Two Americas: Adults with autism reflect on daily challenges

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  • Опубликовано: 26 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 109

  • @Cocoa_Kalypso
    @Cocoa_Kalypso 2 года назад +42

    I was literally diagnosed with adhd and asd this morning. I waited 26 years for an explanation for my struggles socially and academically. My parents are so apologetic now for dismissing me and my needs cause in reality, I could've thrived more with a early diagnosis. But it is what it is

  • @aaronharris5069
    @aaronharris5069 Год назад +37

    41, autistic, and college graduate. I live on my own, and hold a part time job. It wasn't an easy road. I have been fired from jobs, dropped out of college, lived in a group home, and was told at age 3 to be institutionalized. I am much happier now, but the journey was rather exhausting.

    • @neonrays28
      @neonrays28 Год назад +8

      In glad you're happy and I hope your journey continues to be easy.

  • @dixontrina3453
    @dixontrina3453 2 года назад +91

    I’m a Military Brat so “Camouflage” is the first thing that came to mind.
    I agree, Masking is very real, emotionally and physically draining
    causes so much anxiety.

  • @imkrisyoung
    @imkrisyoung 2 года назад +89

    I’m a Black autistic woman. I was diagnosed when I was around 3 years old, which was very rare in the early 90s for someone of my race and gender.
    I’ve decided to go the route of self employment. I’m starting my career as a writer and artist. I believe that every single autistic person should be taught autonomy and self determination rather than how to conform to neurotypical society.

    • @Balmung5150
      @Balmung5150 2 года назад +8

      That is very awesome Kris. I wish you all wealth and success a person can receive.

    • @bubblybubbles4023
      @bubblybubbles4023 Год назад +16

      I'm a black woman with autism and it's been hard. Most people don't understand and will hold you to the same standards as a neurotypical person. Also when you have difficulty navigating social situations people will take advantage of you in every and any way you can think of.

    • @mochawitch
      @mochawitch 9 месяцев назад

      Me too ❤

  • @shadowfox933
    @shadowfox933 3 года назад +93

    It is absolutely wonderful that this story was run, so please don't take any of this too harshly. I just want to list a few points you may be able to explore in greater depth in the future.
    Tl;dr for this is "do some digging into camouflaging."
    First, the big one. I really do think it would be worth talking more about "camouflaging" or, as we refer to it more often, "masking" (both terms are used). This is the biggest reason that many of us with lower external support needs (side note that "functioning" labels can be problematic depending on who you ask) would go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. Yes, women do it much more often, but men are also fully capable of it. I just think this entire topic is worth exploring and writing on further at some point, even if just for the sake of the education of the general public.
    Tl;dr for this point is "show what happens when we interact with other autistic people."
    For a lot of us who are of average (or higher than average) intelligence, social life can still be just as difficult. This might be because we tend to look at everything in some form of "cause and effect" style. For example, most of the time, we don't really care how your morning is going at the time clock in the hour you've been awake. It isn't because other people aren't important, it's because that type of information usually has no effect on anything we're doing. We would much rather have a deep conversation about what you enjoy in life, and we might try to skip the small talk altogether. This can come off as intrusive or otherwise rude (or so I've been told) if we haven't interacted with you, but in reality, it's just how we relate to other people.
    The last thing I'll mention here is that some people don't look at autism as a disability at all. Not something I have a lot to say on, I just wanted to let you know.
    If any of you wonderful people actually took the time to read all of that, thank you and I hope you have an excellent day :)

  • @lindaclairesartori
    @lindaclairesartori 2 года назад +71

    "1 in 54" "children" turn into adults, you know.

    • @rahbeeuh
      @rahbeeuh 2 года назад +21

      They think we disappear or are "cured" as adults. 😂😭

    • @LifewithBreanna_
      @LifewithBreanna_ Год назад +1

      1 in 44 to date

    • @carissaetlora
      @carissaetlora 9 месяцев назад

      Yep!!!!!

