Go to buyraycon.com/hitop for 15% off your order! Brought to you by Raycon. Thank you for supporting HiTop Films. Thank you for being there for me. Hopefully, I can be there for you.
I just want to take a moment and say… Alex, you’ve been a huge inspiration to me! I don’t make movies or write scripts (not yet, at least), but watching you makes me believe that I can be better. That there is a way out of loneliness, anger and suffering. I am kind of shy to even write this, but seeing you open yourself up a bit, makes me less afraid. Watching you over the years, seeing your empathy towards filmmakers, listening to how you talk about art and how meaningful the art is to oneself… it resonates with me and inspires me. Hell, even this comment’s writing style is in a way inspired by your speech. Thank you so much for being here, for sharing this, and for making us… feel! I wish you (and everyone reading this) all the best! ❤️
I've been watching for about four years now, and I think seeing you grow through these videos has been a massive part of my own growth over the last four years. Not just as a prospective storyteller, not just as a RUclipsr, but as a person. You and Loverboy have done so much to affect the way I engage with art and stories and through that, how I engage with myself and others, and I can't thank either of you enough for that. So excited for Jason and whatever comes after ❤
Hey Alex, I hope you are doing well. I understand how you feel and I cried while watching this video. I understand how you feel and it's important to me that you know your work has made me feel so much, so please, don't you ever stop.
In tears rn. I just want to thank you for helping me discover my love for filmmaking and if you ever see this comment, just know we, all of the people you’ve helped feel a little less alone, are rooting for you❤
(Cringe warning) Dear Mr. Films, Thank you for this video. This may sound ridiculously hyperbolic and/or parasocial, but I genuinely cannot articulate how valuable seeing this kind of earnest vulnerability from the man who first awakened my love of analysis, art and storytelling is to me. Your work is a testament to the power of the connections we form with the art we love, and how truly beautiful that art can be. Being eighteen and angry myself, the poetic lyricism of your art and willingness to introspect through it is a breath of fresh air amongst a sea of apathy, and I believe that sentiment is shared by many others too. In the face of modern fears and tragedies, it has become all the more essential to pursue the light, for all humanity. So, I suppose what I'm truly attempting to convey within this emotionally smothering comment is that your art is valuable, and that I look forward to seeing the rest of your story unfold. The art we create gives us purpose, and ultimately fulfillment, and that joy of creation is something we're both pursuing. Take care of yourself, and keep creating 💙💖 - A wild trains gorl
Its good to see you this open with yourself. Im happy to be a fan and see your growth as a yt and a film maker👍🏼. Its ruff out there and I can relate to what you went through, being that creative guy with s spark still seaching for what they want to say. But it gets better trust me🖊🙏🏽
This felt like a punch in the gut and now I feel empty cuz my stomach is but my vision is more clear and I feel seen. I feel you brother and know that you’ll always got a friend in me, in all of us. Much Love to you and Loverboy for this incredible editing 💜💜
Every time Alex closes a video, I feel so empowered and so full of hope and love. But also sorrow because it feels like his last words before he dies. And i feel too attached to him for that
Alex, thank you for sharing your story. It is hugely inspirational for me. Actually, you’ve been a constant inspiration for me for years now, and I am truly grateful for that. I’m truly grateful for you. Keep making amazing work. Honestly can’t wait for Jason!!
Alex man…. That hit harder than I expected it too. Everything you said about your dad being your best friend, and introducing you to movies and comics… I related a little too much to that. As an aspiring filmmaker, this video means more than you’ll ever know. Continue to do what you do Alex, because your work inspires me ❤️
Man you killed it with this video. The relatabilty and honesty is really felt so forgetting about clicks and views, talk about what you want to talk about. I myself am here to listen to what you have to say more than the things you talk about. Keep killing it man
Ikr bruh. This vid hits so hard. I’m ur age too, another wannabe filmmaker who knows these next few years will set up my life trajectory… whatever that means. Hopefully I’ll see you at the Oscars :)
holyshit, man. you got me crying. some moment later i’ll write about your video/words with the love they deserve. thank you for keep doing this the way you do. it’s such a honor and pleasure to follow your work! i’m a kind of an artist myself :) love from brazil!
I just want to say this: All those years ago until now your videos have been such a phenomenal source of inspiration for me. I myself have a passion for filmmaking and you opening up in this video encourages me to open up and tell my story. We all have one to tell and I hope for everyone they know that their voice matters too. Thank you for everything
Every video you make hits harder than the last one. Since I finished high school, since I started to going though strong moments in my life all I wanted to do is create something like the films I use to see, something meaningful and relatable for the people that is going through the same problems that we all are. But until this day, it's very hard to me to even grab a camera, I know what I would like to do, but I don't have the courage for start doing something, too shy to even look at the people's eyes. For that reason I've never found a group of people that share the same passion as I do, so until I stop being alone in this, I think I will rest that dream for a while. Hopefuly, one day, I will be able to have the courage to reach that dream. Thank you for sharing your experience for those who feel incapable of doing things. Just like you said, "the irony of lonelines is that we all share it".
This is vulnerable. This is encouraging. This is beautiful. Thank you. Not only for this, but everything you do. The urge to tell stories lies within all of us and if we all would just gather the courage to tell ours there would be much less loneliness. Facing every possible insecurity you have and overcoming them by posting this video is admirable. You have ALMOST made me cry. You have inspired me. But most importantly.. you have made me feel seen.
This means so much to me thank thank you so fucking much ive been alone and hurting for a while but this video really haves help me to keep going i really out of words
Alex I've followed you for years now You have been and continue to be one of the most influential creatives to me thank you so much for your continued effort to make high effort emotional amazing content Love you so much man❤
This can't have come out at a more perfect time for me. I'm filming my first short film with my friends who are completely inexperienced actors and shooting the scenes in strange ways, with no knowledge of whether it can look good in the edit or not. It's scary. I just got all of the files off of my camera, so I haven't seen what I've done yet, but this video gave me hope. This video showed me that it doesn't matter, that I CAN make it work, that no amateur shooting can take away the art
wow man… i’ve been following your channel for awhile now but never expected this level of vulnerability, respect man, you are seen. whatever you’re going thru now or in the future you got this ✊. idk you personally but i love you bro
You know man, I’ve never watched a video with as much passion as yours have. The first video of yours I ever saw was The Batman Forever video. It was just awesome to find someone else who shared my opinions on a movie I loved from my childhood. You’ve completely the changed the ways I take in media. You’ve added to my enjoyment for the last three years now. You’re an awesome guy and I appreciate every video you make man. I’ve had dreams of writing whether it be comics or movie scripts, and it’s nice to know there are some people out there chasing their realest dreams.
The raw honesty in this video is as inspiring as spider man 2 and then some, you should be incredibly proud of what you bring to the community. Can't wait for Jason and any other projects you work on!
Now this hits hard. I honestly feel that you can wrote an award nomination level script, with just your own biography. No capes or superheroes. Just your own story, with You as main character. With your own voice as narrator. Because you are great with narrating.
This was such a raw and honest video. I respect you for being able to express what you’ve been feeling in a truthful way. You’re videos have always inspired me, but this video specifically has really inspired me. Never more than now have I wanted to pick up a camera and create something. Thank you Alex, and can’t wait for “Jason”.
Call it cheesy, but I absolutely needed to hear this. You have been one of my go to RUclipsrs for inspiration as of recently. As a fellow inspiring filmmaker, I often have moments of creative drought and wonder if I’m good enough. Your words have helped me gain not only some creative inspiration, but motivation to help inspire not only myself but others. Thank you for everything you do and best of luck for whatever you do next
If RUclips was about connecting with people and having a real authentic experience, then this video is it. I followed you for quite some time, but today I really considered you to be a friend and not just another RUclips essayist. Your honesty is extremely refreshing in this age. Thank you for letting the mask drop. I wish you the best. ❤
Sooo all the criticism and critiques people have had and said over the years….. have been warranted and were right?…. & this opening and self commentary is long long overdue. L O V E Be ya self
I know this is kind of an older video, but I just wanted to say Thank You Alex. I remember when I was 7 - 8 years old watching your Batman Should Not Kill video, and I hated you. I think it was because you were saying my favorite Batman, Batman 89, should not kill. I was closed minded as any young kid is, now I’m 14, and in two months, will be 15. You are the biggest inspiration in my life right now. I have arguments with my parents because I want to be a director, and they think it’s unrealistic. But it’s not. I know it’s not. You showed this to me. I was actually thinking about giving up, just was gonna get a normal 9-5, but then I watched this. And now I’m up till 2 in the morning writing scripts on a school night. Thank You Alex
dude just wanted to say something cause your comment resonanted with me so much. i saw his first video around 2018, when i was the age that you are now. And its genuienly shocking to see how 7,8 year olds were watching that video haha. But i am so inspired by you. keep going. Tell me a bit about any of your favourite scripts or ideas if you want that would be fun
@@bruhmoment1761I have an idea for a fan film I’m working on. Alex mentioned a Spiderman TV show, and my favriote spidey movies are the TASM films, but they could be better. So I want to fix them. I’m working on the script now and I hope I can do it. I have a few ideas but this is the biggest one
@@FanFilmsINC keep me updated and all the best. Rmemeber to try watching movies, shows, and books from other genres as well. That helps your writing tremendously trust me
@@bruhmoment1761 I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do because one hand I really want to make the Amazing Spider-Man movie remake of my dreams, but then I keep getting told online that fan films should just be original story’s.
