The Question That Changed My Marriage...

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  • Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
  • The Question That Changed My Marriage...
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Комментарии • 1,4 тыс.

  • @naomimills7215
    @naomimills7215 7 месяцев назад +6015

    I've been married for 12 yrs. It snowed recently and after working all day my husband got home and immediately cleaned and shoved our porch and steps to the house. He laid down salt and told me to be careful. The small act of doing this without me asking made me feel incredibly loved and cared for. So later I made his favorite dinner and homemade cookies to show my gratitude. Serving one another is one of the keys to a happy marriage.

    • @jacquidanke1263
      @jacquidanke1263 7 месяцев назад +115

      I WISH I HAD REAL LOVE.

    • @chorizoramen93
      @chorizoramen93 7 месяцев назад

      ​@@jacquidanke1263 men are fundamentally selfish. You will rarely find this

    • @bonnieconzen788
      @bonnieconzen788 6 месяцев назад +108

      Right?!? Most of the time it is truly this easy. Give and take. ❤

    • @chorizoramen93
      @chorizoramen93 6 месяцев назад +61

      @@bonnieconzen788 it's not that simple when the nature of most men is entirely selfish and self serving

    • @relaxwithme__
      @relaxwithme__ 6 месяцев назад +30

      What a beautiful act. ❤

  • @XXLady
    @XXLady 7 месяцев назад +4540

    When men take it upon themselves to help keep the home clean - without the wife having to remind, nag, or beg him to do so - women remain deeply in love with their husband ❤

    • @charlespancamo9771
      @charlespancamo9771 7 месяцев назад +61

      it's not what you say, it's how you say it.

    • @XXLady
      @XXLady 7 месяцев назад +154

      ​@@charlespancamo9771 sometimes true. However, "honey, can you do xyz?" is often ignored.

    • @Yggdrasil1844
      @Yggdrasil1844 7 месяцев назад +85

      100%.. married at 16, 12 years of marriage later, the house just feels so warm and inviting, all the neighbourhood kids are always round 😅 it's just a really happy place, and my husband puts in the same effort as I, he is great:)

    • @bigNo13
      @bigNo13 7 месяцев назад

      Lucky you ​@@Yggdrasil1844

    • @maribelivorysosad8040
      @maribelivorysosad8040 7 месяцев назад +2

      😂Amen❤

  • @snuff2023
    @snuff2023 7 месяцев назад +1107

    Its SO SEXY when a man actually listens and then acts on things. even the things that seem so small can MEAN the biggest things to us ❤

    • @derrickpigatt5195
      @derrickpigatt5195 6 месяцев назад +7

      Yeah just wish there were more women who accept that after seeing it.

    • @anitawebster9450
      @anitawebster9450 6 месяцев назад +15

      Yes! It's ALL small things, but they make all the difference! 🥰My husband truly listens to me so many times & TRIES really hard, & that's better than flowers or jewelry, THAT'S Effort! 🥰

    • @virtual-viking
      @virtual-viking 6 месяцев назад +12

      As long as women actually _say out loud_ what they need. There are way too many who keep expecting men to be mind readers, despite consistent failures.

    • @nervosadustbolt9642
      @nervosadustbolt9642 6 месяцев назад +5

      Lmfao. That's all Marriage is ever about for Women. " Me, me, me and more of ME "

    • @aslofiasitcanget2945
      @aslofiasitcanget2945 6 месяцев назад +8

      It goes both ways

  • @ellanorevannin4147
    @ellanorevannin4147 7 месяцев назад +1345

    I told my brothers that before they get married they need to learn to clean up after themselves. A wife is not a maid.

    • @Smaugette
      @Smaugette 7 месяцев назад +65

      Yes because I'm tired of being a maid. I need an active team member, not extra baggage.

    • @davidbgooch9587
      @davidbgooch9587 7 месяцев назад +29

      I say the same thing to every female I've dated the last 10 years. It isn't just one sex it's both. Most everyone is just lazy this day and age

    • @FortheBudgies
      @FortheBudgies 7 месяцев назад +12

      why did your parents not make them clean up after themselves when they lived at home?

    • @ellanorevannin4147
      @ellanorevannin4147 7 месяцев назад +16

      @@FortheBudgies yeah I know right? They are the two youngest out of us six kids. My parents got slack with parenting when my little brothers came along.
      They still had them do chores but simple things like cleaning up after yourself were not implemented like how it was for us older kids.

    • @user-ph4nj1ds3n
      @user-ph4nj1ds3n 7 месяцев назад +4

      ​@@FortheBudgiesif you can't differentiate between being a child and an adult you're a lost cause...

  • @deniseball7764
    @deniseball7764 7 месяцев назад +2215

    It is amazing how much a lit front door and clean entry can make such a difference
    WOW 2k likes thank you everyone .... and nice to see so many of you feel the same

    • @Gemmarose9012
      @Gemmarose9012 7 месяцев назад +21

      I think it’s amazing someone needs to be told to turn a light on for their spouse.

