Narcissistic Mothers and Their Impacts on Their Sons
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- Опубликовано: 19 окт 2024
- Narcissistic Mothers and Their Impacts on Their Sons
How do Narcissistic Mothers Impact Their Sons from Early in Childhood through Adulthood? | How Narcissistic Mothers SABOTAGE Their Sons? If you are a son of a narcissistic mother, you are more than painfully aware that this relationship is toxic and emotionally draining. In this video, I explain how narcissistic mothers impact their sons and I provide you with a strategy that you can implement today to begin to create more happiness and joy in your life and in your relationships despite the challenges in the relationship with your mother.
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DISCLAIMER: I am not a mental health professional and although I am giving tips and advice on narcissism and narcissistic behaviors based on my own personal experience, none of what I'm saying should be considered mental health advice. You should always consult your own mental health professional for specific questions related to your situation.
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My narcissistic mother chase away every girl my brother dated. She controlled everything in his life. He was the golden child and now he is mean, nasty, alcoholic and drug user. He hates me...his little sister because she pited us against eachother. Both our parents are gone and we have no one...not even eachother. How sad!
My brother , of a narcissistic mother, is the golden child.
Same here. I walked away from my narcissist mother 8 years ago. Never heard from him since
I have a narcissistic mother and I see myself in your comments. An example of that is when I was 7 y.o. and broke my left knee while in the playground. It hurt but when I saw my mother I immediately stop crying because I did not want to add up any distress. I have replicated the pattern by having narcissistic relationships. Last August the 8th, 2023 was my 10th wedding anniversary and then I left home 3 days later - I just got tired of the abusive language, gaslight, blackmail, and threats. I have not slept well for decades. I am typing this in tears because I had no idea I was this damaged. Thank you so much for your channel. It has given me hope now that I am 57 y.o.
I am so glad you found my channel too!! You have a large community of others here who experienced similar circumstances with their mothers. You can heal from the narcissistic abuse you endured. We have a healing program that you can work through at your own pace. It is called ‘The Cracks Within Me’. You can access it by clicking here: www.nakednarcissism.com/recovery-program. We also have a private FB page you Dan join as well. We can be your new community. Sending virtual hugs your way.
You're wounded and in pain. You're whole and not damaged. Your journey is to see yourself and your value. I see myself in the comments of narc daughters. My sister is on the streets and my parents are wealthy. The abuse and neglect we suffered, most people wouldn't believe. I'm here. I'm glad you are too.
First of all, you’ve aged like wine because you look nowhere near 57.
Secondly, you’ve got a handsome smile
And finally, love your best life, brother. Be kind to yourself whenever her revolting memories come up in your mind, do what you love and continue being kind to others. Be compassionate, be the opposite of what she was.
You seem like such a kind hearted individual, the fact that you remain sensitive in spite of the cruelty you endured shows that you have a good heart and are a man of principle.
Cry whenever you need to but wipe those tears when you’re done, and go for a run, lift weights or g by e active. Engage with good people. Find peace in helping others.
Live long and prosper, soldier
38 yr old and I'm still very damaged. But to broke for therapy. And due to economy I live with her. Thx because for those like myself this is the closest we will EVER get towards some type of help. I just recently learned that alot of who I am is because of how bad of a narcissist my mother is. But thx again for giving details and not just a few mins clips like so many others on here.
Friend, I see you. I hear you. I am you in many ways. It's maddening, harder still feeling this cloying need to explain to everyone our stagnation when we were subjected to unspeakable cruelty that, at least in my case, the narcisstic refuses to even acknowledge. It makes life feel pointless.
I am a sister of a brother who is going through this dynamic.
I also understand what it is like to be too broke for therapy and have to live with my abuser, as he does as well.
Please don't lose hope. I am glad you wrote this comment and I am rooting for you to find some outlet that might eventually take you away from that abusive situation. Sometimes it seems like living in the woods for a time might be better than have to stay stuck in a situation with someone who doesn't want or can't change.
I really hope things get better for you. Maybe you could start a support group or a community circle for men going through these things. I am positive there are so many ppl in similar situation, not having anywhere to turn, and things in the world have started changing swiftly this past year. Local communities are a sign of strength and progress, no matter what the current economic ideology says.
