What is ONEitis and the Soulmate Myth? |
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- Опубликовано: 27 янв 2025
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What is The Soulmate Myth? | A Primer
THE RATIONAL MALE - Rollo Tomassi
On today's show:
• What is the Soulmate Myth?
• How is the Soulmate Myth linked to "ONEitits"?
• Classic Romanticism and the Soulmate
• How does the ideal of the Soulmate perpetuate Monogamy?
• Why is the Soulmate a dangerous ideal for men today?
• There are no "Quality Women"
• Good Ones, bad Ones, but no ONE.
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I have come to realize that when it comes to romantic partners, do not hold on too tightly. People come and go. Appreciate the time you have spent with them, take in the positive, drop the negative and move on.
I dont mean to be offtopic but does any of you know of a method to log back into an Instagram account..?
I stupidly lost the account password. I would love any tips you can offer me!
@@zyairekarson3334 I’m sorry, I’m not going to help you log in to your s.o.’s Instagram account. That’s just not right. Move on.
😜
Agreed
But how to do that, a week ago my ex dumped me to date with another guy. Thoughout the relationship she was almost obsessed with me but now it is the opposite and I just stupidly can't get over it.
@@ferit7418 The longer it takes you to move on, the longer you’ll be miserable. Look up betrayal trauma here.
A lot of us had Oneitis at some point. Taking the Red pill cured it.
@John Jourdan Forevermore
Guilty!
If only it was that easy
Rollo is truly one of the greats!
pay attention, he'll make you better. as with the rest of the rule zero group.
@ THIS
@ RT to the next wayward blue pilled soul:
*We can rebuild him..*
@@colnohman5255 absolutely. or help him rebuild himself rather. teach him how to fish rather than give him the fish. cheers !
@ True. Rollo can only show him the door..
*"You have to open it yourself"*
Great video. It's criminal that Rollo has 36.1k subscribers whilst having written the Red Pill treatise, whereas others who merely parrot what he has written have 100k+
Who has more than 100k subscribers though? I think the content on this channel doesn't lend itself to the masses though. This particular video is unusually digestible. The majority seem to be long form, over an hour in length.
HeavyMetalisLaw he didn’t come up with this shit or say it best. Oneitis was not explained well here.
It doesn't matter. This isn't about Rollo and what he deserves. The red pill is bigger than 1 person, it's a revolution against the blue pill society
"You BUILD a relationship. You don't FIND a relationship". ~ Rollo Tomassi
The saddest part are young fellas who end themselves because of girls. Personally, I've had a friend who jumped under a train because his girl dumped him after prom. His life just started, but this crappy mythology (and stupid parents pushing it) won.
Except for the hum and crackling I really like the format
ONEitis strikes me as a byproduct of scarcity mentality as it pertains to women. When a man finally gives in to the unplugged mindset that high SMV women are plentiful, and high value men are scarce, with the mindset 80% of women desire the top %20 of men. The key simply is to level-up of course and chase excellence, while also understanding as a man our SMV has been devalued in our minds, by society's messaging of masculinity. "Father! The sleeper has awakened!!"
Show this comment some more love and give this man a cookie
The myth of the soulmate/ oneitis chapter literally saved my life after breaking up with my ex wife.
I have a one soulmate, and that is me
I like this. 👍Its to the point. When a friend is going through a breakup he wants to hear someone's words that know what they're talking about. Sometimes they don't feel like reading. So a short video like this can lead them to the book. 🤘
I like this type of format, long videos are nice as well but these are very convenient. Finally we get to see rollo play some guitar
You may have saved my life today with this video. I bought into all of it, and worse, circumstance unfolded in such a way that I was convinced it was coming true. My liver started failing at 20 years old for no apparent reason. Having a NDE inspired me to go back to church where I met the pastor's daughter who became my one-itis. At one point her father said that "I was like a son to him and his wife." I grew up without a father so you can imagine how hard this hit me. I was convinced with every part of me that the whole thing was some sort of divine plan unfolding. My one-itis was terrifying to her and her shot me down in flames and I did not react well to it. 20 years later, I'm still suffering because of it. I was in absolute despair today until I saw yours and Rich Cooper's videos. I need to find a way to start spinning plates and get rid of this soulmate myth. Thank you
Great format and style. Not a discussion. Just the reality. Quick and dirty
I dated a girl who sent me a text message she will spend the rest of her life with me. Fast forward several months later, she confessed she had a one night stand with an old friend. She was just a plate by the way. Red pill soul mate myth lesson 101!