    • @beesknees213
      @beesknees213 7 месяцев назад

      Indeed.

    • @fbbr3755
      @fbbr3755 7 месяцев назад +8

      Buy a Lutron and program the lights to be on at sunset -

    • @PinkPixie-km3jg
      @PinkPixie-km3jg 7 месяцев назад

      ​@@fbbr3755I think you missing the point of the little things he does to show his wife he loves and thinks of her.

    • @Mikyda3
      @Mikyda3 7 месяцев назад +7

      I would invest in outdoor timers or dusk to dawn lights.

  • @erikamohrmann7986
    @erikamohrmann7986 7 месяцев назад +560

    My mom did a lot of stress cleaning when I was a kid and I remember when I realized cleaning isn’t a chore mom gets mad at me for not doing, it’s a way to show her we want to take care of her and that we love her. Totally flips the script

    • @brandyk
      @brandyk 7 месяцев назад +16

      Yes and moms would do themselves and everyone a favor by explaining it this way even to children teens..so t just get mad at them n nah and make them feel bad. Or say they're sloppy..Explain the reason for a clean n welcoming home n the need for everyone to pitch in. You'll do yourself a favor n them.n.theor potential spouse one day..everyone has different standards of course so don't be too over the top..

    • @alyseceleste
      @alyseceleste 6 месяцев назад +9

      Love language acts of service

    • @RedNicole22
      @RedNicole22 6 месяцев назад +3

      I have explained this to my daughter, in one ear and out the other. She’s got her dad’s DNA, but I love her anyway. She’s a slob, and I get frustrated, but one day she’ll understand, when she’s the mom or wife, unfortunately just probably not while under my roof.

    • @bookwyrmneducator
      @bookwyrmneducator 5 месяцев назад +9

      ​@@brandykA lot of us do, but that doesn't mean it is heard or understood.

    • @PoetiqueMs
      @PoetiqueMs 5 месяцев назад +9

      I look at it as taking someone for granted. Yes, I am home, and I consider it my responsibility to keep the house in order. That doesn't mean that everyone makes me pick up after them. In the same way, my husband is the breadwinner, but that doesn't mean I spend money frivolously or selfishly. I show him respect by using his hard earned money wisely.

  • @fnffnchfhc154
    @fnffnchfhc154 6 месяцев назад +376

    My dad always opened the front door and greeted us when coming home from school before we even reached the door. Everyday. You never forget that feeling

    • @abigailsmith5279
      @abigailsmith5279 3 месяца назад +14

      Saying goodbye and greeting hello when someone comes in is a great feeling.

    • @user-yb7jr8wi7r
      @user-yb7jr8wi7r 2 месяца назад +3

      Yes right thanks for sharing ❤

  • @annahayes4609
    @annahayes4609 7 месяцев назад +243

    A marriage should be a partnership that makes each other feel safe and comforted ❤

    • @k.popper2620
      @k.popper2620 4 месяца назад +5

      Yes that is the way it should be unfortunately it isn't always the way it is.

    • @tigertail1056
      @tigertail1056 3 месяца назад +2

      I asked my husband if he could pour coffee in my coffee cup for me sometimes....not once... in 10 years could he do something nice for me...not a birthday card....not once...no Christmas card, or gift ...I was used for money, & got very sick with cronic disease.

    • @georgeholiday6237
      @georgeholiday6237 Месяц назад

      The sky is blue.

  • @RobbieMelvin
    @RobbieMelvin 7 месяцев назад +477

    When I got home tonight from work my husband opened the gate and the garage door so I could back all the way in without having to stop. He let out the dog to come greet me. My adult son had cleaned up the kitchen and put everything away. Makes for a relaxing evening after a long day and frustrating traffic. Very thankful both for their thoughtfulness, and for the hard work husband and I have put in over 20 years to understand each other’s priorities.

    • @brendaamaya3218
      @brendaamaya3218 7 месяцев назад +4

      Wow!

    • @MsJoyce31202
      @MsJoyce31202 7 месяцев назад +3

    • @maxe381
      @maxe381 6 месяцев назад +4

      I love this!! PLEASE express to them, verbally, how much it means. Not saying you didn’t, but sometimes we forget and those things lessen over time bc they aren’t acknowledged ❤️

    • @zombine7103
      @zombine7103 5 месяцев назад

      Give some to the husband ;) best time is morning.

  • @Jiujitsureview
    @Jiujitsureview 6 месяцев назад +20

    This is hands down one of the best shorts I’ve ever seen being a husband.

