Unless you have been through it - you are so right - you cannot describe it where someone would understand the horrible, debilitating effects of benzodiazepine withdrawal
Dan I know you did this a year ago or that is the date on the post but I want you to know that I didn’t know right before I saw this post, how I was going to make it another minute. I’m a 70 year old lady who has been on Klonopin for 8 years. I’m on my third try and tapering even more slowly so I won’t have to go to the emergency room again and ultimately start taking it yet again. I just want to thank you more than I can express in words since as you said, the pain is all consuming and I don’t know who I am or where I am at this moment. I feel like the world is going on around me and on the inside looking out. The world around me is surreal. I feel like I am broken beyond repair at my age and it’s beyond unimaginable to think that this will be my life until it ends or that heaven forbid, that I will pass from a heart attack since my blood pressure is high from the withdrawal😣
I’m an accidental benzo withdrawal’r. 30 days ago I jumped off of my rx pain meds and my benzo as well because I told myself when they ran out I would do this. When I made it through 7 days of opiate wd and I still felt horrible…another 8-9 days of being bed bound got me searching online and then I realized what I’d done. I’m on this path now I will not go back to that evil med even if it takes longer this way. 1 month before I was planning my end. Now I’ve got 30 days on the other side! Thank you for making your videos- they have been a godsend. My goals are still super simple: keep myself and my pets fed and not much else.
It does get better!! After going through a 13 month taper and dealing with so many debilitating symptoms, I’m doing much better. I still am experiencing some symptoms like tinnitus, benzo belly, and brain fog, but I feel the worst is behind me.
Brother I was 22 years on klonopin... I KNOWexactly what youre talking about.. you were on lots of drugs .. YOURE AN ANIMAL !!! I WENT THROUH HELL !!! I DON'T EVEN WANT to think to imagine what you went through all those poisons. a buddy of mine is on 6-8 mg of clonopin daily hes 67 years old... hell never get off.... GOOD 4 U BRO !!!!!
Best description of the process ever. You are an incredible spokesperson for this horrific malady. I am six years from Xanax cold turkey and am still not 100%, having some waves (mostly mentally-based) and went through so many episodes of wondering if I would ever get better. What is difficult through bad waves is that you are thinking through a wave brain, and it is so difficult to rise above that and realize that your brain can not be trusted while in those waves. It has been so hard to find accounts that are so descriptive, so honest, so real as yours are. You are truly a massive help to those of us who are and have been feeling so alone and helpless. Thank you.
Wow, thank you. Your description of using your mind while in a wave and realizing that you’re in thinking with a damaged brain is also very spot on. Those are the times when I find it’s best to focus on your surroundings and leave figuring out anything about life to another day. It’s such a mental game going through benzo damage.
Been through opiate and benzo withdrawal at the same time multiple times, alone. Its hell. I once bought a gun with the intention of having a way out. Im still not completely free from addiction, my heart goes out to all the addicts out there. Happy healing!
I’m 40 days CT. I hear a train and I feel like standing in front of it. But I don’t. Cause I have other problems too. But I don’t. I need Jesus arms around me, Wish he would hug me.
I am in so much pain physically I’m body feels like a rock. I am in so much fear that I never got better. Thank you for your videos Dan Hugs from the Netherlands
It's really simple. Its an injury a severe one. Whether a person heals totally or not is up to where in the brain and cns are damaged and can repair itself. My entire left side still has nerve damage to it. Sad.
Dan once again this hits close to home and as usual I can relate. If it helps anyone else going thru this 8 months ago I was in a hell like no other similar to Dan's story. Prior to that I was off/on trying to quit for a good 2 years plus. I c/t 8 months ago and basically said I don't care what it takes or what I lose in order to get better. Today I am learning to function, working, healing, playing golf (this is really a challenge for me to be able to hold myself together for 18 holes). Anyone that plays golf will understand what I am talking about. 8 months ago I couldn't even get the mail, cook for myself, work, barely eat, talk properly you name it. It does get better and I have plenty more healing to do. It is possible to anyone in the struggle to make it. Support while going thru this is vital in my opinion. Without Dan I am not sure I would of made it to be honest. I am healing, I am healing Bob Bobarino
@@donna6165 Hi, Donna. 💓💓💓 I haven’t come on because I have nothing to report in terms of change. Still holding. I miss you much! Hey, you have my email now…please feel free to use it if you feel like it. You guys are always in my thoughts…always. I just know that my energy is not the best. Sending you so much Love and, of course, a big hug. 🤗
Hi Donna, I hope you are doing well and sending you some great energy your way. I have been having some up/downs lately but able to manage them. I do have nagging thoughts here and there about will I ever truly get better? but at the same time, I am so proud of myself for how far I have come. If you have any words of wisdom Donna I would appreciate it. I am doing well but sometimes I still get so hard on myself because I feel behind in this journey sometimes or maybe I am just on the right track and having growing pains. One day Donna I am going to be looking back and realize how strong I have become thru this process. Thanks for being a great friend Donna. It really does mean a lot. Bob Bobarino
@@bobbobarino6213 I’m Here, B. 💖 “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” That’s Rumi, brother. I can empathize, wholeheartedly, as you know, and B? The thoughts that are nagging ( ohhh, yes) are there to remind us to be ever-Present and steadfast in our Beginner’s mind. Allowing whatever the feeling is, then Returning to gratitude. Not getting caught up in the emotion-whatever it is. That’s been my huge focus since my Sleep has been on the upswing.🤞🏻 It’s what I practice, B, when my Mind tries to get up to its old shenanigans. It’s only ever Now and we both know that we can control our breath AND our mindset in any given moment. When I go back to the Asleep mindset of “If Only” and “shoulda/coulda,” I’m being super unhelpful to mySelf and others. It’s continually deciding, in each moment: Helpful or Unhelpful? Oh, B…feeling your energy Here this morning? Definitely Helpful! Big Hugs. 😊
@@donna6165 Thank you Donna I needed to hear this. Be present in the now. This has been really hard for me. I am learning how to love myself and live for me. From my childhood I was always putting other people first but not anymore. I deserve to have a great life. I love your perspective on life. You are a great spirit. I also find myself slipping from time to time on the if only, shoulda/coulda and its the worst. There is no win with that and it's a form of self-sabotage for me. It's ok to be Awesome it is not in a I am better than other people kind of way it's for me and that's ok. Thanks again Donna you are Awesome. Have a beautiful Monday and the rest of your life. I am so grateful to have found some amazing friends. BObarino
@@philosophicalfishing With me too. It’s been unsettling, to say the least, when my 82 year old mother tries to go down memory lane with me and I draw a blank. It feels awkward and embarrassing when others revisit the Past with me. I am working on not being too hard on myself for struggling here; this video is helpful, Dan.
Dan thanks for taking the time to make these inspirational videos. At 16 months I sometimes lose hope in my body’s ability to heal itself. When that happens I will watch one tour videos to give me the strength and inspiration to keep fighting. I have also thought about sending my car into a tree at high speed but I then the benzo’s would win. I hope I heal like you.
Hiya, Lance. Not sure if you got my previous response to you…? It was last week, lol. It’s okay! We’re all over the map here, Benzo brain at its best. Oye. Thinking of you today! 💖
It can get tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel because this is such a long game. But 16 months in “benzo years” is still short. I believe everyone has the ability to heal from this. 🙏🏻
Hi Donna, Yes I read your other reply to me and it made me appreciate just how tough of a person you must be. I thought I was tough but I feel like I am slowly losing my mind from lack of sleep. I really appreciate your kind replies.
I'm suffering from very serious flashbacks . My brain will flash like a video/image replay of any remote past like a picture of the mall/street I've been to , or just showing me having dinner (non ptsd). My brain also project non stop images, jumbled thoughts throughout the day. I'm terrified, I lost control of my mind . What should I do? I ve been experiencing it since August and it's worsening. I have it in between drugs and after CT. I m polydrugged (antipsychotics, ssri, benzo, z drug, anti convulsant) and have CT the last drug in Feb. This is a very rare symptoms. Are these signs of permanent brain injuries?
Just found your channel. I think its great that you are pouring out your experiences in such a truthful and completely sincere way. I have been on ativan for 7 years. I just did a 3 month taper, and quit. My blood pressure has gone up, to the point where the doctor has me on meds. My memory and recall is pitiful. My joints have ached. I couldn't figure out what was going on with me. I have hope now. I will do this. I hope my memory returns. God bless you man! And thank you!
Even though you are still in the throes of suffering, you’ve done one of the hardest things imaginable and came off of benzos. I am proud of you and I hope you are proud of you too! Massive accomplishment!!
