That is the worst thought, for sure. It’s incredibly scary to think about. That why sometimes distraction is actually helpful if you find it hard to focus on something positive or acceptance.
I understand what you are saying but just know things do get better. From where I was at a little over 4 months ago is honestly night and day. I am in no way accepting 100% where I am at but compared to 4 months ago, but it is an improvement. I am slowly getting my life back. It is painful to feel like I am starting over but if I go back on benzos I will lose everything because it is a downward spiral for me and then I would be starting this whole process over again. Just keep reaching out for help and try to stay positive. I know this is hard possibly where you are at, but this is a good community. Sometimes I just type in here and it makes me feel better even if nobody responds but they usually do. Just remember you are not alone. For me I used to think like that until I just started reaching out. You will get better!!!
This is such a crazy experience sometimes I just have to laugh. It almost doesn't even seem real like I am making this up in my head or something. I am going to attempt to try and focus on only ways that I can improve myself. Be it emotional intelligence, coping skills, working out, diet, fasting and in general a better way of living. You are so right Dan it is so hard for me to just let it be. I used to live in the past or extreme future and not living. This will take some time and that's ok. I just wanted it to be over have everything back overnight and achieve everything I want tomorrow and ride off into the sunset. This thinking caused me problems because I would get mad it didn't happen overnight or something stupid. The good parts of me like my drive to seek an escape etc from drugs can be used to channel that drive into repairing myself in a faster manner but I also need to learn Patience/Acceptance/Gratitude right in this area. Enjoy life appreciate what I have. Stop being soooo critical of myself I have come a long way. Enjoy the process. I need to let the benzos go in my mind. I do not need them anymore and they will never be there for me again, but I thank them for the help they did way long ago. This merry go around has to stop..... RIP Benzos.........Life and healing begins, and it doesn't have to be perfect........ I will still be in this community because I will need help along this journey..... I don't believe I can do this alone. Much Love Ben (a work in progress)
I'm the most impatient guy on the planet man... standing in cues ...no thank you sir 😆 but yeh in this you have no choice but to patient.... sorry late reply on this Dan its because I've actually been feeling better and doing alot with my kid.... I had a window over a week ago and it's not went into a bad wave...seems to be keeping steady...something ive not felt through this yet. Much love to ya Dan.
That’s great to hear Thomas! We’re meant to get through this and move on with our lives. Sounds like you’ve been able to do that lately and I’m happy for you.
@@philosophicalfishingthank you... I'm still in it... a good window for me is.. no anxiety attacks..depression and fatigue.. .. I can deal with everything else. The sore jaw tension can drive me nuts but I can still do things with that..... il still be talking with ya man even when is it over.
Great video 😊 I’m currently 4 months off Antidepressant drugs after 17 years of physical dependency and know all too well the patience required for this process. All the best.
I just came across your channel. Thank you for the advise. Patience is something I need too. But I haven't even started tapering down and don't know how to, absolutely terrified. I can't believe that place made you go cold turkey Dan because I've heard it can give people seizures. Glad you are feeling so good now. From 🇬🇧 UK
I am stiff from my neck till lower back , so you recognize this, and so painful . I feel eso hopeless I hope this will come to an end Hugs from the Netherlands
Hi Marjorie- I had pain and stiffness in neck and back badly too. I was always hunched over from the pain and pure exhaustion. It went away for me, but took time. Wish you continued healing.🙏🏻❤️
@@philosophicalfishing I feel like a statue it is awfull, I hope so it is possibly to heal, and one day I have my life back Thanks for the videos you make, they are very helpful Hug from the Netherlands
I am the same way Patience is very difficult for me. This process has made me look at myself in ways I could never imagine. Benzo withdrawal is something that is a loss for words. It is so difficult to understand what you're going thru or even attempt to describe (emotional dysregulation). The best thing I have started to understand is that the intense fear, anxiety, panic, pain, muscle spasms you name it is just an illusion that my damaged nervous system/mind thinks is happening, but it is actually not. It is just a protective mechanism I believe to inform you if something is wrong etc and then you go oh yea I did C/T off benzos and it has a right to be pissed at me LOL. If I continue to validate that these things are happening when they are not, I am just giving them more power. It is like learning new Coping skills, Emotional Intelligence, Forgiveness, heck pretty much every aspect of living a healthy life. I used to take life for granted and I was just floating in a benzo fog. I still feel like a turtle sometimes with no shell just a raw nerve and honestly, I have