  • @debbiedavis3740
    @debbiedavis3740 6 месяцев назад +97

    I had cervical cancer in 2000 hubby took care of me & our home. From that cancer treatment 8 years later I had a kidney removed in 2008 my hubby was a great support in taking care of me and our home. I’m 2016 from same radiation from cancer treatment I lost my bladder and have an urostomy. Hubby again stepped up took me and home duties in hand. Now today 2024 due to the same cancer treatment radiation 24 years ago my remaining kidney had 5% removed for developing cancer and now I’m on dialysis this man for 24 years has been the greatest husband & provider. It’s the little things your love does for you that makes the difference. We’ve been married 42 1/2 years and he has not once gave up on me. That’s love true love when you go through the hard times and come out loving each other more ❤

    • @Rare-Jewels99
      @Rare-Jewels99 2 месяца назад +11

      That beautiful, so glad he didn’t give up on you b/c when life gets real tough, those that you love are then ones we rely on to get us through these tough times

    • @mangafq8
      @mangafq8 Месяц назад +1

      Just curious, what do you do for him?

    • @daypeanut4406
      @daypeanut4406 Месяц назад

      ​@@mangafq8 Love him, I'm guessing

    • @HeyitsTaylorXOXO
      @HeyitsTaylorXOXO Месяц назад

      Sending BIG hugs 🤗 love and prayers 😘💜💕

    • @missypoo8545
      @missypoo8545 Месяц назад +1

      Wow your story of love is what we all look for but some of us never find. You are truly blessed, your husband took your marriage vows seriously. If you ever had a question if he loved you, he has proven it to you. May God continue to bless your union.

  • @sleepyjoeb.8726
    @sleepyjoeb.8726 7 месяцев назад +398

    I don’t always know how to express my love for my wife. But, there’s little things I do that make her know. Every morning I get her coffee ready for her, when I travel for work I texted her good morning every day. I always answer her call every time when I’m out of town for work.
    There’s other little things I do, that she may not even realize I do because I love her.

    • @user-cf2hs6pk1b
      @user-cf2hs6pk1b 7 месяцев назад +17

      Tell her I love you… the three most healing words a wife/partner can hear/read. And hopefully she can do the same for you. Because we do so much for people but forget to say those three words. To our parents/kid’s/siblings… sorry I said too much! But what you do do is awesome!!

    • @chinneynz7861
      @chinneynz7861 7 месяцев назад +6

      Thank you!

    • @kariw.160
      @kariw.160 7 месяцев назад +15

      She realizes!

    • @moniqueengleman873
      @moniqueengleman873 7 месяцев назад +10

      Ask her deep questions and have intimate discussions

    • @sakitoby1581
      @sakitoby1581 7 месяцев назад +13

      I'm guessing she actually DOES realize. Your wife's a lucky lady, sir.Those little things are so important. When a man does things that show us they care about our happiness, our comfort, especially our safety, it literally releases chemicals within us that make us more devoted to you. No joke. God bless all you caring guys out there, and thank you for your efforts. ❤

  • @faithbasedliving9391
    @faithbasedliving9391 7 месяцев назад +346

    I grew up in a household where there was a lot of ignoring, yelling, and violence. I didn’t want that. My husband and I gave our lives to Christ and I know my children feel safe and loved every day they’re home. It has been so healing to provide that for them.

    • @jax4936
      @jax4936 7 месяцев назад +12

      AMEN 🙏🏽 ❤ Jesus is the best decision for your family 🙏🏽♥️💯💯

    • @sarahdoanpeace3623
      @sarahdoanpeace3623 7 месяцев назад +9

      That is amazing!

    • @lettersandwordsandstuffs
      @lettersandwordsandstuffs 7 месяцев назад

      ​@@jax4936cause if you don't choose him you burn in hell cause well....he loves you lol

    • @anon007_
      @anon007_ 7 месяцев назад +13

      amen jesus is the answer

    • @mb8219
      @mb8219 7 месяцев назад +9

      How beautiful !! May God bless you and your little family 🙏💙🙌

  • @mojo4369
    @mojo4369 6 месяцев назад +15

    I asked my husband how it feels when he drives up to the house and the lawn and lanscape is neat and cared for by the gardener. He said "obviously it feels great to see it look nice and that I don't have to do it." I said "well whenever I look around our hone and there's messes everywhere, I dont feel great, and I don't have a maid. He seemed to finally be able to hear that.

  • @chicken
    @chicken 6 месяцев назад +16

    A clean and tidy home can make all the difference in creating a peaceful and loving environment. Showing love through small acts of service and thoughtfulness is key to a happy marriage.

  • @susansmith493
    @susansmith493 7 месяцев назад +127

    The home should be a peaceful respite. Do everything in your power to make it so. This doesnt apply only to physical things like tidiness ... it applies to attitude as well.

  • @BevLockhart-zo8lh
    @BevLockhart-zo8lh 7 месяцев назад +130

    I make sure my bed is made and dishes done before I leave my home every day! How comforting to walk in the door and 😊 it's more welcoming than walking into a mess! Peaceful. Restful.

