Ever cried in bed wishing that you were at school but when you were at school wished you were at home? But at the same time you know that there is no home to you, and that everywhere you go, toxicity is everywhere.
An artist, An artist, but never planned to paint on her skin, An artist who paints with crimson color dripping down, Her wrist, painted Dripping,on the floor, Dripping,on a pillowcase, The only colour she knew, all she knows An artist, Who feels safe in pain, An artist, But never planned to feel the art of such heartache, Such aching heart, None could fix, An artist, but Never planned having a soul of such empty colors, An artist, But never had the imagination to picture such loneliness, An artist, But never brave enough to color her canvas, so that one day she could adore her painting without a damaged paper, So that one day, She could see colors again. -a weird kid:)
I understood the second i saw she painted with crimson. I almost cried reading this. It has so much meaning and yet it is so simple and you need each part to form the next.
If you're watching this hoping to cry your eyes out wanting to feel something again, like me. All my support and all my prayers fall into you. I wish you a blessed life. i hope you feel better soon. You're enough.
This hits hard. In November I left behind my dads house. The house I’ve spent my entire life in. All the good memories in that place poisoned by the screams of an alcoholic father. The house I had tea parties With my grandmother as a child turned into the house I have a dark memory in each corner of the house. This playlist very well describes or represents my mentality. It felt like a prison. I will say if you can make it through life dose get better. You just have to hang in keep working and keep hoping. I know there are people in worse situations then mine was but I fully believe they can make it to the other side and find joy. It may take a while but it will come.
i dont get to see my dad or pal or mal dad went to jail i cant see pal he dose drvgs and is a drvg dealer and mal is with him and pal is abuseive and wont let her leave... so this comment helped me as im going through depression u helped me 💗
I don't have problems with parents being addicted to things but I have major anxiety Nd some depression and I never get sleep because I cry everyday from my mama and dad fighting .One time my mom was going to leave and she told me to pack .but she never told my other 2 siblings .. But my dad got her to calm down a bit .I cried and screamed to much I almost puked .I'm only 13 and my siblings are 3 years younger .And I have so many thoughts that stress me out that I have oulled out my hair and then if I over work my self I either like in my mouth or just be deeply zoned out and I also have anger issues .I was told by my doc that my meds are helping and that I just need therapy I did it but nothing helped . I habe the sound of my mother saying that I caint mentality Handel it . She said this when I had a huge break down she said n this when my dad asked if it's because of things I watch/hear .( I watch funny things and stuff about makeup) and all I think k of is when I cried at the doctos because they were talking like if I'm insane. Last week I had a thought that if something happened to my sister it would be my fault and that I'm the worst sister ever because I didn't spend time with her. And every one would be sad all because of me .At my grandpaps funeral. I blamed my self for being a horrible person because of not spending time with him when I visited him at family gatherings. I can never stop thinking of the worst a d that has never changed even with my meds .My anger makes it worst . I blame my self for a tone of things that has happened .I cry so much that my pillows have stains from my tears . I usually cry my self to sleep when I do actually sleep with I normally don't . I sleep only on sat and Mon .
It feels like we live at school and visit Home now. I'm scared to go home and school. It's horrible at school and *home* . I hate school and *home* I hate how I'm going to secondary school next year, I'm scared on walking there, getting there on the bus, going home by myself and most importantly: I'm scared of growing up.
It hurts when home doesn’t feel like home, but it’s still your home. Parents don’t feel like parents, but they’re still your parents. It hurts when you love your family more than anything even if they broke you in pieces and you still let them do it because you love them too much. It hurts knowing that the little brother that you grew up with is totally different from you and will never understand you… because he’s way more mentally stable than you, so for him you are just a freak. It hurts knowing that this brother in question probably hates you, because you became toxic just like your parents and you loved your family too much to be rebellious enough to break the cicle. It hurts knowing that he’s way better than you even if is younger and will probably run far away from you too, because you are no better than the parents that broke you in the past and you know that your way to love will break him too. It hurts wanting him to be just like you so you won’t lose your only friend, the child you always loved so much. It hurts being such a shitty person. It hurts when you know that you house turned you like this. It hurts having to vent this on a youtube comment because you can’t say that in front of your parents. It hurts knowing that in my house i’m the villain too. I feel so desperate, but i will keep a straight face in front of the walls of this house. Sorry for venting, thank you for reading.
It is never too late if you can acknowledge the problem I yourself I beg you to try if you can to get help and try to protect you brother and yourself from more damage💞 goog luck
@@lily-he1kt You’re a kind soul. I’m really trying my best and i’m looking for a new therapist because the old one didn’t take any appointments with me anymore. I’m really trying my best.
What are you doing here so late? Can't sleep? Ah. Coming to cry in the middle of the night. I get that. It feels nice to do that, so I understand. Take all the time you need. You know, I just happened to find you stumble upon the video where I'm taking a break. Wanna sit down for a while? Tell me about what's bothering you? Oh, don't worry about me. I don't find you annoying. I wanna be here for you. I'll try to help as best as I can. I won't judge you. Everyone has their own story. Ah, that sucks. I can't begin to imagine how you must feel. You're so tough for getting through all of that. I'm so proud of you for not giving up. Of course I understand. One broken soul to another. I just want to remind you. No matter how hard it gets, please stay strong. Take care of yourself. You can't go into a battle already wounded. You can't wave the white flag without trying your hardest. This will all be over soon. And hey. If you ever need to take another break, I'm always here. Helping people is my specialty. They always find their way, one way or another. You can come sit down with me any time. I'll try to lend some advice, or just an ear to listen. And if this is your last time visiting me, I'm proud of you. My job is done. Go take on life with all your energy, and remember that you have one soul always cheering you on. You'll always have my support. I can't wait to see the great things you'll achieve. Before you go... I love you.
I love your hair (or lack thereof) I love your eyes I love your nose I love your gender I love your mouth I love your face I love your grades I love your heart I love your sadness I love your happiness I love your loneliness I love your kindness I love your voice I love your singing I love your art I love your practice I love your work I love your time I love your music taste I love your strength I love your handwriting I love your weakness/weaknesses I love you when your kind I love you when your mean I love you when your smart I love you when you dont feel loved I love you when you are you I love you forever I love you now I love you every day I love you every month I love you every year I love you every second I love you every minute I love you every hour I love you every time you cry I love you every time your happy I love you every time you are you ----------------------------------- You right there, yes im talking to you. You are an amazing person, you can do anything your heart desires, you can have fun, you can be yourself, dont be someone that you dont want to be, be you. Love yourself for who you are. you never know if you'll see somebody that you love for the last time. Live life, be kind to people, ignore the haters, keep being yourself for who you are. ---------------------------------- I love your neck, dont hang it. I love your body, dont cut it. I love your life, dont end it.. ------------------------------ I love you 1% I love you 2% I love you 3% I love you 4% I love you 5% I love you 6% I love you 7% I love you 8% I love you 9% I love you 10% I love you 11% I love you 12% I love you 13% I love you 14% I love you 15% I love you 16% I love you 17% I love you 18% I love you 19% I love you 20% I love you 21% I love you 22% I love you 23% I love you 24% I love you 25% I love you 26% I love you 27% I love you 28% I love you 29% I love you 30% I love you 31% I love you 32% I love you 33% I love you 34% I love you 35% I love you 36% I love you 37% I love you 38% I love you 39% I love you 40% I love you 50% I love you 51% I love you 52% I love you 53% I love you 54% I love you 55% I love you 56% I love you 57% I love you 58% I love you 59% I love you 60% I love you 61% I love you 62% I love you 63% I love you 64% I love you 65% I love you 66% I love you 67% I love you 68% I love you 69% I love you 50% I love you 51% I love you 52% I love you 53% I love you 54% I love you 55% I love you 56% I love you 57% I love you 58% I love you 59% I love you 60% I love you 61% I love you 62% I love you 63% I love you 64% I love you 65% I love you 66% I love you 67% I love you 68% I love you 69% I love you 70% I love you 71% I love you 72% I love you 73% I love you 74% I love you 75% I love you 76% I love you 77% I love you 78% I love you 79% I love you 80% I love you 81% I love you 82% I love you 83% I love you 84% I love you 85% I love you 86% I love you 87% I love you 88% I love you 89% I love you 90% I love you 91% I love you 92% I love you 93% I love you 94% I love you 95% I love you 96% I love you 97% I love you 98% I love you 99% I LOVE YOU 100% -From person on the internet who *loves* you.
Yeah. This is incredibly accurate. Like... incredibly. [BTW - this is a review of every one of the songs and how they relate to my life and the title of the song, this is not a vent, do not think of it as one. I do not know why I did this] Devil town always hurt so much, my parents never got it (I used to play it in the car to try and force them to get the hint) but it was my go-to sad song for years and still is. "Mom and dad aren't in love, guess I'll settle for two birthdays" and "I forgot my name again, I think that's something worth remembering" are so foreign and yet familiar. Like... home. 10/10 song choice Numbers is also super accurate. Like, I always tried to convince myself that it was all fine because my grades were good and my parents weren't that bad, they never hit me and no one told me they were weird. But the line of the girlfriend just going "Hello?" always makes me think that he got a girlfriend and then didn't know what to do so he pushed her away. 7/10 song choice (the ending hurts my ears) Cigarettes out the window is just my mother and father's marriage, honestly. 10/10 song choice, kinda liminal Jealous - ah... the self-deprecating 'I'm not good enough for you' thought process. This is a key part of the loss of home 6/10 (cuz the song cut off) Rat. "I loved you, I loved you, it's true. I wanted to be you and do what you do and so abused. I feel so used"... um, abused child coming to terms with their parent's abuse for 500 Alex. 10/10 Alien Blues - yup. Just yup. Just listen to the song. Yup. Teenage angst. Yup. 9/10. Freaks -everyone is a freak. And feeling like that line, where you don't even want to wake up in the morning because you're so stricken with grief, depression, anxiety, PTSD, anything - that's what makes Home feel so foreign sometimes, because it's meant to be safe. And it's just not anymore. You're an outlier in your own house. 10/10 - also just a fucking banger Notion - this song makes me long for a time I literally never experienced. It makes me long for moments of happiness within that sea of depression. Very good pick. 9/10, one point off because you hear it so god damn much. I can't handle change. I never really liked this song. But it makes you just feel a kind of longing and pain because you know that longing is a lie. And that it doesn't even matter. It will never get better. That's the feeling this song makes you feel. I also can't handle change at all. I'll break down and cry and hit my head and scratch at myself and just freak out if something even in my room changes without my permission. So, yeah. 8/10 pick - it's been memed to hell and back, but it's still real good for that vibe of home no longer feeling safe. 505. I don't have an opinion on this. It just makes my chest hurt. And the lyrics are pretty good for the love you have for your parents and the hate you harbor towards them for the damage they caused. 7/10. feel better. I just love the picture paired with this song, first off. Second off, this feels like a ramble you say to yourself in the mirror and then follow up with a scream and tearing your own hair out. Also, heartbreak. I haven't been through it yet - never been in a relationship- but it seems pretty accurate. No one wants to feel better if they don't believe they deserve it. 10/10 Nothing's New. It's a pretty alright song. It's alright. It's not as angsty as the rest of the song, I think anyways. 5/10 blow my brains out . The picture paired with this is fucking amazing. Everyone's heard this song from shorts or tiktok. I do agree it should go on here. Sometimes I wish that I could give someone my pain as well. Just to show them. Trade for a bit. "Unlucky me, who's aware of the pain, all because I have some brain" - yeah. 9/10 help_urself - This is memes out of fucking hell and got cut off. 3/10 Thanks for reading all of this. If you did - holy shit, good job. You know more about me than most of my friends, random stranger! o(*°▽°*)o. Um, yes, i'm okay. Asher on Paws thanks for the playlist!
I want out of this house. I need out of this house. But i can't call cpa. I can't let my little brother have this much trama like me. I need to get him out of here.