I got carried away a bit, but I am wishing the same thing for you as I am for my brother - to find your way out and to remember your dreams. ❤
My brother was extremely abusive growing up. The abuse went on n on. I finally can start to forgive him, through your help and insight. I not forgetting his abuse prematurely or do my own work. He is not safe for me, another of her victim in all this. Now, he has been primed by her to be the patriarch narcissistic. He missed out on so much love. I don’t think we, my brother n Me will ever have a relationship. 😢😢We all suffered.
I feel you so much! My mother has turned my brother against me with so many smear campaigns; and that from across the ocean. I actually left my country and moved to America, and she still goes on with her lies. I try so hard to fix the relationship with my brother, and we are on and off in touch via WhatsApp. Then it always comes to the point where he actually asks if we could talk over the phone, but whenever I say I am looking forward to our conversation, and he should let me know when it's a good time to talk, he starts ghosting me again for a prolonged period of time 🥺. I feel he is scared of getting hurt and he blames me for leaving, because he never saw the real "mother"and her narcissistic behavior. It's so frustrating. I am sending you lots of healing and love energy 💖🙏💫
@@NevillesRightHand1905does your brother feel trapped?
Hate you all and my self the most. Im sorry.
@deebigelow6082, recognizable.
Yes know the feeling
My brother and I were 8 yrs apart in age - he was the older. When I was in my late 30s and he in his mid 40s, I stayed with him for a week while I finished my doctorate. He was a Medical Doctor. We almost got into an argument when he mentioned that Mom liked me better because I was a girl. I fired back that she liked him because he was "her doctor!" After about 5 or 10 minutes of this discussion I started laughing. We both grew up thinking Mom must like the other one better because she definitely didn't like brother or me. We never really got a chance to talk further about it. I lived 1200 miles away and he died at 60 yrs old. She tried to ruin me but I rejected many of her opinions. I don't think he got a chance to. 😢
I am the daughter, who at 57 has started to discover what my issues are. Yes, my mother is a narcissist. Please men, heal yourself. It's too late for my brother. 12 years ago he was murdered by his girlfriend. She was the 2nd woman to abuse him, mostly mentally but this last woman was really sick. Just listen to what these people say. It's so true. He was the favorite, yet held down. Mother pitted us against each other. Thank God he had some intuition and called me about a year before he passed and we talked about all the lies created between us by my mother. Mind you, he had to sneak out to call me each time because his girlfriend didn't want him talking to his sisters because we were females. No one was young. She eas nearly 40 and he was 43. There's lots of sick people out there. We aren't the ones that are sick. We were just traumatized and can heal. They never can.
So sorry about your brother. I hope that woman is rotting in jail.
I am 4 years NC and in my late 30s. Healing is critical! Rip to your brother. Some men even unalive themselves because they can’t escape the narc parents grip.
@flemutter7211 Thank you so very much. She isn't in jail. There's no evidence. I suppose her punishment will come when she meets her doom. God will sort it out. You take care. Don't let anyone get to you. I'm in the process of healing. I keep getting roadblocks set up, but I'm trying to push through them. Today was my most successful day of getting things accomplished I've had in a very long time. I know every day, every moment is different but I'm trying very hard to celebrate and be thankful for the little steps.
Read Dr. Ramani new book "It's Not You." I am 51 and a daughter of a narcissistic mother and this book is so helpful. The first two chapters are about Narcissism, but the rest of it is on how to heal. I usually don't recommend books, but this one is very validating. It's about twenty dollars US & worth it.
Sorry about your brother & yes, God will deal with it.
My brother is just like my mother, who is gone and I went NC with him in 2018.
Sigh...I'm 55 and feel like I've wasted so many years denying my own needs way more than I should have, especially in my marriage. I can also relate so much to loss of a sleep boundary. I am barely starting to implement some of these things in my marriage and it is hard for my wife. I think she may interpret my limits as if I am neglectful.
round-and-round it goes
My narcissistic mother has always tried to cause problems in ALL my brother’s relationships past and present. She feels like she’s supposed to be the priority, when she’s not…his wife and kids should be, and are. My brother has given her cars, paid her rent, and even bought a house for her to live in all while maintaining and supporting his own family…
But none of that was enough for her. After her last stunt, I think my brother is finally done with our puppet master mother.