@@FanFilmsINC honestly, my advice is to stop thinking and making it. As beginner artists, our only duty is to create anything so that we actually learn how to make things. Imagine giving someone advice on what wheels their bike needs when they have never rode a bicycle. Sit on your bike, make your movie. You’ll Learn so much
...I want to make comments on this video. The fact that I'm only 3 years older and I feel like I've already lost all hope to make a difference or tell stories. I grew up loving comics and fantasy. My collection of books and the likes is multiple closets full. But things in my life have torn my creativity and imagination to shreds. ...but this message is hopeful. I just wish I could figure out how to become passionate again.
Thank you to opening up because sometimes it is hard to especially when we try to hide how we feel and who we are. Like you say to us we all hope you doing well man.
Wow, this video really hits a nerve for me, and I found myself in tears by the end of it, you made me cry bro. Your story and message hit home, and I remembered a promise, it's not the first time, it won't be the last, I've been a loyal viewer and following your channel for the past six years, as someone who had a rough childhood, I can relate to the struggles you've faced, I'm no stranger to depression, but I've learned to pick myself up in the darkest moments, I recently lost all of my personal journals filled with ideas and stories, fell again into a depressive almost suicidal state and was giving up on my creative pursuits, the loss left me feeling defeated, unmotivated to start projects and creative endeavors like the ones you do, screenplays and things like that, I've been dwelling on this for 11 days since then, and I've slowly started rebuilding myself. Your video right here accelerated that process and has given me a renewed sense of purpose.The promise I made was to always remember my inner voice, my story, the memories fuel my creative fire, sheer will. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your journey with us. Furthermore, I get the feeling I'm not the only one you've helped tremendously. Your channel has been therapeutic for me over the years, thank you so much for all that you do, Alex, you're the friend I didn't know I needed.
This video is really helpful Alex! I’ve watched your videos since 2018 and they got me to pursue my passions. I’m currently trying to be a self employed jeweler and it’s been difficult because of rent. I’m still holding out hope that I can achieve this. I’m still rooting for you man, because your so worth it!
This video was posted 5 days ago by the time I'm writing this comment. It's only been five days. One Hundred and Twenty Hours in estimation. Seven Thousand, Two Hundred minutes. Four Hundred and Thirty-Two Thousand seconds. That is, If my calculations are correct. Why am I pointing out the current quantity of time that has passed on since this very video by Hitop Films was posted? Because it's how long I've felt, It's how long I've felt watching this video, feeling connected to this very, exact video. Feeling connected to it like a movie I have watched for the past 5 Years. Not 5 days, but 5 years. It's how connected I have felt with this video. Why? Why, may you ask? Why do I feel this connection like a 5 year relationship with a movie I had when it's just been days? I don't particularly know why. But one of the things I know, is that I have watched this for over about, in estimation, 10 times already. Perhaps this view after this comment, will be the eleventh. Ten seems like a small number when it comes to views, but in five days, I sometimes watched it twice a day, the other 2 days it was three times a day, the other day it was 2 views a day, the other 2 days were 1 view a day. But again, why? Why have I watched it these many times for the past couple of days? Because I am, without being able to find the correct words, even if I feel so connected, it still inspires and astonishes me every single time I watch this video. It inspires me, in a filmmaking sense, for me to just start and create in an instant without the fancy gadgets or tools that I want, even if having those is pretty cool. I don't know why, but the videos in RUclips giving advice on how to start a channel does so bad, and does not even inspire and encourage me to start a channel. Yet a RUclips video explaining to their audience WHY he does this, is so much more compelling and extravagant than the other videos. And the use of poetry, assonance (correct me if I'm wrong), melody, rhythm, and flow of the words you use and how you say them astonishes me, even now, still, the way you tell a story through words, flabbergasts me. I love this specific video 100% more than your other movie essay videos that you have done. It brings me to a ground, surface level connecting to the main character of this, Alex. Like a movie, focused on a character. I someday hope to be like you, and this team you have, but right now, it truly and did inspire me to, just create and start. I thank you, Alex. I truly do.
I understand that there are a lot and other more comments made that have perhaps, not been seen by Alex, especially that it's been days after. But just in case, I wrote this comment. Once again, Thank you, Alex.
You got me tearing up with this one Alex, especially throughout the entire “me” section, I’ve never related so much to such raw emotions about feelings on your parents. I’ve also recently gone through a breakup with who I thought to be the love of my life just to be cheated on after five years of being together. Emotions suck, man. Feelings are so hard. Feeling alone is the worst. However, finding other people like you that fall down to the absolute pits of hell but manage to climb their way back up makes it feel like we’re really not all alone in this world. Amazing video.
thank you alex for giving us such inspiration as this. and i am really happy that you're trying to come out of your shell by expressing yourself, we are proud of you 💕
Mr Alex, I was an asshole who rode your coattails back in 2019 over Spider-Man Far From Home making videos about what I deemed to be fair and unfair criticism, when during that period I'd refuse to give TASM1 any credit at all simply because it had the audacity to step into the place of the Raimi Spider-Man when I wasn't ready to see it go. I doubt you noticed, but it did get me an audience at the time, an audience that have supported me in my journey to finding my voice as a RUclipsr and improving. I never meant any disrespect towards you, but, I do apologize because that's just a drop in the water of a very very loud conversation. Anyways, some time's gone by, I've retracted all of that, and I wanna say, that I've always respected your videos' ability to evoke emotion and turn what would otherwise be an analysis into a story. That's impressive. I think this video right here does a lot to recontextualize the voice behind those videos though, to humanize it, and I think looking back on your previous stuff is going to be that much richer for it. I really appreciate hearing your perspective on things other than superhero films, or films, just hearing your story. It's what I'd say you're best at, telling stories. It's easy to forget that these voices are people, successful on the platform or not. You've been through a lot. And you've survived, and you're here speaking to us. That's awesome! So keep being you, keep doing what you do, and once again, sorry for being a total butthole, whether you noticed or not.
I needed to hear this today- it’s been a crazy couple of years, but growing as a creator/person alongside creators like you and the Filmhub have been experiences I’m grateful for- legit changed myself for the better. Back to the grind. Thank you for inspiring me for the last four years.
Wow. You’ve got to be extremely brave to make a video like this. And I loved it. I always felt like I related to you since following your channel 5 years ago. And now, I understand why that is. Excited to see more of your story unfold through Jason.
I have so many stories and characters in my head that I have no idea how to express or get out properly. I want to be a voice actor, but at a certain point I want to create these daydreams into things other people can see and relate to and maybe enjoy. I’m sorry you had to go through all of this, the shyness and self hatred and the hardship with your parents, but I want you to know that you inspire me. One day I will create these stories, maybe you’ll see them, and I hope you know that you showed me the courage to go out and create. I mean you’re making a Jason Todd film. That’s awesome! You’re awesome. From one inspiring creator, thank you for showing your voice and sharing your passion for film. Video essays have become my vice for learning how to write proper characters and development and real ways to connect to characters. So thank you
I get that man. I have all these stories and characters in my head too but whether its because i dont know how to tell them or im worried that they arent good enough they stay there, but not anymore. Im rooting for you man!
Alex, from the bottom of my heart, thank you, thank you for making this video, not just for yourself, but for us. I really needed to hear this. Recently I moved across the country, leaving my friends and family behind. I’m in my second month of film school and I feel so lost, but I’ve been slowly finding my footing and this is exactly what I needed to hear. I feel like an idiot, I don’t know all of the film lingo, I don’t understand all of the equipment, hell I haven’t even seen half of the movies the people in my school are talking about. But I feel that I understand you (to the best of my abilities) your hopes, your dreams, your aspirations, your struggles and your fears. You’ve always been an inspiration to me, so thank you for continuing to push not only me, but all of us to continue to fight for what we believe in. I love you man, we all do. Hope you’re well. - Huy
i was not ready for this, not now, idc about the fact i disagree with some of your movie opinions, i dont care about the fact that i think plumper is so unenjoyable film to watch, idc about the worry of i have of jason todd feeling the same empty overgored garbage that i felt from plumper, i watch u because you make art, art in these video essays, your videos inspire me, hit me, punch me in the face, idk man, this was amazing, jsut amazing video, keep it coming bro, and also idc u wont propably read this, propably see this, or atleast u wont care about this, im just one, one guy in 400k. thats crazy, but still I care, I care of you, and your stories, and your feelings you are able to convey trought essays, truly a unique and rare thing for a youtuber
I've been watching your videos for a long time now, and although i'm not much of a commenting guy, i really have to thank you for this. I've always been afraid to go through with an idea or share a story that I had because people usually say it's not worth it or a waste of time. But after this, I think I'll at least dare myself to try and see how things go. Much love to you man, i hope everything gets better for you.