felt that way for a long time, but it was the benzos. I am stronger now than I have ever been in my whole life and the rest of my life ahead to keep getting better (thanks Dan). This journey is a lifelong process of continuing to get better every day and practicing patience during this ahhhhhh I get what you're saying Dan. Being humble, giving back, pushing myself, being authentic, emotionally stable, joyful, sad etc (full range of emotions and emotional intelligence). I have noticed that I was controlled by my emotions, and I thought I was this way, but I am finding out this is not the case. My emotions do not control me they are just emotions to look at observe and use to my advantage in life not to harm me. It is like learning everything all over again and the great thing I am starting to discover is I am still intact how I have no idea. I should be a statistic. Emotions are your friend not your enemy even when they are mean and say nasty stuff and tell me I am nothing. They are just confused and have a right to be they are in benzo withdrawal. They are like should I be happy today oh shit we have been happy to long time to be sad lets see if that still works how about anger or joy. LOL If I keep telling my emotions that the wrong signals are true it will think so. I am separate from my emotions they are not out to hurt me they are just trying to figure out what the hell is going on. I am learning I control my reaction to my emotions and life no matter how insane they are at times right now. Heck they should be insane I was torturing them. They have been asleep for a while and are woke up out of a dead sleep and they are like holy shit man this is crazy. Sound the alarm evacuate the building there is a fire but it was my stupid ass that pulled the fire alarm to begin with. Time to put the fire out or at least do a controlled burn LOL There will be good days, bad days, ups and downs it's part of life. How I react to them is key and if I get knocked down, I just need to get back up. Nobody is perfect or 100% ever it's just showing up and doing the best you can and if you have a near perfect day celebrate it. Learning from my mistakes and try not to repeat them. Emotions are just Emotions they are tools not my enemy. I can regulate my emotions and my happiness. I never understood this that I can be happy without medication. Just have to keep learning and stay clean 4 1/2 months!!! I have never been completely clean in so long I don't remember no anti-depressant, alcohol or weed to try and offset what I am coming off of. Pretty Cool Great work Dan!!! Keep em coming I am learning. 👀 Bob Bobarino (a work in progress)
I really like what you said about emotions. Sounds like you’re using this whole experience to go deep, work on yourself, and use the pain for a revolutionary change in being. That’s the key! That’s what this whole channel is about. I too felt like a raw nerve- it was by far the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever gone through, and excruciating at times. But its like how metal needs to be forged in fire. You have to walk through the fire to come out stronger.
@@philosophicalfishing Thank you so much for the kind words. I am so much better than I was but like you said this is a lifelong process anyway of improving every day. I can't believe I am starting to say this because 4 1/2 months ago I was an absolute lost cause really really scary. When I look at it now I dang well should of been I C/T of benzos/narcotics it was pissed. Has every right to be mad at me. I am waking up for first time in my life during benzo withdrawal and understanding they are just emotions they are not my enemy. They warn me if something is wrong and it dang sure did don't leave the house you need to heal you dil rod. Emotional Dysregulation. Key is I can recognize it now. Big Big Big step in healing for me and sure I am going to have setback or whatever it's life I was never living before 4 1/2 months ago.😁 Thank you Dan🙏 Your Vids are helping so much. Bob Bobarino
@@philosophicalfishing I am taking my first step my Dad is coming over I am going to fix his rear brakes for him. I am still alive, and I can do this without medication. Patience, Gratitude, Step by Step, Acceptance, Self-Love. Good stuff Dan, I owe you one buddy. I may come back tonight have a terrible day and have to start over but that's ok as well. Update: This sounds minor, but it is a huge step. I also just walked outside, opened up the gate, got the mail without crazy anxiety I mean there was some, but I could see it and be like I am just walking to the gate simmer down. Much Love Bob Bobarino takes his first baby steps as a Man Child wish me luck!!!
@@philosophicalfishing Holy Shit I did it I was able to work on my Dads vehicle. I also order a bush hog so I can cut down my jungle of a property that is 4to 6 ft high. I can't believe a stupid pill can do this kind of damage it is beyond comprehension. I sincerely thank you for helping guide me. I will put in the work no doubt about that. I can never go back to another benzo ever again.....One step at a time Much Love, Bob (Ben)!!
I’d be able to accept this better if I knew I’ll get better one day. The worst part is thinking you’re stuck this way forever.
That is the worst thought, for sure. It’s incredibly scary to think about. That why sometimes distraction is actually helpful if you find it hard to focus on something positive or acceptance.
Yes this is the most worst symptom, that this will be together
Forever!!!!
