Broken! Why B Simone Is Having Breaking Down & Struggling To Date Dismissive Avoidant Perspective
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 10 окт 2024
- We wanna Thank You For Your Continued Support. You can Continue to Support Us
SIGN UP FOR THE "100 CLUB" OFFLINE MONTLY GET TOGETHER
calendly.com/l...
Join this channel to get access to perks:
/ @littleblackbook91
BOOK A COACHING SESSION
calendly.com/l...
WE are In Sponsorship With Better Help Use My Link
betterhelp.com...
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEW CHANNEL - DARKARTS91 PODCAST
/ @darkarts91podcast14
JOIN OUR TV SHOW COMMUNITY & DISCORD
/ littleblackbook91
SUPPORT THE CHANNEL FINANCIALLY
PAYPAL (One Off Payment of Support)
www.paypal.me/littleblackbook91
CASH APP - LITTLEBLACKBOOK91
LISTEN TO AUDIO ON THE GO
open.spotify.c...
FOLLOW THE PODCAST GSINAPOD
linktr.ee/GsIn...
Wanna Grab Mineral Gang Merchandise (check out the Store)
teespring.com/...
/ @littleblackbook91
The Shade Hat and Hoodie Merchandise (use discount code below in the brackets)
www.stillshade...
(littleblackbook91) for 10% off Products
Contact Us On
@LBB91_
IG Littleblackbook91
Littleblackbook91@gmail.com
EQUIPMENT
Microphone Rode - amzn.to/3fRZUGw
Camera DSLR NIKON D5300 - amzn.to/2ZReybo
Extra Batteries For Camera - amzn.to/2WNk50J
The Microphone Samson - amzn.to/3oFK1Hi
BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS
Love Languages (USE LINK BELOW)
amzn.to/3e6z1h2
Assertiveness Training (Be More Assertive)
amzn.to/366KbDo
how to set boundaries Book
amzn.to/3CVxd7F
Attachment Theory book
amzn.to/3hiPBvs
Emotional Intilligence BOOK
amzn.to/368tKGE
SIGN UP FOR AUDIBLE BOOKS HERE
amzn.to/3gSivEm
FTC DISCLAIMER: ALL THOUGHTS, OPINIONS AND VIEWS ARE MINE AND NOT AMAZONS
Contact Us
She wants to be seen. She is lost, but wants a husband to validate her. She has access to money and other resources and is still miserable because the problem is within.
YEP
Let’s just thank B for being vulnerable enough to allow us into her heart and evaluate and learn from her. Her issue is 80% of women’s issue in America!
@@EasyBreezie Not even just women. People in general. And I think she’s really courageous for doing this. It’s alot to be faced with who you are let alone share it with the world. I’m deeply proud of her and anyone who is intentionally making the choice to heal.
@@EasyBreezie wrong and more wrong
the self-reliance and hyper-independence were coping mechanisms/skills to survive maternal abandonment
Yep. Mine is paternal.
Excuses!
It’s nearly always paternal because of the lack of the masculine role we end up embodying it
🎯🎯🎯🎯
Her father left her though, so it’s paternal. That is usually the case.
She consistently says she is "looking for a husband" ....totally tunnel vision. And not thinking about the journey of dating, bonding, and learning herself and someone else.
And thats just 1 of her issues.
She seems like she needs a long break. A super long 1
Yeah dismissive avoidant’s are always focused on the mission & not the journey, same thing she did w her bff. Or even chasing DaBaby, she had a mission to get his validation that she was enough instead of realizing too much of her life journey was being spent on someone who didn’t want her bcus she felt her alignment w him was good for business/ her brand, to the point of even taking on the identity of Danileigh …my God 😩
@@0331tate I can testify to this my ex did the same thing to me, they are so focused on the destination they dont think that its the actions u do know that makes u get to the destination, DA's will end a relationship caused they are so focused on the destination, and think the destination should be now, not knowing is the journey and the steps u take now that will lead u there.
