timestamps (for those who need it) 0:00 - 3:46 // no surprises by radiohead 3:47 - 7:14 // telephones by vacations 7:29 - 10:33 // i can't handle change by r.o.a.r 10:35 - 13:21 // i bet on losing dogs by mitski 13:22 - 18:39 // space song by beach house 18:40 - 22:12 // ykwim by yot club
HII TO EVERYONE WHO SEES THIS!!! IM DOING A LOT BETTER. STILL STRUGGLING A BIT BUT FEELING LOTS BETTER. I MIGHT BE FINALLY GOING TO SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST. 💕💕
@@pissandballs123 what about water hhmmm? Stay hydrated and it may be past or current issues ur dissociating from or people tell you that their lives are worse but y o u are important and so are y o u r problems no matter the size treat yourself like a friend bc you're mine ^^ ❤
Not knowing your favorite color seems like such a silly thing to be upset about... but that's not the upsetting part. The upsetting part is realizing you don't know anything anymore. "You know yourself better than we will do." Well, guess I'll never be able to find answers. I say I love purple, but I really don't care. I really don't know.
its not that I dont care or anything i just struggle to pick one that would seem the most relatable to the person asking me so we have smth "in common" and i cant say anything because ive thought of too many things and i best that can come out is a blend of words incoherently the best reaction i get is laughter so its ok
@@Silly_emi Yeah, that too. Or just deciding you like something someone else does even if you don't actually like that thing. I know doing that has caused me my fair share of existential crisis.
Even the color part is true.i always say i love purple but i feel like i just made something up for people asking my favorite color and it's not real.cuz i don't know the real one :(
i i have the same exact feelings i always say purple but is it really purple i mean its mot glack clack isnt a color its not ehite for the same reawonwm just purprle but is it neone purple pastel purple maybe its not purple at all maybe its lilac maybe sandalwood
Tbh it hurts when ur crying or venting then someone says that "I have depression and anxiety and I'm stressed I get bullied so much" it's like they're flexing :/
Dude fr my life ain’t bad, it’s just my thoughts are messing me up. I’m the most positive person on the outside because i try to be like that mentally as well but i just can’t go on a single day without a thought of doing something stupid, i have my life planned out already, i have friends that love me, i got everything going for me. My ex had broken up w me around July and i can’t seem to move on from that mentally. FYI, she was my first gf (i’m 18), i gave her everything and she never treated me w much respect if i’m being honest, there should be no reason why i still care about her, i should be glad that i’m not w her anymore, every single day i want to message her but i know that’s simply not smart, i wish the worst for her, i don’t know what is going on in w me. No one in my life knows how negative i’ve been to myself mentally, i just wish i had someone to comfortably talk to in person but at the same time i know they’ll say that my life doesn’t sound bad. My life is not that bad, but i can’t seem to know why this feeling is here.
Hey it's okay if you don't want to, but honesty this was so relatable in a way. I've been struggling with my mental health for a few years now, besides the fact that I have two caring parents that love each other, a bunch of sweet friends and I get good grades. Not a single soul knew, not even my (only at the time) boyfriend. A few weeks ago I survived a suicide attempt, and not even five days after that my boyfriend broke up with me, even though he knew I was at my lowest. Thanks to that though, I met someone who genuinely makes me so happy, and really has helped me through a lot these past few weeks. So I just figured I'd put up the offer. I wouldn't mind adding you on some of socials if you need anyone to speak with. It's honestly been helping me so much to have that person in my life. And your situation just reminded me a lot of my own, so if you're comfortable enough, feel free to lmk.
this is silly to say, but i want someone that will talk to me and check up/care for me like a parental figure, even if we are the same age I just want someone to care for me, my parents never really did and i think my friends dont like me anymore i feel alone almost all of the time
Hey how are you doing You're doing great, trust me I can tell that you are strong, brave, smart, and absolutely gorgeous, and you can do it I know it's hard but you will survive and live and find someone who can truly be there for you, I'm sorry they aren't here now and I wish I could comfort you but I can only try through our screens Keep trucking along and it will be ok idk when but please keep your head up
Hey! i know im late, but ive been in the same position as you and although i dont know you, i will try my best. Hiya champ! how was school today? Ah, something stirring up today? .... dont let it discourage you, youll do so much better next time. Remember, life isnt about perfection, its about developing yourself as a person. Enough of the negativity. What did you do today? .... WOAH! thats amazing! your amazing! Thats what im talking about! What an amazing thing you got/did! Honestly, you worked hard for that, and got it! Now why dont we have a little chat? ... Tell me about your day. All the ups and downs, the lefts and rights. Tell me what might be troubling you, or maybe something your proud of that you achieved today! is there a sport you do? an instrument you play? or maybe even just a hobby you enjoy! Tell me everything, whatever makes you happy. ... I hope to learn how to be as good as you one day! hard work sure pays off, doesent it? Now, how about you go get a drink of water. A big glass full, and a small snack. My favorite is crackers and cheese, but you can have whatever you feel like eating! ... Great choice! Ill add that to my list, and give it a try. Now, what i want you to do, is just take a moment, and close your eyes. find a playlist to listen to, and just forget about all your worries. Take deep breaths, and focus on the music. Envision it in your mind, here ill give you an example: 13:48 Your running in a field. each step you take, flowers of every color bloom underneath you. As the sun sets, a comforting warmth overcomes you. a gentle dappled sky of purple and orange reflects off the pond which you now reach. Why dont you try? ...... (Remember, theres always someone out there watching over you. Although it might not be clear at first, i will always be here for you. Even if i dont know you, i understand you. I understand the situation your going through, and the comfort you need. Take care of yourself champ, have a great rest of your day/night!)
to the person reading this, It’s been hard for you, I know, and it makes me sad that you don’t see yourself in the way I see you. Sometimes they are things in life that cause us to lose ourselves, and the way you have is so unimaginable painful. I miss your smile, the way your eyes light up the whole room just by the sound of your laughter. I miss the way you accepted the way you look in the mirror without cursing yourself out about how ugly you look. I miss the way you didn’t think of yourself as a failure because everyone makes mistakes, we all have flaws and we all aren’t perfect. It’s painful to see that no one around you seems to see the pain through your eyes, but, stranger, I do, I see how heavy your heart is and how comforting the sadness for you might be, how afraid your heart is of happiness because it disappears in the end, right? You don’t know how much impact you have in this world and it’s sad to see that your demons fight against you and want to take over you. Because you do make a change, it’s something so simple and little that brightens up someone’s whole world, it can be a small smile from your lips, the way you look at things you’re passionate about, the way you make yourself eat even though it’s been hard for you lately, the way you zoom out and go in your own world, you brighten up my world by reading this, it means a lot to me that you’re here, existing, but I don’t want you to just exist, you deserve to feel alive. You deserve to get up in the morning and feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel something- to feel every damn second alive in this lifetime. It’s heartbreaking that you think you’re not capable of being loved because you are, I love you through all my words and I hope you let it happen in your heart. Love is scary, I know, maybe your heart had been broken once and since then you wanted to be rather numb than feel ever again, it hurts me how you punish yourself, does it not deserve love? Because YOU DO deserve love, please forgive yourself, it’s not your fault that the demons want to take over your beautiful heart. You’re not a bad person for distancing yourself from others, but you deserve someone to talk to, you deserve someone to listen. I am listening, you can tell me what’s wrong. It’s everything, isn’t it? There’s something pulling your heartstrings on the ground and no one seems to understand how misunderstood you feel, it’s heartbreaking to know that I am behind the screen and can’t give you a hug, that’s why I will give you a big warm virtual hug and send you lots of love :). You matter. You are worthy. You are loved. You deserve good things. You deserve someone to listen. You deserve to eat and drink. You deserve to feel good and alive. You deserve to smile. You deserve a hug. You deserve to be all the things you want to be because you deserve to have and feel good things happening to you and have a fulfilled life. I know I might not know you personally but I care about you so much, I write this because I want you to stay here with me, I want you to hold on a little longer because you matter so much to me, because I will not let you give up on yourself. I want you to see that you should not give up on yourself because you DESERVE GOOD THINGS. I want you to look back on the time when you were a kid, you didn’t give up when you tried to swim for the first time, you didn’t give up when you tried to walk for the first time and fell, you never gave up on yourself, you always kept on pushing forwards, so why can’t you now? I know it’s tiring, your mentally tired, but don't your younger self deserve good things? look back at your eyes that used to be full of hope, look back on those dreams. Don’t let yourself fall, you deserve better. We will both fight, I will fight for you. I won’t let those demons get to you. You can hold on to me, I won’t let you down :). Whenever you feel lonely, then look at the sky, I always look at it and think about you. Yes, you, because it makes me happy that there’s someone looking right back, maybe we can’t see each other but I can feel your presence here with me and that’s enough for me because I am glad your heart is beating and you’re still fighting. You’re so much stronger thank you think, you didn’t leave your spot on this earth even if you wanted to, you belong here, even though it doesn’t feel like it when you don’t feel like belonging then build your own home here, put all your love in it and dreams. Think of you as a star when you feel alone, you shine because your heart is good, no matter what mistake you made, no matter about the past you had, you’re one of the stars that shine bright in the universe because you’re heart is beautiful, that’s why the demons in your mind want to have it. As one of the stars you see other stars, maybe they have felt the same way as you do