All I can say is that the best way to avoid negative people is to give them grace because it’s clear that they’re hurting. I observe them to learn how I can be of service. If you read between the lines of their negativity, there is something to grasp and grow from.
If i see any toxic family or people, i completely cut the relationship ASAP. I only accept and look for people who will support myself and my family sincerely.
Hi, first I'm asking myself why I perceive them as "difficult" or "toxic"(maybe for someone else they are not).. Then I'm turning it around: "They are ok" and focussing on qualities in them that support this angle.
Okay just when I think you can’t out do yourself. You come out with this video. This is so powerful and so needed to be said and heard.. Keep Blessing Us with all these jewels 💎
My tactic for the past years has been to become very clear about my own value, and to respect that. Which means I avoid those people better. But also, when it comes to people I think we often attract people who are a match to who we are. So if you find yourself with people that put's you down or that makes you feel not so good in one way or another. I would not focus so much on them but focus on developing my self, raise my own energy, increase my sense of self or whatever it is that you need to do. That way you will meet better people that reflect your new abundant internal state. And in the process find the courage to leave or deal with the people who don't align with you anymore.
The trick is to keep your focus outwards at all times while simultaneously focusing 100% on yourself. Because if your focus turns inwards, chances are you are going to get stuck in negative thoughts and feelings which will prohibit you from moving forward. I'm always at my happiest when I DON'T focus on myself and when I forget myself. When I just fly like thin air.
Tom....your content has been blowing me away for quite some time now. I watch all of your videos, and they're really starting to give me more confidence as well as rewire my brain for a more successful and fulfilling life. This video was no exception. Thank You So Much for all that you do. May you and your beautiful wife continue to enjoy a truly blessed life!!!
It didn't work for me . I helped him and he climbed the career ladder . At the same time he destroyed my career . So cut the ties and struggled to build my career again.
I had problems with my toxic older sister. Even as a very young child she'd say I was evil and do what I now realise was gaslighting. I think she saw me as competition for my parents affection so she used to make up things to get me in trouble with them. They couldn't handle her - if they ever spotted and called her on her shit she'd scream and pull her hair out - so in the end they just enabled her. I often felt distanced from my own family growing up - like I was the one doing all the wrong and causing the upset, although I never knew what I'd actually done wrong. I ended up just trying to stay in my room all the time. I put up with it all until my sister's actions started affected my wife and daughter too. After a family wedding where my parents moved us all to a non-family table to appease my sister (she had a freak out the day before and didn't want me on the family table - I still don't know why) and they ignored my then 4yo daughter to the point she was in tears I realised I needed to cut ties with my sister for the good of my own family. My parents saw me as the bad guy when I did which was hard to deal with. Even now after about 5 years of not seeing my sister I still feel guilty and like I was a bad person for cutting that bond, but I couldn't let it affect my wife and daughter. I tried for 30 years but couldn't find another way.
You should not feel guilty for being forced into a position where such a decision had to be made. Being crapped on for being forced into making such a decision, that’s just the slap in the face to go along with the kick in the nuts. But that slap in the face should answer any questions you may have had still.
That what manipulative people, who know you best do. Press your buttons, even if they are not around anymore. Make you feel bad. I had a grandma who divided all family, turned the closest people against each other and her legacy lasted longer after she died. Your sister sounds like her. I am sorry. There is no need to feel guilty. Actually this is something she factored into you. Please step back and do not follow into her trap. It was her beliefe you should feel guilty, your task is to find your own belief.
It is healthy to have clear & firm boundaries. We are here to thrive and toxic relationships are an enormous burden. I too for the sake of family, etc...tried to make things work but honestly once I stepped away and stopped absorbing these energies I felt more free, more clear, more secure and more sure of myself. You have the right to pursue the healthiest Life & Relationships- indeed this is a requirement for us to realize our true potential. Sending Love ❤
You just described my life. I distance myself but they find ANYTHING to cause havoc, I'm never even around. I'm successful by my own hard work and I'm told I'm Money Hungry. I even saw a therapist because I started believing that I was the problem, I was cleared as completely normal by the Dr and was told to stay away from them. Apparently her health issues are my fault and I will never understand why. It's a hard way to live but there is no way I will allow them to control my life and how I do things that are right for me. That is their goal, to fully control your actions.
This is still my biggest struggle at the end of the day. Having to deal with toxic people I work with in particular. Some people just don't know when to turn it off or when to just go away and I have a hard time avoiding them or ignoring them. The type I run into often *insists* on trying to force whatever their views of the world are onto me or try to "fix" whatever they *think* they see wrong with me. This is a really big problem I have with know it all/controlling types who really believe it's their job on this earth to glom onto other people they think need to be more like them. Ironically, when I try to just do my own thing and work towards my goals, I get one of them stuck on me like a leech.
@@allkindsamusicchick As much time as it's worthy for you to have your own peace. Nobody's childhood dream was "I'm gonna be an asshole when I grow up" and nobody wants to be a 'nitwit', but something obviously went wrong in their life. You don't have to take it on yourself, but every human being deserves a basic respect.
I have a husband who has to be right no matter what. He doesn't learn anything new except if it concerns money. I think people should want to change otherwise you will lose your self esteem forever.
