Get Over the Guilt of Cheating (This is How)
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- Опубликовано: 18 авг 2024
- In this video, I'm going to show you how to get over the guilt of cheating on your spouse. I'll share with you some tips on how to stop feeling guilty after cheating, how to deal with anxiety and guilt, and how to get over the guilt of cheating in a healthy way.
If you're struggling with feelings of guilt after cheating on your spouse, then this video is for you. I'll show you how to get over the guilt of cheating in a healthy way, so that you can move on and rebuilding your relationship. Watch and learn how to get over the guilt of cheating in a safe and effective way!
Here are 14 tips to help you process your feelings.
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If you’re really struggling to overcome the guilt of your cheating, you will definitely benefit from speaking to a professional who can help you learn from what you did and look toward the future. Here's that link again to our recommended relationship counseling service: www.aconsciousrethink.com/RH-cheating-guilt (Disclosure: this link is to a service we have partnered with. We receive a commission should you choose to make a purchase after clicking on it.)
Honestly this will haunt me. Time helps but I dont see myself 100% forgiving myself any time soon. And I definitely dont want to ever be in a relationship again. Im immensely regretful. I wish I did better.
right there w you 💔😞
I forgave myself.
@@lilbabytearscan you describe your journey? Im going through immense pain and guilt
i got out of an abusive relationship and got into an amazing healthy one a while later. my brain is so used to toxicity and i guess i craved that again. i wish i never hurt my sweet boy, he never deserved it. i wish i could take it all back
Look, I understand that you've recently gone through some significant changes in your relationships. It's clear that you've been through an emotionally turbulent time, moving from an abusive relationship to a healthy one. It can be a shock to the system. The psychological imprint of that toxic past relationship might still be affecting you, making you more comfortable with what's familiar, even if it's harmful. Sometimes, the trauma we carry can make us crave what we know, even when what we know is bad for us. It's always worth exploring how this previous abusive relationship might have set the stage for the behavior you're struggling with now.
You mention feeling a strong sense of guilt and regret for betraying your new partner. It sounds like you're in a cycle of self-sabotage, perhaps undermining this new relationship because its healthiness feels foreign and unsettling to you. This could be rooted in a belief that you don't deserve happiness or stability, feelings often instilled by a history of abuse. This is very common among people who have experienced this kind of trauma. You have a desire to "take it all back," which also suggests a level of self-awareness and a wish to make amends. Understanding and confronting your guilt, and learning how to forgive yourself and others, will be crucial steps moving forward.
If there was one thing I'd recommend, something that you might find beneficial is to engage in some deep trauma processing to get to the root of these issues. Learning to identify your triggers or thought patterns can help you avoid falling into the same pitfalls in the future. You should try and focus on cognitive re-framing techniques to replace your craving for toxicity with healthier understandings of what a loving relationship should look like. I'm sure there are plenty of good sources right here on RUclips just for that. Ultimately, it seems that clear, honest communication with your current partner, coupled with some intensive personal work, could be the keys to turning this situation around, provided both of you are actually willing and know what you want from your relationship.
This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with in my life , my stability has vanished and been replaced with guilt , shame hurt and loneliness, I cheated on my partner and we had a 3 year old boy , I’ve owned and been honest what I’ve done , but she left and got straight into another relationship, I lost my partner and son , tis is the consequences and I’m in a dark place , so much regret!!
My guilts is that i see her suffer for what i have done and that hurt me more and that she now move on with another man without me makes me dies inside but i have reached out to her and we have talk and now she forgive me and in the end we wish each other aonly the best in life. I accepted the truth that she is in a better relationship now and for that reason only is what matters and that’s all I needed to move on. Thank you MOLIKA for your forgiveness and had change me into a better person that i am today.
As a betrayed partner I actually found your video to be very conscientious and helpful. It gave me a little bit of insight into what my partner's frame of mind might have been I think it's important for people on my end to understand what you guys are going through just like the other way. I have to admit I gained a few insights from this video.
Thanks. I was lowering my standards because I felt it was my karma for being a player
Glad to have helped you.
@@aconsciousrethink Can you do one about healthy bonding and the red flags of unhealthy partners?
Great suggestion. Thank you. Press the bell if you are subscribed and I'll put one in for the next month. All videos for this month have already been produced but I'll schedule it in for November and maybe publish some Shorts on the topic this month too.
It probably is your karma
The only thing that bothered me is the phrase "you still deserve love". If it is love from the betrayed partner, then no. It's up to them to choose and decide whether they will continue to love or shut off affection.
My Guilt comes from the fact that I somewhat cheated on my girlfriend of 2 years by having spicy texts with someone else. There was no nudes sent just RP stuff. My girlfriend was sent the screenshots of the messages. I am lucky enough that my girlfriend forgives me and knows what we have is real and special and this was a bad mental period for me.
I can't stop feeling the guilt of what I've done and how ive been so stupid. I have apologised profusely, bought gifts ect but I still feel terrible every single day from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep.
