Things about Relationships I wish someone told me about
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- Опубликовано: 6 апр 2019
- people are weird sometimes
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And this tells me you read the description, which means you respect what I have to say! Thank you :D wishhya the best! 
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A good phrase the internet taught me is: "You don't have to light yourself on fire, just to keep others warm."
Man, that helped me a lot.
Woah that's a good one. I've never heard it before
@@Faith-zt3pq i heard that one too
Thanks
Thx boiiii
this is accurated
"I'm sorry I have to cut you off. I'm not responsible for your happiness."
"You're literally my therapist I pay you 250 an hour"
i- lmfao that's great.
LMAOO O O O OO O
LMFAO WAIT-
I WAS EXPECTING SOMETHING REALISTIC LOL
They're still not responsible for your happiness, just saying
“you are NOT responsible for anyone’s happiness!!”
this single line is actually helping me so much holy crap, thank you so much jaiden.
*Parents*
The only happiness you are responsible for are your own and your imagination
But you are responsible for your own happiness
Except don't live by it TOO much or you'll become selfish
@@simionleva3856 There is a difference between not being responsible and not doing sh*t for anyone’s well-being I guess
"do you feel like you're walking on eggshells around them?" has carried me so far in knowing what relationships are harmful to me
Jaiden: We have to interact with people
Pandemic: Allow me to introduce myself
THE HUGGING AAEÆÆÆŔĚƏƏ
Celestial Dragons the fuck are you saying my guy
Hmmm, I like the stealing joke.....
Me, an extrovert with discord and zoom: are you challenging me?
SpiderKidAnimations Anti-socials with anxiety such as I. “We are going to be great friends 😌”
“Don’t let them forcefully shove their junk on y-“
*_D E M O N E T I S E D_*
King Anson I thought I was the only one who found that joke dirty...🤣🤣🤣
*69 likes*
@@medditor3863 Wha?
I just realised this! Lmfao
@@medditor3863 bruh, it's a joke
The thing is, this isn’t just with friendships or partners, it’s family also sometimes. I know a lot of people that never thought about it. Personally I experienced a horrible relationship with my father until I inevitably cut him out of my life, and just wanted to put this out there for everyone
I can relate to this. I can't wait to cut mine out of my life too. Good on you
Same here with my grandma, I cut her off years ago, but have only recently realized how abusive she was towards me. This video has honestly saved my life in a weird way.
Yup, easing him out of my life rn. It really is amazing what cutting out toxic people can do.
It's crazy cause I'm going through this right now, but it's like, they're our parents. They've technically done everything for us and personally I feel wrong for disrespecting them. Idk if I'm being an asshole for disrespecting them or not giving myself enough credit and need to be my own. I should go to a therapist huh
The ecosystem analogy helped a lot I mean it hel0ed the unhealthy ways I were in relationships
Jaiden's channel gives me a breath of fresh air, a cousin I don't see often but always have a blast when they're around
Anyone else super afraid that they're being manipulative towards others without noticing?
Me
I’m not cuz I don’t have any relationships :3
Yep. Now I’m scared everyone thinks I’m a jerk and I have no clue
your profile picture reminds me of 2012 and I love it so much
Me
Jaiden: talks about relationships
James: talks about his dead moth
And yet, which one of them is more successful?
They're both awesome tho.
JustAHamsterOwner Oof he said *more*
@@nuggetthehamster7072 they can't both be *more* successful.
@@nuggetthehamster7072 i agree with you my friend.
@@nuggetthehamster7072 also agree
This video has SINGLEHANDEDLY changed how I develop relationships with people. I genuinely didn't understand how to have healthy boundaries for years. "You are NOT personally responsible for anyone's happiness!" is SUCH. A. MANTRA.
Okay, so I think I'm finally ready to share this.
I learned of this video roughly 2 years ago. At the time, I'd already been through a slew of slightly toxic friendships, so I resonated with this video. But, by that point I had a group of great friends who I really trusted.
About a year ago, one of those "great friends" asked me out and I said yes. It wasn't exactly how I imagined my first relationship going, but I thought it was going swimmingly well. At least that's what he told me. Because any time I expressed doubts or anxieties about something, he told me that's just how it was supposed to be. And I'd been friends with him for like three years, so obviously he was "very trustworthy".
After about three months, I was ready to not be getting him anymore and (after a semi-traumatic experience right after we broke up involving unwilling first kisses and a child-locked door) ready to not know him any more.
Because of what he had told me, I felt like it was my fault. Like I had pushed him to whatever. But about a week after I got out I remembered (if a little too late) this video. The number of "toxic traits" listed here that he had were ASTOUNDING:
- *_Emotional Blackmail:_* He knew this was my first relationship, and told me that dating someone "super-duper casually" had WAY more emotional responsibilities than most married-couple relationships have, and I basically became his unpaid therapist. He also totally trauma-dumped on basically the first date and kept using that to guilt me into stuff. "I know you'll be the one to not leave" and stuff like that.