    • @yves2694
      @yves2694 6 месяцев назад +1

      Bev You should pull the bed covers right back to let it air out all day. 🙏🏻

  • @bettyc.parker-young1437
    @bettyc.parker-young1437 6 месяцев назад +41

    Marriage is taking care of each other. You are an extension of each other. Being thoughtful and respectful and loving and kind are the fruits of this beautiful relationship. ❤

  • @kaysussex4991
    @kaysussex4991 7 месяцев назад +14

    When a man does his bit towards keeping the home clean & tidy it shows a level of consideration towards his partner’s feelings which is very reassuring

  • @AutumnElaine
    @AutumnElaine 7 месяцев назад +50

    No Lights on at night makes me feel *so* Vulnerable! We installed sensor lights that turn on at dusk, and off at dawn.

    • @MrsBagels
      @MrsBagels 6 месяцев назад +3

      One of the things my husband did early on in our relationship that meant a lot to me was he put night lights allover for me even though when we met he preferred it pitch black but Im afraid of the dark and I told him I didnt want them because he likes it dark and he wouldnt accept that

    • @AutumnElaine
      @AutumnElaine 6 месяцев назад +2

      @@MrsBagels He sounds like a solid man. 🥰

    • @reneet5858
      @reneet5858 3 месяца назад

      ​@@MrsBagelsHe put you 1st.

  • @bn5202
    @bn5202 7 месяцев назад +73

    Its important to do those ''little things '' for each other....and also to show gratitude to your spouse for those things.

    • @virtual-viking
      @virtual-viking 6 месяцев назад +2

      As it turns out, the gratitude is the important part. Husbands like all people, do more of the things they are praised for and less of what they are scolded for. A man will quickly stop doing something, if he's told IN ANY WAY, that he's not doing it right. If something is 90% right.... for the love of God, don't nitpick about the 10% unless you prefer doing it yourself every time.

  • @kr5690
    @kr5690 6 месяцев назад +17

    Your wife is a lucky woman, because you let her know you love her by listening and doing what she asked of you. You want her to be happy. ❤

  • @mburns1679
    @mburns1679 7 месяцев назад +42

    With 4 of us, each Sunday was marked with a name. That person had laundry and kitchen duty for that week. We each had a night to cook anything. If i didn't like it, I made something else for myself.
    I told them the maid quit and won't come back. Started at age 11. As adult they know how to take care of themselves.

  • @arlenefisher4868
    @arlenefisher4868 6 месяцев назад +17

    It’s the little things that makes a difference.

  • @Zeena5400
    @Zeena5400 7 месяцев назад +41

    I live alone with my son and we have similar conversations. Nothing wrong with setting expectations to feel good at home

    • @mmommo10
      @mmommo10 6 месяцев назад

      nice

    • @stefg7611
      @stefg7611 6 месяцев назад

      👍Unmet expectations cause disputes.

  • @AllisonKhanAAK
    @AllisonKhanAAK 7 месяцев назад +19

    Good on her to say what she needed. And good on him for listening. Both mature choices. A spouse of 25 years who cleans up after himself and NO ONE else is still pretending he lives alone… 😮

  • @joyfulhomemaker8053
    @joyfulhomemaker8053 6 месяцев назад +18

    💯 my husband and I remind each other of these things… and watch your tone! There is a healthy way to bring this up!
    “When you do that, it makes me feel this!” (Try to keep it more positive.. for example, our kids help w laundry which means, they don’t handle the clothing like we would. When I make sure to find his work shirts from the laundry IMMEDIATELY and hang them nicely, he has told me, “these were hung w so much care that I almost cried. When I see my work shirts hanging nicely, it reminds me you care about me and respect the work I do for this family!”

  • @lisabassett-vp2wx
    @lisabassett-vp2wx 7 месяцев назад +58

    I agree with him. I am a single mom with kids that have car and if I am home in the evening, I turn on the porch light to welcome them home when they arrive after events or their jobs. They have observed my actions and if they are home first they will leave the porch light on for me when I get home in the evening.

  • @kathleenreyes4345
    @kathleenreyes4345 7 месяцев назад +19

    I love this idea…I’ll be sharing this with my hubby because “lights left on” is a big taboo for him but I’m like your wife…lights on not only are welcoming but they make me feel safe❤ Thanks for sharing!

  • @woodyreally
    @woodyreally 6 месяцев назад +13

    GOOD MAN! Thats what being a loving/supportive spouse is all about. Marriage isnt always 50/50 marriage is the spouse picking up where you slack and doing the same for her❤

  • @monikagonzales2658
    @monikagonzales2658 6 месяцев назад +17

    Dear Husband this is what every wife/partner dreams of how absolutely wonderful you stated it! It’s really that simple.

    • @nervosadustbolt9642
      @nervosadustbolt9642 6 месяцев назад

      No one cares. What about what the Husband wants?

    • @katiemadden9413
      @katiemadden9413 5 месяцев назад +1

      @@nervosadustbolt9642 ….no one cares?

    • @MagicToenail
      @MagicToenail 2 месяца назад

      @@nervosadustbolt9642She literally included men. Also, what do you mean “no one cares”?

