Foster Care - A Solution for Parentless Children | Drew Hale | TEDxTraverseCity
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- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
- While often seen as a solution for childless parents, Drew Hale sees adoption as a solution for parentless children. He discusses the foster care system and the thousands of children awaiting placement. He describes becoming a parent of foster children, and adopting them. He concludes with his own song, "Come What May."
Drew Hale is a singer/songwriter from Traverse City, Michigan. He and his wife Emily are parents of 3 boys, all adopted out of the foster care system. As foster parents they share a love for kids growing up in the system, and a passion for raising awareness about orphan care, as well as the imminent needs of the foster care system in Michigan and around the US.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
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As someone who works in the foster care system, this one really bothered me. Yes, I support adoption and would like to see more loving foster parents out there, ready to adopt if necessary. But the goal of foster care is always reunification until it becomes clear that it cannot be. A social worker should never tell a placement immediately after removal that this kid will likely be adopted to them. And "family coming out of the woodwork?" That family should be considered (1) for placement, or (2) at least as collateral contacts and support. Otherwise what we have is little more than a professional kidnapping, a child being removed from its roots and whisked off away to someone who can deny their origins and change who they are.
The speaker describes how the mother went from intermittent involvement to none in a span of four months. While I know that is often the case, part of me also looks at the lack of support from a jaded social worker (implied as she told the first placement that he should be ready to adopt). How much energy was put into trying to make this parent successful?
While it is heartbreaking for the foster family when a child is removed and placed back with the family or with kin, the key person to be considered is the child. And while there are situations where the parent continues to abuse or neglect, or cases where the parent relapses back into substance abuse, and cases where the trauma may continue or increase, there are also success stories, where drug treatment has worked, where parenting classes and support and mental health counseling have led to a successful reunification.
Having a child apprehended could have traumatized, destabilized and debilitated her. There is a lot of shame and blame placed on parents who are often doing their best in circumstances largely outside of their control. The system punishes them and then provides the supports and resources to a foster family to care for their child. Even reunifications often don't involve support for the parents. I could not listen to this without thinking of the agony and pain of the family who also feared, and then subsequently experienced, the child rhey love being taken.
This is beautiful story, but this is NOT the typical experience of foster care. This adorable guy who got to keep his first placements and ends the video with a song doesn't even touch on the anxiety, fear, trauma and pain experienced by average foster parents and the LOSS of your foster child. Foster care is a critical and needed volunteer service in any community, but please do not consider providing this service based on the happy ending in this video. Do your own research on your local agency's statistics of foster-to-adopt and how many children are actually returned to the same situations from which they came.
Nicole, you make a great point. I will tell you, however, having walked this journey with Drew and Emily, there were a thousand other ups and downs with other bio-family members coming in and potentially taking the kids back, etc. There just is not adequate time in a Ted talk to fully tell explore the journey. It was not easy, it was not smooth, but in the long run it was the best and right path for this family
And also, mainly the system is completely traumatic for the children. First and foremost this whole system is about the children. If I were to be become a foster care or adopter I would make sure those children were my life. I would put their lives before mine, because that is what it is all about. These children need an unconditional home.
God is good! What a beautiful story, I was crying through the song. What a beautiful family God gave you. Thank you so much for sharing.
I'm sitting here, the evening before your birthday, and cry of joy. 💕💕💕
Kinship Care should always take priority over foster care. Some of these stories are good but not all are this way. Find a relative. Unfortunately most caseworkers don't. I wish foster parents would ask if they tried kinship 1st
Fortunately, there is a push for this to happen more now. I work professionally with foster children and in my state, it is now codified into law that kinship care must be thoroughly researched and kinship providers (relatives, family friends) can be fast-tracked into a foster license that will allow them to receive foster care funding that would normally be given only to non-related licensed foster parents. This is huge, as the number one reason kinship foster parents give up the children is that they didn't realize the financial impact of taking in an extra child or two. Also, foster children often come from poverty, and of course, poverty runs in extended families as well. Removing a child from a parent in poverty and giving the child to a grandparent or aunt in poverty creates a new problem, as their resources are stretched tighter. Now, they can be given an extra stipend to cover their expenses.
The speaker seems very sweet, but I take issue with his phrasing about one of his foster children's family members "coming out of the woodworks" (like bugs or pests?) to take in the baby.
I also want to eventually foster or adopt, but I can't ignore some of the stories about children being unfairly ripped from their families and being denied stay with grandparents/aunts or uncles.
I really hope it isn't one of those cases and the caseworker made the right decision. At any rate this man seems like a great, thoughtful, and loving parent.
I agree. I raised 4 kids as a single mom, and now it's almost time to fledge a few more, I think. My goal will be to take older children and try to keep them bound as tightly as possible to their original homes.
thats my uncle
Matthew Hollis good for you
@@FirstNameLastName-ym4wt i feel like you are a little sarcastic here
He sounds like a fun uncle. Congrats on the new Cousins.. 👨👦👦
Me Too..I always want foster/adopt.I never want to have biological children.
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foster care doesn't help
Much true
Wait why am I replying to myself
What makes you say that. I’m considering doing it and I want to know as much as I can
It can help. It doesn't help every child, every case, but it does help.
Agree ! Foster kids is so hard ! I wish I got to adopt that fast. 3 year so far I foster 5 kids so far.
Ebonydoll1 I know this is from a year ago. However, that's when we started fostering children. In our first year we've had 13 kids.
Isn't thou shall not steal a commandment? Isn't honor thy father and mother a commandment? How easy is it to honor father and mother when you trivialize the relationship between parents and children to any two adults paired up with any children they can take or manipulate out of their parents.
ai giải thích dùm đang diễn gì vậy?