- *_Shifting Blame:_* He kept blaming me that in those three months we really only ever went on 2 dates. However, I only was the cause of this once, and that was because that weekend I had strep throat AND Hurricane Ian hit. All the other times the dates got postponed he was hanging out with friends or he had a stomach bug (which he also blamed me for... For some reason...).
- *_Gaslighting:_* Was used to supplement the shifting blame.
- *_Guilt-Tripping:_* Was used to supplement the emotional blackmail.
- *_Support system:_* He very much tried (and somewhat succeeded) at cutting me off from my support systems. He kept accusing me of hanging out with my friends more than I hung out with him, even though I hardly went out, and he hung out with his friends all the freaking time. He also told me that in a relationship you don't just go to your parents for everything, that's when you start being able to handle things on your own. And, once all was said and done, he went to our manager and said he didn't feel safe because I told my best friend (who worked with us and is incredibly in tune with people's emotions) a watered-down version of what had happened, and got me in serious trouble and placed under what was basically a "keep-quiet" mandate. Meanwhile I was having mini panic attacks anytime he came too close. (And yes, I knew going into it that dating a coworker was like farting in an elevator, but I figured a one time exception with "one of the sweetest people I knew" would've been fine. Nope.)
- *_Justifying/Explaining Actions:_* I'm not even gonna list how many times I did this, either to myself or to others.
- *_Disliked by the Trustworthy:_* My best friend mentioned on several occasions that he got a bad vibe from this guy. I just figured he thought he was annoying.
- *_Feel Like Leaving Is Dangerous:_* See emotional blackmail.
- *_"Do you put off seeing or responding to them?":_* Yeah. Many times he'd text me asking me to play unpaid therapist for him again, and I'd just pretend like I didn't have my phone for a bit.
- *_"Have they threatened you or themselves in any way?"_* Yup. There were a lot of veiled threats directed at both of us. He acted super religious and he basically implied that a girl who breaks off a relationship was a "harlot" and would never be forgiven, and he also implied that breaking things off might be dangerous for him.
- *_"Do they make you feel like you can't do things on your own or you can't make a single decision without them?"_* Yup. See support system and shifting blame. Also, he kept talking about how I didn't know what was best, so I should give up on my dream and a day-job that I loved so that when he was a famous movie star I'd be able to pull him away from all of the ladies who'd be throwing themselves at him because he's "so hot and so famous".
- *_"Do they ask for a lot of favors or money and don't pay them back?"_* I didn't experience this first-hand, but I remember him telling me about an argument he and his friend had about how they'd always go to movies, the friend would pay for the tickets, and he never paid her back.
- *_"Do they talk badly behind your back?"_* His best friend (who was toxic in his own right) dated one of our other coworkers. We got to talking one day, and she said that her ex (the best friend) would talk crap about everyone in our workplace. I was apparently the only one he didn't have any comments on, until things ended, and she implied that very nasty things were said. I didn't know the friend that well, so I can only imagine where he heard those things from...
- *_" Do you feel like you're walking on eggshells around them?"_* Absolutely. That was the three most emotionally draining months in my life.
- *_"Do they put you down?"_* Yeah. Between how I "couldn't get the whole dating thing right," I "didn't spend enough time with him," etc. I pretty much felt like total crap by the end of everything.
Plus...
-When we were together he hit on the coworker who was dating his best friend while I was just a few cubicles away.
-He kept going to events "as a friend" with this girl who I knew had a crush on him and would always come up with a lame excuse as to why I couldn't go.
-Even though I told him before the first date that I was asexual and he said it was fine, he later told me he just said that in the hopes that he might get me to change my mind.
-I brought cookies into work one day, he said that I'd "have a good place in the kitchen" and that was when he started showing interest in me. (Found this out after all was said and done.)
-Oh yeah and I brought those cookies in when I was only 16 or 17. He was 5 years older than me, making him 21 or 22. That is illegal and (considering he's the outlier in guys I've liked) likely grooming.
But thank you, Jaiden, for helping me realize that it wasn't me. I really need that.
(He leaves tomorrow, and hopefully I will no longer be [as] cursed.)
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I may not have gone through any toxic relationships (as far as I'm aware), but after reading your story and many others in this comment section, I REALLY feel bad for people like you and those people, while they CAN get better, often don't. They are super harmful and I really get pissed off at them when I read these types of stories. However, I do get that people like them can get better.
Wow, your ex sounds like a really gross dude. I’m glad you’re free of him now.
I'm sorry you had to go through all that.