My ex ended our relationship cause to them they dont think am their soulmate, at the moment I was so hurt by it but with time and therapy I realised how messed up the whole situation was, they never communicated their needs and wants or things they thought were lacking in the relationship to me, I was in total darkness, the day they communicated their needs and wants and stuff to me, that same instant am getting dumped and being told I am not the ONE.
the day they communicating their needs and wants to me, am already being dismissed and getting broken up with cause we lack those stuff, things I wasnt even aware of.
how do u expect someone to be the ONE ( destination) when u not willing to do the work ( journey ) to get to that destination.
@0331tate that was such an embarrassing time for her. I felt bad for her. She is actually lucky we are in a time when men don't propose much. Because if this was the 70s or 80s she would have already been in a few miserable marriage and divorces.
Exactly. She skipped all the steps in between (dating etc.). A husband isn't the end all be all smh
Wooo this is good analysis. Everyday I always wake up and think, what’s my next small goal. I’d like a great relationship, but am I vulnerable, am I open, have I changed my attitude to sharing. Amen to this revelation
Paul wrote a letter to encourage Timothy that he needed to stay strong. He said, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind”
When a person seeks a closer walk with God, read the Book of Job before-hand for preparation for the darts that the devil will be throwing. Walking with God isn't always easy. The trials and tribulations prepare us for the next chapters in life. Sometimes we have to decrease to increase. Oftentimes, I know that I am still standing and blessed to be standing with God because He is my strength.
Out of all of my years on RUclips, THIS comment is the Greatest Ive seen. Thank you for posting this❤
This is so true, he sheds things that we thought we needed
Woo! Decrease to increase! 🔥🔥🔥
Amen
@@justbeingveetv3423 - Life is challenging for many of us. If it wasn't for God, many of us wouldn't be here.
I appreciate the compliment. I was speaking from the heart and my reality. I hope my post inspires people to keep walking with God, and themselves envision being blessed and elevated.
When you keep on searching, the more it runs from you ! You will most likely not get things in the moment you want to but in the moment you’re ready for it.
The more she desperately wants it, the longer it’s gonna take for her to have it.
Excellent analysis. Social media has a habit of making men avoidant and women anxious. Social media also has a habit of making anxious attachers "the good ones," and avoidants "the bad ones." We must always remember that we all have our own pain. Throughout our lives we consciously and unconsciously do things to move toward pleasure and away from pain. Excellent video.
Haven’t watched you in years because I stopped watching most secular shows… I don’t know this young lady or who she is BUT I had a spiritual awakening in 2020 and now a mental transformation.
I was recently told that this is my attachment style and you are giving a spot on analysis and advice. May the Most High YAH bless you in all your endeavors.
And now I’m seeing that you have multiple videos on this topic! Tfs free therapy🥹😁
Very well broken down! B Simone is me... Lack of boundaries and then blowing up down the line. Walking away before being left. Lack of protection as a child. Being consumed with work. Feel so much but afraid to show it! Choosing the wrong guys. Jheeze!
The fact I’m crying watching this , because I suffered with all of this. The lack of support form family , being told such negativity growing up has put a knife in the dating world for me.
Let’s talk about how I wasn’t expecting to feel like this video was going to be about me. Like 1000%, even down to the friendship stuff. Smh I think that’s a sign 😫
You and I both. I thought my partner was the dismissive avoidant...
@@K_Allday crazy part is the very next video I watched from another RUclipsr I like ( Armon). He was premiering a video in relation to the same thing. I’m like 🤯 this message is for me 🤣
@@_danyelbI'm just waiting for my next message... lol, but seriously introspect is everything in life's circle.
I was not expecting to be impacted at all
Literally! I was very confident I was anxious avoidant but now hearing this broken down like this… wow this me to a T, this was actually such a good explanation
You got this! You can help the generations with your insight!
Thank u so much
I’m only 18 minutes in and the way I’m having so many hallelujah moments especially with the difference between co-regulation of emotions and codependency, whew!
