Ian Wright investigates the effects of growing up in a psychologically abusive & violent home - BBC
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- Опубликовано: 6 май 2021
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Watch the BBC first on iPlayer 👉 bbc.in/iPlayer-Home Ian Wright grew up in a violent home. In this powerful clip, he meets others who lived with similar experiences of domestic abuse as children.
Organisations offering help and support for issues raised in Ian Wright: Home Truths: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/arti...
Ian Wright: Home Truths / Streaming Now / BBC iPlayer 👉 bbc.in/3eSKRgs
Ian Wright: Home Truths / Series 1 Episode 1 / BBC iPlayer
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It's so sad what children go through behind closed doors much Respect Ian for bringing this to the media.
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My parents are awful
I experienced the same thing as a child and at 36 I’m still experiencing the impact of the constant fear of him killing my mom. Counseling is helping and I’m working to heal the little girl in me.
Hugs. Same.
But in my case my dad and his family was involved in torturing mom . But then also my mom says its family . I want to leave this so called family but she has like tied me with her. 😭😭😭. I hate everyone here , I want to leave but I can't
I developed PTSD from growing up in a violent home. Had it from both parents.
Me too. And also depression and anxiety. I absolutely recommend therapy. ❤
that's awful, I hope you're able to get treatment and heal. You deserve health and happiness.
Me too but worse I took abuse into my own family. It took me a long time to work out I was the problem. I'm rebuilding now 10 years. I'm a single parent and I have 4 children. We have an excellent relationship and a unbreakable bond but it's been tough and I learn far more from them than I teach them.
i dont like using the term, i think reffering to myself that way detracts from people in war. i dont like seeing myself as scared. but my therpist uses it. either way, it describes a brocken human.
Same
This film made me cry, and made me realise alot about me and my childhood.
Same. I can only wish that you meet those who deserve you, bring out the best in you, and help you resolve what you grew up with x
I remeber physical abuse but the mental abuse was worst
anyone who abuses a child, in any way, is scum. You're so, so much better than them and you deserve to heal and live free of that influence.
I'm a survivor of chronic physical abuse by my mother as a child. My father just drank and turned a blind eye. The road to recovery is long but worth it.
God . Sorry to hear that . I don't understand why you weren't taken into care away from your mother? And your dads pathetic for turning a blind eye, why didn't he do something to stop the abuse ? He should of rang the police and put a stop to the abuse
30 years later the scars remain.
This is really interesting. My sister & I grew up in a violent home. I left home at 15. She was not able to. She was 62 last year and killed herself, and the suicide note mentioned the effects of her terrible upbringing. Feel for you man. We have a saying in New Zealand ...Kia Kaha...means ...stay strong.
That is so sad, I've had severe depression because of my childhood abuse too snd I have so much empathy for her and everyone that has experienced that type of cruelty. Kia Kaha.❤
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@@honeybunch5765 ❤
So sorry to hear this and to see that even all the years that has passed and it was still with her. Sorry for your loss.
I’m 62 also. I fight killing my self every day. Please know it is not a selfish act. She truly thought it would be better if she was gone.
Two hours before this video popped up on my feed I was thinking about how my childhood abuse has followed me & affected me through my entire adult life. And I thought how unfair. And I thought no one else understands me. Thank you everyone in this video. I can relate to every word and I see others are able to relate to my pain
I also grew up in a very abusive and violent home. It took me years of therapy. I was diagnosed with PTDS, depression. I have horrible panic attacks.
My mom was physically and verbally abused by dad. My mom took it out on my sister and I. I was reading the newspaper, all of a sudden my mom started to cuss and slap me. My dad once beat me so bad because my sister told him I stole money from him to give my mom. Home was bad.
I always thought that I was the only one going through abuse, until I became an adult and friends started to talk about how abusive their parents were.
My advise: please seek therapy. It absolutely helps.
I really am so sorry to hear that, that story really hurt to read and never forget you have a voice even if it just RUclips
@@freddysw , ❤❤❤❤
Yes. Therapy helped a lot. But it seems my mom and dad do not like to talk about this.
When you do not know better, you cannot do better. My parents also came from very abusive home.
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You said it all...
HOME was bad the one place you should feel safe.
You also realize as you get older, that you can not relate to others because they simply grew up in a completely different environment.
I can't even imagine what it is to be a child and be hugged and loved. And you can not tell others who dont know it understand, then they look at you as damaged goods. Its insidious what these parents do. I still can not understand why have children? So you can dominate something?
Then you suddenly wake up an adultrelize you dont know what relationships are supposed to be like, and then realize the damage is done and it will go w you where ever you go. I'm so sorry you had this type of trauma as well....no child should ever endure any type of abuse. Thank you for sharing.
@@jenmar9428 not an excuse to pass the abuse down. You then know its doubly wrong if it happened to you and then you pass that on to your children!?!?
I can't imagine what people ho through when they have to live like this
If you can't imagine it then don't try
I am a child raised like this. I am 62 years old. I have never had one day of true happiness or contentment.