Namaste and Good Evening, Everyone. I’ve been experiencing a bit of a “run” ( 5 days straight!) of restful sleep, huge for me as this symptom is my biggest Achilles Heel still, over 4 years free. At this moment in time, with several restorative night’s sleep, YAY!!!, I’m feeling rested, lighter, calmer, more relaxed, and (🤞🏻) even more hopeful that we are all, absolutely, 💯%, slowly but intentionally healing. Of Note, Fam… Three things I did religiously the past 5 Evenings: 1. Took a long, quiet after-dinner walk 2. Diffused lavender oil blend 3. Legs-Up-the-Wall: 20 minutes while breathing slowly and softly. ( game changing; google how beneficial and calming this simple exercise is) Sending you all the strength, patience, energy and love that I can spare. We breathe Together. 💖
@@philosophicalfishing Thank you, Dan, I feel your deep joy for me and I appreciate it. Good Sunday Morning to you. If I may add-after another good sleep last night-another constant in the past week and a half now, has been falling asleep to “Solfeggio frequencies.” Any of the ones available for Sleep and Healing seem to be helpful for some folks. 💖
Everything all at once? Holy hell dude. I went coldturkey from only Suboxone and that was pure hell for 8 months. Can’t imagine coming off from so many other meds.
Haven't been able to feel hird or seen in 12 step. Same neurotransmitters. Not just 5 days detox. My anger and rage are inexcusable. My trauma healing ..... yeah my memory sucks too. I know hearing I'm not alone. Or stuck. Thank you 🕊️
I was on benzos for 29 years!!! I don't know anyone who was on this drug more than 5 years. In 2018, I FINNALLY got off. I peed my pants for over a year. IVE been suffering from lack of balance, im scared to death of high places. I was a professional firefighter, with no fear of heights... Now I can't even watch high places on TV. Clonazepam was the worst evil!! I thank GOD Im still alive. The VA. Hospital pushed this on me, till I
My memory is so much better but will never be what it once was- I suspect. Cognition is very good and acceptable but also probably not what it once was.
What a lovely reassuring video. I have other meds to slow taper -1 CT is enough 😂 I listen for support as I take care of myself in the meantime. Thank you so much 🎉x
Brialliantly put dan, i know there is going to be pain and i,m a bit hesitant about trying to taper but i daren,t go cold turkey but i drank heavily one day last week and missed my usual 50 mgs of valium to sleep before i went to bed becuase i forgot and i slept for about 6 hours but by 3pm the next day i started feeling pretty on edge but not overly bad, someone told me alcahol substitutes for benzos but i don,t want to be drinking heavily every night just to stop taking the benzos, i don,t know if it would work that way, what do you think, keep the videos coming my man, love from the uk!!
Hey Paul! I would highly recommend finding a way to not use either alcohol or benzos because trying to substitute alcohol for benzos will only hinder your recovery from benzodiazepines. (If I understood your question correctly). I know it must not be easy right now using both but since both booze and benzos work on the same receptors it will make stopping either tough if you’re still using one or the other.
@@philosophicalfishing Cheers Dan, yes they do work on the same receptors that,s the only problem and it,s a hard one but i,m grateful for your advice my friend, i,ve been advised to stop the drink first which feels hard at the min but i need to to move forward
Hey Dan love you videos dude ,been off benzo 4 months after a 2 year tapper ,I was in a good place for a while,all of a sudden symptoms have cone back and panic attacks through the roof . How long dud it take you too feel human again .God bless brother
Joe- sorry to hear this but it’s a fact that everyone heals at their own pace. Sounds like you’re in a big wave right now and panic is very common as our calming chemicals are out of whack and the body is trying to reach homeostasis. I know it sucks, and it’s very discouraging when you feel like you’re getting better only to be hit with massive symptoms. This is your body healing though, it’s needs to go through this to get better. I do remember around month 9 I really turned a corner, and people even commented on how much better I looked.
Did you ever feel like your 'frontal lobe' or the front of your head didn't work? Like you lacked the executive function to force yourself to do anything? Personality, creativity, speed of thought - like all of this was just gone? Did it ever come back? How long did it take? Thank you
Yes, I definitely felt like that. Sometimes I would just feel dead and paralyzed inside. It’s hard to say when that got better. It’s been a long road of symptoms that wane and rebound. I think around 9 months this started to get better for me.
Am 4 moths off clonozepam and yess i been feeling like that procesing thoughts and memory issues but slowly i been feeling faster and memory is starting to kick in and i been in clonozepam for 8 years but the process is very slow
Hi Roberto, I have exactly that. My brain doesn't function normally and can't understand a simple thing and normal life at all. I'm homebound because of that, it makes me have agoraphobia and dr/dp even worse (knowing benzo and tapering causes it too). I can't be with anybody because I can't understand normal things and have panic attacks because I feel I'm in different reality from other people and loved ones. Have seven months to taper to zero. Have been up and low doses and many mistakes from doctors and had finally a good doctor and started to taper with Ashton manual five months ago. I feel totally brain dead. And I was very social, active, confident grateful person before I was prescriped a big amount benzo and no warnings after trauma. Hope you all the best.
@@mitch5222 It gives hope to hear others feel the same and it is from benzo and will eventually get better. Even I don't want anybody to suffer like me. I had quick learning smart brain and now i don't understand even TV commercials etc. Just "brain dead". And knowing I had late 2021 good chance to survive when I had first time diazepam 10 mg (after rapid oxazepam taper and doctor did crossover to from 15 mg of oxazepam to 10 mg of diazepam and brain lock went away when all my oxazepam withdrawl symptoms went away, I could function normally few weeks but doctor rushed the taper and it went badly wrong) and would have not have to suffer all this up and down doses for 1,5 years now since then. And being brain locked all this time after that few good weeks. And was when I was on oxazepam. I hope you all the best. May God help us.
Katrina💖 Here’s a big hug. I can relate so much to what Dan went through early on in bwd. Sadly, I know you can too and are in the thick of it at this time. I’m so sorry you are suffering. I hope you can feel my support and love and encouragement. I am Here, Sis. 🌹
Me too. Brain not functioning normally at all. Griefing all the relationships I can't be with. Isolated alone with brain shut down. Being trapped with tapering, no windows.
@@katrinamenzies9398 I'm sorry. Are you off now? I'm at 8 mg of valium and 10 mg of temazepam. Can't do anything, brain doesn't understand anything, can't go outside, can't be with anybody. I was fine few days in january 22 tapering and had brain working and good feeling after jogging and could go to store with my partner but then ct and kindling to klonopin and temazepam and then huge taper again. I have lost everything but my home. My mom and partner bring me food. I had a great chance to survive late 21 after rapid taper and detox and having valium first time, I had a life for two weeks but then too rapid taper and went badly wrong. I'm so desperate.
What if you’re 70 years old! My family and even my doctor thinks it would be better to stop trying to taper and living in hell everyday at my age. I could die from the terrifying stress at my age. I’m at 2.4 mg V and it’s been a total of 6 years since I started tapering because I was on 2 benzos and had to hold multiple times so I could function.
I am a year off and still struggling a lot - I was CT’d a few times and reinstated so I am a bad case. I just wonder if I am really ever going to heal from this? Do you think I will ? My psychiatrist put me on multiple other meds to get off these benzos. I am still on them an wondering if I will ever heal whilst taking other meds?
Eight years off occasional use of Ativan for insomnia caused by menopause and still can't make plans beyond 30 minutes as I'm only a breath away from terror when new pain attacks. New symptom...burning, itchy worm like pain in shoulders and upper arms...comes and goes for three weeks but now constant. Kept waking me up last night. Another new pain started last night...in front of left hip groin area..surface and deep pain like nothing I've ever experienced and I figure it has to be BIND related by the way it pulses..like all BIND pain, it pulses...the time between attacks the body calms and I'm almost giddy, then it attacks again and I cry and cry. Still dizzy, disoriented, confused , very poor memory but it used tobe so amazing, screaming tinnitus, still getting stabbing pain all over, and needle like pain...the symptom list is incredibly long still...just slightly different. Gone is the constant internal vibration, now just intermittent. Still feel like I'm going down a rollercoaster during my waking hours. Used to have waves and windows over days or weeks...now just constantly in and out of waves every few minutes. I can't take much more fear of dying. I know it's causing problems...it's stress overload constantly. I can't lose belly fat. I can't walk mg dogs for fear I can't make it back to the house...air hunger, pain attacks in legs feet chest, then the terror kicks in. Cant use the right words...so many corrections when I read to edit. Just 2-4 mg per month. That's 2-4 doses per month for ten years and 8 years off and no end in site for the suffering. Ativan gave me heart palpitations, GAD, then at five years of taking it intermittently, my first panic attack. All the while, doctors said it can't be the Ativan, you're mentally ill and I was forced on nine different psych meds. I'm not and was not mentally ill except for the damage from Ativan and valium, probably the most damage done during the tapers. The first two plans kindled me severely. I'll be 70 next year and wonder if the physical pain and mental torture are worth going on. No one loves me, no one cares for me, I guess I'll go to the garden and eat worms. At least I have a garden and income. And even if I chose suicide, I'm too chicken to run my car into a tree. I miss alcohol. I'm wondering if I was always low in gaba because in the past, two drinks and I'd feel great...but then alcohol's effect changed after my first few doses of Ativan. It no longer made me feel good so I drank more and more often looking for that relaxed feeling. I never took my prescription as prescribed, I took WAY LESS. Never more than 40 mg over a year, until the taper. My doctor still thinks, all I need is the right antidepressant!!! When will the torture end? It started with Ativan, made worse by nine psych meds and continues to torture me with all this brain disfunction. Glad you got out ok.
