I connected to your story, for better and worse. As an Autistic man, I strongly relate to the burnout you experience which is an ongoing irritation of overwhelming difficulties. But I also related to your concept of heightened emotions and sensations, experiencing the world in a deeper way that most others cannot. It's a double edge sword. I feel so empowered by my practically spiritual reaction to music and sounds, but ultimately feel alone in a world full of people that don't feel as strongly as I do. The one thing I didn't relate to was the concept of masking. I was also diagnosed relatively late (at 16), but even with the ignorance of what I truly was at a young age, I had no interest in appeasing those that didn't naturally like me. I believe this is likely a gendered difference. Women have society norms to fulfil even at an early age, and will typically learn from each other socially what is "appropriate". Men have this problem too, but not nearly as all consuming. I didn't feel the same social pressure to mask as you would have had.
In my experience masking appears far more often for people who are higher on the spectrum. It can be hard to envision just how much difference there is on the autistic spectrum but it ranges as far as just being almost unnoticeable all the way to debilitating to the point of never being able to live without constant outside attention. Im a guy and im right on the edge where i can still somewhat function on my own but that is also due to my relative high function (or high iq but that doesnt really say everything in this context) Masking to me is something i have to do in order to go outside pretty much and to hold any sort of normal conversation. I prefer being treated like a a certain way and so i try present myself a certain way. Thats really what it comes down to, hope it helps.
@higamerXD Like I said, I was diagnosed late because it was unnoticeable for me too. I just naturally have a personality that doesn't care what people think. I also think those that do care are cowardly and sheep in a society of non perfect idols. My advice is for you to understand what masking is, a lie. You are admitting to being a liar and I judge you for that.
@Ddiaboloer well, clearly you are just very ignorant of the realities of other people around you. Thats your problem and not mine. Its a very comon way to think for maladaptive autistic's tho. Im sure it will give you plenty of problems in general social life. I quite like being able to hang out with polite society. You would never be able to with that attitude. Its up to you what you want from life and i prefer being able to be around anyone instead of expecting others to put up with my behaviours and thoughts. If i wana talk with a meth addict, i can. If i wana talm with a politician, i can also. But what i cant is talk to them the same way. And so i adjust in order to make myself easier to be around so i dont force other to adjust to me. Hopefully you consider some 3rd party advice or a form of guidance to better fit into society and so that you wont have any issues with people. If you dont care about being able to be around people, thats ok. But i quite like being able to hang out with strangers from old fishermen in the harbor to drug adicts in the big city. People are diffrent, and either you adjust to them or you expect others to adjust to you.
That "push yourself" mindset kills us as autistic folks. I was late-diagnosed last year (mid-40s) and that's one of the biggest things I'm unlearning. I hit severe burnout prior to that, which eventually was one of the experiences that clued me into possibly being autistic. I hope you're finding a gentler life now.
I can especially relate to when you talk about that habit of always pushing myself 100% and always doing my absolute best. So then, when people ask me to try harder I literally cannot. And they never believe me that I’m already doing my best because who does that.
i remember being ur age and felt that same horrific burnout for different mental health reasons. i'm in my mid 20s now, unfortunately you do need a few years to start unwinding but it does get easier the more practice you get. i'd say keep a steadfast, optimistic (but not blindly so) attitude and try to get a feel for when your body needs rest. i'll never function at a NT level but i don't need to. rationing my available energy slow and steady gets plenty done. & so can you. good luck xxoo
I'm also a 19 yr old with autism, I've only just started to accept that about myself (although my parents don't "believe in autism" (whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean.) Hearing your story resonated with me so soo much. I feel less alone hearing about it. I've always been the one to constantly push myself and burn myself out over and over telling myself I can take a rest when all the work is done...but it's never done. I feel burnt out all the time and I just think if people would give me the accommodations I need, I'd be so much better off. Anyways in a weird way I feel..heard if that makes sense. Thank you so much for making this video, take care of yourself, here's hoping everything turns out okay
I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles, and your parents "not believing in autistim" that's crazy! But I'm so happy that I was able to make you feel heard. Thank you for watching! Edit: also I know this is easier said than done, but stand up for yourself, and accommodate yourself because if you don't nobody else will!
