The jealous narcissist wants to squash your God-given gift and any other good thing that you have in your life. Take your eyes off the narcissist and focus on yourself and the good people who deserve your attention.
Narcissistic abuse will mould you into what the narcissist needs you to be, to keep you as their source of supply. You need to hold on to yourself and your reality, to remind yourself of who you are.
Great point about how you can lose yourself. "Hold on yourself" is the phrase I used when awakening to the conclusion that I was in a worsening situation. With some EX-friend and all 3 EX-siblings, I reversed my NO CONTACT decision. Only to experience devaluations not too soon back into it. I don't want to throw an egg at my face again for the disappointment that I felt for not making my NC a permanent decision. (In my mind I had, but too bad I didn't stick with the original plan... I forgive myself, but I'm not going to make the mistake of forgiving them again.)
It is spot on. Since when I got massively crushed by my narcissistic family, I self-sabotaged myself to the extent that I myself do not recognize me, been transformed into a bitter, introverted, negative and lazy person
Let's get the strength to be ourselves again! Let the only change we make going forward is to LISTEN to our instincts, to EXIT after a significant red flag, and to FIND the tribe we are meant to be with
Exactly! I need to find my 'tribe'. Seems a difficult task, when you come to realise the world seems over populated with narcs and similar, but that is just the Enemy whispering in your head to keep you isolated. They are out there, we now have eyes to see and we can now spot them, we can sort the wheat from the chaff, instead of keep trying to make a square peg fit into a round hole.
Ya the sex thing..now we have none..its been 6 years..I dont even bother to put on makeup or heels or anything that's "to feminine" it makes him feel better .he never told me I had to change..he just implied it It's like he wants granny kisses instead of passionate kisses..I thought it was how he felt on a temporary basis like he just wasn't in the mood But the he told me to "slow.down" as if I was being to aggressive instead of sexually interested and open Over time I was shamed and just closed myself off..neither one of us even tLk about it We don't fight he isn't cheating..but there's no intimacy..at all..I feel like his.mother or sister..which is EXACTLY what he wants..isn't it?....GREAT😢..BOSTON 🍀
I really love all your talks these narcissistic people let us hate our kindness hate our affection always Sad lose our smile god help us thanks again ❤
Oh my goodness, this hits me so deeply. He told me I was “too mature” and criticized my love of peace, classical music, mature communication, love of writing, everything - all because I wouldn’t praise him through every binge drinking or five-hour tv watching session. Thank you for this.
Great advice! I bought a mini schnauzer, and cut off my internet to twice a week at most. It was the best thing I did because I found myself attached to the computer loosing even more precious time than I did with toxic relationships. Perhaps I was part of the toxicity. I believe so. Everything in moderation. With a trait such as doing anything to much, I had to look at myself and be selective about what I do online, and not loose track of time. Thank you for your videos, and coaching. Rare talent indeed in a You Tube world of abnormal human behavior enthusiasts.
I remember saying to God one time... Lord...toughen me up...help me to have thick skin to the point where I don't have to feel so deeply therefore overcome and protect myself from abuse. And god replied...no no no... NO. I wouldn't change anything about you. You're absolutely perfect exactly as you are!
This is exactly my story. I am a University professor. I consider my self beautiful, kind and sexy woman. I wanted to love, to laph, to be kind, to have deep conversations, to talk about science, meaning, purpose....to be loved and respected and cherished. All of this was rejected by my narc. I felt so unloved. All he wanted was a cook, to wash clothes and be a figure, a submissive doll, who will say: yes all you say Sir.
Gifts of Joy is a BIG ONE! Because you become so self conscious of not giving too much. I'm bubbly and somehow I feel like I get treated like Im stupid when I am not but I do think more creatively. 🎉
I needed to hear this message. I love in an intense way that is different from how others love. I was thinking about just burying that part of me so I wouldn't get hurt again. You pointed me in the right direction. Instead of burying that part of me, I need to decide if a certain person even deserves the way I love. If he doesn't, move on to a man who does. Thank-you.
Amen.. that's exactly where I'm at now... and 3 years later I have met a really good man. I had given up after going through the ringer (and still do at times) with my ex narc husband.... We share custody of our son, and if it wasn't for him I would have ZERO contact whatsoever from him. He brought out the fight and flight in me as I was a peoples pleaser who lacked how to set healthy boundaries previously .... now that I'm standing up for myself he can't handle it and has gotten uglier and more evil by the minute..... but I'm going to keep strong and let him be the end of his own demise.. We have to protect our peace!!