Hi! I don't want to bother you or something, but I saw your comment and I wanted you to know that you're not alone in this. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you, okay?
as a kid i remember always thinking "i want to go home" when i was feeling uncomfortable now i'm starting to think that while i'm at home not even like things are bad at home, especially compared to others (which kinda describes everything for me; i feel shit but my situation isn't even that bad)
I have good parents and good siblings yet I feel like they don't care about me. The only people who I tell my problems are me myself and I and my drawings are how I express how I am feeling yet people don't care for my art anymore. They all seem to hate it when I speak up a little louder so I can be heard and they say to be quiet then when I am upset they tell me to speak up more yet they never seem to notice when I'm upset and only when my siblings are.. no one has seen me cry in months.. I feel like I'm just a back round character who no one cares about or dosnt mind if they die.. I just feel stuck as if I'm alone in my room all the time trying to relax yet I get yelled at for every small little thing that happens even though it's not my fault.. sorry if I took up your time while you read this.. I'll let you get back to listening to this amazing playlist..
@@FakeProtag_______ARFTSAL it doesn't feel okay. I still hurt. I feel like I've lost more friends every year all because I'm to emotional so I don't tell my friends how I'm actually feeling and just say I'm fine. I feel selfish when I express how I'm feeling. Nothing I do is right. I can't even tell my family whats going on. I havnt cried infront of anyone in so long or told anyone how I'm feeling. I'm sorry. Nothing feels right
I'm currently out right now, and i was scrolling through RUclips and i saw this playlist, and it really hits hard, i was out because my parents keep pestering me again, they keep controlling me, like I'm sort of like a puppet because I'm the only girl sibling, they keep saying "your the girl of the family you should be like.... and like..." and I'm honestly so fucking tired, of course i can't tell them that I'm tired, they'll say I'm being dramatic and that I'm still young and that i don't even do anything around the house, i shouldn't be tired of doing nothing, they don't understand that I'm depressed, mwhen they found out about it, they just sent me abroad for therapy, when i needed the most was their comfort, they sent me away so theh wouldn't deal with me, when i got back, they were fighting, my brothers just scrolling through their phone, acting like they weren't even there, and they never greeted me when i came back, just scolded me for being born and why i couldn't be like my uncle's daughter, how can i tell them that i lost faith in life, i lost my motivation, i don't wanna wake up, i don't want to live anymore if this is the life i have, i always wish that i have anither family who love their family equally and doesn't torture their children mentally and physically.
I thought I was the only one who felt the same way,I mean sorta of,like begin the only girl in the family thought that I always clean and you're the oldest one even thought you have a older brother who don't anything in this house,when you sit quitely,they found a problem and you shouldn't rest because you're some robot to clean without having a feeling,always got compared by you're cousin however,is hypocrite,not a innocent one,don't give a damn about other people and not showing any interest in her friends because she feeling like she someone important?...I was someone who always talking back,like a disrespect one,the misunderstading one,however when you change,They will always make you remember you're past self and the mistake you made,you're trauma...I'm sick,tired,I want to end up my life,But It feel I can't,Why?Oh..It's because you're muslim,It's forbbiden to think like that or end you're life otherwise,you're going to hell...And I can't change my religion...Why?Oh..It's because you will be and always be a dispointed... Thank for taking you're time to read
Yall. Why can’t my mom love me when I self harm too? She’ll ignore them. Point them out but not do anything. I want help. Professional help. But I don’t have the time. And asking myself is not what I want. I want people to know I need help too.
I remember my mother was having a talk to me about su!c!d3 saying people my age are starting to commit it and she told me if I tried to do it she would Litterally kill me and I remember thinking if I try to do it why would you do that? Cause that would make me want to die even more and now being older I realize how toxic my family was to me. My dads side doesn’t really care about me and favors my sister, and once I came out as a pansexual every time they saw a rainbow they would say “oh hey look it’s --“ I don’t want to expose my name just so you guys know so that’s why I put the tags.
To whoever reads this, i love you i love your smile i love your laugh i love your personality i love your hair (or lack thereof) i love your insecurities i love your accomplishments i love your failures i love your eyes i love your beauty i love your handwriting (or the way you communicate) i love the way you dance i love you on your happy days i love you on your sad days i love you on the days you feel lonely i love you on the days you feel helpless i love you on the days you feel like no one cares i love you on the days you feel forgotten i love you on the days you feel unmotivated i love you on the days you feel loved i love you on the days you feel sick i love you on the days you feel motivated i love you on the days you feel depressed i love you on the days you feel stressed i love you on the days you feel crazy i love you on the days you feel worthless I LOVE YOUUUUU 😍😍😍😍😍😍
This really resonates with me. Although home conditions havent changed much for me, my point of view on them has changed significantly. I can’t see “home” the same anymore. Growing up in a place with an abusive father, and being manipulated by him on numerous occasions to overwhelm myself mentally before I was even in the double digits. He broke me into the person I am now, a forced perfectionist, afraid to talk to people and vent frustrations, and even simply being in the same room as him. I hardly even leave my own room now, all because I am too afraid to face my own scars that have yet to heal. As much as I go out to a select few people about it, they don’t understand, and I just feel tosses aside and neglected. America hasn’t been really good for me either especially with trump and all (I’m trans). I really don’t know what to do anymore. Old plans leading to nothing, and wounds that wont heal. Maybe I’ll grow the guts to go through and be free from my own purgatory.
I hope you know that although it’s bad now, that time will change. The bad is what makes us or breaks us. I understand how your perception of home has changed. Especially with the impact your father has had on you. I want you to know (This may be cliche), but you’re never alone. There are people who are going through the exact same things. I would recommend finding things in life that are joyous. Beautiful. Like how the bird sing in the morning. Or, how the fact you’re even here right now. I know you might not be religious, but I want you to know that the fact you are an alive is a sign God has a plan for you. You, I, everyone, could die anytime at any moment. So, I want you to know that you matter. And, I’m glad you are alive. Other than all that paragraph, I love you. And, I’m truly grateful you have fought through all this
@@Ronni74 This just means so much to me. Even though this is all things I’ve heard plenty of times before, it always seemed so…in-genuine, and spontaneous. But really, thank you. Reading this has genuinely moved me to tears, and really, I cannot tell you how thankful I am to be able to see that, as small as it is.
u wanna know something?... i hate it and i mean fucking HATE it when parents yell at there own kids because they did something wrong its like why do that kids make mistakes its part of life i mean it makes the kids feel worthless...and thats how my childhood was and the funny thing is i'm still a kid its just feels like i ain't a kid no more its comfort ur kids or other people wil...i'll gladly comfort anyone i don't care what they did i would just comfort them as long as they need
I distinctly remember (I have a really bad memory and for me to remember details to anything is super rare) the moment my parents and siblings broke the news they were banning me from ever talking to my best friends, true support system, and partner again. I cried so much and only kept repeating "I want to go home" over and over and over even though I was in my house, in my room. And it hurts so much because it still hasn't been that long since that happened, and it hurts more knowing that I may be wasting my tears because my story isn't as bad as other peoples are.
Oh I have a very good memory unlike you but it just hurts me more I see people I used to know everyday, every week they look at me and it hurts when someone who hurt me mentally happy while I just smile to smile and I laugh to laugh
I wanna turn 14 until I can runaway for a month, but since im still young, I have to wait a while,but imma save this Playlist, till that day, wish me luck!
as a person who doesnt know what love is, and thinks its a waste of space, since i already know all of these i relate to them, this playlist is just a bunch of my relations in a way. im a freak, and many other things as they call me, they dont understand how things are rough wherever i go and how the only peace i find is letting myself sink or float in some kind of water because the sound of it just calms me. Yea i know, your probably like "Ew why is this weirdo commenting venting and stuff thats so random like keep your sh!t private" and if you wanna make fun of me to boost your ego, then do as you please. i dont care anymore.
It's not your fault Your not a problem You are perfect You aren't fat You aren't skinny You aren't the problem You aren't a bad person You are wonderful You aren't a crybaby Your don't deserve them You love yourself You are clean You are kind Your are the person that everyone wants Your skin isn't a paper... don't cut it Your face isn't a mask... don't hide it Your heart isn't a door... don't lock it Your size isn't a book... don't judge it Your life isn't a movie... don't end it Your neck isn't a rope... don't hang it Your body isn't for sale... don't sell it Your brain isn't a stone... don't crush it Your life is an inspiration...be proud of it Love yourself.. you are perfect no matter what you do. The past of you suffering will end Your suffering will end Don't c^t your body your hair Don't kill your self yet. If you have a pet it will make your problem go away They get mad at you for being soo perfect They blame you because you are so pretty/handsome/stunning You are brighting the world.. you are a true star Keep going.. it will past. We love you don't stop being kind to everyone The kindness will speard and the kidness will also pay you back. They love you they just don't wanna show the loveness for you You are so perfect that everyone gets mad and jealous Give everyone a second chance not too many tho your eyes is perfect your nose is perfect your height is perfect your skin is perfect your mouth is perfect your hair is perfect your face is perfect your body is perfect your hands is perfect your fingers is perfect your teeth is perfect your waist is perfect Your torso is perfect your legs are perfect your thighs are perfect your tounge and everything is perfect YOU are perfect love your body and everything You are so greatful for what you have. Ignore the bad people you dont want them to get attached to you And leave your fake friends You deserve better. Don't give up Cheer up aswell Pretty/handsome/stunning person. We are proud to see you alive. We are so proud We love your smile We love your laugh We love your personality So don't give up We love you. We love you so much Don't end it too fast. Don't commit Don't get controled Don't make them control you like a puppet Do your own way Do everthing you like Ignore the rude people Ignore the hate Ignore getting yelled There's people by your side and always be. We love you no matter what you do to yourself. They don't know what your been through They ain't been in your shoes Don't belive them they are liars Love youself. We are proud of you existing here We love you so much.. NEVER GIVE UP You're precious You made it this far. And it's so amazing that you are still here
i was living in one house since i was born. i was living almost in poverty, without friends, i was inschool i hated. i moved with my family. now i realise that it wasnt that bad..
