No one spoke of narcissism / projection back then. It wasn’t clearly defined, so we grew up believing we were irreparably flawed. The emotional damage is devastating.
I agree. However I was lucky, at my high school I took a psychology class and was able to understand my family better. It helped me understand I wasn't the problem anymore, and my only option was to escape and cut ties as best as I could. Narcissists will never be worth the emotional stress.
@@sheenasilva9591 I was born in the 50’s. No one spoke of such things. I was well into my 30’s before I realized how toxic my environment had been. I adored my mother and couldn’t understand her actions. Life for me played out on egg shells. The irony was that no matter what I did I was never to receive her love or validation.
@@sheenasilva9591 sad but true. As I grieved through my perception of loss, I began to realize the loss was hers. Ironically, they always hurt the ones who have the most love to give.
I grew up in a family of this and its horrifying, like being in a Kafka novel or Twilight Zone episode. When I sense it now in others it's informative but still scary because it means I'm encountering someone who is not well, and they are dangerous. What is especially scary is how common this is and how people can't really be held accountable for it.
It's absolutely exhausting dealing with someone like this. God saved me from a 5yr marriage from a narc. It's simply demonic! A guilty conscience breeds unjust and irrational accusations.
There's a woman doing that to me at work every day. She freaks out on me, just me. And she started doing this when she was a brand new worker and she was corrected about something. She been a really aggressive bully since.
I worked with a person I considered a friend who would tell me I must be lying about some of my life experiences (I was 19 yrs old). I told my mom that my “friend “ didn’t believe me. My mom told me that’s probably because she’s a liar so she accuses me of being a liar. My mom also told me whenever someone accuses you of something, it’s often because they’re the ones doing it.
There's so many crazy evil people out there. People can also withdraw from other people because it's always somebody crazy to deal with and it's not worth that
Projecting is more like assuming that everyone else thinks and therefore behaves like you. This was a confusing definition ! Example: a liar accuses you of lying because they do it all the time. Similarly, an honest person is more gullible.
i get why you mean but that’s not always true. i can spot a lie easily because ive be surrounded by people who did it often around me, but i rarely lie myself.
I am 55 and this has been very difficult to process. It took me so long to even understand what this type abusive behavior is and a bit longer to id it. Excellent explanation. Thank you.
How does one rid themselves of thus behavior and traumatic projections that we've indured for yrs?? Thankfully I'm strong and healing from such un nerving abuse what a daily battle Thank u for ur words 🙏
Whenever the person believes someone else thinking everyone else is better than they're....projecting their insecurities on to the other person. People places or things...is deflecting their fault and failure away from themselves on to other people. 😊
Projection comes when you don't ask the questions and always guesses or assumes,one should always ask what is the requirement before moving forward in any way
Projection can work 2 ways. One is where someone projects their issues on someone else. Now that could be for a couple reasons. 1. It could be because the person projecting isn't even aware of their own issues. 2. Motivated. And the second type is where someone has an image in mind and so they don't see what's actually there. It can be similar to gaslighting. If you know something and state it as such and they respond, "You think_______?" They're not denying it but sneakily they're trying to get you to doubt your position. I constantly run into this and over the years I see it for what it is. It's probably one of the laws of power from some unwise book
My sister used to make pointed comments about how people think they are the smartest in the room and are actually the dumbest. But I don't have an intelligence complex. I don't care if people think I'm smart or dumb. She cares deeply, and is always acting like she knows everything lol.
It is hurtful and causes great harm if we do not understand their suffering. It is awful. Correct adjective when using the word "primitive" defense mechanism.
How can I get a session... I've been through trauma most of my life, now I deal with my children inflicting the same... It's unbelievable that I am still in my right mind!
Now tell us how to interact with it. I find saying out loud MIRROR EFFECTS doesn't work! 😂 Must be some kind of healing and loving response that could be said. RJ Spina suggests saying, "Well that's one way to look at it.."
Yes of course, my ex girlfriend was always playing this game and accusing me of playing games that's how much a crazy she was, these narcissist never win they are just broken individuals with high body count 😂😂😂😂😂😂
No we project our positive emotions onto people all the time. We can like someone who does not like us and we will think they like us because we like them.