    • @blue_wolfproductions12
      @blue_wolfproductions12 2 месяца назад +1

      @@rahbeeuhIkr smh 🤦🏾‍♂️

    • @rahbeeuh
      @rahbeeuh 2 месяца назад

      @@blue_wolfproductions12 unfortunately so smh

  • @michaelbark3017
    @michaelbark3017 2 года назад +69

    My daughter's have autism I just found out at age 39 I have autism myself recently. I knew something wasn't right in my communication and how I speak the way my brain processes information. I love to write but it's difficult to write a proper sentence and when people speak I hear what is being said but I miss something or get wrong meaning etc My parents who are deceased had mental issues but I never got tested I'm half native american and there is alot of mental diseases that hit our communities that don't get tested for. I'm happy to have found what is wrong and how to fix it but it's devastating to see what could of been in my past or where I could be today. I have alot of educating myself to do but I'll get there

    • @dixontrina3453
      @dixontrina3453 2 года назад +5

      It’s never to late

    • @saramatthews7159
      @saramatthews7159 2 года назад +4

      Could you please tell me how you went about getting tested...I am 37 and was always scared it's too late to get tested.

    • @donkeeefarms3795
      @donkeeefarms3795 2 года назад

      Welcome to the club. I know what you mean. I’ve been down this autistic rabbit hole for over two years now. I keep thinking I wish I had known when younger. Studying autism is my new special interest.

    • @donkeeefarms3795
      @donkeeefarms3795 2 года назад +3

      @@saramatthews7159 some universities that teach psychology post doctoral programs offer community clinics that test. It’s usually based on income too. It’s one option.

  • @Anthony_Aú.GreenParty
    @Anthony_Aú.GreenParty 2 года назад +71

    We call it "masking". 😊

    • @taylorsmith9629
      @taylorsmith9629 2 года назад

      We need to come up with a new term post Covid

  • @jnieswartz4878
    @jnieswartz4878 2 года назад +14

    I wish nothing but the best n happiest life for patrina. She’s is a wonderful and sweet women. My daughter is autistic and I hope she’s treated equally as her peers.

  • @tangerinefizz11
    @tangerinefizz11 2 года назад +35

    I'm on the spectrum, and I didn't know that it was legal to pay disabled people less than minimum wage. Now I'm pissed off!

    • @youtubingbabs
      @youtubingbabs 6 месяцев назад +1

      Yeah. It's really nauseating.

  • @Scorch1028
    @Scorch1028 2 года назад +11

    There definitely are two Americas -- one for neurotypicals, and the other for people on the Autism Spectrum.

  • @kellyk6652
    @kellyk6652 2 года назад +20

    We don't call it camouflaging. We call it masking. We're wearing masks.

  • @IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS
    @IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS 2 года назад +47

    As someone who passes at first and who was a successful professional (attorney), I can tell you that neurotypical people read into each others’ communication all of the time. That’s not something I do. What people say is taken at face value. When people are indirect I’m going to miss some of what they’re trying to communicate, which might encompass their main reason for communicating. Because I’m bright, people often think when I miss what they’re saying, my intent must be negative and so they infer negative intent. They do this because they generally do that to everyone who pays no mind to their communications. (I don’t think neurotypicals are super aware of how indirect they are, but I can’t really say because that’s not my experience. It’s like the part of my brain that should know how to do indirect communication just isn’t functioning.)
    So, the following labels might get applied to me while I’m usually clueless I’m being negatively assess: insensitive, narcissistic, uncaring, gaslighter, and with partners, who drag all of their childhood issues into relationship, it can mean them feeling unloved and thinking that I am intentionally hurting them (albeit passive aggressively). Then, people, who say they love you and think you love them, start scouring your behavior for more proof of whatever they’ve decided you are doing.
    Sometimes I realise I’m miscuing, or I see someone is upset with me and I don’t understand why, and my attempts to clarify our exchanges are generally considered suspect, manipulative because “surely” I-this very bright person-know what someone is saying. I mean, they were being obvious with me. No not obvious to me, and no, no I do not understand what the person has said. I wouldn’t try to check it out if I understood.
    I am entirely clueless how much actually goes over my head and how much I catch as being “something’s wrong here.” I used to try to check everything out that felt off in any way but most neurotypicals, either afraid of conflict or thinking me disingenuous, will tell me that there was nothing wrong or left undone with our communication and/or won’t clarify my questions if they think it will mean delivering an outright criticism or make them feel like they’re going off as not a nice person. This doesn’t usually end well as you might imagine. All I want to know is what was meant by the communication so that I can continue to build a good relationship.
    I also am generally not able to see micro-expressions and my ability to recognise the meaning of expressions is limited. The comment about the emojis really made me laugh.
    As you might imagine, just this one aspect of autistic/neurotypical interaction is EXHAUSTING. It’s never ending. Most of us autistics wish we lived in a world where people were direct and didn’t lie. We often (maybe… hard to be sure) pick up on your white lying and don’t know what to make of it. It confuses us in conversation. Meanwhile, neurotypicals seem to handle that seemlessly.