Man I really needed to hear that part about sometimes you will never convince another person that they are wrong. I've been dealing with a difficult situation where the other person keeps contradicting themselves and seems to be wilfully misunderstanding me in order to take their stress/frustration out on me. Realising that there's really nothing I can do to change them is actually quite freeing.
"If we can come at things from that perspective; of trying to understand before we try to be understood, (hoo-ey!) you're gonna find that a lot of that difficulty just goes by the wayside." -Tom Bilyeu Thank you for these extremely helpful words!
One way you can deal with difficult people is by trying to understand them The way to disengage a difficult person is to try understanding where they are coming from. I try to find their value language. A value language is what someone values most. It is what drives their decisions. For some people it is money; for others, it is power or knowledge. This not only helps me understand them but also helps them relax and become more open-minded. For example, sometimes Tanks just want to explain their opinion. If you let them talk to you, that might help them not blow up or try dominating a situation.
"The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism." --Norman Vincent Peale Sharing some love From a small RUclipsr 🤍
You made so many insightful points that resonated with me here. Especially when you talked about establishing boundaries and acknowledging the elephant in the room as a strategy for dealing with people’s passive aggression. Some of the things you spoke about I already practice, other suggestions were very helpful. Thanks!👍🏼
OMG I need this right now. I’m a caregiver to elderly people in their 90s who only speak French. The wife is insanely difficult and once she’s fuming 😡 you can expect the rest of the day to be shit
I have definitely been the difficult person in many situations, and it has taken me decades to realize layers of it and improve my internal narrative to be more positive rather than defensive. My intentions are always to spread joy, and it has been humbling and empowering to realize it is often me...and in fact, most misunderstanding and conflict in human relationships, in my experience is a combination of two different imperfect people being less than our best. I continue to work on cultivating more self awareness. I am making good progress, though a few years ago I was struck by a realization that it can take a lot longer than one might think to shift a negative thinking/toxic relationship pattern, especially if it was ingrained through many years of living unconsciously.
Grazie Gabrielle🙏 I, too, share some of your difficult journey as a recovering toxic personality. After many books and self help programs, live and recorded, I deeply desired my family members to be able to recognize what is possible. My sweet father eventually did. He was even able to keep growing spiritually on his deathbed despite his pain. I am so proud of him. And I am proud to stand with you🙏🌻🌻🌻🌻🙏🌻🌻🌻🌻
Just sit, just be and don't try to change others. Loving kindness and compassion. Profound wisdom in this video, as I have come to this position after a lot of meditation and Buddhist chanting.
When someone hits the ball in my court and i do not like the way its served, I let the ball roll by until I analyze both sides of the situation in my head first. I don't ask for other people opinion when thing go negative in anything. I play by my own values & morals and some people will never not be ignorant. We all don't have to he friends.
Really great stuff, Tom. I love that you are addressing communication in the tough situations. I love the solutions you offer and the way you articulate the necessary fluidity/process of gaining understanding, staying curious, not being defensive...
"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver." Speaking the right words to someone at the precise time is a lifesaver and is vitalizing and worth more than anything. Let's choose our words wisely to help everyone in their time of need.
One of the wa:ys to feel positive energy is to take your attention away from the negative and focus on everything that transmits positivity to you. Have a beautiful day! 💜💜💜
@Impacttheory: Tom you have had some amazing guests over the years but far and away my favorite episodes are these where you answer questions solo and allow your mind to riff. Love you guys keep up the incredible life changing work. 👍👍👍👍👍👍
So insanely impactful! “They think I’m the difficult one”… very insightful and helpful to turn it around. Trying to be RIGHT vs trying to UNDERSTAND and finding the common goal. I will be sharing this with everyone!
Genius! This speaks so directly to how our family communicates.. And helps me recognize my reactions Thank you Tom. I appreciate the insight and how I can apply
I really love that there is no soundtrack on these, btw. :) Thanks for another great session. Saffolding of the conversation is such a valuable concept to keep in mind as we navigate our various relationships.
It's kind of hard to just sit with someone when they are berating you. I have a friend who is born into a mafia family and on top of that is narcissistic. This guy has an incredible ability to not only dominate people, but also to intimidate and manipulate just about anyone, literally. I admire and respect Tom, but I doubt he would last long mentally in the presence of my friend. For now i'll continue watching his video.
Narcissistic personality disorder is real. They can’t be reasoned with because they hate themselves and others and consistent lying is how they communicate.
@@Kookka_ Exactly, some people with certain personality disorders (such as narcissism) can't be reasoned with. Also with narcissists, its like they sought us out to be an enemy before we did anything right or wrong, damned if u do damned if you don’t.
Hang in there, I’m doing the same thing. It’s not easy but I know distancing myself from their toxicity is healthier than trying to change them. You can do it too!!!
You are way more compassionate than I am. When I've been done...obnoxiously...one too many times...I wish them 'nothing' good and I want to get as far away from them as possible. At that point...the joy card had already been played, and empathy on my end...is pretty near void. Who has time for these people? They're jerks! Unfortunate, but.....