Fuck, man… it’s been a while since someone’s story on RUclips has truly hit me. I won’t say the usual condolence/pleasantries, that’s not what this video was made for, but I will say this: You are heard, valued, and respected by so many on this platform, myself included, and your comments near the end *really* spoke to me as, in the last couple of years, I have done that very thing of telling my story through fiction, and I hope to do so for as long as possible. Thank you… truly, thank you.
I've been sitting here for 10 minutes rewriting this comment because I just can't find the words to express how much I appreciated this video. Having recently gone through heartbreak, dealing with my own unprocessed childhood traumas, and not knowing what or even who I want to be, you've brought me comfort and made me feel a little less alone. I remember stumbling upon your video about the chocolate cake scene in SM2 5 years ago and I've honestly looked up to you since, I loved the scarecrow and the plumber and hearing how personal those stories were to you is just incredibly inspiring. I don't know how to turn my pain into art, but you've shown me more than anyone else that it's possible, and that it's worth trying. I can't wait to see what you do with Jason Todd and where ever your career goes beyond that, just keep doing you.
Hey Alex, I’m a disabled aspiring musician, writer and voice actor from the uk. ever since I saw the spider-homecoming video (even though I didn’t agree with some of your opinions) it didn’t matter I felt like I found someone who truly loves art the way I do. in school I felt alone people didn’t understand me they took one look at my wheelchair and assumed they knew everything about me I felt so alone. I don’t feel so alone anymore because like you I didn’t want to be me but you made me realise that being yourself may be hard it may be complicated it may be messy but god that’s what makes life worth living! Thanks Alex I hope you’re doing well and let this crazy rollercoaster of a journey continue we love you can’t wait for Jason more importantly can’t wait for your story to be told!
This one is a tear jerker. A necessary video I'm glad to have seen and plenty needed to see. Your story doesn't end with you, and hopefully, it doesn't end with us either in the coming years. Stay Strong, man.
Never met you. Youve Never met me. Probably never will. But bro I love you. You have helped me thru more than I could ever explain to you. This video especially. Stay amazing. You’ve saved more lives than you could possibly believe. Me being one of them 🌹🫶🏾🤘🏾🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 stay amazing my boy
i get so tired of feeling like im writing the same comment every video. but i never get tired of the feeling. alex when you speak, you speak to me. you speak to us. i swear, whenever youtubers talk about why they do what they do, i never get the feeling i do from you. i feel your passion and i share it so deeply. ive honestly never related to someone more who ive never spoken to but i feel you understand me. just the intro alone, youve accomplished in a sense exactly what i aspire to do. find my people. use the passion and emotion and pure angst i feel to drive away the loneliness. not for forever, but to shine a light and to help others. i remember having favorite youtubers as a kid, looking back it seems silly and i try not to have that sorta mentality today because its weird to have that kind of parasocial relationship with people youve never met. stan culture is toxic. but youve earned my allegiance and i dont feel ashamed for it. i feel if anyone were to ask me who i watch, you would be the best answer. because your content and your vision to me is palpable, its something i truly believe in. thank you, every time you upload truly does make my days better in a way no other creator does
Alex. Thank you. You made my skin crawl, think deep thoughts and revisit old and buried memories. You are my favourite indie-filmaker channel just because you have the courage to speak your mind and share your story. You have more power than you realise. That's why I and everyone else supports you.
You're never gonna see this, but you are an inspiration to all of us film geeks out there. You were an inspiration for me making a documentary on my senior year of high school. Your passion for film is what made me stop and think more on what I just watched and try to have a connection to the characters. I have watched you for years and I have never been more happy I did. This video was great and i myself are glad you are still pushing and going strong. Superheroes may not be real but you are a hero to not just me but to all of us who love your videos. Thank you Mr. Hitopfilms and excelsior.
This was beautiful, man. You're videos always move me in some way. I can always feel the passion and love you put into all of your videos. I actually needed this. I'm trying to create stories of my own, but I always feel like it will never be good enough, that I can't help someone with my stories, but watching this reminds me that I can do it. Thank you so much for expressing yourself, for being authentic. Thank you.
"Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody told you it was a happy little tale, if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy not a care in the world, somebody lied... Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words: "With great power comes great responsibility." This is my gift, my curse. Who am I? I'm HiTop Fucking Films!" Thanks for sharing Alex, we love what you're doing man. I can't wait to finally see your Jason Todd movie. If a fraction of the heart, effort, and passion you and your friends put into this video is present in your Jason Todd movie, I know it's gonna be good! You rock man, every video essay you put out is such a treat to watch (your Batman Forever video is still my favorite thing you've made by the way) 🙂
Please make that video about Moonlight. I'd love to hear how about its impact on you. Between Moonlight, If Beal Street Could Talk and Underground Railroad - Barry Jenkins is my film hero
I found your channel about 5 or 6 years ago and ever since you've inspired me when I've felt alone. I've had this yearning to create all my life and you've been sort of a guide to me. Hearing someone talk about their struggles in a way I never really knew how to was something I really needed. So thank you for helping me become the person I am today. I'll try to give a little on your patreon when I can.
Thank you for telling us your story. I'm hesitant to share.. Maybe it's a bit of cowardice or wonder how it makes me look. But I wanted to tell you a short story of my own. Something that made me think of you when it happened. Five years ago (TRUST ME, ITS SHORT) I saw Black Panther and it got me thinking about myself and my philosophies. I used to be a bad person, the kind I'm not proud to say. And I'd decided I wanted to try to be a humanitarian. Or at least my idea of one. I wanted to empathize and better those around me. Not deconstruct but build people up. Ultimately, I failed to meet that goal. It was hard for me. And it lead me to a lot of pain and even an abusive relationship that really messed with my sense of self.. I went from having too hard an edge to being walked on by someone I wanted to make happy. All those details aside, I got out of the toxic side of my relations.. I worked on my world, worked on myself. I wanted to help people, even if I couldn't quite be that coveted thing that was a "humanitarian". And I have. I've made for myself a community of people I've helped. From victims of abuse, loss and other various traumas. I try to educate them on how to communicate themselves well and to educate those they wish to communicate with. There was one week I found myself busy, dragged away a lot to handle situations that came up; someone losing a family member, misunderstandings and other issues. And I remember one day in particular.. My girlfriend had just made this amazing dinner. Some burgers and fries. It looked great and I was ready for a good meal. But before I could even touch my plate.. I get a call. And I laughed and said "Dammit." Because I knew someone needed me to help with something at that exact moment. It made me think of Spider-Man and some of your videos digging into his character. And how often even the smallest little pleasures in his life can be stepped on -- Like an awkward cord in the middle of a beautiful piano recital -- by a need to help someone else. It made me think, "Spider-Man is a character who sacrifices even smaller conveniences to do what's right. And he doesn't regret it." I don't regret it. Doing what I've chosen to do, helping others when I can, isn't easy. But it's worth it. And I never regret doing it. No matter what smaller pleasures I have to give up to take the time for someone in need. That's what I wanted to share.
As someone who has always been a film buff and has often used those films to think about the deeper meaning of life and the human condition I appreciate that film makers like you are pouring their heart into their work. I’m very grateful you were willing to share your story with us and always enjoy watching your work.
I do really relate to the idea of not wanting to be yourself. It helps that I'm trans, but putting that aside I've often wrestled with guilt and a feeling of unfairness for how my life has gone. It's honestly kind of amazing just how much I relate to this video. Obviously not the specifics, but the points and emotions you touch on are really relatable. I also find comfort in stories and characters and finding ways of processing parts of myself through them. Most of the stories I come up with are just different pieces of myself if I'm being honest. Thank you so much for being an amazing creator. You honestly remind me that there are people out there who are trying to say something and express themselves without some veneer of either cynicism or toxic optimism. Love your content and I can't wait to see what you make next!
Such a remarkably vulnerable account. You’re an inspiration to me and so many people my man! With every single one of your videos and films, you lay your heart out for us. Thank you. Keep up the hard work… we’re in your corner!
I don't know that you will see this. But thank you I've watched since "Batman does not kill" that video struck me to my core and perfectly explained how I felt. I fell in love with story telling as a child. I made crappy stop motions with my toys and a digital camera. I've always enjoyed your videos. I started a Film Production program this year... and it has been underwhelming. I'm 23 and I feel like I've gotten nowhere near doing what I wanna do. I feel as though I'm not learning or furthering my goals. And I've felt lost. I've felt like I'm wasting my time and that maybe I'm not meant to tell stories. That I'm a failure. Slowly for the past 8 months I've been feeling worse and worse about something I used to be so passionate about. I thought I was stupid for thinking I could ever work in film, or create something that could make people feel, or even tell a story that someone would want to listen to. I felt alone. Despite having loving and supporting people in my life I still felt alone. Thank you Alex Its nice to know im not alone that im not the only one who can feel lost. Im not happy in the program but ill stay for the paper and the people I have met. But I'm done waiting, wishing, and hoping for the opportunity. I did this because I wanted to tell stories. Not stare at a project and a grade sheet. Or being obsessed with the success of others, and comparing them to my failures. Thank you for making this and talking to us... To me. I look forward to Jason's story, to your story. I cannot wait to tell my own. PS: Thanks for making me cry a lot, very therapeutic.