at some point in their life, but they lighten up the universe with each other’s presence. You’re a star for me, maybe you don’t see it yourself but I can see it, you’re beautiful from inside and out, your body is beautiful the way it is. You make me happy by reading this, you make me feel something by your presence, and when you can make me feel that way then you also make other people feel that way about you too. I hope you stay for yourself and don’t let your story get written by others but by yourself, it’s your story, not theirs. As you can see, I say a lot of “I hope” because I have hope for you even if you don’t have it for yourself, I see hope in you even though you might want to give up. That’s why I hope you won’t see the world in darkness and will see it colorful again, I hope I will give you a glimpse of hope and make the world you see a bit colorful for today. My favorite color is yellow, and I hope the next time you see the color yellow you will think about my words. If someone left you then don’t blame yourself, don’t think you weren’t enough, don’t lower yourself for someone who couldn’t see the awesomeness in you. If you lost someone I am so sorry for your loss, they want you happy, I hope you don’t feel guilty or regret because you were there, you spend enough time with them, they want you to be happy. They are in a good and safe place now. If someone broke your heart then I am so sorry that they couldn’t see the way you look so beautiful because of the heart you have. Anyone who gets to be with you doesn’t know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they are :). If you aren’t accepted at home or in general then I am so sorry that you have to deal with someone/ something you shouldn’t be ashamed of, I accept you and support you, I accept you as a human being no matter what race, religion, nationality, skin color, or sexuality you have. You’re safe here with me :). You’re not useless, you’re not a burden to anyone. You’re not a problem, you’re human and your feelings are valid. You’re not being dramatic. Please don’t starve yourself, you deserve food and to drink, I know it’s hard. It hurts to see that you’re in so much pain :( you deserve so much man, don’t let your emotions control you. Don’t let them get the best of you. I am sorry no one is noticing, I wish /hope I could take your pain away for today or even for a moment while you’re reading this. If no one told you, I am so proud of you, you’re reading this and it’s enough for me to be proud of you because you’re here and that’s all that matters to me. If it’s the night for you, go to sleep, I know it’s hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, don’t let them fight you. If it’s the day for you, don’t start it with such sad music, I know it’s impossible to have a good day with such a mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water every day in the morning, and so on. You will start building little healthy habits. If it’s the evening for you, you’re probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know it’s okay to feel the way you feel. You don’t need to be scared, of course, you’re overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldn’t? But it’s important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self-care, such as taking a bath for example? You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed. And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that you’re so strong for breathing despite the pain, I know you will make it :) I believe in you. All I want for you is to stay here, I really mean all my words, even if there is a lot of unsaid things I want to tell u and my text is getting longer and longer, I want you here. I hope one day your smile will become a genuine one where you don’t need to fake it anymore because I can’t say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. You’re worth more than every fucking cent in this world. You can let go for today, I got you, you can cry your heart out as much as you want, but don’t let it tear you down and let your emotions control you by giving up. Crying is not a weakness. If you still feel alone I dedicate you to a song as your friend. “Dusk till Dawn- Zayn feat. Sia (I prefer the slow version)” I hope you can think of me and will remind yourself of my words, I will for sure think of you. In case no one told you and you’re unsure yourself, you’re a good person and I am so happy you’re here. I hope this is enough to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. Enough with beating yourself up for today, okay? Life for those who couldn’t smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like there’s no other, hug-like it's your last one. If you read all of it, until tomorrow my friend :) have a good day and a great year. Not mine but u can spread it :)
thank you so much for your kind words💖 it started to get harder to read with tears welling up in my eyes, i hope i can let go of this self negativity and doubt and fear. and i hope everyone here feels loved because i love you and i wish you the whole universe🤗 you're amazing and i'm proud of you for being here😊
Honestly, it's okay to not know your favourite colour or to not even have one. We all lose things every now and then, part of the fun is finding them again. I didn't know a thing about myself in the deepest depths of my depression and, once I started recovering from my you-know-what attempt, I realised I knew nothing about me. Learning about yourself is one of the nicest parts of slowly getting better, bit by bit. You don't need a favourite colour to be a kind, loving and worthy person. I still don't even know what my favourite animal is but I look forward to the day that I find out :) I know it's easier said than done but keep your chin up - it might feel like you have nothing but you will always have hope and hope can change everything :)
I literally dont HAVE my favourite anything. Its like everything has become indifferent and meaningless :/ The worst part is that my life is going pretty "well" I guess?
You dont have any problems. Theres nothing wrong with you. Its just the world around you, that seem to have a problem. You are perfect the way you are, and dont need to change, stay strong out there!
HOWD YOU KNOW IDK MY FAVORITE COLOR ANYMORE??? im a person terrified of change, and for as long as i can remember its been green. i feel bad changing it, idk.
the best part abt these playlist's is that no matter how u feel when u put it on it will still make u feel sad on the inside even if everything is ok. Then your thoughts get to you and u start thinking abt your life. You begin to realize a lot more abt ur self and start to rlly become sad. Then u listen to multiple of these kinds of playlists and the crying starts. Then you sit alone in ur room hopeless feeling an insane amount of pain and usefulness. Then u read the comments while listening to the music in the background feeling a bit better abt yourself and then move on w/ ur day.
This reminds me of when I was younger and too broken to remember all the actual bad things that happened to me. I would lay in bed feeling like my life wasn't so bad. Not until I got older I remembered. Oh shit my life is bad! I don't know if remembering such things is equating to healing. I feel more insane and ready to redact myself than before especially since now that I'm back in school I have realized the extent of my loneliness and how unrecognizable I am. Granted I entered without anyone (sort of). But it hurts to see everyone immediately have friends and speak to each other. Especially when this summer sucked for me because I lost my only close best friend who was online of 4 years who could care less of me now. To be honest they always had, I just never noticed how easy it was for them to move on. I blame myself for that... Even if they lied to me. And I wonder if I should really accept such loneliness, it's been so long and I'm just so attention starved as a human. It annoys me because I don't want to bother others. And I speak a lot as well when I meet people online or not online that I bother them anyways. I'm just annoyed of being a ghost everywhere I go. At the same time I can't imagine what to do if I finally was noticed. It really has been so long... I still don't know my favorite color. I think I just like having none. And I'm fine with that.
my bsf has an extremely hard life and me who's had barley nothing compared to her still often feels extremely sad and stressed so I relate to the image alot :(
Not depressed like most of the people here, but God I wish I had someone to vent to. Everyone around me loves to talk about their problems, but I don't want it to seem like me saying "my problems are worse." because they aren't worse. I have it way better than my friends. But even if they're not as bad as my friend's problems, it still hurts. I feel like everyone trusts me but I can't trust anyone else in the entire world. I only have one friend that I would ever be comfortable venting to, but she vents to me about being the therapist friend and I could never add that stress to her. This feels inescapable and I wish I didn't have so much of a problem with trust. I've been in highschool for a whole month and a half, and I still haven't made a single conversation that wasnt small talk. Everybody there already has close friends, everybody there has someone to go to about problems. I'm the only one sitting alone at lunch, watching everyone else laugh and have conversations, while I sit there listening to songs that are like these. Everybody that I know has a closer friend, I'm nobody's #1, I'm never the first choice. Even last year when I had a friend they always picked anyone but me. I tried to be their partner for projects but I was never fast enough. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me but I hate myself for it. Then my brother pokes at every little thing I do, he makes fun of me for struggling with friends ,hes telling me to stop eating so much when I'm not even overweight, he makes fun of what I like, and then when I get upset my mom said he is right and "just trying to help me" her okay I wasn't aware that making fun of me for not having any close friends at school would magically make me have friends at school! Wow thanks for actually nothing. I don't even remember really much of anything from 1st grade to 7th grade, but in 8th I met the friend mentioned first. She's great. She's the only friend I feel like I can truly be myself around that isn't online. She actually made me laugh and smile, when in 7th I just remember planning my suicide and feeling like I was watching everybody around me from a different planet, but now i don't want to really die anymore. She makes me feel like a human and not an alien that everyone was forced to be around. But I'm scared because she talks about how her family is talking about moving to Mexico. Without her Id be alone all over again and go back into that cycle. I don't want to feel like I want to die, but I don't think that I'd be able to see that if she left. Before her I can't remember much, but I remember some. I remember always being bullied, tripped, having balls thrown at me, and they even made making fun of me into a game that everybody but my one friend participated in. Yknow what the teacher said? That I was lying and it wasn't happening. No adult believed me nor did anything about it. And my friends wonder why I never trust anyone enough to open up about it. If the teachers actually did something my life would be so different. But no, had to ignore it. Now look at me, having one truly close friend that I don't even know will stay with me.