its currently 7:06 am i may have started this around 6:30 or something but this is for my girlfriend i dont think ill ever send this to her it feels so venerable for me and if this doesn't last i dont want her to know how much i feel for her. I've known her for 8 months and have been dating her for 23 days "Rori i love you and i'll tell you as much as you need to hear it i don't care if its two, three times i'll tell you just how much i love you. I love your hair your eyes your laugh your smile your sadness your depression i love your soul your personality i love the fact you dont fuck around i love how cute you can be how lovable you are and how some people just dont see the girl i see. It pains me the fact that you go through so much mental abuse i wish i could just take you away and damn you know i would if i could if it where up to me id hold you forever and never let you go and just shield ou from everything wrong with this fucking hell hole we call a world its not fair. It's not fair I'm here and you're not it's not fair I can't kiss you and tell you everything will be okay. It's not fair that you are hurting, it's not fair that your mother screams at you for just wanting a safe place to speak freely. I hate that i can't tell you how beautiful you are and kiss the scars adorned on your skin i hate that i'm not there with you i hate myself for not being with you sooner and not finding you. I've never felt this way. It's so different and new it feels like my heart is burning it hurts. But I can't get enough. I can't get enough of you. I can't run away from you. I'll hold you until I can't bear the pain. I'll let your mother point a gun at me before I let her hurt you anymore she can try. I don't care what it takes i want to hold you i want this to be my last relationship with anyone i want you to be my forever i want you to hold me i want to hold you i want to kiss your lips i want to play with your hair i want to see your sweet smile and move hair from your eyes as we both cringe at it i want to watch movies with you and laugh at how stupid they are i want to share candy and do that cute intertwining with our arms and feed each other things i want to be with you i need to be with you i can't take this anymore it hurts i miss you. I hadn't realized how much I needed you till you were gone. I need you to be strong for me i need you to be happy i need to see your smile i need to have you i need us i want us and i'll be a selfish child ill throw a tantrum without you i want to be able to walk up to people and say ‘this is my girlfriend’ i want to hold you and spin you in the air i want to cry in your arms as i see you i can't take this anymore it hurts. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to sit here and rot away in bed. I don't want to miss you anymore. I want to have you in my bed and watch stupid shit with you. I want to sleep on your chest and we both fall asleep. I've never seen myself doing the things i want to do with you, with anyone else i don't think i want to imagine it i don't want a world without you i can't take it i cant handle not seeing you happy i want to take everything every problem every worry every tear every suicidal thought and turn it to ash with my kisses i want to see every stretch mark every scar every freckle on your skin and tell you how much i love them how much i love you i love your dorky self i love how cute you are when you’re excited i want to watch your eyes light up like a child on christmas day i want to set fireworks off in your heart everytime you look at yourself in the mirror i want to give you my gaze for just a moment so you can see how damn beautiful you are. I drew you. Multiple times i want to continue to draw you i want to look back at my drawings and not stop and look at the wasted talent i've done on other people i want your art to feel like my brothers to feel like it's not going anywhere else to feel the reassurance that its not gonna eventually be hated by my mind i want you to feel loved to feel cherished and if i'm not the one giving that to you i'm either dead or barely alive because i don't want to let you go to let US go i don't want to be alone anymore Jellybean it hurts i cant handle it anymore i love you okay i want to be buried together to grow old together and watch the kids across the street play on our porch while we drink tea and eat croissants i want to watches sunrises sunsets with you i want to gaze at the moon and stars with you i want to grow a garden with you i want my mom and my father to look at you and see a daughter. I want to take pictures with you and talk about how cringe it is. We take so much. I want to hold your hands. I want to kiss you in front of everybody. I can't believe how in love I am with you. I can't believe I haven't met you sooner. Rori I said the prayer i asked god to make me not love you if you werent the one and here i am writing a stupid note for you to may never ever read. But i can’t not say this it feels to bottled up and yet i've written so much it doesn't feel enough words aren't enough nothing's enough a thousand words a thousand pictures a thousand flowers a thousand nights and days a thousand birds and clouds nothing feels enough to express the love i have inside for you i stopped biting my nails i stopped having thoughts of self harm and self destruction with you i feel so warm and i can't stop smiling i want to have you forever i want us to have fights but to talk it out after we cool down i don’t want this to end i don’t want us to end i don’t want to love you the thought hurting me i'll wait forever if i have to i ll wait a thousand days a thousand months a thousand years i don’t care i want you i don't need anybody else im finally happy with were i am i don't want to settle for less i dont want anything more because you're more than enough you feel like an overflowing glass of love and warmth and i don’t want to spill it i don't want to be without you i can't express how much i want to hold you and just hold your hand i need to be with you i feel like i can't take it anymore your voice isn't enough i need you i think about you and i smile i don't want to lose that i can't lose that if i do i feel like i'm gonna never be happy again. I feel so stupid writing all of this down. Writing how much i love someone it feels like i'm bare and exposed in the light but i can't help it anymore i genuinely can't go without saying this i feel like sucha weights off my shoulders i feel like a fool for not really expressing it the way i really should i know that i'm not a good girlfriend or a friend for that matter i know i'm a little rough around the edges but i promise i have good intentions and i would never want to hurt you in any way the thought itself … The thought of hurting you or me hurting you. I don't know what I'd do with myself if I knew I hurt you and made you cry. I wouldn't know what to do if I were the one who made your mascara run and I would feel so awful. Rori Elizabeth Sharkie i love you i love you so much it hurts i love you so much it's spilling from my eyes as tears some think im sad but no it's not that im sad its that i have so much pent up emotion for you i don't know how else to express it i don't know what to do with this i don't know what to do with myself these words mean nothing to me this whole thing means nothing to me because words simply cant express the love i have for the word love isn't enough you make me feel like i cant breath but i can at the same time you feel like the cold wind as i'm about to pass out from heat i feel like i'm worth something with you i feel so numb when i'm alone even when my social battery is out i feel like i could just sit there on the phone with you in silence and we’d not even have to talk. Our gaze against each other is just enough to know the warms of your fingertips on my lips the feeling of your breath on my hands as you kiss them the thought of being that close to you makes me want to faint and go insane you make me insane in all the best ways the love i want to leave adorned on your skin as you feel loved id tear everything apart for you if you asked me id walk the fires of hell and back for you i'd give my everything just to hear you say that you love me just as much as i love you i'd give anything to hear these words spoken, written, or even thought back to me i want to heal someone it's just the two of us and you can tell me everything and not be scared ill judge you i want to hear these words so bad that id get on my knees and beg id worship the ground you walked upon every breath every state every movement i'd give ANYTHING to make sure you're wrapped in a blanket of love just as long as you're happy as long as you give me this love back to me i'll be happy i don't need anything else from you i just need your love i've already given you my heart. Please PLEASE please please … Please never return it. I tell my father about you i tell my mother and i can't stop talking my friends ears off with your name all they hear is Rori Rori Rori Rori Rori i just can't help it i love you so much it burns i want it to burn i need to know Rori … please do you love me the same do you feel all of this too do you want more do you feel everything too? Please i need to know. "
As a child I always felt so happy at home and school, I thought my life was great and it would continue but now nowhere feels home at times I look down on my balcony and think about ya know, later I got the feeling or hating myself or blaming myself for everything and nothing has gotten better for 2 years..
Two years ago, I took my first step in battling depression. I went to an educational camp and found that I had never felt like I was home before. I was lucky, that jolt of realization that something was going wrong allowed me to get six months closer to the surface of this damn depression swamp. This spring I almost decided that this year I would give up the activities that brought me to this camp to study for exams. if I had admired one of my teachers a little less, I would have missed the announcement of her poetry collection and maybe, without the hope of feeling at home again, I would have gradually returned to depression. maybe I wouldn't have lived to see the end of this summer. I keep fighting and hoping for the best, but i still think that something is wrong(maybe with me) because i dont felt like i was home most of my life
The way i start to cry when i hear this songs is really weird man (maybe its nostalgic because in 2022 i listened 2 them with my friends and now they're all gone)JDJBFKFBDJ WAHDKGNG
im abt to be free though ive been saving up and now have enough to run away and live comfortably until i get a new job! im so excited to be free from this shit show
I love my family, I do. But with my mom constantly making problems out of everything and yelling about everything, I just don't want to come home anymore.
That's exactly how I feel with my parents. I love them, because I can't help it, but we have our very frequent moments. I'd run away but I'm scared ill get caught and it'll just be worse. I hope it gets better
Same I love my mom but her anger is so much that I can’t do it At all any more I just am almost numb and she hates that too she beat me with an extension cord I can’t even remember why she did it
Alright. vent time. TW: Self harm and trauma. So first. i had a bit of a trauma experience. a old 'friend' who hit and kicked me. telling me: BE MY FRIEND OR ELSE! I Have problem with self harming.Its funny how random people are more comforting then my own friends/family/girlfriend. To be honest every comment makes me cry. i feel weak. everyone says im weak and fat. i haven't eaten in a day. i'm hungry but not t the same time. i think i might have ADHD. i have struggles with: Concentrating. Organizing and i have a huge lack of motivation. i used to love art. now i'm just sick of it.. can anyone please help?...
A few months ago I was dating this girl and we had been dating for about 5 months when we broke up, I didn’t realize it until we broke up that I was being mentally abused and manipulated. She sat at our table after the fact and ate dinner with us. In short I was forced to share a meal, a table and a room with the person who drove me to the brink of suicide. And all along I thought that I was the problem.
Let's play list is really relatable, but at the same time for me, home is never felt like home. School was. I'm thinking about posting my story in stuff on Reddit and if I ever do, I'll probably update this comment if I remember. Stay safe, If you have bad parents, also don't let them control you. You can do this💙
@@ko_hoshi Put yourself together again the way you like to. You are the only one who know how. Wishing you strength for the journey. Don’t worry about what others think. You must be happy with you. That’s all that matters.❤️🩹
We have decided to move because of all of the trauma that has gone on inside my house, now that my dads gone we decided to try to start over. We won’t forget our memories with him, but just being here hurts.
Listening to this till i move out cuz there's no reason i should feel more relaxed with my friends then my mom and younger brothers..and freefall (iykyk) isn't an option since my older siblings shouldn't have a dead little sister......
Hi! I don't want to bother you or something, but I saw your comment and I wanted you to know that you're not alone in this. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you, okay?
Kinley I love you so much. I love your smile. I love your eyes. I love your hair. I love you for who you are. I love your personality. I love how funny you are. I love how you make me happy. Every time I see you I feel so happy. I feel safer with you. I love you kinley. I love you so much. I wish I lived with you. I wish we had a apartment to gather. I love you kinley so much. I love you honey.
TW I wanna go home when I’m at school I hate fucking school. I’m so fucking stupid I get bad grades when I actually try. When I’m at home I wanna go to school. I can’t have a fucking conversation with anyone without being shouted at, my mum and dad obviously don’t love each other. And my mum calls me anything and doesn’t apologies. I’m not living in just existing I used to have so much fun at school I used to be loud and giggly but now I’m literally just existing. I listen to all my friends vent over the phone when I’ve literally not ate in days and have just had a failed attempt.
Listen to me very clearly. Your best will look different every day. Ignore anything bad your mom says about you, you know who and what you are. You will live one day. That day is not today, so your best shot is to wait till you reach it. Focus on YOURSELF. No one but you matters at this point. Grab a little bite of food, I don't care if it's just a single bite, I just want you to eat. Try having a conversation, i know this might seem blunt but hear me out. A conversation can be any small sentence you negotiate with someone; whether it's ordering food or just saying hello. Don't feel embarrased when your talking, good chance they'll forget or you won't see them for a while. Whenever you feel like attempting, shake it off. The second that thought hits, try to forget it and distract yourself. find a hobby, doesnt matter what it is. Don't do drugs or alchohol, cause that'll screw you up even more. The second you turn 18 youll have your freedom, but you still have to work for it. There's always gonna be a " what if" in the back of your mind, just remember that.
Any music playlist that has to do with family issues or your house no longer feeling like a home is just perfect in my opinion. The reason it's perfect is because I relate to it so much. The house that I lived in when I was a little kid stopped feeling like home because my parents got divorced and we had to move. Then we moved in with my grandparents and that house was great. After a few years of living with my grandparents, my mom got us a house and it felt like home but then we moved because she got remarried. Once she got remarried and we were in a house it felt like home. But the moment I was grieving the death of my grandpa who was my best friend, Grandpa and Father figure all rolled into one that's when my house started to not feel like a home. From October 2020 to now my house is no longer a home. My stepdad has emotionally and verbally abused me more times than I can count. It's a good thing my mom is getting divorced and we're moving because I want to be in a house where I'm not being abused and it's loving, happy, and actually feels like a home.
It’s kinda sad…i was used to be abused my father always had hurt me and my mother years ago my mother and father had a divorce now. Live at my mothers but I’ve got a step dad now but he was a millitaire just like my father so.. im always scared of him but I don’t show it… never bully someone if you don’t know they’re story!
Why can't my mommy love me..? Why am I always the problem? Am I the problem..? Am I really that useless and ungreatful..? Am I really that bad of a person.? I'm trying, I don't know if I can anymore. I don't even know if ill.make it past 18... I'm trying hard to be a better person and daughter and sister but it's dotn working. I'm trying so hard, mommy please listen to me, please love me. Mommy please love me like you did before.. I just want to be loved by you..
Why is it that I feel so sad for no reason? I have it going all good. A family. Friends. A pet. A place to sleep. I don’t get it. I mean my mom would tell me I fit around and do nothing or that I need to do better but she still loves me and my dad is the best. My siblings is a hand full at times but I love them. I have literally everything I could ever want. Yet I lay here I my bed not wanting to do anything. I have no reason to feel the way I feel. Yet I feel so exhausted and empty even if I don’t really do anything. I don’t know anymore.
