I get Debbie asking if it’s possible or just like letting the neighbors know that her kid can’t have whatever it is they can’t have, but demanding is too far. It’s good to let the neighbors know because sometimes people do actually want to help make sure the child with the disability has a good Halloween with things they can enjoy, but it shouldn’t be expected.
@@babidiva8050 so she doesn’t have the right to say : hey, my kid can’t have the treats you hand out, would you coincided expanding your selection to include him? No pressure, just wanted to let you know? I think if it was approached like that, it’s fine. It’s not hurting anyone to ask. I think in this situation, if the neighbors don’t want to provide an alternative the mom could do one of two things: 1) just have her kid collect whatever and then trade them at home or 2) give the neighbor a treat to give her child when they come to the door. That way the kid can participate and get something they can have. I think it’s wrong to demand, but I don’t think it’s wrong to ask. You get no where in life without asking. I can tell you if I knew a kid couldn’t have something, I would go out and get something they could. My sister grew up with a dairy allergy and I nannied kids with peanut allergies and holidays like Halloween can be hard when the kids feel excluded.
The only time I would be accommodating to a neighbor as if you know for sure your immediate neighbors kids is allergic to something like peanuts I would make sure that I had something for one specific kid that lives next door if he were deathly allergic to something. But if the kid doesn't like chips he doesn't have to take them. What's the big deal not everybody has something you're going to be excited for he's just a picky eater and needs to deal with it.
It is not that easy there is an common eating disorder, where you can't eat the most items, so you can't just choose to eat it, but only the idea give you panic. Picky eating is something that should be taken serious. I don't say that you have to give them something, bit to say that they are just picky eater and sho6ld cope with it, is just not right.
We had an identical situation, with demands. So our Debbie made to provide special for her son and we would hand out to Brad. Other families found out and a few joined us to stop the extortion.
Imagine going to someone's house, while they're giving out free food, then demanding they provide you a different free food because you think your kid should have the world revolve around them.
I had parents who did that to me. Expected every one to stop until something was made that their picky kid liked. I told them that I don't make special meals for picky kids. They were extremely angry with me for not catering to their child while I was feeding forty other people, also. That was when he was six. Last I heard he was graduated from HS with no friends because no one could stand the spoiled boy. I saw him a few times and he always acted like he was God's gift to the world. So sad. His parents did it to him.
I have 4 different things for kids, I have bouncy balls for autistic kids, soft candy for little ones, non pb chocolate for allergies and other chocolate and candy for the older kids, I don't have kids so I like to have fun with it and make everyone feel special. I'm not judging you I just know what fills my well🤗
You are right on! This woman is going to make 5th things really hard on her child. Starting out in life expecting people to cater to you is going to be a long painfu lrocky road! Please give out the chips, the other UNentitled kids probably love the variety!
My family does one thing for accommodation: we buy both chocolates and gummies/hard candies The gummies/hard candies are great for kids with nut/dairy allergies!
I always gave out drink "n" boxes, chips or a small bar. The kids loved the drinks they would open right there, they must of been thirsty from walking around. Chips are good for kids they love them too, Don't worry about what the neighbors say.
You know what he can do if he doesn't like/can't eat chips? TRADE THEM FOR SOMETHING HE CAN EAT!! Trading candy was always the best part of Halloween! It happened a LOT at school! (I remember being known as the only kid in my class who enjoyed raisins, so i would often straight up be GIVEN them during candy trades!) and guess what? No one complained! I remember a bunch of kids offering snickers and reese cups because they couldn't have peanuts for "low value" stuff (like regular suckers) note: I wasn't a popular kid. In fact most of these kids bullied me most of the time, but candy trades were always positive interactions! Btw: my favourite trick or treat house was an old couple who passed out FULL CANS OF POP AND HOMEMADE COOKIES AND CANDY APPLES!! Every kid got a can of pop, a little baggy of cookies and a candy apple. Because they lived in an area without many kids, my family often got leftovers lol
I’d actually be super excited to get chips on Halloween! I’m a huge fan of sweet + salty food combinations, so I’d love to have a salty snack to eat either before or after I eat something sweet 😋 Besides, kids get more than enough candy on Halloween, especially if they live in a large neighborhood. A SINGLE non-sweet snack in your child’s bag (that’ll be filled with mountains of candy by at the end of the night anyways) isn’t an issue.