This has to be the most accurate thing I’ve ever heard about myself, and it really helps me to understand why I move the way I move. Wow wow wow
Same
I realize after a recent breakup I'm fearful-avoidant, but showed more anxious in that relationship. The break has me turning more towards the advoidant side of my unhealthy attachment. This video resonates with me because I'm noticing I'm not intuned with my emotions like I used. I repress my emotions almost subconsciously now if makes me uncomfortable or too big for me to handle. I'm distant to avoid being rejected and have become a workaholic. In therapy twice a week and building my relationship with the Lord so I can fix this and have a healthy attachment style. 😅
Wooow! This is so profound. This was me, since i was a child. My mom was so strict and emotionally dismissive, it didn't come from a bad place though and I didn't know where my emotionally avoidant personality came from until I've listened to this. I've made a lot of positive progress, self healing really, despite the fact that I didn't fully understand what made me the way i was
Not Kojo reading me for filth …to the teee ….its a bit scary 😅🤣
babay im reading myself alongside yall
Bro dating is not everything in life. The more you obsess over something, the more you push that something away. Apparently you’re not ready for one or you’d have one. Take time and focus on growth and love will find you.
While that is true, you must also look at things from a biological point of view, whereas women have a biological clock which determines the window of which we can reproduce. She hasn’t even found a husband yet and her time is running out.
I love when you do these breakdowns on avoidant attachment styles and then second when u do anxious bc u always pull out gems 💎 that I didn't see. And maybe u are so spot of with avoidant behavior bc I wanna say I heard u mentioned you are as well. But I thx u for the knowledge
KOJO!!!!!! God has blessed you and you know your stuff!!!! The way she validated everything you said at the 30 min mark was just wholesome.
A video on anxious attachment next pls🙏🏾. Sooo over my attachment style rn lol
@@mercedezeileen3630 I got u
I think I'm in a relationship with someone who may have this personality trait... and I'm emotionally and mentally drained. Jaded. I feel bad about it.
Which part is draining let me know and then I can do a video on it
@litttleblackbook91 The draining part is feeling like I constantly have to validate my feelings towards them. I feel that I do just that but it's never enough. I also feel controlled buy them often and have voiced that but it falls on deaf ears. An example is them wanting me to go to a social platform and write a birthday message about why I love and appreciate them. I just couldn't and didn't want to and they know that I am introverted. We had a huge argument over this, mainly because I asked why they cared about what others thought and they couldn't tell me why, even tried to gaslight me.
Sounds like the validation he wants is you showing that you appreciate and care about him. The world knowing shows him that ur proud of him being ur man and that your proud of loving him. Which makes him feel secure. He probably doesn't believe that u ain't put that post because u introverted. Cause why u on there if u introverted. It won't add up
I resonate with B. Simone so much. You broke this down so well Kojo.
I loved what you had to say on the spiritual aspect of accepting that what you’ve been doing to get to a certain point may not fuel you to get to the next point on your journey. All you can do from there is ask for guidance 🙏🏾
Keep it up, Kojo 🤍
@@___leyla my queen thank you been too long
@@LittleBlackBook91 Way too long 🤍
Wow this is me! 😢 I need to get back into therapy…thanks for explaining and breaking it down to me. Now I can put words to it
You got this! we appreciate that u learning love this
@@LittleBlackBook91 what services do you offer?
Thank u I have a problem expressing my wants n needs…it’s like a hand around my mouth😅😅😅..thank u for this vid, I love learning more about myself 🎉👏🏾👏🏾🏆🥂more work to do💪🏾💪🏾
She's a woman now and even though she has a childhood experience that makes all this hard , she needs to let that go and focus on healing and moving forward
Easier said than done when it's embedded into your subconscious. What you just did was no different than telling a rape victim to get over something when the pain show up differently for others . Rule of thumb never tell someone they should get over something when they are working through their trauma . She obviously is working through her trauma ... she is talking about it that's a start!!! She needs time give her grace. Being grown doesn't mean you have it together in all areas in your life
Which is what she’s trying to do!!😳damn acknowledging is the first step and being accountable..who’s to say she’s not working on that..just saying this goes without saying..Many times to get to this point she’s at it’s because you are willing to be active and INTENTIONAL in your growth and transformation..
@@MartishaSooDivine333agreed. And the fact she’s showing some self awareness - to me shows she’s been exploring her emotions
Kojo you nailed it!!
By his grace
Your break down is wonderful I struggle with rejection from childhood traumas from my mother
You have been speaking sense for years! I am finally going back to therapy, and I can’t wait. I had never considered a life coach before….now….you are definitely on my radar! You are doing the Lord’s work, Brother. We’ll chat soon, I hope.