    • @IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS
      @IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS 2 года назад +8

      I thought I’d mention that it’s actually easier for me to pick up on strangers not being direct than people I know well (for some people who are autistic it’s the opposite). And being an attorney/mediator I could question people and tease out the meaning of their communications and their intent because it was necessary to do a good job and people went along because, well, I was in the lead as the professional. Fortunately, I knew how to explore that.
      But in one’s social life, not many people want you to behave like an attorney or mediator or even a therapist just so you can be better understood. Sometimes I get the sense that Neurotypicals are trying to hide who they are and maybe they are. Maybe they need to keep part of themselves to themselves and each has a different amount they keep below the surface like an iceberg. That’s difficult for me to fathom. Just as it’s difficult for me to contemplate that neurotypicals spend time during the day without thoughts. That blows my mind… how does someone not have constant dialog in their head?

    • @stjeep
      @stjeep 2 года назад +2

      @@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS i dont think that last part is true

    • @hufficag
      @hufficag 2 года назад +2

      Thanks, good summary of the issues faced. I think a good strategy is to be absent from the office most of the time, come in occasionally, smile, say good morning, brew your coffee, and then leave and go about your daily work. Leave the office incest to the neurotypicals, power plays and hidden messages etc. I think a good strategy for communication is to use text messages. I've noticed that very social very chatty people get tired extremely quickly from using text messaging to discuss anything. After like 2 minutes they check "Look Nick, I don't have all day, I've got to get going." But that's why we have cellphones, we can be texting all day long discussing an issue, while in the taxi, while on the train, while in the elevator or grocery store.

  • @mesholberatsonallibi
    @mesholberatsonallibi 2 года назад +11

    i’m possibly autistic and she’s spot on i litterly used to think as a kid “they must have a special book”

  • @JimmyJaxJellyStax
    @JimmyJaxJellyStax 2 года назад +17

    Just a huge stigma overall for families to strongly discourage their kids, teens and "especially" adults to not seek out a potential diagnosis for any higher functioning / less externally obvious autism but the individual is frankly aware...maybe extremely aware actually.

    • @soniamo4139
      @soniamo4139 2 года назад

      @Beatrix In Christ Stop trying to exploit desperate people by getting them to buy snake oil. No amount of herbal supplements fixes developmental issues.

  • @melodyofamaya5418
    @melodyofamaya5418 2 года назад +10

    I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 30. Autism at 31. I wish i was diagnosed as a child.

    • @rahbeeuh
      @rahbeeuh 2 года назад

      I have both conditions as well. Was diagnosed with ADHD in my late teens and with autism a few weeks ago.

  • @kylebarvel
    @kylebarvel 9 месяцев назад +3

    Even the law does not give a fair chance for Autistic people. I have ASD and hearing that they are allowed to be paid below minimum wage just makes me want to end everything and not suffer anymore. I am exhausted and I don't want to play Dark Souls IV in real life.

  • @dhrlh
    @dhrlh Год назад +3

    This is on the insurance companies for not covering the cost of diagnosis.

  • @Bozewani
    @Bozewani 2 года назад +10

    i survived high school institutional ableism healing from that I ended up majoring in human rights law in QUeens Univeristy belfast if you ever experienced it you will know why

  • @puppiesrlife
    @puppiesrlife 2 года назад +4

    I've felt like something has been wrong with me for a long time and can relate to a lot of it, but with the emoji thing, is that kind of thing always present? I'm someone that can tell what the meanings are so it's always things like that that keep me fully on board of having it. Idk what to think anymore.