@@dekrus The neighborhood I grew up in (very large) had this couple who always gave out little bags of pretzels shaped like Halloween related things like ghosts, pumpkins, etc. Even though I was never that excited about them (since most kids go crazy over sweets) I’d eat them and enjoy them every single year.
Unless he can't eat it. And we don't know what this neighbor was asking of OP. She could have been asking him to add a few bags of a different type of chip that's the exact same price as the rest because her son will go into anaphylactic shock if he accidentally opens a bag of the type OP is handing out. She could've been asking for something very simple, and OP could be an asshole.
@@R.P-e2z Okay, and? As a parent, it’s YOUR responsibility to prevent your child from getting anything they’re allergic to. OP says that he already has a lot of chip options to pick from, and it’s not “simple” to ask your neighbor to go out of their way just to accommodate your incompetence as a parent. The kid’s potential allergies are NOT, nor will they EVER be, OP’s responsibility. The real world isn’t going to cater to your child’s every whim, so tough luck if they can’t be included in something. That’s the way the world works, get over it.
@@gothcsm How is picking up a Hershey's bar from the checkout lane as you're buying your other groceries "going out of your way"? Do you and/or OP shop at a store that doesn't sell candy? And she's not asking him to take responsibility for the kid's allergies, for God's sake-she's asking him to buy one small thing the kid can have! Jesus CHRIST, people ask you to do ONE small thing outside your routine and you act like they asked you to drain your savings for them!
Its parents like Debbie that makes entitled children that grow up to be entitled adults that no one wants to be around. Bad Debbie, bad, the world doesn't revolve around your child and its disability.
Debbie nees to get a life. If he didn't like the type of candy he got, would the neighbors all buy a different type of candy? Not. So let the kid trade them in with a different kid for candy. Debbie is full of it.
As a picky eater; I would dump my candy out when I got home and separate it for my parents. My mom would typically go through it with me so I would take out what I liked and wanted, and then we’d make individual piles for everyone else.
My son is autistic and will only eat certain kinds of candy. He goes trick or treating, to parades, and other events where they give out free candy. He takes the candy, i pick out what he can eat and five away, ir eat the rest. I buy candy i know he will like and use that to supplement the candy from the event.
Where I grew up.There was an old couple who gave out full size Chocolate bars for Halloween. One lady got upset because they weren't peanut to safe. She made a huge stink about at and it's old couple. Stop giving out candy altogether. They let everyone know why. That lady had to leave town because of the hate She got as a result
Kid can't eat chips for some reason. Not a reason to complain, but it's not like they just don't like it and having a fuss, more like diabetic with candies or something
Halloween is losing its appeal when we have to set up for taking special orders from freeloading kids and their parents. Just turn off the lights and enjoy a good movie.
I bring plain chocolate to my family events so everyone can enjoy it. My nephew is allergic to nuts and some people are gluten free, so I want there to be at least one snack that they know they can have. Unfortunately, not everyone cares about things like that. People really don't like changing anything to accommodate for anyone else if it means they have to go out of their way. To each their own, I suppose.
That's what I do. My son is autistic, so I always take backup food to picnics, and buy candy for him on Halloween. He loves trick or treating, but only eats a few kinds of candy. He eats what he can and gets fruit flavored Tootsie rolls to replace what he doesn't like.
I bet it isn't that Debbie's kid can't have the chips, it's that they aren't something SHE wants to eat! Bet the kid doesn't get many of his trick-or-treat goodies cause she eats them instead. Give him a small box of crayons instead!
What did Debbie want him to do? Did she want him to hand out gluten-free organic free-range vegan tahini chips that cost $30 a bag, or did she want him to mix in a few mini bags of Kettle Chips and let her son choose from those? The nature of what she's asking will tell me whether OP is TA or not.
@@BASIC8584 Then buy a chocolate bar and give that to the kid. I do not see why everyone thinks OP is in the right here for refusing such an easy accommodation.
