so, i'm Malaysian. I've lived in Malaysia all of my life, and i used to work in advertising here, was a copywriter. that part about how we don't own our minds at work hit pretty hard. the most insidious part about an advertising job, besides the standard corporate culture mentioned in your vid, is this propaganda they feed us - that our work, creating pretty lies to sell products and brands, is supposed to be creatively satisfying, culturally significant, and defines the very value of our existence.
I've been saying a lot of the things said in this video for years now. My "inciting incident" was getting laid off for 3 months at the start of the pandemic and just getting to live free from having to labour for a while. I was happier, healthier, I slept more, my house was tidier, I was eating better, etc. Then I was offered a job and the panic started setting in. My start date was pushed back a few weeks due to Covid so I had time to stew in the thought of going back to work. As my start date got closer and closer I started feeling more anxious about going back to work. This eventually came to a head a few days before my start date when I had my first full blown panic attack about it. I was hyper aware of what working full time looks and feels like because I'd spent the last 10 years working full time before this. I suddenly felt, deep in my core, the existential dread of having to live like that again. Just 5 days on, 2 days off, 5 days on, 2 days off, 5 days on, 2 days off..... the cycle repeating every week, likely until I'm dead because retirement is a pipe dream. Except unlike the last 10 years I now KNEW for a fact how much better life is when I'm free of this cycle, and that makes this so much worse. I tried to figure a way out of this, desperately trying to find some justification for not having to return to work, I was manic, but there was no escape from it. I had to go back. I cried myself to sleep the night before my first day while trying not to scream, my partner at the time consoling me as I did so. I woke up, suppressed my emotions as best I could for the day, and kind of disassociated my way through it to be honest. I don't really remember the time at work that day. What I do remember is getting in my car, driving a few blocks, turning into a relatively empty parking lot, parking in the back, and just fucking BALLING. Just tears, and snot, and screaming, and holding myself back from breaking things in my car due to all of the hate, fear, anxiety, helplessness, exhaustion, anger, and frustration I'd been holding in all day bubbling to the surface. To this day I'm not sure I've ever had a more powerful outburst of negative emotion than what I let out that day in my car after my first day back to working full time. I had another panic attack that evening, and the following day, and eventually they became less frequent as I got back into the routine of working and my doctor and I found a good dosage of the medications I now take for anxiety, ADHD, and depression. I'd love to say that things are better now, but they aren't, I'm just more used to feeling miserable about it again. Every day I spend at work I just can't help but think about the fact that I'm forced to give up the majority of my waking hours, on the vast majority of my days, for the vast majority of my years, to labouring. I have to spend most of my days somewhere I don't want to be, doing things I don't want to do, for people I don't even like, surrounded by people I only associate with due to proximity, while my life continues to tick on by day after day, just so I can afford to eat food and live indoors. This isn't living. I spend more days longing to live than I do actually getting to do it. Things don't have to be like this, they shouldn't be like this, we all deserve better.
you've perfectly encapsulated how i've felt ever since starting my first "big kid" job after graduating college, how i've grown to hate the clock and calendars, marking when my time is up, and their time begins
When COVID started I had just started a new job at Whole Foods. My new job was about as kushy as it gets in retail. I worked with one other person or alone in a refrigerated room in back-of-house cutting up and packaging various fruits, guacs, and salsas. I liked my coworker ok, we listened to podcasts or our music all day, we got to decide what to do when, and it was ALWAYS ok to not finish everything we could've done. If we didn't get to something before our shift ended, oh well, they don't pay us to be here longer. I liked my job more than I had liked any of my other jobs, all customer service. It was easy, I wasn't micromanaged, and I never had to deal with upset customers. But then COVID hit. And I started having anxiety attacks almost every day before work. It started being just harder to get out of the car and go in, but then it kept baking up to earlier and earlier in my commute, and lasting longer and longer in my shift. I would be anxious the whole car ride but it would dissipate a few min after I started my shift, then it took 30 minutes for the anxiety to leave, then an hour, then it never left. Eventually I started pulling the car over on my way to work to breathe heavily or cry and try to force myself to go in, because I had to pay the bills. But more and more I'd just end up driving around the City, finding nice parks or cute neighborhoods to park in. Feeling the freedom of time I "should" have spent working, but now spent alone. What was the most confusing to me at the time is that the anxiety seemed totally disconnected from my feelings about my job. I actually kinda liked it. The cubing of fruit is an oddly satisfying activity for me. Finding the best way to make the most even pieces, the repetition. Even the cold room didn't bother me; I preferred it to the summer heat. So I couldn't understand why I was having the most undeniable anxiety I'd ever had in my life about it. I think now though that I was feeling the reality you described noticing once you didn't have to work. Some part of me knew my job was close to useless and taking so much of my life that I want to spend on things that actually matter to me! Eventually I quit by just continually not showing up. Now I'm back at work as a barista and I actually like it ok. It has a lot to do with my coworkers, and working for local shops not a big chain. But the main reason I'm not feeling terrible about work anymore is that I spent almost two years not working, one of those on a hippy Commune. It took *that long* of relative rest for me to relax and reset my nervous system enough to be able to come back to working a job and not feel dead inside. Oh, and I also only work like 25hrs a week. Because 1) fuck full time, and B) I'm living with my parents. All that to say, yeah, I feel your pain.