@@justinlong2472 Oh yeah, all the women in my family projected superman-type qualities onto the men they wanted as a spouse or even the men born into our family. Sadly, the spouses were just human beings who failed at times but my female relative could not see that they had flaws, instead they projected the flaws onto relatives they didn't like as much (one had ALS, the other was just female, and had the audacity to have an auto immune disorder so she was a downer, and deserved the projection because she was not working hard enough; good people don't get chronic illnesses and thoughtlessly burden the family) and the projections never allowed the boys in our family to grow up to be men. They were/are narcs too, and interestingly, are highly misogynistic (I didn't think Gen Xers or millennials could be misogynistic, hahaha). It's not just about the one person's inability to see reality, it's a family that learns to be that way and everyone has a personality disorder. If you try to get better and do better and want to live a healthy life and not hurt others, well, watch out!
@@kiskakuznetsova503 I totally understand agree and can relate. I appreciate you eloquently expressing your thoughts feelings and emotions. I hope you and yours finds the healing needed. The first step in healing is realizing these things happened for you and not to you go from victim to victory. May peace be upon you. Love
Like when envy narcs call you names that they are themselves, I understand thank you
No one spoke of narcissism / projection back then. It wasn’t clearly defined, so we grew up believing we were irreparably flawed. The emotional damage is devastating.
I agree. However I was lucky, at my high school I took a psychology class and was able to understand my family better. It helped me understand I wasn't the problem anymore, and my only option was to escape and cut ties as best as I could. Narcissists will never be worth the emotional stress.
@@sheenasilva9591 I was born in the 50’s. No one spoke of such things. I was well into my 30’s before I realized how toxic my environment had been. I adored my mother and couldn’t understand her actions. Life for me played out on egg shells. The irony was that no matter what I did I was never to receive her love or validation.
@@sheenasilva9591 sad but true. As I grieved through my perception of loss, I began to realize the loss was hers. Ironically, they always hurt the ones who have the most love to give.
I grew up in a family of this and its horrifying, like being in a Kafka novel or Twilight Zone episode. When I sense it now in others it's informative but still scary because it means I'm encountering someone who is not well, and they are dangerous. What is especially scary is how common this is and how people can't really be held accountable for it.
People can be held accountable for it. Society chooses not to.
You explain so much.. I hope other people find your RUclips because I have learned so much. Thank you
yes. he is AWESOME A TRUE PROFESSIONAL AT THIS AND RELATES GREAT TOPICS
Jim,
I Love Your Beautiful Garden!!
🌹🌼🌷🥀🌻🏵️🌷🥀💮☘️
Thanks, Gale! It helps to keep me sane ;-)
It's absolutely exhausting dealing with someone like this. God saved me from a 5yr marriage from a narc. It's simply demonic! A guilty conscience breeds unjust and irrational accusations.
There's a woman doing that to me at work every day. She freaks out on me, just me. And she started doing this when she was a brand new worker and she was corrected about something. She been a really aggressive bully since.
Is that why their behaviour becomes so extreme when you step back? They have no one to carry their feelings?
YES, currently dealing with this rn
I worked with a person I considered a friend who would tell me I must be lying about some of my life experiences (I was 19 yrs old). I told my mom that my “friend “ didn’t believe me. My mom told me that’s probably because she’s a liar so she accuses me of being a liar. My mom also told me whenever someone accuses you of something, it’s often because they’re the ones doing it.
There's so many crazy evil people out there. People can also withdraw from other people because it's always somebody crazy to deal with and it's not worth that
It’s interesting how well narcissists know themselves because they will accuse YOU of doing what they themselves do.
My sister
Projecting is more like assuming that everyone else thinks and therefore behaves like you. This was a confusing definition !
Example: a liar accuses you of lying because they do it all the time. Similarly, an honest person is more gullible.
Thank you for clarifying with an example. It was appreciated. I wasn’t comprehending what the narrator was saying.
i get why you mean but that’s not always true. i can spot a lie easily because ive be surrounded by people who did it often around me, but i rarely lie myself.
Thank you Jim. You are enlightening me with every video. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
I am 55 and this has been very difficult to process. It took me so long to even understand what this type abusive behavior is and a bit longer to id it. Excellent explanation. Thank you.
The louder they are the more guilty they are
How does one rid themselves of thus behavior and traumatic projections that we've indured for yrs?? Thankfully I'm strong and healing from such un nerving abuse what a daily battle
Thank u for ur words 🙏
I recently subscribed! Wanted to tell you that you offer sound and honest guidance. Thankyou for having this channel.
So basically it's like 90% of political attack ads and half of relationships.