Ceasing benzodiazepine use can be relatively easy for many people, but very difficult for others. Various estimates suggest that 30% to 40% of those people who take prescribed quantities for longer than one month will experience significant withdrawal symptoms upon abrupt cessation. Benzodiazepines - SA Health This is from South Australian government website.
Month 27 begins 80 to 86 percent healed still tinitus still broken sleep 6 hours when I feel normal take metapralol succinate 75 mg and ivabradine for fast heart rate
Hi Stephen- I’ve used all of those in bind and it varies from person to person, so if you try something start at a low dose and go very slowly. Magnesium glycinate helps me with sleep and I still use it intermittently to this day. Benadryl, I don’t like because it makes me feel really weird and it’s a different class of drugs that seems to not agree with me. Melatonin helped me early on to get some sleep but I wouldn’t recommend for long term use as it’s a hormone and will not be good if used too long.
Wauuu i am 63 jears old im in heroin addictiin+8x 1mg xanax a day. I yust want to leave this world coz of what i become. I am afraid to quit coz im also depresed all of my life.😢 Thank you Dan and good whishis for all of you people . Love and peace 4ever
I know how you feel. I felt like I was too damaged to keep going and it was hopeless. But it’s never hopeless. I’ve seen people much worse off than I was come back to live happy, full lives. I’ve had depression my whole life but have found ways to live alongside the sadness that comes and goes. I hope that you will find the same thing. There are ways to get there, keep seeking and asking for help. 🙏🏻❤️
@@philosophicalfishingThanks for the fast response. I haven’t exhausted all options (there’s always a cure for everything, it’s just a matter of discovering it), but I sure have stumped just about every doctor I’ve seen. I believe I have something called atypical odontalgia or persistent idiopathic facial pain (this usually occurs after some dental work). It’s crazy, because everyone who I have spoken to who has this debilitating condition are also taking benzos to treat their pain. As far as other options go, I’m not entirely sure where to turn. Most dentists and doctors aren’t even aware of this condition, and the ones who do know about it attempt to treat it with tricyclic antidepressants or nerve pain medication, like Lyrica or Gabapentin, which aren’t nearly as effective, and can also be just as bad as benzos. I’ve been turned away by dentists, general physicians, and neurosurgeons. I may just have to be on benzos for life, or start looking into more holistic and alternative types of medicine. I’ve never felt so screwed over in my entire life. There just aren’t any other medications out there that I’m aware of that directly bind to gaba receptors, while lowering glutamate and increasing gaba. I believe this is why benzodiazepines work so well for nerve damage and neuropathic types of pain.
I lost all my confidence over my mind that it will work properly if I am not with my family members. This weird thought that I will go out of my mind if alone, makes me really disturbed all the time. I am 4 months off xanax. I am scared to become crazy in this frightening process. It seems that I am struck in some mental loop, and I don't feel a clear head, how can I heal? Will I develop a new illness? Please help.
Thanks for the comment. I’ve never downplayed how horrendous it is, in fact, that’s the entire reason I started this channel; precisely because it is such a terrible thing to deal with. My experience and the experience of everyone I’ve had the privilege to speak with over the last 7 years has shown me that we do heal from it, with time. So, it’s not false hope, it’s real hope.
@@philosophicalfishing I’ve met multiple people ten years off even 20 years off that are disabled. To pretend they are going to recover is not only giving them false hope, it’s also downplaying how terrible these drugs are. Some people will be in permanent hell the rest of their life and the more we say “everyone heals” the more people are going to be less scared of taking these drugs
@@Cheesygarlicccc I’m open about the fact that I’m still not 💯 healed at 7 years off. I made a whole video about in speaking to my benzo belly issues. My experience and my point for making these videos are that the vast majority of us can and will heal to the extent that we can go on to live great lives.
Could this be the same for antidepressant damage? I know you may not have that experience but it’ll be cool if someone could chime in.. If it is man it’s very relieving, I feel like I’m stuck in hell forever.. still on mine but damage has been done with a failed taper and reinstatement.. akathisia and mental torture.. hanging in there though. Can’t work, can’t go out, can’t do anything but take walks and lay down.. it sucks.
Hello, and welcome to the channel. Many people have reported similar symptoms to benzo withdrawal with other psychiatric meds, so it’s not unheard of. I also took an antidepressant of some type or another for around 17 years, so I’m also no stranger to it and know it can lead to some very painful symptoms. You’re not alone, my friend. I’m sorry you’re struggling right now.
I didn’t have the volume but I had the length. .25 mg Klon. and 3 mg PZ for 31 years. No real dosage issues just wanted to feel again. Weaned off the PZ first over 6 months now about 6 months into weaning the benzo and down to .05. Prozac withdrawal was crazy - at month three had some dental work and my mouth hurt for weeks. Totally obsessed over the crown. Then moments of anger rage, then crying moments. Then my skin started acting up with eczema on my head and around my eye. Then burning sensations on my face. It all got better with time.
Thank you. Will my brain shut down go away? I'm everyday thinking ending this because I think I can't have my brain lock away and never can have my normal functioning brain back. I can't understand a simple thing and normal life. Can't be with anybody. Is this normal? Professionals try now to tell me that it is from benzo and tapering. I have been in this almost two years. I don't have soul and heart anymore, dreams ripped. Please can someone tell this is normal. I have dropped next week to 20 mg from 60 mg of diazepam. Thank you for saying brain lock. I can't function. Can't go anymore even for walks or to store. I have all the traumas also that I survived and now i think I can't survive this battle. Please tell me this not understanding is normal. I have 7 months to taper to zero. I miss my partner and mom and other people. I do yoga, force it. I just think old me would have loved it and now i'm in terror. Lots of hugs.
Mi friend dont worry this well get better trust my i did clonozepam for 8 years and had everything you said but give it some time your brain will recover it takes time it a slow process but dont get stressed over it let it heal on its own dont forcet by patient
@@uriviera3860 Thank you so much. I know all, agoraphobia and depersonalization and derealisation and disconnected from people and enviroment would get easier if brain lock/brain shut down would go away. I had one proof when I was in very bad withdrawl symptons of oxazepam (rapid one week taper) and had 15 mg left and bad brain shut down all the time and when doctor did crossover to diazepam 10 mg my and my witdrwal symptoms of oxazepam went away and brain lock went away also. Then I could right away exposer myself to store and walks and see people and was normal me and had few good weeks but doctor rushed the taper from 10 mg and at 6 mg it went very bad and brain lock came back. And after then exposer doesn't help, because of brain not understanding anything normal and getting just over stimulated. So now I do Ashton manual taper and am homebound. Have tapered from total amount of diazepam 60 mg (stupid klonopin try in summer and crossover to diazepam) to next week 18 mg of diazepam. I have now one rehab clinic's worker (whose client I am not) calling me almost everyday and saying me brain lock is all from benzo, tolerance and tapering. He is such an angel to help me for free. And I have also very good other drug specialized nurse who is saying the same thing. And doctor too. I didn't earlier have this kind of support and soon it will be two years since this benzo hell started from having in a blink of an eye 90 mg of oxazepam prescriped after trauma and panic attacks and no warnings. It is very scary that brain doesn't understand anything normal and normal life. I want to survive and heal and want to have my good healthy active social life back. Thank you for your supporting message. All the best to you.
What you are going through is commonplace in withdrawal and BIND. A year from now you will be able to see that you have improved. I have done a lot of crochet during my withdrawal/BIND, and a year ago I could do only very basic stuff because I couldn’t follow directions. Now I can do complicated patterns. Keep hanging in there!
