I don't wanna be here anymore
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- This is not a love poem unless you want it to be
🔰Support me on Patreon: / illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗 / _illneas
🔗 / illneas
🔗 / illneas
🔗open.spotify.c...
Second channel
🔗 / @akidwithacameraorjust...
🔰Communities
- / discord
- / 2314655172176122
- / searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Iness J
Her email.
🔗ijprojects.side@gmail.com
-The music was created by Mayday
linktr.ee/mayd...
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰I don't wanna be here by illneas
Poetry
Existentialism
And your eyes that reflect the worlds you saw
You said "coming with me is a decision"
Even though we both know that the chemical reactions in my head
won't allow me to choose
Programmed by my upbringing I deluded myself that free will exists
Temptations masquerade themselves as feelings and
words cut like razors through my skin
The unexamined life is not worth living
However, I have trouble sleeping at night
I need to get out of this place
But the stubborn illusion of fate won't leave me alone
Why am I thinking like this?
Dilated pupils
Short breaths
And the audacity to try and quantify my feelings
I tend to lose the point in-between
This is maybe why I need you
I remind myself that life is about perspective
And my feelings are the result of a story I told myself
Or maybe you told me to tell myself
Words masquerade themselves as feelings and
temptations cut like razors through my skin
What about you?
Do you just feel things?
Like all the other humans we used to mock?
Do you just act based on your emotions?
If I knew the exact reasons I feel this way about you
Would I still feel this way?
If I don't care about what you think of me
Then why does it hurt so much?
The chaos around me
Is tired of me trying to figure it out
And patterns start to emerge through the shadows
I'm lost somewhere between
Poetry
Existentialism
And your eyes that reflect the worlds you saw
Maybe they also reflect the worlds ahead of you
all I know is that
"I don't want to be here anymore"
You smiled and said
"then come with me"
"If nothing saves us from death, at least love should save us from life."
Pablo Neruda
This channel is one of the first thing that made me fall in love with poetry. Because of it I started to read more and more poems and at one point I started to write texts myself and i found a passion in Wich i discovered myself. Thanks to this channel:))
Coool, this is definitely something nice to read in a Sunday morning! Congrats :))
I'm so happy to read that, take care friend
are you vietnamese ?
“I had two longings and one was fighting the other, I wanted to be loved and I wanted to be alone”
~Jean Rhys
Love this quote ❤️
I haven’t heard this before, thank you! That embodies how I feel. I want to love so deeply and so intensely, but I cannot comprehend how to love or even wanting to be with someone. It’s a purgatory of loneliness, but at the same time, happiness within the solitude.
Wow feels good to finally know am not alone:)
Somehow something just clicked in me as I read this
I am trying my level best to make my desire to be alone conquer my love for being loved.
I found a way in nature...alone gazing at the stars, i don't think face mortal face would light me up as a shooting star does..
Only problem is....I am 22.
"The chaos around me is tired of me trying to figure it out" This particular part stood out for me. I think it's perhaps the reason why we get stuck so very often, some things aren't meant to be figured out, the complexity is what we need to understand and not simplify. Something's are complicated the way they are, and we must love them like that, or we don't. People, tasks, struggles, everything is a ball of threads interwoven in different patterns, trying to unlace them will leave us both tired.
love this analysis
"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering."
You have a bright future!
was that not from jordan peterson?
👍👍👍
I realised this after reading Victor Frankl, he was able to survive the Nazi concentration camps by finding meaning even amidst the misery of the camp. He found that by finding meaning in their life an individual is able to endure and overcome their suffering.
Why do we need to find a meaning there are billions of humans and I have bigger priorities
Recently I've been feeling like this and it's horrifying as how accurate someone else's words can be for me. The way you put these feelings in words is just beyond amazing. Thank you for always comforting me through poetry and your impeccable videography. Keep going internet friend!
Exactly, this beautiful art is so alike to what's going on in our lives, and you, your camera and editing is marvellous.....
Just love it ☺️
Awww that's so sweet, thank you so much
I know. I know. It's gonna be okay.
Yep
Isn't is beautiful and shocking that someone unknown can know you very well but not someone who loves you or you love
No definitely you're not the 'kid with a camera' anymore... This is a piece of art. Keep going dude.
heheh still a kid
I honestly don't wanna be here anymore....
sometime I feel the same but I remember I read somwhere something like '' we all die one day, all of us , no excuses, no exceptions but not all of us know how to live...so i guest this is our chalange (learning how to live and to love yourself)
devika ?? what is you mother tongue how did you end up here !!!?????