  • @fruitytarian
    @fruitytarian 7 месяцев назад +56

    May God bless me with a peaceful, calm, loving home and marriage like this🙏🏾💕

  • @Katrn30
    @Katrn30 6 месяцев назад +6

    When both people are present in a marriage they care what it takes to make the other feel heard, and loved…

  • @RubyShelton-nf4mb
    @RubyShelton-nf4mb 7 месяцев назад +9

    I saw the interview you did with your wife and my respect for you as a man, a husband and a professional increased so much. This is special and shows how much you value her.

  • @michaelkurtz1967
    @michaelkurtz1967 7 месяцев назад +16

    Adults clean up after themselves and help the ones they love.

  • @wingabouts
    @wingabouts 6 месяцев назад +4

    I agree, but did you know for about $20 you can switch your porch light fixture to one with a day-light sensing feature? I have 3 of them that all come on at dusk and stay on through the night. I absolutely wouldn't have it any other way. The front of my house is always well lit. 😊

  • @jst2708
    @jst2708 6 месяцев назад +31

    I hate a cold bed & in winter I will get ready for bed & there is hubby sitting on my side of the bed warming it up. I slide into a warm bed & it feels like a huge, warm hug

    • @vigilantezack
      @vigilantezack 2 месяца назад

      I'm convinced half the reason women want a man is because he can act as her personal heater.

  • @melanconiasol102
    @melanconiasol102 7 месяцев назад +37

    Sad when that light shines no more 😢

    • @luck9837
      @luck9837 7 месяцев назад +4

      Well thats hella depressing lol

    • @BelovedbyAdonai
      @BelovedbyAdonai 7 месяцев назад

      That would be sad 😞

    • @danikeebler1662
      @danikeebler1662 7 месяцев назад +13

      The porch light on makes all the difference. My dad kept the porch light on for me until when had to relocate him to assisted living. He also walked me to the door when he could barely walk.

    • @fruitytarian
      @fruitytarian 7 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@danikeebler1662 that's bittersweet, a blessing to have such a loving dad 😢❤

    • @reneet5858
      @reneet5858 3 месяца назад

      ​@@luck9837People need reminding every so often that those they love so much don't live forever.
      It IS sad, when there's no longer the one you couldn't wait to get home to, is no longer there.
      I can tell you, when you become a Widow or Widower, the loss is not just one loss. It's a million little losses, all piled up.

  • @marigoldtrimborn697
    @marigoldtrimborn697 7 месяцев назад +19

    This is how I feel! She put in such better words than I ever have been able to! It’s like less stress bc when we see the mess & we know you didn’t clean it we have to & we are so tired working. I am not a clean freak but I’m working on being more organized & better so when I have kids I already have a system.

    • @kukuipupule4415
      @kukuipupule4415 7 месяцев назад

      Get me a sandwich..
      Blow me

    • @jocelynsmyth6604
      @jocelynsmyth6604 7 месяцев назад

      We're working on getting our place together too, and working together to make it happen. If you havent heard of Cas from Clutterbug, I really recommend that channel, it's helped me a lot

  • @ginamaples3571
    @ginamaples3571 6 месяцев назад +3

    SPOT ON... we all want to feel secure and safe... And sharing the workload at home is courteous.❤❤❤

  • @CG-dz9fl
    @CG-dz9fl 7 месяцев назад +35

    True, my husband's love language is a clean kitchen!

  • @Summer73343
    @Summer73343 7 месяцев назад +4

    Just like my husband and I . There is peace and reduced stress in having a warm , cozy organized home.

  • @willaknotts1298
    @willaknotts1298 7 месяцев назад +7

    You have a smart wife. I agree with her. Why does a grown man expect his wife to pick up after him? Its a huge sign of disrespect and probably his mother taught him that.

  • @christinesprague2845
    @christinesprague2845 7 месяцев назад +7

    Wow.. So amazing that you cared enough to do some things to make her life more bearable and she was able to know what to say. ❤ Great example to your kids in many ways🎉

  • @leesteele666
    @leesteele666 7 месяцев назад +10

    Beautiful ❤️ it's so nice that he understands the difference between a boy an a man being clean for your wife so true ..

  • @mandypdx
    @mandypdx 7 месяцев назад +26

    He should get smart lights and set them up to turn on automatically a at sunset

    • @laviniaterec3028
      @laviniaterec3028 7 месяцев назад +1

      That wont solve thé problem cause what she wants is to avoid bringing her lover home when her husband is there. Just kidding.😅...its a good Idea to feel safe.

    • @sakitoby1581
      @sakitoby1581 7 месяцев назад

      ​@@laviniaterec3028Savage 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @privacy3116
      @privacy3116 7 месяцев назад

      I can relate

  • @whereisthebeach8664
    @whereisthebeach8664 7 месяцев назад +9

    Having a man help clean the house without nagging or even asking is such an act of love and respect. It’s a simple thing that can go along way. I don’t get why it’s so hard for my husband to understand.