@@Mea_DS oh yes, when kids are involved, it's certain that they will be used as weapons by the narcissist. Stand strong and I am very happy for you that you found a terrific guy to spend your life with. You go girl!!!!!!!
@debbylee6329 thank you so much!! I'm still working through my triggers =/ and still 3 years into therapy but so glad to be on the other side. You're absolutely correct. He is already trying to manipulate and use my son as a pawn smh. It's never-ending, and I'm doing all that I can to remove 50/50 and be the primary custodial parent. This is exhausting with him!
If you bury that part of yourself , they win. Instead , be committed to learn discernment! Sending Lots of love your way and to everyone in this community trying to live a healthy life.
This had me crying. For the first time I felt understood. God bless you and thanks for sharing. You just freed me from years of self doubt and self loathing. I became ashamed of who I was and prayed that I could be different. You spoke to me directly. Its like you know my life experiences.
I’ve been blackballed, rejected, plotted against AT CHURCH! No protection. Every game in the book has stopped me from singing. This is at every church! Every church! You can’t have multiple gifts…..people will reject you and tear you down if they don’t have it
EXCEPTIONAL AMOUNT OF TRUTH. POWER. SONG. EVANGELISM.MERCY. LOVE. SAVING. PROPHETIC. TALENT. FOCUSED. HONORABLE. POWERFUL. I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE TALENTS OF A WARRIOR. HATERS HATE N ARE JEALOUS
Having been born and raised in such a hellhole of a family, you will most probably not even know who you are, what you want or what your strengths and talents are. Let alone being capable of even imagining that you might have the right to do so. Also, as in my case, your talents will have been usurped and exploited to serve as feathers in your parents' hats rather than resources for you to explore, enjoy, and put to good use as you see fit. Which will have "stained" them for you, turned them into yet another source of misery for you rather than a place of joy and peace. Add to all that the CPTSD and general hopeless despair rearding yourself, humanity, the world, your place and perspective in it, and you're in for a most interesting journey indeed...
I was crying all through this message. I just don't even want to be around people right now. Im just too raw and my energy is so low. My cortisol levels are low throughout the entire day. Stage 3 of 4 for adrenal burnout in spite of taking an adrenal glandular supplement. Four times what most would take.
You got that right, I dumped my whole persona and gender along with it! I'm actually super grateful to my ex narc for emasculating me sooo much, this girl was buried deep. I'm MORE grateful to my old self, though. He was so strong, he protected me, kept the real core of me safe from her, never let the dark clouds she summoned stop the love from shining out.
Thank you, Kevin, today's lesson was very apt for me. I gave all my gifts away and none were appreciated or acknowledged. It makes you feel like shutting yourself off, like you say, 'burying' your gifts, your light, so as not to get hurt again. But also, it feels like the experience has hardened my heart. I need to remember my gifts, my light, my joy, my laughter and appreciate them for ME and not just keep seeking how I can give them away all the time.👼🙏
Sincerely thank you. I think I understand. Like "radical acceptance" of the narcissist, it's now the right time to radically accept yourself to be on your way to joy and peace. Be accountable to yourself and learn each day. Build those muscles in your cerebral cortex.
Omg you just hit home👑 I've done that for years, after finally accepting all my identity does is cause me pain, when having to oscillate between that & being told my boundaries & standards are hurtful to others and unwarranted. Sometimes it feels like there is no answer. Thanks for the call to wake up, I'll try.
Equally yoked, that’s all i ever wanted! That’s all i thought i was signing for…If only for a year, a month, a day…is dreaming still something i can afford?
I enjoyed going to church singing on the worship team narcissists made me leave never want to go to church ever again. Having the head pastor hurt me I’m done with organized religion
Thanks for your good advice, energy & passion. I love being affectionate, but after narcissistic abuse it’s very hard to feel free & comfortable enough to trust yourself & others.
You're speaking to me. Looking for that hiatus and to shut myself off, to get alone and heal and leave men and certain people behind...but my gifts need to be used for the right person/people and to not let go of who I am and who God meant for me to be in THIS world. Really needed this message to put that in perspective. Thank you, Kevin.
It only took 48 seconds into your video when I realized, I'm not reinventing myself, "I'm Rediscovering and probably discovering myself"! Going on 2 years this May that I left the narcissist for the last time. I've never been happier in my life!!! ❤🎉Happy, Blessed & Safe New Year Y'all !
Great video! Thank you for bringing awareness to this subject. We lose ourselves in carrying the narcissist's load. In recovery it is time to return the focus back to rediscovering ourselves.