We give up our lives so a few percentage of elites can live theirs-comfortably and with unlimited power. I wish more people woke up to what’s happening so we started changing our mindsets around how the world operates, and actually achieve change.
For real, it all could be better for everyone, but greed and etc, just like now it wouldn't be an easy life but at least it would be a fulfilled one for all, but not everyone wants to go through the sacrifices to get there, no matter if little or much to sacrifice
Hey Pagemelt - I just want to say as someone who works within the gaming industry - that portion aroud 55:10 ish is even darker than it looks. "If you want to make a startup, then quit and make a startup" A Microsoft exec says on the heels of purchasing tons of startups, crushing their spirits, getting rid of competition for Microsoft/Xbox, and not only that but as of the last couple of months we now know that Microsoft went on to disband and get rid of many of the studios they had acquired. That message was clear as day to me: "Go try it on your own, and we'll fucking crush you"
Why did anyone think big company startups? They either take the patents and ideas and throw out everyone or they integrate it and any creativity and flexibility dies. So you can only sell take your money and run or don't sell.
Teacher here. You've made me glad to stay in teaching. We work our butts off, especially in elementary schools, and don't get as much pay as we deserve, but we never question the validity of the work. (We do question our sanity every day. Kids have that effect.)
This is why I love working with kids too! There’s so much immediate tangible value in it, and you have to move around at least a little bit to get on the kiddos’ level, so you’re not stuck at a desk either. It can definitely get overwhelming, but it’s the most tolerable (and even enjoyable), meaningful work I’ve come across in my short time in the workforce so far :)) Until my creative career gets off the ground it’s going to be all that I do!!
i'm the type of guy who will put on nearly any video essay-style vid i see on my recommended just to have something going on in the background, and so much of it is fairly mediocre, but this video truly captured my attention. i absolutely adored your use of grabbing from so many different example sources and connecting it back to your wider point without rehashing the same thing over and over. this video doesn't have fluff and deserves its whole hour and eighteen minute runtime. absolutely delighted that i found my way to it :) i'm excited to see your future endeavors!
I have worked both blue collar and white collar jobs, both suck in their own way but blue collar - without fail - always pushed me to a mental breaking point of crying. You body hurts, your physically exhausted, and you are stressed because all you do is work and you can’t eat regularly. Bottom line, corporate job is definitely easy in comparison but it’s not all roses either. Take this comment with a grain of salt bc variability in every job field for every person. I’m a big white dude, so I’m on easy mode in life lol
My experience has been the opposite. White collar jobs left me working 12 hour days (literally working on my public transport commutes to and from work) 7 days a week for maybe a 20% pay increase to when I was a factory worker working 9-5 5 days a week and actually being able to clock out physically and more importantly mentally. Jobs on your feet are exhausting but at least it’s physical that improves your health. Mental exhaustion and stress from overwork and always being on call (rarely with paid overtime for all those extra hours) for me was much worse. Like you obviously just my own biased experiences but my view of friends who work in office jobs vs friends who work with their hands is that aside from my white collar friends who are engineers and my blue collar friends who work in hospitality the blue collar jobs are almost all better pay, better hours, and less stressful. Obviously the compounding effects on the body aren’t ideal but I know enough office workers in their late 20’s to early 30’s with severe back problems and arthritis from sitting and typing all day that I’m not terribly convinced by that argument either.
I believe some people are better suited for other positions but I also believe these people shouldn't be relegated to a full time position just because they're the best fit. The janitor should be allowed some say in what gets done and how, alongside their "manager" (everyone is a manager, I hate this title).
Never have I had a stranger speak so directly and deeply to the unsung ideas at the heart of how I view the world. Your patchwork of film, literature and anecdote blend into a seamless articulation of the dreary status quo. More importantly, within this articulation lives a rallying call to the fragility of our system and reminder of the strength possessed of us in unity being more than capable of changing it. I subscribed and liked so hard I sprained my click finger. Keep doing stuff, it's good stuff.
Thank you for this incredibly kind comment. You’ve managed to synthesize everything I wanted to do with this video AND tell me I accomplished it. Gonna be flying high on this all day!
spectacular video. thank you for sharing it. I also wanted to add, on the topic of "meaningful work" and the way a full-time do-it-or-die working culture will erode that meaning away - I previously worked as a nurse providing abortion care through the pandemic and the overturn of Roe v. Wade. It was, without a shadow of a doubt, the most meaningful work I've ever done and could ever hope to do. I moved from that into family social work. What I learned is that it is profoundly easy for important, community serving work to be exploited. I've seen it ever since in my work as a nurse and it has consistently made me so catastrophically pessimistic about our ability to care and provide for one another under capitalism that I almost checked myself into voluntary inpatient care after quitting my last job. When work has real meaning, real value, when it is genuinely imperative to the community, that human need for care and meaning becomes a gun to your head. It doesn't matter how abusive or exploitative the employer, how dangerous the working conditions, how brutalizing the schedule, how unforgiving the working culture. If you don't do the work, these people don't get care. It turns valuable work into a game of chicken with employers who want to see how far your compassion for the people you serve will stretch before it breaks, or you die.
im genuinely so glad thoughts like this are increasingly becoming part of our cultural imagination. thank you for doing the ~work of spreading these ideas.