alright, a little vent here- I don't know what am I gonna do in the future anymore, it's always the same routine, there are slight moments of less pain, but I do always feel tired and empty. Just wanna feel good again y'know
My life is not that bad its just i dont know i fell so ducking empty. Nothing makes me happy anymore i can't enjoy things that i liked in the past. I when i cry my mom ask me why im crying. I dont know i feel stressed and just overwhelmed. I don't know what to do anymore
The image is so relatable, but that’s the bad thing It’s like “why am I sad? Other people have bigger problems, having to find food for your family jus to survive, having to run away from a abusive family.” All my friends have worse lives than me but I still feel so bad, my family’s amazing, it just feels like “am I overeacting? Am I just being selfish?” I’m not even depressed but when I lay in my bed at night and just think about my life it hits harder than it should. All my friends have other friends I’m just like a replacement for each of them I’ll always try to partner with them but somehow they already have other friends, I’m too young I’m about to leave elementary school(6th grade) but I still am afraid of the change, I know there will be a bunch of popular girls but they are still kind, how I know that? I know them but I’m not even their #1 friend, it kinda feels like I’ll never be anyone’s #1, my parents, my siblings, my friends, heck, even my grandparents. They always get to be someone else’s #1 but I’ll just be taking up space. I raised both of my younger siblings *and* maybe even parents (they’re not messed up or anything, they just are kinda Karen’s and are needed to be put on a leash, in a loving way like I’m trying to protect them from getting hurt) one other thing is my friends don’t even tell me anything, I know abt their horrible home lives, I could never be as strong as them to go through what they’re going through but in my friend group it works like this, there’s 6 people and three of them vent to each other abt their problems(they are the ones who mostly have the most messed up lives) me and my other friend(L) just have each other to count on(not that we can’t count on the others) and we don’t even have any *real problems* the four friends(M, J, T, and Lu) always tell each other their problems, I feel like they think that since me and L don’t have a messed up home life that we won’t be trustworthy. It’s like I get that M, T, J, and Lu are depressed and shi but me and L would still like to be their friends, we won’t get a chance to prove that we’ll be able to listen to them if they don’t tell us. I’m not trying to be selfish and mean, I’m really not but I just wish they’d trust us more. L and M, the closest in the group to me are each other’s best friends and I always get left behind, I’m not like “would trust with my life” close with the others in the group and besides they are kinda perverts and racists so I don’t like them As much but I still like them so I’m kinda stuck. I’m fr no ones number one:(
I rlly like pink but i hate the fact that i doubt myself so much that i genuinely start to think that ill never achieve anything great and die as a nobody anyways, wbu?
Little vent that I didn't even intend to be a vent lol: I'm honestly blessed to be able to say that my depression is the best it's ever been. However, I still have bad moments, bad days, bad nights. These kinds of playlist remind me that it's okay to be sad and it's okay to vent, even if it's just to yourself. Right now I'm in a rut - I've felt really bad the past, like, 3-4 days. I'm just falling back into some of depression's tricks really. I've been back to thinking my life isn't worth much and that I'm not accomplishing anything. I haven't become the person I always wanted to be. But then, I sit back and I look at myself and have a think. I may not be x, y or z but I am the closest to happy I have ever been. I stayed up so many nights sobbing to the moon, praying for nothing but happiness. It took years but now it's in my grasp yet I'm ungrateful. I have to remember sometimes that, though I'm not some social big-shot, I have done everything I set out to do for myself. I still worry about people's opinions and judgement of me and that has always been my downfall but, when it comes down to it, I've achieved the one thing I cried and cried over for so long. I am just a bit scared to be honest - I don't want to live a "normal" life where I work 8 hours a day, come home to a family I hate and sit up at night in regret. I want to be happy and I am but I'm not happy by other people's standards because I have very few friends and very little money to my name. In a way, other people assuming I SHOULD be depressed actually makes me depressed. I never knew that other people would end up being the biggest obstacle in my happiness - it used to always just be me getting in the way of myself. Life's never easy but it always figures itself out in the end, I suppose.
I personally would say ‘well my life isn’t that bad’ but it is. My father physically and mentally abused my family when we lived with him. He would throw things at me and my brother, and would yell at us all a lot. Then we discovered that he does heavy drugs. We also found 12-13 knives scattered around the house, most of which weren’t even ours. Then we left him and my mum filed a restraining order for 5 years and a divorce, but father wouldn’t sign the divorce papers since he would say ‘you’re taking my children away from me!!’ to my mum. We moved 4 hours away from him, so I lost all of my contact with friends. Then later that year I turned 10, and.. well… father forgot my birthday… he didn’t call or message for my birthday, not that I would have really cared anyway. Then we moved into a house with a step family, but it turns out some of the step siblings bullied me, and step father was greedy and cheated on my mum. So we left there, and moved into a new house a bit further away from there. The old step siblings would still bully me at school, and we also lived in a really sketchy area with a lot of drug dealers, so we moved again. This time we moved 4 hours away again I think (short term memory loss kicking in here), so I lost my old friends from my old school, but I made new friends there. But at this school I got fat shamed every day, with kids calling me a ‘fat whore’ or a ‘fat bitch’ and other incredibly mean names, and I was 12 then. Then after that year we got kicked out of our home because the real estate agent didn’t like us, unfair I know. So now we moved 2 hours away, and that’s where I live currently. Since moving I lost all my friends, again. But I still have one friend from my old school, her name is Mikayla and she’s a really nice friend. Well, now I don’t do school, because school gave me extremely bad social anxiety, so now all I do is just sit in my room and listen to music, and I also turned 13 a couple days ago on the 28th of September. And now my father finally signed the divorce papers, but the only downside is, because my father was abusive, my brother (16 almost 17) picked up on it and used to abuse me a lot last year, he threatened to kill me twice, tried suffocating me with a mattress, and would throw things at me. Well, now he doesn’t hit me anymore but he still yells at me a lot if I do things wrong. And I got an amazing girlfriend yesterday, and I couldn’t be happier that I got her. Oh and, on my birthday, it was my first birthday that I hadn’t cried of sadness, since all of my birthdays end in me crying in my room. But this year that wasn’t the case. I also got to call my ‘father’ and tell him about how much of an asshole he is. And now, I’m depressed, have really bad social anxiety, and have only 1 real life friend. My girlfriend lives across the country sadly, but I wish to meet her as soon as I can. I love her so much and I hope we never have to separate. Bella, if you see this, I love you so much and please never leave me, you are the best girlfriend I’ve ever had, I don’t care if the people around you are homophonic, I will never leave you. Well there it is, that’s my life since I was around 7-13, I hope you have a lovely day, and quick note: music is my best friend :)
the image is relatable af 😭 but really, I think that's only because the world itself is imperfect. our life may be okay, but the world is still crumbling away around us, and the more we realize that the sadder we get.
ughakmsd its so comforting to see people going through the same thing as you. Ive realized recently, I really dont know anything about myself. Im scared. Who am I if I dont even know, I try so hard to put myself under a label even if I know I should just stop and accept myself. No one ever understood me, so maybe if I understood myself, it'll get better.
lol to be honest, everything about me is fake. I make stuff up for people to like me better, I honestly don't know what I like and dislike anymore. Internet ruined my past-self's innocent.
my mom wants me to see a therapist again. i had one last year, but it didnt help at all and it only caused me to be stressed over what i should or shouldnt say. i lied about not being suicidal, i lied about not doing self harm, and i lied about being mentally stable. now, my suicidal thoughts have become worse. even though i got the most amazing friends and boyfriend, my mental state is also getting worse. i dont want help, it doesnt work anyways, i dont want to tell my stories to a person who i dont know, it makes me uncomfortable. my friends are better therapists than the professionals. i feel like my life isnt that bad, and that i have no reason to feel this way. my attachment issues are so bad that i cry when i cant talk to my boyfriend for a day my school is making me feel even worse because i got told today that i might not stay in the same class as my friend, which is the only person i have in that school. i hate everything and i want to kms but i cant, and i feel like its not worth it
Me: *saw the title* Also me: So my favorite color isn't black bc it would be too emo but it's not pink either bc its too girly and gives off barbie vibes for me and purple is like " Oh yOu aRe sTuCk iN 2018?" or " did you choose this to be different?" but blue is like OMG UR A AQUARIUS???? even tho I'm cancer so it might be yellow but I'm not always cheerful and happy but green is too nature for me and orange is just "no." for me and red gives me American vibes and white is too plain and grey is like someone would always be having a fake smile and would listen to depressing songs. So I have no clue what my favorite color is lol Have a good day :>
I mean, yeah, it's not a big thing, but if I don't know that, if I don't care about that, then what do i care about, and that photo is more relatable than the music, which is pretty relatable
Okay, I’m not really gonna vent but I do wonder, for people like me who don’t know anything any more, when someone ask “what’s your favorite color” what color do you normally say? I say purple
That's a good question. Why am i sad. Do I deserve to be sad because there are people right now fighting for their country dieing. Some are forced to fight. So why. Why am i so useless like this? Why can't I just do anything. I'm a terrible sister big sister to my sibling. I can't even get over a small thing I couldn't even win her anything for her. She doesn't deserve someone like me with anger issues. No one does my mom didn't have to have me I should've died in her stomach like I was supposed to. Why did i have to be born into this hell I hate life who's with me? Sometimes I wish I didn't stop myself from drowning the the pool. I wish I stayed there. But my friend will be left alone after. I can't leave him alone or my family. I don't even care about myself I just want my family to be happy I just want them to have a good life without me existing I'm just useless trash crying in the living room. I'm just extra weight on my mom's back. I wish my grandma on my mom's side killed me I wish I died faster I'm scared to die but I want to do it. At least do it fast so I don't feel pain or do it slow I don't know anymore someone help me I'm in extreme stress my mom said I can talk to her but I don't think i can trust anyone anymore I don't even know myself anymore I hate people I hate everyone I just wish I died and no one cared so I can die without people feeling sad. (Sorry I vented without permission I just wanted to let that all out there might be spelling mistakes I type fast when I'm upset or sad. Bye
i mean i don’t think my life is necessarily bad i think it’s just me and the fact i feel so alone and don’t get that same love back as i give to others, i think i’m mostly the problem and i just feel so sad all the time because deep down i truly hate myself ontop of the stress of school and life,
|Vent| I'm so sick of everything, ever since school started I've been stressing about everything. My parents have unreal expectations set for me, whenever I do something good I'm just meeting the expectations, whenever I do something bad I get slapped and get everything taken away from me, and get yelled at. My friends just make fun of me for it and they think I'm attention seeking when I really don't even know basic things about myself anymore, like- I honestly don't know my favorite color anymore and I can't make decisions without thinking I'll do something wrong, I always get blamed for no reason no matter what happens and I'm honestly thinking of ending it all
vent! -- idkw im so sad all the time, i have alright friends, online friends a decent family, an amazing partner, i just feel like theres a huge whole in my heart, thats just- empty or something i cant get rid of- aswell as my mind tells me guesses of people that dont like me and that i should shut up, it sucks
Why i feel my feet getting colder and colder?. I feel like i aint enough for the people who surround me. I dont want to feel this anymore,I hate being ashammed of myself all time.but im going to live like this till i die or force me to,because i cant live with this feeling anymore.:(
I'm losing it. I'm sorry I was heartless, I'm sorry I was toxic.. I- it just hurt. I didn't mean to hurt them, yet I did. I feel so numb and heartless, I don't.. I do not wish to be alone again. I'm sorry, old friend.. though I hurt you I know its mostly for the best. We hurt each other too much, and we fight too much, i'm.. just so done.