I understand what you are saying but just know things do get better. From where I was at a little over 4 months ago is honestly night and day. I am in no way accepting 100% where I am at but compared to 4 months ago, but it is an improvement. I am slowly getting my life back. It is painful to feel like I am starting over but if I go back on benzos I will lose everything because it is a downward spiral for me and then I would be starting this whole process over again. Just keep reaching out for help and try to stay positive. I know this is hard possibly where you are at, but this is a good community. Sometimes I just type in here and it makes me feel better even if nobody responds but they usually do. Just remember you are not alone. For me I used to think like that until I just started reaching out.
You will get better!!!
@@bobbobarino6213 ❤️😍💋
This is such a crazy experience sometimes I just have to laugh. It almost doesn't even seem real like I am making this up in my head or something. I am going to attempt to try and focus on only ways that I can improve myself. Be it emotional intelligence, coping skills, working out, diet, fasting and in general a better way of living. You are so right Dan it is so hard for me to just let it be. I used to live in the past or extreme future and not living. This will take some time and that's ok. I just wanted it to be over have everything back overnight and achieve everything I want tomorrow and ride off into the sunset. This thinking caused me problems because I would get mad it didn't happen overnight or something stupid. The good parts of me like my drive to seek an escape etc from drugs can be used to channel that drive into repairing myself in a faster manner but I also need to learn Patience/Acceptance/Gratitude right in this area. Enjoy life appreciate what I have. Stop being soooo critical of myself I have come a long way. Enjoy the process. I need to let the benzos go in my mind. I do not need them anymore and they will never be there for me again, but I thank them for the help they did way long ago. This merry go around has to stop..... RIP Benzos.........Life and healing begins, and it doesn't have to be perfect........
I will still be in this community because I will need help along this journey..... I don't believe I can do this alone.
Much Love
Ben (a work in progress)
I'm the most impatient guy on the planet man... standing in cues ...no thank you sir 😆 but yeh in this you have no choice but to patient.... sorry late reply on this Dan its because I've actually been feeling better and doing alot with my kid.... I had a window over a week ago and it's not went into a bad wave...seems to be keeping steady...something ive not felt through this yet. Much love to ya Dan.
That’s great to hear Thomas! We’re meant to get through this and move on with our lives. Sounds like you’ve been able to do that lately and I’m happy for you.
@@philosophicalfishingthank you... I'm still in it... a good window for me is.. no anxiety attacks..depression and fatigue.. .. I can deal with everything else. The sore jaw tension can drive me nuts but I can still do things with that..... il still be talking with ya man even when is it over.
Great video 😊 I’m currently 4 months off Antidepressant drugs after 17 years of physical dependency and know all too well the patience required for this process.
All the best.
Congratulations to you my friend! Happy to hear that and hope you’re doing well.
Good advice 😊 Patience is still very challenging for me
I was off about a year when I woke up at the hospital my husband said that I had a stroke. Thanks for your advice.
I just came across your channel. Thank you for the advise. Patience is something I need too. But I haven't even started tapering down and don't know how to, absolutely terrified. I can't believe that place made you go cold turkey Dan because I've heard it can give people seizures. Glad you are feeling so good now. From 🇬🇧 UK
I am stiff from my neck till lower back , so you recognize this, and so painful .
I feel eso hopeless
I hope this will come to an end
Hugs from the Netherlands
Hi Marjorie- I had pain and stiffness in neck and back badly too. I was always hunched over from the pain and pure exhaustion. It went away for me, but took time. Wish you continued healing.🙏🏻❤️
@@philosophicalfishing thank you for your answer.I hope so that this will disappear!