  • @PaulaLJones
    @PaulaLJones Год назад +1

    What a great piece, thank you for sharing this!

  • @DRBG444
    @DRBG444 Месяц назад

    Excellent reporting, thank you

  • @JmasterPullmizter
    @JmasterPullmizter 2 года назад +14

    Camouflage???
    We ppl call it Masking.

    • @hsuehhs1
      @hsuehhs1 7 месяцев назад

      What does that have to with Autism?!

  • @breannapiscitelli3941
    @breannapiscitelli3941 Год назад +1

    I always thought I was someone with every diagnosis in the book. (legit my medical file is a book) and I’m actually starting to think it might not be something like that at all and that I might just have autism. The reason why I feel this way is I’ve never gotten along with people nor have I really wanted to. I always just wanted to please my parents who are very social people, but I absolutely hate interacting with other people. I constantly get offended and offend people. I have a hard time understanding jokes, as well as just general communication. I am very literal and I don’t understand people who are not. For the longest time I just thought I was bad with people, but I think that might be part of having autism. I also used to stem very heavily when I was a child and I still do it now if I am not paying attention. I used to rock in a rocking chair or on my Rockinghorse when I was younger for hours. And when I mean for hours I mean, I would do it for like 5+ hours as a child. I would do it until I was asked to stop basically. I had no desire to interact with other children, but I tended to be pretty good at being polite. I also have an issue with overstimulation as I know it. I just used to think I was sensitive. I actually thought that I was psychic at one point, because lights and sounds and loud noises or annoying. Noises are magnified to me. Or at least they feel like they are especially ones that are annoying. if there are too many of these annoying things, I get incredibly irritable to the point where I can’t even function or think. It’s actually been why I’ve never been able to hold down a job. But I genuinely thought until probably the past two years that this was my fault, and that I just need to try harder and it will go away. What I’m realizing is I probably should get a diagnosis so that I could get the help. I would need an a job so I could succeed. I have no education except for high school, but I am incredibly talented with building 3-D models and blueprints especially with architecture. I thought this to myself and I would love to pursue a career in architecture someday. I did have a 504 in school, but it wasn’t for autism it was for ADHD. I think I do also have ADHD I get so distracted by little things that I will lose time. I actually was failing in school until I had my 504 because I couldn’t complete assignments or tests in the same amount of time or in the same room as other children. I was born in 1994 and I’m female. I suspect this is why I’ve never gotten a diagnosis. Also, my parents were very afraid to get me diagnosed because I think it was something that was very shameful for a parent back then. I don’t really know how to go about getting a diagnosis now though. I’ve actually tried in the past year and every therapist I talk to say I cannot have autism because I talk too much. It’s incredibly debilitating being able to actually mask, because I am so good at it that sometimes I forget who I am. I got a lot of crap for being how I am growing up and have changed a lot about myself. The issue is is I am a very unhappy person I used to be a very happy child until I was told everything I stood for and did was wrong. I became very self-conscious to the point where I have constant meltdowns now over small things. I’m still trying to figure out how to get back into the world but I have no idea how at this point.

  • @CoolhandLukeSkywalkr
    @CoolhandLukeSkywalkr 2 года назад +8

    White males can go undiagnosed for aspergers too. But I have nothing but respect for my fellow aspies. Whether or not you are trying to fit in or even if you have given up and you are a recluse, you're going to be exhausted most of the time.

    • @briennethebrave
      @briennethebrave 2 года назад +24

      of course they can. but the point still stands that the majority of unidentified ASD people are non white and non male and that has a huge impact on quality of life.

    • @rahbeeuh
      @rahbeeuh 2 года назад

      That A word you used is an outdated term. Nothing wrong with saying autistic person

  • @tenyaayers5231
    @tenyaayers5231 2 года назад +8

    My daughter is autistic my older brother is autistic I wonder if I’m autistic because of the way I feel jus different from everybody and I feel like people don’t understand me depression anxiety suicidal thoughts not fitting in socially

    • @te-4709
      @te-4709 2 года назад +2

      Jesus says to day come to me this es who are weary and I will give you rest come to christ today you never have to be alone again

    • @ms.porsche3676
      @ms.porsche3676 13 дней назад

      Same I was questioning myself to because I remember when I was 12 that I would have meltdowns n cry for more than a hour.