And, in order to have a fair discussion, you can agree to take a ‘time-out.’ This says that more understanding needs to take place and more brainstorming on the topic in question. It further says, this relationship matters to me and I want to continue to work on the topic in a rational and heartfelt way. Tom, if you’re looking for another career, you might try being an Anger Management instructor.
Tom, the point you made about this convention of being able to only comment on what people say and not on their body language or general energy is amazing! I have had real challenges in the past with people that want to deny this as a relevant point of conjecture so I appreciate your approach to addressing this.
Love them but sometimes we need boundaries. Respect where they are but honor your free will to not participate. Love them from a distance. Some people are mirrors of things you need to heal or deal with but other people are so draining you need to let them go out of your life. If you are slow to speak and fast to listen that can make it easier. God doesn't want us to criticize, gossip, or judge each other not easy to do.
Dear person, who reads it. Yes, I mean exactly you! Maybe we don't know each other. Still, I want to say, that I believe in you! You will certainly achieve your dreams and your happiness! Just don't give up and be honest with yourself! Now you have at least one person who constantly believes in you, which means you are fated to realize your dreams! No doubts here ^) *Best wishes for you ❤️ from a small RUclipsr*
Peace to you my guy...your transparent and down to earth. Peace and love to you and your, I fast and pray that your blessed with an abundance of things.
There are religions out there now tear members down and break up their families. Religious members need to leave those places. Agree with you show loving kindness and ignore the toxic person.
WOW, OKAY.... now I hold your content to a very high standard as it is... but with a video of this length, not very long to say the least, was packed with broken down info chunks which made it so easy to swallow. I am just super impressed by just how valuable this video was, so much more than I would have ever have imagined.
Loved this one! I would also add that sometimes you don't even need to prove you're right or that they need to know your right or understand you. It's ok to just walk away from a conversation because you realize they have put their wall up and accept you have different thoughts on the topic
@@viannawells1034 That's why you need the help of a professional who trade and understand the market more to earn good income. These professionals understand the market like it's there own farm and makes maximum profits for investors.
I’ve been following Tom B I love this guy !!🔥 No disrespect to Mrs. B ..thank you for sharing him ! I’ve implemented this session and it’s blown my mind how or really works . Tom also interview Dr Joe Dispenza you need to watch that too !!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥
This was perfectly on point in the world of synchronicity that I needed to hear today. Something happened last night that all of this relates to resolving and solving. Even if what happened can't be resolved in solve, it got to the point that it got because of failures in all of these areas that you are now discussing. This was a really great one Tom thank you!
Sometimes people need space to calm down when they are agitated. It doesn't always have to be address. They may need time to work through their emotions on their own.
Great shirt! I'm a fan also of the show. This show on dealing with toxic people is hitting right on the mark for me. Trying to start my first company, losing my job from a spine injury, car just broke down this week and being evicted. I now stay with a toxic friend which was sadly my most reasonable decision. This video is really helping me to at least get into a place in my heart or I can handle this friendship and my sanity 😌. Thanks Tom.
I'm in a situation where I cannot get away from a toxic sibling who, without me would be homeless and destitute. As horrible as she behaves toward me I don't have it in me to throw her out of my house. I'm going to print out the transcript of the first 8-1/2 minutes of this video and read it every day. It seems like you are talking directly to me, as though you know my situation intimately.
I've been dealing with difficult people in the past 6-7 months. It's just this one girl at my work place makes it difficult for me to enjoy my my job at the workplace. She seems to be nice to everyone except for me. She doesn't seem to like me very much. Even if I tried to say "hi" or "goodbye" to her, she doesn't say those things back to me. She seems to do that to others but not me... Sometimes she would criticize or sound rude to me if I make a mistake at my work place. This makes me feel depressed and part of it makes me want to quit my job but I can't because it will be hard to find another job... This is why I don't like going to staff parties because I feel lonely or left out because of one girl that seems to dislike me... 😔
Jealous family members are hard to deal with as well because their jealousy turns into negativity and you never know when they'll strike. I'm learning to trust God and not to be afraid of them.
Living your life in light of what Christ did for you on the cross and what that truly means, as well as seeing yourself as a person made in His image…that will open you up to true Joy and fulfillment. It takes the pressure off of you and puts it on Christ.
I do relate and appreciate your thinking. however growing up as the “family” scapegoat…although it took a lifetime, I developed strategies such as what you describe. However, the “family” is deaf, dumb and blind…. They are so entrenched in their thinking that no matter what, I am some sort of idiot to be abused. Your strategy/work hasn’t worked. They have no interest in interrupting their structure which places me at the bottom. I was trained well by the damily and was eaten alive at my work in the government. I just didn’t understand how I fell into the scape goat role that I had lived with my family of origin. I get it now! I couldn’t agree more with your theories. Implementing is a whole other challenge especially when the players mistake your kindness for weakness and /or ignorance. I have learned that most people who have the tendencies that we are speaking of have no interest in honest give and take.
All wonderfully spot on unless you're dealing with a personality disordered individual (see Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition, cluster B Personality disorders, from p.659...Antisocial Personality disorder, Borderline personality disorder, Histrionic personality disorder, Narcissistic personality disorder).