Working as a systems software developer in a company that recently went public and was acquired by a parent. One of the most exhausting things about that acquisition is the amount of corporate speak and drivel that has come down the pipeline that we're expected to pretend to care about. Everyone on my team has features to design and implement and test, system architecture to read up on, bugs to fix, code to review, etc., and in between all of that we're inundated with corporate emails and trainings and finance meetings that interrupt the work that we're being payed to do. Great video, and your monologue of how you feel about your job rings very true to me.
hey, thanks for this! I didn't want to get too in-the-weeds about my personal experience with my day job in this vid for fear of doxxing myself, but this is basically exactly what I'm going through, and the craziest thing is it we're just supposed to pretend like the culture hasn't completely shifted under our feet. I'm sorry you're dealing with it too, but it's nice to know I'm not crazy 😅
i'm 20 and have grown up with abuse and mental health problems, not to mention living life with autism and adhd, and coming out of the darkest period of my life, with finally prioritizing my mental health and feeling like I'm myself again, just to now have to shove that down the toilet to 'work', is a nightmare. To have to have a career. Turning to older people and just not understanding how they manage, asking them and getting indiscriminate answers like "oh you're just not doing the right work" or "once you find what you're 'meant to do' it'll all work out" is soul crushing. Not to mention the pick between a laborious job, which will destroy your body, or a desk job which will crush your soul is insane. How do i as a young person make this decision? how do we expect a change from the inside when, like the workers at double-fine, our ideas and thoughts have to be kept secret or else proves our disloyalty? Disability is so close to our discussions of work. I saw a little snippet of a speech that Joanna Hedva gave on disability, where they say, "Illness could be a major subject. It could be like love, war, coming of age, identity, family. It could be this thing that we understand ourselves going through as a crucible that forms us. Why then, do we keep telling ourselves that it means 1 or 2 things?". Mainly expanding on your point on disability here, but, if we could understand our body's and souls, as people who will be disabled one day, then maybe potentially we could have a better understanding of jobs which house meaning, and building structures in place which don't have to make people 'grateful' for suffering to death. ahh also great video!!
@@AbsoluteFruit thank you so much for the advice!! i'll definitely ponder on a lot of those options. I love the bit about not doing what i fall flat in autistically, i think that'll really help :))
I am 50 and have ADHD and can share my experience. Yes it is hard, but one can find more caring and helping people as one thinks, Many are like you and more than we think care.
Your point about Not the Worst Cleaner *wanting* to clean particularly stands out to me. I am a handyman and I got into it because I enjoy construction and maintenance. I *like* fixing houses. I often do handiwork for my community for free or for trade. I also was a barista for about 5 years. I’m working corporate right now but I’ve always said that if handiwork or baristaing paid even marginally better, I would have been happy to do either forever because those jobs are so enjoyable and fulfilling to me. I don’t desire a lavish lifestyle but I do want to have a savings account and own a home someday… and for that it seems like you kind of have to Climb The Ladder 🙄
I'm Native. You've described what decolonization looks like to me. We do the work to care for our loved ones! Our community! We're only gonna make it if we care for each other
Sounds like a great goal to me. One idea I'd like to contribute: The names of these good societal plans seem to me to be vague, controversial and antagonistic. Hear me out because cooperation is good For instance "Defund the police" while the real plan is a not-controversial and not antagonistic to police. It is about a shift towards public outreach, prevention, de-escalation, reducing necessity of Militarized equipment. All good stuff. The implications from the name, to a lay-person sounds like get rid of the police. Decolonization as a name sounds a lot like the worst possible interpretation. Sounds not like a plan to focus on moving away from corporate capitalism, on sustainability, stability, family and community. It sounds like a call to get rid of Europeans. I wish the left would stop using outrage as a slogan and truly begin to focus on getting everyone on-side and cooperating on specific issues rather than focusing on totalization and full ideological conformity. As someone outside the space I didn't realize I was arguing for the same goals but disagreeing with "defund the police" and "de-colonization" because nobody really explained that their goals aren't nearly as radical as the slogans seem to portray. This is concerning for me because the vast majority of people are normal, good people but there are some who use these slogans to push radical change and hide the severity of their language and hate. Two people can say "we want to de-colonize ___" person A intention is to put severe limits on corporate greed, build housing and focus on building strong and diverse communities. While hypothetical person B is a rare radical hiding their hate and desire to eradicate "white people" I've seen the two ends of the spectrum from real neoNazis and the extremists who want the same national socialism just exchange Jews for whites. It's disgusting how both aren't seen as the same evil scum. There's a big blind spot to radicalism in society today causing a rift and lack of cooperation in the middle
@@LoafingMushroom exactly what I meant by my previous comment. You're just as evil as the Nazis with your blood and soil rhetoric. What about mixed people? What about people so goddamned mixed they don't have any identity?