I have been so deathly afraid that if I were to choose anyone they would indeed end up being some one just like my mother. I am now reminded of just how lucky I am to be alone.
I think this situation is true if for example the son is an only child or he's the least favored among his siblings. In my family, I, the daughter, am the scapegoat while my brother is the golden child. Unfortunately, I'm noticing that he's becoming a narcissist himself. Hopefully, I can still talk some sense into him before he becomes full blown.
Very interesting video, and I can see how this would be good for many in this situation. While I recognized all these patterns of behavior in my own life, I also found myself thinking my situation was more extreme than what you describe. My mother was diagnosed with bpd, but I strongly suspect that had transformed into narcissism by the time I was 8 or 9, and she gave me the job of being her primary emotional caretaker as she increasingly viewed herself as suffering more unjust pain than anyone else on earth. But I could never succeed in helping her, so I went through years of escalating emotional violence and hatred while I tried to figure out ways to establish boundaries while still being the loving son she said she wanted. I developed extreme anxiety and self-hatred, but I moved out at age 18. This triggered a total meltdown on her part, and she never forgave me for abandoning her (as she saw it), but she still always begged me to move back in with her. She refused to ever visit me no matter where I lived - I think she couldn't bear to admit that I had any life apart from her. She never had any interest in my life, at least not after the age of 7 or 8.
She continued to find ways to torture me until I was in my 30s and finally cut her off completely, something I should have done at least a decade earlier, but the possibility had not occurred to me until then. I had always thought I owed her something, but it took me awhile to see that that was not my belief, but the belief she gave me, in order to control me.
So she died of cancer a few years after that, almost 20 years ago.
Every few years I think I've gotten past what she did to me, and then I screw up my life again, and I'm back to seeing and thinking about how she still affects me.
I cut my mother out of my life when I was 23. I didn't think of doing it myself. A chiropractor whose (deceased) mother had been paranoid schizophrenic helped me write my mother a letter to end the misery. Apparently, the chiropractor "believed" me. I am glad that I did this.
I'm the youngest of 2 boys. She loves the one who loves misery, while treating him lovingly, and has always made me miserable because I'm a loving person. She'd scream at me to get away when I was little, just like her mother would do to me, now she won't leave me alone to make me miserable. She's 76 I had to come back around daily because my dad died. Every single time,she triggers the miserable response I have internally because she gets extreme pleasure to get that toxic reaction. How do I change my reaction, because she's not going to change, and my dad taught me to look out for her. My brother is divorced from a horrible narcissist
Stay away from her. Why would you put yourself through that???? Why would you put yourself in that pain??? Its too much. Keep your distance. Call her on the phone and leave it as that. There is no reward for suffering!
Screw what your dad said, he chose her as a wife. You didn't choose her as your mother you don't owe people who treated you with vicious disrespect anything.
Learn how to set boundaries with your mom. My mom just turned 92. Trust me they only get worse. My mom has borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, and she is a narcissist. Those cluster B personality disorders are not treatable just with chemicals. Intensive therapy is also necessary. My sister is exhausted from taking care of our mom. I just spent a little over a week helping her with mom. I'm almost 70 and have a lot of health issues related to my career as a registered nurse. (Try taking care of people who weigh anywhere from 300 pounds to 900 pounds. So much wear and tear on the body.
I considered my mental health priority so I cut the cord years ago.
I am 59 years old and I only realized about a month ago that my mom was and still is a narcissist. I feel bad that my sisters had it worse than I did. with my sisters she was always in competition with them. I also feel sorry for my recently deceased father, since now I understand what he was going through and why he started to have an affair. My Mom's number one concern was her job and her being happy. Her family was a distant second concern to her. I look back at so many times my mom made me feel like I could never do anything on my own with out her support and I still feel like that. Hopefully at some point I will find peace and happiness in my life.