I'm not sure about just sitting with people who drain you. Unless you're Thich Nhat Hahn or some ish. Sometimes you need to snarl to protect your inner child. Especially if they've been doing it for decades and you've never informed them in a manner they've acknowledged. Boundaries need to be set however they need to be set, and the practice is awkward until it isn't 👊🏾
There are sociopaths out there. They don't come in sheep's clothing, they come in your clothes! Don't show "idiot compassion" for them. Set boundaries, say "no!" Trust your own perception, intuition, emotions, gut feeling, act accordingly -> distance yourself
Here is my take. People can be annoying. Incompetent. Ridiculous. But as I told my own subscribers, you have to make an attempt not to hurt them. And usually that means even their feelings. You have to understand that many will have annoying traits that are not necessarily bullying traits but just what they are--annoying. And usually this type of behavior comes from their own internal unrest. As one of my Muay Thai coaches said: if a tiger attacks you in the jungle you must draw your knife and kill it. But if a little dog was nipping at your heels would you kick it to death? No, you move it gently out of the way. And that is the effort you have to make with people. Not everyone is strong, most aren't warriors. They aren't confident therefore have to be dealt with gently like the above analogy. And if you do that daily, you will find that it reflects back and gives you only more tranquility. Hope this helps someone out there---Charles
For a toxic family member, one idea could be to get someone they look up to and ask them to help you out. One should of course also work on one's skills to better understand the situation, not only to describe it to the other but to also make sure one is making reasonable requests that are being rejected without any sensible basis.
How do you avoid toxic people in your life?
All I can say is that the best way to avoid negative people is to give them grace because it’s clear that they’re hurting. I observe them to learn how I can be of service. If you read between the lines of their negativity, there is something to grasp and grow from.
If i see any toxic family or people, i completely cut the relationship ASAP.
I only accept and look for people who will support myself and my family sincerely.
@@CryptoDad83 I agree. I think there is a sweet spot between your case which I lean towards and his lessons to absorb
Hi, first I'm asking myself why I perceive them as "difficult" or "toxic"(maybe for someone else they are not)..
Then I'm turning it around:
"They are ok" and focussing on qualities in them that support this angle.
The only MANTRA for success- ruclips.net/video/nyGLzC9vwfY/видео.html
If you're reading this I'm praying something amazing happens for you today. 🙏🏻❤
Thanks! I pray something AMAZING happens for you today as well ❤️
‘The most joyful people, the only finger they ever point is at themselves’ Wow that is so profound 🧐
secret to success- ruclips.net/video/nyGLzC9vwfY/видео.html
Wow..
OMG wgat BS
Okay just when I think you can’t out do yourself. You come out with this video. This is so powerful and so needed to be said and heard.. Keep Blessing Us with all these jewels 💎
My tactic for the past years has been to become very clear about my own value, and to respect that. Which means I avoid those people better. But also, when it comes to people I think we often attract people who are a match to who we are. So if you find yourself with people that put's you down or that makes you feel not so good in one way or another. I would not focus so much on them but focus on developing my self, raise my own energy, increase my sense of self or whatever it is that you need to do. That way you will meet better people that reflect your new abundant internal state. And in the process find the courage to leave or deal with the people who don't align with you anymore.
Thank you ❤
ruclips.net/video/-wZ9YINYPKI/видео.html
This comment!!!!!!! 🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿
@@ajohonly3721 🙌🙌
@@myownstrut790 👏 You got it.
"Those that focus outwards, fail to see the opportunities in themselves" Brilliant! I will hang on to this one! Thank you so much!
The trick is to keep your focus outwards at all times while simultaneously focusing 100% on yourself. Because if your focus turns inwards, chances are you are going to get stuck in negative thoughts and feelings which will prohibit you from moving forward. I'm always at my happiest when I DON'T focus on myself and when I forget myself. When I just fly like thin air.
ruclips.net/video/-wZ9YINYPKI/видео.html
It can really help to bring forth some compassion. After all, we dislike such people because we think they act out of meanness, not suffering
Sometimes you have to just walk away, for your own sake....or the sake of a child....but, I love this talk, it is amazing, thank you!!
Tom....your content has been blowing me away for quite some time now. I watch all of your videos, and they're really starting to give me more confidence as well as rewire my brain for a more successful and fulfilling life. This video was no exception. Thank You So Much for all that you do. May you and your beautiful wife continue to enjoy a truly blessed life!!!
Show difficult people that you are there to help, show them your spirit is stronger than your differences!
It didn't work for me . I helped him and he climbed the career ladder . At the same time he destroyed my career . So cut the ties and struggled to build my career again.
I find weekly teachings help remind me about leading with my heart and daily mediation is key to keeping me calm.
I had problems with my toxic older sister. Even as a very young child she'd say I was evil and do what I now realise was gaslighting. I think she saw me as competition for my parents affection so she used to make up things to get me in trouble with them. They couldn't handle her - if they ever spotted and called her on her shit she'd scream and pull her hair out - so in the end they just enabled her. I often felt distanced from my own family growing up - like I was the one doing all the wrong and causing the upset, although I never knew what I'd actually done wrong. I ended up just trying to stay in my room all the time.