I think my favorite color is still purple but I don’t always pick the purple option. And my favorite isn’t blue, but I do like teal. But is that really my favorite color? I know that pastel colors are cute, and I like cute things, but I have no clue what is really what I think and what is me trying to copy the people I like.
i always say orange. no, it isn’t because i’m a ginger and no it isn’t because i’m an arsonist. so many people make fun of me for my hair and my last name and say “Oh well you like orange because you are a funny little orange hahaha” like gods. i know im ginger. every day i want to cut my head off or shave my head or dye it red with my blood or i dont even know i am going insane underneath everything but you know haha 😆
like fr tho my life isn't bad but I'm just sad and empty like my thoughts and empty ness is eating away at my soul and I just want to be that happy positive person all the time but i can't
ok this is my furst vent but ill try my best. when i was in elementery school i had gf ik too young but whatever. i loved and still do but she dosent and so there was one kid in our class i was writing her a confess letter while the teacher was explaining something the letter was like this "look ik that we brok3 up like 2 years before but please give me a second chance everybody" desserve a second chance right (we had brokwn up and still are bcz my dumbass thought she was cheating one cuz a friend said she was long story short she wasnt) and the i still wasnt finnished writing but my bully took the note and gave it to her and the ripped it and now she hates me bcz i cant stand up to myself. Am i in the bad bcz i feel like its my fault i just want somebody to even just care for me like i feel sometimes even my family and friend hate me. the sad part is that me and my mom used to be so close but now i feel we are drifting away and probably all of my class hate me but i always try to stay possitive on the outside but aomw days i just lie locked in the bathroom crying my eyes out
haha i want a check up by a parent or friend but i cant because it selfish and attention seeking so i now stay up in bed wondering if my "friends" acc like me im starting to doubt they do tho, im trying rlly hard to talk in convos but i cant hear anything so i just sit there akwardly haha currently 2:33 AM as im writing this out
Is transparency a color? We can see colors through it, but, is it really a color? Or just something that let's color go through? It has colors, but they just go through.
I can't go a single day with out telling my self "why am I crying my life is great I have it better then a lot of people" not realizing that I don't my life sucks I can't go a day with out crying,without telling my self I am not ugly, I am not fat, I am not a failure,mistake,stupid, and I can't forget the comments that I get about my body because I am lager them others so I am "fat" and all the comments about it I just want life to end very short I want it to end right now
I don’t know where I went wrong… what did I say?,do?. I don’t know what I did.. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. I don’t know when this pain will end I don’t know when my lonely, lazy self will get a girlfriend I’m unlovable I don’t deserve love or any attention. I’m unfunny People don’t care about me I am just a loser and a little shit I don’t deserve to live Everyone hates seeing me alive I’m a mistake I should die I’m weird Every hates me I’d be better off dead I’m worthless I’m nothing People hate me and hope I should die I hope I don’t wake up again I’m just a little loser Why am I so short? Why am I such a disappointment? No girl would ever date me I hope this all ends soon This all needs to end, one way or not wether suicide or something else. This needs to end
Hello secretserbi! lovely profile picture by the way! I just want to let you know, your not unlovable, i love you you deserve all the love and attention in the world, which is what i want to give you your funny, everyone around you just has terrible humor i care about you your not a loser, your a winner by staying strong, and your not a little shit, nor will you ever be You deserve every right to live, you deserve it all Not everyone, the happiest thing in the world for me were to just know that your safe and sound. your not a mistake, and although you might make some, its just the way you learn and grow as a person. you should not die. do not die. you still have so much to live for. ill be here for you. your not weird, just the people around you dont understand your perfections. i dont hate you you will not be better off dead, you will just be transferring the pain to someone else who loves you. (me) Your not worthless Your not nothing I dont hate you, i dont want you to die. Live, live for me, live for the sake of living, live for yourself I hope you wake up, to find that theres people in this world who adore you Your not a little loser Theres nothing wrong with being short, if people cant fall in love with you for the way you are, then that isnt love your not a disappointment. you still being here, is all the achievements youll ever need i would date you. honestly, i would, and so will many others, you just have to keep looking. i hope this all ends for you, but not in the way of death. please, if you have discord, just send me a request. let me talk to you and help you. death is irreversible, dont make that mistake. i love you. stay strong for me. discord: Fishy#2005
Okay- my mother is great and my father is great- I live a good life- but Im acting horrible towards everyone. I really want to say nice things but I can't- everything that comes out of my mouth is so toxic! Atleast towards my mother- she doesn't deserve it. I really do live a good life- and my mom doesn't say no to me often- I'm sorry I just really needed to vent. If anyone has any advice I'd be very happy to hear it!
timestamps (for those who need it)
0:00 - 3:46 // no surprises by radiohead
3:47 - 7:14 // telephones by vacations
7:29 - 10:33 // i can't handle change by r.o.a.r
10:35 - 13:21 // i bet on losing dogs by mitski
13:22 - 18:39 // space song by beach house
18:40 - 22:12 // ykwim by yot club
HII TO EVERYONE WHO SEES THIS!!! IM DOING A LOT BETTER. STILL STRUGGLING A BIT BUT FEELING LOTS BETTER. I MIGHT BE FINALLY GOING TO SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST. 💕💕
real.
@@iiaiaiaiaiiyay
Why is the picture so relatable 😭
same😭
Fr💀💀
like actually!! i have food and a couch to sleep on, so why am i still so depressed??
@@pissandballs123 what about water hhmmm? Stay hydrated and it may be past or current issues ur dissociating from or people tell you that their lives are worse but y o u are important and so are y o u r problems no matter the size treat yourself like a friend bc you're mine ^^ ❤
Yeah like
"I'm laying in on a comfortable bed, had something to eat, have a roof over my head, a normal life,
But why do I feel like shit"
Not knowing your favorite color seems like such a silly thing to be upset about... but that's not the upsetting part. The upsetting part is realizing you don't know anything anymore. "You know yourself better than we will do." Well, guess I'll never be able to find answers.
I say I love purple, but I really don't care. I really don't know.
its not that I dont care or anything i just struggle to pick one that would seem the most relatable to the person asking me so we have smth "in common" and i cant say anything because ive thought of too many things and i best that can come out is a blend of words incoherently
the best reaction i get is laughter so its ok
@@Silly_emi Yeah, that too. Or just deciding you like something someone else does even if you don't actually like that thing. I know doing that has caused me my fair share of existential crisis.
My favorite color is purple too but i don't know now and i don't care there is many problems that just bangs in my head it hurts
Even the color part is true.i always say i love purple but i feel like i just made something up for people asking my favorite color and it's not real.cuz i don't know the real one :(
i
i have the same exact feelings
i always say purple
but
is it really purple
i mean its mot glack
clack isnt a color
its not ehite
for the same reawonwm
just
purprle
but is it neone purple
pastel purple
maybe its not purple at all
maybe its lilac
maybe sandalwood
Tbh it hurts when ur crying or venting then someone says that "I have depression and anxiety and I'm stressed I get bullied so much" it's like they're flexing :/
mood, I have someone like that
Dude fr my life ain’t bad, it’s just my thoughts are messing me up.
I’m the most positive person on the outside because i try to be like that mentally as well but i just can’t go on a single day without a thought of doing something stupid, i have my life planned out already, i have friends that love me, i got everything going for me. My ex had broken up w me around July and i can’t seem to move on from that mentally.
FYI, she was my first gf (i’m 18), i gave her everything and she never treated me w much respect if i’m being honest, there should be no reason why i still care about her, i should be glad that i’m not w her anymore, every single day i want to message her but i know that’s simply not smart, i wish the worst for her, i don’t know what is going on in w me.
No one in my life knows how negative i’ve been to myself mentally, i just wish i had someone to comfortably talk to in person but at the same time i know they’ll say that my life doesn’t sound bad.