Watching this during the 3 days i took off work to have a surgery, already dreading going back. Thanks for this great video, as someone w a corporate job i appreciate how directly you clocked the abject bullshittery of so much of it
I’m so happy this popped up in my recommended. This is such a well thought and well worded explanation of a feeling I’ve had as a zoomer in corporate America. Excellent stuff, thank you for making it.
watching this directly after getting off work was maybe a mistake.. my brain is gonna chew on this for the rest of the day like a dog with a dangerous bit of plastic. Amazing video!
I’ve been aware for many years of how toxic and boring a question “what do you do?” is. I ask people “what are you into?” A lot of people have a shocked or surprised expression that I’ve asked them something marginally different than the standard line. I think “what do you do” is also probably mean to establish a dominance hierarchy with people you’ve just met. I don’t give a shit about that. I don’t care if you’re a janitor or a CEO. Are you someone that will be interesting to talk to? Would you be a reliable friend?
What an absolute treat of a video, your way of constructing an argument that follows a comprehensible and chronological progression through your point and into the watchers perspective of it is an incredible talent. I love watching your other projects on patreon and I’m so happy you were able to complete this project! You’ve clearly put a lot of effort in and it really does shine through so massive kudos!
wow this entire video is literally exactly bar for bar what ive been feeling and thinking about for the last few years and i just couldnt express it ANYWHERE even remotely close to this well, lowkey made me tear up, im so happy you made this video genuinely i love you, people like me who are maybe a bit slow or have a scattered brain or dont have enough time to indulge in such an analysis by themselves for many uncontrollable reasons, it truly does mean a lot that you can communicate something like this so well in the beginning of the video you said something about how this is more focused on an american experience, but truly its barely any different here in most places in europe, younger people nowadays finally are realizing how bullshit all of this is precisely because so many of us had to see our parents and grandparents break their backs and ruin themselves mentally all just to upkeep their image as the "hardworking guy", all just to reach arbitrary social success goals, this is also the reason for so much racism and discrimination against immigrants and roma people, because theyre seen as "lazy", "cowards" and "get to do nothing because we pay their meals with tax money" or whatever, even i, who is studying illustration in uni, get really condescending and lowkey bitter attitudes from my wider family because i can just tell they think im a slacker who doesnt do shit all day, while also envying me in the same breath. My mere existance isnt worth as much as theirs, because im not working 8hours on minimum wage every day at a factory with 3 broken fingers so i can afford renovations on my newly "bought" house(40 years in debt) with my 2 kids that i had at 18years old while my husband makes disgusting sex jokes about me at family gatherings, like literally what is the point in any of that. My ENTIRE family has this miserable history of overworking themselves within a company that could not give less of a shit about their wellbeing, its genuinely too much to even write here, but they still go on and dont do anything about it because they think this is just the price they have to pay to perhaps have one day off a month where they get to drink a beer on a terrace with their neighbour and coincedentally most of their conversation topics are just complaining about work and how long they have left until retirement. However with younger generations coming in and telling it how it is, ive seen their determination and confidence shake, and theyre realizing theyve spent 40 years working a job that provided no value to anybody whatsoever, realizing that its just stolen the time they couldve had to be close to their loved ones instead. Its honestly sad to watch. But theres also a hint of hope when they talk about the young people being "bratty", WE need to change something because i dont intend to suffer like the rest of my family
Not only is it bad for your employees to take their ability to create games outside of work, it’s also horrible for the company because now employees are not going to be able to hone their skills outside of work while working on projects that actually have meaning to them. Being able to pursue your passions outside of work is the only reason workers work in the first place, so to take that away is like shooting your own foot and your employees foot for no reason whatsoever, what a moron. Not only would it discourage workers from wanting to work but him saying that all ideas pitched are now owned by the company is just going to discourage workers from wanting to express their ideas at all. So in doing this that guy has just absolutely crippled any creativity that might have taken place in that studio.
This is just brilliantly written and executed. The point about corporate culture being inherently conservative and soul-sucking is an important one. Even in the field of software engineering, where ostensibly people "don't care what you dress like" there is a software bro code of how to dress.