I love my family, yet don't trust them like I should. My two separate families, my mom's and my dad's. I want to forgive my father, for the pain he's caused, for the childhood I've missed, the mistake I've made because of him, the things I've never learned from him... I want to trust my mom, for the love she's shown, for the care she's given, for the strength she has, for the her endurance and perseverance. But I can't. Something stops me, chains me from feeling forgiveness, from trust. I feel lost, I feel hopeless, yet know that either I carry on, fight through it, push against the struggles, and live through my problems. Or I can give up and let those I care about and love and lift up, down. I choose to fight. And so will you. It's not worth letting go, it's not worth giving up. You will work to be better, and if you can't do it alone, then I will help you. I will pull you to your feet, hold you steady, push you forward. We will get through this together. I love you all.
Crying on the floor like i am rn hits different,i've recently moved and back in 2019 (at my old house on new years) it stopped feeling like home,i keep on thinking we are on holiday and i said:"i want to go home" then realised i am home.
This hits a spft spot, because I honesty dont know where homw is anymore, i used to live with my mom and dad, then my dad left, so i lived with my mom for 2 or 3 years then my dad got custody of me and we moved to west Virginia where we stayed with my grandma then we got a home, and every week i go to my friends and my grandmas and i berly see my dad and when i do see him if he is in a bad mood he yells at me or his family, like as I was typeing this i was joking around with him and i didnt know he was stressed so u kinda got yelled at for it. It suck how i dread going how and school the only places i am ok with going it my friends or grandmas.
i feel like i'm the error,not my family. my dad is an alcoholic and clearly doesn't love my mom, but they can't divorce since we're 4 childs. Mom is losing hope for my dad to going back to a normal father. My dad doesn't even wants my mom to wear long skirts,he's possessive and jealous. We have problems w money too,my mom is becoming worser. my grandpa lives w us too,and he treats us like we're his slaves. at least i have my siblings and pets...am i the error? whoever reads this,answer please.
This hits waaaayyyy to hard….i left home a few days ago and don’t know if I’ll ever have to go back or not. All the good memories got corrupted. It fucking sucks when your told that your parents are goanna be the ones there for you and then their not.
i recently herd a saying "people are like clouds, life's so much brighter once they leave" but what am i supposed to do now that my Sun has left? they said they're going to paint the sky pretty for me in their final moments, how is anything supposed to look pretty without them? its all my fault
I grew up my whole life with my grandma, at her house, because my mom was too busy to care for me. My mom manipulated me into thinking my grandmother was the bad one, i moved in with my mom this year and i regret it so badly. I hate how she treats me like a maid and favorites my sister. It hurts alot, if you know you will mistreat your kids, dont have any. Because its not worth putting a child through that crap
Not me (me) trying to suffocate myself but I just can't for my best friend she is the only one keeping me alive 😕 and no one knows about me almost crying every night and trying to die but i think I'm just sadness part of life rn so love you super star! ⭐️
I love my parents I really do… but sum times they say things to me that break my heart more and more. When I was in soccer (the year was 2022) they kept telling me I need to do this and this was every soccer game so I started to think I wasn’t good a nuff, I was also get bullied at this time being called fat, stupid, etc. The one day I cut my hair a little above my shoulders to donate it and when I went to school I got called an ugly rag. These comments hurt me so bad I would cry every night. I am doing better now but am still working through it, so my friends feel more like home that my home does.
Everyone around me acts like because my mom is nice now that I'm ok when I'm still struggling from everything I've been through because they won't stop replaying in my mind and it sucks.
I’ve just started exercising more ever since 2019 when my favourite brother passed. I have gained so much weight since then it hit me so hard I hated my life feeling like shits going downhill like I felt like I couldn’t go forward bc I felt like people hated me for being me so I started acting like them and they asked why I am so annoying like shit man I needed new friends but I live in such a small town fk man I want to live my life like I have to move on for a reason but time I feel like o don’t belong here and I feel like I can’t do it anymore so I started to exercise to hurt myself more it’s like a benefit except I don’t have to hurt my skin lol fk I’m dumb but I’m in grade ten idk if I could make it to grade twelve it’s just all waying me down
For me, I grew up in Houston with my parents and my sister, and about three years ago my parents decided to split ways, my dad moving into an apartment not too far from my house. My parents soon divorced, and my relationship with my mom grew weak and brittle. We always fought. My mom dated a lot, my dad dated as well, (he got engaged then just flat out bailed on it) and then my mom found a guy that was in his mid 50s. I was forced to leave everything I ever known to live in a small town called Alvin. Away from my dad, my grandparents, my friends. My mom ruined everything for me and I’m not going to accept it.
i had to listen to this bc after my kitten who had died from kidney failure my family decided to remake the house and stuff and i went to my room crying bc i felt like we removing everything that had all the good memories and i miss it i wish i had it back and soon am starting school soon and i dont wanna go bc all the teachers think am lying when am not and i had to be with girl that kept making be her friend lets call a bc i dont wanna use her real name so A would make stuff abt me and last year i had no friends from lie that i had lice and bed bugs and fleas when i didnt and one day i had to be with on a group project and she kept making me do all the work and i did and she kept begging me to be her friend and i did bc she wouldnt stop and one day i had to go the bathroom and went i got back I GOT IN TROUBLE FOR NO REASON FROM HER bc she said i was being a bad friend and she kept making my life worse and i almost decided to yk kill myself from her and she bullying me when my cat died so ye i still have to be her friend my mom doesnt do anything abt it or my teachers and i still think about killing myself but i dont wanna
I always thought home was a house. I always thought that home was a place, not a feeling. I never realized how much I missed out on when I finally found "home". I found what I thought was home, but it really wasn't. It was more like.. a model home. It looks great and comfortable, but it just.. doesn't feel right. I don't know if I'll ever find a true home, but I will definitely try. For now, though, I have to take care of myself. And to whoever reads this, you should, too. I hope you find your home. Good luck, and tell me how it goes?
To the people wo want to commit, dont.. i say things like that sometimes but remember that theres things to do more than give up, you may hate the things thats going on right now but its okay.. believe yourself.. have a good day/night :3
I don’t wanna be at home anymore. Sure, my parents cared for me all my life but. My dad’s never home, and if he is all he does or care about is drinking. He never pays me any attention but if he does, it’s to tell me I’m fat or to yell at me. My mum is at home more often but we don’t talk. If we do, she yells at me for being a lazy fuck, my sister ignores me. My brothers all moved out except one but he’s in the military and I see him once a year. Home doesn’t feel like home anymore, I want my mum to know how I really feel. But I’m scared she’ll make fun of me for it or tell me I’m overreacting. I’m even more scared of she tells my dad, he doesn’t believe in mentall illnesses.
Hey, I know your comment is already 2 months old, but if you want to vent I can give you some of my social networks, I have Instagram, Twitter, and Discord
I'm only 16 but I honestly don't know what I'm doing with my life, I stopped going to school and I'm too scared to go back cuz I'm gonna get held back, I do nothing but smoke weed and lay down listening to music, my stepmom does drugs and is paranoid about everything, I've been socially isolating myself and my social anxiety is getting worse, I feel stuck, I haven't vented to anyone in a few years and nothing is helping me escape reality anymore. I don't see any other way out.
I had a plan to run away already set, but they were destroyed when I busted up my knee, I already had a dangerous infection in that leg that almost took it, and if I get another infection I probably will. I just want to be free yet no matter how close I get, something throws me back to the start. I forgot my skateboard at my dad's and I probably won't get it till next year unless he decides I'm worth visiting and brings it to me which probably won't happen. I'm probably not even going to bring it, I just can't stay here anymore. It's not like I'm abused, well not physically anymore, but I'm not even allowed to go outside without an adult. It's a prison.
hi, I’m a runaway, I ran away from home because I was abused physically and mentally. I don’t recommend running away, but if you do make sure to collect a lot of money, pack some food, pack some clothes, shoes, and whatever else you want, make sure not to go to places that are popular or you’re family usually goes to, you can also see if you can stay at a friends house for a little, if you have long hair and don’t want to be recognized then I suggest you cut it
![I dont want to be here [vent playlist]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/OKkp2-FX7Uk/mqdefault.jpg)
![I dont want to be here [vent playlist]](/img/tr.png)
0:01 devil town -cavetown
2:54 numbers -temporex
4:49 cigarettes out the window -tv girl
6:22 jealous -eyedress
6:58 rät -Penelope Scott
9:54 alien blues -vundabar
12:29 freaks - surf curse
14:13 notion -the rare occasions
15:23 i can’t handle change -ROAR
17:25 505 -arctic monkeys
20:43 feel better -Penelope Scott
24:56 nothings new -rio Romeo
28:21 blow my brains out -tikkle me
30:08 help_urself -Ezekiel
Why are almost all the songs you have named here are my favourites
Ty for the time stamps
Bro the first 4 were exactly in order of one of my spotify playlists lmaoooo
@@Hi...203hsjik ✨trauma?✨
@@BreadLoafz no I don't think I have that bad of truma just being insecure and a cry baby lol
Ever cried in bed wishing that you were at school but when you were at school wished you were at home? But at the same time you know that there is no home to you, and that everywhere you go, toxicity is everywhere.
ever been home, but think 'i wanna go home'
@@quietpond Exactly. You understand!
this is me 24/7. i end up just wanting to be somewhere but no where at the same time
@@atlas_th3_d33r I hope you get better
@@Vic_toryhaeun aw thanks I hope the same for you
An artist,
An artist, but never planned to paint on her skin,
An artist who paints with crimson color dripping down,
Her wrist, painted
Dripping,on the floor,
Dripping,on a pillowcase,
The only colour she knew, all she knows
An artist,
Who feels safe in pain,
An artist,
But never planned to feel the art of such heartache,
Such aching heart,
None could fix,
An artist, but
Never planned having a soul of such empty colors,
An artist,
But never had the imagination to picture such loneliness,
An artist,
But never brave enough to color her canvas, so that one day she could adore her painting without a damaged paper,
So that one day,
She could see colors again.
-a weird kid:)
Damn…
Your not weird!!
I understood the second i saw she painted with crimson. I almost cried reading this. It has so much meaning and yet it is so simple and you need each part to form the next.
Wait stop it fits me (your not alone)
SOMEONE GIVE THIS PERSON A GRAMMY THIS POETRY SLAPPED THE DEPRESSION OUT OF ME
If you're watching this hoping to cry your eyes out wanting to feel something again, like me. All my support and all my prayers fall into you. I wish you a blessed life. i hope you feel better soon.
You're enough.
am i…
@n0m-n0myyes. Yes you are
This hits hard. In November I left behind my dads house. The house I’ve spent my entire life in. All the good memories in that place poisoned by the screams of an alcoholic father. The house I had tea parties With my grandmother as a child turned into the house I have a dark memory in each corner of the house. This playlist very well describes or represents my mentality. It felt like a prison. I will say if you can make it through life dose get better. You just have to hang in keep working and keep hoping. I know there are people in worse situations then mine was but I fully believe they can make it to the other side and find joy. It may take a while but it will come.
My dads an alcoholic and he does drvgs so like idk why i feel more comfortable with him and at his house
I understand I’m sorry you have to go through it.