Hugs from the Netherlands
@@philosophicalfishing
I feel like a statue it is awfull, I hope so it is possibly to heal, and one day I have my life back
Thanks for the videos you make, they are very helpful
Hug from the Netherlands
I am the same way Patience is very difficult for me. This process has made me look at myself in ways I could never imagine. Benzo withdrawal is something that is a loss for words. It is so difficult to understand what you're going thru or even attempt to describe (emotional dysregulation). The best thing I have started to understand is that the intense fear, anxiety, panic, pain, muscle spasms you name it is just an illusion that my damaged nervous system/mind thinks is happening, but it is actually not. It is just a protective mechanism I believe to inform you if something is wrong etc and then you go oh yea I did C/T off benzos and it has a right to be pissed at me LOL. If I continue to validate that these things are happening when they are not, I am just giving them more power. It is like learning new Coping skills, Emotional Intelligence, Forgiveness, heck pretty much every aspect of living a healthy life. I used to take life for granted and I was just floating in a benzo fog. I still feel like a turtle sometimes with no shell just a raw nerve and honestly, I have felt that way for a long time, but it was the benzos. I am stronger now than I have ever been in my whole life and the rest of my life ahead to keep getting better (thanks Dan). This journey is a lifelong process of continuing to get better every day and practicing patience during this ahhhhhh I get what you're saying Dan. Being humble, giving back, pushing myself, being authentic, emotionally stable, joyful, sad etc (full range of emotions and emotional intelligence). I have noticed that I was controlled by my emotions, and I thought I was this way, but I am finding out this is not the case. My emotions do not control me they are just emotions to look at observe and use to my advantage in life not to harm me. It is like learning everything all over again and the great thing I am starting to discover is I am still intact how I have no idea. I should be a statistic. Emotions are your friend not your enemy even when they are mean and say nasty stuff and tell me I am nothing. They are just confused and have a right to be they are in benzo withdrawal. They are like should I be happy today oh shit we have been happy to long time to be sad lets see if that still works how about anger or joy. LOL If I keep telling my emotions that the wrong signals are true it will think so. I am separate from my emotions they are not out to hurt me they are just trying to figure out what the hell is going on. I am learning I control my reaction to my emotions and life no matter how insane they are at times right now. Heck they should be insane I was torturing them. They have been asleep for a while and are woke up out of a dead sleep and they are like holy shit man this is crazy. Sound the alarm evacuate the building there is a fire but it was my stupid ass that pulled the fire alarm to begin with. Time to put the fire out or at least do a controlled burn LOL
There will be good days, bad days, ups and downs it's part of life. How I react to them is key and if I get knocked down, I just need to get back up. Nobody is perfect or 100% ever it's just showing up and doing the best you can and if you have a near perfect day celebrate it. Learning from my mistakes and try not to repeat them. Emotions are just Emotions they are tools not my enemy. I can regulate my emotions and my happiness. I never understood this that I can be happy without medication. Just have to keep learning and stay clean 4 1/2 months!!! I have never been completely clean in so long I don't remember no anti-depressant, alcohol or weed to try and offset what I am coming off of. Pretty Cool
Great work Dan!!! Keep em coming I am learning. 👀
Bob Bobarino (a work in progress)
I really like what you said about emotions. Sounds like you’re using this whole experience to go deep, work on yourself, and use the pain for a revolutionary change in being. That’s the key! That’s what this whole channel is about. I too felt like a raw nerve- it was by far the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever gone through, and excruciating at times. But its like how metal needs to be forged in fire. You have to walk through the fire to come out stronger.
@@philosophicalfishing Thank you so much for the kind words. I am so much better than I was but like you said this is a lifelong process anyway of improving every day. I can't believe I am starting to say this because 4 1/2 months ago I was an absolute lost cause really really scary. When I look at it now I dang well should of been I C/T of benzos/narcotics it was pissed. Has every right to be mad at me. I am waking up for first time in my life during benzo withdrawal and understanding they are just emotions they are not my enemy. They warn me if something is wrong and it dang sure did don't leave the house you need to heal you dil rod. Emotional Dysregulation. Key is I can recognize it now. Big Big Big step in healing for me and sure I am going to have setback or whatever it's life I was never living before 4 1/2 months ago.😁
Thank you Dan🙏 Your Vids are helping so much.
Bob Bobarino
@@philosophicalfishing I am taking my first step my Dad is coming over I am going to fix his rear brakes for him. I am still alive, and I can do this without medication. Patience, Gratitude, Step by Step, Acceptance, Self-Love. Good stuff Dan, I owe you one buddy. I may come back tonight have a terrible day and have to start over but that's ok as well.
Update: This sounds minor, but it is a huge step. I also just walked outside, opened up the gate, got the mail without crazy anxiety I mean there was some, but I could see it and be like I am just walking to the gate simmer down.
Much Love
Bob Bobarino takes his first baby steps as a Man Child wish me luck!!!
That’s awesome, Bob(Ben)! All you need to do is be willing to try and let the rest just be.
@@philosophicalfishing Holy Shit I did it I was able to work on my Dads vehicle. I also order a bush hog so I can cut down my jungle of a property that is 4to 6 ft high. I can't believe a stupid pill can do this kind of damage it is beyond comprehension. I sincerely thank you for helping guide me. I will put in the work no doubt about that. I can never go back to another benzo ever again.....One step at a time
Much Love,
Bob (Ben)!!
Hi! I am on 3.5 years of withdrawal, and it is still horrible. Do you think there is still hope for me?
100% I believe that you can heal. I’ve seen and experienced too many people that have been benzo damaged for many years but still healed.
@@philosophicalfishing Thanks! That helps!
@@MonicaHuntington650how are you now friend