One point has me genuinely curious- you being asexual means you wouldn't wanna date anyone? Or have a romantic relationship? Or is it just you want to have a platonic relationship and not a sexual one? If so, why chamge from friend to boyfriend?
@@licarsmeth6890 I'm romantic I just don't want to... Canoodle.
Holy fuck dude. Best of luck in the future
“I’m pathetic just leave me”
“Ok”
*leaves*
“Uhm”
*me being literal*
*Thats what I call a pro gamer move*
Poké Dudes meeeeee bro
Wow this is my best comment since one I made on a Betty boop video
I hate people who keep repeating that shit.
-You deserve clean air.
*China* : stop right there
sea turtles : I have air but I CANT BREATHE
FOSSIL FUELS, POLLUTION, DEATHHHHHH.. sorry I've been in school for too long..
China: We are selling _canned air_
Air: MaDe In ChInA
@@omoghosty5777 i became zillionaire
I just got out of a toxic relationship 2 weeks ago and I've started to think it would've been better if I stayed or dealt with it. I came back to Jaiden's channel and saw this and this video really helped me a lot to see the red flags and the reasons why I left. I just wanted to say thank you for making this, because realizing manipulation or leaving unhealthy relationships is something really important to keep in mind. Thank you :)
I remember when this first came out. Its crazy all these years later this advice still stands true, absolutely timeless perspective and counsel.
“When you do the kisses with someone” Cutest phrase ever
JKH133 Yep.
haha yA
SHIP
Ship you and yo doggie
Wow
Jaiden: "No one wakes up and is like 'haha im gonna be super manipulative today!'"
Politicians: *Watch me*
"Lying isnt a career"
**laughs in politician**
Hot and original take.
Also politicians: Uh wait don`t watch me its harmful for my career. Don`t watch me just listen to me & everything`s gonna be fine. TOTALLY not gonna manipulate you guys or turn the whole country into elected autocracy, I SWEAR. Just F@@king listen to me & not to those other a$$holes & if something starts making sense just shoot it in the face with a bazooka. And if you don`t listen & start teaching M how to do MY job, I`m gonna throw ya in jail bud, so good time enjoying picnic to prison land adventure park if you decide to buy yourself a ticket, the price for which is- your freedom LOL, so enjoy your time. Totally not gonna turn this into a elected autocracy.``
Polish politics:well we manipulator evry dsy every hour every minut eevey secound (i and my friends call Polish politics little liaras)
What is Politicians
As someone who is battling depression and anxiety, I wonder how I come off to others. I just got back in touch with some old high school friends, they don't know what I'm going through because I haven't told them, but I catch myself oversharing certain things and being overally emotional. Honestly, reconnecting with them has helped me take my first steps to take charge of my life by going back to school, but I have to learn not to text them so much when I'm feeling down. I feel like it's kind of selfish, but I just get so damn lonely sometimes. I just hope I'm not being an emotional vampire.
You might be. But something important to note I think is that getting on people's nerves now and then isn't the end of the world and we all do it. It's all about the give and take, the understanding through clear communication and the apology. Like even under far less heavy circumstances, if someone just had something stressful happen to them, they're like to take that energy into their next conversation and make it unfun for the person they had it with. Does that mean they're a bad person that can't regulate their emotions or is that just normal and we're not machines? Don't be overbearing, of course, but simultaneously, don't think you have to a perfect conduit of good vibes to everyone, that's unrealistic.
rewatching this after having gotten out of a toxic relationship is so eye-opening.
I was being manipulated and bullied for so long, and I didnt even realize it
I would blame myself constantly, because I always felt like it was my fault.
but, finally ending things off was the best decision, it did sting, but I wasnt myself anymore and I had lost so many friends in the process.
being in a toxic relationship is extremely difficult, especially when you feel like there's no one to turn to and you feel trapped.
but, just remember youre your own person, no one should ever control your life and the things that you do
My therapist: exists
Jaiden: I'm about to end this whole man's career.
Omg literally what I was just thinking about it 😂
*lets act that is not there
Wtf
PLEASE get actual help if you need it, don’t use a RUclips as a substitute.( still love jaiden!) not trying to ruin the joke, but jokes aside, PLEASE get help if you need it.
Jaiden, the ultimate therapist
Jaiden really out here advocating for everyone to be their own Lorax
speak for your own trees
Yessss!!!
i am the Lorax i speak for the trees,if you polute eviction notice to thee
I am the Clorox, and I speak for the Bleach.
I am the lorax, I speak for the trees. Litter again, I'll break your knees.
Two years ago I watched this video and it made me realise i was a part of a REALLY toxic friendship. It was one of those “but she’s really depressed and su1c1d@l i don’t want anything to happen to her!” Friendships where I end up being forced to carry the burdens of my friend to the point that they aren’t getting any better, but I’m getting worse. It pulled me into a really dark place but this video smacked some sense into me and I ended the friendship. Now I can say I’m really truly happy.