  • @emiliobello2538
    @emiliobello2538 2 года назад +4

    Daily challenges

  • @Floridamangaming729
    @Floridamangaming729 2 года назад +20

    Personally i have very high functioning autism. makes me wonder whether its a disability or not. i plan on making content that talks about my...unpopular opinions. i think my perspective and stuff will make me stand out from other commentary channels and will be very effective. My main goal is to be as genuine as possible. No script, No fancy editing, none of that nonsense. just completely unfiltered autistic rants. Whether there offensive or not is irrelevant. even if it's bigoted i dont care. im tired of censorship and im tired of this weakness the american people have right now. but that's something i will make a video on. Anyways i hope im successful.

    • @cc1009
      @cc1009 2 года назад

      When you say "benefit" do you mean like how you can think of many different things that others wouldn't think of. I have it too and I thought of that as well, although I question whether the benefits outweigh the negatives?

    • @ettab.7838
      @ettab.7838 2 года назад +1

      Hey! Please do the videos!

    • @JohnDoe-ef3wo
      @JohnDoe-ef3wo 2 года назад

      I'd love to see your content if you make it. 👍

    • @lilibaby696
      @lilibaby696 6 месяцев назад

      All I see are gaming videos on your channel. Do you have another channel in which you share your opinions?

  • @sacredspacecoaching2543
    @sacredspacecoaching2543 2 года назад +5

    So much more to be done to level the playing field.

  • @rickynorris1212
    @rickynorris1212 Год назад +1

    Hard out here for us

  • @finnius_winnius2508
    @finnius_winnius2508 2 года назад +12

    Functioning labels don’t exist. For gods sake.

    • @finnius_winnius2508
      @finnius_winnius2508 2 года назад

      @PRISTINE JOEL are you trying to ay that HERBS A LITERAL HERB is “curing” or “managing” his autism? Why did you feel the need to respond to my comment.

    • @lalaland2107
      @lalaland2107 2 года назад

      Do people use other labels or did they stop using labels altogether?

    • @finnius_winnius2508
      @finnius_winnius2508 2 года назад

      @@lalaland2107 no labels because labels are not needed

    • @finnius_winnius2508
      @finnius_winnius2508 2 года назад +1

      @@lalaland2107 I mean I guess non vocal but thats basically alo

    • @finnius_winnius2508
      @finnius_winnius2508 2 года назад

      @PRISTINE JOEL this is disgusting 🤩

  • @ethieanmcpherson3050
    @ethieanmcpherson3050 2 года назад +2

    The devil is people

  • @authordanplouff
    @authordanplouff 3 года назад +2

    Thanks... Good job. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

  • @ethieanmcpherson3050
    @ethieanmcpherson3050 2 года назад

    Polio was made in a lab

  • @GenVNight
    @GenVNight 6 месяцев назад +1

    i have NEVER HEARD ANYONE refer to it as camoflauging. the clinical term is MASKING.

  • @ANewJerusalem777
    @ANewJerusalem777 11 месяцев назад +2

    Gender bias in diagnosing. Sad.

  • @iliyakurmi3269
    @iliyakurmi3269 2 года назад +3

    I don't really know how to thank you Dr odija on RUclips for making me to live like my fellow mates and for curing me from diabetes.... thank you so much may God always strengthen you and your work..

  • @jamilaumarahmed8273
    @jamilaumarahmed8273 2 года назад +3

    Great experience doc, you are a God'sent dr odija on RUclips, keep up the good work, I am completely free from HIV ..