My stomach is in knots and I just feel like scum :(
The same thing happened to me recently, I wasn’t crying because I was caught. I was crying because I hurt my bf. I explained my reasoning and put in that I know it doesn’t justify it. Cheating is a choice and it’s a bad one at that. He admitted he had problems and I admitted my problems. Rn I am putting in effort to fix my mistake and promise to never hurt my partner ever again.
Me too.
It only lasted for 1 minute. I stopped myself and I immediately went to my partner and told her about the problematic behaviour. She broke up with me on the spot. I didn't get a second chance.
I'm absolutely devastated. I don't feel like what I did merited a breakup. I feel I did the right thing by coming to her and telling her.
But I accept her decision. I'm just really sad now.
Man I’m in the same boat bro . Shoot me your instagram if you have one bro I’m going through it rn and it’s bad
@boots I’m here because I cheated on my gf of 7 years on and off throughout the relationship. Eventually it ended up with me falling in love with a psychopath that left me in pieces on the bathroom floor having a panic attack, drunk and suicidal.
I am not saying you and I are the same or that you will do as I did, I just wanted to share with you a warning.
I see in your comment things that I used to do. I used to diminish the cheating. I never actually met anyone in person it was only over the phone. It was never emotional (until the last one) it was only physical. I was lying to myself to cope with the guilt. Doing anything that you would not want your partner to know about while knowing you are not supposed to do it is cheating.
I would beat myself up, beg for forgiveness, promise to never do it again, delete social media for a while, continue to watch porn obsessively and repeat the cycle.
I suggest you admit cheating fully and totally and not diminish it. Then dig deep within your psyche and ask yourself why you did it. What lead you to this point. Then work on those things.
For me, (I’m still working on it) I think what lead me this far is - an addiction to porn and masturbation, an addiction to social media, insecurity leading to an overwhelming satisfaction or validation by an attractive female who gives me attention and lastly, a lack of relationship with god and not following the instructions he left us to mitigate behaviors and temptations like this.
I write all this because I don’t want you to end up where I am or where I was. I wish you all the best. God bless.
If someone cheats on you you you have to move on! If you don’t have trust you don’t have a relationship!!! It will never babe the same!! You will never be able to watch them walk out that door and not worry that it might happen again!!!! You deserve to live with out that in your life !!! It will never change it will always be in the back of your mind!!! There are a lot of people out there that can be trusted!!
I wish i watched this before sharing and putting all my guilt and shame on my partner. she was my best friend and i had no one else to share the pain with
Thank you so much for this video ! starting to have hope again and feeling better about myself
I was engaged way too young to a wonderful woman about 20 years ago. I started a new job and started getting attention I wasn't use to from female coworkers and I regretfully gave into that temptation and threw my fiance's life into incredible pain and upheaval. It's one of the worst things I've ever done and there was no excuse for it. I've been faithfully married for 14 years and would never hurt my wife, but I'm occasionally reminded of what I did to my ex fiance. How do you apologize for that?😔
You don’t, hopefully your wife’s days aren’t numbered. Look at it on the bright side, if you didn’t betray your ex you wouldn’t be with your current wife.
I can relate. Awesome question I’d like to try answer.
I remind myself if it didn’t happen she wouldn’t be where she is now, in a better place than what I could’ve provided. I missed out. That’s my fault or my karma. But that’s not to talk down about myself. I was arrogant. I’m humbled. And realize I wasted it. But I also think that if I really do truly love her then I would be really happy for her - even if that meant not being with me, and am, I do, but I also really miss her and our relationship, but maybe that’s me being selfish, but in the same thread I should allow myself that sometimes. I’m human.
To apologize for it I accept the consequence, the reality, wish her well, and stay faithful and give what I can this time to my current partner. That’s probably the best I can do.
@@noeldelarosavlogs I agree with you! Good advice, he should dedicate his time to his current partner. Once you cheat on someone, you no longer existing in their life is far greater than an apology. I don’t understand why people wouldn’t prefer a cheater to own up to that fact that they did exactly what they wanted unapologetically instead of making excuses. We all know that cheaters are the architects of lying and misleading so their Oscar worthy performances of pretending to be remorseful upon discovery are meaningless. I do give them credit for their acting skills and the displays they create.
Our world needs more kind people like you...❤️
Great video! Awesome suggestions, observations and recommendations to help people through the process. Thank you...😊
You are so welcome! Thank you again
I cheated on my exam
😢
Same
who hasn't?
I keep having dreams about my first love we were both young he was older than me and he was about to go into the military. We dated for about 2 years and he was my first everything.We broke up because i was stupid and started seeing someone else. I told him but i really wanted to be with him i never had sex with the other guy but he was so mad that was it. He never talked to me again and it hurt so much. I just realized after keep having these dreams that i really hurt him. He must have loved me and i hurt him. I would love to apologize but there has been so many years that have gone on since then. I have never cheated after that. I have been in my current relationship for 13 years and never cheated but i feel bad because i think of the hurt i caused someone in the past. I wish he knew i never ment to hurt him and hope he is doing well.