I put up with it all until my sister's actions started affected my wife and daughter too. After a family wedding where my parents moved us all to a non-family table to appease my sister (she had a freak out the day before and didn't want me on the family table - I still don't know why) and they ignored my then 4yo daughter to the point she was in tears I realised I needed to cut ties with my sister for the good of my own family. My parents saw me as the bad guy when I did which was hard to deal with. Even now after about 5 years of not seeing my sister I still feel guilty and like I was a bad person for cutting that bond, but I couldn't let it affect my wife and daughter. I tried for 30 years but couldn't find another way.
Hi Adrain don't feel guilty you did what's right for you and your family,
deal with that guilt and live a peaceful life, you tried your best buddy.
You should not feel guilty for being forced into a position where such a decision had to be made. Being crapped on for being forced into making such a decision, that’s just the slap in the face to go along with the kick in the nuts. But that slap in the face should answer any questions you may have had still.
That what manipulative people, who know you best do. Press your buttons, even if they are not around anymore. Make you feel bad. I had a grandma who divided all family, turned the closest people against each other and her legacy lasted longer after she died. Your sister sounds like her. I am sorry. There is no need to feel guilty. Actually this is something she factored into you. Please step back and do not follow into her trap. It was her beliefe you should feel guilty, your task is to find your own belief.
It is healthy to have clear & firm boundaries. We are here to thrive and toxic relationships are an enormous burden. I too for the sake of family, etc...tried to make things work but honestly once I stepped away and stopped absorbing these energies I felt more free, more clear, more secure and more sure of myself. You have the right to pursue the healthiest Life & Relationships- indeed this is a requirement for us to realize our true potential. Sending Love ❤
You just described my life. I distance myself but they find ANYTHING to cause havoc, I'm never even around. I'm successful by my own hard work and I'm told I'm Money Hungry. I even saw a therapist because I started believing that I was the problem, I was cleared as completely normal by the Dr and was told to stay away from them. Apparently her health issues are my fault and I will never understand why. It's a hard way to live but there is no way I will allow them to control my life and how I do things that are right for me. That is their goal, to fully control your actions.
This is still my biggest struggle at the end of the day. Having to deal with toxic people I work with in particular. Some people just don't know when to turn it off or when to just go away and I have a hard time avoiding them or ignoring them. The type I run into often *insists* on trying to force whatever their views of the world are onto me or try to "fix" whatever they *think* they see wrong with me. This is a really big problem I have with know it all/controlling types who really believe it's their job on this earth to glom onto other people they think need to be more like them. Ironically, when I try to just do my own thing and work towards my goals, I get one of them stuck on me like a leech.
Change number and dont give them The new number
Stand up for yourself 💪
‘what do I value in this exchange?’ What a great question! 🙌🏼 You can pretty much apply it to anything.
*If you have some respect for people as they are, you can be more effective in helping them to become better than they are*
I'm not Tony Robbins. How much time am I to invest in coddling these nitwits? Really?
@@allkindsamusicchick Yesss. Time and energy. Can feel just exhausting dealing with the pathological raging and unawareness. “SERENITY NOW!!!” 😆🌻
@@allkindsamusicchick As much time as it's worthy for you to have your own peace. Nobody's childhood dream was "I'm gonna be an asshole when I grow up" and nobody wants to be a 'nitwit', but something obviously went wrong in their life. You don't have to take it on yourself, but every human being deserves a basic respect.
I have a husband who has to be right no matter what.
He doesn't learn anything new except if it concerns money.
I think people should want to change otherwise you will lose your self esteem forever.
@@DarkAngel-cj6sx I agree. The desire to change is crucial
This is truly inspiring, I will listen to it repeatedly so I can absorb all the essense.
Man I really needed to hear that part about sometimes you will never convince another person that they are wrong. I've been dealing with a difficult situation where the other person keeps contradicting themselves and seems to be wilfully misunderstanding me in order to take their stress/frustration out on me. Realising that there's really nothing I can do to change them is actually quite freeing.
Is that person a water sign…Pisces? Just wondering.
@@AN-fg4cd no. Virgo. Why?
There is a story behind every human being - have empathy !
"If we can come at things from that perspective; of trying to understand before we try to be understood, (hoo-ey!) you're gonna find that a lot of that difficulty just goes by the wayside." -Tom Bilyeu Thank you for these extremely helpful words!
One way you can deal with difficult people is by trying to understand them
The way to disengage a difficult person is to try understanding where they are coming from. I try to find their value language. A value language is what someone values most. It is what drives their decisions. For some people it is money; for others, it is power or knowledge. This not only helps me understand them but also helps them relax and become more open-minded. For example, sometimes Tanks just want to explain their opinion. If you let them talk to you, that might help them not blow up or try dominating a situation.
Yeah some people need to vent without a solutions. The quicker you can see that the better the situation might be.
"The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism." --Norman Vincent Peale
Sharing some love From a small RUclipsr 🤍
God asks us not to critize, judge, or hurt others. Words are powerful and LOVE is too.