@@Anettsky- thankyou for your kind words hopefully I can , maybe when the storm ends idk ;)
@@eternalkino34 probably as you guessed from my name I'm an Indian, malayali! and the second question ... idk the answer now I'm here..
@@devikae7087 maybe you watched "For Twenty Year Olds Who Have Never Been Loved" and decided to follow the channel
And yeah I am from Chennai and this is one fine channel
i rewathing this again, and again im fvcking crying
Wow, it's almost criminal how you put these feelings into words. Thank you for another thoughtful poem.
Curious to know what artists you look up to for inspiration, if any.
pls don't arrest me, thank you so much
I look to may things for inspiration, the painting on the thumbnail was one also the song Woolworm by indian summer
@@illneas 😂 wouldn't dare, need more of it , if anything.
@@illneas cool, thanks 💙
The line "cuts like razors through my skin" is so sharp
It's like a razor that cuts through my skin
Poetry admiralism. I love how connected words can make you feel with people who suffer or survive with corresponding feelings in matters of love. Eloquently written, intensely felt.
I’ve always had a fascination with poetry and this channel has showed me so many beautiful poems, some of which have become my favorites
Thank you for that moment
The colours, the violence and the softness of it is incredible .
Awwww you are too kind, appreciate you
Your level of artistry is just getting more and more wonderful! Been following you for years and this video really impressed me!
The poetry and music is amazing as always, but the footage and the transitions and the filters was so dramatic and perfectly done!
Great work, please keep it up 💕💕💕
Aww thank you so much for the comment and for sticking around
I feel pain 99% of the time. But the 1% I'm happy I'm watching your vids
Hey, have you tried getting professional help?
Not me hitting like even before watching the video cuz i am pretty sure it is outstanding as usual
The editing and the vibe of this video is new and unique!!! Great work
thank you for checking it out
Man! Everything about this video is perfect. I loved the narration so much! The videography is amazing, too. The music. Everything.
Pure art, Illneas.🌻
i find life overwhelming...so beautiful..yet so sad.making so many mistakes...a sadness in my soul i just cant get rid of.ty for this .
This is my new favourite. I adore your filming, editing and overall production. The scarlet tones blended with monotone truly enhances the presentation. My heart bled into your beautiful poem effortlessly. Her emotive narration speaks to my soul and the music is perfect. Profound work ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much T
wow your editing is getting better and better! your original pieces are so good
Wonderful as always! The music, the poem, even the thumbnail! Well done!
Thank you for the comment, please write more, create more, whatever you want. You are so talented pls
@@illneas thank you sm :‘) will definitely do!
«Existentialism is a humanism» Then come with me ...and let me hold your hand🎶
Disturbing red and black but soothing ending words. Talents💙
Powerful. Beautiful. Thank You.❤
This is so effortlessly beautiful fr 🫂
Men, the end give me shivers down my spine, i totally frozee, so great.
😊😊😊
yet again, one of ur most unique videos. thank u for this.
Appreciate Leyla, I thought of experimenting on this one
This channel is amazing at this art, every time I get wrapped in the velvet curtains of this exceptional poetry
I don't know how much I'll be able to think about this poem, but one thing I noticed and I'd like to share: The first shots in this video are of standing at a window, and it looks just like the end of the last poem published here. Only last time, we heard the words "At least I'm still breathing". And now the picture is violently stained with beaming red and this poem begins.
To me it reflects what I have felt, talking to my beautiful friend who suffered from depression. The days where she seemed to get better, talked to me, had a strong day. And I so wanted to believe that a better day means better days ahead, and next she was all getting much worse again. Worry. Wound.
I really hope all of you have a bright day. Or a bright moment between all the others.
You need an award for noticing this, I wanted the previous poem to make it in 2 parts and it changed on the last minute... But this scene transition stayed because it looked cool and I thought someone might notice it
I would love to do a voiceover for one of your videos these days, before I quit.
This was very good. Thank you!
Your poems are really good it brings some kinda clarity in my thoughts , sometimes its just a ball of hope , a reason to live again. It turns the mess in my head to a message , keep writing man really appreciate your works and words ."Being flawless starts with flaws"~me
awww thank you so much
Socrates, one of the most beautiful humans that ever lived.
Thank you.
I love the ending 🖤
Amazing as always.
This channel and work have value and worthy of subscription and thanks.