I can’t lie, I’ve been watching this channel for a while now, and have been feeling like I’ve been falling out of it. As you’ve said before, around a year ago you started feeling that MCU tales weren’t fun anymore, and as much as I want to say that your quality didn’t dip, it was noticeable. Outside of your absolutely amazing Batman forever videos, Spider-Man 2 videos, most of your videos headed toward a steep decline of basically repeating the same thing over and over again. As I got more and more caught up in the sea of twitter and ideas that things have to have a purpose I felt that your videos weren’t as informative as before, and while you had so much passion and love, I also knew that it wasn’t the content I was really looking for as a filmmaker. But I think that’s the point. I’m 2021 I was in my lowest point, suffering through major depression and almost killed myself. It was around this time where I started writing blogs, not to educate, but to vent, to specify a feeling, and that was all. I wanted an excuse to talk about me but I had to hide behind the mask of media that other people liked so that they would read my stuff. And while I’ve changed my writing and grown, I think that want to express myself remains there. So, thank you, Alex, for reminding me of that expression, reminding me that not everything has to teach something, but can instead express a feeling.
Hey Alex, I don't think I ever thought about commenting in a video of your, not because of you actually, I think I pretty much watched every single thing you ever released, it's because I didn't actually think it matter, that you would ever care to here from a guy like me, I don't even live in the same country as you, I'm brazilian, so I don't think I ever thought about commenting. I'm going to say to you though that you inspire the hell out of me, I'm a engineer but to be honest I always wanted to be a filmmaker, I've been in love with movies my whole life, I even have my own youtube channel (don't worry, this is not self promotion, i'm not even comment with my channel's account , this is my personal account) where I tell scary stories and try to recreate them one way or another, even did a short film last year. But i'm always too scared to try something for real, to put myself in to it and to take a chance. Your work, your words, inspire a lot of confidence in me and I just wanted to thank you for been open, for been yourself with us, for being here and talking to everybody who shares same the dreams as you and showing us that it's a hard path but we are not alone in this. And btw, I don't think you were ever screaming words into the void, because we were always here to hear it. The same way we can count you to on being genuine, you can count on us to be here for you 😬.
Wow... made me cry, just, wow. Thank you, this video, if it did one thing, it definitely made me, made me relate. My demons may not be yours and my past may not be yours but things are there. So thank you, thank you for making me feel like i can be.
This is a fucking great video i make dumb silly videos and i wanted to make another one but i had no motivation but this video gave me the motivation i needed thank you Alex
If you'd be telling me this in front of me, I'd have hugged you then and there! that's all I got to say, nothing more. cant even express what I'm feeling
This video came at the perfect time for me. I just started a RUclips channel that is an arg story thing, to complicated to explain in a yt comment on an alt account, but right now I’m not at the storytelling part yet but this video helps me keep going.
Yo Alex, I myself relate to you a lot, to the point of tears. One day I'll produce something extraordinary and would like for you to enjoy the story I have to tell.
Never been prouder to be a fan of this project and your videos, mam u made me cry and think back to trauma... damn u will be the next great storyteller..
If you read this Alex, I'd be very thankful, and if not, at least I'll have shared how I feel right now. Tonight I'm leaving my home country to pursue my film studies at university, but it already feels haunting to leave what I have known for now 19 years of my life. I'm currently feeling heartbroken because of all my struggles trying to be a sociable person (it's not easy to try to socialise when one person is an introvert, has anger issues, no natural social skills, and is the only one in his social circle with interest in film and classic literature). Your video has helped me feel like I'm not the only one who feels alone. I didn't have the problems you had when it comes to parents, but I do resonate with "Batman being my only friend" thing, because it's only through art and through movies that I feel a bit calmer with myself. I always feel scared and insecure to talk about and express my love for film, even around cultivated people, because I always have felt alone in that regard ; for example, I went to watch Oppenheimer THREE TIMES AT THE MOVIE THEATRE because I absolutely love historical dramas and especially one so study-able like this (and the fact that Christopher Nolan wrote and directed it is already a big thing on its own). This very night, it's the first time I ever felt lonely in my life, because I've said goodbye to my friends and my teachers (who supported me in my film dreams). I don't know how to finish my story, but I want to share how I genuinely felt. Now, I just have to finish packing, and if I have the time, maybe I'll watch a movie before going to the airport. Thank you for reading.
@@bruhmoment1761 Thanks for asking mate. It's been 8 months now, and there's been highs and lows, of course. I rarely felt homesick, actually. In fact, this place feels like home, and I socialised more in one year than when I lived with my parents. I can finally go run on the street without feeling scared of getting robbed, I breathe more easily over here at the coast of the Atlantic ocean, and I feel insanely identified with the people here ! It's been a very good restart for me, and I needed something like this. (Finding passionate people for film is hard, though. But I have to push myself to talk about my passions for reading and film.) I'm lucky to stay in touch with my parents once a week (at least). Happiness is real, and I'm finally starting on the right foot ! There's work to be done for myself, but I'm positive !
It's near the end of june 2024. It's been a silent rollercoaster in retrospective. Why ? Well, I felt discouraged by my relationship with my film classmates. I lost hope for my dreams of filmmaking while knowing I was in for a terrifying fact : making art that pleases someone else comes with a price, my own feelings and life. I lost the need and want to share my ideas because I lost hope on expressing myself through art, and I am trying to express my emotions through speech at the same time I tell myself to not do it for fear of opening up. It made me te-think what I want to do with my life. If not filmmaking (at least, as a director), then what else ? What about being vulnerable when I stopped wanting to express myself in an overly sentimental way like a teen ? That's the difficult part, because I was melodramatic in retrospect and according to my point of view. I'm 20, happy to have time to think about what I can do with the studies I'm lucky to go through, and wanting one thing now : not to work, but to merely fall in love with a girl in order to feel real and private intimacy. I have the summer and the rest of the year to think.
As someone who's just finished university and has been recovering from chronic illness and mental health struggles while trying to write screenplays and teach myself editing... this hits hard as fuck
I have nothing special or intelligent to say. I can only say that I appreciate your work so much and that I am proud to be your fan and to know this community. you're the best
I've been watching this channel ever since I stumbled upon "Batman does not kill". I absolutely love your script writing, editing and the level of expression you possess. I admire your genuine passion for superheroes which act as a beacon of hope not only for the fictional people in distress but also us, the audience. Keep going man! I'm with ya all the way!
thank you. this video gives me hope for the future of not only cinema and storytelling, but what it's all about... being a better human in this limited amount of time we all have with each other. thank you once again
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Thank you for supporting HiTop Films. Thank you for being there for me. Hopefully, I can be there for you.
hi
I sent you an email in hopes of possibly talking to you. Figured it was worth a shot. It's okay if you don't get to it. I understand that, lol
Last 5 min got me in tears
And we all are here for you ✌
Literally so amazing I just can't belive how much pain can really be channeled into art in so many ways makes me hopful.
I just want to take a moment and say… Alex, you’ve been a huge inspiration to me!
I don’t make movies or write scripts (not yet, at least), but watching you makes me believe that I can be better. That there is a way out of loneliness, anger and suffering. I am kind of shy to even write this, but seeing you open yourself up a bit, makes me less afraid.
Watching you over the years, seeing your empathy towards filmmakers, listening to how you talk about art and how meaningful the art is to oneself… it resonates with me and inspires me. Hell, even this comment’s writing style is in a way inspired by your speech.
Thank you so much for being here, for sharing this, and for making us… feel!
I wish you (and everyone reading this) all the best! ❤️
Thank you for the lovely comment. Keep going and keep creating, you will inspire those around you.
Lmao
Thanks for trusting me with assembling your story ❤❤
There is nobody else who could do it. ❣
@@HiTopFilms This combination is the equivalent of the Mega Powers, it just works PERFECTLY!
Never been prouder to be a fan of your work, and to be able to call you a friend ❤
Thank you so much Owen. You've been there since the start. Means so much.
You’re n inspiration alex❤
I've been watching for about four years now, and I think seeing you grow through these videos has been a massive part of my own growth over the last four years. Not just as a prospective storyteller, not just as a RUclipsr, but as a person. You and Loverboy have done so much to affect the way I engage with art and stories and through that, how I engage with myself and others, and I can't thank either of you enough for that.
So excited for Jason and whatever comes after ❤
Thank you buddy!