@@kathyt9837 Thank you so much for answering and saying it is normal to have brain not understanding anything normal. I have also totally horror waking ups, fearing everything and brain shut down and knowing another day in hell isolated alone because I can't be with anybody. And I was very social and confident and grateful person before I was prescriped a big amount benzo. I dropped this week to 18 mg of diazepam. I fear all the time I won't survive the taper (have been up and low doses, many mistakes over 1,5 years from doctors and I was brain washed that it couldn't be benzo and I have some mysterious illness because my brain can't understand. Mri was fine.) And after 1,5 years I had new doctor who read the Ashton manual and says now it is benzo but I'm so exhausted and scared and have no power to this and suffering a lot. Missing all social events and missing my loved ones. I would have a good life waiting if I heal. I'm in constant fight or flight and terror. And as long my brain can't understand a simple thing and normal life my dr/dp and agoraphobia isn't getting easier. Thank you for saying from year now i will see improvement. I need to hear it. I want my normal functioning brain back and give hope to someone else who is having trouble with this. Like I now have support persons that for over 1,5 years I didn't have. Thank you for caring and writing and giving me hope. I'm glad you are better now. All the best.
@@mitch5222 It is awful. Do you still have benzos to taper or are you off? My brain doesn't process anything normal at all. It just doesn't understand. And two years ago I was totally normal, exercising a lot, being with my partner and other people and cooking, going to store etc, I was very social and confident and active, grateful person before I was prescriped a big amount benzo and no warnings after trauma. And then soon I became to tell I don't understand anything. Just two weeks in late 2021 when I had first time diazepam 10 mg after rapid oxazepam taper and crossover to diazepam from 15 mg of oxazepam. And then brain lock left when all witdrwal symptoms went away. But taper with diazepam was too fast and brain lock came back and has been there since. I have also too much of quetiapine, two years ago I slept with 25 mg of it and now i have 200 mg of it and also temazepam 20 mg to taper, I have had those almost a year because I didn't sleep barely at all for over half year. So I'm polydrugged also. Have next week drop from 18 mg of diazepam to 16 mg. About seven months to suffer to zero. I know what it is not to remember how normal good day was. Two years ago I had still my dog (he had to put to sleep in summer 2021 at the age of 16 and had the best life and medical care always when needed but I had 2019 bad trauma wich I then survived and was happy with my dog and partner etc but that trauma effected me when my dog died and I had awful panic attacks like 20 a day weeks after weeks and doctor prescriped me huge amount of oxazepam and no warnings and I took it only to panic attacks and soon I realised I was hooked and in shock what kind of drug it is and it turned against me and this terror and hell began) I woke up everyday happy and went for a walk with him, ate good breakfast and loved morning and afternoon coffee (now i have to drink decaf coffee) and listened to music and put make up and left to store, went many walks with my dog, seeing my partner, friends, running, doing home workouts (I don't want to go to gym because of covid, I used to work earlier in a gym over ten years and working out there but the job ended when the firm changed owners so I changed the gym where I went for workout but then covid started) being with my mom and brother's children. I had everything I needed even Iost a job, I learned to enjoy life without it. And I was very grateful to God for many things everyday. That was me. Now I feel just suffer and am scared to death because this benzo hell has continued almost two years and up and low doses and after 1,5 years having doctors and nurses who said they don't know what is wrong with me because I can't understand (mri was fine) and be normal I finally had a doctor who listened to me and I said to her I want to try to get off with Ashton manual and she read it and is now saying (like one rehab clinic's worker who is calling and supporting me even I'm not their client, and my own drug specialized nurse, and psych nurse and two persons that have experienced this) brain lock is totally from benzo and witdrawl symptoms and will go away after zero in time. But it is awful to be in prison with these tortuing drugs and knowing taper is making more symptoms and suffer and can't go even for walks, afraid of even taking trash out. Not knowing myself at all. And trying to do at least some yoga and breathing exercises to calm my CNS and GABA but there is not much to do in a day. And I loved to clean often my home and now i fear even wash my clothes. I do clean home but it is pure forcing. I'm totally exhausted and can't understand I need people to bring me food. Because exposering myself to store with brain lock ended up always to awful terror and panic attacks in my mom's car. Agoraphobia and dr/dp are very bad. And I never had those. And when I had those few good weeks when my brain started to function exposer helped and I could do anything. So brain lock/shut down is the main problem and worsening agoraphobia and dp/dr (knowing benzos cause them itself also). I'm so sorry for you to suffer and me to suffer. I pray God all the time to help and heal. Life is so wonderful when you can be normal part of it. I hope you all the best.
I was ignorant regarding the need to taper. I didn’t do any research and I was also drugged out of my mind so I just went along with what the treatment center told me which was “we’ll keep you comfortable.” Comfortable they did not keep me.
Unless you have been through it - you are so right - you cannot describe it where someone would understand the horrible, debilitating effects of benzodiazepine withdrawal
So very true, Kelly. Such relief and reassurance to not feel alone in This. 💖
It absolute and complete utter hell@@donna6165
Dan I know you did this a year ago or that is the date on the post but I want you to know that I didn’t know right before I saw this post, how I was going to make it another minute. I’m a 70 year old lady who has been on Klonopin for 8 years. I’m on my third try and tapering even more slowly so I won’t have to go to the emergency room again and ultimately start taking it yet again. I just want to thank you more than I can express in words since as you said, the pain is all consuming and I don’t know who I am or where I am at this moment. I feel like the world is going on around me and on the inside looking out. The world around me is surreal. I feel like I am broken beyond repair at my age and it’s beyond unimaginable to think that this will be my life until it ends or that heaven forbid, that I will pass from a heart attack since my blood pressure is high from the withdrawal😣
Your video. Today. Kept me from suicide. Thankyou.
You can do this.
I’m an accidental benzo withdrawal’r. 30 days ago I jumped off of my rx pain meds and my benzo as well because I told myself when they ran out I would do this. When I made it through 7 days of opiate wd and I still felt horrible…another 8-9 days of being bed bound got me searching online and then I realized what I’d done. I’m on this path now I will not go back to that evil med even if it takes longer this way. 1 month before I was planning my end. Now I’ve got 30 days on the other side! Thank you for making your videos- they have been a godsend. My goals are still super simple: keep myself and my pets fed and not much else.
Great video! "You have survived 100% of the days you thought you couldn't, so far!"
Yes!
Love this, wow, thank you, Todd. 💖
It does get better!! After going through a 13 month taper and dealing with so many debilitating symptoms, I’m doing much better. I still am experiencing some symptoms like tinnitus, benzo belly, and brain fog, but I feel the worst is behind me.
How long have you been off of them for?
@@fonzarellyplay370 30 days off
@@vwalker1040 what kind were you on and the mg and how long were you on if you don’t mind me asking?
@@fonzarellyplay370 I was on 1 mg of Ativan for only about 3 months when I realized I was dependent on the drug. It took me 13 months to taper off…
How r u doing now.
Brother I was 22 years on klonopin... I KNOWexactly what youre talking about.. you were on lots of drugs .. YOURE AN ANIMAL !!! I WENT THROUH HELL !!! I DON'T EVEN WANT to think to imagine what you went through all those poisons. a buddy of mine is on 6-8 mg of clonopin daily hes 67 years old... hell never get off.... GOOD 4 U BRO !!!!!
6-8 mg daily 😱😱😱
Best description of the process ever. You are an incredible spokesperson for this horrific malady. I am six years from Xanax cold turkey and am still not 100%, having some waves (mostly mentally-based) and went through so many episodes of wondering if I would ever get better. What is difficult through bad waves is that you are thinking through a wave brain, and it is so difficult to rise above that and realize that your brain can not be trusted while in those waves. It has been so hard to find accounts that are so descriptive, so honest, so real as yours are. You are truly a massive help to those of us who are and have been feeling so alone and helpless. Thank you.
Wow, thank you. Your description of using your mind while in a wave and realizing that you’re in thinking with a damaged brain is also very spot on. Those are the times when I find it’s best to focus on your surroundings and leave figuring out anything about life to another day. It’s such a mental game going through benzo damage.
@@philosophicalfishing did you feel angina when you taper propranolol please answer
@@rameshlumb4003 I don’t think I felt I had angina, but I definitely had a pounding heart beat.
@@philosophicalfishing thank you
Been through opiate and benzo withdrawal at the same time multiple times, alone. Its hell. I once bought a gun with the intention of having a way out. Im still not completely free from addiction, my heart goes out to all the addicts out there. Happy healing!
Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability. 🙏🏻
I’m 40 days CT. I hear a train and I feel like standing in front of it. But I don’t. Cause I have other problems too. But I don’t. I need Jesus arms around me, Wish he would hug me.
He’s there 🤗
I’m 30 days CT blue bear - we’ve got this!
@@gypsydaisy oh my gosh…we’re in this together. I’m suffering from insomnia though.
@@bluebear7061 I wake up all night. My rls is better tho. I’ve been taking Benadryl some nights.
@@kellyjofrey4192 Thank you, Kelly. 💖
I am in so much pain physically I’m body feels like a rock.
I am in so much fear that I never got better.
Thank you for your videos Dan
Hugs from the Netherlands
It's really simple. Its an injury a severe one. Whether a person heals totally or not is up to where in the brain and cns are damaged and can repair itself. My entire left side still has nerve damage to it. Sad.
This was comforting for me to hear. The validation of how truly terrible benzodiazepine withdrawals are is important. Thank you.
❤️✌🏻
Dan once again this hits close to home and as usual I can relate. If it helps anyone else going thru this 8 months ago I was in a hell like no other similar to Dan's story. Prior to that I was off/on trying to quit for a good 2 years plus. I c/t 8 months ago and basically said I don't care what it takes or what I lose in order to get better. Today I am learning to function, working, healing, playing golf (this is really a challenge for me to be able to hold myself together for 18 holes). Anyone that plays golf will understand what I am talking about. 8 months ago I couldn't even get the mail, cook for myself, work, barely eat, talk properly you name it. It does get better and I have plenty more healing to do. It is possible to anyone in the struggle to make it. Support while going thru this is vital in my opinion. Without Dan I am not sure I would of made it to be honest.
I am healing, I am healing
Bob Bobarino
My brother, my awesome friend, look at you grow. Namaste, love and 💫Stevie Vibes💫for continued deep healing, B. 💖
@@donna6165 Donna!!!! I am getting there with the help of you, Dan and Jaclyn. You are Awesome
@@bobbobarino6213You are doing so awesome, Bob! 💗
@@jaclynpeters3892 Jaclyn, thinking of you-of course-and sending you a big hug. 💖 How is the Journey, J? How are you feeling? Love you, Sister.
@@donna6165 Hi, Donna. 💓💓💓 I haven’t come on because I have nothing to report in terms of change. Still holding. I miss you much! Hey, you have my email now…please feel free to use it if you feel like it. You guys are always in my thoughts…always. I just know that my energy is not the best. Sending you so much Love and, of course, a big hug. 🤗
Your an incredible human being.....for your work now and for what you have been threw.
@@MrPeterISABELLA 🙏🏻❤️🩹🙏🏻
Thankful this day for your timely and heartening reassurance, Dan.
We can do this. We are. As we breathe in love and exhale healing.
Together. 💖
Thinking of You, and sending you Much Love, Donna. 💓💓
@@jaclynpeters3892 My Sister…💖
I deeply appreciate you and your message. Me too you, J. Me too you.
Hi Donna, I hope you are doing well and sending you some great energy your way. I have been having some up/downs lately but able to manage them. I do have nagging thoughts here and there about will I ever truly get better? but at the same time, I am so proud of myself for how far I have come. If you have any words of wisdom Donna I would appreciate it. I am doing well but sometimes I still get so hard on myself because I feel behind in this journey sometimes or maybe I am just on the right track and having growing pains. One day Donna I am going to be looking back and realize how strong I have become thru this process.
Thanks for being a great friend Donna. It really does mean a lot.
Bob Bobarino
@@bobbobarino6213 I’m Here, B. 💖
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” That’s Rumi, brother. I can empathize, wholeheartedly, as you know, and B? The thoughts that are nagging ( ohhh, yes) are there to remind us to be ever-Present and steadfast in our Beginner’s mind. Allowing whatever the feeling is, then Returning to gratitude. Not getting caught up in the emotion-whatever it is. That’s been my huge focus since my Sleep has been on the upswing.🤞🏻
It’s what I practice, B, when my Mind tries to get up to its old shenanigans.
It’s only ever Now and we both know that we can control our breath AND our mindset in any given moment. When I go back to the Asleep mindset of “If Only” and “shoulda/coulda,” I’m being super unhelpful to mySelf and others. It’s continually deciding, in each moment: Helpful or Unhelpful?
Oh, B…feeling your energy Here this morning?
Definitely Helpful! Big Hugs. 😊
@@donna6165 Thank you Donna I needed to hear this. Be present in the now. This has been really hard for me. I am learning how to love myself and live for me. From my childhood I was always putting other people first but not anymore. I deserve to have a great life. I love your perspective on life. You are a great spirit. I also find myself slipping from time to time on the if only, shoulda/coulda and its the worst. There is no win with that and it's a form of self-sabotage for me.
It's ok to be Awesome it is not in a I am better than other people kind of way it's for me and that's ok.
Thanks again Donna you are Awesome. Have a beautiful Monday and the rest of your life. I am so grateful to have found some amazing friends.
BObarino
Thank you for touching on the lack of memory. I haven't heard too many people mention that.
You’re welcome. For me it’s been one of those things that comes with the territory.
@@philosophicalfishing With me too. It’s been unsettling, to say the least, when my 82 year old mother tries to go down memory lane with me and I draw a blank. It feels awkward and embarrassing when others revisit the Past with me. I am working on not being too hard on myself for struggling here; this video is helpful, Dan.
I think the doctors are to blame not you. You needed help. Your docs get paid by big pharma.
All the negative stuff we tell our selves are usually false try not to buy into it
Yes, our minds will play a lot of games with us during the process and tell us things that aren’t true. That was my experience.
I feel bad fir anybody going threw this. It's like a walking awake nightmare. That's the best way I can describe it.
As accurate description as I’ve ever heard before.
😢 I’m in it
Hi Dan you are definitely at your best when you're sharing honest feelings about your struggle. Thank you for your encouraging words.💛
Thank you! I really appreciate you saying that, Peggy. I agree.
Please keep making your videos Dan, you help all of us that are in benzo hell, ❤
Thanks Joe! I plan to keep doing this as long as it’s helpful.
Dan thanks for taking the time to make these inspirational videos. At 16 months I sometimes lose hope in my body’s ability to heal itself. When that happens I will watch one tour videos to give me the strength and inspiration to keep fighting. I have also thought about sending my car into a tree at high speed but I then the benzo’s would win. I hope I heal like you.
Hiya, Lance. Not sure if you got my previous response to you…?
It was last week, lol. It’s okay! We’re all over the map here, Benzo brain at its best. Oye.
Thinking of you today! 💖
It can get tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel because this is such a long game. But 16 months in “benzo years” is still short. I believe everyone has the ability to heal from this. 🙏🏻
Hi Donna, Yes I read your other reply to me and it made me appreciate just how tough of a person you must be. I thought I was tough but I feel like I am slowly losing my mind from lack of sleep. I really appreciate your kind replies.
Thanks Dan, I keep fighting everyday and I look forward to your videos.
I'm suffering from very serious flashbacks . My brain will flash like a video/image replay of any remote past like a picture of the mall/street I've been to , or just showing me having dinner (non ptsd). My brain also project non stop images, jumbled thoughts throughout the day. I'm terrified, I lost control of my mind . What should I do? I ve been experiencing it since August and it's worsening. I have it in between drugs and after CT. I m polydrugged (antipsychotics, ssri, benzo, z drug, anti convulsant) and have CT the last drug in Feb. This is a very rare symptoms. Are these signs of permanent brain injuries?
Just found your channel. I think its great that you are pouring out your experiences in such a truthful and completely sincere way. I have been on ativan for 7 years. I just did a 3 month taper, and quit. My blood pressure has gone up, to the point where the doctor has me on meds. My memory and recall is pitiful. My joints have ached. I couldn't figure out what was going on with me. I have hope now. I will do this. I hope my memory returns. God bless you man! And thank you!
Even though you are still in the throes of suffering, you’ve done one of the hardest things imaginable and came off of benzos. I am proud of you and I hope you are proud of you too! Massive accomplishment!!
this is poly drug damage...so glad your ok now
Thanks! I’m very grateful for the healing I’ve experienced.
@@philosophicalfishingdid you feel low energy sym my friend I m 760 days off
This video was incredibly helpful. Thank you, Dan. Thank you for being You. Sending much Love. 💗
Sending you some love this morning Jaclyn. You are appreciated. Have a great Friday and Weekend.
@@bobbobarino6213 Awe, Bob…thank you so much! I am sending you some Love right back, my friend. That touched me. Have a wonderful weekend, ABB! ❤️
Thank you for this video. Really needed it!