I was with my ex for a year but the last 2 months of our relationship weren't going well and i was very emotionally dependent. I would get really depressed when he commented on other girls pictures or i saw he messaged a girl that our relationship wouldn't be forever but never told him that i saw those texts. When things were getting more distant between us i went to a party and drunkenly kissed someone else. It didn't go further but i kinda already made my mind up that it was over. The next day i told him what i did and he broke up with me. He told me that he had been thinking about it too but that what i did was the final straw to make the decision. I still feel really bad over the fact that i kissed someone else because i'm scared my future partner will not trust me or something and even though i'm glad i got out of that relationship because it was kind of toxic, i still feel shame over what i did.
The key elements that stand out for me are emotional dependence, lack of communication, and guilt or shame.
You've mentioned feeling very emotionally dependent on your ex, which can create an imbalance in the relationship and increase feelings of insecurity and vulnerability. This kind of emotional imbalance often prevents people from having a healthy, fulfilling relationship and can even contribute to feelings of depression and anxiety. But you also noted that you saw your ex messaging other girls and making comments that suggested your relationship wasn't permanent, yet you chose not to communicate about this issue with him. Open communication is essential in any relationship, and its absence can cause misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and growing emotional distance.
When it comes to you, you admitted to kissing someone else at a party, which you said was an act born out of the emotional distance that was already present in your relationship. While it's understandable that people sometimes make impulsive decisions under emotional stress, it's also important to consider the consequences. You immediately told your ex about this incident, which suggests that you may feel guilt and remorse for your actions. And that's a good thing. This is what you should feel just don't focus on yourself. This is not about you but about the person you cheated on. And I know that you're concerned that your actions will affect future relationships, worrying that a future partner may not trust you. In my view, this could be a manifestation of shame or guilt you're carrying, which is affecting your self-esteem and self-worth. Which is obviously not good from a much broader perspective.
So taking all these elements into account, there are a few things for you to consider moving forward:
- Reflect on the emotional dependency you felt and identify ways to cultivate emotional independence and self-worth independent of a relationship.
- Learn to communicate openly about your feelings and concerns can make your future relationships healthier and prevent misunderstandings.
- It's natural to feel remorse over mistakes, but what's more important is learning from them. Consider speaking to a professional to process these feelings and learn constructive ways to cope. We have a link in the description for that.
- Your actions in one relationship do not define you as a person or dictate the course of all future relationships. It may be helpful to be upfront about your past, using it as a learning experience to build trust in future relationships.
Remember, the path to emotional well-being often involves acknowledging one's mistakes, learning from them, and taking constructive steps to make better choices in the future.
Good luck Zenya Jones
It's not a mistake it's a choice, stop making infidelity like it's nothing
You know, this comment seems simply first but the more I looked at it the more I realized there was something deeper at play. I don't wanna assume that you have been a victim of infidelity but perhaps it is one of your fears, either generally or due to the current state of your relationship.
But let me offer another perspective - let's look at it from a perspective of the target audience of this video.
If you're the one grappling with guilt over cheating and you encounter a comment like "It's not a mistake it's a choice, stop making infidelity like it's nothing," it might hit you quite hard emotionally. Your comment seems to carry a heavy moral judgment, insinuating that cheating is an intentional, immoral act, rather than something more complex. This kind of black-and-white thinking could stem from strong beliefs about the sanctity of relationships or even from personal experiences with infidelity. While the comment might aim to discourage trivializing such a serious breach of trust, its confrontational tone lacks empathy and compassion, elements that are often crucial for growth and healing.
My problem with your comment is that it doesn't take into account the complex web of emotions, circumstances, and sometimes even impulsivity that can lead to cheating. People are complicated, and while the act might be the same, the motivations and underlying issues can vary widely. Sometimes, people cheat because of unresolved emotional issues, cognitive dissonance, or as a misguided attempt to find a missing emotional connection. Other times, it's a result of poor impulse control. None of these reasons excuse the behavior, but understanding them can be a step toward preventing it in the future.
And look, if your are that person, if you're already feeling guilty, encountering such a judgmental perspective may exacerbate your feelings of shame, making it even more challenging for you to navigate a path toward atonement and personal growth. Instead, a more therapeutic approach might focus on exploring the underlying reasons behind the cheating, offering insights that could prevent future lapses and help you make amends. While acknowledging wrongdoing is crucial, understanding the "why" behind your actions offers a roadmap to becoming a better partner and a better person.
So perhaps before you cast the first stone, think about the implications your actions could have on people's lives.
After all, you may one day find yourself in a similar situation.
@aconsciousrethink I am a victim, and since I talked with my ex about the issue I understand that there where problems in the relationship from my end also but this behaviour is disgusting, you can talk with your partner about the issues to see if you can fix them , if not then just brake up. Why should I go to therapy and live with this pain because of something she did? While she is out there having fun with the new guy.