@@Asher.OnP4wsit could be the comfortability of familiarity . Even if something is bad, we can find comfort in it if we have had nothing but that.
i dont get to see my dad or pal or mal dad went to jail i cant see pal he dose drvgs and is a drvg dealer and mal is with him and pal is abuseive and wont let her leave... so this comment helped me as im going through depression u helped me 💗
I don't have problems with parents being addicted to things but I have major anxiety Nd some depression and I never get sleep because I cry everyday from my mama and dad fighting .One time my mom was going to leave and she told me to pack .but she never told my other 2 siblings .. But my dad got her to calm down a bit .I cried and screamed to much I almost puked .I'm only 13 and my siblings are 3 years younger .And I have so many thoughts that stress me out that I have oulled out my hair and then if I over work my self I either like in my mouth or just be deeply zoned out and I also have anger issues .I was told by my doc that my meds are helping and that I just need therapy I did it but nothing helped . I habe the sound of my mother saying that I caint mentality Handel it . She said this when I had a huge break down she said n this when my dad asked if it's because of things I watch/hear .( I watch funny things and stuff about makeup) and all I think k of is when I cried at the doctos because they were talking like if I'm insane. Last week I had a thought that if something happened to my sister it would be my fault and that I'm the worst sister ever because I didn't spend time with her. And every one would be sad all because of me .At my grandpaps funeral. I blamed my self for being a horrible person because of not spending time with him when I visited him at family gatherings. I can never stop thinking of the worst a d that has never changed even with my meds .My anger makes it worst . I blame my self for a tone of things that has happened .I cry so much that my pillows have stains from my tears . I usually cry my self to sleep when I do actually sleep with I normally don't . I sleep only on sat and Mon .
It feels like we live at school and visit Home now.
I'm scared to go home and school.
It's horrible at school and *home* .
I hate school and *home*
I hate how I'm going to secondary school next year, I'm scared on walking there, getting there on the bus, going home by myself and most importantly:
I'm scared of growing up.
It hurts when home doesn’t feel like home, but it’s still your home. Parents don’t feel like parents, but they’re still your parents. It hurts when you love your family more than anything even if they broke you in pieces and you still let them do it because you love them too much. It hurts knowing that the little brother that you grew up with is totally different from you and will never understand you… because he’s way more mentally stable than you, so for him you are just a freak. It hurts knowing that this brother in question probably hates you, because you became toxic just like your parents and you loved your family too much to be rebellious enough to break the cicle. It hurts knowing that he’s way better than you even if is younger and will probably run far away from you too, because you are no better than the parents that broke you in the past and you know that your way to love will break him too. It hurts wanting him to be just like you so you won’t lose your only friend, the child you always loved so much. It hurts being such a shitty person. It hurts when you know that you house turned you like this. It hurts having to vent this on a youtube comment because you can’t say that in front of your parents.
It hurts knowing that in my house i’m the villain too.
I feel so desperate, but i will keep a straight face in front of the walls of this house.
Sorry for venting, thank you for reading.
It is never too late if you can acknowledge the problem I yourself I beg you to try if you can to get help and try to protect you brother and yourself from more damage💞 goog luck
@@lily-he1kt You’re a kind soul. I’m really trying my best and i’m looking for a new therapist because the old one didn’t take any appointments with me anymore. I’m really trying my best.
I believe that you will find someone to help you. I wish I could help more but just know I am thinking and praying for you💗
@@lily-he1kt thank you so much
Anytime time you wonderful person💞
What are you doing here so late?
Can't sleep?
Ah. Coming to cry in the middle of the night.
I get that.
It feels nice to do that, so I understand.
Take all the time you need.
You know, I just happened to find you stumble upon the video where I'm taking a break.
Wanna sit down for a while?
Tell me about what's bothering you?
Oh, don't worry about me. I don't find you annoying.
I wanna be here for you.
I'll try to help as best as I can.
I won't judge you. Everyone has their own story.
Ah, that sucks.
I can't begin to imagine how you must feel.
You're so tough for getting through all of that.
I'm so proud of you for not giving up.
Of course I understand.
One broken soul to another.
I just want to remind you.
No matter how hard it gets, please stay strong.
Take care of yourself.
You can't go into a battle already wounded.
You can't wave the white flag without trying your hardest.
This will all be over soon.
And hey.
If you ever need to take another break, I'm always here.
Helping people is my specialty.
They always find their way, one way or another.
You can come sit down with me any time.
I'll try to lend some advice, or just an ear to listen.
And if this is your last time visiting me, I'm proud of you.
My job is done.
Go take on life with all your energy, and remember that you have one soul always cheering you on.
You'll always have my support.
I can't wait to see the great things you'll achieve.
Before you go...
I love you.
omg thats so sweet damn
You’re so sweet..
@@noremiXP yw } :3
The fact that your pfp is gojo makes it even better
ty for that. I’m not sure why, but it helped
WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THE TEXT SOUND?? RIGHT BEFORE 7:57 TS GOT ME BRUH TWICE
Same😭
The fact that the notification went off is when she stopped singing
FR 😭
I thought I got a notification. It threw me off so hard
Same
not the accidental notification ding during rat. 💀
I fr thought I got texted for once LMAO😭💀
Bruh I was so confused for a second until I heard it😭😭😭💀
Nah cuz I was so confused and I checked my messages 💀
@@user_stfub REAL
@@zer0sug4r SAME
I love your hair (or lack thereof)
I love your eyes
I love your nose
I love your gender
I love your mouth
I love your face
I love your grades
I love your heart
I love your sadness
I love your happiness
I love your loneliness
I love your kindness
I love your voice
I love your singing
I love your art
I love your practice
I love your work
I love your time
I love your music taste
I love your strength
I love your handwriting
I love your weakness/weaknesses
I love you when your kind
I love you when your mean
I love you when your smart
I love you when you dont feel loved
I love you when you are you
I love you forever
I love you now
I love you every day
I love you every month
I love you every year
I love you every second
I love you every minute
I love you every hour
I love you every time you cry
I love you every time your happy
I love you every time you are you
-----------------------------------
You right there, yes im talking to you. You are an amazing person, you can do anything your heart desires, you can have fun, you can be yourself, dont be someone that you dont want to be, be you. Love yourself for who you are. you never know if you'll see somebody that you love for the last time. Live life, be kind to people, ignore the haters, keep being yourself for who you are.
----------------------------------
I love your neck, dont hang it.
I love your body, dont cut it.
I love your life, dont end it..
------------------------------
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I LOVE YOU 100%
-From person on the internet who *loves* you.
thank u that really help i cried while reading this because i thought about ending my life.....
its funny how you would rather talk to a stranger on the internet than your own family
why is the title of this video so relatable...
Being depressed, but anxious is a fucking pain. Cuz I want to die, but I'm also afraid to. Who thought of this?!
me too.
Yeah. This is incredibly accurate. Like... incredibly.
[BTW - this is a review of every one of the songs and how they relate to my life and the title of the song, this is not a vent, do not think of it as one. I do not know why I did this]
Devil town always hurt so much, my parents never got it (I used to play it in the car to try and force them to get the hint) but it was my go-to sad song for years and still is. "Mom and dad aren't in love, guess I'll settle for two birthdays" and "I forgot my name again, I think that's something worth remembering" are so foreign and yet familiar. Like... home. 10/10 song choice
Numbers is also super accurate. Like, I always tried to convince myself that it was all fine because my grades were good and my parents weren't that bad, they never hit me and no one told me they were weird. But the line of the girlfriend just going "Hello?" always makes me think that he got a girlfriend and then didn't know what to do so he pushed her away. 7/10 song choice (the ending hurts my ears)
Cigarettes out the window is just my mother and father's marriage, honestly. 10/10 song choice, kinda liminal
Jealous - ah... the self-deprecating 'I'm not good enough for you' thought process. This is a key part of the loss of home 6/10 (cuz the song cut off)
Rat. "I loved you, I loved you, it's true. I wanted to be you and do what you do and so abused. I feel so used"... um, abused child coming to terms with their parent's abuse for 500 Alex. 10/10
Alien Blues - yup. Just yup. Just listen to the song. Yup. Teenage angst. Yup. 9/10.
Freaks -everyone is a freak. And feeling like that line, where you don't even want to wake up in the morning because you're so stricken with grief, depression, anxiety, PTSD, anything - that's what makes Home feel so foreign sometimes, because it's meant to be safe. And it's just not anymore. You're an outlier in your own house. 10/10 - also just a fucking banger
Notion - this song makes me long for a time I literally never experienced. It makes me long for moments of happiness within that sea of depression. Very good pick. 9/10, one point off because you hear it so god damn much.
I can't handle change. I never really liked this song. But it makes you just feel a kind of longing and pain because you know that longing is a lie. And that it doesn't even matter. It will never get better. That's the feeling this song makes you feel. I also can't handle change at all. I'll break down and cry and hit my head and scratch at myself and just freak out if something even in my room changes without my permission. So, yeah. 8/10 pick - it's been memed to hell and back, but it's still real good for that vibe of home no longer feeling safe.
505. I don't have an opinion on this. It just makes my chest hurt. And the lyrics are pretty good for the love you have for your parents and the hate you harbor towards them for the damage they caused. 7/10.
feel better. I just love the picture paired with this song, first off. Second off, this feels like a ramble you say to yourself in the mirror and then follow up with a scream and tearing your own hair out. Also, heartbreak. I haven't been through it yet - never been in a relationship- but it seems pretty accurate. No one wants to feel better if they don't believe they deserve it. 10/10
Nothing's New. It's a pretty alright song. It's alright. It's not as angsty as the rest of the song, I think anyways. 5/10
blow my brains out . The picture paired with this is fucking amazing. Everyone's heard this song from shorts or tiktok. I do agree it should go on here. Sometimes I wish that I could give someone my pain as well. Just to show them. Trade for a bit. "Unlucky me, who's aware of the pain, all because I have some brain" - yeah. 9/10
help_urself - This is memes out of fucking hell and got cut off. 3/10
Thanks for reading all of this. If you did - holy shit, good job. You know more about me than most of my friends, random stranger! o(*°▽°*)o. Um, yes, i'm okay.
Asher on Paws thanks for the playlist!
I want out of this house. I need out of this house. But i can't call cpa. I can't let my little brother have this much trama like me. I need to get him out of here.
Hi! I don't want to bother you or something, but I saw your comment and I wanted you to know that you're not alone in this. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you, okay?
Dayumm just walk 🤷♂
I’m so sorry! Remember you are strong! Good luck and I believe in you! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
as a kid i remember always thinking "i want to go home" when i was feeling uncomfortable
now i'm starting to think that while i'm at home
not even like things are bad at home, especially compared to others (which kinda describes everything for me; i feel shit but my situation isn't even that bad)
me too...
Don't say it's not that bad if you feel uncomfortable it is more than bad enough... Trust me I know how you feel
You and me bud
BRO I DID THE SAME
Believe me its bad im physically fine but I have 2 eating disorders social anxiety and ptsd from mental and emotional abuse
7:55 nearly had a heart attack because of this I thought my mom heard me crying-
I thought someone texted me 😭
@@Itz_sprinkledsameeee😢
I have good parents and good siblings yet I feel like they don't care about me. The only people who I tell my problems are me myself and I and my drawings are how I express how I am feeling yet people don't care for my art anymore. They all seem to hate it when I speak up a little louder so I can be heard and they say to be quiet then when I am upset they tell me to speak up more yet they never seem to notice when I'm upset and only when my siblings are.. no one has seen me cry in months.. I feel like I'm just a back round character who no one cares about or dosnt mind if they die.. I just feel stuck as if I'm alone in my room all the time trying to relax yet I get yelled at for every small little thing that happens even though it's not my fault.. sorry if I took up your time while you read this.. I'll let you get back to listening to this amazing playlist..
no its ok
@@FakeProtag_______ARFTSAL it doesn't feel okay. I still hurt. I feel like I've lost more friends every year all because I'm to emotional so I don't tell my friends how I'm actually feeling and just say I'm fine. I feel selfish when I express how I'm feeling. Nothing I do is right. I can't even tell my family whats going on. I havnt cried infront of anyone in so long or told anyone how I'm feeling. I'm sorry. Nothing feels right
@@lilacWilhelm I was saying no it's ok to you saying sorry if you took up your time btw. Also *Virtual hug*
@FakeProtag_______ARFTSAL thank you for the hug. Virtual hug to you as well
@@lilacWilhelm hope you get better
ME when I was a kid: I WANNA GO HOME! *happily*
ME now:"..." I don't wanna go home...I don't want to sleep...