    • @nervosadustbolt9642
      @nervosadustbolt9642 6 месяцев назад +1

      Lmfao........................................................... No, it isn't. You're a little kid. " Oh, if he does my chores for me " then that is such love and respect, but if he doesn't do what I want, when I want him to do it.. I will throw a tantrum and keep nagging like a kid that wants a toy , but was told NO,

    • @Messy320
      @Messy320 5 месяцев назад +2

      @@nervosadustbolt9642who hurt you girl ? You are all over this comment thread and it’s embarrassing to witness

    • @thebestcat9601
      @thebestcat9601 5 месяцев назад

      @@nervosadustbolt9642You need counseling.

    • @Neoteny374
      @Neoteny374 5 месяцев назад +1

      It's not hard to understand, it's hard to do properly. A husband isn't as bothered by 'the little things' like the wife is. According to her, he can't do it well enough.

    • @rene3759
      @rene3759 4 месяца назад

      @@Neoteny374 keeping the home clean, hygenic is not little things and as an adult you should know how to clean up properlty after yourself. unless you have some development issues or werent raised right

  • @jennyeccles980
    @jennyeccles980 7 месяцев назад +18

    Exactly if you can see it clean it and if you don't you are adding to the billion and one jobs she has to do each week. ❤

  • @denise9412
    @denise9412 7 месяцев назад +3

    Spot on! ... Morals, Respect , Dignity, love the relationship your in, Accept the times when it's difficult and knowing that this is not forever problems and it can be resolved, Accept the beauty of the relationship, Understand each other. ❤

  • @chantaltestman6916
    @chantaltestman6916 6 месяцев назад +3

    Omg this is excellent advice to give to men. For the past year, I tried to get my husband to understand.

  • @jananabanana3180
    @jananabanana3180 7 месяцев назад +3

    Wow....whatta HEALTHY COMFORTING and LOVING approach to nurturing your wife....!!!😊❤

  • @lindatruax8319
    @lindatruax8319 6 месяцев назад +2

    WOW!! YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD HUMAN BEING!! A PARTNER MEANS LISTENING AND RESPECTING THINGS THAT IMPORTANT TO YOUR PARTNER!! PLEASE NEVER FORGET HOW IMPORTANT SMALL THINGS ARE - IT SHOWS HOW MUCH YOU LOVE EACH OTHER!! YOU'RE AWESOME!!!

  • @curtisgreenwood8846
    @curtisgreenwood8846 7 месяцев назад +3

    I love it. The consideration and love you show your wife is amazing!

  • @stefg7611
    @stefg7611 6 месяцев назад +2

    Your wife is a sweetheart and your both blessed to have each other. Thank you for your efforts in caring for her needs that otherwise would NEVER be fully understood. Your love story is a demo blueprint in teaching the world how to better love each other and to grow in knowledge of how much we ALL MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD WHEN WE TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THEY TRULY DO MATTER. VOICES OF THE FUTURE. GOD BLESS YOU ❤

  • @990free
    @990free 7 месяцев назад +3

    Wow! This is so simple ,yet so beautiful ❤ made my heart feel warm.

  • @neidefabri9517
    @neidefabri9517 6 месяцев назад +1

    Small gestures are the most effective ways to communicate your feelings to the person you love.

  • @jakhammer2634
    @jakhammer2634 7 месяцев назад +3

    All what he said and what you all said couldn't happen without caring and a little bit of communication and thank you at the end from both partners the little things..... Take good care of each other

  • @debramoss2790
    @debramoss2790 5 месяцев назад +2

    That’s love! Listening to her requests and responding openly without judgement is love. She needs to feel safe. Both things you listed make her FEEL safe. Congratulations for being a man who wants to grow in your relationship. I commend you!!!! ❤

  • @nata9832
    @nata9832 7 месяцев назад +3

    Please don’t be tired to say it again and again it will help a lot of couples to save their relationship

  • @equipforbattle
    @equipforbattle 4 месяца назад +1

    Absolutely, have the difficult conversations. Marriage isn’t always perfect, but how the two of you navigate the ebbs and flows is so important. It’s never too late to turn things around either!

  • @veeberlin9149
    @veeberlin9149 7 месяцев назад +17

    I think this this guy is amazing

  • @andreaviola8675
    @andreaviola8675 6 месяцев назад +1

    Your home should be a safe haven for ALL people that live there . Keeping it clean, beautiful and organized is respectful of the blessing of unity.

  • @IndigoMystik
    @IndigoMystik 7 месяцев назад +6

    Always leave a light on...

  • @clarezajac3276
    @clarezajac3276 7 месяцев назад +2

    It's crazy somebody needing to be told this. But you marry your parents and there's been so many toxic relationships over the years. It's like the 70s happened and something demonic came in to every home and every relationship. I thank God I found somebody amazing and like minded. It's almost like we can read each other's minds because we're on the same wavelength. Because we work together and I hope anybody reading this comment can find something like what I found ❤❤❤❤

  • @brendaconkling3762
    @brendaconkling3762 7 месяцев назад +4

    Lord Almighty! He gets it that it takes so little to be a loving partner

  • @kamanama3671
    @kamanama3671 7 месяцев назад +2

    two grown-up people who are in a extended relationship should already know and respect each other. Why is there any other behavior going on? Plain and simple!