I find Christianity and following what Jesus modeled for us as a great guide. Forgive. Show kindness. Basically, the fruits of the spirit. Kris Reece YT has an excellent channel. I learned healthy boundaries and I have become the most authentic genuine person and at peace with Yahweh. Reparenting and protecting the inner child yet showing as much love and affection as I can to myself and those around me. Ive learned to tell the truth in love, when I see red flags in a person, I can peacefully approach the situation. Im a work in progress but Ive come a long long way.
Kevin, I really appreciate your insight. It resonates with me. The narcissists couldn't stand it when I was happy, affectionate, kind or loving. They hated when I achieved anything and would try to devalue it. They always acted as if something was wrong with me for being so loving. They took it for weakness until they realised they were cut off permanently. The normal people in my life received and appreciated these gifts while narcissistic and toxic people resent me for it. Remember Matthew 7:6. So I continued to be my authentic self with normal people and indifferent with narcs trying to gain access into my life without my consent. Like you said, we need to recognise who deserves our gifts and who doesn't. You're truly a light in a world of darkness. Thank you. 🤗💗🙏
ROYAL WE❤, KEVIN HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET RID OF MY NATURE EMPATH. I LOVE TO LOVE AND SPOUSE HAS REJECTED FOR 3 YEARS. 😢 I FINALLY REALIZED THAT I NEED TO LIVE NOT ONLY SURVIVE. TY❤ I WAS STRUGGLING BUT I RECEIVED YOUR MESSAGE 😊. I AM VALUABLE. ENDANGERED NO MORE.
I've been dealing with narcissistic people ..many in my life ...this video WOW profound truth ...exactly what I am going through at this stage of my life ..this is truth and freedom...I finally realized I am not changing ..I did forget who I truly was till a few months ago and I am a sensitive loving person ...I had lost that everyone all my life ..Cindy's to sensitive etc ..nope I'll keep my soft loving heart ❤which almost became stone #43acceptance AMEN GOD BLESS YOU FOR THIS PROFOUND TRUTH ❤
Love it !!!! Your content is always so rich and precisely what I need to hear. I have been trying to do my best to rid myself of not one , but TWO narcissists people I am dealing with right now. I don’t know where to start, but the conclusion is they are trying everything they can to stay in my life ! I am not responding to their text and they are sending even more texts. Now they escalated to sending me money ( I am a single mom and currently unemployed.) Even though this sounds good under different circumstances, I know this is a tactic of manipulation and they are appealing to my feelings of guilt, and feeling in debt. If I don’t thank them, then I will now become “ ungrateful .” Btw : one is a romantic ex partner and the other one is a female “ friend .” Both are full blown classic NPDs. It’s moIt’s almost hilarious in a scary way , bc they are both exhibiting the same behaviors at the same time. I am doing my best to hold on and stay in my power , but it’s hard man’ Although very possible that I have what it takes !!!
I can't even laugh around him without being made fun of. Haven't had an intimate experience in over 15 years. I just want someone that will appreciate me and show me some affection once in a while. I feel like I'm slowly being drained of the person I used to be.
Awesome, very helpful episode! Thank you! It's been a very rough last five years relating to a narcissistic family member, most especially the past ten months. I've had similar injuries in my professional life. In the past ten months, the abuse has gone a long way in the direction of destroying me. The insights in this video will help me bounce back! Thank you!
It's slightly different for those with a narcissist parent. You have to reprogram in some instances because you are teed up, trained by the narc and it attracts others. You're also getting rid of the envy and negativity you were taught was right. On the other hand you have to have held onto the core of what you are just to stay sane, in some instances your individuality is extremely strong because you have had to fight for it. It's interesting you mentioned sexuality. You are pummeled during your most sexually vulnerable time, adolescence with the old switcheroo, you're some sort of dirty pervert one minute then a pathetic prude the next depending on what causes the most embarrassment. It does mess you up in an area you become highly unwilling to talk through. An extremely difficult area to deal with.
great video. Jay Reid talks about our never getting trophies or praise from our narcissists. We were often either ignored or laughed at. Being praised is essential to growing up.
A deep THANK YOU for this video!💯🙌 This is SPOT-ON & EXACTLY what I needed!!!.. 😅 Much like I'm sure a lot of us here, Id reached the point of feeling abandoning MYSELF was the only way to protect myself, and had began "repelling down that cliff." I am SO THANKFUL I found THIS video while I was still close enough to pull myself back up. 🙌 MANY THANK YOUs to you!!! (I sent you a more detailed message on IG.)