Sorry to ask but what happened after you ended things? I'm desperate rn
“You’re NOT responsible for other people happiness!” You do not know how much this helped me Jaiden with a certain relationship so thank you so much!
"Drugs are bad...are my other friends going to do it???"
Friends: slams heads into coke
That was funny I don't know why😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
*SNIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF*
Yes, the rest of us also saw that.
CANS COKE INGOB-)HEADS SMACkWould FRIENDS MY
I could not stop laughing
Jaiden:”You dont have to solve other people’s problems”
Me: *Looks at math* “Well, if you say so…”
Wait wha
holy shit your IQ
I mean, when are you gonna need it anyway (unless you aren't in high school yet)
@@funnyvideoguy3216 Or in Turkey.
@ii_nixliiYT agreed.
i came back to this video after i got broken up with and i realized that both of us were being terrible to each other . its really hard to see bad behavior in yourself but coming back and seeing it explained from an outside perspective is really enlightening . i always forget how helpful this video is until i come back to it
This is very true,
But when I first watch this video I highly questioned “am I toxic?”
Every single one of us did something toxic, ik I did, but the moment we admit it and the more we grow and STOP that’s how you know it’s getting better, but if you don’t change then yes that’s a big issue on ur part,
We should also remind ourselves some toxic traits come from trauma, now don’t use that as an excuse, but I know trauma made me have abandonment issues where I would try to be very close to certain friends and the moment they went off without me I would break down, emotions like that isn’t saying your manipulative or toxic, it’s how u deal with it, and if you dealt poorly it’s never to late to change
I feel like there aren't enough ppl saying stuff like this
Jaiden: Not responsible for anyone's happiness.
Person: But I'm a therapist.
Therapy gives people the tools to help them fix themselves
Okay gray area there.
Alright, grey area.
Or a mother
I’d just like to say that therapists have the job of helping people and/or giving them the professional social/emotional help they need. Therapists are responsible for helping people to change into being the better version of themselves’ in order to make their life more enjoyable, but, therapists do not control the people they see. If their visitors refuse the advice they are given and decide to be so incompetent that they block out any useful information towards a better path to the future, the therapist is not responsible. (Y’all probably know this, I just wanted to comment it)
"NOT responsible for anyone's happiness!"
"But.. I'm Santa Claus..?"
"..."
"Alright, grey area."
thomas jefferson
@g@m3 i said that because of the op's profile picture. it's daveed diggs playing thomas jefferson in the hamilton musical
Lmao
What about Cupid?
It's at 4:49 btw
This is such a heartfelt and deep video. It feels like psych2go
I have sent this video to two of my friends when they were in toxic relationships, and used the eight points you listed out around eight minutes and thirty seconds in to help them figure things out. Thank you SO much.
“you are NOT responsible for anybody’s happiness”
Me: But they’re my children
Bruh
Well... that's the only case, it's your responsability, I guess? But there's a fine line in being responsible and being a helicopter.
@@suravinayan2753 When the child is yours? sure.
Ok gray area
Ok. That's a gray area. While you're responsible for making sure they grow up to be a happy, responsible, loving individual. You're not always responsible for their happiness(In other words. Don't make decisions that are already going to make them happy unless it's related to their needs(unless it's them being picky about things like food))
Jaiden: THAT"S TOXIC AS SHIIIIIIII
RUclips: RED FLAG
Lol
No it’s
Jaiden: THATS TOXIC A SHIIIIII
RUclips: YELLOW SIGN
Lol😂
XD IM DEAD XDXDDXDXDXD
Ah! She didn’t say the whole word!
Every once in a while I'll come back to this video, I've had a couple toxic relationships, one was more recent and we were friends for a long time with no problems and randomly they became sour. I doubt myself a lot on if I am actually " in the right" but this video always helps me realize and remember that I did all I could before it went bad and that I didn't do anything to cause it to happen. Thank you ❤️
I've recently had to ask my best friend of a few years to give me some space and leave me alone for a few days, I felt horrible for doing this but he has slowly become much more toxic over the past few weeks and it is starting to negatively impact me. I know I will thank myself for this in a few weeks time. Like this video says, we are not responsible for other peoples happiness. Hopefully you are in a better place now and have found some new people to bring some positivity into your life!
I remember watching this years ago when it first dropped, it was great back then, but I didn't realise how much I needed this now... Just had to go NC with someone and this helped bring context to things and validated my actions... Thank you Jaiden
Jaiden: Someone shouldn't ever need you. They should want you.
Romantic Movies: Wha'd you say?
Ifkr! The idea of love they project is really toxic if you ask me (I know you didn't but still) It's just that the whole "I'll die without you" facade is really shitty.