@@kananisA75 This video is not for you or for your ex who cheated on you. This video is for those who is taking accountability for what they did and is suffering from guilt, shame and regret. We all do mistakes but that is not an excuse, I have been on both sides, I was cheated on multiple times. I was too was angry and resentful to the person who cheated on me. And now I found myself being the same person who hurt me in the past. I have learned every person's experience is unique and I am in no place to judge, because someday I might find myself being the same.
technically mistake means a wrongfully or misjudged decision. i think you’re thinking about accident. it doesn’t happen by accident but it can certainly be a mistake
As a betrayed I see where this guy's comment is coming from. We betrayed feel like this. But for me it's been years since the infedelity and I totally understand this doesn't happen in a vacuum. There are things going on with the betrayor. No one gets married and thinks " hey. In two years I think I'll mess around on him". No one. As a betrayed, if you can gain insight into your unfaithful partner it will indeed help in both of your recoveries.
I wallowed in addiction for a decade over it. I had other relationships and didnt cheat, but I was chasing a feeling in the second, and a bit of a lazy ass in the third. Had a couple other interactions, but I remember how beautiful that first one was - it wasnt perfect and maybe it wouldnt have lasted, but I regret how it ended. I was the last guy people would expect to cheat, and lowkey Im concerned I influenced the local dialogue around this stuff.
I'm not hung up on getting her back - but we were both neurodivervent creatives and that blueprint of support and vulnerability heavily influences my preferences today. After a 4 year dry spell I had a lot of loneliness but I also discovered that I am profoundly picky... being white-passing mixed race I'm an acquired taste to begin with, and being picky in terms of values and culture means I'm simply not romantically interested in the majority of people.
Physicality is a factor, but its only the tip of the iceberg in determining compatibility.. values and ethics can throw out any surface level signifiers like physicality and body language that seem to be the baseline for the fast paced nature of modern dating...
Pls don't judge me.. but what if u can't choose between the two and u can't loose the!💔
Helpful video!
Thank you Ava.
I feel guilty when i think about them... 😖
Live and learn, I guess. You can only beat yourself up for so long.
I developed into a loner after it. Easier as a guy, cause if you don’t give attention, you won’t get it.
Can you elaborate on your situation more?
Soooo I'm a bad person but I should just convince myself I'm not got it....
i got cheated on twice in a row. the first one promised she would get help and shes been talking to a therapist for many years in a row. proud of her and hope she gets a good life without me. the second one is in complete denial about everything that has happened and actively wants to be a *bad* person and tear her life apart. not my interpretation, she actively said so. shes a husk of who she was and i hate it. shes into yet anoter abusive relationship now. ive never been disapointed this muchin anyone before
I was with my baby mama for 3 years and she said I cheated on her 8 times texting other girls, made her feel like she wasn’t good enough so a week after we split she’s with someone else. I realize now I much I hurt her but I wish there was still time to go to consoling together, I just want to fix my lack of discipline, the fact I kept acting on impulse when I knew it was wrong. I’m going to start therapy soon I just miss her so fucking much and I feel like I ruined the only good thing to come into my life but she wants nothing to do with me now and I understand
It sounds like you're going through a tough time and are reflecting on your past actions. Acknowledging your mistakes and seeking therapy is a commendable step towards personal growth. While you can't change the past, you can learn from it and improve yourself for the future. It's important to respect her decision if she wants to move on, as hard as that may be. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself, not just for the sake of relationships, but for your own well-being. This is an opportunity for you to understand your impulses better and develop healthier habits. Remember, healing and growth are processes, and they take time. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate through this.
My ex was a serial cheater. He cheated on every serious girlfriend he ever had. He gets to say it’s in the past? My broken trust is not in the past. My broken trust is in the present, and may never fully heal. I don’t think cheaters should let themselves off the hook. Especially people who do it repeatedly. This actually really made me angry. They need to integrate those lessons in the present. They deserve to carry guilt for what they have done.
I agree. And not only will I never fully trust again, but she gave me HPV. That's for life, even if I never have another breakout. She let some other guy's filth into her body and then brought it home to me in our bed. She should feel torment for the rest of her life for what she did, but she said she's forgiven herself and moved on. I don't ever get to move on from the damage she caused. I want to end my life because of it.
I may be totally wrong about this but it seems that you're grappling with a lot of complex emotions, and it's understandable given what you've been through. Your experience with a serial cheater has deeply impacted your views on trust, forgiveness, and accountability, to the extent that you're generalizing your feelings onto all cheaters. It sounds like you're carrying ongoing emotional trauma; your trust isn't just broken in the past tense but continues to be broken in your present life, with fears that it may never fully heal. This suggests that the betrayal you've experienced has long-term, perhaps even lifelong, implications for your emotional well-being and ability to trust.