@@BASIC8584 You know, the more I think about OP's reaction and the reactions of those who side with him, the more I think OP (and his supporters, by extension) is a narcissist. He's refusing this accommodation because he interprets the mother's request as an insult to his tradition. The outsized anger toward her, and the way you and others disparage a disabled child, makes me think that it comes from a wounded ego. Picking up a single candy bar wouldn't be any trouble at all, but acknowledging that his tradition doesn't work for everyone means acknowledging that he was (slightly and unintentionally) wrong. A narcissist cannot handle this. Thank you for helping me understand.
This time just don't and then they will be mad when you don't you say I adjusted so everything is fair and I will now tell everyone the reason I didn't is because you bothered me about it not being fair so I made it fair by not doing it at all
Ummm.... is it not normal to get chips on Halloween in the usa? Like chips are probably 50% of what you get in canada. Chocolate another big bit of it candy is probably the lest thing you get (i get that Chocolate is considerd candy)
Candy is about 99% of what American kids get, only recently have people been looking at other things like toys, cookies, occasional fruit and toothbrushes. When I last trick or treated, about early 2000's, all I got was candy, chocolate and stickers. Having helped friends kids go out, they got the same with some granola and cheap little toys tossed in
don't the kid got friends to trade with? or maybe the kid can trade to chips to their parents for candy. thats what I did when the kids got stuff they didn't like I would trade.
My opion why the hell are you complying it’s free he’ll if your kid don’t want it u can have it also I’m sure he gets plenty of candy my Halloween carndy will last for weeks to months
Wait, it’s offering other options a problem? I mean, if she had her kid, can’t eat it then that’s fine and if she’s asking for you to completely change the options just so her kid can eat the same thing as everybody else that’s a bit much but an option that the kid can eat wouldn’t be bad, right? It wouldn’t be that hard to buy like a pack of pre-cut apples or whatever he can eat and it would add another choice for the other children as well, right? What I’m saying is this is an actual disability. Much like an allergy, it’s actually kind of reasonable if somebody politely ask you to accommodate it. This isn’t just like a preference… Which can be accommodated but honestly doesn’t have to be because you’re actively choosing not to eat. It is not like you can’t. Like… If he can’t eat it then it would be nice to accommodate for it and if it’s a preference… Eat it or don’t.
Fr! Unless it’s something expensive or unreasonable it shouldn’t be an issue and we don’t know if the mother actually “demanded special treatment” for her child or just asked and given how clearly biased op is, why wouldn’t they take it that way
@@jeancorcoran6017 fr! this stuff pisses me off. It's not like she's saying that he needs to stop handing out stuff that her kid can't have, she just asked if her kid can also be included. Idk if that man just hates disabled children or something, but he sounds like a piece of work.
don’t let that lady ruin it for the rest of the neighborhood. keep handing them out !
Tbh, if anything that lady is just gonna make his kid get left alone and bullied
Part of trick or treating is trading what you get with your friends after. He can aways trade his chips for more candy, or skip that house entirely
Right, I remember picking things I didn't like because I knew one of my buddies would want to trade at the end of the night.
Nta, don't complain about the free snacks you get on Halloween otherwise you just don't deserve them
I’m allergic to eggs and peanuts; my parents don’t go around asking the neighbors not to hand out Reese’s and Snickers bars.
I get Debbie asking if it’s possible or just like letting the neighbors know that her kid can’t have whatever it is they can’t have, but demanding is too far. It’s good to let the neighbors know because sometimes people do actually want to help make sure the child with the disability has a good Halloween with things they can enjoy, but it shouldn’t be expected.
Doesn't have the right to even ask. She can just skip their house.
@@babidiva8050 so she doesn’t have the right to say : hey, my kid can’t have the treats you hand out, would you coincided expanding your selection to include him? No pressure, just wanted to let you know? I think if it was approached like that, it’s fine. It’s not hurting anyone to ask.
I think in this situation, if the neighbors don’t want to provide an alternative the mom could do one of two things: 1) just have her kid collect whatever and then trade them at home or 2) give the neighbor a treat to give her child when they come to the door. That way the kid can participate and get something they can have. I think it’s wrong to demand, but I don’t think it’s wrong to ask. You get no where in life without asking. I can tell you if I knew a kid couldn’t have something, I would go out and get something they could. My sister grew up with a dairy allergy and I nannied kids with peanut allergies and holidays like Halloween can be hard when the kids feel excluded.