There are so many absolutely quotable gems that you drop in this video. I feel like many video essays are as long as they are simply to pad for time or appease an algorithm, but honestly despite its length, everything you had to say was profound, well thought out, and delightfully succinct. We need voices like yours that can so perfectly articulate important ideas like these while also making valuable contributions to them. Thanks for your hard work on this one, I'm sure I'm far from the only person it spoke to on such a level
I started watching this before bed thinking "oh neat a video essay that I'll probably fall asleep to but be able to rewatch some in the morning" I'm obviously still awake, and much like you with Elysium, i don't think I'll be able to stop thinking about your ending monologue and final quote for a long while.
what a banger of a video, the most comprehensive and approachable, and at the same time profound essay on the hell that is work i am right now in a temporary state of just living my life being supported by a bit of savings and help of a beloved partner. for the last 3 years i was working in corporate IT, fully aware that no meaning or value is being created during these paid hours. i felt my soul and body decaying every day and i knew the cause of it. i ended up severely mentally and physically ill by this fall, and quitting working a corporate job resolved those issues in a month. i don't know how to try to approach looking for a new job again, and i know that i am blessed for having this break of having my life belong to me for a little bit I'll eventually continue working for the knife, as mitski eloquently put in her song, but i will not stop trying to save my soul and peace. i encourage everyone who is struggling to keep trying as well. we are so much bigger than our bullshit jobs or our meaningful but criminally undervalued jobs
This is exactly like me! My body nearly shut down physically (heart and lungs got infections) and I had to spend some time in the hospital as a result. I'm now back in school to switch career paths into something more meaningful
procrastinated going to bed for fear of work by watching this❤ jokes aside this was incredibly thoughtful, well researched and astute. definitely put into words a lot of the scary feelings I've been having as a young person starting their career!!
As an accountant who picked up reading novels again a few years ago, thank you for putting into words and explaining why modern novels have stopped giving more detailed explanations of the financial situations of their subjects. I read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith earlier this year and it was so refreshing to get exact numbers, multiple times, about how much the characters were making, how much their rent was, how much food cost and what they ate day to day, etc. It was very enlightening to learn that the pro-capitalist forces during the Cold War made a concerted effort to do away with that kind of writing.
37:50 "i was having a meeting about a meeting" i felt it in my bones...i hate all meetings as most of them could be emails, but these specific b*llshit ones are SOUL CRUSHING!
Only 15 minutes in (while sitting in my soul crushing corporate job) and already so grateful the algorithm brought this video to me. What a nuanced and thoughtful approach to a terribly important topic. Can’t wait to see what the rest of the video has in store
I hardly ever comment on videos but this one really made my jaw drop with how eloquently you have connected the various writers and thinkers ideas. As someone who just graduated from art school and dealing with the reality of a successful career in creative work being largely devoid of meaning, I've never felt more seen than with this description of the almost existential horror of the unkillable system of power and work today, and the implications it has on the things I love, but also how common and united we all are in this mess. This was an essay that was about ideas, yet still very remarkably human. Please keep making more of these
i usually get turned off really easily by video essays with a decided lack of visuals but your cadence and scripting is very engaging. excellent video 💯
This is incredible, especially loved the last section. I'm burned out from existing in capitalist society. But what if I didn't have to stress over working or obtaining work? If I wasn't incentivized by money? What would I have the energy, the spoons, to do, to help? How can I start re-claiming some of that energy now? I quit my full time coding job last year, freelanced for a bit, and am now going back but in a much more creative direction (tho still coding). I'm hoping that this direction will be more "fulfilling", tho I've also recently arrived at that realization that I won't find The Meaning Of Life in my work. Truthfully, I don't understand how anyone does this long term, tho I'm ND which maybe plays a part. This video put words to a lot of half cooked thoughts in my brain, lol. It was also a comfy watch. Excited to watch more :)
This is an absolutely incredible video, the kind of thing that you think has 500 thousand views but somehow has almost none. Your style of citing and including sources is really engaging, I hope to get to the point where I can use sources with as much talent as you do here.
This is an absolutely incredible video. I struggle to find the words to describe how I feel about the work culture in America but you perfectly articulated it all and more. I’ve seen it devour my friends and wound the soul of my family. 6 months into my first “real” job I knew I wouldn’t survive a normal 9-5. I ended up starting my own business with its own up and downs but I do feel the work I does helps people, and I feel very thankful for that.