It goes both way. ❤️
I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of Loverboy’s editing, it just fits the videos so well
thank you 🙏
@@LoverboyMedia no problem man, keep up the insanely talented stuff you pull off
Hey Alex, I hope you are doing well. I understand how you feel and I cried while watching this video. I understand how you feel and it's important to me that you know your work has made me feel so much, so please, don't you ever stop.
Thank you, Jacob. I don't plan on stopping anytime soon.
@@HiTopFilms all the love
In tears rn. I just want to thank you for helping me discover my love for filmmaking and if you ever see this comment, just know we, all of the people you’ve helped feel a little less alone, are rooting for you❤
And I'm rooting for you.
(Cringe warning)
Dear Mr. Films,
Thank you for this video. This may sound ridiculously hyperbolic and/or parasocial, but I genuinely cannot articulate how valuable seeing this kind of earnest vulnerability from the man who first awakened my love of analysis, art and storytelling is to me. Your work is a testament to the power of the connections we form with the art we love, and how truly beautiful that art can be. Being eighteen and angry myself, the poetic lyricism of your art and willingness to introspect through it is a breath of fresh air amongst a sea of apathy, and I believe that sentiment is shared by many others too. In the face of modern fears and tragedies, it has become all the more essential to pursue the light, for all humanity. So, I suppose what I'm truly attempting to convey within this emotionally smothering comment is that your art is valuable, and that I look forward to seeing the rest of your story unfold. The art we create gives us purpose, and ultimately fulfillment, and that joy of creation is something we're both pursuing.
Take care of yourself, and keep creating 💙💖
- A wild trains gorl
It is never cringe to truly express yourself, it is in essence art itself. Will everyone understand it? No because it's not a textbook.
This isn’t cringe, this is wholesome
I'm glad to see there are others who share the same feelings towards something special
So wait where's the cringe? I was promised cringe this is outrageous you will be hearing from my lawyer
@@MojaveMoron lmao😂
Its good to see you this open with yourself. Im happy to be a fan and see your growth as a yt and a film maker👍🏼. Its ruff out there and I can relate to what you went through, being that creative guy with s spark still seaching for what they want to say. But it gets better trust me🖊🙏🏽
This felt like a punch in the gut and now I feel empty cuz my stomach is but my vision is more clear and I feel seen. I feel you brother and know that you’ll always got a friend in me, in all of us. Much Love to you and Loverboy for this incredible editing 💜💜
I'm here
This video has to be one of the most inspiring things I've heard in a while. Thank you for this.😢💜
Every time Alex closes a video, I feel so empowered and so full of hope and love. But also sorrow because it feels like his last words before he dies. And i feel too attached to him for that
I truly wish you the best, man. I love how you express yourself and I will always support your content, god bless you bro.
Alex, thank you for sharing your story. It is hugely inspirational for me. Actually, you’ve been a constant inspiration for me for years now, and I am truly grateful for that. I’m truly grateful for you. Keep making amazing work. Honestly can’t wait for Jason!!
Thank you. I'm grateful for you too, my friend.
GOOD TIME & EVIL DEAD VIDEOS WHEN ???
Alex man…. That hit harder than I expected it too. Everything you said about your dad being your best friend, and introducing you to movies and comics… I related a little too much to that. As an aspiring filmmaker, this video means more than you’ll ever know. Continue to do what you do Alex, because your work inspires me ❤️
Man you killed it with this video. The relatabilty and honesty is really felt so forgetting about clicks and views, talk about what you want to talk about. I myself am here to listen to what you have to say more than the things you talk about. Keep killing it man
This hit a little too close to home.
I'm 17 and a wannabe film maker with a similar home life - please don't stop creating.
Thank you Alex, thank you.
Ikr bruh. This vid hits so hard.
I’m ur age too, another wannabe filmmaker who knows these next few years will set up my life trajectory… whatever that means.
Hopefully I’ll see you at the Oscars :)
holyshit, man. you got me crying. some moment later i’ll write about your video/words with the love they deserve. thank you for keep doing this the way you do. it’s such a honor and pleasure to follow your work! i’m a kind of an artist myself :) love from brazil!
You’re not alone Alex, you’ve inspired a lot of kids like you and I hope we can carry that inspiration with us into what we make and inspire more
This was really inspiring and warm with great music choices and editing by Loverboy. Thank you for this, Alex.
I just want to say this:
All those years ago until now your videos have been such a phenomenal source of inspiration for me.
I myself have a passion for filmmaking and you opening up in this video encourages me to open up and tell my story. We all have one to tell and I hope for everyone they know that their voice matters too.
Thank you for everything
Every video you make hits harder than the last one.
Since I finished high school, since I started to going though strong moments in my life all I wanted to do is create something like the films I use to see, something meaningful and relatable for the people that is going through the same problems that we all are. But until this day, it's very hard to me to even grab a camera, I know what I would like to do, but I don't have the courage for start doing something, too shy to even look at the people's eyes. For that reason I've never found a group of people that share the same passion as I do, so until I stop being alone in this, I think I will rest that dream for a while. Hopefuly, one day, I will be able to have the courage to reach that dream.
Thank you for sharing your experience for those who feel incapable of doing things. Just like you said, "the irony of lonelines is that we all share it".
This is vulnerable. This is encouraging. This is beautiful.
Thank you. Not only for this, but everything you do. The urge to tell stories lies within all of us and if we all would just gather the courage to tell ours there would be much less loneliness.
Facing every possible insecurity you have and overcoming them by posting this video is admirable.
You have ALMOST made me cry. You have inspired me. But most importantly.. you have made me feel seen.
I had to cry in the end there man, shit was a tearjerking work of art
This means so much to me thank thank you so fucking much ive been alone and hurting for a while but this video really haves help me to keep going i really out of words
Never comment (I watch every video), but gotta say was not expecting a video like this. 10/10 good job man
Alex I've followed you for years now
You have been and continue to be one of the most influential creatives to me thank you so much for your continued effort to make high effort emotional amazing content
Love you so much man❤
Love you too! Thank you for the support all these years.
This can't have come out at a more perfect time for me. I'm filming my first short film with my friends who are completely inexperienced actors and shooting the scenes in strange ways, with no knowledge of whether it can look good in the edit or not. It's scary. I just got all of the files off of my camera, so I haven't seen what I've done yet, but this video gave me hope. This video showed me that it doesn't matter, that I CAN make it work, that no amateur shooting can take away the art
wow man… i’ve been following your channel for awhile now but never expected this level of vulnerability, respect man, you are seen. whatever you’re going thru now or in the future you got this ✊. idk you personally but i love you bro
If it means anything, you are my Batman.
I'm not someone who comments, but i want to tell you that me/we are here for you, love from italy❤
❤️
You know man, I’ve never watched a video with as much passion as yours have. The first video of yours I ever saw was The Batman Forever video. It was just awesome to find someone else who shared my opinions on a movie I loved from my childhood. You’ve completely the changed the ways I take in media. You’ve added to my enjoyment for the last three years now. You’re an awesome guy and I appreciate every video you make man. I’ve had dreams of writing whether it be comics or movie scripts, and it’s nice to know there are some people out there chasing their realest dreams.
I cannot express my excitement for Jason. I love your style and I really hope you’re able to get far bro.
The raw honesty in this video is as inspiring as spider man 2 and then some, you should be incredibly proud of what you bring to the community. Can't wait for Jason and any other projects you work on!
Now this hits hard. I honestly feel that you can wrote an award nomination level script, with just your own biography. No capes or superheroes. Just your own story, with You as main character. With your own voice as narrator. Because you are great with narrating.
Thanks for this, Alex. Not just for being so vulnerable, but for the reminder to tell my story.
This was such a raw and honest video. I respect you for being able to express what you’ve been feeling in a truthful way. You’re videos have always inspired me, but this video specifically has really inspired me. Never more than now have I wanted to pick up a camera and create something. Thank you Alex, and can’t wait for “Jason”.
Call it cheesy, but I absolutely needed to hear this. You have been one of my go to RUclipsrs for inspiration as of recently. As a fellow inspiring filmmaker, I often have moments of creative drought and wonder if I’m good enough. Your words have helped me gain not only some creative inspiration, but motivation to help inspire not only myself but others. Thank you for everything you do and best of luck for whatever you do next
Bro woke up and decided to say something true and beautiful
If RUclips was about connecting with people and having a real authentic experience, then this video is it. I followed you for quite some time, but today I really considered you to be a friend and not just another RUclips essayist. Your honesty is extremely refreshing in this age. Thank you for letting the mask drop. I wish you the best. ❤
Sooo all the criticism and critiques people have had and said over the years….. have been warranted and were right?…. & this opening and self commentary is long long overdue. L O V E
Be ya self
I know this is kind of an older video, but I just wanted to say Thank You Alex. I remember when I was 7 - 8 years old watching your Batman Should Not Kill video, and I hated you. I think it was because you were saying my favorite Batman, Batman 89, should not kill. I was closed minded as any young kid is, now I’m 14, and in two months, will be 15. You are the biggest inspiration in my life right now. I have arguments with my parents because I want to be a director, and they think it’s unrealistic. But it’s not. I know it’s not. You showed this to me. I was actually thinking about giving up, just was gonna get a normal 9-5, but then I watched this. And now I’m up till 2 in the morning writing scripts on a school night. Thank You Alex
dude just wanted to say something cause your comment resonanted with me so much. i saw his first video around 2018, when i was the age that you are now. And its genuienly shocking to see how 7,8 year olds were watching that video haha. But i am so inspired by you. keep going. Tell me a bit about any of your favourite scripts or ideas if you want that would be fun
@@bruhmoment1761I have an idea for a fan film I’m working on. Alex mentioned a Spiderman TV show, and my favriote spidey movies are the TASM films, but they could be better. So I want to fix them. I’m working on the script now and I hope I can do it. I have a few ideas but this is the biggest one
@@FanFilmsINC keep me updated and all the best. Rmemeber to try watching movies, shows, and books from other genres as well. That helps your writing tremendously trust me
@@bruhmoment1761 I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do because one hand I really want to make the Amazing Spider-Man movie remake of my dreams, but then I keep getting told online that fan films should just be original story’s.