@@shaina4891 Strong agree.
100% AGREED. You should NOT need anyone to survive, unless there is a valid reason to require help from another individual. (I.e caretakers). YOU SHOULD NOT USE OTHERS AS A TOOL FOR YOUR SURVIVAL. This idea is toxic asf and annoying to hear about for the millionth time.
(Sorry this kinda became a rant)
You should see what Hollywood producers do behind the scenes...
(Seriously. Those movies are made by sick people.)
Dum you are so rude to her i don't know why people hate her she is awesome👍🙄
Moral of the story:
*don’t be friends with anyone unless they are fertilizer*
Quote of the year
What if they’re animals living in the plants?
I subed to you because that cat is cute
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Or if they are Santa
ironically I watched this video when I was in a toxic 5 year relationship, and i remember thinking nothing was wrong at the time and applied the video to other people in my life in my head. But revisiting the video really makes the parts of us that didn't work out become glaringly obvious, goes to show that hindsight is 20/20. I know the things i messed up in the relationship, and am more aware of the things my partner did behind my back now that we are done. i love your videos jaiden, keep it up!
i’ve always had a strong relationship with this video. about 5 years ago I had a bunch of friends that really sucked and I just keep rewatching this to feel better about not talking to them anymore. Now, someone who I was very good friends with has stopped talking to me due to my mental health not being great and her trying to get better. And now I’m back watching this. It’s yet again comforting. It’s so good hearing somebody say “You are not responsible for anyone’s personal happiness” Even though it sucks for me i’m so glad that my former friend is actively trying to get better, even if that means i’m not a part of it. This is always something I watch in times where one way or another I need to grow or change as a person.
"Are my other friends gonna do it?"
*smacks face into the pile of coke*
Yeah I know right! My gf is sleeping behind me, and I'm trying to be quiet, then all of a sudden "PAFF" and I break out laughing like a donkey!
😂😂
XD tru
The horrible story of a man that was forced to connect his youtube account to google+ k
ThatGirlInTheComments 500th like baby
“Dont let people force their junk on you” -jaiden, preventing sexual assaults 10 minutes at a time.
Even if it was a accidental convenient sentence
Hey great anology😃😃😃
@@kingstonsilva1417 dontyoumeanANALogy
@@TheActualMrLink _w h y_
@@TheActualMrLink WHY
Thank you, jaiden. I've been going through some tough friendship changes. 0:46 -1:21 hit home for me rewatching this video. This has helped me understand my situation more clearly & about myself as well :)
I saved this video and reflect back onto it when ever things feel fishy for me or a friend who is telling me about a crappy person. I normally watch through and if a friend needs it send it to them. It’s always nice to have a refresher
”When you look at somebody through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just looks like flags” - Wanda Pierce
Damn that’s a good fucking quote holy shit
Bojack moment
I used to be in a really famous teee vee show...
So like if you look at someone you “love” the red flags arent as visible?
@@livlovd6380 no shit
I saw something once that said: “When you’re wearing rose-colored glasses, the red flags just look like normal flags.”
quote from Bojack Horseman
Hahahahha
*My glasses are pink*
Wha
Every 60 seconds a minuet passes in Africa.
how does that mean anything
/im14andthisisdeep
when this video first got uploaded it helped me so much with a toxic friend , i literally sent it to them in our groupchat and everyone agreed cause we've been thinking it. I always end up coming back to this video every so often, it really helps me ground myself and remind me about really important relationship things
You know, i watch this video at least twice a year. This is by far one of the best video on youtube you could watch to slowly heal and get back self-confidence. This video is extraordinary pure and full of kindness as much as good for putting limits where they need to.
Jaiden, you can't imagine how much this video has helped me so I want to say:
Thank you
Jaiden: No one wakes up and says "Ha, ha I'm going to be really manipulative today."
Greg Heffley: Hold my soda.
I fucking snorted, how dare you (translation from gayngry: thanks I needed this)
I’ve committed nose exhale
* exhales * yep
Ray Diaz too
ahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahaha
Jaiden: *Swears in a video*
RUclips: RED FLAG
Dang right
Well it's not technically a swear as she didn't say the last letter
@@nethascotx24 yeah but this is RUclips. stop doing drugs your high sis
@@nethascotx24 yeah she definitely did say the last letter on
Dean lol
I just broke off a 10 year friendship because me and the friend had grown apart and they lashed out at me and started blaming me for situations I can’t control. Breaking my friendship off with them will most likely cause most of my friendships to disappear which I’m terrified of, but this video made me feel more confident about my choice. It reminded me why I broke it off
I've used this video to help other friends for many years, and now this year I'm using it to help myself. I even have the hard pill section clipped for repeated mantras and for slapping at friends who are struggling with this kind of thing. Codependency can sneak up on you no matter how healthy or well meaning you are. Thanks for this wonderful bite-sized video of self affirmation. It'll be a while before I feel better, but I can rest easy knowing that eventually I will. ♥
I love how Toga wakes up and is like: haha, I'm gonna be super manipulative today
yeppp, time to go manipulate uraraka and deku hehe
Me: sees this
Me: ARI!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE ARI!!!