Birth order and sons presence in Moms life has a lot to do with this. If son does not have to deal with Mom directly, he is golden and older sibling is trashed.
I'm a victim my mom had me on psych meds since I was a kid she attempted to crippled me in order to keep dependent upon her it year to break her foot from my neck
Look at yourself as a survivor not as a victim.
@@niteal1255…EXACTLY!
there's no legal precedent for a mother abusing her son on an EMOTIONAL and/or PSYCHOLOGICAL level. Sexual abuse - heinous as it is - is LEGALLY recognised and hence LEGAL consequences apply. But if you're a mother abusing your children CONSCIOUSLY and WILFULLY........you can operate with impunity!!!! There's no consequence for this! And THEY KNOW IT!!!! ABUSIVE MOTHERS CAN OPERATE WITH IMPUNITY AND THEY KNOW IT.......but........we live in the "first world" and HOW DARE WE be "ungrateful"........FFS........there's no justice in this lifetime......
Leave them in their old age.
Decision making and feel of abandonment because you feel people will leave
Some sons become their mothers, narcissistic. Maybe it's fleas. We went to marital counseling for nearly 2 years. It was good for both of us for different reasons. I feel a little ick when I hear they marry their mother.
We gotta make sure we stay kind, thoughtful and practice boundaries so you don’t act like his mother, because his behavior may drive you to that role.. boundaries…
Surprised to find the difficulty falling asleep bit here, thank you for sharing your knowledge, experiences and wisdom here!
When my brother finally asked for help for his drug and alcohol addiction he wanted to go to rehab. My mother took him to a bar and got him drunk. He never did get the help he needed. Sadly he did not survive.
Incredible advice.. thank you!!
Although not necessarily everything you say applies to my relationship with my own mum, your video still means a lot to me. I thank you for its existence.
As a (male) survivor of ghastly physical & psychological abuse in childhood at my unfathomably & unbearably narcissistic mother’s hands, I can't resist the urge to point out that in today's world most people (at least in a typical modern & developed society) realise that it's simply moronic & incredibly naïve to presume that ALL policemen/women must be upright and law-abiding individuals, as there are now verified reports & documented cases of police officers abusing their legally endowed power for illegal or immoral ends. Then, why don't/can't people apply the same wisdom to their perception of parenting?
Just think of the shocking & horrendous Austrian case of incest that came to light in 2008 where an evil father Josef Fritzl imprisoned his own daughter Elisabeth in a cellar for years and compelled her to gratify the selfish desires of his body! I truly deserve to be called an idiot and a monster if I request Elisabeth to celebrate Father’s Day or if I rashly conclude that hers is only a rare and isolated case!
Is a person who dares to assume that parental maltreatment of children never (or rarely) occurred in all human history less insane than someone who proclaims that no firefighter has ever committed arson in all human history?
My nephew lived alone with my narcissistic sister for 16 years. She's now married and had another son, but I know it's not been easy. I wish that there was something people could do when they know the situation is bad, but narcissistic abuse isn't really considered abuse by DCS. She used to let him visit me but about five years ago, she started to withhold him. Always giving some lame excuse why he couldn't come. I used to tell him all the time that I would love him no matter what he did because I knew any love he'd get from her was conditional. I still pray he won't be irreparably damaged and maybe the time he spent with me will help him to know how love should be. I worry all the time he'll marry someone like my sister. I've had to go no contact with her. I emotionally can't help save the new babies. I'm praying her husband can be a buffer even though his life has to be absolute hell. Narcissists destroy you.
Thank you 😢
i dont understand. My mother is a full narcissist and she always put me down trying to control me in cruel ways, while my younger brother was seen as the perfect golden child in her eyes. What you describe has never happened between them. Maybe this is applying only to mothers who have sons and no daughters? i am confused. In another video about mothers and daughters you explain how having a brother is a really tough situation for the daughter of the narcissistic mother, because she will always favoring him. That felt true to me, not this. My brother is seen as perfection itself, and his children are the golden ones too, favored by my mom over and over, praised all the time. Not me. She will always tell me how my brother is better than me and how amazing his kids are. She encourages him in everything because it is sheer perfection in her eyes.