You express a strong sense of anger, a need for accountability, and a resistance to the idea of letting cheaters "off the hook." This anger likely stems from your sense of injustice or unfairness; you seem to feel that the emotional burden you're forced to carry should be shared by the one who inflicted the pain in the first place. Your struggle with the notion of forgiveness is apparent. While you may intellectually understand that people can change or learn from their past actions, emotionally, you're finding it hard to reconcile this idea with the deep emotional pain and betrayal you've felt.
Lastly, your thoughts point to a specific moral or ethical perspective, wherein you believe that wrong actions, like cheating, should bring about lasting guilt for the perpetrator. This seems to come from a belief that negative actions should have lasting consequences that aren't just suffered by the victim, but also by the person who committed the act. Look, in a therapeutic context, these emotional layers would be ripe for exploration, to help you better understand your feelings and potentially find ways to heal or at least cope with your past experiences. Whether it's moving forward or finding some form of closure, your goal should be to help yourself navigate these complexities so they don't continue to affect your future relationships and overall sense of well-being.
Good luck
Is there anyway we can privately talk? I loved the video but I need a little more please.
Hi, if you loved that video then you may find our latest video on the same topic even more helpful. Unfortunately there is no way to speak privately but that's something I would still reserve for specialists such as the Relationship Hero that we work with. Link is in the description. They have amazing results and virtually everyone whom we recommended the service has come back pleased with the choice and the positive effect it has had on their lives.
Cheated on him sfter 3 years of relationship it sucks i feel like dying idk when did i turn so evil i feel devastated
It's clear you're feeling a lot of guilt and pain over your actions, which is a sign that you understand the gravity of what happened. Cheating can be a complex issue, often stemming from unaddressed needs or unresolved issues in a relationship or within oneself. So before you go completely blaming yourself, try and sit down with your partner and examine your relationship. Not to offload your responsibility for your actions but to examine the contributing factors and how to move forward in that relationship or any other in the future.
It's important to confront these feelings and understand why it happened. Equally, self-reflection is crucial, but so is self-compassion. While you can't undo the past, you can learn from it and make amends where possible. Remember, healing from this will take time, both for you and for those affected by your actions. Taking responsibility and committing to personal growth is a positive step forward. Just make sure that you give your partner the time they need as this healing process must be primarily about them.
i hurt him and ruined his prescription of love, I'm mental and he always pushed me away ignoring me and breaking up with me constantly and sometimes I just needed another person to talk to I shouldn't have talked to another man behind his back, i hate myself now and i dont feel ill ever get over it im non stop crying i want him back but i ruined it
I feel bad from breaking my partner's hard. My biggest guilt is not for cheating but it is because I break his heart. I was confused how do I show him that I actually regret on what I did? i already set my mind that I don't want to cheat my next relationship. Still I want him only in my life. He already have new relationship
I hope y’all hurt still by cheating on others, because that is unforgivable. Take the responsibility and the people you hurt deserve a apology
Holy shit, this is good!
Thanks for helping me cope with my hard time!
If you’ve been cheated on. Do not listen to this video. You will feel like you’ve been gaslit.
Hi, if I may pitch in, this is a bit harsh don't you think? First of all, the video is clearly not intended for you but for people who are in need of some advice due to the unfortunate actions they may have taken in their relationships. Your comment is akin to a wife of an alcoholic barging into an AA meeting and having a go at its members or participants further accusing them or discouraging them.
But look, I get it. Based on your comment I can tell that you've experienced the pain of being cheated on and are concerned that the video in question may exacerbate the emotional turmoil for others in similar situations. You use the term "gaslit," which refers to a form of emotional manipulation where someone is made to question their own reality or feelings. This is not it.
It sounds like you feel the video could have this effect on people who've been cheated on by focusing on alleviating the guilt of the cheater without adequately addressing the hurt and betrayal felt by the person who was cheated upon. This is obviously further guilt-tripping and a sign of an unbalanced approach that can make the victim of cheating feel invalidated, as if their pain is secondary or even irrelevant.
When it comes to the matters of the heart, it's a crucial point that while the emotional fallout of cheating affects both parties involved, the path to resolution and emotional well-being is different for each.
Advice geared towards alleviating the guilt of the one who cheated may not-and probably should not-be the same advice that helps someone recover from the trauma of being cheated on.
In addressing sensitive topics like infidelity, it's essential to be mindful of the varied experiences and emotional needs of all parties involved. The failure to do so can risk causing more harm than good.
THIS VIDEO IS CLEARLY NOT FOR YOU.
YES.