Haha yeah
I watched this so many times already and now I have only realized that’s toga 👁👄👁
Lmao I didn't think anyone else knew who that was
"don't let them forcefully shove their junk on you" -jaiden 2019
DIRTY MIND TEST!!!
doing that is something called rape i suppose
I S T H A T A N A N T I R A P E J O K E ?
SJWs 2019: BURN IT WITH FIRE!
Wait what?
How is it dirty mindex?
rewatching this video after leaving toxic friends really hits different. made me learn that it’s really not easy to spot manipulation. stay safe out there.
thank you for this, it's so hard to manage yourself around relationships. this video really helped me a lot in realizing and taking action even though it hurts but I guess things just need to change
When someone drinks straight out of the milk carton
RED FLAG
Just drinking plain milk is a red flag :/
TJ Shavis oh darn they caught us
🚩
BOTH OF YALL ARE WRONG
Yes thank u
_when someone sneezes with their eyes open_
*_RED FLAG_*
*impossible*
If someone does that, they are not human.
Hold up
Did you know sneezing with your eyes open is actually bad for you?
The moØn playzz no coz it’s legit impossible a human can’t physical sneeze with their eyes open
This video taught me to stand up for myself and put myself first when I would always justify someone else's behaviour. I am proud of myself for making the right decision. I also learnt what is toxic within me. I do not vocalise what I feel or need when it is required.I must learn to stop being embarrassed of my own wants, needs and emotions. I am not too much or too sensitive for being the way I am.
Further, a reminder to everyone. None of us are perfect human beings. We are all flawed. In fact, incredibly flawed human beings. So, I want you let be less harsh on yourself. If you are toxic in some ways or were, do your best to work on it! No one can perfectly eliminate the ugly sides of ourselves but we can always try to reflect on ourselves each day, be mindful and progress. Being too mindful is very stressful!
Relax, do what is best in your consciousness and enjoy life :)
This video helped me so much on relationships. I watched it ages ago and liked it despite being young and not understanding it a lot, I really liked it and watched it every year since. it's really helped me and given me a good understanding on relationships, whether it be friends or partners
My health teacher played this in class, best teacher ever
:0
i want that teacher.
I wish mine did, we had this exact same talk but longer and more confusing so playing this video would have saved multiple weeks worth of thought and agony.
Yasss
wait your a lamp?
well you better be careful of moth then-
Jaiden: "NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYONES HAPPINESS"
Me: "W-what if I'm a therapist"
Flute&Clarinet Duet
Mmmm grey area....
Can't work harder than the client. You equip them with tools, but they have to use them.
Therapist in training here, professionally responsible for helping people in a variety of ways but never personally responsible. being personally responsible is a great way to hurt your client and yourself.
Gray area
alright gray area
this is a really valuable piece of info that is essential for maintaining healthy dynamics. positive and negative relationships are both incredibly nuanced. like you said, most people don’t wake up and decide to be manipulative. it’s usually a product of their environment or something that harmed them. fear and control are, unfortunately, powerful driving forces for questionable behaviour. and i don’t think any of us get out of this without being influenced by one or the other. it’s most important to see where those two factors come into play and how they contribute to our interactions. where is the lack coming from? that’s how we can pinpoint it and begin repairing the damages.
this video is so important to me, it's helped me so much and really changed the way i view things. no joke i send this video to my teachers if they ever even MENTION something along these lines (and they always love it)
"Responsibilities aren't just assigned to you."
Schools: I'm gonna pretend I didn't see that.
The guidance counselor: No No... He's got a point.
Expooooosssssseeeeddddd
Employers: Nothing to see here...
Parents: yea... just schools..
666th like
As Garnet once said: *“Your soulmate Is your complement not your missing piece”*
sup fellow fan
Imagine when they turn to the gem, they just remake into a jewelry store
Complement*
I'm a therapist
Do therapists have to help people
Thank you for this video!
It helped me to notice that I need some distance in one relationship (non romantic, more familial).
Just because they want me, I don't need to be close to them.
4 years later and I found this video. An old friend and me were friends since Reception. Lately he has become a bit more manipulative and wierd and I don't know why but then this video popped up on my For You. I watched it to see what it was about and it helped really well. I supported him on what he needed to improve on and helped him go see therapy. Even though we aren't in touch anymore I'm glad I helped him through this video. Thank you Jaiden
"Don't let them forcefully shove their junk on you"
-Jaiden 2019
Loki the kitten ikr
9/10 Kids don't understand this joke
Ew lmaooooo
I didn’t even realize that... I’m never gonna unhear that xD
Her chuckle after saying that though.