Thank you for all your support so true your information ❤❤
@NakedNarcissism my husband is the “golden boy” to his narcissistic mother. Not everything in your video pertains to him (he has self worth, we have boundaries in our marriage, he doesn’t seek her approval because she thinks THE WORLD of him) BUT he has ZERO boundaries with his mother. She calls him every day (at least 1-2x) and she texts him more than I do. Any little thing that happens to her during the day- she runs and tells him. Anything upsetting her with her husband (his father!) she has to tell him. She has him conditioned to the point that when she asks what does his day look like or what have you been up to today he lists EVERYTHING he did that day- even the smallest detail! It’s so bizarre. She constantly forces her way into anything we want to do with just our family (my husband, myself and our 2 children) and I’m at my breaking point. I’m considering finding a couples therapist. How do I know if they are versed in narcissistic behavior? Thank you in advance if you are able to respond!
How to leave the narc mom when she owns everything?
Wow! Great information! Thank you for this information!
Right on and often the sons may be narcissistic and they have guilt and shame so they continue this relationship.
Sadly they never get to know their daughter in laws as they are a threat to her.
Pitiful people they are.. and I just stay away from their being and home, let my husband go do his duty as it’s a chore he feels it’s great..
Great video!
Thank you so much! I’m so glad you found it helpful
I just thought I had a Tony Soprano, Livia Soprano relationship..
Thank you for this video
Can I just tell you that her son isn't experiencing any pain. He loves it when his mother backs him up and puts me down. I wish I could put them both in gitmo lol, not really funny tho.
That’s the whole point, he’s been brainwashed
Get out of that relationship! You are so worth so much more!
@@EastCoastGal66 I'm mostly out but still have to deal with them because of the children. People like this always get their karma tho! Thanks love for words of encouragement!
DISCLAIMER: Although I'm giving tips and advice based on my own personal experience, please keep in mind that I'm not an attorney and none of what I'm saying should be considered legal advice because every situation and case is different. You should always consult your own attorney for specific questions related to your situation and case. I am also not a mental health professional and although I am giving tips and advice on narcissism and narcissistic behaviors based on my own personal experience none of what I'm saying should be considered mental health advice. You should always consult your own mental health professional for specific questions related to your situation.
It would be interesting for you to adress problems of the son while her daughter is the eternal evil b****. You mentioned this from the daughter's side in another video. I am trying to understand my brother better. I can see that things whent wrong with him in our family.
Omg this!
Some narc mothers Will have there sons do their dirty deeds
My mother never did anything with me.taught me nothing just sat in front of the mirror putting on makeup and picking her face..now she's old losing her mind calls me and my wife over and over again till we pick up so she can tell us what she's doing. All she talks about is Amazon even tho she's about to lose her job from flipping out at work. I just wanna block her and move on but it's hard.
I'm truly sorry to hear about the difficult relationship you have with your mother. It's incredibly painful to feel neglected and unimportant, especially by someone who should provide love and guidance.
Dealing with a narcissistic parent can be emotionally draining and challenging, especially when they continue to exhibit unhealthy behaviors, even in old age. It's understandable that you're feeling conflicted about whether to maintain contact or to set boundaries for your own well-being.
Remember, your mental and emotional health should always come first. Setting boundaries, such as limiting communication or even blocking her if necessary, is not only okay but essential for your own peace of mind. Taking care of yourself is not selfish-it's an act of self-preservation.
Seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in narcissistic abuse can also provide valuable guidance and validation as you navigate this difficult situation. I also offer one-on-one coaching and have developed a narcissistic abuse healing program that you can access in the description below this video.
You deserve to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, and I'm sending you strength and support as you make decisions that are best for you and your family.
I need your help
I live in Los Angeles
7:25 my fiances mom has been telling him stories of women dying giving brith ever since she found out we want to have a baby 🙄 she tells him she mentions these things out of concern for me which is such bs 💩 cause im in better shape and health than she was when she had her 2 sons with zero concern to her health...shes such a weird lady, she also acts fake nice, i dont buy her act
Help please
Of course!! Go to our website at www.courtroomcompanions.com and click ‘Book Me’ for a free 15 minute consultation
❤