Glad you found it helpful!
Namaste and Good Evening, Everyone. I’ve been experiencing a bit of a “run” ( 5 days straight!) of restful sleep, huge for me as this symptom is my biggest Achilles Heel still, over 4 years free. At this moment in time, with several restorative night’s sleep, YAY!!!,
I’m feeling rested, lighter, calmer, more relaxed, and (🤞🏻) even more hopeful that we are all, absolutely, 💯%, slowly but intentionally healing.
Of Note, Fam…
Three things I did religiously the past 5 Evenings:
1. Took a long, quiet after-dinner walk
2. Diffused lavender oil blend
3. Legs-Up-the-Wall: 20 minutes while breathing slowly and softly.
( game changing; google how beneficial and calming this simple exercise is)
Sending you all the strength, patience, energy and love that I can spare.
We breathe Together. 💖
Donna! That’s so encouraging. Thanks for the reminder that we do heal, in time, and with intentional practice. So happy for you.
@@philosophicalfishing Thank you, Dan, I feel your deep joy for me and I appreciate it. Good Sunday Morning to you.
If I may add-after another good sleep last night-another constant in the past week and a half now, has been falling asleep to “Solfeggio frequencies.”
Any of the ones available for Sleep and Healing seem to be helpful for some folks. 💖
Great and hopeful
Thank you Dan! Very encouraging!
Everything all at once? Holy hell dude. I went coldturkey from only Suboxone and that was pure hell for 8 months. Can’t imagine coming off from so many other meds.
It was beyond brutal, my friend.
Haven't been able to feel hird or seen in 12 step. Same neurotransmitters. Not just 5 days detox. My anger and rage are inexcusable. My trauma healing ..... yeah my memory sucks too. I know hearing I'm not alone. Or stuck. Thank you 🕊️
Great video, Dan, much love from Norway.
Thank you! Norway happens to also be one of the places on earth I’d love to visit one day.
I feel bad currently
A lot of going through this is feeling bad. I know exactly what you mean.
thanks for the videos, they help.
I’ll keep making them then!
I was on benzos for 29 years!!! I don't know anyone who was on this drug more than 5 years. In 2018, I FINNALLY got off. I peed my pants for over a year. IVE been suffering from lack of balance, im scared to death of high places. I was a professional firefighter, with no fear of heights... Now I can't even watch high places on TV. Clonazepam was the worst evil!! I thank GOD Im still alive. The VA. Hospital pushed this on me, till I
Wow, sorry to hear that, Bruce. Incredible what these drugs are capable of. Glad you survived it, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever been through.
Dans gotta go live sometime
🤔 that might be fun!
How are you alive? Drs. Were barbaric taking you off cold turkey. Prayers and thank you for the video
You’re right- it was a horrific ordeal. Thankful I made it out alive. 🙏🏻
Have your memory and cognition returned to normal? four months out and still feel dumb but all other symptoms have lessened.
My memory is so much better but will never be what it once was- I suspect. Cognition is very good and acceptable but also probably not what it once was.
its very very very painful in the mind body and soul
Yes, it is.
Very painful in our spirit too. Where our precious energy resides. 💖
What a lovely reassuring video. I have other meds to slow taper -1 CT is enough 😂
I listen for support as I take care of myself in the meantime.
Thank you so much 🎉x
Glad you’re taking your time tapering. Wish you all the best.🙏🏻
Good encouragement. You are a blessing. God bless you. Peace.
✌🏻🙏🏻
Brialliantly put dan, i know there is going to be pain and i,m a bit hesitant about trying to taper but i daren,t go cold turkey but i drank heavily one day last week and missed my usual 50 mgs of valium to sleep before i went to bed becuase i forgot and i slept for about 6 hours but by 3pm the next day i started feeling pretty on edge but not overly bad, someone told me alcahol substitutes for benzos but i don,t want to be drinking heavily every night just to stop taking the benzos, i don,t know if it would work that way, what do you think, keep the videos coming my man, love from the uk!!
Hey Paul! I would highly recommend finding a way to not use either alcohol or benzos because trying to substitute alcohol for benzos will only hinder your recovery from benzodiazepines. (If I understood your question correctly). I know it must not be easy right now using both but since both booze and benzos work on the same receptors it will make stopping either tough if you’re still using one or the other.
@@philosophicalfishing Cheers Dan, yes they do work on the same receptors that,s the only problem and it,s a hard one but i,m grateful for your advice my friend, i,ve been advised to stop the drink first which feels hard at the min but i need to to move forward
Drinking alcohol is a horrible idea for getting off benzosn it keeps you from healing
Hey Dan love you videos dude ,been off benzo 4 months after a 2 year tapper ,I was in a good place for a while,all of a sudden symptoms have cone back and panic attacks through the roof . How long dud it take you too feel human again .God bless brother
Joe- sorry to hear this but it’s a fact that everyone heals at their own pace. Sounds like you’re in a big wave right now and panic is very common as our calming chemicals are out of whack and the body is trying to reach homeostasis. I know it sucks, and it’s very discouraging when you feel like you’re getting better only to be hit with massive symptoms. This is your body healing though, it’s needs to go through this to get better. I do remember around month 9 I really turned a corner, and people even commented on how much better I looked.
Thank you so much for your reply Dan, I look forward to your next video . Take care warrior ❤️
How long were you on them and how many mgs were you taking a day? Thank you.
Abused them , ended up on 50mg of valium , took a heavy 2 years to tapper off. 9 months clean . Still feel rough 😞. How are u
Did you ever feel like your 'frontal lobe' or the front of your head didn't work? Like you lacked the executive function to force yourself to do anything? Personality, creativity, speed of thought - like all of this was just gone? Did it ever come back? How long did it take? Thank you
Yes, I definitely felt like that. Sometimes I would just feel dead and paralyzed inside. It’s hard to say when that got better. It’s been a long road of symptoms that wane and rebound. I think around 9 months this started to get better for me.
Am 4 moths off clonozepam and yess i been feeling like that procesing thoughts and memory issues but slowly i been feeling faster and memory is starting to kick in and i been in clonozepam for 8 years but the process is very slow
But eventually you will start feeling much faster
Hi Roberto, I have exactly that.
My brain doesn't function normally and can't understand a simple thing and normal life at all. I'm homebound because of that, it makes me have agoraphobia and dr/dp even worse (knowing benzo and tapering causes it too). I can't be with anybody because I can't understand normal things and have panic attacks because I feel I'm in different reality from other people and loved ones.
Have seven months to taper to zero. Have been up and low doses and many mistakes from doctors and had finally a good doctor and started to taper with Ashton manual five months ago.
I feel totally brain dead.
And I was very social, active, confident grateful person before I was prescriped a big amount benzo and no warnings after trauma.
Hope you all the best.
@@mitch5222 It gives hope to hear others feel the same and it is from benzo and will eventually get better. Even I don't want anybody to suffer like me.
I had quick learning smart brain and now i don't understand even TV commercials etc.
Just "brain dead". And knowing I had late 2021 good chance to survive when I had first time diazepam 10 mg (after rapid oxazepam taper and doctor did crossover to from 15 mg of oxazepam to 10 mg of diazepam and brain lock went away when all my oxazepam withdrawl symptoms went away, I could function normally few weeks but doctor rushed the taper and it went badly wrong) and would have not have to suffer all this up and down doses for 1,5 years now since then. And being brain locked all this time after that few good weeks. And was when I was on oxazepam.
I hope you all the best. May God help us.
Exactly what I am going through. Thank you ❤
Katrina💖
Here’s a big hug.
I can relate so much to what Dan went through early on in bwd.
Sadly, I know you can too and are in the thick of it at this time.
I’m so sorry you are suffering.
I hope you can feel my support and love and encouragement.
I am Here, Sis. 🌹
@@donna6165thank you soo much 💜💜💜💜🌺🌺
Me too. Brain not functioning normally at all.
Griefing all the relationships I can't be with.
Isolated alone with brain shut down. Being trapped with tapering, no windows.
@@lauriina85 I feel the same 😔
@@katrinamenzies9398 I'm sorry. Are you off now? I'm at 8 mg of valium and 10 mg of temazepam.
Can't do anything, brain doesn't understand anything, can't go outside, can't be with anybody.
I was fine few days in january 22 tapering and had brain working and good feeling after jogging and could go to store with my partner but then ct and kindling to klonopin and temazepam and then huge taper again.
I have lost everything but my home. My mom and partner bring me food.
I had a great chance to survive late 21 after rapid taper and detox and having valium first time, I had a life for two weeks but then too rapid taper and went badly wrong.
I'm so desperate.