Dear lovely person that's reading this, we may not know each other but I wish you all the best in life! ✨
I believe in you! Love - Nat ❤️
same to you dear. stay positive #HELLOPOSITIVITY
Love from a small RUclipsr! 🖤 .
I believe in you .. ❤ Nat .. another Nat xx 😉😊🥰
Right back at ya
@@hii.positivity I found your comment! haha you're the best #HELLOPOSITIVITY! Subscribed!
@@nathippo Another Nat! So awesome! Nice to meet you friend 🙌🏼😃❤
You made so many insightful points that resonated with me here. Especially when you talked about establishing boundaries and acknowledging the elephant in the room as a strategy for dealing with people’s passive aggression. Some of the things you spoke about I already practice, other suggestions were very helpful. Thanks!👍🏼
OMG I need this right now. I’m a caregiver to elderly people in their 90s who only speak French. The wife is insanely difficult and once she’s fuming 😡 you can expect the rest of the day to be shit
ruclips.net/video/-wZ9YINYPKI/видео.html
I have definitely been the difficult person in many situations, and it has taken me decades to realize layers of it and improve my internal narrative to be more positive rather than defensive. My intentions are always to spread joy, and it has been humbling and empowering to realize it is often me...and in fact, most misunderstanding and conflict in human relationships, in my experience is a combination of two different imperfect people being less than our best. I continue to work on cultivating more self awareness. I am making good progress, though a few years ago I was struck by a realization that it can take a lot longer than one might think to shift a negative thinking/toxic relationship pattern, especially if it was ingrained through many years of living unconsciously.
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Grazie Gabrielle🙏
I, too, share some of your difficult journey as a recovering toxic personality. After many books and self help programs, live and recorded, I deeply desired my family members to be able to recognize what is possible. My sweet father eventually did. He was even able to keep growing spiritually on his deathbed despite his pain. I am so proud of him. And I am proud to stand with you🙏🌻🌻🌻🌻🙏🌻🌻🌻🌻
Just sit, just be and don't try to change others. Loving kindness and compassion. Profound wisdom in this video, as I have come to this position after a lot of meditation and Buddhist chanting.
When someone hits the ball in my court and i do not like the way its served, I let the ball roll by until I analyze both sides of the situation in my head first. I don't ask for other people opinion when thing go negative in anything. I play by my own values & morals and some people will never not be ignorant. We all don't have to he friends.
Gold, I'll be re-reviewing this. This fits with where I am @ in my own journey in life, thanks for creating this.
Really great stuff, Tom. I love that you are addressing communication in the tough situations. I love the solutions you offer and the way you articulate the necessary fluidity/process of gaining understanding, staying curious, not being defensive...
Your presentation here...is why I continue to follow you. You are so crunchy and lovely! Long may you reign, guy! 💛
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Man, I needed this, I had a work situation and you just answered exactly how to handle it. Thank you. It was meant for me to find this video.
Wait! I thought it was meant for me. I guess we will need to share. Such helpful insights.
@@missdaisydoodle 🤣
Be mother to everyone in this world ~ Sadhguru. Like a mother lets show some kindness, compassion towards everyone.
Mother’s always have a stoic and strict side as well. U have Saraswati but also a Durga or Kali. Just like Brahma also needs Shiv.
"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver."
Speaking the right words to someone at the precise time is a lifesaver and is vitalizing and worth more than anything. Let's choose our words wisely to help everyone in their time of need.
One of the wa:ys to feel positive energy is to take your attention away from the negative and focus on everything that transmits positivity to you. Have a beautiful day! 💜💜💜
I needed this more than I could explain here.. Was up till 3a on the phone with my sobbing father.. Could not thank you enough for this confirmation!!
@Impacttheory: Tom you have had some amazing guests over the years but far and away my favorite episodes are these where you answer questions solo and allow your mind to riff. Love you guys keep up the incredible life changing work. 👍👍👍👍👍👍
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I love this guy! His level of consciousness is so amazing 😍! One of the core qualities I pray for in a man is kindness!
So insanely impactful! “They think I’m the difficult one”… very insightful and helpful to turn it around. Trying to be RIGHT vs trying to UNDERSTAND and finding the common goal. I will be sharing this with everyone!
One of the most important videos you've put out for sure. And I've watched a LOT of your videos. Thank you for this one especially.
Genius! This speaks so directly to how our family communicates.. And helps me recognize my reactions Thank you Tom. I appreciate the insight and how I can apply
I really love that there is no soundtrack on these, btw. :) Thanks for another great session. Saffolding of the conversation is such a valuable concept to keep in mind as we navigate our various relationships.
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Low carb keto diet with fasting helps stay emotionally stable 😌 try unfortified nutritional yeast if having arguments 👍😀
Thank you, Tom Bilyeu 🙏. #Peace #Freedom #Growth #Abundance #IWontAcceptYourLimitationsOnMe
Great topic and presentation Tom! This will be very helpful to me as I continue through life!! I also just shared with my family and friends.. Thx u
Tom, so helpful thanks. I love how dealing with people is a life long learning process-and that should be ok!!