  • @taylordent206
    @taylordent206 2 года назад

    I'm 18 who has autism

  • @MalinoisDoodleMischief
    @MalinoisDoodleMischief 5 месяцев назад

    The emphasis on whether someone’s diagnosis was missed at a young age or not is almost pointless if autistic adults are treated like a liability and like a burden in this country still. And there is still no adequate help to any race color or creed. As a kid there is lots of help, and yes more white kids did get diagnosed. But I am an example of a white make not getting diagnosed. I always got in trouble at school, and had to go get evaluated to go back. And I’m the 90’s they misdiagnosed many autists with adhd or “borderline adhd” which got the parent out of having to medicate their child. This world is absolutely cruel to all autistic people. But 1/3 the population doesn’t want to stop being abusive toward others, 1/3 doesn’t know any better, and 1/3 are deliberately using autists and their psychology against them. Ironically even through school I was always more accepted socially by the other race for whatever reason. I was an outsider to my own race because I was so different and weird. It sucks that still no one talks about how nastily we are treated by the general population for absolutely no reason as an adult. And how employers will purposefully run us in to the ground over firing us. Or just because they don’t like us and see themselves as superior. I appreciate autistic adults being recognized for these 6 minutes. But I’m begging to grow cynical. Because it is obvious no one gives a crap except us who are experiencing it from this side everyday.

  • @anjachan2
    @anjachan2 2 года назад

    I think its nice made 🙂

  • @anjachan
    @anjachan Год назад

    I know most of emojis because of anime ... good tool to learn 🙃

  • @ruthrosey9220
    @ruthrosey9220 2 года назад

    Have you come across Alternative Herbal supplement on youtube, it did alot for my non verbal son who was diagnosed with Austin.

  • @JohnSmith-ze6mz
    @JohnSmith-ze6mz 2 года назад +7

    Full independent lives??? Really???? You just introduced his live in nurse????

    • @joanna0988
      @joanna0988 2 года назад +14

      She's an aide not a live in nurse.

    • @littlefarmers1861
      @littlefarmers1861 2 года назад +12

      80% of us do not work at all.

    • @monicalarose7980
      @monicalarose7980 2 года назад +2

      They did explain what they meant - he had two jobs and a roommate, sounds like he's living his life with agency along with getting some support. People can live independent healthy lives while still having support systems.

  • @nicholaslandry6367
    @nicholaslandry6367 2 года назад +4

    "Disability first language" in place of the commonly used identity first language especially with the emphasis on "Disability" feels kinda messed up js

  • @mochawitch
    @mochawitch 9 месяцев назад

    This is me... Sighs 🥺

  • @Carolina-ef3uy
    @Carolina-ef3uy Год назад +1

    Sorry this isn’t a racial thing. I’m a white woman who suffers through the same issues and have never been diagnosed.

    • @WestieKatie
      @WestieKatie Год назад +2

      Two things can be true at the same time. Doesn’t give you the right to invalidate her experience.

    • @Carolina-ef3uy
      @Carolina-ef3uy Год назад +1

      @@WestieKatie
      Hi Katie, or is it Karen? Perhaps you need to learn how to interpret things a little better. A class in reading comprehension would be good.
      I didn’t say her experience isn’t valid, what I said is that “this isn’t a racial thing”… and it isn’t. Those were my exact words VERBATIM, you can check🙄 It would be a valid thing to say women in general are under diagnosed, because the disorder presents itself differently in women then in men, and women are better at masking. I study psychology, work with autistic people and have Asperger’s myself, but thanks for your input! I sincerely hope attacking me made you feel superior in some way and that you’ve done your social justice warrior thing for the day 🥰

    • @WestieKatie
      @WestieKatie Год назад

      @@Carolina-ef3uy hi snot bag. Facough

    • @saramatthews7159
      @saramatthews7159 10 месяцев назад

      Please do not invalidate her experience. You being a white woman doesn't take away from the fact that black girls/women are the most overlooked for these disorders over ANY demographic of people in our society.

  • @charlottestallion7513
    @charlottestallion7513 2 года назад

    Searching for a solution for my child 4years old and couldn't talk I felt really said and doctor's said it's autism disorder but glory be to God I finally found something that worked for him on RUclips Dr Isibor Alternative Herbal Healing .

    • @lastv4lentines
      @lastv4lentines 2 года назад

      thats the stupidest thing I've ever heard tbh. sounds like one of those fake " autism cure" things.