I'm currently out right now, and i was scrolling through RUclips and i saw this playlist, and it really hits hard, i was out because my parents keep pestering me again, they keep controlling me, like I'm sort of like a puppet because I'm the only girl sibling, they keep saying "your the girl of the family you should be like.... and like..." and I'm honestly so fucking tired, of course i can't tell them that I'm tired, they'll say I'm being dramatic and that I'm still young and that i don't even do anything around the house, i shouldn't be tired of doing nothing, they don't understand that I'm depressed, mwhen they found out about it, they just sent me abroad for therapy, when i needed the most was their comfort, they sent me away so theh wouldn't deal with me, when i got back, they were fighting, my brothers just scrolling through their phone, acting like they weren't even there, and they never greeted me when i came back, just scolded me for being born and why i couldn't be like my uncle's daughter, how can i tell them that i lost faith in life, i lost my motivation, i don't wanna wake up, i don't want to live anymore if this is the life i have, i always wish that i have anither family who love their family equally and doesn't torture their children mentally and physically.
I thought I was the only one who felt the same way,I mean sorta of,like begin the only girl in the family thought that I always clean and you're the oldest one even thought you have a older brother who don't anything in this house,when you sit quitely,they found a problem and you shouldn't rest because you're some robot to clean without having a feeling,always got compared by you're cousin however,is hypocrite,not a innocent one,don't give a damn about other people and not showing any interest in her friends because she feeling like she someone important?...I was someone who always talking back,like a disrespect one,the misunderstading one,however when you change,They will always make you remember you're past self and the mistake you made,you're trauma...I'm sick,tired,I want to end up my life,But It feel I can't,Why?Oh..It's because you're muslim,It's forbbiden to think like that or end you're life otherwise,you're going to hell...And I can't change my religion...Why?Oh..It's because you will be and always be a dispointed...
Thank for taking you're time to read
Dropped out, broke up, and messed up my thigh. Yippee
yay!
Dang, sorry :(
Hope you’re doing a bit better now
Yall. Why can’t my mom love me when I self harm too? She’ll ignore them. Point them out but not do anything. I want help. Professional help. But I don’t have the time. And asking myself is not what I want. I want people to know I need help too.
Sometimes you need to do that shit yourself and maybe straight up tell your parent to get you help💗luv you please get professional help if you need it
Atleast you have a mom. But same thing with my dad
@XconVr YOure not helping him/her man
@@yoongislove437 acctually i am helping to an extent. im letting them know they arent alone
@@yoongislove437 and atleast people are helping them
I remember my mother was having a talk to me about su!c!d3 saying people my age are starting to commit it and she told me if I tried to do it she would Litterally kill me and I remember thinking if I try to do it why would you do that? Cause that would make me want to die even more and now being older I realize how toxic my family was to me. My dads side doesn’t really care about me and favors my sister, and once I came out as a pansexual every time they saw a rainbow they would say “oh hey look it’s --“ I don’t want to expose my name just so you guys know so that’s why I put the tags.
To whoever reads this,
i love you
i love your smile
i love your laugh
i love your personality
i love your hair (or lack thereof)
i love your insecurities
i love your accomplishments
i love your failures
i love your eyes
i love your beauty
i love your handwriting (or the way you communicate)
i love the way you dance
i love you on your happy days
i love you on your sad days
i love you on the days you feel lonely
i love you on the days you feel helpless
i love you on the days you feel like no one cares
i love you on the days you feel forgotten
i love you on the days you feel unmotivated
i love you on the days you feel loved
i love you on the days you feel sick
i love you on the days you feel motivated
i love you on the days you feel depressed
i love you on the days you feel stressed
i love you on the days you feel crazy
i love you on the days you feel worthless
I LOVE YOUUUUU
😍😍😍😍😍😍
This really resonates with me. Although home conditions havent changed much for me, my point of view on them has changed significantly. I can’t see “home” the same anymore. Growing up in a place with an abusive father, and being manipulated by him on numerous occasions to overwhelm myself mentally before I was even in the double digits. He broke me into the person I am now, a forced perfectionist, afraid to talk to people and vent frustrations, and even simply being in the same room as him. I hardly even leave my own room now, all because I am too afraid to face my own scars that have yet to heal. As much as I go out to a select few people about it, they don’t understand, and I just feel tosses aside and neglected. America hasn’t been really good for me either especially with trump and all (I’m trans). I really don’t know what to do anymore. Old plans leading to nothing, and wounds that wont heal. Maybe I’ll grow the guts to go through and be free from my own purgatory.
I hope you know that although it’s bad now, that time will change. The bad is what makes us or breaks us. I understand how your perception of home has changed. Especially with the impact your father has had on you. I want you to know (This may be cliche), but you’re never alone. There are people who are going through the exact same things. I would recommend finding things in life that are joyous. Beautiful. Like how the bird sing in the morning. Or, how the fact you’re even here right now. I know you might not be religious, but I want you to know that the fact you are an alive is a sign God has a plan for you. You, I, everyone, could die anytime at any moment. So, I want you to know that you matter. And, I’m glad you are alive. Other than all that paragraph, I love you. And, I’m truly grateful you have fought through all this
@@Ronni74 This just means so much to me. Even though this is all things I’ve heard plenty of times before, it always seemed so…in-genuine, and spontaneous. But really, thank you. Reading this has genuinely moved me to tears, and really, I cannot tell you how thankful I am to be able to see that, as small as it is.
OMG every song lol expect a few but I'm that "I'll listen to anything" person
Whaaat??
u wanna know something?... i hate it and i mean fucking HATE it when parents yell at there own kids because they did something wrong its like why do that kids make mistakes its part of life i mean it makes the kids feel worthless...and thats how my childhood was and the funny thing is i'm still a kid its just feels like i ain't a kid no more its comfort ur kids or other people wil...i'll gladly comfort anyone i don't care what they did i would just comfort them as long as they need
thanks that really helped i cried while reading this because i was thinking about ending my life....
I've felt like this for 3 years but thanks for this awesome playlist, my eyes were immediately drawn to the title
Yk it’s bad when I would rather be at school and not “home”..
I distinctly remember (I have a really bad memory and for me to remember details to anything is super rare) the moment my parents and siblings broke the news they were banning me from ever talking to my best friends, true support system, and partner again. I cried so much and only kept repeating "I want to go home" over and over and over even though I was in my house, in my room. And it hurts so much because it still hasn't been that long since that happened, and it hurts more knowing that I may be wasting my tears because my story isn't as bad as other peoples are.
Oh I have a very good memory unlike you but it just hurts me more I see people I used to know everyday, every week they look at me and it hurts when someone who hurt me mentally happy while I just smile to smile and I laugh to laugh
I wanna turn 14 until I can runaway for a month, but since im still young, I have to wait a while,but imma save this Playlist, till that day, wish me luck!
Good luck and stay safe if u can ml 🖤
as a person who doesnt know what love is, and thinks its a waste of space, since i already know all of these i relate to them, this playlist is just a bunch of my relations in a way. im a freak, and many other things as they call me, they dont understand how things are rough wherever i go and how the only peace i find is letting myself sink or float in some kind of water because the sound of it just calms me. Yea i know, your probably like "Ew why is this weirdo commenting venting and stuff thats so random like keep your sh!t private" and if you wanna make fun of me to boost your ego, then do as you please. i dont care anymore.
It's just a house at this point, Home has a real family. Why must I search for a home?
It's not your fault
Your not a problem
You are perfect
You aren't fat
You aren't skinny
You aren't the problem
You aren't a bad person
You are wonderful
You aren't a crybaby
Your don't deserve them
You love yourself
You are clean
You are kind
Your are the person that everyone wants
Your skin isn't a paper... don't cut it
Your face isn't a mask... don't hide it
Your heart isn't a door... don't lock it
Your size isn't a book... don't judge it
Your life isn't a movie... don't end it
Your neck isn't a rope... don't hang it
Your body isn't for sale... don't sell it
Your brain isn't a stone... don't crush it
Your life is an inspiration...be proud of it
Love yourself.. you are perfect no matter what you do.
The past of you suffering will end
Your suffering will end
Don't c^t your body your hair
Don't kill your self yet.
If you have a pet it will make your problem go away
They get mad at you for being soo perfect
They blame you because you are so pretty/handsome/stunning
You are brighting the world.. you are a true star
Keep going.. it will past.
We love you don't stop being kind to everyone
The kindness will speard and the kidness will also pay you back.
They love you they just don't wanna show the loveness for you
You are so perfect that everyone gets mad and jealous
Give everyone a second chance not too many tho
your eyes is perfect
your nose is perfect
your height is perfect
your skin is perfect
your mouth is perfect
your hair is perfect
your face is perfect
your body is perfect
your hands is perfect
your fingers is perfect
your teeth is perfect
your waist is perfect
Your torso is perfect
your legs are perfect
your thighs are perfect
your tounge and everything is perfect
YOU are perfect love your body and everything
You are so greatful for what you have.
Ignore the bad people you dont want them to get attached to you
And leave your fake friends
You deserve better.
Don't give up
Cheer up aswell Pretty/handsome/stunning person.
We are proud to see you alive.
We are so proud
We love your smile
We love your laugh
We love your personality
So don't give up
We love you.
We love you so much
Don't end it too fast.
Don't commit
Don't get controled
Don't make them control you like a puppet
Do your own way
Do everthing you like
Ignore the rude people
Ignore the hate
Ignore getting yelled
There's people by your side and always be.
We love you no matter what you do to yourself.
They don't know what your been through
They ain't been in your shoes
Don't belive them they are liars
Love youself.
We are proud of you existing here
We love you so much..
NEVER GIVE UP
You're precious
You made it this far.
And it's so amazing that you are still here
i was living in one house since i was born. i was living almost in poverty, without friends, i was inschool i hated. i moved with my family. now i realise that it wasnt that bad..
I recently moved because of divorce so the title really fits with me because home isn’t home anymore ❤
its currently 7:06 am i may have started this around 6:30 or something but this is for my girlfriend i dont think ill ever send this to her it feels so venerable for me and if this doesn't last i dont want her to know how much i feel for her.
I've known her for 8 months and have been dating her for 23 days
"Rori i love you and i'll tell you as much as you need to hear it i don't care if its two, three times i'll tell you just how much i love you. I love your hair your eyes your laugh your smile your sadness your depression i love your soul your personality i love the fact you dont fuck around i love how cute you can be how lovable you are and how some people just dont see the girl i see. It pains me the fact that you go through so much mental abuse i wish i could just take you away and damn you know i would if i could if it where up to me id hold you forever and never let you go and just shield ou from everything wrong with this fucking hell hole we call a world its not fair. It's not fair I'm here and you're not it's not fair I can't kiss you and tell you everything will be okay. It's not fair that you are hurting, it's not fair that your mother screams at you for just wanting a safe place to speak freely.
I hate that i can't tell you how beautiful you are and kiss the scars adorned on your skin i hate that i'm not there with you i hate myself for not being with you sooner and not finding you. I've never felt this way. It's so different and new it feels like my heart is burning it hurts. But I can't get enough. I can't get enough of you. I can't run away from you. I'll hold you until I can't bear the pain. I'll let your mother point a gun at me before I let her hurt you anymore she can try. I don't care what it takes i want to hold you i want this to be my last relationship with anyone i want you to be my forever i want you to hold me i want to hold you i want to kiss your lips i want to play with your hair i want to see your sweet smile and move hair from your eyes as we both cringe at it i want to watch movies with you and laugh at how stupid they are i want to share candy and do that cute intertwining with our arms and feed each other things i want to be with you i need to be with you i can't take this anymore it hurts i miss you.
I hadn't realized how much I needed you till you were gone. I need you to be strong for me i need you to be happy i need to see your smile i need to have you i need us i want us and i'll be a selfish child ill throw a tantrum without you i want to be able to walk up to people and say ‘this is my girlfriend’ i want to hold you and spin you in the air i want to cry in your arms as i see you i can't take this anymore it hurts. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to sit here and rot away in bed. I don't want to miss you anymore. I want to have you in my bed and watch stupid shit with you. I want to sleep on your chest and we both fall asleep.