It's kind of hard to just sit with someone when they are berating you. I have a friend who is born into a mafia family and on top of that is narcissistic. This guy has an incredible ability to not only dominate people, but also to intimidate and manipulate just about anyone, literally. I admire and respect Tom, but I doubt he would last long mentally in the presence of my friend. For now i'll continue watching his video.
Narcissistic personality disorder is real. They can’t be reasoned with because they hate themselves and others and consistent lying is how they communicate.
@@Kookka_ Exactly, some people with certain personality disorders (such as narcissism) can't be reasoned with. Also with narcissists, its like they sought us out to be an enemy before we did anything right or wrong, damned if u do damned if you don’t.
Tom I love your show. Thank you SO MUCH.
Exactly what I’m going through with my family. Thank you 🙏🏼
Hang in there, I’m doing the same thing. It’s not easy but I know distancing myself from their toxicity is healthier than trying to change them. You can do it too!!!
Excellent advise. Sometimes it hurts to discover we're being the "difficult one".
Keep you consciousness level as high as possible, and your emotions at bay.
Well done - Voice of reason and very compelling. Thank you.
You are way more compassionate than I am. When I've been done...obnoxiously...one too many times...I wish them 'nothing' good and I want to get as far away from them as possible. At that point...the joy card had already been played, and empathy on my end...is pretty near void. Who has time for these people? They're jerks! Unfortunate, but.....
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And, in order to have a fair discussion, you can agree to take a ‘time-out.’ This says that more understanding needs to take place and more brainstorming on the topic in question. It further says, this relationship matters to me and I want to continue to work on the topic in a rational and heartfelt way.
Tom, if you’re looking for another career, you might try being an Anger Management instructor.
I live with a toxic and violent person. I felt understood and given hope how to help myself. Thank you for this
Get out. ❤️
“Those that gaze outwards fails to see the opportunity in themselves “
Tom, the point you made about this convention of being able to only comment on what people say and not on their body language or general energy is amazing! I have had real challenges in the past with people that want to deny this as a relevant point of conjecture so I appreciate your approach to addressing this.
A different angle approach with LOVING-KIND, COMPASSION, MERCY, & FORGIVENESS. 🗝️⚖️🏆🏆🏆🏆🥰
Love them but sometimes we need boundaries. Respect where they are but honor your free will to not participate. Love them from a distance. Some people are mirrors of things you need to heal or deal with but other people are so draining you need to let them go out of your life. If you are slow to speak and fast to listen that can make it easier. God doesn't want us to criticize, gossip, or judge each other not easy to do.
This was amazing. Thank you 🙏🏼 thank you 🙏🏼 thank you 🙏🏼
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Thanks, Brother-In-Consciousness.
I needed this one, this morning. 🙏🏼
Dear person, who reads it. Yes, I mean exactly you! Maybe we don't know each other. Still, I want to say, that I believe in you! You will certainly achieve your dreams and your happiness! Just don't give up and be honest with yourself! Now you have at least one person who constantly believes in you, which means you are fated to realize your dreams! No doubts here ^)
*Best wishes for you ❤️ from a small RUclipsr*
Thanks for this excellent advice and insight. Perfect timing!
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Peace to you my guy...your transparent and down to earth. Peace and love to you and your, I fast and pray that your blessed with an abundance of things.
Tom, this video is so timely. Thank you for having this conversation!
This is really a beautiful way of seeing things Tom! Thank you Tom for the reminder!
There are religions out there now tear members down and break up their families. Religious members need to leave those places. Agree with you show loving kindness and ignore the toxic person.
Absolutely brilliant.Thank you Tom
WOW, OKAY.... now I hold your content to a very high standard as it is... but with a video of this length, not very long to say the least, was packed with broken down info chunks which made it so easy to swallow. I am just super impressed by just how valuable this video was, so much more than I would have ever have imagined.
Loved this one! I would also add that sometimes you don't even need to prove you're right or that they need to know your right or understand you. It's ok to just walk away from a conversation because you realize they have put their wall up and accept you have different thoughts on the topic
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@@viannawells1034 That's why you need the help of a professional who trade and understand the market more to earn good income. These professionals understand the market like it's there own farm and makes maximum profits for investors.
wow I'm just shock someone mentioned and recommended expert Mrs Mitchell Roland, I thought people don't know her.... She is really good and awesome !
Mrs Mitchell is obviously the best broker. I invested $4,500 with her and she made me profit $48,100 in 2 weeks and 3 days. It was mind blowing.
I'm also a beneficiary as well.
Trade expert Mitchell changed my 1.2BTC to 8.6BTC... Her trading methodology proves her expertise.
I’ve been following Tom B I love this guy !!🔥 No disrespect to Mrs. B ..thank you for sharing him ! I’ve implemented this session and it’s blown my mind how or really works . Tom also interview Dr Joe Dispenza you need to watch that too !!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥
The people who are the most difficult to love are the ones who need it the most.
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This was perfectly on point in the world of synchronicity that I needed to hear today. Something happened last night that all of this relates to resolving and solving. Even if what happened can't be resolved in solve, it got to the point that it got because of failures in all of these areas that you are now discussing. This was a really great one Tom thank you!
Sometimes people need space to calm down when they are agitated. It doesn't always have to be address. They may need time to work through their emotions on their own.