Ya. They're really gud sales-woman out there..but we'll leave it to all the other blue pilled guys out the there to buy their bullshit..lol
The conversational format on this one was nice.
loving these Red Pill shorts content that dive deep enough into a topic / thought without any banther. Red pill concentrate!
My oneitis is for my soon to be ex wife. And she didn't even treat me that well. I'm just addicted to the chaos and confusion, I gave her all I had and she just discarded me and went on to the next guy. It still hurts 5 months after our separation. She was toxic, but I'd take her back tomorrow. And I hate that I feel this way.
Move on to the next one. That's always an easy way to break the addiction. Move on to the next couple if you're able. Spice up your life. No woman is worth the trauma that comes with oneitis.
Let me add a little context to my last comment. I was in a very similar situation. Had two kids with this crazy woman. It was a roller coaster of the highest highs and lowest lows. Like you said, it's something close to an addiction, that whirlwind of chaos. Caught her cheating, still dealt with her for a bit. Had trouble moving on at first. But, after I finally stopped sulking and moping around I moved on. Best decision of my life. I don't know your life circumstances but your best bet is to find another couple women and start weeding out the worst among the group. Just don't let yourself get another bad case of oneitis, and life will be much easier. Good luck!
@@jamesdjl4359 thanks for this. I'm wanting to move on. I've got a new job and I've joined a gym. I'm trying to co parent whilst not letting it get to me. It's a long process. I wish I didn't have to interact with her, but I get anxious, nervous, guilty even. She's definitely moved on. I'm just finding it hard to move on myself, even though I'm doing better things for myself.
She’s not yours, it was just your turn.
@@fabricio_santana thank you for your encouragement brother, I can safely say I'm out of that crap I felt those months ago. I'm in a much better place! Thank you!
Hey Rollo, thank you for writing The Rational Male! It’s one of the best books for men I ever read.
God bless you man!
My realtionship with my girl in Oct 2019 was cracking. She went to Germany and started pulling away. I was reading Rollo's book then. I told her shes not doing stuff that is respectful. She broke off. I did beta thing of trying to patch up etc. Finally 4 months later I found shes into a 3rd person. Today.. I am building pipeline of 4 to 5 women.... Thanks for the book. It created my breakup and got me opportunity for better/more. Lets see hpw it goes...
You have saved all of us from these terrible non truths
Thank you Rollo
I really enjoyed this format Rollo, you seem extra calm and in a kind of flow state. Great video, hopefully more like this!
I kind miss the old day of that kind of video of Rollo, no drama, no BS, only instructive thing. Still watching till this day though
You have completely changed my thinking 🤔... I only wish I knew this at least 20 years ago.... but better late than never I’m awake now😳
Rollo, this format is phenomenal man. Well done. See you in LV on whatever the new date happens to be, whenever the new date happens to get set.
Great Topic especially in this time of isolation. Thanks Rollo
Great video! I am so glad I read The Rational Male book series and took the Red Pill. Being RP is one of the best things I have ever done for myself. Thanks for putting videos like this out !
This man is a fucking legend.
short and sweet
...yes ...we like this format
This means YOU like this format.
Hey Rollo, I just want to thank you for the amazing help we've all gotten from your books,it's really saving men's lives out here. I had a similar situation, I had one itis but for whatever reason I didn't get it till I was 29 yrs old and with a 38 yr old woman. Now I never had any issues picking up girls, not to show boat but I had girls ask me out all thru jr high/high school but I was still caught up in the "only date 1 at a time" nonsense but even then I never got caught up with a "the one" myth until I was 29 and met that girl, I think part of it was bc of the way I met her, I'm a trucker from South Texas and my truck broke down in Nashville TN summer of 2020 which wasn't new meeting new ppl over the road but for whatever reason I developed emotions over a quick 1 week interaction with that 38 yr old woman. She really messed me up in December of 2022 but your books really helped me get out of this situation and it opened my eyes to spin plates and that I don't have to be monogamous if I don't want to and to adopt some of the way women date but is not told bc it makes them look bad but it has definitely changed my way of life mentally for the better. Thanks again Rollo
There must be something special about me.