The only time I would be accommodating to a neighbor as if you know for sure your immediate neighbors kids is allergic to something like peanuts I would make sure that I had something for one specific kid that lives next door if he were deathly allergic to something. But if the kid doesn't like chips he doesn't have to take them. What's the big deal not everybody has something you're going to be excited for he's just a picky eater and needs to deal with it.
It is not that easy there is an common eating disorder, where you can't eat the most items, so you can't just choose to eat it, but only the idea give you panic. Picky eating is something that should be taken serious. I don't say that you have to give them something, bit to say that they are just picky eater and sho6ld cope with it, is just not right.
We had an identical situation, with demands. So our Debbie made to provide special for her son and we would hand out to Brad. Other families found out and a few joined us to stop the extortion.
Imagine going to someone's house, while they're giving out free food, then demanding they provide you a different free food because you think your kid should have the world revolve around them.
I had parents who did that to me. Expected every one to stop until something was made that their picky kid liked. I told them that I don't make special meals for picky kids. They were extremely angry with me for not catering to their child while I was feeding forty other people, also. That was when he was six. Last I heard he was graduated from HS with no friends because no one could stand the spoiled boy. I saw him a few times and he always acted like he was God's gift to the world. So sad. His parents did it to him.
I have 4 different things for kids, I have bouncy balls for autistic kids, soft candy for little ones, non pb chocolate for allergies and other chocolate and candy for the older kids, I don't have kids so I like to have fun with it and make everyone feel special. I'm not judging you I just know what fills my well🤗
So... Why doesn't the neighbor just not stop at their house? Oh right, she wants free snacks for her kid
You are right on! This woman is going to make 5th things really hard on her child. Starting out in life expecting people to cater to you is going to be a long painfu lrocky road! Please give out the chips, the other UNentitled kids probably love the variety!
My family does one thing for accommodation: we buy both chocolates and gummies/hard candies
The gummies/hard candies are great for kids with nut/dairy allergies!
And this is why we can't have nice things *sigh*.....like just dont go over to that house?
Or do what every kid I have ever known does. TRADE IT FOR SOMETHING YOU LIKE!
I always gave out drink "n" boxes, chips or a small bar. The kids loved the drinks they would open right there, they must of been thirsty from walking around. Chips are good for kids they love them too, Don't worry about what the neighbors say.
You know what he can do if he doesn't like/can't eat chips? TRADE THEM FOR SOMETHING HE CAN EAT!! Trading candy was always the best part of Halloween! It happened a LOT at school! (I remember being known as the only kid in my class who enjoyed raisins, so i would often straight up be GIVEN them during candy trades!) and guess what? No one complained! I remember a bunch of kids offering snickers and reese cups because they couldn't have peanuts for "low value" stuff (like regular suckers) note: I wasn't a popular kid. In fact most of these kids bullied me most of the time, but candy trades were always positive interactions!
Btw: my favourite trick or treat house was an old couple who passed out FULL CANS OF POP AND HOMEMADE COOKIES AND CANDY APPLES!! Every kid got a can of pop, a little baggy of cookies and a candy apple. Because they lived in an area without many kids, my family often got leftovers lol
So this Karen ruined it for all the kids.. make sure that gets back to her, and to everyone else in the neighborhood 😊
I’d actually be super excited to get chips on Halloween! I’m a huge fan of sweet + salty food combinations, so I’d love to have a salty snack to eat either before or after I eat something sweet 😋
Besides, kids get more than enough candy on Halloween, especially if they live in a large neighborhood. A SINGLE non-sweet snack in your child’s bag (that’ll be filled with mountains of candy by at the end of the night anyways) isn’t an issue.
Agreed. I was never upset or bothered by getting chips on holloween. I'd always save them for a salty mid-day snack or to eat with my lunch at school
@@dekrus The neighborhood I grew up in (very large) had this couple who always gave out little bags of pretzels shaped like Halloween related things like ghosts, pumpkins, etc. Even though I was never that excited about them (since most kids go crazy over sweets) I’d eat them and enjoy them every single year.