My life is not that bad, but i can’t seem to know why this feeling is here.
Hey it's okay if you don't want to, but honesty this was so relatable in a way. I've been struggling with my mental health for a few years now, besides the fact that I have two caring parents that love each other, a bunch of sweet friends and I get good grades. Not a single soul knew, not even my (only at the time) boyfriend.
A few weeks ago I survived a suicide attempt, and not even five days after that my boyfriend broke up with me, even though he knew I was at my lowest. Thanks to that though, I met someone who genuinely makes me so happy, and really has helped me through a lot these past few weeks.
So I just figured I'd put up the offer. I wouldn't mind adding you on some of socials if you need anyone to speak with. It's honestly been helping me so much to have that person in my life. And your situation just reminded me a lot of my own, so if you're comfortable enough, feel free to lmk.
@@malikat.ostergaard7075 yes that’d be great, do you have instagram by any chance?
@@JewPen_ I do yes, @malister1010
Ok but same? Like exactly the same the ex thing and everything. Get made fun of for dating him too so yeah doing great though. 🥲
Your heartbroken
You know a playlist is going to be good when it starts with such a strong hitter like Radiohead, especially songs like No Surprises
I love radiohead, ill try making a new playlist with lots of their songs xx, stay safe
this is silly to say, but i want someone that will talk to me and check up/care for me like a parental figure, even if we are the same age
I just want someone to care for me, my parents never really did and i think my friends dont like me anymore
i feel alone almost all of the time
Hey, it's not silly at all. I might not be the right person but wanting someone to just be there is valid
@@puff-pastries210 thanks :) /gen
Hey how are you doing
You're doing great, trust me I can tell that you are strong, brave, smart, and absolutely gorgeous, and you can do it
I know it's hard but you will survive and live and find someone who can truly be there for you, I'm sorry they aren't here now and I wish I could comfort you but I can only try through our screens
Keep trucking along and it will be ok idk when but please keep your head up
Hey! i know im late, but ive been in the same position as you and although i dont know you, i will try my best.
Hiya champ! how was school today? Ah, something stirring up today?
....
dont let it discourage you, youll do so much better next time. Remember, life isnt about perfection, its about developing yourself as a person. Enough of the negativity. What did you do today?
....
WOAH! thats amazing! your amazing! Thats what im talking about! What an amazing thing you got/did! Honestly, you worked hard for that, and got it! Now why dont we have a little chat?
...
Tell me about your day. All the ups and downs, the lefts and rights. Tell me what might be troubling you, or maybe something your proud of that you achieved today! is there a sport you do? an instrument you play? or maybe even just a hobby you enjoy! Tell me everything, whatever makes you happy.
...
I hope to learn how to be as good as you one day! hard work sure pays off, doesent it? Now, how about you go get a drink of water. A big glass full, and a small snack. My favorite is crackers and cheese, but you can have whatever you feel like eating!
...
Great choice! Ill add that to my list, and give it a try. Now, what i want you to do, is just take a moment, and close your eyes. find a playlist to listen to, and just forget about all your worries. Take deep breaths, and focus on the music. Envision it in your mind, here ill give you an example:
13:48
Your running in a field. each step you take, flowers of every color bloom underneath you. As the sun sets, a comforting warmth overcomes you. a gentle dappled sky of purple and orange reflects off the pond which you now reach.
Why dont you try?
......
(Remember, theres always someone out there watching over you. Although it might not be clear at first, i will always be here for you. Even if i dont know you, i understand you. I understand the situation your going through, and the comfort you need. Take care of yourself champ, have a great rest of your day/night!)
Hey how are u today
I’m very proud of you and your not silly for wanting someone to care about you I feel the same :)
to the person reading this,
It’s been hard for you, I know, and it makes me sad that you don’t see yourself in the way I see you. Sometimes they are things in life that cause us to lose ourselves, and the way you have is so unimaginable painful. I miss your smile, the way your eyes light up the whole room just by the sound of your laughter. I miss the way you accepted the way you look in the mirror without cursing yourself out about how ugly you look. I miss the way you didn’t think of yourself as a failure because everyone makes mistakes, we all have flaws and we all aren’t perfect. It’s painful to see that no one around you seems to see the pain through your eyes, but, stranger, I do, I see how heavy your heart is and how comforting the sadness for you might be, how afraid your heart is of happiness because it disappears in the end, right? You don’t know how much impact you have in this world and it’s sad to see that your demons fight against you and want to take over you. Because you do make a change, it’s something so simple and little that brightens up someone’s whole world, it can be a small smile from your lips, the way you look at things you’re passionate about, the way you make yourself eat even though it’s been hard for you lately, the way you zoom out and go in your own world, you brighten up my world by reading this, it means a lot to me that you’re here, existing, but I don’t want you to just exist, you deserve to feel alive. You deserve to get up in the morning and feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel something- to feel every damn second alive in this lifetime. It’s heartbreaking that you think you’re not capable of being loved because you are, I love you through all my words and I hope you let it happen in your heart. Love is scary, I know, maybe your heart had been broken once and since then you wanted to be rather numb than feel ever again, it hurts me how you punish yourself, does it not deserve love? Because YOU DO deserve love, please forgive yourself, it’s not your fault that the demons want to take over your beautiful heart. You’re not a bad person for distancing yourself from others, but you deserve someone to talk to, you deserve someone to listen. I am listening, you can tell me what’s wrong. It’s everything, isn’t it? There’s something pulling your heartstrings on the ground and no one seems to understand how misunderstood you feel, it’s heartbreaking to know that I am behind the screen and can’t give you a hug, that’s why I will give you a big warm virtual hug and send you lots of love :). You matter. You are worthy. You are loved. You deserve good things. You deserve someone to listen. You deserve to eat and drink. You deserve to feel good and alive. You deserve to smile. You deserve a hug. You deserve to be all the things you want to be because you deserve to have and feel good things happening to you and have a fulfilled life. I know I might not know you personally but I care about you so much, I write this because I want you to stay here with me, I want you to hold on a little longer because you matter so much to me, because I will not let you give up on yourself. I want you to see that you should not give up on yourself because you DESERVE GOOD THINGS. I want you to look back on the time when you were a kid, you didn’t give up when you tried to swim for the first time, you didn’t give up when you tried to walk for the first time and fell, you never gave up on yourself, you always kept on pushing forwards, so why can’t you now? I know it’s tiring, your mentally tired, but don't your younger self deserve good things? look back at your eyes that used to be full of hope, look back on those dreams. Don’t let yourself fall, you deserve better. We will both fight, I will fight for you. I won’t let those demons get to you. You can hold on to me, I won’t let you down :). Whenever you feel lonely, then look at the sky, I always look at it and think about you. Yes, you, because it makes me happy that there’s someone looking right back, maybe we can’t see each other but I can feel your presence here with me and that’s enough for me because I am glad your heart is beating and you’re still fighting. You’re so much stronger thank you think, you didn’t leave your spot on this earth even if you wanted to, you belong here, even though it doesn’t feel like it when you don’t feel like belonging then build your own home here, put all your love in it and dreams. Think of you as a star when you feel alone, you shine because your heart is good, no matter what mistake you made, no matter about the past you had, you’re one of the stars that shine bright in the universe because you’re heart is beautiful, that’s why the demons in your mind want to have it. As one of the stars you see other stars, maybe they have felt the same way as you do at some point in their life, but they lighten up the universe with each other’s presence. You’re a star for me, maybe you don’t see it yourself but I can see it, you’re beautiful from inside and out, your body is beautiful the way it is. You make me happy by reading this, you make me feel something by your presence, and when you can make me feel that way then you also make other people feel that way about you too. I hope you stay for yourself and don’t let your story get written by others but by yourself, it’s your story, not theirs. As you can see, I say a lot of “I hope” because I have hope for you even if you don’t have it for yourself, I see hope in you even though you might want to give up. That’s why I hope you won’t see the world in darkness and will see it colorful again, I hope I will give you a glimpse of hope and make the world you see a bit colorful for today. My favorite color is yellow, and I hope the next time you see the color yellow you will think about my words. If someone left you then don’t blame yourself, don’t think you weren’t enough, don’t lower yourself for someone who couldn’t see the awesomeness in you. If you lost someone I am so sorry for your loss, they want you happy, I hope you don’t feel guilty or regret because you were there, you spend enough time with them, they want you to be happy. They are in a good and safe place now. If someone broke your heart then I am so sorry that they couldn’t see the way you look so beautiful because of the heart you have. Anyone who gets to be with you doesn’t know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they are :). If you aren’t accepted at home or in general then I am so sorry that you have to deal with someone/ something you shouldn’t be ashamed of, I accept you and support you, I accept you as a human being no matter what race, religion, nationality, skin color, or sexuality you have. You’re safe here with me :). You’re not useless, you’re not a burden to anyone. You’re not a problem, you’re human and your feelings are valid. You’re not being dramatic. Please don’t starve yourself, you deserve food and to drink, I know it’s hard. It hurts to see that you’re in so much pain :( you deserve so much man, don’t let your emotions control you. Don’t let them get the best of you. I am sorry no one is noticing, I wish /hope I could take your pain away for today or even for a moment while you’re reading this. If no one told you, I am so proud of you, you’re reading this and it’s enough for me to be proud of you because you’re here and that’s all that matters to me. If it’s the night for you, go to sleep, I know it’s hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, don’t let them fight you. If it’s the day for you, don’t start it with such sad music, I know it’s impossible to have a good day with such a mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water every day in the morning, and so on. You will start building little healthy habits. If it’s the evening for you, you’re probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know it’s okay to feel the way you feel. You don’t need to be scared, of course, you’re overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldn’t? But it’s important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self-care, such as taking a bath for example? You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed.