It would take to long to explain what I went through. My life was taken by a stepfather who hated me. My mother hated me as well. This pain never leaves.
I’m so sorry you have suffered so. I hope you can, even for a moment, drop your pain and pick up happiness or peace of mind.
d. I have never had one day of true happiness or contentment - oof, that hit hard, thats me too. my life is a ruin, dunno all the factors, but my feeling o worth, joy, reasons for life , ever really existed. im 38.
Well just nice to see that Ian has a job that help people who went their this,when Ian was young.
It had a huge impact on my life, I had a lot to work through. It made me not only mentally ill but also physically. My mom also took her abuse out on me, I never want to go back there ever again.
my mom did too
Stay strong y’all ❤️
Iv a mountain of respect for Ian Wright.
I knew my spirit resonated with Ian for a reason
"Knowing there are other make me feel lighter" exactly. Wish I could watch this tonight but can't stream in here where I am
Physical and mental abuse for me and my siblings. My Father was the worst, but my Mother joined in occasionally. All of us have scarred psyches many years later.
Being hit was something you thought was just allowed, but I wish I’d phoned Childline on my dad. He punched me on one side of my face and I was near the wall, so my head battered off the wall, he knocked me out and when I woke up, I was vomiting from the pain. I couldn’t go to school as I had a black eye and jaw, and the worst headache. I didn’t cry when he died at 48, i wasn’t sad at all. I just thought ‘we’re free’.
I am a Liverpool fan. I just love Ian Wright his attitude and passion. Keep up your brilliant work Wrighty.
I know how he feels I grew up in domestic violence household, it still gets under my skin when no one did anything about it. (My dad abusing my mom and later my brother and myself.)
I didn't realize how serious it was and I'm so sorry for all the children that have to go through such pain it's heartbreaking. But I bet when the kids make it big the parents are their best of friends. Children are not to blame for bad relationships, they are the innocent ones. God will surely punish those who have no heart, repent and ask for forgiveness.
I think the emotional abuse from a family member is the most damning to a child, at least it was for me. It was not my parents that were abusing me, but my maternal grandmother would hand out the emotional abuse and was a denier until her last breath. The lasting effects of the type of torture are long-lasting. I always fretted going to see my grandparent, even if I truly loved my grandfather!!
People underestimate psychological abuse and mind games, it can break you mentally
I can't begin to say how much this spoke to my wife Esther and I, the most amazing thing is, the day when my wife(before we was married) was fleeing her abusive partner in 2005,, she saw Ian in a car, and he stopped to wave her on,with his big grin, that was the turning point and after that she never went back,but still had to face three murder trails down to her ex, threatening her, with the knowledge of someone he said he killed,that he would do the same to her.. she faced her Goliath and now is free.. we still work through a life time of abuse and neglect from our owns parents, but we are grateful for the life we have and long to help others, to share and make the burdens a little lighter and easier to carry and one day, see them fall away,but thanks Ian and everyone else for being brave,open and honest!
Love
Daniel Esther and Faith
XxX
Bless you Ian. Keep moving forwards and always remember who YOU are, not what those who hurt you said you were and caused temporary changes in you
So emotional watching Wrighty’s last appearance on MOTD last night & hearing how much the show meant to him because as I was watching I remembered this documentary when he said his disgusting stepdad used to make him face the wall on a Saturday night when he was so excited to watch it. Massive respect Wrighty, absolute living legend. The way you have lived your adult life after your terrible childhood is truly inspiring ❤
I am still living at home and experience emotional abuse on nearly a daily basis from my parents. It is mostly my mum and consists of name calling and isolation. I have also been physically hurt by her before on a number of occasions, I’ve been afraid to speak out about it until now.
I'm in a similar situation. Thank you for speaking out.
@@End-Result I’m so sorry you have to experience abuse. It never gets easy and I cannot wait until I am able to move out.
Ian Wright the legend . I went through the domestic abuse and violence at the hands of yardie wannabes Carribbean family in st Paul's Bristol .I also lived with a white racist family in Bournemouth . Child abuse and racism was rife in the care system I went from top school boy footballer to drug addiction and fell in to prison .IV been the victim of child abuse domestic violence and IV also been the aggressor in domestic violence .I grew up in a racist foster care system abused and scared I didn't have a dad or mum due to there crack addiction .I'm now 38 and suffer with complex PTSD .
Are u in therapy?
This is reallly good, helps to change lives
I as well grew up in a violent home. I left home on my own since 17. I was beaten everyday and verbally abused. It was horrible and to this day I can't be around.
It's always there.
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Hold on in there Ian love you ❤️💯❤️
When I was a very young child, I distinctly remember witnessing violent altercations between my parents. One particular Christmas , there was a severely intense moment, they were practically nose to nose and one of them was holding a kitchen knife... I am not sure whether it is just the psychological part of my brain protecting me, but I cannot remember to this day which of them was holding the knife !
Some make it out the cycle,
Some don't.