Damn thank you
I started writing poems recently..🙂
Omg have fun
@@illneas I'm having so much fun...thank you bro..☺️☺️
“This shit hard” - me
for real, man
perfect like always i wish i could describe it with words:))
This was beautiful ❤️
Ooowee this promises to be a good one ☝🏽 I’ve already set up a notification…😁
You shot me again man...
Thank you for this, I appreciate your hard work
Thank you mate
I don’t live, I just destroying time
“I am there in your hearts.
Continue living until the day,
I will be forgotten or ripped away,
But, will it happen? I don’t think
Because you will keep me company”
-by me for those who have troubles.
Please continue this I guess.
So that those who have a trouble
Will have a power
To go through any lower
Case of death
Of their loved or one
Who was their closest friend.
showed this to my mum and she started to tear up :,)
Aww that's so sweet, tell her I say hi
Darling brother, you have really outdone yourself this time! Mind-blowing! Much love and adoration! 🤗
Thank you so so much 🥰
This poem put all my chaotic thoughts into words, something very difficult for me to do
I'm sure you can if you try😊
Absolutely beautiful ❤️
I was advised by my colleague in 2003 not to pursue further study on this subject . According to her it engulfs people. I think that I listened to her. But still it's one of my favorite subject.
what subject?
@@illneas hello. I have passed MA in English literature. She advised me not to study or pursue Existentialism beyond text. Thank you. Applause for what you do. With great admiration and regards,
Sincerely and respectfully
@@TabassumTahminaShaguftaHussein thanks for clarifying, many subjects can engulf you I think however we all love to sail forbidden seas
@@illneas I agree. Sometimes people like to be engulfed. I do respect your work. Would you mind doing video on Theater of Absurdity. From Samuel Beckett to Harold Pinter. Don't you think our lives are just like Waiting For Godot.
Regards to the best,
Sincerely
@@TabassumTahminaShaguftaHussein I'm currently doing videos on my poetry, it's more fulfilling this way
I guess we are all waiting for someone who take us away. Or perhaps our soul just wants to return to Allah and our mind is trying to figure out that desire.
I want to live a FairyTale in a different place if only for a little while. Find that person I've never found...... I don't want to be here. I want to be there if only for once.....in a lifetime.
Don't wanna be here anymore ❤️
This is so beautiful. But can you please put the narrator louder than the misic. Some parts are difficult to hear. Thank you for this amazing content
Love, tears hearts
I don't wanna be here anymore,
I have troubles being in places where there are many people,
You said that my eyes reflect the worlds I saw,
I was rejected by the only women I loved,
Because I was a child who does have money she said,
After that I stopped pursuing women
Girls who I was their crush I rejected them
My friend said why not use your so called being handsome and changes these women like undies
I said that handsome-ness is meaningless to me if it can't get me to places where I want to go,
If I knew the consequences of being a writing would I have chosen it ?
Who will be chinaski to me? Who will be illneas to ? What will I be doing now, the direct confrontation and the plagues , problems of living have provided me uncertainty, I'm pessimist about existence,if life has no meaning then why should me live it, Mass suicide we can go I have been ready since yesterday,
Who do you have? Are you friends really your friends? Does your girlfriend love you or she's using you to keep her companies until her prince charming comes,
Are you a failure? Are you a winner but your not satisfied? Do you have anger issues? Have u lost something precious? Are you a virgin in your 20(s)? Do you have girl that is supportive,that is not exploiting you until you run dry and after she will run to the guy she madly loves,
Do you pray? Do you believe in God?
Do you believe in Satan? Heaven or hell your choice, grade 12 is making me anxious,
I forgot I am a(
You made me dig deeper, I am a better poet because of this channel...Duane H.H. Lyon
❤️❤️
Existentialism
Freewill doesn't exist
Choices are only the things we interact with...
But what is this world but a mere point in time
Then enjoy it, like you would any other.
Hey what happened to the previous narrator tom o bedlam? Is he okay?
R you okay bro?
매일 매일 하는 생각들. 많은 infj들이 공감할 듯
Could I use this on a TikTok?
Yo op you gotta step up you marketing somehow , more people need this . Infact fuck Spotify and shit like that , people need THIS more than songs and tunes
Do you have any ideas on how to step it up, because I'm already trying my best being just a guy studying in university from Greece.
Hi, just to say that, if you have any problem, talk to someone, you can always find happiness
Take care of yourself 💜
amazing. would love to collaborate with you.. have my words on top of your videos
🥲
👍👍💙💙
It seems that YT as censured your video on suicide even if it had over 4 million views. Hope this corporatocracy end soon.
This is filmed in Greece isn’t it.