  • @Oogadoog
    @Oogadoog 7 месяцев назад +20

    “Through tears”

    • @Here_Today_
      @Here_Today_ 7 месяцев назад +8

      That wasn’t just about the porch light

  • @rianamohamed300
    @rianamohamed300 5 месяцев назад +1

    Yep, absolutely. My son is a chef and comes home in the dead of morning. I make sure to keep the lights on, food warm, and stay awake till he is home. Small gestures have big meaning.

  • @DedeMattix
    @DedeMattix 7 месяцев назад +6

    This. Is. Beautiful. ❤

  • @mariabrown7422
    @mariabrown7422 7 месяцев назад +2

    Your a legend a wonderful wise man blessings to you sir ❤❤

  • @cmwHisArtist
    @cmwHisArtist 7 месяцев назад +4

    Sometimes when I hear hubby coming I sneak really close to the door with my arms out so that I’m a big hug blocking the doorway when he opens it.

  • @rachelsmiths7502
    @rachelsmiths7502 6 месяцев назад +1

    Dr John, it makes me so happy that you cleaned the piles as I know from personal experience how important it is for women, how peaceful it feels.Thank you!

  • @KG-zn5mq
    @KG-zn5mq 7 месяцев назад +30

    I deeply wish all husbands could understand this.

    • @minecraftcinnamongaming5474
      @minecraftcinnamongaming5474 6 месяцев назад +1

      It goes both ways

    • @The.Hawaiian.Kingdom
      @The.Hawaiian.Kingdom 6 месяцев назад

      @@minecraftcinnamongaming5474
      Certainly it should, yes, but for men a lot of the time they come home from work and their day is over the second they come through the door, but for women our roles as a wife and mother are 24/7 365, we’re “on call” our entire lives, we come through the door and we’re just clocking in for our second job.
      It’s a man’s house too, it’s his kids too, it’s his family too… why does he need to be told to pickup around the house when he gets home instead of waiting for his wife to get home & do it?! Or to cook, or wash clothes, or make sure the kids do their homework, or go grocery shopping on the way home, or to
      run the kids to their activities, or
      to buy snacks for the kids team when its your
      turn, or to sweep and mop and vacuum, or to give the kids their baths, or to make sure the kids clothes are ready and set out for the next day, or to make sure the kids lunches are prepped for the morning, or to make sure breakfast is prepped for the morning, or literally any of the thousand little chores we do on a daily basis that go unnoticed and unappreciated. These chores happen almost every single day for at least 18 years… so why do we need to tell them to do these things, to help out?! Why is it the wife/mother’s job and not both the parents?! Why are women shamed & made to feel like bad moms and bad wives, why are we told that our men would be justified in cheating or leaving if we can’t pull of this daily miracle, but the men face no accountability or responsibility in any of it?!
      So yes, it should go both ways, but realistically it doesn’t. So yeah, please tell us what we can do to make you feel loved and valued and cherished in your marriage, so we can add it to the ever growing list of things we already need to do… maybe we can fit it in between taking a shower (if we’re lucky enough to have time for one that day) and sleeping (again, if we’re lucky enough to have time for it that day).
      😒

  • @yvonne.stewart2745
    @yvonne.stewart2745 7 месяцев назад +2

    This is so touching. And little to ask. 😊❤

  • @elizabethyamada1779
    @elizabethyamada1779 7 месяцев назад +17

    Very simple ..very profound

  • @melodysanquist4834
    @melodysanquist4834 4 месяца назад +1

    Important to have a home your heart connects with. It creates balance in a stressful world

  • @hansmueller3029
    @hansmueller3029 7 месяцев назад +4

    Good training for a husband. As you both advance in your marriages and the inevitable processes that occur with time a husband will need to able to know what needs to done to make his bride feel secure, protected, at ease. You have to be able to take of her without her asking for a thing.

    • @rene3759
      @rene3759 4 месяца назад

      "training" ? excuse me? A husband should be a legal adult and as an adult you should know how to properly clean and how to work effectively and amicabily together with others. My 14 year old sister is a better roomate then some of these so called adult husbands. This is a joke. People have poor standards for themselves when picking partners and or poor standards of themselves on the skillas and qualities they should have. Domestic work is the bare minimum when living togheter if you dont want to do your part use your money to pay someone to do it for you. There are so many KINg baby men who cant clean after themselves but are the "MAN" of the house. ridiculous. My grand father and even great grand father new how to do all kinds of domestic work and child care did it from their own accord if they couldnt they hired extra help. This is the difference between a man being spoiled rotten as a boy and a boy who grew up to be a man and a partner raised right. empathy, compassion, intelligence, wisdom, skills (that are not only specific to the stereotypes of gender) creativity and enthusiasm in not only how to make your partners life easier but also make them happy

  • @Geordo1960
    @Geordo1960 5 месяцев назад +1

    That is absolutely true. You can show your love actively through things like this. Also, don’t underestimate preparing a beautiful meal for someone and spouses do this for us every day each single meal is an act of love.