Unless he can't eat it. And we don't know what this neighbor was asking of OP. She could have been asking him to add a few bags of a different type of chip that's the exact same price as the rest because her son will go into anaphylactic shock if he accidentally opens a bag of the type OP is handing out. She could've been asking for something very simple, and OP could be an asshole.
@@R.P-e2z Okay, and? As a parent, it’s YOUR responsibility to prevent your child from getting anything they’re allergic to. OP says that he already has a lot of chip options to pick from, and it’s not “simple” to ask your neighbor to go out of their way just to accommodate your incompetence as a parent. The kid’s potential allergies are NOT, nor will they EVER be, OP’s responsibility. The real world isn’t going to cater to your child’s every whim, so tough luck if they can’t be included in something. That’s the way the world works, get over it.
@@gothcsm How is picking up a Hershey's bar from the checkout lane as you're buying your other groceries "going out of your way"? Do you and/or OP shop at a store that doesn't sell candy? And she's not asking him to take responsibility for the kid's allergies, for God's sake-she's asking him to buy one small thing the kid can have! Jesus CHRIST, people ask you to do ONE small thing outside your routine and you act like they asked you to drain your savings for them!
I would just give that neighbor kid, veggie straws, and tell him hey your parent ruined this for you you could’ve picked anything from the bowl
Introduce the kids to the November 1st “trading” tradition.
Its parents like Debbie that makes entitled children that grow up to be entitled adults that no one wants to be around. Bad Debbie, bad, the world doesn't revolve around your child and its disability.
Debbie nees to get a life. If he didn't like the type of candy he got, would the neighbors all buy a different type of candy? Not. So let the kid trade them in with a different kid for candy. Debbie is full of it.
As a picky eater; I would dump my candy out when I got home and separate it for my parents. My mom would typically go through it with me so I would take out what I liked and wanted, and then we’d make individual piles for everyone else.
I make bags with a few different kinds of things, candy a can of soda, a craft project and whatever else was on clearance from work.
Anything you get on Halloween that you don’t want is just something you trade with the other kids for something you like
She Could give u a Snack for him so he feels included and you dont really habe to buy something new
If anyone asks, tell them that Debbie complained.
My son is autistic and will only eat certain kinds of candy. He goes trick or treating, to parades, and other events where they give out free candy. He takes the candy, i pick out what he can eat and five away, ir eat the rest. I buy candy i know he will like and use that to supplement the candy from the event.
Where I grew up.There was an old couple who gave out full size Chocolate bars for Halloween. One lady got upset because they weren't peanut to safe. She made a huge stink about at and it's old couple. Stop giving out candy altogether. They let everyone know why. That lady had to leave town because of the hate She got as a result
1) why does the kid keep going to your house if they know you are handing out chips?
2) The kid can just trade their chips with some other kid
Entitled much, should be happy you give treats out.
Why complain?? I'd prefer chips. Sweets to me are too much.
Kid can't eat chips for some reason. Not a reason to complain, but it's not like they just don't like it and having a fuss, more like diabetic with candies or something
Halloween is losing its appeal when we have to set up for taking special orders from freeloading kids and their parents. Just turn off the lights and enjoy a good movie.
If the other neighbors give out stuff her kid wants, she can go to those houses. Instead, she ruined the cool house that gives out chips.
I bring plain chocolate to my family events so everyone can enjoy it. My nephew is allergic to nuts and some people are gluten free, so I want there to be at least one snack that they know they can have. Unfortunately, not everyone cares about things like that. People really don't like changing anything to accommodate for anyone else if it means they have to go out of their way. To each their own, I suppose.
Couldn't the kid just trade the chips with another kid or give it to a sibling or something?
Why can’t she provide it and you give it to the child when they knock on your door?
That's what I do. My son is autistic, so I always take backup food to picnics, and buy candy for him on Halloween. He loves trick or treating, but only eats a few kinds of candy. He eats what he can and gets fruit flavored Tootsie rolls to replace what he doesn't like.
