense all that I sense and it’s OK . From one INFJ to another , thank you . You made an impact in my life and when I’m inevitably feeling alone again , I’ll watch this video and be reminded that there’s someone else out there who gets it .
Thank you so much Brittnie. This comment means everything to me. You are NOT alone, and I appreciate you!
I am left speechless by your words. Thank you for your openness and for being vulnerable. I am going to go write in my own darkness.
I never knew another human being felt the way I do. Thank you so much for putting your heart into words. I don't write for fear I will be misunderstood by my family when the words are found. Fear that I will lose them because of words that are so strong and intense. Some how I feel better hearing how you went through depression. All I crave is deep connection and understanding. As an INFJ I feel like an alien. I can see people but they can't see me. It's tough. Thanks again😊
Thank you so much Cathy, I appreciate you. Don't be afraid. Write!
I had that person. That one connection where I didn’t have to be anyone else but me. Where my vulnerability and my deepest thoughts weren’t something I had to hide. He always said “you can do it”. There was no “can’t” in his book. Never have I had a bigger support in my life or someone who believed in my dreams like him. He made me dare to be more and do more and he got me out of my shell so to speak. And while I do believe we can learn to be these things for ourselves too, it’s been really hard getting on without him. I landed on this video because your video about your brother popped up as a suggestion. I’d like to extend my condolences to you. I wasn’t going to make another comment but, how could I not in this case.
Tibelou26 Thank you so much!
This precious gift that you lost is still within you i guess. Looks like he helped you in your personnal journey, opened your eyes on the beauty and strength of who you are. Wish you safe travel in this world today and the coming decades.
Isabelle, That’s a nice way to think of it I guess. Thank you 🙏🏻 yes I carry him with me in my heart everyday. He was my soulmate and he passed away in February this year. I miss him very much.
So sorry to hear that. Take care of yourself.
Beautiful writing. It’s so amazing to hear your words from your mind and heart. Your intuition is beautifully written and from the depth of you.
I wrote this in the middle of a panic attack in my head: I have come to this planet which has I have called home. Not knowing what I face or what my desire or its pleasures. This world is full of knowledge and even less understanding it's compendiums. Knowledge is easy, it's structured, orderly, and without the use of ones power to create what's truly their life's course. Humanity suffers its darkest hours when one lets time pass by its empty shell. Neither knowing the truth of being knowing but oblivious to is endurance. Men have tried to pen its wonders and its madness, even myself I have show its remarkable ability to survive in a world that far different from my own. I am not unique I am just the new soul that lives in a shell surround by my own air in which I inhale and exhale. Sleeping in the same bed, night after night and rising to be in the earthen body that is mortal and frail. My mind has other plans, my heart leads me to not know where i cannot find the answers. My friends are but pawns in my games, checkmate is my goal nor is it my aim to win, but to survive till I lose.
I search for a dissent memory for what was and what is to come. Relying too much on either takes away from moments your could experience. I am not alone, nor am I an alien I am myself. I have found comfort in control and freedom is my burden, but somehow I don't fit those either. I am becoming the greats success and failure of my mind. Where I sit nor lay is not of consequence but it is the thought of where and how will it all end. I am stuck but running to my future only to know that the future has already won. A history isn't what makes it true its what helps us understand what can or has happened but the present is where the mystery begins. Where does it stop or end? No one knows that, it was not granted to us.
Death has nor question nor its purpose unknown till one faces it. I shall not face it for many years but for some it is tomorrow, today, or even yesterday. What is running back? What is finding the meaning of who am I? I know who I am now, it's only a matter of who am I yesterday. Stand still around the world and no one notices till you move an inch to the right, or left, or forward, or backwards. Society has made us who we think we are on the inside but the shell of a mortal only things in absolutes. I think it is grander to thing of multiple personas. I have spent ages on the inside thinking outward in, but the truth is we all look inward to look out. I do not know what my mind possesses or why it thinks in ways that I can not know. Death has no freedom or enslavement it is nothing worthy of our attention. Finding a home, establish its routine, running from what could be is not the place I wish to go.
Forgiven society is.
Thank you so much for this amazing comment and sharing your writing! I'm so happy to see people sharing some of their own thoughts on this comment thread. I appreciate you!
This is the Story of My Life.
It seems like poetry to my ears.
Very strong telling through my teens and my twenties. My thirties kind of were a blip dealing with different levels of addiction.
My forties blessed me with my one and only child. My son. He is very much like me. I am now 47 years old approaching 48 soon and the last year or two have been very eye-opening of the flexion on my life and realizing it's okay to be me.