I needed this. 3 months out and I’ve been torn to pieces. Disconnected from myself and very determined to change almost every part of me in order to attract better. I simple cannot imagine being with somebody else like my ex husband. I would legitimately lose all hope. So i think the answer for me was - okay - be everything you weren’t ? And be the opposite of who you were. And you’ll attract the opposite. I so badly want to reinvent. I guess this video had good timing.
Kevin your talks mean so much to me!!! It is so empowering! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!! Just exactly what I need right now in my life! God bless you! 🙏🏻
Wow what a powerful and helpful message!Thank you so much for listening to the leading of the Holy Spirit because this was exactly what I really really needed to hear and your wisdom and perspective with the biblical emphasis in the message. it lined up perfectly with my situation. Thank you so very much for this wonderful message! I pray that the Lord will help me to have discernment to give my gifts freely and abundantly to those who The Lord may have me to invest in to others. I know that my last marriage physical touch in any sort of touch as a love language and affection was always shut down and withheld and not invited at all so it felt like it crippled or paralyzed that part of me that was my strongest love language for the last 12 years so I’m trying to re-learn how to use that since it was paralyzed from my ex-husband. just because he did not desire any sort of physical attention or physical touch doesn’t mean others do not desire and seek or needed. I have to overcoming the mental paralysis of being married to my ex that he caused so I can give my gifts to others without the fear and feelings of rejection. thank you
The bible says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. It also says where there is envy, bitterness, jealousy, etc. .......there is every evil at work. There is evil living inside narcissists.
I will Never forget a long time """friend"" Saying: "Can you be a little less You" and then Immediately trying to PRETEND remorse. Passive Agressive much. I Have found myself ""watering me down" this past year esp. Has been devastating. I Wish I had ""met"" YOU a Long time ago .. But am Grateful for this knowledge, awareness and Hopefully I'm getting Me back.
Your right !! And I've put a plan into place to line up a job in another state. I've come to the end of this nonsense. Yes criticized for even using the microwave. Dumb crap on a daily basis. Laughed at for hiking a hill. Thanks Kevin
I find a lot of victims morph into something quite narcissistic….it begins by them telling themselves that they are empaths, then that they were chosen because of their perfect soul, their empathic souls are better than others, their empathy shines and attracts people, they have more gifts than others blah blah. It is a load of nonsense.
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
Casting pearls among swine is what you are talking about. Your gifts are enough when you’re equally yoked.
The jealous narcissist wants to squash your God-given gift and any other good thing that you have in your life. Take your eyes off the narcissist and focus on yourself and the good people who deserve your attention.
Narcissistic abuse will mould you into what the narcissist needs you to be, to keep you as their source of supply. You need to hold on to yourself and your reality, to remind yourself of who you are.
❤
Truth !!
I had to rediscover my self, as a daughter of a covert narc mom. I found out that she is a narc at my 52.
And become better 💝
Great point about how you can lose yourself. "Hold on yourself" is the phrase I used when awakening to the conclusion that I was in a worsening situation.
With some EX-friend and all 3 EX-siblings, I reversed my NO CONTACT decision. Only to experience devaluations not too soon back into it.
I don't want to throw an egg at my face again for the disappointment that I felt for not making my NC a permanent decision. (In my mind I had, but too bad I didn't stick with the original plan... I forgive myself, but I'm not going to make the mistake of forgiving them again.)
"You don't want to re-invent yourself..." Thank you, thank you, thank you🙏🙏🙏
It is spot on. Since when I got massively crushed by my narcissistic family, I self-sabotaged myself to the extent that I myself do not recognize me, been transformed into a bitter, introverted, negative and lazy person
Let's get the strength to be ourselves again! Let the only change we make going forward is to LISTEN to our instincts, to EXIT after a significant red flag, and to FIND the tribe we are meant to be with
"...to FIND the tribe we where meant to be with." 😊
@@oceanaoushn8803 yess
Exactly! I need to find my 'tribe'. Seems a difficult task, when you come to realise the world seems over populated with narcs and similar, but that is just the Enemy whispering in your head to keep you isolated. They are out there, we now have eyes to see and we can now spot them, we can sort the wheat from the chaff, instead of keep trying to make a square peg fit into a round hole.
I love it..your absolutely right ✅️
BOSTON ☘️
Thank you!
2024, can be the year we all embrace our authenticity, separate from all toxicity using healthy boundaries. God bless us all.
So spot on. Omg 😮. At last I have found my voice again. Singing. Preaching prophesying. Laughing etc.