I've never seen myself doing the things i want to do with you, with anyone else i don't think i want to imagine it i don't want a world without you i can't take it i cant handle not seeing you happy i want to take everything every problem every worry every tear every suicidal thought and turn it to ash with my kisses i want to see every stretch mark every scar every freckle on your skin and tell you how much i love them how much i love you i love your dorky self i love how cute you are when you’re excited i want to watch your eyes light up like a child on christmas day i want to set fireworks off in your heart everytime you look at yourself in the mirror i want to give you my gaze for just a moment so you can see how damn beautiful you are.
I drew you. Multiple times i want to continue to draw you i want to look back at my drawings and not stop and look at the wasted talent i've done on other people i want your art to feel like my brothers to feel like it's not going anywhere else to feel the reassurance that its not gonna eventually be hated by my mind i want you to feel loved to feel cherished and if i'm not the one giving that to you i'm either dead or barely alive because i don't want to let you go to let US go i don't want to be alone anymore Jellybean it hurts i cant handle it anymore i love you okay i want to be buried together to grow old together and watch the kids across the street play on our porch while we drink tea and eat croissants i want to watches sunrises sunsets with you i want to gaze at the moon and stars with you i want to grow a garden with you i want my mom and my father to look at you and see a daughter.
I want to take pictures with you and talk about how cringe it is. We take so much. I want to hold your hands. I want to kiss you in front of everybody. I can't believe how in love I am with you. I can't believe I haven't met you sooner.
Rori I said the prayer i asked god to make me not love you if you werent the one and here i am writing a stupid note for you to may never ever read. But i can’t not say this it feels to bottled up and yet i've written so much it doesn't feel enough words aren't enough nothing's enough a thousand words a thousand pictures a thousand flowers a thousand nights and days a thousand birds and clouds nothing feels enough to express the love i have inside for you
i stopped biting my nails i stopped having thoughts of self harm and self destruction with you i feel so warm and i can't stop smiling i want to have you forever i want us to have fights but to talk it out after we cool down i don’t want this to end i don’t want us to end i don’t want to love you the thought hurting me i'll wait forever if i have to i ll wait a thousand days a thousand months a thousand years i don’t care i want you i don't need anybody else im finally happy with were i am
i don't want to settle for less i dont want anything more because you're more than enough you feel like an overflowing glass of love and warmth and i don’t want to spill it i don't want to be without you i can't express how much i want to hold you and just hold your hand i need to be with you i feel like i can't take it anymore your voice isn't enough i need you i think about you and i smile i don't want to lose that i can't lose that if i do i feel like i'm gonna never be happy again.
I feel so stupid writing all of this down. Writing how much i love someone it feels like i'm bare and exposed in the light but i can't help it anymore i genuinely can't go without saying this i feel like sucha weights off my shoulders i feel like a fool for not really expressing it the way i really should i know that i'm not a good girlfriend or a friend for that matter i know i'm a little rough around the edges but i promise i have good intentions and i would never want to hurt you in any way the thought itself … The thought of hurting you or me hurting you. I don't know what I'd do with myself if I knew I hurt you and made you cry. I wouldn't know what to do if I were the one who made your mascara run and I would feel so awful.
Rori Elizabeth Sharkie i love you i love you so much it hurts i love you so much it's spilling from my eyes as tears some think im sad but no it's not that im sad its that i have so much pent up emotion for you i don't know how else to express
it i don't know what to do with this i don't know what to do with myself these words mean nothing to me this whole thing means nothing to me because words simply cant express the love i have for the word love isn't enough you make me feel like i cant breath but i can at the same time you feel like the cold wind as i'm about to pass out from heat i feel like i'm worth something with you i feel so numb when i'm alone even when my social battery is out i feel like i could just sit there on the phone with you in silence and we’d not even have to talk. Our gaze against each other is just enough to know the warms of your fingertips on my lips the feeling of your breath on my hands as you kiss them the thought of being that close to you makes me want to faint and go insane you make me insane in all the best ways
the love i want to leave adorned on your skin as you feel loved id tear everything apart for you if you asked me id walk the fires of hell and back for you i'd give my everything just to hear you say that you love me just as much as i love you i'd give anything to hear these words spoken, written, or even thought back to me i want to heal someone it's just the two of us and you can tell me everything and not be scared ill judge you i want to hear these words so bad that id get on my knees and beg id worship the ground you walked upon every breath every state every movement i'd give ANYTHING to make sure you're wrapped in a blanket of love just as long as you're happy as long as you give me this love back to me i'll be happy i don't need anything else from you i just need your love i've already given you my heart. Please PLEASE please please … Please never return it.
I tell my father about you i tell my mother and i can't stop talking my friends ears off with your name all they hear is Rori Rori Rori Rori Rori i just can't help it i love you so much it burns i want it to burn i need to know Rori … please do you love me the same do you feel all of this too do you want more do you feel everything too? Please i need to know. "
As a child I always felt so happy at home and school, I thought my life was great and it would continue but now nowhere feels home at times I look down on my balcony and think about ya know, later I got the feeling or hating myself or blaming myself for everything and nothing has gotten better for 2 years..
Just escaped that so called "home" but i dont even know what to with my life anymore if i should end it or keep trying to have a good one
Enjoy it the best you can and celebrate that you did something others couldn't. Good luck❤
The message......7:54
A little funny, but then reminded me that I hardly get any texts ever.
🙃
Two years ago, I took my first step in battling depression. I went to an educational camp and found that I had never felt like I was home before. I was lucky, that jolt of realization that something was going wrong allowed me to get six months closer to the surface of this damn depression swamp.
This spring I almost decided that this year I would give up the activities that brought me to this camp to study for exams. if I had admired one of my teachers a little less, I would have missed the announcement of her poetry collection and maybe, without the hope of feeling at home again, I would have gradually returned to depression. maybe I wouldn't have lived to see the end of this summer.
I keep fighting and hoping for the best, but i still think that something is wrong(maybe with me) because i dont felt like i was home most of my life
the notification sounds scared the shit out of me every time
Yeah I fr thought someone cared to text first
gonna listen to this until i move out
XD!!!
The way i start to cry when i hear this songs is really weird man (maybe its nostalgic because in 2022 i listened 2 them with my friends and now they're all gone)JDJBFKFBDJ WAHDKGNG
KARKAT PROFILE PICTIR E FTHDFJHXSZSCCBFGGUGDW also im sorry about that i hope u feel better
im abt to be free though ive been saving up and now have enough to run away and live comfortably until i get a new job! im so excited to be free from this shit show
That’s so amazing! I hope it goes well for you (I’ve been thinking about running away but i might get into a lot of trouble sense I’m under 16
@@Asher.OnP4ws im also under sixteen im also under sixteen but where i live you can get a job at 14, and ty!
@@Asher.OnP4ws Me to, we should all run away together lol (kinda joking not about running away about getting together)
@@Lenix-n5zwhere abt do u live not in a creepy why tho ❤❤❤
@@Lenix-n5z any advice for running away cause I asked a couple people and all they said is I would have to sell myself
I love my family, I do. But with my mom constantly making problems out of everything and yelling about everything, I just don't want to come home anymore.
I know that feeling, so I ran away, but I was young and had a fear of something’s, so I went home after a few hours
That's exactly how I feel with my parents. I love them, because I can't help it, but we have our very frequent moments. I'd run away but I'm scared ill get caught and it'll just be worse. I hope it gets better
Same I love my mom but her anger is so much that I can’t do it At all any more I just am almost numb and she hates that too she beat me with an extension cord I can’t even remember why she did it
Alright. vent time. TW: Self harm and trauma.
So first. i had a bit of a trauma experience. a old 'friend' who hit and kicked me. telling me: BE MY FRIEND OR ELSE!
I Have problem with self harming.Its funny how random people are more comforting then my own friends/family/girlfriend.
To be honest every comment makes me cry. i feel weak. everyone says im weak and fat. i haven't eaten in a day. i'm hungry but not t the same time. i think i might have ADHD. i have struggles with: Concentrating. Organizing and i have a huge lack of motivation. i used to love art. now i'm just sick of it.. can anyone please help?...
Can't relate to your story but I also have trauma and do SH. And honestly same. People on the internet are more comforting then anyone i know
A few months ago I was dating this girl and we had been dating for about 5 months when we broke up, I didn’t realize it until we broke up that I was being mentally abused and manipulated. She sat at our table after the fact and ate dinner with us. In short I was forced to share a meal, a table and a room with the person who drove me to the brink of suicide. And all along I thought that I was the problem.
Let's play list is really relatable, but at the same time for me, home is never felt like home. School was. I'm thinking about posting my story in stuff on Reddit and if I ever do, I'll probably update this comment if I remember. Stay safe, If you have bad parents, also don't let them control you. You can do this💙
take me out of this shit please. i can’t do this anymore. i’m broken.
Please stay safe keep your broken pieces to fix someday
@@ko_hoshi Put yourself together again the way you like to. You are the only one who know how. Wishing you strength for the journey. Don’t worry about what others think. You must be happy with you. That’s all that matters.❤️🩹
We have decided to move because of all of the trauma that has gone on inside my house, now that my dads gone we decided to try to start over. We won’t forget our memories with him, but just being here hurts.
Listening to this till i move out cuz there's no reason i should feel more relaxed with my friends then my mom and younger brothers..and freefall (iykyk) isn't an option since my older siblings shouldn't have a dead little sister......
Hi! I don't want to bother you or something, but I saw your comment and I wanted you to know that you're not alone in this. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you, okay?
"mum and daddy aren't in love" is so real
Kinley I love you so much. I love your smile. I love your eyes. I love your hair. I love you for who you are. I love your personality. I love how funny you are. I love how you make me happy. Every time I see you I feel so happy. I feel safer with you. I love you kinley. I love you so much. I wish I lived with you. I wish we had a apartment to gather. I love you kinley so much. I love you honey.
I don't know anymore. been venting and knowing no one cares. And if they do, they only care because it's cruel if they don't :)
Don't worry me too
It's crazy that I gradually start to like being at school more than I like being at my own house.
TW I wanna go home when I’m at school I hate fucking school. I’m so fucking stupid I get bad grades when I actually try. When I’m at home I wanna go to school. I can’t have a fucking conversation with anyone without being shouted at, my mum and dad obviously don’t love each other. And my mum calls me anything and doesn’t apologies. I’m not living in just existing I used to have so much fun at school I used to be loud and giggly but now I’m literally just existing. I listen to all my friends vent over the phone when I’ve literally not ate in days and have just had a failed attempt.
Listen to me very clearly. Your best will look different every day. Ignore anything bad your mom says about you, you know who and what you are. You will live one day. That day is not today, so your best shot is to wait till you reach it. Focus on YOURSELF. No one but you matters at this point. Grab a little bite of food, I don't care if it's just a single bite, I just want you to eat. Try having a conversation, i know this might seem blunt but hear me out. A conversation can be any small sentence you negotiate with someone; whether it's ordering food or just saying hello. Don't feel embarrased when your talking, good chance they'll forget or you won't see them for a while. Whenever you feel like attempting, shake it off. The second that thought hits, try to forget it and distract yourself. find a hobby, doesnt matter what it is. Don't do drugs or alchohol, cause that'll screw you up even more. The second you turn 18 youll have your freedom, but you still have to work for it. There's always gonna be a " what if" in the back of your mind, just remember that.
@ THATS SO SWEET THATS LIKE ONE OF THE NICEST THINGS THAT SOMEONES SAID TO ME 🫶
Any music playlist that has to do with family issues or your house no longer feeling like a home is just perfect in my opinion. The reason it's perfect is because I relate to it so much. The house that I lived in when I was a little kid stopped feeling like home because my parents got divorced and we had to move. Then we moved in with my grandparents and that house was great. After a few years of living with my grandparents, my mom got us a house and it felt like home but then we moved because she got remarried. Once she got remarried and we were in a house it felt like home. But the moment I was grieving the death of my grandpa who was my best friend, Grandpa and Father figure all rolled into one that's when my house started to not feel like a home. From October 2020 to now my house is no longer a home. My stepdad has emotionally and verbally abused me more times than I can count. It's a good thing my mom is getting divorced and we're moving because I want to be in a house where I'm not being abused and it's loving, happy, and actually feels like a home.