Cause just about every police line up I've been in ,its always " THAT'S HIM , HE'S THE ONE "
15-20min is kind of the sweet spot format for me. Seems a lot going 2+ hours lately, which I also enjoy, but it's less convenient. Thanks Rollo.
I've hit multiple views on this post. Short bits like this are great for reinforcement and great for sharing with men who are new to these concepts... more please!
Hey Rollo, This type of educational short video one on one is 100% in your wheel house. I hope you Keep doing them. Great Job!!
These vids are a good compliment to your other videos.
You should hav a millions of subscribers, thank you thomassi!
That's uhh fact
Rollo is my new guitar hero
Diggin the “Solo Rollo” shows brotha!
I keep waiting for Pat to interrupt...🤣
memphis rusty I know they’re good friends and I wish Pat the best and a good recovery but I agree, he constantly interrupted Rollo and spoke over him... it would get irritating.
really liked the concise nature of this video. very informative and to the point, which is great. thanks for the content you put forth to men. plus, you seem a little more easy going in the jam space, I have a similar jam space in which I also rehearse with fellow musicians, and I must say, it puts me at ease, which seems to be the case for you as well. take care and thanks again Rollo.
“ She’s not yours it’s just your turn” absolutely true
That's a great point about monogamy I can see how marriage and idealizing that relationship, wanting to find that ideal person to marry, reinforces a belief or the value in believing in the one or soul mate ideal
I was told and agree that you have to know what the value of a woman is. That is three things a woman can really only do for a man. Sex, children, and domestic relations/ comfort. Those three things. Defining what a woman can actually do for you is another way I find that helps make clear the value of the woman and avoids the soulmate or idealization trap because many woman can provide these three things. Some better than others of course but at the end of the day sex, children and domestic comfort keeps the mind in check and helps to avoid the trap of idealiZing the relationship with BS like soulmates and "the one".
Dude! Rollo can shred. Respect man.
And he can play guitar really good too!
I love this, if you think about it, even the Bible never hints you about "the one", in fact, if God gave you "the one" he would be trespassing free will, so it feels logical that as a man/woman you have the right to pick whoever you want, and the smart choice is to pick a good partner, and heck, if you want to, pick no one.
Last 5 minutes are pure gold...listen young fellas!!
This is awesome. Like the golden rule as guys we must learn. Anyway if people were stealing or recycling my ideas like how these "red pill gurus" have been doin with Rollos concepts I would probably stop. The fact that Rollo is still helping us with this new material shows that he is here for a purpose. Thank You Mr Rollo Tomassi
Help me Rollo. I’m nearly done with your third book, but the Oneitis is ruining me and has done so for a year now.
Ghost her! You should stop it before you lose years because of pursuing a fever dream.
It’s very rewarding sharing time with one person for a period of time. Especially if you two really get along on different levels. Perhaps we are naturally serial monogamists ? Monogamy is a great thing if you are aware of the potential carnage and/or play the game well.
It's like investing all your money in a single stock for 50 years.
Sure, some may get lucky.
For most it's not a good idea.
This is great insight I can see how we build up the person to the a fantasy soulmate level in order to cope with the reality of commiting to a monogamous relationship it's like a coping mechanism to deal with or suppress the attraction and urge to have intimate relationship with other attractive women. Also like you are saying the less game and options a man or woman has the more susceptible they are to this fantasy or idealization because they have less options or chances with potential partners so they inflate the value or specialness of the person to a high level because the supply is so low, so the value goes way up beyond normal rational valuations
This video is the shiznit! Great content.