I feel sorry for the those who accepted less than bare minimum for years. Thank God I am no longer that stupid
:( I don't think I'm stupid. No more than I ws stupid before I Learned how to drive a car.
Ya the sex thing..now we have none..its been 6 years..I dont even bother to put on makeup or heels or anything that's "to feminine" it makes him feel better .he never told me I had to change..he just implied it
It's like he wants granny kisses instead of passionate kisses..I thought it was how he felt on a temporary basis like he just wasn't in the mood
But the he told me to "slow.down" as if I was being to aggressive instead of sexually interested and open
Over time I was shamed and just closed myself off..neither one of us even tLk about it
We don't fight he isn't cheating..but there's no intimacy..at all..I feel like his.mother or sister..which is
EXACTLY what he wants..isn't it?....GREAT😢..BOSTON 🍀
I really love all your talks these narcissistic people let us hate our kindness hate our affection always Sad lose our smile god help us thanks again ❤
Oh my goodness, this hits me so deeply. He told me I was “too mature” and criticized my love of peace, classical music, mature communication, love of writing, everything - all because I wouldn’t praise him through every binge drinking or five-hour tv watching session. Thank you for this.
Great advice! I bought a mini schnauzer, and cut off my internet to twice a week at most. It was the best thing I did because I found myself attached to the computer loosing even more precious time than I did with toxic relationships. Perhaps I was part of the toxicity. I believe so. Everything in moderation. With a trait such as doing anything to much, I had to look at myself and be selective about what I do online, and not loose track of time. Thank you for your videos, and coaching. Rare talent indeed in a You Tube world of abnormal human behavior enthusiasts.
I remember saying to God one time... Lord...toughen me up...help me to have thick skin to the point where I don't have to feel so deeply therefore overcome and protect myself from abuse. And god replied...no no no... NO. I wouldn't change anything about you. You're absolutely perfect exactly as you are!
This is exactly my story. I am a University professor. I consider my self beautiful, kind and sexy woman. I wanted to love, to laph, to be kind, to have deep conversations, to talk about science, meaning, purpose....to be loved and respected and cherished. All of this was rejected by my narc. I felt so unloved. All he wanted was a cook, to wash clothes and be a figure, a submissive doll, who will say: yes all you say Sir.
Don't call him my narcissists. Instead use the word the narcissist to create distance from the monster.
You have a point there.
your spot on! Its time to stop being naive and gullible
I really appreciate that you’re using scripture and sharing about your faith more ❤ Thank you!!! 🤓
Yes, I like that faith aspect, too! 🙏
Gifts of Joy is a BIG ONE! Because you become so self conscious of not giving too much. I'm bubbly and somehow I feel like I get treated like Im stupid when I am not but I do think more creatively. 🎉
Was just about to become a hardened weirdo. ❤
I noticed that the people that I treat the best take me for granted.
I needed to hear this message. I love in an intense way that is different from how others love. I was thinking about just burying that part of me so I wouldn't get hurt again. You pointed me in the right direction. Instead of burying that part of me, I need to decide if a certain person even deserves the way I love. If he doesn't, move on to a man who does. Thank-you.
Amen.. that's exactly where I'm at now... and 3 years later I have met a really good man. I had given up after going through the ringer (and still do at times) with my ex narc husband.... We share custody of our son, and if it wasn't for him I would have ZERO contact whatsoever from him. He brought out the fight and flight in me as I was a peoples pleaser who lacked how to set healthy boundaries previously .... now that I'm standing up for myself he can't handle it and has gotten uglier and more evil by the minute..... but I'm going to keep strong and let him be the end of his own demise..
We have to protect our peace!!
@@Mea_DS oh yes, when kids are involved, it's certain that they will be used as weapons by the narcissist. Stand strong and I am very happy for you that you found a terrific guy to spend your life with. You go girl!!!!!!!
@debbylee6329 thank you so much!! I'm still working through my triggers =/ and still 3 years into therapy but so glad to be on the other side.
You're absolutely correct. He is already trying to manipulate and use my son as a pawn smh. It's never-ending, and I'm doing all that I can to remove 50/50 and be the primary custodial parent. This is exhausting with him!
If you bury that part of yourself , they win. Instead , be committed to learn discernment!
Sending Lots of love your way and to everyone in this community trying to live a healthy life.
This had me crying. For the first time I felt understood. God bless you and thanks for sharing. You just freed me from years of self doubt and self loathing. I became ashamed of who I was and prayed that I could be different. You spoke to me directly. Its like you know my life experiences.