Great shirt! I'm a fan also of the show. This show on dealing with toxic people is hitting right on the mark for me. Trying to start my first company, losing my job from a spine injury, car just broke down this week and being evicted. I now stay with a toxic friend which was sadly my most reasonable decision. This video is really helping me to at least get into a place in my heart or I can handle this friendship and my sanity 😌. Thanks Tom.
At 9:04 when Tom says “It’s so scandalous!” it cracks me the fx up! I want it as a t-shirt, a meme, repeated in a rap song, and a sound byte. 😆😆😆😆
This was an awesome explanation of how to deal with difficult people.
Thankyou, I'm on the right path but great to listen to some advice to stop me taking two steps back 🙏
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I'm in a situation where I cannot get away from a toxic sibling who, without me would be homeless and destitute. As horrible as she behaves toward me I don't have it in me to throw her out of my house. I'm going to print out the transcript of the first 8-1/2 minutes of this video and read it every day. It seems like you are talking directly to me, as though you know my situation intimately.
Focus on understanding and not right and wrong. Thank you!
I've been dealing with difficult people in the past 6-7 months. It's just this one girl at my work place makes it difficult for me to enjoy my my job at the workplace. She seems to be nice to everyone except for me. She doesn't seem to like me very much. Even if I tried to say "hi" or "goodbye" to her, she doesn't say those things back to me. She seems to do that to others but not me... Sometimes she would criticize or sound rude to me if I make a mistake at my work place. This makes me feel depressed and part of
it makes me want to quit my job but I can't because it will be hard to find another job... This is why I don't like going to staff parties because I feel lonely or left out because of one girl that seems to dislike me... 😔
Jealous family members are hard to deal with as well because their jealousy turns into negativity and you never know when they'll strike. I'm learning to trust God and not to be afraid of them.
So true. The most tragic thing in this world is not being believed in by your loved ones.
LOVED this conversation! Thank you for shedding serious light on things I had no clue on how to deal with!!!
This one is the one I need dealing with my dad. Great calm advise!!
Living your life in light of what Christ did for you on the cross and what that truly means, as well as seeing yourself as a person made in His image…that will open you up to true Joy and fulfillment. It takes the pressure off of you and puts it on Christ.
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Yoooooooooo! That Cowboy Bebop shirt! Love it!
I gotta listen to this again and again until I start to apply it
I do relate and appreciate your thinking. however growing up as the “family” scapegoat…although it took a lifetime, I developed strategies such as what you describe. However, the “family” is deaf, dumb and blind…. They are so entrenched in their thinking that no matter what, I am some sort of idiot to be abused. Your strategy/work hasn’t worked. They have no interest in interrupting their structure which places me at the bottom. I was trained well by the damily and was eaten alive at my work in the government. I just didn’t understand how I fell into the scape goat role that I had lived with my family of origin. I get it now! I couldn’t agree more with your theories. Implementing is a whole other challenge especially when the players mistake your kindness for weakness and /or ignorance. I have learned that most people who have the tendencies that we are speaking of have no interest in honest give and take.
This is by far the BEST/most valuable IT I have watched.
Wow, you are right on time with this one!
All wonderfully spot on unless you're dealing with a personality disordered individual (see Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition, cluster B Personality disorders, from p.659...Antisocial Personality disorder, Borderline personality disorder, Histrionic personality disorder, Narcissistic personality disorder).
This is the best video I've seen all day. LOVEEDDD IT! I shared this with friends already.
Thanks tom a most enlightening vid ...keep spreading the goodness .....
This video translates well to managing people and cultivating a good environment amd good relationships with team members.
I'm not sure about just sitting with people who drain you. Unless you're Thich Nhat Hahn or some ish. Sometimes you need to snarl to protect your inner child. Especially if they've been doing it for decades and you've never informed them in a manner they've acknowledged. Boundaries need to be set however they need to be set, and the practice is awkward until it isn't 👊🏾
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There are sociopaths out there. They don't come in sheep's clothing, they come in your clothes!
Don't show "idiot compassion" for them. Set boundaries, say "no!" Trust your own perception, intuition, emotions, gut feeling, act accordingly -> distance yourself
Thank you! This is spot on! I'm going to listen to this 2x+!
Here is my take. People can be annoying. Incompetent. Ridiculous. But as I told my own subscribers, you have to make an attempt not to hurt them. And usually that means even their feelings. You have to understand that many will have annoying traits that are not necessarily bullying traits but just what they are--annoying. And usually this type of behavior comes from their own internal unrest. As one of my Muay Thai coaches said: if a tiger attacks you in the jungle you must draw your knife and kill it. But if a little dog was nipping at your heels would you kick it to death? No, you move it gently out of the way. And that is the effort you have to make with people. Not everyone is strong, most aren't warriors. They aren't confident therefore have to be dealt with gently like the above analogy. And if you do that daily, you will find that it reflects back and gives you only more tranquility. Hope this helps someone out there---Charles
For a toxic family member, one idea could be to get someone they look up to and ask them to help you out. One should of course also work on one's skills to better understand the situation, not only to describe it to the other but to also make sure one is making reasonable requests that are being rejected without any sensible basis.