Music flipping through 80s on 8, 90s on 9, and classic rewind on SiriusXM helps me get through my days while I'm driving in the car. Simply sliding my sunglasses down over my eyes even in a doll day with very little sunlight and rocking out in my own space of the car is a peaceful Delight of searching out sensation.
As per the above it helps me through so many Rocky situations of life.
I am voice texting and cannot control the punctuation. This is your footnote.
Appreciate the voice text comment, Michelle! I'm glad you can lean on that music to get you through, it's critical for me too! Thank you!
Hello David! I love watching your vídeos, you are a very beautiful, talented person!
Maria Raquel Marques Cordeiro Thank you for that! I appreciate you!
As an INFJ, too, I can relate to all your struggles, your love for writing, for knowledge... seeking for information is like our secret happy and magical world where we can freely let ourselves go. Greetings from Portugal!
Hello Portugal! Porto is my favorite wine! :-)
Hello fellow alien. Spent years thinking I was the only one. Nice to meet you. Nice to know someone else understands. Nice to be reminded that we are special and worth it. Thank You!
Always happy to meet a fellow alien! Never forget, you are a gift!
I love your videos, it's so amazing that u share so much about urself. I know it can be hard without making it sound selfcentered... :)
Luka Vičič Thank you Luka. I appreciate you. Ultimately it’s my channel so it’s going to be about me to a degree, but I get such fulfillment from helping others through experience. Thank you!
Thank you for writing, to yourself. Struggle with depression is not easy, I have been writing since my childhood and it brings ease to me.
Glad it resonated! Thank you for watching!
It’s so funny how we literally have the same thought process. Beautiful writing, congratulations on that, and thank you for sharing it with us. Watching your videos helps me imagine myself as a healthier INFJ and work towards it with the correct approach. I hope that this channel also helps you get in touch with your extroverted feeling!
It does. I feel like I'm helping some people just by showing who I am, and while that's scary in today's social media world, I'm finding some strength and fulfillment when people simply say "thank you." So ... thank you! :-)
David Badurina yeah it must be so scary. But I believe that the grand majority of your subscribers appreciate you for you. And I want to let you know that to me you’re a very healthy and aware INFJ, and an example to us all. So while it’s definitely necessary to strive for personal growth, realize that you’re awesome and are doing really cool things!
@@ginargentum Thank you so much! I do appreciate that and I feel like at this point I'm a (fairly) healthy INFJ. I still have my moments of INFJing, but that's always going to be a thing. The big difference now is that I know what I need to take care of myself.
This piece of writing is darkly beautiful, and resonates with me as a fellow infj. Thank you for being brave enough to share it! The only person who will give me all of these things without fail is Jesus. Whether he comes to me to wipe the tears from my heart in a moment of silence, or through the smile of a friend who really "gets me," He is there saying "I love you, I value you, you can trust Me." And recently I've realized that's what I need: trust.
Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it!
I think every INFJ can identify with what you went through and everything you going to have happen to you. Because we can manifest our future which can be a total disaster.
God Spark It’s definitely a rough ride at times but the right people around you does help. Thank you for the comment!
@@DavidBadurina .....my thing is finding anybody around me. I don't get people anymore. I'm totally a fly on the wall. Until your show I had nothing in common with anything.
This is such an amazing video. I'm an INFJ and I've watched tons and tons of INFJ videos and this is the only one that's made me cry. I resonated with every single thing you said. Thank you for having the courage to be vulnerable on RUclips
Thank you so much for watching. That means a lot to me!
Wow!!!! That was so incredible and I can so relate!!!! Only thing I question, that person that your looking for is God! I have been single a long time, as an infj I lead that same lonely 😔 life. I’m nearing out of my depression hopefully. I at least feel a little better, as I to did write!!!!! I wrote a poem. It helped me a lot!!!! Your words are inspiring and I feel you!!! I may not be the alien your looking for, but please let it be known you are not alone my friend!!!!!
Thank you Paula. This was two years ago (when it was written). I'm at peace and in a good place these days, but it was a rough time. Having the right support in my world was everything. Thank you so much for the comment!
This is absolutely beautiful and I can totally relate as an INFJ that has gone through depression. I am now a successful healthy INFJ
Thank you so much Deyana! I'm so happy to hear you've pulled out of yours! I appreciate you!
You should try Christ as a relationship with Him best describes what you so greatly desire! As an older INFJ, I understand YOU, and ca relate. Keep sharing your writing. As a writer myself, I appreciate your thoughts, and ideas.
Hi Kimmie. You ... don't know my relationships. I'm at peace and in a good place! Thank you for commenting!