I love Isbell. Something more than free was one of the albums my dad wanted to show me when I was too young to really resonate with it, but as soon as I started working I fell in love with it all over again. Anyway. Great heartbreaking musician that guy
have not yet finished this video bc i was playing it in the background while i worked my corporate 9 to 5 and work has ended lol but it has already impacted me so profoundly. thank you for making this video
One of my favourite podcasts, "Well There's Your Problem", often ends with a segment called "Safety Third", which has viewer-submitted work horror stories. Highlights include being asked to enter an industrial food hopper/grinder to take out a metal bar that fell in, a canister of liquid nitrogen exploding in a room without ventilation, a nuclear power plant where the vent fans were installed backwards so radioactive particles would actually build up even more, and being asked to climb a 20-foot yacht sail pole without a safety harness because the rich fuck who owned it was too impatient for it to arrive
Somehow this video managed to hit so many of the things I care about/am involved in (genre fic, literary fic, MFAs, David Graeber, Bookchin, video games, anarchism, software engineering). Really well done, looking forward to watching more :)
the closest i've ever felt to feeling "fulfilled" at a job was when i worked big industrial sewing machines making leather products (primarily guitar straps). it was difficult on my hands and at times mind numbing to repeat the same action literal hundreds of times. i dont have any kind of passion for guitars or leather working in general but i loved having the feeling of accomplishment that i made something tangible. i actually really enjoyed helping the ceo with a side project where i was almost entirely in control of the process and the way the materials were organized and got to work with my boss on different styles of straps. i looked forward to working on it during the last hour of my shift everyday. and even with all of this i still developed alcoholism at only 22 to cope with how my life was structured because of work. my next job as a gas station attendant made it exponentially worse and nearly killed me because of the existential dread i tried to bury with vodka and the promise that i would be dead instead of having to life through another day. I started my new job at an extremely physically demanding job 3 days ago and i am already in pain and exhausted and it is the first time in a long time i considered stopping at a liquor store after almost a year of being sober from the stuff. its exhausting in a way that nothing else is and i appreciate this video for being so upfront with the horror of existence in this system. i wish i could just create. i think in another kinder life im basketweaving for a community i care about
I’ve been trying to struggle with this type of overarching setting and ressentiment that builds in my own writing. This video has unblocked a few chakras and liberated some stratified bullshit. Thanks Mel!❤
A) Thank you for keeping me company while I make my first ever bundt cake, B) this video took me viscerally back to my retail/customer service days, which I exited by getting a dream job in the gaming industry... which required such an enormous weekly word count from me that I now have permanent hand pain! Which I guess makes a nice change from all the foot and back pain I had working in a shop 40 hours a week. Abolishing work so we can live and build community sounds amazing to me. Great vid, well worth all the time you spent on it.
This was excellent fellow Mel! I love thinking about those work parody TikTok’s and now I’m realizing why I keep rereading Parable of the Sower because of its focus on community over the individual. Excited to see what you post next!
i always glean so much from ur videos whether theyre long or short form, thank u so much for sharing and for the time and effort u put into making such thoughtful, insightful work! i rlly appreciate how u draw from so many different sources/wells of interest to explore a subject from many angles, it is so engaging and encourages me to think more deeply and creatively about the things that are important to me and the art that i enjoy. im sure ill return to rewatch this video many times!!
Mel, I loved this video! I always find you so smart and thoughtful and deeply interesting to listen to and that very much continued here. I am so excited to see what you do in the future and to read/listen to/watch some of the works you mentioned here. Also, great background! I loved tracking the changes.
i loved how you followed up the office space section with a relevant KOTH clip, nice touch. Mike Judge is the best. Silicon Valley hits a lot of these points really hard too, you can tell he really understands that environment. incredible video, i was hooked. excited to see more.
So glad you’re on youtube now! Deleted tiktok but when I had it, every time I saw a video of yours I would listen intently without fail. Same is true when I get an hour straight of content 🙂 So impressed by your ability to quickly and effectively distill large social issues and make connections throughout history and media types. I rarely comment but I appreciate your videos so much I felt compelled to!
I'm lucky to live in Europe. I get a entire months worth holiday or vacation for you Americans guaranteed and protected by government this applies from the lowly service worker too. My company cannot fire me on a whim and must give me 1-2 months of heads up and full pay before I leave the door. I have to be given breaks for every 6-8 hours worked. I have to paid overtime for every hour worked outside my contract. It's crazy that America is so overworked.
I feel seen in this video, living in the corporate world. I really appreciate the work and thought you put into this and what you have shared. I look forward to reading Lakewood
I loved this so much. I also fully felt the part where you said you switched out of an English degree because you loved writing and therefore did not want a job doing it. As someone who thought that I would get a job in creative writing, preferably editing, out of college, it is one of my bigger regrets. I work at a Law office now as a demand writer and, while not necessarily a BS job, it is very draining. I struggle to creatively write in my free time and even just struggle to read for fun sometimes. The jobs drains me just enough to leave me wanting to do more, but I don't have the energy to do anything more. Its a frustration every day. I clock out feeling demotivated. I spend all work day putting off ideas for writing and looking forward to the book I'm currently reading, only to clock out and need to make dinner and not want to sit at my desk anymore because of back pain and only able to read 10 pages before I find myself waking up to my husband taking my book out of my hands and putting in my bookmark. I've stopped freelance editing because I'm just so tired all the time.
@@pagemeltI had a similar sort of thing happen to me a few years ago. I worked for a video game company, and when I was hired I had to sign something that basically asked me to list out any intellectual property ideas I had, and then had verbiage afterward I was supposed to sign in agreement to that said something like the things I’d listed above was an exhaustive list of all my ideas, so any ideas I hadn’t listed for the duration that I worked for the company were created for the company and belonged to them. It was written in a very loose way that implied all IPs, not just video game IPs. It made me extremely uncomfortable so I refused to sign it as-is. Thankfully they didn’t push me on it.
This is such a sentimental well thought out take on the world of work and I'm all for it. I like your introspective take and I'd love to see more content like this. You've earned my sub, great job putting this video together!
This was such a deeply enjoyable watch. Thank you for making this video, Mel! I took breaks from it to complete care work this evening and loved being able to let the ideas marinate a little before going back in for more.
wow i'm just loving all of this. the first video essay that's connected with me in a long time. loving the more austere, relaxed lecture style with more minimal editing. phenomenal work.