Um...idk where you feel like you've been gaslit? I'm a betrayed spouse who decided to stay...I myself looked up this video to try to better understand my husband's pain and to share with him because I cannot help him with his incredible amount of guilt and shame he is carrying....but I still want to at least try to have compassion. I thought this video was very helpful as there arent many videos out therefor unfaithful partners to help them navigate their own pain. It's mostly all geared toward helping the betrayed....which is really sad because it was their own issues and their own pain that caused them to stray in the first place and when they do come clean they can barely find any resources to help them heal to make sure they never do that again. The only thing I didn't agree with in this video is that she kept calling infidelity a "mistake"...which it isnt. It's a CHOICE. A mistake is accidentally leaving the coffee pot on when you leave the house...infidelity is a very bad very selfish CHOICE. Other than that, this video was outstanding. I'm also finding that a lot of betrayed partners, even those who choose to stay, are so bitter that they cannot have compassion for their wayward partner at all so videos like this...that try to address the pain on the offending side always has multiple bitter betrayed partners in the comment section putting their two cents in as to why their partner is undeserving of ANY kind of help. They'd rather see a video degrading their partner and validating their hateful lust for vengeance.
I'm looking for advice on how to make things right with someone after being a jerk to him. This isn't about cheating, but making amends to a worker of mine, who I was kind of harsh on. I was right in some ways, but I was wrong in others. Would anyone be interested in hearing my story and sharing their opinion?
Share your story and we can make a video on the topic which you may find helpful
@@aconsciousrethink I’ll share my story, but please don’t make a video about it. I honestly just want your opinion and advice from here
I spoke to my worker about his outgoing, tactile behavior at work. Told him he shouldn't touch anyone without consent. Just handshakes. I said we needed the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment, that he pretty much shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school. How he shouldn't tell his stories because they may be inappropriate to some degree to the other workers; funny to him only. I think he’s about 25. He seemed pretty quiet and uncomfortable during my speech. Answered a question or two with a nod and headshake. Then, that early evening, from my apartment’s window, I saw him almost get hit by a truck. It was SO close. It could’ve kiIIed him, had he not gotten out of the way in time.
And if it had, our last moment together would’ve been in the office, when I was somewhat disrespectful. That hypothetical made me realize I was a jerk. I should have been more delicate and sensitive when speaking to him at work. More filter, less touching at work? Yeah, but compromise would've been fine. Like, only touching friendly coworkers he gets along great with. It's perfectly natural to causally touch or tap people *without* it being creepy. He never meant to be that word. He just needed some limits. I should’ve shown more patience and respect. A brief talk in the hall, not formerly in the office with his boss present. And I shouldn’t have asked her if there anything she wanted to add. Plain insensitive. The guy never meant any discomfort or harm. He deserved better from me.
Please let me know your thoughts as soon as you can. I’ve shared rhis story before; people wouldn’t respond back. It would really make my day if you communicate promptly, next to making things right with the guy.
Have any of you guys changed like what you promised to your significant other? I’m trying to forgive my partner for cheated on me. But I’ve always had the belief that cheaters always be cheaters
It all depends on the circumstances. First of all, you need to know the reasons why they cheated and whether they regret it. Cheating during a drunken night is not the same as intentional. Equally relationship problems, lack of intimacy etc are not the same as someone planning it just because they want a different kind of attention. Then you also need to ask yourself, whether your relationship is so weak that nothing that you and your partner have gone through together adds up to more than a single mistake. Is that infidelity that defines your relationship and decides its future or is it just a blip, an unfortunate one, but compared to the shared experiences over the years, it's not much in comparison. These are the questions the two of you need to answer....
@@aconsciousrethink Calling cheating a blip to make it sound smaller does not do that. It's rather disingenuous. Also character assassinating the entire relationships state as "weak" if it doesn't get past cheating is pretty close to gas lighting. Cheating is a huge deal. If one is to get past it regardless of how it happened, acknowledging that this isn't a tiny rock but a mountain is very important. No one should be absolved of the weight of the offense and even the forgiveness of it shouldn't be an action where you passively let it go
I did. She didn’t take me back and it was extremely painful still feel it. Loosing someone I love so much gave me a living nightmare. I hurt her her family and my self.that is something I never want to relive again. I still take therapy for it. If the love was real repent remorse and guilt are gona be your best friend for a long time.not worth repeating
I hope ts help man
I hope so too
Past is in the past ? Not . In case of cheating woman , her mind and her body will be remember forever the man with whom she cheated . Sorry . Also it is common experience that by s.e.x with third party man woman is cutting off emotional/ energetic cord with her partner.
For real this video is just for cheaters to cope
I hope I die slow.
Yuh no u don’t deserve any of this at all .. remember wat it was and how it use to be .. remember the times yall laughed together , remember the moments you all shared , now think if u could go back would u make the same decision u did
I’m currently struggling with hypersexuality and I’m hanging on for dear life not to cheat on my beautiful girlfriend.
Hypersexuality often serves as a coping mechanism for underlying issues such as stress, anxiety, depression, or other emotional or psychological challenges. Understanding the root cause may help you in targeting solutions for your current state of mind more effectively.
Look, you seem to recognize the value of your relationship (you used a phrase "my beautiful girlfriend") and yet feel compelled toward behaviors that could jeopardize it. This internal conflict could be causing you significant stress and emotional turmoil.