Yeappp
I am currently in Greece! Haha
@@zoehayash7581 hope you are having fun
@@illneas I am! Thank you
I've decided I'm going to quit my job tonight and I get this notification "I don't wanna be here anymore", yeah Universe I heard you well
EDIT : done. Thank you for this chanel
Damn good luck fren and take care
No longer recognize the place that I call home
I don't want to be here anymore I know there's nothing left worth staying for Your paradise is something I've endured, whoa whoa See I don't think I can fight this anymore, I'm listening with one foot out the door But something has to die to be reborn And I don't want to be here anymore Anymore
-Rise Against
Sounding sucide 2 me
Poor quality content.
you are such a kind person
@@illneas You are a mature person to react that way.
@@Forit26 I forgot about this, I wasn't mature, I was sarcastic next time my response will be more mature
@@illneas ah😅, well atleast you realized, and want to change, that’s maturity.
Aren't poems supposed to have a rhythm
The narrator's voice, and the music is part of the rhythm. The words themselves have a rhythm which resonates in your heart ❤️
Poetey is words with rhyme it's not realted nor to music nor the meaning so that can't be called poetry
I hope you are ok, I wish you all the best😊❤
You too fren
“then come with me” made me burst in tears, i hope that one day someone would say the same thing to me and i hope that they would loved me the same way i hated myself, i hope that if the person will come they won’t leave me because of who i am instead they will love me for the way i am. that is what i needed the most.
Take care friend, better days ahead
“Love me the same way I hate myself” WOW 🥺 that hits me SO hard. Thank you for sharing 💛
I also thought that. She said she would do exactly that. I kinda hate how i fell for that
"programmed by my upbringing... patterns..." these ring so strong through the physical... That's why many don't wanna be here anymore... Wanna escape to be free... To almost live another kind of free suffering... Strange to say but that's how it feels. Amazing work! ✨
I'm glad that it was relatable, despite my nerdy approach on feelings
@@illneas ✨
Each time a poem touches mysoul like this I feel like it’s like a candle lightened inside….
Thank you once again ❤️
We will always be here because as a thief once said to a police officer when caught red handed; “we all gotta be somewhere”.
He was asked “what do you think you’re doing here?”
Maybe poetry is one's desperate attempt to reach out to another lonely soul in a world that went quiet.
… “and your eyes that reflect the worlds that you saw”…this got me… a person’s eyes tells you exactly what you need to know. Brilliantly done . You are becoming a master at what you do…. Never stop… never give up💖
a picked up that phrase from a friend
wanting .......not wanting
but still the mote of dust dance in the ray of sunlight
This hits home. I've resonated with the above topics and feel this way often at night. I applaud your wonderful skills, bringing the beauty of poetry to the screen, coupled with beautiful imagery and captivating music. I would love to collaborate with you one day!
This is already my favorite! Even though it is not out yet!!!!!. Lol 😁😌
After this video the youtube algorithm suggests me videos with Christian content
😂
Amen
Where do I start? This video is wonderful! The colors and images chosen, the atmosphere, the mood and the effects are just beautiful. The music to this very appropriate and rousing. As if that were not enough this masterpiece of a poem. I will watch this video very often and always discover new aspects in it. Thank you for all the energy and love you share with us
Awww I'm rewatchable that's such a compliment
It is crazy how many people can relate, even myself... yet I feel so alone with my thoughts... It is just so hard...
Take care fren
i loved this line
Maybe they also reflect the worlds ahead of you
all I know is that
"I don't want to be here anymore"
You smiled and said
"then come with me"
🥰🥰🥰
Where will we go, you take me heavenly somewhere, as all wish might be fulfilled there. 🌌💫
the poetry + the voice +the visuals + the background music slowly grasped my mind and it puts me in awe every time 🍁
Aww 🥰
I've already left.. Not coming back!
I wait for your new videos like I'm waiting to take a deep breath. You so exactly capture the plethora of unexplainable feelings so many of us have. You nail it EVERY time!!!
You are too kind, thank you so much
This is one of my Favourite illy video i must say...& i feel like you just wrote the lines that i wanted to say or i am feeling right now! So relatable 🌸
I'm glad I'm still able to produce things with meaning
I also want to go with you.....there's no room for me here anymore, there's nothing left of me and I just need everything to stop.
I love the whole piece. The film matched with the poetry, and the parts read with desperation. The last lines are a couple of my favorites...I don't wanna be here anymore...you smiled and said...then come with me❤
Thank you so much Carolyn ^^
Definitely one of your best if not the best.