I just found this and its amazing!
It’s kinda sad…i was used to be abused my father always had hurt me and my mother years ago my mother and father had a divorce now. Live at my mothers but I’ve got a step dad now but he was a millitaire just like my father so.. im always scared of him but I don’t show it… never bully someone if you don’t know they’re story!
Damn I'm 15 minutes clean now
REAL
Why can't my mommy love me..? Why am I always the problem? Am I the problem..? Am I really that useless and ungreatful..? Am I really that bad of a person.? I'm trying, I don't know if I can anymore. I don't even know if ill.make it past 18... I'm trying hard to be a better person and daughter and sister but it's dotn working. I'm trying so hard, mommy please listen to me, please love me. Mommy please love me like you did before.. I just want to be loved by you..
you..your just like me..., i wish my mommy could love me too, friend..i am here for you , who is just like you , and understands you, i am you 🙂
@@beannlove I'm glad I'm no the only one with mommy issues I'm also here for you if you wanna vent at all🫶
@@Olivia22funny thanks friend
You my friend... Have just gained another subscriber, I relate so much to this playlist
Why is it that I feel so sad for no reason? I have it going all good. A family. Friends. A pet. A place to sleep. I don’t get it. I mean my mom would tell me I fit around and do nothing or that I need to do better but she still loves me and my dad is the best. My siblings is a hand full at times but I love them. I have literally everything I could ever want. Yet I lay here I my bed not wanting to do anything. I have no reason to feel the way I feel. Yet I feel so exhausted and empty even if I don’t really do anything. I don’t know anymore.
I love my family, yet don't trust them like I should. My two separate families, my mom's and my dad's. I want to forgive my father, for the pain he's caused, for the childhood I've missed, the mistake I've made because of him, the things I've never learned from him... I want to trust my mom, for the love she's shown, for the care she's given, for the strength she has, for the her endurance and perseverance. But I can't. Something stops me, chains me from feeling forgiveness, from trust.
I feel lost, I feel hopeless, yet know that either I carry on, fight through it, push against the struggles, and live through my problems. Or I can give up and let those I care about and love and lift up, down. I choose to fight.
And so will you. It's not worth letting go, it's not worth giving up. You will work to be better, and if you can't do it alone, then I will help you. I will pull you to your feet, hold you steady, push you forward. We will get through this together. I love you all.
Why cant everything go back to normal, before this all happened?
This hit hard
I don't know man... At least we have each other now to relate to
@@lily-he1kt Yeah... Fair point.
Yeah.. I ask that every day and no one has an answer, but, I think it could if we tried :)
I just want to go home, but home doesn't even feel like home anymore. You ruined it
-Octavia
Crying on the floor like i am rn hits different,i've recently moved and back in 2019 (at my old house on new years) it stopped feeling like home,i keep on thinking we are on holiday and i said:"i want to go home" then realised i am home.
This hits a spft spot, because I honesty dont know where homw is anymore, i used to live with my mom and dad, then my dad left, so i lived with my mom for 2 or 3 years then my dad got custody of me and we moved to west Virginia where we stayed with my grandma then we got a home, and every week i go to my friends and my grandmas and i berly see my dad and when i do see him if he is in a bad mood he yells at me or his family, like as I was typeing this i was joking around with him and i didnt know he was stressed so u kinda got yelled at for it. It suck how i dread going how and school the only places i am ok with going it my friends or grandmas.
I SEE YOU HAVE A FOUR PFP (also good playlist)
theres actually so many therians here, including myself-
Fr
Y’know I never thought I would relate to these playlists.
i feel like i'm the error,not my family. my dad is an alcoholic and clearly doesn't love my mom, but they can't divorce since we're 4 childs. Mom is losing hope for my dad to going back to a normal father. My dad doesn't even wants my mom to wear long skirts,he's possessive and jealous. We have problems w money too,my mom is becoming worser. my grandpa lives w us too,and he treats us like we're his slaves. at least i have my siblings and pets...am i the error? whoever reads this,answer please.
you’re not an error, you were just born into the wrong reality. take care of yourself, i know you have beautiful heart.
How the hell you came to conclusion that you were the error?
NO you are NOT an error in any way!! Don't think that about yourself *hug* 🤗
Please don’t say you’re the error, I am similar and I know for a FACT you’re not the error.. 🫶🏻
You hit right on the nail so much it hurts good job🤗
i genuinely fall asleep to this playlist daily
oh and btw the playlist is very nice i will listen to it often for sure ^^
i need to stop clicking on this video but these songs, AGH
home was never home....just a place
when it said home dosent feel like home anymore i thought of octavia from helluva boss:^
This hits waaaayyyy to hard….i left home a few days ago and don’t know if I’ll ever have to go back or not. All the good memories got corrupted. It fucking sucks when your told that your parents are goanna be the ones there for you and then their not.
i recently herd a saying "people are like clouds, life's so much brighter once they leave" but what am i supposed to do now that my Sun has left? they said they're going to paint the sky pretty for me in their final moments, how is anything supposed to look pretty without them? its all my fault
i wanna go home.
Me too
I grew up my whole life with my grandma, at her house, because my mom was too busy to care for me. My mom manipulated me into thinking my grandmother was the bad one, i moved in with my mom this year and i regret it so badly. I hate how she treats me like a maid and favorites my sister. It hurts alot, if you know you will mistreat your kids, dont have any. Because its not worth putting a child through that crap
Not me (me) trying to suffocate myself but I just can't for my best friend she is the only one keeping me alive 😕 and no one knows about me almost crying every night and trying to die but i think I'm just sadness part of life rn so love you super star! ⭐️
I love my parents I really do… but sum times they say things to me that break my heart more and more. When I was in soccer (the year was 2022) they kept telling me I need to do this and this was every soccer game so I started to think I wasn’t good a nuff, I was also get bullied at this time being called fat, stupid, etc. The one day I cut my hair a little above my shoulders to donate it and when I went to school I got called an ugly rag. These comments hurt me so bad I would cry every night. I am doing better now but am still working through it, so my friends feel more like home that my home does.
Everyone around me acts like because my mom is nice now that I'm ok when I'm still struggling from everything I've been through because they won't stop replaying in my mind and it sucks.
I’ve just started exercising more ever since 2019 when my favourite brother passed. I have gained so much weight since then it hit me so hard I hated my life feeling like shits going downhill like I felt like I couldn’t go forward bc I felt like people hated me for being me so I started acting like them and they asked why I am so annoying like shit man I needed new friends but I live in such a small town fk man I want to live my life like I have to move on for a reason but time I feel like o don’t belong here and I feel like I can’t do it anymore so I started to exercise to hurt myself more it’s like a benefit except I don’t have to hurt my skin lol fk I’m dumb but I’m in grade ten idk if I could make it to grade twelve it’s just all waying me down
omg, so many fellow therians! But also, home isnt homing anymore,,,
ALTERHUMANS FOREVER 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
For me, I grew up in Houston with my parents and my sister, and about three years ago my parents decided to split ways, my dad moving into an apartment not too far from my house. My parents soon divorced, and my relationship with my mom grew weak and brittle. We always fought. My mom dated a lot, my dad dated as well, (he got engaged then just flat out bailed on it) and then my mom found a guy that was in his mid 50s. I was forced to leave everything I ever known to live in a small town called Alvin. Away from my dad, my grandparents, my friends. My mom ruined everything for me and I’m not going to accept it.
i had to listen to this bc after my kitten who had died from kidney failure my family decided to remake the house and stuff and i went to my room crying bc i felt like we removing everything that had all the good memories and i miss it i wish i had it back and soon am starting school soon and i dont wanna go bc all the teachers think am lying when am not and i had to be with girl that kept making be her friend lets call a bc i dont wanna use her real name so A would make stuff abt me and last year i had no friends from lie that i had lice and bed bugs and fleas when i didnt and one day i had to be with on a group project and she kept making me do all the work and i did and she kept begging me to be her friend and i did bc she wouldnt stop and one day i had to go the bathroom and went i got back I GOT IN TROUBLE FOR NO REASON FROM HER bc she said i was being a bad friend and she kept making my life worse and i almost decided to yk kill myself from her and she bullying me when my cat died so ye i still have to be her friend my mom doesnt do anything abt it or my teachers and i still think about killing myself but i dont wanna
That girl is a piece of sh*t I'm so srry you had to go through that :(
@@FakeProtag_______ARFTSAL its ok
I always thought home was a house. I always thought that home was a place, not a feeling. I never realized how much I missed out on when I finally found "home". I found what I thought was home, but it really wasn't. It was more like.. a model home. It looks great and comfortable, but it just.. doesn't feel right. I don't know if I'll ever find a true home, but I will definitely try. For now, though, I have to take care of myself. And to whoever reads this, you should, too. I hope you find your home. Good luck, and tell me how it goes?
Thank you. I've recently found actually decent friends after 15 years of living💗 good luck on your journey my dear
@@lily-he1kt Thank you! And good job on finding yours. I wish you the best of luck
To the people wo want to commit, dont.. i say things like that sometimes but remember that theres things to do more than give up, you may hate the things thats going on right now but its okay.. believe yourself.. have a good day/night :3
after my dad left, i don't feel like myself anymore. (I was a daddy's girl until now.)
the message noise was cruelll I thought my bf messaged me back 😭😭
I feel trapped, I'm not abused or anything. I just dont do anything all day.. It is killing me and I hate it so much.
I don’t wanna be at home anymore. Sure, my parents cared for me all my life but. My dad’s never home, and if he is all he does or care about is drinking. He never pays me any attention but if he does, it’s to tell me I’m fat or to yell at me. My mum is at home more often but we don’t talk. If we do, she yells at me for being a lazy fuck, my sister ignores me. My brothers all moved out except one but he’s in the military and I see him once a year. Home doesn’t feel like home anymore, I want my mum to know how I really feel. But I’m scared she’ll make fun of me for it or tell me I’m overreacting. I’m even more scared of she tells my dad, he doesn’t believe in mentall illnesses.
Hey, I know your comment is already 2 months old, but if you want to vent I can give you some of my social networks, I have Instagram, Twitter, and Discord
I'm only 16 but I honestly don't know what I'm doing with my life, I stopped going to school and I'm too scared to go back cuz I'm gonna get held back, I do nothing but smoke weed and lay down listening to music, my stepmom does drugs and is paranoid about everything, I've been socially isolating myself and my social anxiety is getting worse, I feel stuck, I haven't vented to anyone in a few years and nothing is helping me escape reality anymore. I don't see any other way out.
especially after i told my parents that i was a therian... now i dont want to be anywhere because they told everyone.
I had a plan to run away already set, but they were destroyed when I busted up my knee, I already had a dangerous infection in that leg that almost took it, and if I get another infection I probably will. I just want to be free yet no matter how close I get, something throws me back to the start. I forgot my skateboard at my dad's and I probably won't get it till next year unless he decides I'm worth visiting and brings it to me which probably won't happen. I'm probably not even going to bring it, I just can't stay here anymore. It's not like I'm abused, well not physically anymore, but I'm not even allowed to go outside without an adult. It's a prison.
hi, I’m a runaway, I ran away from home because I was abused physically and mentally. I don’t recommend running away, but if you do make sure to collect a lot of money, pack some food, pack some clothes, shoes, and whatever else you want, make sure not to go to places that are popular or you’re family usually goes to, you can also see if you can stay at a friends house for a little, if you have long hair and don’t want to be recognized then I suggest you cut it
I'll run away with you. Me and my friend are leaving soon.
i’m grateful that i’m in college now. i have an out now which is great, but yeah, it’s hard.