Maybe cold turkey is better because I’ve been feeling stuck for years and I don’t want to live either.
What if you’re 70 years old! My family and even my doctor thinks it would be better to stop trying to taper and living in hell everyday at my age. I could die from the terrifying stress at my age. I’m at 2.4 mg V and it’s been a total of 6 years since I started tapering because I was on 2 benzos and had to hold multiple times so I could function.
Just be gentle and kind as possible to yourself!
I am a year off and still struggling a lot - I was CT’d a few times and reinstated so I am a bad case. I just wonder if I am really ever going to heal from this? Do you think I will ? My psychiatrist put me on multiple other meds to get off these benzos. I am still on them an wondering if I will ever heal whilst taking other meds?
It’s a tough road, no doubt. I believe we all have the capacity to heal, but everyone’s journey looks different.
Eight years off occasional use of Ativan for insomnia caused by menopause and still can't make plans beyond 30 minutes as I'm only a breath away from terror when new pain attacks. New symptom...burning, itchy worm like pain in shoulders and upper arms...comes and goes for three weeks but now constant. Kept waking me up last night. Another new pain started last night...in front of left hip groin area..surface and deep pain like nothing I've ever experienced and I figure it has to be BIND related by the way it pulses..like all BIND pain, it pulses...the time between attacks the body calms and I'm almost giddy, then it attacks again and I cry and cry. Still dizzy, disoriented, confused , very poor memory but it used tobe so amazing, screaming tinnitus, still getting stabbing pain all over, and needle like pain...the symptom list is incredibly long still...just slightly different. Gone is the constant internal vibration, now just intermittent. Still feel like I'm going down a rollercoaster during my waking hours. Used to have waves and windows over days or weeks...now just constantly in and out of waves every few minutes. I can't take much more fear of dying. I know it's causing problems...it's stress overload constantly. I can't lose belly fat. I can't walk mg dogs for fear I can't make it back to the house...air hunger, pain attacks in legs feet chest, then the terror kicks in. Cant use the right words...so many corrections when I read to edit. Just 2-4 mg per month. That's 2-4 doses per month for ten years and 8 years off and no end in site for the suffering. Ativan gave me heart palpitations, GAD, then at five years of taking it intermittently, my first panic attack. All the while, doctors said it can't be the Ativan, you're mentally ill and I was forced on nine different psych meds. I'm not and was not mentally ill except for the damage from Ativan and valium, probably the most damage done during the tapers. The first two plans kindled me severely. I'll be 70 next year and wonder if the physical pain and mental torture are worth going on. No one loves me, no one cares for me, I guess I'll go to the garden and eat worms. At least I have a garden and income. And even if I chose suicide, I'm too chicken to run my car into a tree. I miss alcohol. I'm wondering if I was always low in gaba because in the past, two drinks and I'd feel great...but then alcohol's effect changed after my first few doses of Ativan. It no longer made me feel good so I drank more and more often looking for that relaxed feeling. I never took my prescription as prescribed, I took WAY LESS. Never more than 40 mg over a year, until the taper. My doctor still thinks, all I need is the right antidepressant!!! When will the torture end? It started with Ativan, made worse by nine psych meds and continues to torture me with all this brain disfunction. Glad you got out ok.
I identify with so many of your symptoms. Sorry you’re still going through it . 🙏🏻❤️
Ceasing benzodiazepine use can be relatively easy for many people, but very difficult for others. Various estimates suggest that 30% to 40% of those people who take prescribed quantities for longer than one month will experience significant withdrawal symptoms upon abrupt cessation.
Benzodiazepines - SA Health
This is from South Australian government website.
Month 27 begins 80 to 86 percent healed still tinitus still broken sleep 6 hours when I feel normal take metapralol succinate 75 mg and ivabradine for fast heart rate
God bless you! 🦋
Hi Coach Dan, what are your thoughts on Benadryl, melatonin and magnesium for sleep during bind? Thank you for taking the time to answer my question.
Hi Stephen- I’ve used all of those in bind and it varies from person to person, so if you try something start at a low dose and go very slowly. Magnesium glycinate helps me with sleep and I still use it intermittently to this day. Benadryl, I don’t like because it makes me feel really weird and it’s a different class of drugs that seems to not agree with me. Melatonin helped me early on to get some sleep but I wouldn’t recommend for long term use as it’s a hormone and will not be good if used too long.
@@philosophicalfishing thank you Dan
Wauuu i am 63 jears old im in heroin addictiin+8x 1mg xanax a day. I yust want to leave this world coz of what i become. I am afraid to quit coz im also depresed all of my life.😢 Thank you Dan and good whishis for all of you people . Love and peace 4ever
I know how you feel. I felt like I was too damaged to keep going and it was hopeless. But it’s never hopeless. I’ve seen people much worse off than I was come back to live happy, full lives. I’ve had depression my whole life but have found ways to live alongside the sadness that comes and goes. I hope that you will find the same thing. There are ways to get there, keep seeking and asking for help. 🙏🏻❤️
What if you have a debilitating chronic pain condition that doctors can’t explain, and the only pain relief you can find is through taking benzos?
I wish I could give an easy answer to that question because that’s a tough one. I take it you’ve exhausted all other options?
@@philosophicalfishingThanks for the fast response. I haven’t exhausted all options (there’s always a cure for everything, it’s just a matter of discovering it), but I sure have stumped just about every doctor I’ve seen. I believe I have something called atypical odontalgia or persistent idiopathic facial pain (this usually occurs after some dental work). It’s crazy, because everyone who I have spoken to who has this debilitating condition are also taking benzos to treat their pain. As far as other options go, I’m not entirely sure where to turn. Most dentists and doctors aren’t even aware of this condition, and the ones who do know about it attempt to treat it with tricyclic antidepressants or nerve pain medication, like Lyrica or Gabapentin, which aren’t nearly as effective, and can also be just as bad as benzos. I’ve been turned away by dentists, general physicians, and neurosurgeons. I may just have to be on benzos for life, or start looking into more holistic and alternative types of medicine. I’ve never felt so screwed over in my entire life. There just aren’t any other medications out there that I’m aware of that directly bind to gaba receptors, while lowering glutamate and increasing gaba. I believe this is why benzodiazepines work so well for nerve damage and neuropathic types of pain.
I lost all my confidence over my mind that it will work properly if I am not with my family members. This weird thought that I will go out of my mind if alone, makes me really disturbed all the time. I am 4 months off xanax.
I am scared to become crazy in this frightening process. It seems that I am struck in some mental loop, and I don't feel a clear head, how can I heal? Will I develop a new illness?
Please help.
What drug were you on?
What dose? What length of time?
Thankyou
Yes it absolutely can last forever let’s stop giving people false hope and stop down playing how bad it is
Thanks for the comment. I’ve never downplayed how horrendous it is, in fact, that’s the entire reason I started this channel; precisely because it is such a terrible thing to deal with. My experience and the experience of everyone I’ve had the privilege to speak with over the last 7 years has shown me that we do heal from it, with time. So, it’s not false hope, it’s real hope.
@@philosophicalfishing I’ve met multiple people ten years off even 20 years off that are disabled. To pretend they are going to recover is not only giving them false hope, it’s also downplaying how terrible these drugs are. Some people will be in permanent hell the rest of their life and the more we say “everyone heals” the more people are going to be less scared of taking these drugs
But I do appreciate the content otherwise so thanks
@@Cheesygarlicccc I’m open about the fact that I’m still not 💯 healed at 7 years off. I made a whole video about in speaking to my benzo belly issues. My experience and my point for making these videos are that the vast majority of us can and will heal to the extent that we can go on to live great lives.
Thank you
Could this be the same for antidepressant damage? I know you may not have that experience but it’ll be cool if someone could chime in.. If it is man it’s very relieving, I feel like I’m stuck in hell forever.. still on mine but damage has been done with a failed taper and reinstatement.. akathisia and mental torture.. hanging in there though. Can’t work, can’t go out, can’t do anything but take walks and lay down.. it sucks.
Hello, and welcome to the channel. Many people have reported similar symptoms to benzo withdrawal with other psychiatric meds, so it’s not unheard of. I also took an antidepressant of some type or another for around 17 years, so I’m also no stranger to it and know it can lead to some very painful symptoms. You’re not alone, my friend. I’m sorry you’re struggling right now.
I didn’t have the volume but I had the length. .25 mg Klon. and 3 mg PZ for 31 years. No real dosage issues just wanted to feel again. Weaned off the PZ first over 6 months now about 6 months into weaning the benzo and down to .05.