Thank you for not burying your talents ❤
I’ve been blackballed, rejected, plotted against AT CHURCH! No protection. Every game in the book has stopped me from singing. This is at every church! Every church! You can’t have multiple gifts…..people will reject you and tear you down if they don’t have it
EXCEPTIONAL AMOUNT OF TRUTH. POWER. SONG. EVANGELISM.MERCY. LOVE. SAVING. PROPHETIC. TALENT. FOCUSED. HONORABLE. POWERFUL. I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE TALENTS OF A WARRIOR. HATERS HATE N ARE JEALOUS
Having been born and raised in such a hellhole of a family, you will most probably not even know who you are, what you want or what your strengths and talents are. Let alone being capable of even imagining that you might have the right to do so. Also, as in my case, your talents will have been usurped and exploited to serve as feathers in your parents' hats rather than resources for you to explore, enjoy, and put to good use as you see fit. Which will have "stained" them for you, turned them into yet another source of misery for you rather than a place of joy and peace. Add to all that the CPTSD and general hopeless despair rearding yourself, humanity, the world, your place and perspective in it, and you're in for a most interesting journey indeed...
I was crying all through this message. I just don't even want to be around people right now. Im just too raw and my energy is so low. My cortisol levels are low throughout the entire day. Stage 3 of 4 for adrenal burnout in spite of taking an adrenal glandular supplement. Four times what most would take.
This is exactly how I felt for awhile.
Amen
Im not sure anybody needs love and relationship. Now people just want to use other people as objects.
You got that right, I dumped my whole persona and gender along with it! I'm actually super grateful to my ex narc for emasculating me sooo much, this girl was buried deep. I'm MORE grateful to my old self, though. He was so strong, he protected me, kept the real core of me safe from her, never let the dark clouds she summoned stop the love from shining out.
Absolutely 💯
Thank you, Kevin, today's lesson was very apt for me. I gave all my gifts away and none were appreciated or acknowledged. It makes you feel like shutting yourself off, like you say, 'burying' your gifts, your light, so as not to get hurt again. But also, it feels like the experience has hardened my heart. I need to remember my gifts, my light, my joy, my laughter and appreciate them for ME and not just keep seeking how I can give them away all the time.👼🙏
The gifts given are not those. Its your spirit 🎁 gifts. The most painful is being true. Genuine. Kind. Giving. And being tortured. It is there ABUSE.
Sincerely thank you. I think I understand. Like "radical acceptance" of the narcissist, it's now the right time to radically accept yourself to be on your way to joy and peace. Be accountable to yourself and learn each day. Build those muscles in your cerebral cortex.
Powerful and profound message. Thank you Kevin for investing in our souls!
Omg you just hit home👑
I've done that for years, after finally accepting all my identity does is cause me pain, when having to oscillate between that & being told my boundaries & standards are hurtful to others and unwarranted.
Sometimes it feels like there is no answer.
Thanks for the call to wake up, I'll try.
Equally yoked, that’s all i ever wanted! That’s all i thought i was signing for…If only for a year, a month, a day…is dreaming still something i can afford?
Be you, and know you are Loved. I think I know what you are saying. It is too late for me now, but God Loves me. ❤️
I am at this point. Thank you so much for this message of hope. I’m so tired of women using my gifts against me.
I enjoyed going to church singing on the worship team narcissists made me leave never want to go to church ever again. Having the head pastor hurt me I’m done with organized religion
Hang on to Jesus. The church is full of narcs. But keep on with the Lord 🙏
Thanks for your good advice, energy & passion.
I love being affectionate, but after narcissistic abuse it’s very hard to feel free & comfortable enough to trust yourself & others.
You're speaking to me. Looking for that hiatus and to shut myself off, to get alone and heal and leave men and certain people behind...but my gifts need to be used for the right person/people and to not let go of who I am and who God meant for me to be in THIS world. Really needed this message to put that in perspective. Thank you, Kevin.
I didn't know what that numbness was.
It only took 48 seconds into your video when I realized, I'm not reinventing myself, "I'm Rediscovering and probably discovering myself"! Going on 2 years this May that I left the narcissist for the last time. I've never been happier in my life!!! ❤🎉Happy, Blessed & Safe New Year Y'all !
Great video! Thank you for bringing awareness to this subject. We lose ourselves in carrying the narcissist's load. In recovery it is time to return the focus back to rediscovering ourselves.
Yes, I was critisized for all sensuality I have.
How very very true!
Very powerful and very positive message here..