@@FanFilmsINC honestly, my advice is to stop thinking and making it. As beginner artists, our only duty is to create anything so that we actually learn how to make things. Imagine giving someone advice on what wheels their bike needs when they have never rode a bicycle. Sit on your bike, make your movie. You’ll Learn so much
...I want to make comments on this video. The fact that I'm only 3 years older and I feel like I've already lost all hope to make a difference or tell stories. I grew up loving comics and fantasy. My collection of books and the likes is multiple closets full. But things in my life have torn my creativity and imagination to shreds. ...but this message is hopeful. I just wish I could figure out how to become passionate again.
Thank you to opening up because sometimes it is hard to especially when we try to hide how we feel and who we are. Like you say to us we all hope you doing well man.
Truth
I haven’t finished the video yet but please please make videos on non marvel movies WE WILL WATCH
Wow, this video really hits a nerve for me, and I found myself in tears by the end of it, you made me cry bro. Your story and message hit home, and I remembered a promise, it's not the first time, it won't be the last, I've been a loyal viewer and following your channel for the past six years, as someone who had a rough childhood, I can relate to the struggles you've faced, I'm no stranger to depression, but I've learned to pick myself up in the darkest moments, I recently lost all of my personal journals filled with ideas and stories, fell again into a depressive almost suicidal state and was giving up on my creative pursuits, the loss left me feeling defeated, unmotivated to start projects and creative endeavors like the ones you do, screenplays and things like that, I've been dwelling on this for 11 days since then, and I've slowly started rebuilding myself. Your video right here accelerated that process and has given me a renewed sense of purpose.The promise I made was to always remember my inner voice, my story, the memories fuel my creative fire, sheer will. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your journey with us. Furthermore, I get the feeling I'm not the only one you've helped tremendously. Your channel has been therapeutic for me over the years, thank you so much for all that you do, Alex, you're the friend I didn't know I needed.
This video is really helpful Alex! I’ve watched your videos since 2018 and they got me to pursue my passions. I’m currently trying to be a self employed jeweler and it’s been difficult because of rent. I’m still holding out hope that I can achieve this. I’m still rooting for you man, because your so worth it!
This video was posted 5 days ago by the time I'm writing this comment. It's only been five days. One Hundred and Twenty Hours in estimation. Seven Thousand, Two Hundred minutes. Four Hundred and Thirty-Two Thousand seconds. That is, If my calculations are correct. Why am I pointing out the current quantity of time that has passed on since this very video by Hitop Films was posted? Because it's how long I've felt, It's how long I've felt watching this video, feeling connected to this very, exact video. Feeling connected to it like a movie I have watched for the past 5 Years. Not 5 days, but 5 years. It's how connected I have felt with this video. Why? Why, may you ask? Why do I feel this connection like a 5 year relationship with a movie I had when it's just been days? I don't particularly know why. But one of the things I know, is that I have watched this for over about, in estimation, 10 times already. Perhaps this view after this comment, will be the eleventh. Ten seems like a small number when it comes to views, but in five days, I sometimes watched it twice a day, the other 2 days it was three times a day, the other day it was 2 views a day, the other 2 days were 1 view a day. But again, why? Why have I watched it these many times for the past couple of days? Because I am, without being able to find the correct words, even if I feel so connected, it still inspires and astonishes me every single time I watch this video. It inspires me, in a filmmaking sense, for me to just start and create in an instant without the fancy gadgets or tools that I want, even if having those is pretty cool. I don't know why, but the videos in RUclips giving advice on how to start a channel does so bad, and does not even inspire and encourage me to start a channel. Yet a RUclips video explaining to their audience WHY he does this, is so much more compelling and extravagant than the other videos. And the use of poetry, assonance (correct me if I'm wrong), melody, rhythm, and flow of the words you use and how you say them astonishes me, even now, still, the way you tell a story through words, flabbergasts me. I love this specific video 100% more than your other movie essay videos that you have done. It brings me to a ground, surface level connecting to the main character of this, Alex. Like a movie, focused on a character. I someday hope to be like you, and this team you have, but right now, it truly and did inspire me to, just create and start. I thank you, Alex. I truly do.
I understand that there are a lot and other more comments made that have perhaps, not been seen by Alex, especially that it's been days after. But just in case, I wrote this comment. Once again, Thank you, Alex.
Alex I’ve never needed a video so badly. Thank you
You got me tearing up with this one Alex, especially throughout the entire “me” section, I’ve never related so much to such raw emotions about feelings on your parents. I’ve also recently gone through a breakup with who I thought to be the love of my life just to be cheated on after five years of being together. Emotions suck, man. Feelings are so hard. Feeling alone is the worst. However, finding other people like you that fall down to the absolute pits of hell but manage to climb their way back up makes it feel like we’re really not all alone in this world. Amazing video.
thank you alex for giving us such inspiration as this. and i am really happy that you're trying to come out of your shell by expressing yourself, we are proud of you 💕
Mr Alex, I was an asshole who rode your coattails back in 2019 over Spider-Man Far From Home making videos about what I deemed to be fair and unfair criticism, when during that period I'd refuse to give TASM1 any credit at all simply because it had the audacity to step into the place of the Raimi Spider-Man when I wasn't ready to see it go.
I doubt you noticed, but it did get me an audience at the time, an audience that have supported me in my journey to finding my voice as a RUclipsr and improving. I never meant any disrespect towards you, but, I do apologize because that's just a drop in the water of a very very loud conversation.
Anyways, some time's gone by, I've retracted all of that, and I wanna say, that I've always respected your videos' ability to evoke emotion and turn what would otherwise be an analysis into a story. That's impressive. I think this video right here does a lot to recontextualize the voice behind those videos though, to humanize it, and I think looking back on your previous stuff is going to be that much richer for it. I really appreciate hearing your perspective on things other than superhero films, or films, just hearing your story. It's what I'd say you're best at, telling stories.
It's easy to forget that these voices are people, successful on the platform or not. You've been through a lot. And you've survived, and you're here speaking to us. That's awesome!
So keep being you, keep doing what you do, and once again, sorry for being a total butthole, whether you noticed or not.
I needed to hear this today- it’s been a crazy couple of years, but growing as a creator/person alongside creators like you and the Filmhub have been experiences I’m grateful for- legit changed myself for the better.
Back to the grind. Thank you for inspiring me for the last four years.
Wow. You’ve got to be extremely brave to make a video like this. And I loved it. I always felt like I related to you since following your channel 5 years ago. And now, I understand why that is. Excited to see more of your story unfold through Jason.
I have so many stories and characters in my head that I have no idea how to express or get out properly. I want to be a voice actor, but at a certain point I want to create these daydreams into things other people can see and relate to and maybe enjoy.
I’m sorry you had to go through all of this, the shyness and self hatred and the hardship with your parents, but I want you to know that you inspire me. One day I will create these stories, maybe you’ll see them, and I hope you know that you showed me the courage to go out and create. I mean you’re making a Jason Todd film. That’s awesome! You’re awesome. From one inspiring creator, thank you for showing your voice and sharing your passion for film. Video essays have become my vice for learning how to write proper characters and development and real ways to connect to characters. So thank you
I get that man. I have all these stories and characters in my head too but whether its because i dont know how to tell them or im worried that they arent good enough they stay there, but not anymore. Im rooting for you man!