And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that you’re so strong for breathing despite the pain, I know you will make it :) I believe in you. All I want for you is to stay here, I really mean all my words, even if there is a lot of unsaid things I want to tell u and my text is getting longer and longer, I want you here.
I hope one day your smile will become a genuine one where you don’t need to fake it anymore because I can’t say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. You’re worth more than every fucking cent in this world.
You can let go for today, I got you, you can cry your heart out as much as you want, but don’t let it tear you down and let your emotions control you by giving up. Crying is not a weakness. If you still feel alone I dedicate you to a song as your friend.
“Dusk till Dawn- Zayn feat. Sia (I prefer the slow version)” I hope you can think of me and will remind yourself of my words, I will for sure think of you.
In case no one told you and you’re unsure yourself, you’re a good person and I am so happy you’re here.
I hope this is enough to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. Enough with beating yourself up for today, okay?
Life for those who couldn’t smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like there’s no other, hug-like it's your last one.
If you read all of it, until tomorrow my friend :)
have a good day and a great year.
Not mine but u can spread it :)
AHHH TYY ❤️❤️❤️
Thank u. Really, tysm 💕
I love u man. Stay this way.
thank you so much for your kind words💖 it started to get harder to read with tears welling up in my eyes, i hope i can let go of this self negativity and doubt and fear. and i hope everyone here feels loved because i love you and i wish you the whole universe🤗 you're amazing and i'm proud of you for being here😊
Thank you, I cried reading this. I remember your favorite color, yellow, I miss it :)
The music. The comments. I’m grateful for everyone here and I hope you love urself because that’s what matters.
sometimes Idk if I'm sad or happy or...
yk its low when you have to ask "whats your favorite colour?" to anyone again.
Hah bold of you to assume I ever had a favourite colour
I used to relate to the title so much, but now I just lie to myself and say its red
me but yellow
me too but pink
me but blue
Honestly, it's okay to not know your favourite colour or to not even have one. We all lose things every now and then, part of the fun is finding them again. I didn't know a thing about myself in the deepest depths of my depression and, once I started recovering from my you-know-what attempt, I realised I knew nothing about me. Learning about yourself is one of the nicest parts of slowly getting better, bit by bit. You don't need a favourite colour to be a kind, loving and worthy person. I still don't even know what my favourite animal is but I look forward to the day that I find out :) I know it's easier said than done but keep your chin up - it might feel like you have nothing but you will always have hope and hope can change everything :)
I like transparency because we can see more colors through it
I literally dont know my favourite anything anymore 💀💀
I literally dont HAVE my favourite anything. Its like everything has become indifferent and meaningless :/ The worst part is that my life is going pretty "well" I guess?
my problems are so small but i'm too pathetic to be better
You dont have any problems. Theres nothing wrong with you. Its just the world around you, that seem to have a problem. You are perfect the way you are, and dont need to change, stay strong out there!
HOWD YOU KNOW IDK MY FAVORITE COLOR ANYMORE??? im a person terrified of change, and for as long as i can remember its been green. i feel bad changing it, idk.
the best part abt these playlist's is that no matter how u feel when u put it on it will still make u feel sad on the inside even if everything is ok. Then your thoughts get to you and u start thinking abt your life. You begin to realize a lot more abt ur self and start to rlly become sad. Then u listen to multiple of these kinds of playlists and the crying starts. Then you sit alone in ur room hopeless feeling an insane amount of pain and usefulness. Then u read the comments while listening to the music in the background feeling a bit better abt yourself and then move on w/ ur day.
This reminds me of when I was younger and too broken to remember all the actual bad things that happened to me. I would lay in bed feeling like my life wasn't so bad. Not until I got older I remembered. Oh shit my life is bad!
I don't know if remembering such things is equating to healing. I feel more insane and ready to redact myself than before especially since now that I'm back in school I have realized the extent of my loneliness and how unrecognizable I am. Granted I entered without anyone (sort of). But it hurts to see everyone immediately have friends and speak to each other. Especially when this summer sucked for me because I lost my only close best friend who was online of 4 years who could care less of me now. To be honest they always had, I just never noticed how easy it was for them to move on. I blame myself for that... Even if they lied to me. And I wonder if I should really accept such loneliness, it's been so long and I'm just so attention starved as a human. It annoys me because I don't want to bother others. And I speak a lot as well when I meet people online or not online that I bother them anyways. I'm just annoyed of being a ghost everywhere I go. At the same time I can't imagine what to do if I finally was noticed. It really has been so long...
I still don't know my favorite color. I think I just like having none. And I'm fine with that.
my bsf has an extremely hard life and me who's had barley nothing compared to her still often feels extremely sad and stressed so I relate to the image alot :(
Fr tho like my bsf has a really hard home life but I have an amazing one it feels like I’m just being overdramatic and selfish:(
Not depressed like most of the people here, but God I wish I had someone to vent to. Everyone around me loves to talk about their problems, but I don't want it to seem like me saying "my problems are worse." because they aren't worse. I have it way better than my friends. But even if they're not as bad as my friend's problems, it still hurts. I feel like everyone trusts me but I can't trust anyone else in the entire world. I only have one friend that I would ever be comfortable venting to, but she vents to me about being the therapist friend and I could never add that stress to her. This feels inescapable and I wish I didn't have so much of a problem with trust. I've been in highschool for a whole month and a half, and I still haven't made a single conversation that wasnt small talk. Everybody there already has close friends, everybody there has someone to go to about problems. I'm the only one sitting alone at lunch, watching everyone else laugh and have conversations, while I sit there listening to songs that are like these. Everybody that I know has a closer friend, I'm nobody's #1, I'm never the first choice. Even last year when I had a friend they always picked anyone but me. I tried to be their partner for projects but I was never fast enough. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me but I hate myself for it. Then my brother pokes at every little thing I do, he makes fun of me for struggling with friends ,hes telling me to stop eating so much when I'm not even overweight, he makes fun of what I like, and then when I get upset my mom said he is right and "just trying to help me" her okay I wasn't aware that making fun of me for not having any close friends at school would magically make me have friends at school! Wow thanks for actually nothing.
I don't even remember really much of anything from 1st grade to 7th grade, but in 8th I met the friend mentioned first. She's great. She's the only friend I feel like I can truly be myself around that isn't online. She actually made me laugh and smile, when in 7th I just remember planning my suicide and feeling like I was watching everybody around me from a different planet, but now i don't want to really die anymore. She makes me feel like a human and not an alien that everyone was forced to be around. But I'm scared because she talks about how her family is talking about moving to Mexico. Without her Id be alone all over again and go back into that cycle. I don't want to feel like I want to die, but I don't think that I'd be able to see that if she left. Before her I can't remember much, but I remember some. I remember always being bullied, tripped, having balls thrown at me, and they even made making fun of me into a game that everybody but my one friend participated in. Yknow what the teacher said? That I was lying and it wasn't happening. No adult believed me nor did anything about it. And my friends wonder why I never trust anyone enough to open up about it. If the teachers actually did something my life would be so different. But no, had to ignore it. Now look at me, having one truly close friend that I don't even know will stay with me.
You can vent to me- i have been through alot, Im also a therapist, please try to open up :) ❤ we are here for you
it's going to be ok, also that first part is incredibly relatable
alright, a little vent here-
I don't know what am I gonna do in the future anymore, it's always the same routine, there are slight moments of less pain, but I do always feel tired and empty. Just wanna feel good again y'know
@Corn flaek shit, I felt that
Can you make a *'POV: Your the forgotten babysitter'* Or *'POV: You wish you were the favourite child...'* :D
yep! ill keep that in mind
when i read "your the forgotten babysitter" hit close to home 😭 ik how you feel!