  • @judithwinarski1480
    @judithwinarski1480 7 месяцев назад +6

    Yes your shoulders do drop when you get home and it is neat

  • @april8cb
    @april8cb 6 месяцев назад +1

    The little things, like a porch light being on, makes such a huge difference. It is so small and simple that most people wouldn’t even think about it but here’s the thing, if small details like that are paid attention to, there is a good chance that other “small details” are also paid attention to. When added up, really makes a huge difference and almost always the bigger things follow suit.

  • @focusedallday5620
    @focusedallday5620 7 месяцев назад +5

    I take it a step further and walk my girl in if I get home first. Stay Focused!

  • @SavoryPlate
    @SavoryPlate Месяц назад

    These conversations make all the difference!! The fact that you listened and accommodated your wife according is true love!!

  • @Rosiehillview
    @Rosiehillview 7 месяцев назад +4

    As a woman feeling safe is the first priority. Be aware women are strong but the real man needs to know that they are and do feel safe. Everything else will fall into place.

    • @MagicToenail
      @MagicToenail 2 месяца назад

      Everyone's priority is to feel safe.

  • @lauracofman7128
    @lauracofman7128 5 месяцев назад +1

    It's about the little things that SHOW you know her, love her, care about her

  • @mangafq8
    @mangafq8 7 месяцев назад +6

    Why would a person want to live in an unclean house- man or woman?
    Aren't there timers on lights as well?

    • @Mikyda3
      @Mikyda3 7 месяцев назад

      Exactly!

    • @MagicToenail
      @MagicToenail 2 месяца назад

      Not all lights have timers

    • @mangafq8
      @mangafq8 Месяц назад

      ​@MagicToenail but they can be installed❤

  • @HobbesnCalvin124
    @HobbesnCalvin124 4 месяца назад +1

    My parents ALWAYS had the porch light on when I was out. When driving home in a certain direction I could see it from 3 blocks away and it was like a warm hug. I ALWAYS leave the porch light on for my son.❤

  • @socorrocbenitez
    @socorrocbenitez 7 месяцев назад +6

    She doesn't like piles of Marijuana on the counter, broski.

  • @yadyramos1094
    @yadyramos1094 6 месяцев назад

    I think this conversation needs to be asked in every marriage ❤❤

  • @AutumnLocks
    @AutumnLocks 6 месяцев назад +2

    Yes! My husband and I both work. Its hard to keep the house clean, but I'm always more relaxed when it is. Thats why I prioritize keeping the kids rooms clean and we clean up the family room each night. We go to bed in peace and wake up to a peaceful main room (which is torn apart in 10 min, but it started out nice 😅).

  • @sophiekotomski4588
    @sophiekotomski4588 6 месяцев назад +1

    Put lights on a timer. Our home is always lit at dusk. Grateful for that.

  • @erthmthr
    @erthmthr 6 месяцев назад +1

    cherishing is one of the best parts of being married

  • @carreenbogden
    @carreenbogden 2 месяца назад

    my husband does all of this and that kindness and support is an act of true love and respect. it’s the little things.

  • @lololollaughatlife1431
    @lololollaughatlife1431 6 месяцев назад +2

    Exactly. Husband has worked from home since Covid. I have not. He takes plenty of naps between meetings. I come home exhausted and the house is worse than when I left it.

  • @jdkillzone
    @jdkillzone 6 месяцев назад +1

    I think it's very important to note that he and his wife sat down and had a two way conversation about what each wanted and needed. Compromises were made and that both sides worked to make the situation better.

  • @11antun
    @11antun 7 месяцев назад +1

    Absolutely ❤ Such small things are Life, Love, Marriage
    you can’t even post them on Social Media, there are so small, but make the Life

  • @joshuapaul9898
    @joshuapaul9898 7 месяцев назад +1

    That’s why I’ll be married forever because y’all do the one thing that most don’t and it’s what marriage is all about communication

  • @user-bd9xr6ol5x
    @user-bd9xr6ol5x 2 месяца назад

    Every video of yours speaks directly to my heart. I really wish you had a workbook or video class specifically for couples to do interactively.

  • @amelia-uv7mz
    @amelia-uv7mz 2 месяца назад

    Well said. I always cannot win the battle of decluttering over my hubby’s collection. He is always find things to bring to the house.

  • @Echo-ux3wo
    @Echo-ux3wo 2 месяца назад

    Bet this got shared to many, many spouses!
    Thank you Doctor for your work. You're making a difference to your followers!
    Please offer my gratitude to your wife, allowing this negotiation to be related to all of us!

  • @katherinetorrence1502
    @katherinetorrence1502 6 месяцев назад +1

    What a wonderful husband. May God bless your marriage