Its 100% what the media did to President Trump when he tried to save the USA from takeover.
Ana's Nin said it best:
"We don't see things as they are. We see them as we are."
Whenever the person believes someone else thinking everyone else is better than they're....projecting their insecurities on to the other person. People places or things...is deflecting their fault and failure away from themselves on to other people. 😊
Oh boy. Dealing with this is exhausting.
Projection comes when you don't ask the questions and always guesses or assumes,one should always ask what is the requirement before moving forward in any way
My mother, my son, my brother and his wife all projected on me. Thankfully, my husband educated on me projection.
Thank you for what you are doing to help others ❤
Projection can work 2 ways. One is where someone projects their issues on someone else. Now that could be for a couple reasons. 1. It could be because the person projecting isn't even aware of their own issues. 2. Motivated.
And the second type is where someone has an image in mind and so they don't see what's actually there. It can be similar to gaslighting. If you know something and state it as such and they respond, "You think_______?" They're not denying it but sneakily they're trying to get you to doubt your position. I constantly run into this and over the years I see it for what it is. It's probably one of the laws of power from some unwise book
Similarly when a child is upset, thus projecting their feelings onto someone…
His definition isn’t accurate 😬
It took me a while to realize oh that’s how he feels
Your shared knowledge is wonderful but I have no idea what you look like due to all the amazing foliage around you. That fence 😻
My sister used to make pointed comments about how people think they are the smartest in the room and are actually the dumbest. But I don't have an intelligence complex. I don't care if people think I'm smart or dumb. She cares deeply, and is always acting like she knows everything lol.
It is hurtful and causes great harm if we do not understand their suffering. It is awful. Correct adjective when using the word "primitive" defense mechanism.
At a point their suffering and recognizing it is mute.
@@artandculture5262Moot. ❤
How can I get a session... I've been through trauma most of my life, now I deal with my children inflicting the same... It's unbelievable that I am still in my right mind!
Set boundaries and stay strong. It's them that are messed up, not you.
my entire life with my narc mom
Story of my life.! 👀😳
Now tell us how to interact with it. I find saying out loud MIRROR EFFECTS doesn't work! 😂 Must be some kind of healing and loving response that could be said. RJ Spina suggests saying, "Well that's one way to look at it.."
❤❤❤
And a narcissist does this perfectly!
awesome. this guy is a PRO
Sounds like you Kevin.
Does this happen with narcissists often? Where they blame you etc...
Yes, this is one of the main defenses.
I been projecting on! Dam.
Projecting. Like the Dems?
Does my mom project onto me in all those ways you described?
Jk, ya she does.
Wow this is a mind blower.
hmm- Mr Trump ?
So when my ex says I am jealous all the time when I see him with another girl, is that projection? When in reality most of the time, I am not jealous.
The left in a nutshell
Can you help me thinking of going into therapy
So when one is projecting on you is that a form of manipulation??
Yes of course, my ex girlfriend was always playing this game and accusing me of playing games that's how much a crazy she was, these narcissist never win they are just broken individuals with high body count 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Sounds like a democrat politician… 😋 or Pelosi or Schiff…
Does it have to be negative always?
No we project our positive emotions onto people all the time. We can like someone who does not like us and we will think they like us because we like them.
@@justinlong2472 Oh yeah, all the women in my family projected superman-type qualities onto the men they wanted as a spouse or even the men born into our family. Sadly, the spouses were just human beings who failed at times but my female relative could not see that they had flaws, instead they projected the flaws onto relatives they didn't like as much (one had ALS, the other was just female, and had the audacity to have an auto immune disorder so she was a downer, and deserved the projection because she was not working hard enough; good people don't get chronic illnesses and thoughtlessly burden the family) and the projections never allowed the boys in our family to grow up to be men. They were/are narcs too, and interestingly, are highly misogynistic (I didn't think Gen Xers or millennials could be misogynistic, hahaha). It's not just about the one person's inability to see reality, it's a family that learns to be that way and everyone has a personality disorder. If you try to get better and do better and want to live a healthy life and not hurt others, well, watch out!
@@kiskakuznetsova503 I totally understand agree and can relate. I appreciate you eloquently expressing your thoughts feelings and emotions. I hope you and yours finds the healing needed. The first step in healing is realizing these things happened for you and not to you go from victim to victory. May peace be upon you. Love
🤏🍄DJT 🎃