Prozac withdrawal was crazy - at month three had some dental work and my mouth hurt for weeks. Totally obsessed over the crown. Then moments of anger rage, then crying moments. Then my skin started acting up with eczema on my head and around my eye. Then burning sensations on my face. It all got better with time.
Absolutely. Same for SSRIs. zoloft 15 years. Brutal withdrawal. Tapering Too Fast by Dr. Hell. 9 months off and still hard.
Does anyone know what a 1mg of ATI is equivalent to? I heard like 7mg of another benzo?!
Hi Michelle- check out this website it may help you. It has an equivalent table.
clincalc.com/Benzodiazepine/
Thank you.
Will my brain shut down go away? I'm everyday thinking ending this because I think I can't have my brain lock away and never can have my normal functioning brain back.
I can't understand a simple thing and normal life. Can't be with anybody.
Is this normal? Professionals try now to tell me that it is from benzo and tapering.
I have been in this almost two years. I don't have soul and heart anymore, dreams ripped.
Please can someone tell this is normal. I have dropped next week to 20 mg from 60 mg of diazepam.
Thank you for saying brain lock.
I can't function. Can't go anymore even for walks or to store.
I have all the traumas also that I survived and now i think I can't survive this battle.
Please tell me this not understanding is normal.
I have 7 months to taper to zero.
I miss my partner and mom and other people.
I do yoga, force it. I just think old me would have loved it and now i'm in terror.
Lots of hugs.
Mi friend dont worry this well get better trust my i did clonozepam for 8 years and had everything you said but give it some time your brain will recover it takes time it a slow process but dont get stressed over it let it heal on its own dont forcet by patient
@@uriviera3860 Thank you so much.
I know all, agoraphobia and depersonalization and derealisation and disconnected from people and enviroment would get easier if brain lock/brain shut down would go away.
I had one proof when I was in very bad withdrawl symptons of oxazepam (rapid one week taper) and had 15 mg left and bad brain shut down all the time and when doctor did crossover to diazepam 10 mg my and my witdrwal symptoms of oxazepam went away and brain lock went away also. Then I could right away exposer myself to store and walks and see people and was normal me and had few good weeks but doctor rushed the taper from 10 mg and at 6 mg it went very bad and brain lock came back.
And after then exposer doesn't help, because of brain not understanding anything normal and getting just over stimulated.
So now I do Ashton manual taper and am homebound.
Have tapered from total amount of diazepam 60 mg (stupid klonopin try in summer and crossover to diazepam) to next week 18 mg of diazepam.
I have now one rehab clinic's worker (whose client I am not) calling me almost everyday and saying me brain lock is all from benzo, tolerance and tapering. He is such an angel to help me for free.
And I have also very good other drug specialized nurse who is saying the same thing. And doctor too. I didn't earlier have this kind of support and soon it will be two years since this benzo hell started from having in a blink of an eye 90 mg of oxazepam prescriped after trauma and panic attacks and no warnings. It is very scary that brain doesn't understand anything normal and normal life.
I want to survive and heal and want to have my good healthy active social life back.
Thank you for your supporting message. All the best to you.
What you are going through is commonplace in withdrawal and BIND. A year from now you will be able to see that you have improved. I have done a lot of crochet during my withdrawal/BIND, and a year ago I could do only very basic stuff because I couldn’t follow directions. Now I can do complicated patterns. Keep hanging in there!
@@kathyt9837 Thank you so much for answering and saying it is normal to have brain not understanding anything normal. I have also totally horror waking ups, fearing everything and brain shut down and knowing another day in hell isolated alone because I can't be with anybody.
And I was very social and confident and grateful person before I was prescriped a big amount benzo. I dropped this week to 18 mg of diazepam.
I fear all the time I won't survive the taper (have been up and low doses, many mistakes over 1,5 years from doctors and I was brain washed that it couldn't be benzo and I have some mysterious illness because my brain can't understand. Mri was fine.) And after 1,5 years I had new doctor who read the Ashton manual and says now it is benzo but I'm so exhausted and scared and have no power to this and suffering a lot. Missing all social events and missing my loved ones.
I would have a good life waiting if I heal. I'm in constant fight or flight and terror.
And as long my brain can't understand a simple thing and normal life my dr/dp and agoraphobia isn't getting easier.
Thank you for saying from year now i will see improvement.
I need to hear it.
I want my normal functioning brain back and give hope to someone else who is having trouble with this. Like I now have support persons that for over 1,5 years I didn't have.
Thank you for caring and writing and giving me hope. I'm glad you are better now. All the best.
@@mitch5222 It is awful.
Do you still have benzos to taper or are you off?
My brain doesn't process anything normal at all.
It just doesn't understand.
And two years ago I was totally normal, exercising a lot, being with my partner and other people and cooking, going to store etc, I was very social and confident and active, grateful person before I was prescriped a big amount benzo and no warnings after trauma.
And then soon I became to tell I don't understand anything.
Just two weeks in late 2021 when I had first time diazepam 10 mg after rapid oxazepam taper and crossover to diazepam from 15 mg of oxazepam. And then brain lock left when all witdrwal symptoms went away. But taper with diazepam was too fast and brain lock came back and has been there since. I have also too much of quetiapine, two years ago I slept with 25 mg of it and now i have 200 mg of it and also temazepam 20 mg to taper, I have had those almost a year because I didn't sleep barely at all for over half year.
So I'm polydrugged also.
Have next week drop from 18 mg of diazepam to 16 mg.
About seven months to suffer to zero.
I know what it is not to remember how normal good day was. Two years ago I had still my dog (he had to put to sleep in summer 2021 at the age of 16 and had the best life and medical care always when needed but I had 2019 bad trauma wich I then survived and was happy with my dog and partner etc but that trauma effected me when my dog died and I had awful panic attacks like 20 a day weeks after weeks and doctor prescriped me huge amount of oxazepam and no warnings and I took it only to panic attacks and soon I realised I was hooked and in shock what kind of drug it is and it turned against me and this terror and hell began) I woke up everyday happy and went for a walk with him, ate good breakfast and loved morning and afternoon coffee (now i have to drink decaf coffee) and listened to music and put make up and left to store, went many walks with my dog, seeing my partner, friends, running, doing home workouts (I don't want to go to gym because of covid, I used to work earlier in a gym over ten years and working out there but the job ended when the firm changed owners so I changed the gym where I went for workout but then covid started) being with my mom and brother's children. I had everything I needed even Iost a job, I learned to enjoy life without it.
And I was very grateful to God for many things everyday.
That was me.
Now I feel just suffer and am scared to death because this benzo hell has continued almost two years and up and low doses and after 1,5 years having doctors and nurses who said they don't know what is wrong with me because I can't understand (mri was fine) and be normal I finally had a doctor who listened to me and I said to her I want to try to get off with Ashton manual and she read it and is now saying (like one rehab clinic's worker who is calling and supporting me even I'm not their client, and my own drug specialized nurse, and psych nurse and two persons that have experienced this) brain lock is totally from benzo and witdrawl symptoms and will go away after zero in time.
But it is awful to be in prison with these tortuing drugs and knowing taper is making more symptoms and suffer and can't go even for walks, afraid of even taking trash out. Not knowing myself at all. And trying to do at least some yoga and breathing exercises to calm my CNS and GABA but there is not much to do in a day.
And I loved to clean often my home and now i fear even wash my clothes. I do clean home but it is pure forcing.
I'm totally exhausted and can't understand I need people to bring me food.
Because exposering myself to store with brain lock ended up always to awful terror and panic attacks in my mom's car. Agoraphobia and dr/dp are very bad. And I never had those.
And when I had those few good weeks when my brain started to function exposer helped and I could do anything.
So brain lock/shut down is the main problem and worsening agoraphobia and dp/dr (knowing benzos cause them itself also).
I'm so sorry for you to suffer and me to suffer. I pray God all the time to help and heal.
Life is so wonderful when you can be normal part of it.
I hope you all the best.
Why have you gone cold turkey,why not gradually wean yourself off?
I was ignorant regarding the need to taper. I didn’t do any research and I was also drugged out of my mind so I just went along with what the treatment center told me which was “we’ll keep you comfortable.” Comfortable they did not keep me.
God bless you, I am going through hell trying to get off of these :*( 10:26 yes
Hi Dave- I’m very sorry to hear that. Welcome to the community. We’re all here for you.
I am very sensitive to noise on these and have been trying to get off of them for years@@philosophicalfishing
I'm 2 months and 13 days off and getting worse
I’m sorry to hear that. Healing is definitely not linear for many of us. What are your worst symptoms?
I don’t understand your email, what is you mail adress??
You talk to quickly for me, I am sorry
Love from The Netherlands 🇳🇱