❤️✊🏾
Wow thank you
I havent seen someone with such a deep and accurate understanding of attachment styles in so long. Great video!
23:56 not me clutching my pearls at this call out 😩 The msg I didn’t know I was getting or needed
Wow. The way you spoke to me! I just found you and wow. Just wow. New subbie.
@@poeticlovee by his grace more is coming
SIR!!!! This was GOOD To me!!!! This was a blessing ❤️ Both videos! Whew!
Wisdom 🙏🏿 I pray for your continued transformation and comfort through it❤
Kodjo, thank you for explaining this so clearly 🙌🏾 That is heavy but there is hope,... much love to you and people on their healing journey, we can do this 💛
Wow wow wow, you broke that down like *chef's kiss*
B will fully flourish when she will decide to be a real authentic person.
You see so much un-realness through her eyes and her voice.
That is why the relationship with Ashley had to end
🎯🎯🎯
Bingo!!!!
@@user-he4lj5wl7wand she projected that onto Ashley when in fact she has been the problem the entire time
I see a lot of myself in her…. At 39, I’m FINALLY trying to be my authentic self. It’s a real day to day struggle. I avoid deep relationships as a result I’m looking around and realizing that I would like a husband and possibly a child one day but I hate being in relationships and can never just be “me”🙈🙁
I renewed my relationship with the Most High YAH a few years ago and now I’m on meds and in counseling. It’s definitely a journey but worth it🙏🏾
I also think she may not want to admit she’s upset that Megan has moved on and has another best friend. She has to publicly show she’s not thinking about her because she may have been the problem in the friendship
This is why I smoke such a complicated world dreams seem impossible
Haven’t seen your videos pop up in months, if not a year. Happy to see this vid
I’m excited to learn thanks for this and attachment styles ain’t no joke !!b I thought I was avoidant but realized I was disorganized/fearful so I have both ends of the spectrum.
I just discovered my attachment style is Disorganized Attachment or rather Fearful Avoidant. I can relate to some of what she struggles with. I’m unpacking it now. And it’s so challenging 😥 but when you said something about desiring a closer relationship with God, and God showing you parts of yourself that you wouldn’t have been able to see, I’m going thru that now and it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I just wanna get to the other side already but I also know it doesn’t work that way 😮💨😭
I needed to hear this. Thank you.
I’m so proud of you!! This is great work. I love it !!
Not you reading me DOWN. You wanting me to cry in the airport is craaazzzyy
Love this content, I needed this!
Wow. I can relate to this 100%. I enjoy my work and I enjoy it never been scared to be alone. This perspective is interest. ❤❤❤
This channel is special.
wow thank you so much
I’m a DA and you are 100% spot on.
it is interesting so many people analyzing her but it is clear she is fully aware of her self work and she is doin the work so she definatli deserves her flowers cux its not easy goin/walkn with god especially when u have such a huge platform and so many temptations
Its cool that people understand their attachment styles, but people sonetimes are attracted to the "wrong" personality or another attachment style that may not be conducive to either emotional needs.
Amen Kojo. God does work on our hearts first
I learned about this in school , I feel I had this type of style
Self love first! Once you exude that you truly get an amazing partner who sees that and just wants to uplift it!!
When I or my kids need something from my partner and I tell him that …. He just stands there for like ….. moments ( acting like he not going to do it ) …. And then he goes ahead n does what I need done. Growing up none of his real emotional needs were met , is that him ….. unintentionally doing to me what was done to him ?
What you said about life tremor and breaking down... listen. You said a WORD.
Damn, the first 15 minutes was a lot🤔
And, then the lower third was like damn!
I could relate to every single thing you said. I’m happy I found your video. I feel seen 😆.
Brilliant insight. This is education right here!!!
.......wow. hefty revelation Sir. I'm learning from you!
This is my style. I want to be secure and I'm reparenting myself.
But mine is more on the negative, I don't expect people to like me and it seems they do and I don't believe it then I try so hard to ruin it because I always believe that they are pretending. I hate being validated.