When someone says “did I ask” every time you say anything.
RED FLAG
THANK YOU
Bright PE did I ask?
Bright PE lmao jk
Lol
DiD i AsK?!?!?
Jaiden, I hope you realize how much this video (and a few others) helped us become happier by learning more about who we are, what we desire, and shaping our boundaries.
It's "only" been 4 years this video came out now, but I can see how much things changed for me in the meantime, and how, without even knowing it, this video (alon with many many other experiences) shaped who I am today, and the fact I'm happier everyday with who I am and where I am :) I still have a long way to go and a lot of things are unsure for me, but I learn about myself and better interacting with people every day, my friends are the best I could have hoped for and I found ways to easily come back to a safe space when necessary. I don't tire myself out every day anymore, and I try to enjoy life as much as I can before getting to the next step, be it through hobbies, relationships, silly stuff or whatever else
I'm so happy I can call myself happy
The thing I'm calling ''The Island Mindset'' has helped me! Basically, I ask my self ''Is this person helping my island/ecosystem?'' and if they aren't... 6:40
Can't be in a harmful relationship if you have no relationship
I'm so lonely
Noble Aura Me and my grades are starting to have a bad relationship. XD
I don't know whether to laugh or cry from the relatability.
@@medicbag7526 ;-; so true
I feel ya buddy 😔
@@Lightboxy Bro, it's a joke. BUT if it had been true that's some good advice
When someone's gonna swear in your Christian Minecraft server
*_RED FLAG_*
*police sirens*
DO NOT SAY POTTY WORDS LIKE POOP OR FRICK ON MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER
* Nuclear explosion *
I'm Gonna Curse And No One Can Stop Me!
*Inhales*
H E C C
Scott! Yass
Dead meme
I'm really glad I stumbled along to watch this video. Thank you. I've been struggling with a situation and at least for a little bit it brought some calm to that storm :)
I come back to watch this video every now and then because I’m not good at relationships. I have a friend I haven’t known for long and I’ve been open about the fact that I am insecure about relationships
“Yeet toxic people out, yoink good people in”
-Mahatma Gandhi
Mind if I use that for my research paper?
I have to yeet more than anything else :,,)
alpha bet Subscribe to Pewdiepie, also T-gei
I thought she was gonna cuss
I mean in reality it'll get to the point where relationships wont exists seriously i mean now a days toxicity is nearly over 75% 🙏💥cant wait for the earth to end at some time period 👌
girl: "haha, I'm gonna be super manipulative today."
me: "IS THAT TOGA-"
yesss, I was thinking about it too!!!!! (not me looking for a comment mentioning her😂)
@@alma2461 i mentioned her :P
LMAO
SAME LMAO-
YES
I like the pile example because it symbolizes that it's perfectly fine to help them out a bit with what you can without neglecting your own mental health but it's important to set boundaries about how much you can handle helping with
I come back to this video every couple of months to remind myself how to act, and how they are acting with my friends. I've been in a few abusive friendships, but only noticed until I watched this video. I left an abusive friend group and have been doing much better. My ecosystem is much more healthy, and I have even found a few new friends to help maintain my ecosystem, and to help maintain theirs. Thanks so much Jaiden, you really helped :)
“But I’m Santa!”
“Alright, grey area.”
SandyIRL No she said Grey
Um excuse me its spelt grAy not grEy
I’m just kidding
SandyIRL It’s okay. It was just a mistake
Me in Santa costume: "hahaha!"
"You're not responsible for someone else's happiness."
This is a truth that's really hard to learn but very important to accept.
I'd love to print it and put in my forehead, so that MAYBE that one specific person would finally get it.
@singularling
It's harder when you lived a life where making others happy is practically survival and just an instinct.
Edit: grammar mistake.
"but i'm santa clause"
I cant stop myself from doing this yet lol. I need to go to a rage room XD
@@elanorpuppydoggowoofles2147 omg so right, I didn't know how to put it into words lol
This honestly just helped me so much, I recently left one of my best friends cause they were super toxic and did a lot of this and it was so hard because I keep thinking that I should just go back or talk to her cause she is going through kinda a hard time. But this just helped and now whenever I want yo I just think “ your not responsible for anyone’s happiness but yourselves” 😌
tysm for this, i was going through a hard time and you helped me detatch from them. now that i confronted him he is acting as the victim. even though he hurt me so much and technecally cheated on me he did way more and hes acting like i did way more. im still recovering and i js wanna say ty, i hope this video helps others ❤
Me: but...I have kids?