We hear through 100s of thousands of videos via online media that children are better off with bio - family home than in the government run care homes...... healing the PAST traumas . We hear that past violence has been changing over the last many years of abuse.... to a much better place for children and adults since ' the lock down film ' started, by sharing these kind of videos is actually are the best way..... understanding the pleasure and the pains . What an amazing Mr Wright for sharing ! Keeping away from NSPCC
When I was ten I was playing table tennis in the hall and the bat came out of my hand . That cost me six straps with my trousers and pants down . After receiving thee of the six I told my father I could not breathe as the pain was so intense and said he will have a cup of tea and then carry on with the three remaining, I love my father and mother and brothers so much but if I won the lottery I would demolish that house were I lived , I’m sixty six and my parents have past , they did wrong but I forgive them , I have to ❤️😢
He's a bit of a living legend is our Ian. Highlights this AND all of the sickening abuse given to him on antisocial media, and still comes up trumps, on top of being a footballing icon. A top fella and no mistake
Well, this hits home for me. Except, it was more drugs and alcohol from my parents. I feel you Ian.
I ran away from my house at the age of 12 for one day and at the age of 14 for 2 years and 8 months because of constant mental and physical abuse by my mother. She never changed when I came back. I am 40 now, have a loving wife and a successful career but the past still haunts me the years between the age of 7 and 22. I completely cut off the connection with my mother as she have malignant narcisstic personality disorder.
If the system executed domestic abusers we would have a much more beautiful society. Remove the nasty people.
I would like to see NOW the reaction of those abusers including the moms, where are they now.?
mines sitting across from me. she deflects. puts the blame on me, i called for it. honestly there is no catharsis to be had there. there is no recognising, owning, acknowledging. ever. i dint even seek aid based of that admission. im not looking to blame. we all have shit going on. but for mself internal peace, but im constantly gas lit that either, i deserved it, or it never happened in the very first place.
whether she is siting across from me doisnt help. this i probably ho it weill be till she passes. hopeing she wont be a help violent in word and behvior demented person
@@belle3055 weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee weeeeeeeeee aaaa weeeeeeeeeee
Savage, amazonian MCU savage. Wakanda forever female guard savage
Weeeeeeeeeee
🤣
And are absolutely right it still effect you.
brave man
AMEN.
AMEN.
AMEN.
How can i find this full episode. It’d help my husband so much. I’ve watched it 🥺
My friends mum was like this she would beat him sometimes he was so traumatised he used wet his bed his was loving but the things she used say when she was angry really hurt him .
She say he cannot do anything right he is useless and he believed her .He told her about Ian Wright Mum she said he is making it up Just like her son .
You're my age Ian. I grew up the same way.
Oh yeah!
The hard thing with anything like this can still be knowing whose genuine or not. Being thumped isn't the most imaginative or complex thing to think of, but it sounds completely awful. Nor is saying that your drunken parents were difficult, or that they said 'bad' things to you. Have you ever noticed that people who are often wrong can act blameless, even if they don't do such obviously bad things?
I’m wondering if anyone can tell me if you grew up this way, do you have issues with being abrasive when you don’t mean to to others or do you feel fear of abandonment with your partner?
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Sad such happenings-think spotlight ( 2015) also had somewhat happenings investigated-'think it won a oscar -saw the movie
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Domestic abuse is a generational, not a gendered, issue.
Erin Pizzey pointed this out way back in the early 1970s and feminists kicked her out of her own refuge!
Dropped way down in my estimation with the Harry and Megan interview. Not asking any searching questions.
First
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And he is qualified to do this because he is a celebrity? Remember a certain island that celebrities visited?
What are you talking about?
What are you talking about, you idiot.....he is qualified because he’s lived it. This is a program which will help many people, but there’s always some tool who has to write something negative.
Ian sold out again...smh.
How ?
@@dominicclarke3206 Throwing his black family under the bus infront for BBC.
@@o13sweetboy rubbish .exsplain?
@@o13sweetboy Ian moved on with his life he looks after all his kids .he is married he has very young mixed race children and he is happy .
@@o13sweetboy - What kind of fuckry comment is that. The man is just speaking his truth. So much badness has happened in our community and people never talk about it...as someone who is now 59 I've met so many broken people who are that way because of their family circumstances....it needs to be spoken about.
This only shows how far into the dark abyss of lost identity Ian has gone. His story is not balanced as he has never said anything about what he had done to get beaten by his mother Ian I suppose to believe he was well behaved Angel. I am not saying his step father never abused him but to throw his late mothers legacy under the bus lives he is willing to step on he neck of his own to be accepted. I noticed those who were willing to share their story are all white . That sadly didn’t wake him up . I grew with my grandparents and they only knew one way how to discipline us and it’s with the belt and it didn’t do me any harm. It made me have manners and respect to elders and the person I am today. I have a feeling Ian’s wife who have no idea of the dynamics of the back family has programmed Ian. It’s really sad that he is willing to do this to be accepted in the white world