I'm the rejecter and I hate emotions, I work so hard and find it hard to receive gifts but I do give.
The only validation I need is from myself yet I have this deep seated resentment towards myself and I do sympathize with myself these days.
She is the same person that refuses to date a man with a 9-5. So i dont know..
DEEP, deep. This is what happened in my marriage, in terms of rejection. He described my ex-wife perfectly.
i would also like to add that most people are harboring emotions because of the society we live in it does not give enough support to those experiencing emotional and spiritual awakening to where you may feel u have to hold it in because people may react as if u have some sort of contagious disease. a lot of genuine souls have been tortured because of the environment tht stifles their self expression. being highly sensitive though a gift, can also be a burden in this realm
This is interesting how men want to sit around discussing women. There are plenty of “broken” men who don’t have wives and are also having a hard time dating. Sit and discus your bros and there dating troubles. It’s weird that yall sit and take apart women. Contrary to popular media belief, these men are old and struggling
“Discuss your bros” Amen.
I’m crying because she’s me and I am she 😢😢😢whew this checked me hard.
Same sis! Funny enough I haven’t watched this channel in a long time but I’ve been searching for videos since my counselor told me that this is my attachment style.
I don’t know his educational background but this is one of the best videos I have seen on this topic.
This is great, you should definitely go in depth over more psychological theories. This is a wonderful way to study it but they’re also more ideas at play as well when it comes to Ms B Simone
@@SelfcareForTheMind defo real talk
28:40 was when i was like ...who, me? 👀 I dont always agree with your takes on reality shows Kojo, but this video was very accurate, and I read alot about attachment theory and psychology in general.
Over here casually clicking the link on your bio 😩
By the grace of God
This is a great video as it explained tons and I'm more informed so thank you. Bless!
I am a recovering DA . This resonated way too loudly. Whew 🤦🏽♀️
MMM MM MM! PREACH PASTOR! This is right on time 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 3:23
Can you make this same sort of video for fearful avoidant attachment style?
I am a secure attachment… however a bad partner made me avoidant I could not express myself.. and he try to humble me. I had to break free. Im hoping she gets free.. completely understand her. HE was an avoidant dismissive
Come on Part 2!!!!!!!!
Kojo I agree that 😢her attachment style play's a role. But there's more to this story. Her south node is in Leo north node Aquarius. She should read more on this this will help her understand herself better.
I didn't expect to be canceled out like this 😊😢
In my opinion....if that's the case most black Americans fall under this category 😢this was very insightful tho❤
Think about how she acted after Jackie O passed!!! Period
I love your breakdown of this podcast! ❤
2;28 mannnn that transformation is something!!!
Girl everybody having a hard time with making these men want us, don’t lower your standards no matter what stay strong put God first, stay true to you
Breaking it Down!❤🙌🏿🙏🏿
When u start talking and the British came out 😮 it will never not be shocking to me ❤
This was goooooood
she thought money was the problem and it sadly wasn't. So she's searching for anything she can to feel whole.
Excellent video and really great breakdown! I'm wondering though, how I can book as there are no dates left in October and I can't go to November. Thanks
@@Cassidy248 dates are opening very slowly as I am fully booked clientele wise. Each day a new slot opens
THIS WAS SO GOOD 😢
This A Nassssssssssty Video. 😅 WELL DONE SIR. Subscribed ✅
Ohhhhhhh I never thought I’d have a lot in common with B Simone and yet here we are with our issues 😮😅
I have a dismissive avoidance
As a dismissive avoidant, this is spot on 😭😭
There’s someone out there for everyone. She’s annoying though
OMG !!!! 😮 Just wow😢.
I am def afraid of rejection
She’s young, she’s cute, she’s healthy, and she’s somewhat rich.
I need help with this. How can I receive a little therapy?
Go to the link to his therapy sessions.
How can you ( I ) tell which one you are ( I am ) ???? Lolll.
Can you please enable the "save" button in this upload? I need to save this video. Thanks.
This video is so for me.
yall avoidants reach out to this man, he knows what hes talking about.
Ok what if youre not 100% sure of what attachment style you are because you display all of them at different times?
then you are fearful avoidant...sign up for the coaching lets get it popping