Great video and well worth the watch. I appreciate all of the different sources you reference, definitely going to check out some of the books you mentioned. It was also surprisingly motivating. Motivating to try and get out of this system.
really beautiful video. I was watching office space again recently for the first time since I was a kid and was persistently thinking about Graeber’s work throughout so I’m glad to see those connections validated and explored so thoroughly here. thank you!!
Thank you so much for this video essay. I needed to hear this, because the past while I've been working has felt bullshit, and all other options have felt bullshit. What you've said about doing work that 'no one wants to do' struck a real chord with me; Ironically I had the luxary of rebelling against art-school-enthusiast parents, and instead I'll be going to lawschool soon, because I genuinely enjoy the components of legal work and I find the end result fulfilling - But I'm terrified of entering a system that makes me choose between soulless evil work or overwork (ie. public defenders). I guess I just wanted to say that this video gave me a bit of hope.
Hi, Pagemelt! Like many others, I clicked on this video due to it's length and strong indication of it being a video essay. I can certainly say you've absolutely nailed it in terms of presentation, source material and eloquent rhetoric. This is an absolutely wonderful piece of work and you should be very proud of what you've created. On less fun stuff, I completely agree with everything you've presented and mentioned throughout - I think the rise of a cultural epoch that heavily ties identity to work is mega-depressing and soul crushing. The questions you've asked at the end of the video are also very thought provoking. I totally agree that everyone does indeed want to do work, even the less 'desirable' jobs (think of Perfect Days directed by Wim Wenders) but the ultimate cultural norm of people entirely relying on what can only be described as wage serfdom simply causes more harm than good. Crazy good video, well done. PS. you totally remind me Tim Rogers from Action Button and I think you would immensely enjoy his gargantuan and ever-introspective game reviews.
as a first year uni student, studying BUSINESS this video really hits. im dreading the time when i have to leave education to get a corporate job and make an evil corporation marginally richer. it just depresses the hell out of me. thanks for make this video, im going to be thinking about it for a while
Really hope this video gets to more people. We need to start opening up about our realities more. I belong to a country that is very exploited in terms of work. Corporations come here, hire us, only to pay less for our job and making us work more hours. We are all so miserable but we pretend it’s “necessary.” We tell ourselves being exploited means we’re strong. It fucking sucks.
Incredible video. Also, I majored in English and spent many years blogging for small BnB tech companies. I actually did try and I’d stand by anything I ever wrote. But so many of those sites are dead now, and gone is all the fruit of my labor 😅
Hello fellow software person (I used to be on the development side, and you're on the design side, wow I admire people who make things useful and beautiful!!!) Anyways, this video is eye opening. I still don't think my job is bullsh** but you made me question it, and that's something! I'm happy your video got recommended, looking forward to seeing your other stuff!
This rules, thanks for making it. That quote from the double fine doc by Matt fucking Booty was so harrowing when I first saw it. I'm glad someone recognized the madness happening there and called it out for what it was. I work in the games industry and was laid off a couple months ago, and not only are my personal projects my lifeline during unemployment -- both structurally, to stave off depression, and financially, albeit in a small way, they're also the kindling of the entire reason I fucking got into this into the first place. Everything important I learned about making games, I learned myself -- and brought that to work. It's fucking agonizing to hear that the entire reason my resume was good enough to get into this industry is also radioactive the moment I make it in. My last job was shitty in many ways, but I am thankful that my last employer had the sense to realize moonlighting was worth allowing folks to do.
so, i'm Malaysian. I've lived in Malaysia all of my life, and i used to work in advertising here, was a copywriter. that part about how we don't own our minds at work hit pretty hard.
the most insidious part about an advertising job, besides the standard corporate culture mentioned in your vid, is this propaganda they feed us - that our work, creating pretty lies to sell products and brands, is supposed to be creatively satisfying, culturally significant, and defines the very value of our existence.
We exist to consume in this capitalistic hell
@@creepcraddle I really don't understand what an activity without consuming something should look like. Can you give some examples.
Even our lives are consumed by death
I've been in the ad industry for 15 years and this is true. It's all a con. The quicker we leave the better.
wow, perfectly said
I've been saying a lot of the things said in this video for years now. My "inciting incident" was getting laid off for 3 months at the start of the pandemic and just getting to live free from having to labour for a while. I was happier, healthier, I slept more, my house was tidier, I was eating better, etc.
Then I was offered a job and the panic started setting in. My start date was pushed back a few weeks due to Covid so I had time to stew in the thought of going back to work. As my start date got closer and closer I started feeling more anxious about going back to work. This eventually came to a head a few days before my start date when I had my first full blown panic attack about it. I was hyper aware of what working full time looks and feels like because I'd spent the last 10 years working full time before this. I suddenly felt, deep in my core, the existential dread of having to live like that again.
Just 5 days on, 2 days off, 5 days on, 2 days off, 5 days on, 2 days off..... the cycle repeating every week, likely until I'm dead because retirement is a pipe dream. Except unlike the last 10 years I now KNEW for a fact how much better life is when I'm free of this cycle, and that makes this so much worse.