@@thatghostyboi9801 thank you!
uh oh. the spark has been reignited again. maybe i do want to be better
Alex, from the bottom of my heart, thank you, thank you for making this video, not just for yourself, but for us. I really needed to hear this. Recently I moved across the country, leaving my friends and family behind. I’m in my second month of film school and I feel so lost, but I’ve been slowly finding my footing and this is exactly what I needed to hear. I feel like an idiot, I don’t know all of the film lingo, I don’t understand all of the equipment, hell I haven’t even seen half of the movies the people in my school are talking about. But I feel that I understand you (to the best of my abilities) your hopes, your dreams, your aspirations, your struggles and your fears. You’ve always been an inspiration to me, so thank you for continuing to push not only me, but all of us to continue to fight for what we believe in. I love you man, we all do. Hope you’re well. - Huy
i was not ready for this, not now, idc about the fact i disagree with some of your movie opinions, i dont care about the fact that i think plumper is so unenjoyable film to watch, idc about the worry of i have of jason todd feeling the same empty overgored garbage that i felt from plumper, i watch u because you make art, art in these video essays, your videos inspire me, hit me, punch me in the face, idk man, this was amazing, jsut amazing video, keep it coming bro, and also idc u wont propably read this, propably see this, or atleast u wont care about this, im just one, one guy in 400k. thats crazy, but still I care, I care of you, and your stories, and your feelings you are able to convey trought essays, truly a unique and rare thing for a youtuber
I've been watching your videos for a long time now, and although i'm not much of a commenting guy, i really have to thank you for this. I've always been afraid to go through with an idea or share a story that I had because people usually say it's not worth it or a waste of time. But after this, I think I'll at least dare myself to try and see how things go.
Much love to you man, i hope everything gets better for you.
You will never regret trying. Thank you for the support and the beautiful words. ❤️
much love buddy ❤️
Fuck, man… it’s been a while since someone’s story on RUclips has truly hit me. I won’t say the usual condolence/pleasantries, that’s not what this video was made for, but I will say this: You are heard, valued, and respected by so many on this platform, myself included, and your comments near the end *really* spoke to me as, in the last couple of years, I have done that very thing of telling my story through fiction, and I hope to do so for as long as possible.
Thank you… truly, thank you.
Thank you for sharing so much about your personal life. That takes courage. May you achieve all success and find happiness in your endeavours! :)
I've been sitting here for 10 minutes rewriting this comment because I just can't find the words to express how much I appreciated this video. Having recently gone through heartbreak, dealing with my own unprocessed childhood traumas, and not knowing what or even who I want to be, you've brought me comfort and made me feel a little less alone.
I remember stumbling upon your video about the chocolate cake scene in SM2 5 years ago and I've honestly looked up to you since, I loved the scarecrow and the plumber and hearing how personal those stories were to you is just incredibly inspiring. I don't know how to turn my pain into art, but you've shown me more than anyone else that it's possible, and that it's worth trying.
I can't wait to see what you do with Jason Todd and where ever your career goes beyond that, just keep doing you.
Hey Alex, I’m a disabled aspiring musician, writer and voice actor from the uk. ever since I saw the spider-homecoming video (even though I didn’t agree with some of your opinions) it didn’t matter I felt like I found someone who truly loves art the way I do. in school I felt alone people didn’t understand me they took one look at my wheelchair and assumed they knew everything about me I felt so alone. I don’t feel so alone anymore because like you I didn’t want to be me but you made me realise that being yourself may be hard it may be complicated it may be messy but god that’s what makes life worth living! Thanks Alex I hope you’re doing well and let this crazy rollercoaster of a journey continue we love you can’t wait for Jason more importantly can’t wait for your story to be told!
This one is a tear jerker. A necessary video I'm glad to have seen and plenty needed to see. Your story doesn't end with you, and hopefully, it doesn't end with us either in the coming years. Stay Strong, man.
Never met you. Youve Never met me. Probably never will. But bro I love you. You have helped me thru more than I could ever explain to you. This video especially.
Stay amazing. You’ve saved more lives than you could possibly believe. Me being one of them 🌹🫶🏾🤘🏾🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 stay amazing my boy
i get so tired of feeling like im writing the same comment every video. but i never get tired of the feeling. alex when you speak, you speak to me. you speak to us. i swear, whenever youtubers talk about why they do what they do, i never get the feeling i do from you. i feel your passion and i share it so deeply. ive honestly never related to someone more who ive never spoken to but i feel you understand me. just the intro alone, youve accomplished in a sense exactly what i aspire to do. find my people. use the passion and emotion and pure angst i feel to drive away the loneliness. not for forever, but to shine a light and to help others. i remember having favorite youtubers as a kid, looking back it seems silly and i try not to have that sorta mentality today because its weird to have that kind of parasocial relationship with people youve never met. stan culture is toxic. but youve earned my allegiance and i dont feel ashamed for it. i feel if anyone were to ask me who i watch, you would be the best answer. because your content and your vision to me is palpable, its something i truly believe in. thank you, every time you upload truly does make my days better in a way no other creator does
Alex. Thank you. You made my skin crawl, think deep thoughts and revisit old and buried memories. You are my favourite indie-filmaker channel just because you have the courage to speak your mind and share your story. You have more power than you realise. That's why I and everyone else supports you.
You're never gonna see this, but you are an inspiration to all of us film geeks out there. You were an inspiration for me making a documentary on my senior year of high school. Your passion for film is what made me stop and think more on what I just watched and try to have a connection to the characters. I have watched you for years and I have never been more happy I did. This video was great and i myself are glad you are still pushing and going strong. Superheroes may not be real but you are a hero to not just me but to all of us who love your videos. Thank you Mr. Hitopfilms and excelsior.
This was beautiful, man. You're videos always move me in some way. I can always feel the passion and love you put into all of your videos.
I actually needed this. I'm trying to create stories of my own, but I always feel like it will never be good enough, that I can't help someone with my stories, but watching this reminds me that I can do it. Thank you so much for expressing yourself, for being authentic. Thank you.
You can do it!
"Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody told you it was a happy little tale, if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy not a care in the world, somebody lied... Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words: "With great power comes great responsibility." This is my gift, my curse. Who am I? I'm HiTop Fucking Films!"
Thanks for sharing Alex, we love what you're doing man. I can't wait to finally see your Jason Todd movie. If a fraction of the heart, effort, and passion you and your friends put into this video is present in your Jason Todd movie, I know it's gonna be good! You rock man, every video essay you put out is such a treat to watch (your Batman Forever video is still my favorite thing you've made by the way) 🙂
Your loneliness is why I love you ❤️
You understand Man ❤
Please make that video about Moonlight. I'd love to hear how about its impact on you. Between Moonlight, If Beal Street Could Talk and Underground Railroad - Barry Jenkins is my film hero
I found your channel about 5 or 6 years ago and ever since you've inspired me when I've felt alone. I've had this yearning to create all my life and you've been sort of a guide to me. Hearing someone talk about their struggles in a way I never really knew how to was something I really needed. So thank you for helping me become the person I am today. I'll try to give a little on your patreon when I can.
Thank you for telling us your story.
I'm hesitant to share.. Maybe it's a bit of cowardice or wonder how it makes me look. But I wanted to tell you a short story of my own. Something that made me think of you when it happened. Five years ago (TRUST ME, ITS SHORT) I saw Black Panther and it got me thinking about myself and my philosophies. I used to be a bad person, the kind I'm not proud to say. And I'd decided I wanted to try to be a humanitarian. Or at least my idea of one.
I wanted to empathize and better those around me. Not deconstruct but build people up. Ultimately, I failed to meet that goal. It was hard for me. And it lead me to a lot of pain and even an abusive relationship that really messed with my sense of self.. I went from having too hard an edge to being walked on by someone I wanted to make happy.
All those details aside, I got out of the toxic side of my relations.. I worked on my world, worked on myself. I wanted to help people, even if I couldn't quite be that coveted thing that was a "humanitarian". And I have. I've made for myself a community of people I've helped. From victims of abuse, loss and other various traumas. I try to educate them on how to communicate themselves well and to educate those they wish to communicate with.
There was one week I found myself busy, dragged away a lot to handle situations that came up; someone losing a family member, misunderstandings and other issues. And I remember one day in particular.. My girlfriend had just made this amazing dinner. Some burgers and fries. It looked great and I was ready for a good meal. But before I could even touch my plate.. I get a call. And I laughed and said "Dammit." Because I knew someone needed me to help with something at that exact moment.
It made me think of Spider-Man and some of your videos digging into his character. And how often even the smallest little pleasures in his life can be stepped on -- Like an awkward cord in the middle of a beautiful piano recital -- by a need to help someone else. It made me think, "Spider-Man is a character who sacrifices even smaller conveniences to do what's right. And he doesn't regret it." I don't regret it. Doing what I've chosen to do, helping others when I can, isn't easy. But it's worth it. And I never regret doing it. No matter what smaller pleasures I have to give up to take the time for someone in need.
That's what I wanted to share.
wow! first time being first! 😊
As someone who has always been a film buff and has often used those films to think about the deeper meaning of life and the human condition I appreciate that film makers like you are pouring their heart into their work. I’m very grateful you were willing to share your story with us and always enjoy watching your work.
I do really relate to the idea of not wanting to be yourself. It helps that I'm trans, but putting that aside I've often wrestled with guilt and a feeling of unfairness for how my life has gone. It's honestly kind of amazing just how much I relate to this video. Obviously not the specifics, but the points and emotions you touch on are really relatable. I also find comfort in stories and characters and finding ways of processing parts of myself through them. Most of the stories I come up with are just different pieces of myself if I'm being honest. Thank you so much for being an amazing creator. You honestly remind me that there are people out there who are trying to say something and express themselves without some veneer of either cynicism or toxic optimism. Love your content and I can't wait to see what you make next!