Thank You 🙏
Amen❤❤❤
I find Christianity and following what Jesus modeled for us as a great guide. Forgive. Show kindness. Basically, the fruits of the spirit. Kris Reece YT has an excellent channel. I learned healthy boundaries and I have become the most authentic genuine person and at peace with Yahweh. Reparenting and protecting the inner child yet showing as much love and affection as I can to myself and those around me. Ive learned to tell the truth in love, when I see red flags in a person, I can peacefully approach the situation. Im a work in progress but Ive come a long long way.
Kevin, I really appreciate your insight. It resonates with me. The narcissists couldn't stand it when I was happy, affectionate, kind or loving. They hated when I achieved anything and would try to devalue it. They always acted as if something was wrong with me for being so loving. They took it for weakness until they realised they were cut off permanently. The normal people in my life received and appreciated these gifts while narcissistic and toxic people resent me for it. Remember Matthew 7:6. So I continued to be my authentic self with normal people and indifferent with narcs trying to gain access into my life without my consent. Like you said, we need to recognise who deserves our gifts and who doesn't. You're truly a light in a world of darkness.
Thank you. 🤗💗🙏
Kevin I am completely gob smacked. …. This is me… I sing…. I pray…. I’ve been gagged at my church….. small new church…… it’s very upsetting 😢
ROYAL WE❤, KEVIN HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET RID OF MY NATURE EMPATH. I LOVE TO LOVE AND SPOUSE HAS REJECTED FOR 3 YEARS. 😢 I FINALLY REALIZED THAT I NEED TO LIVE NOT ONLY SURVIVE. TY❤ I WAS STRUGGLING BUT I RECEIVED YOUR MESSAGE 😊. I AM VALUABLE. ENDANGERED NO MORE.
But now I am aware of everything, but I am 54
Well you are talkng Gods truth HE LED ME HERE ONCE AGAIN ❤
I've been dealing with narcissistic people ..many in my life ...this video WOW profound truth ...exactly what I am going through at this stage of my life ..this is truth and freedom...I finally realized I am not changing ..I did forget who I truly was till a few months ago and I am a sensitive loving person ...I had lost that everyone all my life ..Cindy's to sensitive etc ..nope I'll keep my soft loving heart ❤which almost became stone #43acceptance AMEN GOD BLESS YOU FOR THIS PROFOUND TRUTH ❤
My best days are ahead
Love it !!!! Your content is always so rich and precisely what I need to hear. I have been trying to do my best to rid myself of not one , but TWO narcissists people I am dealing with right now. I don’t know where to start, but the conclusion is they are trying everything they can to stay in my life ! I am not responding to their text and they are sending even more texts. Now they escalated to sending me money ( I am a single mom and currently unemployed.)
Even though this sounds good under different circumstances, I know this is a tactic of manipulation and they are appealing to my feelings of guilt, and feeling in debt. If I don’t thank them, then I will now become “ ungrateful .” Btw : one is a romantic ex partner and the other one is a female “ friend .” Both are full blown classic NPDs.
It’s moIt’s almost hilarious in a scary way , bc they are both exhibiting the same behaviors at the same time. I am doing my best to hold on and stay in my power , but it’s hard man’
Although very possible that I have what it takes !!!
So true, Kevin! I have reinvented myself so many times I don’t recognize myself at all anymore. I was so amazing before I came across these creeps.
Hugs 😊. You are going to be OK.
I can't even laugh around him without being made fun of. Haven't had an intimate experience in over 15 years. I just want someone that will appreciate me and show me some affection once in a while. I feel like I'm slowly being drained of the person I used to be.
I can confirm that everything you'r talking about is dead spot on accurate .
Awesome, very helpful episode! Thank you! It's been a very rough last five years relating to a narcissistic family member, most especially the past ten months. I've had similar injuries in my professional life. In the past ten months, the abuse has gone a long way in the direction of destroying me. The insights in this video will help me bounce back! Thank you!
It's slightly different for those with a narcissist parent. You have to reprogram in some instances because you are teed up, trained by the narc and it attracts others. You're also getting rid of the envy and negativity you were taught was right. On the other hand you have to have held onto the core of what you are just to stay sane, in some instances your individuality is extremely strong because you have had to fight for it. It's interesting you mentioned sexuality. You are pummeled during your most sexually vulnerable time, adolescence with the old switcheroo, you're some sort of dirty pervert one minute then a pathetic prude the next depending on what causes the most embarrassment. It does mess you up in an area you become highly unwilling to talk through. An extremely difficult area to deal with.
great video. Jay Reid talks about our never getting trophies or praise from our narcissists. We were often either ignored or laughed at. Being praised is essential to growing up.