Glad he pulled all the way down to 21 minutes but you can see him zone-out and back-in again from time to time
I love these 20 minute quick hitter videos
I like the new format
I wish I could grow out my hair like you tomassi! Also I liked this style of vids informative and straight to the point
How do I beat this? I am zero'd out and I feel like my life is gone.
Break-up with her. Look at how you can improve yourself afterwards.
Rollo, can you do a quick lesson video explaining more in depth why dumping a women demonstrates higher value versus being dumped? I get the gist of it just wanted to hear a more in depth version from you, cheers Steve 😊
Steven Turpin this isn’t in depth but in a job you can quit and get a better job unless you can’t and then you may end up fired or shit on.
Great video. Fair amount of hum and some distortion sounds in the recording, like a bad tape / dirty head building up static and then makes noise, calms down, rinse / repeat. Not sure if you are compressing the audio or it is the codec doing that.
..my first wife died of MUSHROOM poisoning... second wife died of MUSHROOM poisoning... third wife died from a fractured SKULL.... She wouldnt eat the MUSHROOMS.
I have the perfect movie recommendation for you “: Seven “... it features Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey I’m sure you’ll appreciate the ending “ What’s in the Box ? “
@@kimm9968WHAT'S IN THE BOXXXX?!
@ Mahayana confidential ..... The Holy Trinity
Great video.
I suggest a topic: The illusion of beta men being good fathers to their children.
Polaridad entre la energía masculina y femenina…
La polaridad sexual entre lo masculino y femenino es una idea que se basa en la noción de que los hombres y las mujeres tienen energías sexuales distintas que se complementan entre sí. A continuación, se presentan algunas de las principales características de la energía masculina y femenina según esta perspectiva:
Energía masculina:
• Es directa y penetrante.
• Es lógica y analítica.
• Es orientada a objetivos y enfocada en la acción.
• Busca controlar el entorno y hacer que las cosas sucedan.
• Se centra en la individualidad y la competencia.
• Es consciente y está orientada a la conciencia.
Energía femenina:
• Es receptiva y fluida.
• Es intuitiva y emocional.
• Se enfoca en el proceso y en las relaciones.
• Busca la armonía y la colaboración.
• Se centra en la interdependencia y la cooperación.
• Es creativa y está orientada a la belleza.
Es importante destacar que estas características no son exclusivas de los hombres o de las mujeres, sino que todos tenemos tanto energía masculina como femenina en diferentes proporciones. Además, estas características pueden ser expresadas de diversas formas en diferentes culturas y contextos sociales.
La idea de la polaridad sexual no pretende encasillar a las personas en estereotipos de género, sino más bien enfatizar la importancia de reconocer y celebrar nuestras diferencias para lograr una conexión más profunda y auténtica en nuestras relaciones íntimas.
Good analysis Rollo, as usual… especially your point about most guys not believing in God, yet paradoxically believing in the concept of a soulmate.
Logically speaking though, one can’t definitively say that soulmates are a myth (or anything else, like God, or freewill etc…), because first, one must
prove that we do not have a soul. And how does one do that? First one must clearly define exactly what a soul is in order to prove that it’s a myth,
and even then, one’s definition could be largely incomplete. Moreover, one can never come up with enough evidence to prove that something doesn’t
exist, because logically, one can never prove a negative, only a positive.
Jordan Peterson has pointed out that polyamorous societies tend to be more violent than monogamous ones, because the Pareto distribution dictates
that only a very select few of the top alpha-men will get all the women, leaving approximately 8o% of the rest of us frustrated and lonely, and therefore
with more energy for causing trouble… like posting obsessively on RUclips ;-)
All that being said, I would certainly agree that many men have sadly swallowed this blue pill narrative, hook, line and sinker, and it’s caused a lot of
damage, even though it has probably served our culture well, up until only very recently.
Ironically though, I actually do believe that we have souls, and that we, perhaps, have many soulmates... lol Now how’s that one for a mindfu*k?
I think the concept of the one is a great idea for both men and women. From there, be humble, be selective and do scrutinize.
More often than not, sex clouds the judgment and would make a person overlook red flags. And then once in an ltr when the honeymoon fades, the arguments and differences inevitably appear. Actually, they were really not all that compatible with each other at the first place except sex was really good.