Jaiden: NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYONES HAPPINESS !!!!!
You here of the giving tree?
It’s a grey area! 🤣
Plenty of standards to follow. In dog country, it’s the moment your kid starts yapping back at you.
But I'm a therapist
thats wrong but its still funny
@@mcdowneywhite279 *hear
Don't let them forcefully shove their junk on you.
Jaiden Animations 2019
CONTEXT MATTERS
Vanossgaming 2015
A good message for both meanings and contexts
Thunder Waffle that’s what she said ;))
Con👏text!
Best analogy ever
I recently stopped hanging out with somebody who was mentally and emotionally draining in my life and this video really helped me be confident in myself that I made the right choice.
Much like Jaiden said, they would pull constant guilt trips, tell me that if I ever left them they’d be depressed forever, always claim they “always have something to cry about”, and basically just throw pity parties.
I felt bad and wanted to do what I could to help, but it got to the point that it was taking a toll on my mental health (especially whenever they’d flirt with me after I told them I wasn’t interested)
Anyways, long story short, I felt bad for awhile about leaving them but I didn’t want to go back to them because of how mentally draining they were. So hearing this video was really a good pat on the shoulder.
Gotta take care of my ecosystem🌸
" and my *CUTE LITTLE DOLPHINS* are dying "
dolphins :
"When you look at someone through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags"
I'm 13 and this is deep
I mean- its true-
Damn. Just damn.
Wow......that’s poetic
Isn't that the horse from horsin' around?
“Don’t tolerate any pollution, you are the one who has to live in it, and you deserve clean air.” -Jaiden Animations
What a great quote honestly. (Fixed my comment)
first reply of 337 likes lol
@@shinyzane2660 what lol
@@shanonymous2010 i was the first reply to your comment
That freaking hit different oh my gosh
Ye
I remember when this first came out, I was in middle school and had the worst year of my then life. As I come back to it and reflect on all my four years of highschool I realized that there are so many toxic people in my life and are still in my life. I now realize that Im also a toxic person and I keep forgetting that others aren't like me, they think very differently than I do, and it causes frustration because I can't see their sides... it is hard because I'm so used to seeing people manipulate everything someone does that it become second nature to me, but I'm trying to get better so I'd like to thank you. Jaiden, I'd like to thank you for opening my eyes that day
i love this video sm. i always come back to it every now and then
"dont let them forcefully shove their junk on you."
oh.
oH
OH
iiKyanite OH FU-
Oh wow
Oh God
Now that I'm out of a toxic relationship, this video hits different.
I had a super toxic friend. We used to always fall out and he would always find i way to lay the blame on me, making me feel like it was my fault we were in this shithole of a situation to begin with. What i didn't know, is that we fell out because he didn't agree with what i did. He didn't like what i did so that made it a problem. This is a brief rundown of what happened.
Me: 'Hey i'm going to go hang out with (insert random friend name here) today!'
Him: 'So you're just going to leave me alone? What the hell is wrong with you. I thought we were close friends. You always treat me like shit!'
You see where i'm coming from?
@@MalakSmalak ah yeah. I had a friend like that. She was awful but I then I moved so it was fine I guess
@@velmadinkly1093 oof sorry to hear that :(
I’m proud of all of you in the comments who got out of that
It takes a lot of strength so good job
@@felinefrost7023 well it most certainly takes a lot of strength to say you are proud of someone! Thank you :)
Some parts of this episode remind of this movie, "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind". It's a good movie and it pretty much says some hard truth about the relationships
I'm gonna recommend this video to my schools guidance counselor. The metaphors you use to convey what you're trying to explain works so well and I feel like a lot of people could benefit from this video.
When you hear someone knocking your door and it says "You forgot your French lessons"
*_RED FLAG_*
ehehehehehheheeh
Beg for your life in spanish
NO DUO! DON'T DO IT!!
Getting a notification for that same thing JUST as I read this comment?
Red flag.
*BIG RED FLAG*
I’m gonna go do some Spanish now.....
"No one wakes up and is like "haha, I'm gonna be super manipulative today!" "
You're right. You can all trust me.
I will do whatever you ask. I pledge myself to your teachings.
*heavy breathing* HUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Why does she look like toga from mha
@@olisbricks2468 she does
did anyone notice toga?
bro i needed this video for the last 6 months my girlfriend has been manipulating me exactly like this
it got to the point that is was difficult to think about anything else and it took until a week ago to really realize that it could not be healthy i was bassically doing anything and everything to make her happy at the expense of my own mental health,
it sounds litterally exactly like this video its scary
im just so happy im out of it and my real friends are amazing for helping me notice it and break away
Your video is the only one I've been watching through this. I am in the process of leaving my abusive father, and your video is helping me be able to move forward with the steps I need to get to a better place. Thank you. ❤