That took courage. Thank you. I heard you describing me quite a few times. Writing helped me too. But Finding fellow INFJs has helped the most. Thank you for putting yourself out there. It’s appreciated more than you’ll ever know.
Thank you Naomi, for such a kind sentiment. I appreciate you right back!
Volume on intro is to high.
Working on it!
And by the way, the new intro is cool. Had to be released the same day 😉
I was working on it for days! It was time. New office, new filming location, trying to just refresh the whole thing and make the channel nice! :-)
Depression can be paralyzing. God bless you David. I deal with this myself all the time. Nuff said for now.
Yes it can, hope you find your way to shine again!
bro fighting depression as an INFJ is easy just uncover the secrets of the universe like I did.
Aw dang, I didn't even think about that. ;-)
Hear hear!
So true now share those secrets so I can rest.
Just perfect. It's only been the last decade or so that I've learned about being an INFJ and a HSP. I can't begin to explain the relief in just knowing there were terms for what I felt, that there were other people that felt the same! Thank you for sharing! If it wasn't for the yous in the world, the mes of the world would still be hopelessly spiraling.
Thank you Sue, that means a lot! I'm glad it resonated. No more spiraling! We have to stick together!
Question: Any INFJs have what David is searching for?
I've found great friends and great support since those days. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing. I know how difficult that was to do.
This hit home for me. Im there. That's me. Right now. I have lumped it all in one word... LOST. 44 yrs old and i feel lost. Not that I want to belong or fit in, but who I am/was is lost and its an awful feeling. So much has happened in 4 yrs. Lost and I need silence so i can find myself but I can't sit still long enough bc its overwhelming so I just do. Go. Anything to keep me busy. Robotic if you will. Numb. And no-one notices.
Hi Tabetha - thank you. Lost is about right. Take that time to take internal inventory - allow yourself to hurt, and forgive yourself. I hope you find your way back to shining soon, I believe in you, you can do it. Wishing you the best and I appreciate you!
For me Jesus Christ fulfills all that you wrote about. It’s different when know He’s always there and totally gets you and helps you be better.
If that works for you, that's wonderful!
Yup,Christ is my buddy too.
Hi Dave! God put you in this world for a reason.
I’m 51 years old. Have my own construction business for 28 years now. 3 black belts. Two beautiful girls that are my life, beautiful house but going through a divorce. For 20 years I felt like she never understood me. When we used to get in fights I said to her I must be from another planet. Sad than after giving and giving for so many years I have to come to the point of telling myself that I have to take care of myself now.
I did the personality test a few weeks ago and all I’ve been doing it’s looking at different people on RUclips. Then I found you. You have a gift of understanding INFJ.
This video it’s super powers for people like us.
“SORRY” for my English. I’m originally from Venezuela.
Thank you. Don’t ever stop my friend
Thank you so much Dennis! I'm so glad you liked it. So great to have you on here!
I"m actually crying a little right now. The stress ninja!!! The guilt omg, and the anger, I get lost JUST like that.
I'm really grateful that it resonated! I hope it helps!
Maybe I'm too late to comment on this, I just want to thank you for sharing this heartwarming message with us. As a fellow INFJ I just know what it means to share this kind of writing with someone. I'm going through a depressing phase and this made me feel better.Thanks a bunch.
I can't explain how much this resonated with me. I feel like I struggle so much to communicate what goes on inside my head and here it is. Thank you.
Thank you Alison. I'm very proud of this piece of writing, and I really feel like it has helped people. It's so nice to hear from anyone on this one, especially if it really resonates.
An echo from the abyss... I hear you. I hear my reflection in your words. You are certainly not alone.
Thank you Annie, that means a lot to me!
As another INFJ currently struggling with depression I felt this. I felt the pain and struggle and how heavy it feels to live having to put up a face because the show must go on. It was a bittersweet feeling reading it all because this is how I feel now and there is some level of comfort that I’m not the only one feeling like this. You felt this way and I do write to get those overwhelming contradictions out that no one understands
I get you, Jessica. I really do. You aren't alone. And I'm certain you will shine bright again and very soon.
Much
Dearest David this is magnificent. I have felt like this all my life! It is so moving to know as you say 'I want someone like me'. Having heard you put it so clearly into words, makes me at last understand that there are others out there who think the same! Thank you so much!,🤗
Thank you so much Kathy! We're not alone!
This speaks to me. This brought out tears of understanding on a deep level. I love the way you explained the INFJ thought process and how things can become jumbled. I see it as several full puzzles mixed together in a box, yet there are still missing peices we are searching for. A pattern, something to make sense of it all.
Thank you so much for this comment! I'm glad it resonated and I think the same way, always looking for pieces and making the best picture we can!