Such a remarkably vulnerable account. You’re an inspiration to me and so many people my man! With every single one of your videos and films, you lay your heart out for us. Thank you. Keep up the hard work… we’re in your corner!
I don't know that you will see this.
But thank you
I've watched since "Batman does not kill" that video struck me to my core and perfectly explained how I felt. I fell in love with story telling as a child. I made crappy stop motions with my toys and a digital camera. I've always enjoyed your videos. I started a Film Production program this year... and it has been underwhelming. I'm 23 and I feel like I've gotten nowhere near doing what I wanna do. I feel as though I'm not learning or furthering my goals. And I've felt lost. I've felt like I'm wasting my time and that maybe I'm not meant to tell stories. That I'm a failure. Slowly for the past 8 months I've been feeling worse and worse about something I used to be so passionate about. I thought I was stupid for thinking I could ever work in film, or create something that could make people feel, or even tell a story that someone would want to listen to. I felt alone. Despite having loving and supporting people in my life I still felt alone.
Thank you Alex
Its nice to know im not alone that im not the only one who can feel lost. Im not happy in the program but ill stay for the paper and the people I have met. But I'm done waiting, wishing, and hoping for the opportunity. I did this because I wanted to tell stories. Not stare at a project and a grade sheet. Or being obsessed with the success of others, and comparing them to my failures. Thank you for making this and talking to us... To me. I look forward to Jason's story, to your story. I cannot wait to tell my own.
PS: Thanks for making me cry a lot, very therapeutic.
I can’t lie, I’ve been watching this channel for a while now, and have been feeling like I’ve been falling out of it. As you’ve said before, around a year ago you started feeling that MCU tales weren’t fun anymore, and as much as I want to say that your quality didn’t dip, it was noticeable. Outside of your absolutely amazing Batman forever videos, Spider-Man 2 videos, most of your videos headed toward a steep decline of basically repeating the same thing over and over again. As I got more and more caught up in the sea of twitter and ideas that things have to have a purpose I felt that your videos weren’t as informative as before, and while you had so much passion and love, I also knew that it wasn’t the content I was really looking for as a filmmaker. But I think that’s the point.
I’m 2021 I was in my lowest point, suffering through major depression and almost killed myself. It was around this time where I started writing blogs, not to educate, but to vent, to specify a feeling, and that was all. I wanted an excuse to talk about me but I had to hide behind the mask of media that other people liked so that they would read my stuff. And while I’ve changed my writing and grown, I think that want to express myself remains there. So, thank you, Alex, for reminding me of that expression, reminding me that not everything has to teach something, but can instead express a feeling.
Hey Alex,
I don't think I ever thought about commenting in a video of your, not because of you actually, I think I pretty much watched every single thing you ever released, it's because I didn't actually think it matter, that you would ever care to here from a guy like me, I don't even live in the same country as you, I'm brazilian, so I don't think I ever thought about commenting.
I'm going to say to you though that you inspire the hell out of me, I'm a engineer but to be honest I always wanted to be a filmmaker, I've been in love with movies my whole life, I even have my own youtube channel (don't worry, this is not self promotion, i'm not even comment with my channel's account , this is my personal account) where I tell scary stories and try to recreate them one way or another, even did a short film last year. But i'm always too scared to try something for real, to put myself in to it and to take a chance.
Your work, your words, inspire a lot of confidence in me and I just wanted to thank you for been open, for been yourself with us, for being here and talking to everybody who shares same the dreams as you and showing us that it's a hard path but we are not alone in this.
And btw, I don't think you were ever screaming words into the void, because we were always here to hear it.
The same way we can count you to on being genuine, you can count on us to be here for you 😬.
That is an awesome life documentary, loved it. You will become successful filmmaker one day, keep putting the efforts & wish u the best!
This vid got me crying in a Bucc-ees parking lot. Thank you for being brave enough to share this. Here's to the fools who dream ❤.
I always come back here when I need a motivation booster. Thank you for the tears and the will to continue.
Wow... made me cry, just, wow. Thank you, this video, if it did one thing, it definitely made me, made me relate. My demons may not be yours and my past may not be yours but things are there. So thank you, thank you for making me feel like i can be.
This is a fucking great video i make dumb silly videos and i wanted to make another one but i had no motivation but this video gave me the motivation i needed
thank you Alex
Wooow amazing video Alex, heartbreaking but beautiful ❤️ I wish you the best in life you deserve it
If you'd be telling me this in front of me, I'd have hugged you then and there!
that's all I got to say, nothing more. cant even express what I'm feeling
This video came at the perfect time for me. I just started a RUclips channel that is an arg story thing, to complicated to explain in a yt comment on an alt account, but right now I’m not at the storytelling part yet but this video helps me keep going.
Yo Alex, I myself relate to you a lot, to the point of tears. One day I'll produce something extraordinary and would like for you to enjoy the story I have to tell.
Bailey is the goat, fantastically edited, what a video
Never been prouder to be a fan of this project and your videos, mam u made me cry and think back to trauma... damn u will be the next great storyteller..
Alex when ever you’re going through mental health struggles my advice is to get help, talk to your friends, if not talk to a therapist it will help.
If you read this Alex, I'd be very thankful, and if not, at least I'll have shared how I feel right now.
Tonight I'm leaving my home country to pursue my film studies at university, but it already feels haunting to leave what I have known for now 19 years of my life. I'm currently feeling heartbroken because of all my struggles trying to be a sociable person (it's not easy to try to socialise when one person is an introvert, has anger issues, no natural social skills, and is the only one in his social circle with interest in film and classic literature). Your video has helped me feel like I'm not the only one who feels alone.
I didn't have the problems you had when it comes to parents, but I do resonate with "Batman being my only friend" thing, because it's only through art and through movies that I feel a bit calmer with myself. I always feel scared and insecure to talk about and express my love for film, even around cultivated people, because I always have felt alone in that regard ; for example, I went to watch Oppenheimer THREE TIMES AT THE MOVIE THEATRE because I absolutely love historical dramas and especially one so study-able like this (and the fact that Christopher Nolan wrote and directed it is already a big thing on its own).
This very night, it's the first time I ever felt lonely in my life, because I've said goodbye to my friends and my teachers (who supported me in my film dreams). I don't know how to finish my story, but I want to share how I genuinely felt. Now, I just have to finish packing, and if I have the time, maybe I'll watch a movie before going to the airport.
Thank you for reading.
dude how is it going? hope you are happy and healthy at university? hows the new country? missing your family or friends?
@@bruhmoment1761 Thanks for asking mate. It's been 8 months now, and there's been highs and lows, of course.
I rarely felt homesick, actually. In fact, this place feels like home, and I socialised more in one year than when I lived with my parents.
I can finally go run on the street without feeling scared of getting robbed, I breathe more easily over here at the coast of the Atlantic ocean, and I feel insanely identified with the people here ! It's been a very good restart for me, and I needed something like this. (Finding passionate people for film is hard, though. But I have to push myself to talk about my passions for reading and film.) I'm lucky to stay in touch with my parents once a week (at least).
Happiness is real, and I'm finally starting on the right foot ! There's work to be done for myself, but I'm positive !
It's near the end of june 2024. It's been a silent rollercoaster in retrospective. Why ? Well, I felt discouraged by my relationship with my film classmates.
I lost hope for my dreams of filmmaking while knowing I was in for a terrifying fact : making art that pleases someone else comes with a price, my own feelings and life. I lost the need and want to share my ideas because I lost hope on expressing myself through art, and I am trying to express my emotions through speech at the same time I tell myself to not do it for fear of opening up.
It made me te-think what I want to do with my life. If not filmmaking (at least, as a director), then what else ? What about being vulnerable when I stopped wanting to express myself in an overly sentimental way like a teen ? That's the difficult part, because I was melodramatic in retrospect and according to my point of view.
I'm 20, happy to have time to think about what I can do with the studies I'm lucky to go through, and wanting one thing now : not to work, but to merely fall in love with a girl in order to feel real and private intimacy. I have the summer and the rest of the year to think.
As someone who's just finished university and has been recovering from chronic illness and mental health struggles while trying to write screenplays and teach myself editing... this hits hard as fuck
I have nothing special or intelligent to say. I can only say that I appreciate your work so much and that I am proud to be your fan and to know this community. you're the best
I've been watching this channel ever since I stumbled upon "Batman does not kill". I absolutely love your script writing, editing and the level of expression you possess. I admire your genuine passion for superheroes which act as a beacon of hope not only for the fictional people in distress but also us, the audience. Keep going man! I'm with ya all the way!
thank you. this video gives me hope for the future of not only cinema and storytelling, but what it's all about... being a better human in this limited amount of time we all have with each other. thank you once again