Dressing All My Dolls | October 2021

Sorry the beginning of the video is muted! The song was copyrighted. On another note, the time for christmas photos draws near.
Last year, I didn't have what I needed to do Halloween photos and the same applies for this year. I've been putting a lot more money into savings as the time for college draws near. However, I still have a lot I want to do with my collection. Lotta video plans too. Has anyone else seen that new Dollhouse by Our Generation? Now that is what I want. I miss having a designated place for my dolls. I don't like having to have them spread out between my school room and my bedroom. Ever since we downsized our house, they've had to spend a lot of time in closets. I've developed this problem where my dolls have too much dust in their hair because having them out all the time is just such an ordeal. but I've been working on reorganizing.
Once my brother moves out I'll have a bit more space though. If that ever happens lol. On top of that, I've been doing freelance writing work. Yes, for money. I've also applied for part-time jobs since I'm still doing senior classes and working on getting my driver's license. A problem I've been facing with my mental health has been being stuck in this house all day. Doing online classes and not having a driver's license leaves me home alone for nearly all hours of every weekday. Stuck at home, sinking into a depressive slump where I don't go anywhere or do anything.
My passion for dolls just helps me with that. The days don't blur together. I keep track of the days. I've tried to set them aside because it's what my mother always pressures me to do, but it's not up to her. I need to do what is best for me. My father has shamed me for needing a doll when I leave the house, but if I need a doll to comfort me when I go to get blood drawn at a doctor's office, then I'm not afraid to do that. The thing is, we can't shake the part of us that craves our parent's approval. And while my dolls help me with my mental state, hearing constant disapproval when the subject is brought up is taxing. So, inevitably, set them aside and the days go by. It feels like I've lost a thousand years, a million months of time by letting it drift away. I'm tired of wasting my life. I feel like the next time my mom berates me, I'll blow. But I think that's what I need.
ANYWAYS. Oof. xD