Yes, build the relationship is important but it's way easier to build it with the right person. The right person is the one with a growth mindset who wants to do right by herself and her partner. I feel it's right to be fully committed and act on courage of conviction once you've found the one and s/he thinks you're the one too and build a family together where there's more acceptance and encouragement than doubts and putdowns.
I dig the idea of shorter, more digestible videos. Although I can go through the long form videos at home and you give great context in those.
Have you thought of adding b-roll video to the shorter videos, similar to what Rian Stone has going on?
Wow! The Shred Maestro. A side of the Rational Male we've never seen! That scale run was amazing! That scratching sound every 9-10 sec? 😫😂😂😁😁😡😡
It's the angry Feminist radar being triggered, looking for a white male to abuse...
bollywood movies did it to me. ridiculous. thank God for men on yt telling us the truth
India is blue pilled af bro
Hey Rollo, been following for some time now and its been enlightening in a lot a realms.
I find a lot of what you are saying to be true but there are also some areas where after thinking a bit I find to have a different opinion.
Please consider the following :
1. I believe that women are opportunist only when there is a deep sense of insecurity in them. If this same sense of insecurity is found in a man he too could become opportunist.
Insecurity- (that if i don't choose this person i might miss my shot at a good life or something)
This insecurity can cause them to settle for a beta and then later feel bored or think that they have made a wrong choice.
Usually for a male- he does not fall in love with someone below his standards and hence a lower probability of resentment later in life.
So women tend to be not content with their partner later is not because they are more opportunist but because they are more likely to settle for someone below their standards.
2. Women are also capable of idealistic love just as a man is.
Observe a mother's love(a large majority, at least). She would do any thing for her child even when the child is a huge liability and love them unconditionally.
Also consider alpha widows as you have mentioned a lot of the times.
3. I believe you don't have to be the baddest alpha to get idealistic love from your woman, you just have to be alpha enough under her standards.
She should feel like she is getting her worth.
4. A woman is aroused by an alpha just as a man would be for a really hot chick, don't you think? So we cant really blame them for that. But we can get this covered by making use of "dread" right?
And as i have previously notified, since there is more probability that a woman has settled below her standards than the other way around. There is a greater chance of resentment for her when she sees a more alpha man.
Rollo I feel that we are overdoing a bit by blameing women, When we should be more focused on getting the message out that men should be more masculine and alpha.
Hey, Rollo just because i have only stated the points that i think differently doesn't mean I am aginst the things you are saying. I was educated and now agree with 80% by and of what you are saying.- only that i need more clarification on these areas.- i am not elaborating on your very good ideas because it would unnecessarily increase text size.
And i also think that a key ingredient for a successful marriage is that both parties thinking they have settled for someone above their worth(dread strengthens this). What do you think?
There is a lot of static in audio especially on headphones and cracking, so you know for next vid. Thanks for the vid tho.
Loving the intro ...Can’t wait to catch up with the latest of the Alpha 5 videos .
Rollo. This was Really Good. More with this format please 🤙🏼
Nice chops Rollo.
Wow!! Love the break down on this one. Rollo you just keep better and better and stay saving mens life’s. No Wonder Woman hate your stuff.
This is the best format. There is too much waffle from others with the exception of Campbell.
Glam rock / metal solo from rollo sounded pretty cool, man of many talents
These short videos are much more watchable.. More please👍
Rollo who's your fave band or artist. You can name 5 if you want. For me its Rival Sons/Earthless for newerish bands. For classic bands. Judas Priest/Led Zeppelin/Heart/AC/DC/Steely Dan/James Brown.
I still think that RATIONAL MALE best part is that it started with Myth buster of "SOULMATE" and after reading that part I proceeded to other part of books
Nice change of pace.
can you play smoke on the water?
I have had oneitis for this particular girl for the last 4 years and it's still going. It's so bad that I just don't seem to be able to really be attracted to other women. If you would ask me if I believe there is a 'one', I would say no. But that doesn't change the fact that I want only this girl and nobody else. It's rather complicated between me and her though because shes from a different country and is a muslim, whereas I am an atheist. What do?