My life is not that bad its just i dont know i fell so ducking empty. Nothing makes me happy anymore i can't enjoy things that i liked in the past. I when i cry my mom ask me why im crying. I dont know i feel stressed and just overwhelmed. I don't know what to do anymore
we can always talk if you need
The image is so relatable, but that’s the bad thing
It’s like “why am I sad? Other people have bigger problems, having to find food for your family jus to survive, having to run away from a abusive family.” All my friends have worse lives than me but I still feel so bad, my family’s amazing, it just feels like “am I overeacting? Am I just being selfish?” I’m not even depressed but when I lay in my bed at night and just think about my life it hits harder than it should. All my friends have other friends I’m just like a replacement for each of them I’ll always try to partner with them but somehow they already have other friends, I’m too young I’m about to leave elementary school(6th grade) but I still am afraid of the change, I know there will be a bunch of popular girls but they are still kind, how I know that? I know them but I’m not even their #1 friend, it kinda feels like I’ll never be anyone’s #1, my parents, my siblings, my friends, heck, even my grandparents. They always get to be someone else’s #1 but I’ll just be taking up space. I raised both of my younger siblings *and* maybe even parents (they’re not messed up or anything, they just are kinda Karen’s and are needed to be put on a leash, in a loving way like I’m trying to protect them from getting hurt) one other thing is my friends don’t even tell me anything, I know abt their horrible home lives, I could never be as strong as them to go through what they’re going through but in my friend group it works like this, there’s 6 people and three of them vent to each other abt their problems(they are the ones who mostly have the most messed up lives) me and my other friend(L) just have each other to count on(not that we can’t count on the others) and we don’t even have any *real problems* the four friends(M, J, T, and Lu) always tell each other their problems, I feel like they think that since me and L don’t have a messed up home life that we won’t be trustworthy. It’s like I get that M, T, J, and Lu are depressed and shi but me and L would still like to be their friends, we won’t get a chance to prove that we’ll be able to listen to them if they don’t tell us. I’m not trying to be selfish and mean, I’m really not but I just wish they’d trust us more. L and M, the closest in the group to me are each other’s best friends and I always get left behind, I’m not like “would trust with my life” close with the others in the group and besides they are kinda perverts and racists so I don’t like them As much but I still like them so I’m kinda stuck. I’m fr no ones number one:(
I rlly like pink but i hate the fact that i doubt myself so much that i genuinely start to think that ill never achieve anything great and die as a nobody
anyways, wbu?
picture: retable
music: masterpiece
your pfp: masterpiece
thanks for the help
...
can you stop seeing whats under here?
im fine.
*Are you sure your fine? like 100 percent??*
Btw you can vent to me if you want
I hope, at least in the future, you become more than fine. You deserve to enjoy life, even the little things, have a good day/night mate
Little vent that I didn't even intend to be a vent lol:
I'm honestly blessed to be able to say that my depression is the best it's ever been. However, I still have bad moments, bad days, bad nights. These kinds of playlist remind me that it's okay to be sad and it's okay to vent, even if it's just to yourself. Right now I'm in a rut - I've felt really bad the past, like, 3-4 days. I'm just falling back into some of depression's tricks really. I've been back to thinking my life isn't worth much and that I'm not accomplishing anything. I haven't become the person I always wanted to be. But then, I sit back and I look at myself and have a think. I may not be x, y or z but I am the closest to happy I have ever been. I stayed up so many nights sobbing to the moon, praying for nothing but happiness. It took years but now it's in my grasp yet I'm ungrateful. I have to remember sometimes that, though I'm not some social big-shot, I have done everything I set out to do for myself. I still worry about people's opinions and judgement of me and that has always been my downfall but, when it comes down to it, I've achieved the one thing I cried and cried over for so long. I am just a bit scared to be honest - I don't want to live a "normal" life where I work 8 hours a day, come home to a family I hate and sit up at night in regret. I want to be happy and I am but I'm not happy by other people's standards because I have very few friends and very little money to my name. In a way, other people assuming I SHOULD be depressed actually makes me depressed. I never knew that other people would end up being the biggest obstacle in my happiness - it used to always just be me getting in the way of myself. Life's never easy but it always figures itself out in the end, I suppose.
I love this playlist keep making them I could watch this over and over again!
im working on a new one rn ❤
it gets depressing when people your age have to take care of you, bc ur parents can't. They evenutally 'become' ur parents
I personally would say ‘well my life isn’t that bad’ but it is.
My father physically and mentally abused my family when we lived with him. He would throw things at me and my brother, and would yell at us all a lot. Then we discovered that he does heavy drugs. We also found 12-13 knives scattered around the house, most of which weren’t even ours.
Then we left him and my mum filed a restraining order for 5 years and a divorce, but father wouldn’t sign the divorce papers since he would say ‘you’re taking my children away from me!!’ to my mum. We moved 4 hours away from him, so I lost all of my contact with friends. Then later that year I turned 10, and.. well… father forgot my birthday… he didn’t call or message for my birthday, not that I would have really cared anyway.
Then we moved into a house with a step family, but it turns out some of the step siblings bullied me, and step father was greedy and cheated on my mum. So we left there, and moved into a new house a bit further away from there. The old step siblings would still bully me at school, and we also lived in a really sketchy area with a lot of drug dealers, so we moved again.
This time we moved 4 hours away again I think (short term memory loss kicking in here), so I lost my old friends from my old school, but I made new friends there. But at this school I got fat shamed every day, with kids calling me a ‘fat whore’ or a ‘fat bitch’ and other incredibly mean names, and I was 12 then.
Then after that year we got kicked out of our home because the real estate agent didn’t like us, unfair I know. So now we moved 2 hours away, and that’s where I live currently. Since moving I lost all my friends, again. But I still have one friend from my old school, her name is Mikayla and she’s a really nice friend.
Well, now I don’t do school, because school gave me extremely bad social anxiety, so now all I do is just sit in my room and listen to music, and I also turned 13 a couple days ago on the 28th of September. And now my father finally signed the divorce papers, but the only downside is, because my father was abusive, my brother (16 almost 17) picked up on it and used to abuse me a lot last year, he threatened to kill me twice, tried suffocating me with a mattress, and would throw things at me.
Well, now he doesn’t hit me anymore but he still yells at me a lot if I do things wrong. And I got an amazing girlfriend yesterday, and I couldn’t be happier that I got her.
Oh and, on my birthday, it was my first birthday that I hadn’t cried of sadness, since all of my birthdays end in me crying in my room. But this year that wasn’t the case. I also got to call my ‘father’ and tell him about how much of an asshole he is.
And now, I’m depressed, have really bad social anxiety, and have only 1 real life friend. My girlfriend lives across the country sadly, but I wish to meet her as soon as I can. I love her so much and I hope we never have to separate. Bella, if you see this, I love you so much and please never leave me, you are the best girlfriend I’ve ever had, I don’t care if the people around you are homophonic, I will never leave you.
Well there it is, that’s my life since I was around 7-13, I hope you have a lovely day, and quick note: music is my best friend :)
omg im so sorry :( ❤️
Wow that must have been tough for you…..I’m so sorry! :( I hope you are doing okay!💕💕💞💞
I hope you will can visit your girlfriend
the image is relatable af 😭 but really, I think that's only because the world itself is imperfect. our life may be okay, but the world is still crumbling away around us, and the more we realize that the sadder we get.
Now, it's time to cry for nothing, i think.., thanks for the playlist💖
this is hella underrated
tyy
agreed
Hey, you, yeah you! I have a joke to cheer you up, MY LIFE!!! HAHAHAHAH
are you ok? we can talk…
Sometimes I would just take time to think to myself for a few minutes and eventually get tangled up in my thoughts.
ughakmsd its so comforting to see people going through the same thing as you. Ive realized recently, I really dont know anything about myself. Im scared. Who am I if I dont even know, I try so hard to put myself under a label even if I know I should just stop and accept myself. No one ever understood me, so maybe if I understood myself, it'll get better.
lol to be honest, everything about me is fake. I make stuff up for people to like me better, I honestly don't know what I like and dislike anymore.
Internet ruined my past-self's innocent.
Why everything about this is so relatable
Everyone always doubts me.
I can relate to this 100%
I have depression so this helps a little
This is so awesome!!!
my mom wants me to see a therapist again. i had one last year, but it didnt help at all and it only caused me to be stressed over what i should or shouldnt say. i lied about not being suicidal, i lied about not doing self harm, and i lied about being mentally stable. now, my suicidal thoughts have become worse. even though i got the most amazing friends and boyfriend, my mental state is also getting worse. i dont want help, it doesnt work anyways, i dont want to tell my stories to a person who i dont know, it makes me uncomfortable. my friends are better therapists than the professionals.
i feel like my life isnt that bad, and that i have no reason to feel this way.
my attachment issues are so bad that i cry when i cant talk to my boyfriend for a day
my school is making me feel even worse because i got told today that i might not stay in the same class as my friend, which is the only person i have in that school.
i hate everything and i want to kms
but i cant, and i feel like its not worth it
Me: *saw the title*
Also me: So my favorite color isn't black bc it would be too emo but it's not pink either bc its too girly and gives off barbie vibes for me and purple is like " Oh yOu aRe sTuCk iN 2018?" or " did you choose this to be different?" but blue is like OMG UR A AQUARIUS???? even tho I'm cancer so it might be yellow but I'm not always cheerful and happy but green is too nature for me and orange is just "no." for me and red gives me American vibes and white is too plain and grey is like someone would always be having a fake smile and would listen to depressing songs. So I have no clue what my favorite color is lol
Have a good day :>
Damn I really just spent 10 min typing that-
love this playlist fr
The title, the image. Jesus, I feel that.
I spun a coin, green is my favorite color now
Hey there beautiful! If you think no one loves you, love yourself!
Im sad but also not sad.. idk what i feel
I love this playlist so much bro I can't explain it
I mean, yeah, it's not a big thing, but if I don't know that, if I don't care about that, then what do i care about, and that photo is more relatable than the music, which is pretty relatable
Best playlist. Ever ❤️
(Literally tho, everything here is so relatable.)
u so real for this
this literally spoke to me
im not sad i just want good songs to listen to
while i play roblox
Okay, I’m not really gonna vent but I do wonder, for people like me who don’t know anything any more, when someone ask “what’s your favorite color” what color do you normally say? I say purple
The picture though... I'm only 14 and I wanna die. We're too young for this bullshit.
Refusing to sleep? Yes.
i turned 13.