At the same time I sense some obvious fear of consequences. I mean yous phrase "hanging on for dear life" suggests to me a sense of urgency and fear regarding the potential repercussions of giving into your hypersexual urges. This fear could serve as both a protective factor keeping you from acting on the impulse but also as a source of further stress which could fuel your hypersexual needs.
At the end of the day, everything is about morality and ethics. You have to realise that your dilemma poses questions about your personal values. You're grappling not just with impulse control but with issues of fidelity, loyalty, and the ethical implications of possibly betraying a partner's trust. If you're viewing your hypersexuality as a "struggle," it may indicate that you feel it is at odds with your self-image or how you want to be perceived by others, including your girlfriend.
But the truth is, without more context, it's hard to say more. Based on how you describe your girlfriend as "beautiful" but don't mention any emotional qualities could be an indicator of how you are currently viewing relationships and intimacy- perhaps more superficially than you might like to admit, even to yourself.
Simp
@@jamesv.pliskin2448 Nah bc I don’t go seeking it, its just coming to me and you can only say no to so many offers.
my ex of 5 years cheated on me 3 freaking times and I was in shambles lmaoo. he knew damn well I had serious issues with insecurities but he cheated still. my heart was torn into thousands of pieces and I had never felt so not enough in my life. I decided to forgive him tho. he left me 😂😂😂😂😂 hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha funny storyyyy
I understand that the experience you've gone through is deeply painful and confusing. Five years is a long time to invest emotionally in a relationship, and to have your partner cheat on you three separate times must feel like a betrayal of a sacred trust. The emotional wound is deepened by the fact that he knew about your pre-existing insecurities. Cheating in such a context isn't just betrayal; it can feel like a targeted assault on your vulnerabilities, magnifying your sense of worthlessness and inadequacy.
The language you use, about your heart being "torn into thousands of pieces," powerfully conveys the depth of your emotional pain. It's devastating, and feeling "small" reflects how this experience has likely impacted your self-esteem and self-worth. Your decision to forgive him, despite all this, is complex. Forgiveness can be both an act of self-preservation, a way to release yourself from the burden of hate and resentment, and an emotional gambit to reclaim a sense of control or dignity in a situation that's made you feel utterly powerless.
However, even after you took that step, he left you. This can feel like yet another layer of betrayal and abandonment, raising questions about your own worth and desirability, and adding another layer of pain to the already existing emotional trauma.
From a therapeutic standpoint, acknowledging this hurt is the first step in healing. Your feelings are valid, and THIS IS a form of emotional trauma. It's crucial not only to address the immediate pain but also to explore your pre-existing insecurities. These vulnerabilities are part of your deeper emotional landscape, and understanding them can provide valuable insights for healing and future relationships.
It's a journey, one that involves rebuilding your sense of self, independent of your relationship with your ex, and redefining your boundaries and expectations for future relationships.
Look, the road ahead may be challenging, but it's also an opportunity for you to rediscover yourself and build stronger, more respectful relationships moving forward.
Stay strong and move on.
Do you do counseling?
We do counselling in collaboration with Relationship Hero (www.aconsciousrethink.com/RH-cheating-guilt). We've been working with them through our website for a long time and all of our viewers, either here on the channel or on the website have always been very pleased with the service and the flexibility it offers them.
@@aconsciousrethink thank you very much I appreciate you 🙏🏽
Ohh well I just killed some one 5 seconds ago but now 5 seconds later it is literally in the "past" so I shouldnt punish myself for it. Like wtf is that mindset?
Thank you for your feedback
@@aconsciousrethink Your statements/arguments do sound a bit poopoo if I can be honest as it does sound like that what you're saying is that if someone committed a bad act lets say for example genocide of a entire people they should not punish themselves for it ever.
@@MasterSpira I totally understand where you are coming from. Obviously, you are going into extremes a bit but I do get what you are trying to say. That being said, cheating on someone and genocide are not even in the same league. But it is clear to me that you have been burnt by people once, twice, maybe several times in your life. In that case, you should watch some of the other videos focused on reading the signs or even the potential partner to prevent such things from occurring again. All that we are trying to say is that things are sometimes more complex and not everything can always be reduced into, "you've cheated, i.e. you are bad or evil". Sometimes, the relationship itself degrades to the degree when cheating is no longer even cheating but rather a slow break-up. When cheating may be a direct result of the state of the other partner and their gradual resentment, diminished sex life etc. Sometimes, it is just a mistake like a drunken night etc. Things are not always black and white. To be honest, the B&W sort of scenarios are actually quite rare when it comes to relationships. If there is something you would like to discuss or learn more about, let us know or even suggest a topic and we will do our best to create a video and hopefully answer your questions that way. Alternatively, visit our website. There are tons of articles that may well answer your queries or worries straight away.
Now you've just gone mental with that comment. NEVER go full mental. Ever.