Christ I've heard of a longing for someone but 4yrs and is Muslim! Dude figure out a way to meet other girls...
What do? Get over it. Meet other girls. Be aloof. Enjoy your own company
Leave the area, ghost, start again far from her.
What? A 20 min video from Rollo
No wonder there's a pandemic going on!
Women are big on men being the "one" or their "soulmate".
The condition known as 'Limerance' has a great part to play in the idea of having a 'soul mate'. When a guy is really smitten with a female he has eyes for no others if it is a reciprocal relationship the man and/or woman are convinced by their intense feeling they are in love and found someone they really click with. That is only if they are both feeling it. Otherwise, it can be a frustrating condition for the person in Limerance. I am sure in eastern Tao teaching you needed a soul mate to be sexually expansive with and exclusively share sexual sensitivity. You've got to remember in Christian teachings God only allows one spouse so I can only imagine at this point that the soul mate myth has its roots in Christianity that spans further back than two or 3 generations.
I'm new to your content Rollo and didn't know you could shred, that was awesome!! I'm looking to picking up guitar again, kinda miss it. Peace bro
When Rollo says 10 minutes. Count 21 minutes :))))
Love ya Rollo but the background vibration sound ever 8-10 seconds was too much for me to keep watching. It’s not music. Sounds like something in the equipment.
Now that I think about it, in my experience over the last 10yrs or so, the WOMEN past 40 seem to try to convine you that you're their one. Then the " security " talk starts.
Rollo put it succinctly here and in his first book. What nailed it home for me years ago is when I remembered...women by default spin plates. “She’s not yours. It’s just your turn.” comes from a real place.
them guitar skills , i love this guy .
Alien vibes in this video with all this background noise and video quality
"Mental Point of Origin" & "Frame Control"
Only thing you need to understand about Redpill
Lol. Ya those are pretty important..
Dude you should do more one offs
Here are my problems with plates.
1. Few of us have the ability to pull that off
2. Few of us have the money
3. You can't put 100 percent into a woman, so when it fails, you have no idea if it's your fault. Had you given it your all, it might've worked
4. What if she finds out?
5. I'm a professional historian and the "prehistory" here is largely a 19th century invention. Much of this is wildly oversimplified. The Romans had it, the Greeks and the Persians all enforced monogamy. The ancient myths don't back monogamy, but society did.
6. These "myths" of monogamy are of ancient origin The "innate strategy" isn't the product of history, but the sexual revolution.
There are so many problems with plate spinning. I understand it, but I can't believe most of us pull it off.
I read all three volumes of TRM on one sitting after my divorce.
The whole video is based on you having high SMV when this happens
1.you will pull it off
2. Women are willing to sleep with guys on the 1st date then disappear
3. You put 100% on your self and she will come
4. She will either leave and u go back to point 1 and get another
Or she will stay because her hipergamous nature dictate that you are the best she can get
The rest are statements not questions
She is just looking for support and you are looking for sex
Watch rich cooper also he explains better honestly
Tell that first bit to Will Smith.
@@youssefmikhael3044 If she gets you she'll think she can do better. Johnny Depp, Will Smith... etc. Men just aren't a woman's priority ever.
Has Rollo been having acting training. Loads of flowing hand movements which Express the delivery nicely. Regarding the subject I think we know we could partner up with many women in our life. But the time spirit calls and we have to get on with our life, and so settle to focus on other things.
Spinning plates is time consuming and expensive.
damnnnn Rollo, nice guitar chops!
That noise is driving me absolutely fucking crazy
YOU ROCK ROLLO! \m/
any early 40;s here. Do you even approach late 20's ? How have been the results?
Rollo rockin the Michael Schenker look 🤘🤘🤘
Ideas guide your actions, actions guide your results. By believing on "the one", you'll probably act bad on your relatioship, and you'll pribably not be ready for a break-up.
Ideals DO matter! Always reflect how your ideals are affecting your results.
Nice warm-up for rule zero! Direct from the high elve's king lair! haha
good concepts but static is atrocious