I was in a similar place at ur age. A few years in, it's a lot easier. Know that rest -is- productive. Its a whole as job to make sure you get enough restorative rest, to allow you to recover. But it's doable and it's worth it
Yeah it's complicated to live like this mainly because you are misunderstood all the time and it's on you to fit in, I already stopped trying to explain or to tell people because the general population either has no idea of what it is or they have watched one of the various cliché movies/heard extreme stories and their ideas are also exaggerated. I was told different things by different people when I told them about it, either that it is an illness or that I am not telling the truth/it is an excuse. I even told this to someone special to me to open myself up because I cared what they thought of me and give an explanation on why my behavior might be strange some times and I think that just made it worse (I got ghosted). So yeah, at the end it's just each one of us looking for the best places where our way of being can fit. At least I know there's nothing inherently wrong with me, I'm just a bit different.
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience getting ghosted, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and there are understanding people out there who are willing to listen and learn. Sometimes it's just hard to find them
What are your special interests? It’s great to see more autistic creators on RUclips; like you said, it’s a spectrum and all our experiences are different, yet we all do experience one major similarity: discrimination. I hope we can all find the proper accommodations to help us get through life ❤️🩹 Also what does lace up mean? I’ve never heard that slang term before 😅
Thank you so much for asking, I'm going to make a video about them! It's funny that you asked what "lace up" means in the same comment, because it's related to one of my special interests, MGK It's somthing that he started lol
I connected to your story, for better and worse. As an Autistic man, I strongly relate to the burnout you experience which is an ongoing irritation of overwhelming difficulties. But I also related to your concept of heightened emotions and sensations, experiencing the world in a deeper way that most others cannot. It's a double edge sword. I feel so empowered by my practically spiritual reaction to music and sounds, but ultimately feel alone in a world full of people that don't feel as strongly as I do.
The one thing I didn't relate to was the concept of masking. I was also diagnosed relatively late (at 16), but even with the ignorance of what I truly was at a young age, I had no interest in appeasing those that didn't naturally like me. I believe this is likely a gendered difference. Women have society norms to fulfil even at an early age, and will typically learn from each other socially what is "appropriate". Men have this problem too, but not nearly as all consuming. I didn't feel the same social pressure to mask as you would have had.
In my experience masking appears far more often for people who are higher on the spectrum. It can be hard to envision just how much difference there is on the autistic spectrum but it ranges as far as just being almost unnoticeable all the way to debilitating to the point of never being able to live without constant outside attention.
Im a guy and im right on the edge where i can still somewhat function on my own but that is also due to my relative high function (or high iq but that doesnt really say everything in this context)
Masking to me is something i have to do in order to go outside pretty much and to hold any sort of normal conversation.
I prefer being treated like a a certain way and so i try present myself a certain way.
Thats really what it comes down to, hope it helps.
@higamerXD Like I said, I was diagnosed late because it was unnoticeable for me too. I just naturally have a personality that doesn't care what people think. I also think those that do care are cowardly and sheep in a society of non perfect idols. My advice is for you to understand what masking is, a lie. You are admitting to being a liar and I judge you for that.
@Ddiaboloer well, clearly you are just very ignorant of the realities of other people around you. Thats your problem and not mine. Its a very comon way to think for maladaptive autistic's tho. Im sure it will give you plenty of problems in general social life.
I quite like being able to hang out with polite society. You would never be able to with that attitude. Its up to you what you want from life and i prefer being able to be around anyone instead of expecting others to put up with my behaviours and thoughts.