The reason why they emphasize that it's in the past is because you cannot change what you did in the past. It's already there. Do not generalize, human relationship is very complex and you're not so sure that everyone just gets away with it. I have been on both sides, guilt, shame, and regret is just as heavy to carry. For your contentment's sake, a person who takes genuine accountability and feel real guilty for me example, I feel like I don't deserve anything good in life because of what I did. I punish myself with self harm not letting any person involved know of course. There are people who punish themselves so don't generalize.
I miss him so much I don’t know what to do with myself
Missing someone deeply can be incredibly tough. Regardless of your age. You gotta acknowledge and accept your feelings without letting them overwhelm you. Try to channel your emotions into activities that are positive and fulfilling for you, like hobbies, exercise, or spending time with friends and family. I'm sure there are other people you can channel it into. Remember, healing takes time, and it's okay to feel sad. Gradually, try to focus on the present and your own well-being, rather than dwelling on the past. It's also beneficial to set small, achievable goals for yourself each day to keep moving forward. Remember, it's about progress, not perfection.
You should feel guilty for cheating. You've completely destroyed your partner's ability to trust for the rest of their life. They'll never be able to fully trust another person again, least of all you. You should carry that guilt to the grave.
You should carry every horrible thing you've ever done to the grave
@@ITheStoic Some things can be rectified, reconciled, made whole. You cannot restore a betrayed person's trust. They'll never be able to trust again until they die, not like they could before. So why should you be able to live without some cost?
@@Malumbrus you don't know that. people do believe in forgiveness. no one's perfect.
@@ITheStoic Forgiveness does not restore the trust. Even if it's 99.9% trust, it'll still never be 100%. Any time their lover, even if it's a new relationship, leaves the house or isn't with them, they will always have in the back of their mind that this is possible, that it could be happening, and to be prepared for it.
@@Malumbrus that can happen with anyone
WTF
Thank you for your feedback
@@aconsciousrethink Whatever... Right?
@@johnscottieferguson9964 you clearly have a bad experience. Please share it and help us understand.
@@aconsciousrethink You're funny, i'm looking for someone to guide me acting silly like that hahaha
One should really lack self-worth to forgive and take back a cheater. And no, if your partner cheated on you they do not deserve your love, respect and understanding. I'm not saying they should be mistreated but they don't deserve your kindness either. Cheating is not a mistake. It's a active decision. You just don't happen to go out and suddenly f*ck. It's a choice that takes time to do. If you cheated, have some respect for your partner, leave and do better with the next time. With that said, a lot of people rightfully wouldn't date ex cheaters. Maybe try other ex cheaters? After all like attract like 😉
This video and especially the comment section is laughable. Y’all did it bc that’s who you are 🤷🏼♂️ if that wasn’t who you are, you wouldn’t have done it.
It’s bizarre to baby and coddle people who have committed harmful acts. Be honest and real with yourself and you will gain the strength to do so with others as well. Isn’t that what got you in this mess?
Check out the latest video on this topic: rb.gy/6scec
PLZ HELP ME! I cheated on my bf yesterday n i hv did dis b4 n he forgived me bt ydy d guy he himslf keept coming at me no matter how much i said no.i knw i said NO bt it still is my fault i knw tat n i feel terrible 4 it. i am searching fr how can i surpass the guilt of it. i wont do dis again i m firm on it but i feel jst soo bad fr my partner really but i lov him soo much.i cried yesterday fr wt i did. I will be seeking gods forgiveness fr as much as time i can i wll keep doin it. I will really not do dis again but god plz forgive me n bless my bf, we r clear on d fact tat we not gonna get married n stuff its jst go wid the flow but tat surely dosnt mean i wud do smthng lik dis. i hav no courage to tell him at ol. But i feel soo horrible really. I really wont do it again n m soo sry to him. I m always dis senstive n feel bad fr others n tats d immense amount of guilt i m having rite nw. I will reent 4 my mistake everyday to god n also in my prayers wil ask my partner to forgive me 'i'm really sorry i really wont do dis again n he really means soo much to me' irl really wil b consistent abt it n ask fr boths forgiveness i really feel soo bad 😞😞😞😞
Ok look. Stop with the god stuff. That's the first. Even if he existed I don't think he'd care about your cheating that much. This is something that you have to deal with rather than offload it to some supernatural beings. You have two choices, you either tell him or you don't but if you do, don't do it because you are trying to ease yiur own conscience and your guilt. That's just unfair. If you feel guilty that's good. It means you most likely regret your actions but you need to carry that. That is your stain to carry. Your load, your reminder to do better. That being said what's done is done. Now you have to focus on the future and how to put your boyfriend first and your relationship before your own selfish needs. If I were you, I'd keep that cheating to myself and try to do better in the future. Nobody is perfect and nobody is impervious to misconduct and a little sin here and there given the right circumstances. What matters though is how we deal with it and how much we are willing to change and try to be better...
Did you confess? I also feel the guilt