Man this playing is too effective at making me sad
That's a good question. Why am i sad. Do I deserve to be sad because there are people right now fighting for their country dieing. Some are forced to fight. So why. Why am i so useless like this? Why can't I just do anything. I'm a terrible sister big sister to my sibling. I can't even get over a small thing I couldn't even win her anything for her. She doesn't deserve someone like me with anger issues. No one does my mom didn't have to have me I should've died in her stomach like I was supposed to. Why did i have to be born into this hell I hate life who's with me? Sometimes I wish I didn't stop myself from drowning the the pool. I wish I stayed there. But my friend will be left alone after. I can't leave him alone or my family. I don't even care about myself I just want my family to be happy I just want them to have a good life without me existing I'm just useless trash crying in the living room. I'm just extra weight on my mom's back. I wish my grandma on my mom's side killed me I wish I died faster I'm scared to die but I want to do it. At least do it fast so I don't feel pain or do it slow I don't know anymore someone help me I'm in extreme stress my mom said I can talk to her but I don't think i can trust anyone anymore I don't even know myself anymore I hate people I hate everyone I just wish I died and no one cared so I can die without people feeling sad. (Sorry I vented without permission I just wanted to let that all out there might be spelling mistakes I type fast when I'm upset or sad. Bye
i mean i don’t think my life is necessarily bad i think it’s just me and the fact i feel so alone and don’t get that same love back as i give to others, i think i’m mostly the problem and i just feel so sad all the time because deep down i truly hate myself ontop of the stress of school and life,
|Vent|
I'm so sick of everything, ever since school started I've been stressing about everything. My parents have unreal expectations set for me, whenever I do something good I'm just meeting the expectations, whenever I do something bad I get slapped and get everything taken away from me, and get yelled at. My friends just make fun of me for it and they think I'm attention seeking when I really don't even know basic things about myself anymore, like- I honestly don't know my favorite color anymore and I can't make decisions without thinking I'll do something wrong, I always get blamed for no reason no matter what happens and I'm honestly thinking of ending it all
sorry love.
Green
this is a vent playlist, the title didn’t insist that you should comment ur favourite colour.
@@iiaiaiaiaii Lol I knew that I was just bored and wanted to comment something
Depression is a Sadness that forgotten why it's so Sad
hello there🌝
just wanted to hop in here and tell u that i love u and im so proud of you
The pic Is so reliable
vent! -- idkw im so sad all the time, i have alright friends, online friends a decent family, an amazing partner, i just feel like theres a huge whole in my heart, thats just- empty or something i cant get rid of- aswell as my mind tells me guesses of people that dont like me and that i should shut up, it sucks
I can get that your feelings arr valid and I hope you know that. If it's safe to do so I would tell your parents
@@smeadgoblin9634 ty
I can relate with the picture.
I don't have favourite things. I don't know what I like or hate. people know me better than I know myself
I don't know if it can get worse my friend has a crush on my friend and I have a crush on her too. I just feel forgotten and like I cant say anything.
Life ain't bad.
Just the thoughts are bad.
Why i feel my feet getting colder and colder?. I feel like i aint enough for the people who surround me. I dont want to feel this anymore,I hate being ashammed of myself all time.but im going to live like this till i die or force me to,because i cant live with this feeling anymore.:(
I'm losing it. I'm sorry I was heartless, I'm sorry I was toxic.. I- it just hurt. I didn't mean to hurt them, yet I did. I feel so numb and heartless, I don't.. I do not wish to be alone again. I'm sorry, old friend.. though I hurt you I know its mostly for the best. We hurt each other too much, and we fight too much, i'm.. just so done.
True but sad
yo i relate to the title, idk what i like or don’t anymore, idk who i am
My favorite color is purple at least I hope that's what my favorite color is
I think my favorite color is still purple but I don’t always pick the purple option. And my favorite isn’t blue, but I do like teal. But is that really my favorite color? I know that pastel colors are cute, and I like cute things, but I have no clue what is really what I think and what is me trying to copy the people I like.
I've never related to a photo so much, ngl
I’m v tired nd sleep ain’t helping 🧍🏽♀️
i always say orange. no, it isn’t because i’m a ginger and no it isn’t because i’m an arsonist. so many people make fun of me for my hair and my last name and say “Oh well you like orange because you are a funny little orange hahaha” like gods. i know im ginger. every day i want to cut my head off or shave my head or dye it red with my blood or i dont even know i am going insane underneath everything but you know
haha 😆
like fr tho my life isn't bad but I'm just sad and empty like my thoughts and empty ness is eating away at my soul and I just want to be that happy positive person all the time but i can't
7:55
ok this is my furst vent but ill try my best.
when i was in elementery school i had gf ik too young but whatever. i loved and still do but she dosent and so there was one kid in our class i was writing her a confess letter while the teacher was explaining something the letter was like this "look ik that we brok3 up like 2 years before but please give me a second chance everybody" desserve a second chance right (we had brokwn up and still are bcz my dumbass thought she was cheating one cuz a friend said she was long story short she wasnt) and the i still wasnt finnished writing but my bully took the note and gave it to her and the ripped it and now she hates me bcz i cant stand up to myself. Am i in the bad bcz i feel like its my fault i just want somebody to even just care for me like i feel sometimes even my family and friend hate me. the sad part is that me and my mom used to be so close but now i feel we are drifting away and probably all of my class hate me but i always try to stay possitive on the outside but aomw days i just lie locked in the bathroom crying my eyes out
why is the title so relatable
haha i want a check up by a parent or friend but i cant because it selfish and attention seeking so i now stay up in bed wondering if my "friends" acc like me
im starting to doubt they do tho, im trying rlly hard to talk in convos but i cant hear anything so i just sit there akwardly haha
currently 2:33 AM as im writing this out
bro my life aint even bad, just my thoughts honestly
I literally don't know my favoirte color anymore lol
POV: You're Brett Hand
At school im a pretty nice and happy guy but when i get home i lay in bed and think do my friends really like me?
title relatable
Is transparency a color?
We can see colors through it, but, is it really a color? Or just something that let's color go through? It has colors, but they just go through.
Bruh the pic…. That’s how my eyes be lol 😂
I think maybe pink
Relating to that pic so bad
and why is relating to an image bad?
@@iiaiaiaiaii excuse me
@@iiaiaiaiaii uhm I think you misunderstood me. I meant to say that i relate to that picture so much lol
@@Devilyyy oh, im rlly sorry 🥲
the one i can remember is green. or it was purple?
gonna do kurt cobain trickshot
I can't go a single day with out telling my self "why am I crying my life is great I have it better then a lot of people" not realizing that I don't my life sucks I can't go a day with out crying,without telling my self I am not ugly, I am not fat, I am not a failure,mistake,stupid, and I can't forget the comments that I get about my body because I am lager them others so I am "fat" and all the comments about it I just want life to end very short I want it to end right now
“ POV : you don’t know your favourite colour anymore “ I don’t know anything anymore.
I don’t know where I went wrong… what did I say?,do?. I don’t know what I did.. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. I don’t know when this pain will end I don’t know when my lonely, lazy self will get a girlfriend
I’m unlovable
I don’t deserve love or any attention.
I’m unfunny
People don’t care about me
I am just a loser and a little shit
I don’t deserve to live
Everyone hates seeing me alive
I’m a mistake
I should die
I’m weird
Every hates me
I’d be better off dead
I’m worthless
I’m nothing
People hate me and hope I should die
I hope I don’t wake up again
I’m just a little loser
Why am I so short?
Why am I such a disappointment?
No girl would ever date me
I hope this all ends soon
This all needs to end, one way or not wether suicide or something else. This needs to end
Hello secretserbi! lovely profile picture by the way! I just want to let you know,
your not unlovable, i love you
you deserve all the love and attention in the world, which is what i want to give you
your funny, everyone around you just has terrible humor
i care about you
your not a loser, your a winner by staying strong, and your not a little shit, nor will you ever be
You deserve every right to live, you deserve it all
Not everyone, the happiest thing in the world for me were to just know that your safe and sound.
your not a mistake, and although you might make some, its just the way you learn and grow as a person.
you should not die. do not die. you still have so much to live for. ill be here for you.
your not weird, just the people around you dont understand your perfections.
i dont hate you
you will not be better off dead, you will just be transferring the pain to someone else who loves you. (me)
Your not worthless
Your not nothing
I dont hate you, i dont want you to die. Live, live for me, live for the sake of living, live for yourself
I hope you wake up, to find that theres people in this world who adore you
Your not a little loser
Theres nothing wrong with being short, if people cant fall in love with you for the way you are, then that isnt love
your not a disappointment. you still being here, is all the achievements youll ever need
i would date you. honestly, i would, and so will many others, you just have to keep looking.
i hope this all ends for you, but not in the way of death.
please, if you have discord, just send me a request. let me talk to you and help you. death is irreversible, dont make that mistake. i love you. stay strong for me.
discord:
Fishy#2005
Hey secretserbi! Just wanted to check in on you. How are you doing today?
Shit im crying..
Ohhhh
Okay- my mother is great and my father is great- I live a good life- but Im acting horrible towards everyone. I really want to say nice things but I can't- everything that comes out of my mouth is so toxic! Atleast towards my mother- she doesn't deserve it. I really do live a good life- and my mom doesn't say no to me often- I'm sorry I just really needed to vent. If anyone has any advice I'd be very happy to hear it!