A deep THANK YOU for this video!💯🙌
This is SPOT-ON & EXACTLY what I needed!!!.. 😅
Much like I'm sure a lot of us here, Id reached the point of feeling abandoning MYSELF was the only way to protect myself, and had began "repelling down that cliff." I am SO THANKFUL I found THIS video while I was still close enough to pull myself back up. 🙌
MANY THANK YOUs to you!!!
(I sent you a more detailed message on IG.)
I needed this. 3 months out and I’ve been torn to pieces. Disconnected from myself and very determined to change almost every part of me in order to attract better. I simple cannot imagine being with somebody else like my ex husband. I would legitimately lose all hope. So i think the answer for me was - okay - be everything you weren’t ? And be the opposite of who you were. And you’ll attract the opposite. I so badly want to reinvent. I guess this video had good timing.
Kevin your talks mean so much to me!!! It is so empowering! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!! Just exactly what I need right now in my life! God bless you!
🙏🏻
Wow what a powerful and helpful message!Thank you so much for listening to the leading of the Holy Spirit because this was exactly what I really really needed to hear and your wisdom and perspective with the biblical emphasis in the message. it lined up perfectly with my situation. Thank you so very much for this wonderful message! I pray that the Lord will help me to have discernment to give my gifts freely and abundantly to those who The Lord may have me to invest in to others. I know that my last marriage physical touch in any sort of touch as a love language and affection was always shut down and withheld and not invited at all so it felt like it crippled or paralyzed that part of me that was my strongest love language for the last 12 years so I’m trying to re-learn how to use that since it was paralyzed from my ex-husband. just because he did not desire any sort of physical attention or physical touch doesn’t mean others do not desire and seek or needed. I have to overcoming the mental paralysis of being married to my ex that he caused so I can give my gifts to others without the fear and feelings of rejection. thank you
Kevin.... You left me speechless.... Again.... Thank you! It's priceless..... You made my day.... ❤
Thank you for this ,
The bible says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. It also says where there is envy, bitterness, jealousy, etc. .......there is every evil at work. There is evil living inside narcissists.
Appreciated hearing this today..
Thanks, Kevin. ❤
It's the self-rejection which hurts the most.
Thank you, so true 💯 Blessings ✨
This was a very good point! Radical self acceptance is the solution.
Good morning and God bless Kevin! Thanks a million!
I will Never forget a long time """friend"" Saying: "Can you be a little less You" and then Immediately trying to PRETEND remorse. Passive Agressive much.
I Have found myself ""watering me down" this past year esp. Has been devastating.
I Wish I had ""met"" YOU a Long time ago .. But am Grateful for this knowledge, awareness and Hopefully I'm getting Me back.
no one have ever complimented and approved me like you just did thank you
Thank you so much! "We" needed this....
Your right !! And I've put a plan into place to line up a job in another state. I've come to the end of this nonsense. Yes criticized for even using the microwave. Dumb crap on a daily basis. Laughed at for hiking a hill. Thanks Kevin
Wow I'm gonna watch your channel every day before I go to work and after my shift .i will not give up my best gifts from God ❤✴🥰💥💫🙏🏻🎉 Thank you!!!
I'm in it, but I'm not going to let it destroy my gifts 💗 God has a plan, and I look forward to the journey... With or without
Amazing brother. This is a straight 100. Roger that and then some.
Thank you, Kevin. You are a blessing!
I find a lot of victims morph into something quite narcissistic….it begins by them telling themselves that they are empaths, then that they were chosen because of their perfect soul, their empathic souls are better than others, their empathy shines and attracts people, they have more gifts than others blah blah. It is a load of nonsense.
Thank you. Haven't watched yet but just the title is so appropriate. Watching now. 🎉
Thank you for this message! I appreciate your message very much!
My narc mom was also not very happy about my sexuality.
Hi my dear brother ! This is one of your best videos . Thank you for being such an inspiration. Love Smadsr
You have totally been on an amazing roll of so many great videos ❤ Thank you!
Thank you. That was great advice. I have no safe online access.
This for me too Kev , inspired and well said🎉
I've been doing everything that your saying you don't have to.
I really needed to see this today. Thank you again.
Yes! This was a message of hope to me.
Thank you for this message. 🥺
Thank you Kevin!!! 😊
Truth
Amazing
Thank you Kevin
Wow. You are amazing ❤