JANETTE IS HERE
Is it that he doesn't like them or that he physically can't have them. If the latter Debbie should be providing the alternatives
I bet it isn't that Debbie's kid can't have the chips, it's that they aren't something SHE wants to eat! Bet the kid doesn't get many of his trick-or-treat goodies cause she eats them instead. Give him a small box of crayons instead!
Half of the fun of getting candy and stuff on Halloween is trading with your friends anyways
What did Debbie want him to do? Did she want him to hand out gluten-free organic free-range vegan tahini chips that cost $30 a bag, or did she want him to mix in a few mini bags of Kettle Chips and let her son choose from those? The nature of what she's asking will tell me whether OP is TA or not.
she want no chips for the kid just candy
@@BASIC8584 Then buy a chocolate bar and give that to the kid. I do not see why everyone thinks OP is in the right here for refusing such an easy accommodation.
@@R.P-e2z maybe cus its not fair for other kids. if the brat doesnt like it they can skip op house.
@@BASIC8584 You know, the more I think about OP's reaction and the reactions of those who side with him, the more I think OP (and his supporters, by extension) is a narcissist. He's refusing this accommodation because he interprets the mother's request as an insult to his tradition. The outsized anger toward her, and the way you and others disparage a disabled child, makes me think that it comes from a wounded ego. Picking up a single candy bar wouldn't be any trouble at all, but acknowledging that his tradition doesn't work for everyone means acknowledging that he was (slightly and unintentionally) wrong. A narcissist cannot handle this.
Thank you for helping me understand.
@@BASIC8584learn how to spell, you ignorant cat lady moron who weights 600 pounds
This time just don't and then they will be mad when you don't you say I adjusted so everything is fair and I will now tell everyone the reason I didn't is because you bothered me about it not being fair so I made it fair by not doing it at all
Agree with op
Ummm.... is it not normal to get chips on Halloween in the usa? Like chips are probably 50% of what you get in canada. Chocolate another big bit of it candy is probably the lest thing you get (i get that Chocolate is considerd candy)
Candy is about 99% of what American kids get, only recently have people been looking at other things like toys, cookies, occasional fruit and toothbrushes. When I last trick or treated, about early 2000's, all I got was candy, chocolate and stickers. Having helped friends kids go out, they got the same with some granola and cheap little toys tossed in
don't the kid got friends to trade with? or maybe the kid can trade to chips to their parents for candy. thats what I did when the kids got stuff they didn't like I would trade.
more like the mam dont like chips i bet she the kind of parent who takes the candy off her kids
My opion why the hell are you complying it’s free he’ll if your kid don’t want it u can have it also I’m sure he gets plenty of candy my Halloween carndy will last for weeks to months
Yep
NTA
Wait, it’s offering other options a problem? I mean, if she had her kid, can’t eat it then that’s fine and if she’s asking for you to completely change the options just so her kid can eat the same thing as everybody else that’s a bit much but an option that the kid can eat wouldn’t be bad, right? It wouldn’t be that hard to buy like a pack of pre-cut apples or whatever he can eat and it would add another choice for the other children as well, right?
What I’m saying is this is an actual disability. Much like an allergy, it’s actually kind of reasonable if somebody politely ask you to accommodate it. This isn’t just like a preference… Which can be accommodated but honestly doesn’t have to be because you’re actively choosing not to eat. It is not like you can’t. Like… If he can’t eat it then it would be nice to accommodate for it and if it’s a preference… Eat it or don’t.
Yta. Just buy a few of something the kid can eat. It's not that damn hard to make a disabled child feel included.
Fr! Unless it’s something expensive or unreasonable it shouldn’t be an issue and we don’t know if the mother actually “demanded special treatment” for her child or just asked and given how clearly biased op is, why wouldn’t they take it that way
@@jeancorcoran6017 fr! this stuff pisses me off. It's not like she's saying that he needs to stop handing out stuff that her kid can't have, she just asked if her kid can also be included. Idk if that man just hates disabled children or something, but he sounds like a piece of work.
Op is a horrible man and neighbor.
Uhm no…
Debbie? Is that you?
omg after weeks ur finally in yhe comments!
Rare Janette W
@@daniellemitchell3118 jerkasss op is that you?
NTA