If i wana talk with a meth addict, i can. If i wana talm with a politician, i can also. But what i cant is talk to them the same way. And so i adjust in order to make myself easier to be around so i dont force other to adjust to me.
Hopefully you consider some 3rd party advice or a form of guidance to better fit into society and so that you wont have any issues with people. If you dont care about being able to be around people, thats ok. But i quite like being able to hang out with strangers from old fishermen in the harbor to drug adicts in the big city. People are diffrent, and either you adjust to them or you expect others to adjust to you.
That "push yourself" mindset kills us as autistic folks. I was late-diagnosed last year (mid-40s) and that's one of the biggest things I'm unlearning. I hit severe burnout prior to that, which eventually was one of the experiences that clued me into possibly being autistic. I hope you're finding a gentler life now.
I can especially relate to when you talk about that habit of always pushing myself 100% and always doing my absolute best. So then, when people ask me to try harder I literally cannot. And they never believe me that I’m already doing my best because who does that.
i remember being ur age and felt that same horrific burnout for different mental health reasons. i'm in my mid 20s now, unfortunately you do need a few years to start unwinding but it does get easier the more practice you get. i'd say keep a steadfast, optimistic (but not blindly so) attitude and try to get a feel for when your body needs rest. i'll never function at a NT level but i don't need to. rationing my available energy slow and steady gets plenty done. & so can you. good luck xxoo
I'm also a 19 yr old with autism, I've only just started to accept that about myself (although my parents don't "believe in autism" (whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean.) Hearing your story resonated with me so soo much. I feel less alone hearing about it. I've always been the one to constantly push myself and burn myself out over and over telling myself I can take a rest when all the work is done...but it's never done. I feel burnt out all the time and I just think if people would give me the accommodations I need, I'd be so much better off. Anyways in a weird way I feel..heard if that makes sense. Thank you so much for making this video, take care of yourself, here's hoping everything turns out okay
I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles, and your parents "not believing in autistim" that's crazy! But I'm so happy that I was able to make you feel heard. Thank you for watching!
Edit: also I know this is easier said than done, but stand up for yourself, and accommodate yourself because if you don't nobody else will!
@@Payton_Ward I'll take your advice and stand up for myself more! Thanks, I really appreciate your reply. :3
I was in a similar place at ur age. A few years in, it's a lot easier. Know that rest -is- productive. Its a whole as job to make sure you get enough restorative rest, to allow you to recover. But it's doable and it's worth it
Thank you! I needed to hear this
Thanks for your story, it sounds like many of my experiences so it resonates with me.
you are not alone. You are not the problem.
You seem like a chill person
Yeah it's complicated to live like this mainly because you are misunderstood all the time and it's on you to fit in, I already stopped trying to explain or to tell people because the general population either has no idea of what it is or they have watched one of the various cliché movies/heard extreme stories and their ideas are also exaggerated.
I was told different things by different people when I told them about it, either that it is an illness or that I am not telling the truth/it is an excuse. I even told this to someone special to me to open myself up because I cared what they thought of me and give an explanation on why my behavior might be strange some times and I think that just made it worse (I got ghosted).
So yeah, at the end it's just each one of us looking for the best places where our way of being can fit. At least I know there's nothing inherently wrong with me, I'm just a bit different.
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience getting ghosted, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and there are understanding people out there who are willing to listen and learn. Sometimes it's just hard to find them
Thanks for sharing :)
I wonder if having comorbidities contribute to the development of masking abilities? The infantilization is so frustrating!!!!
What are your special interests?
It’s great to see more autistic creators on RUclips; like you said, it’s a spectrum and all our experiences are different, yet we all do experience one major similarity: discrimination. I hope we can all find the proper accommodations to help us get through life ❤️🩹
Also what does lace up mean? I’ve never heard that slang term before 😅
Thank you so much for asking, I'm going to make a video about them!
It's funny that you asked what "lace up" means in the same comment, because it's related to one of my special interests, MGK It's somthing that he started lol