I tried to figure a way out of this, desperately trying to find some justification for not having to return to work, I was manic, but there was no escape from it. I had to go back. I cried myself to sleep the night before my first day while trying not to scream, my partner at the time consoling me as I did so.
I woke up, suppressed my emotions as best I could for the day, and kind of disassociated my way through it to be honest. I don't really remember the time at work that day. What I do remember is getting in my car, driving a few blocks, turning into a relatively empty parking lot, parking in the back, and just fucking BALLING.
Just tears, and snot, and screaming, and holding myself back from breaking things in my car due to all of the hate, fear, anxiety, helplessness, exhaustion, anger, and frustration I'd been holding in all day bubbling to the surface. To this day I'm not sure I've ever had a more powerful outburst of negative emotion than what I let out that day in my car after my first day back to working full time. I had another panic attack that evening, and the following day, and eventually they became less frequent as I got back into the routine of working and my doctor and I found a good dosage of the medications I now take for anxiety, ADHD, and depression.
I'd love to say that things are better now, but they aren't, I'm just more used to feeling miserable about it again. Every day I spend at work I just can't help but think about the fact that I'm forced to give up the majority of my waking hours, on the vast majority of my days, for the vast majority of my years, to labouring. I have to spend most of my days somewhere I don't want to be, doing things I don't want to do, for people I don't even like, surrounded by people I only associate with due to proximity, while my life continues to tick on by day after day, just so I can afford to eat food and live indoors.
This isn't living. I spend more days longing to live than I do actually getting to do it. Things don't have to be like this, they shouldn't be like this, we all deserve better.
you've perfectly encapsulated how i've felt ever since starting my first "big kid" job after graduating college, how i've grown to hate the clock and calendars, marking when my time is up, and their time begins
When COVID started I had just started a new job at Whole Foods.
My new job was about as kushy as it gets in retail. I worked with one other person or alone in a refrigerated room in back-of-house cutting up and packaging various fruits, guacs, and salsas. I liked my coworker ok, we listened to podcasts or our music all day, we got to decide what to do when, and it was ALWAYS ok to not finish everything we could've done. If we didn't get to something before our shift ended, oh well, they don't pay us to be here longer. I liked my job more than I had liked any of my other jobs, all customer service. It was easy, I wasn't micromanaged, and I never had to deal with upset customers.
But then COVID hit. And I started having anxiety attacks almost every day before work.
It started being just harder to get out of the car and go in, but then it kept baking up to earlier and earlier in my commute, and lasting longer and longer in my shift. I would be anxious the whole car ride but it would dissipate a few min after I started my shift, then it took 30 minutes for the anxiety to leave, then an hour, then it never left. Eventually I started pulling the car over on my way to work to breathe heavily or cry and try to force myself to go in, because I had to pay the bills. But more and more I'd just end up driving around the City, finding nice parks or cute neighborhoods to park in. Feeling the freedom of time I "should" have spent working, but now spent alone.
What was the most confusing to me at the time is that the anxiety seemed totally disconnected from my feelings about my job. I actually kinda liked it. The cubing of fruit is an oddly satisfying activity for me. Finding the best way to make the most even pieces, the repetition. Even the cold room didn't bother me; I preferred it to the summer heat. So I couldn't understand why I was having the most undeniable anxiety I'd ever had in my life about it.
I think now though that I was feeling the reality you described noticing once you didn't have to work. Some part of me knew my job was close to useless and taking so much of my life that I want to spend on things that actually matter to me!
Eventually I quit by just continually not showing up.
Now I'm back at work as a barista and I actually like it ok. It has a lot to do with my coworkers, and working for local shops not a big chain. But the main reason I'm not feeling terrible about work anymore is that I spent almost two years not working, one of those on a hippy Commune. It took *that long* of relative rest for me to relax and reset my nervous system enough to be able to come back to working a job and not feel dead inside. Oh, and I also only work like 25hrs a week. Because 1) fuck full time, and B) I'm living with my parents.
All that to say, yeah, I feel your pain.
We give up our lives so a few percentage of elites can live theirs-comfortably and with unlimited power. I wish more people woke up to what’s happening so we started changing our mindsets around how the world operates, and actually achieve change.
I feel this so much, hang in there!
For real, it all could be better for everyone, but greed and etc, just like now it wouldn't be an easy life but at least it would be a fulfilled one for all, but not everyone wants to go through the sacrifices to get there, no matter if little or much to sacrifice
“Creating a personal brand is an exercise designed to sand the texture off your soul” is so funny
Hey Pagemelt - I just want to say as someone who works within the gaming industry - that portion aroud 55:10 ish is even darker than it looks.
"If you want to make a startup, then quit and make a startup"
A Microsoft exec says on the heels of purchasing tons of startups, crushing their spirits, getting rid of competition for Microsoft/Xbox, and not only that but as of the last couple of months we now know that Microsoft went on to disband and get rid of many of the studios they had acquired.
That message was clear as day to me: "Go try it on your own, and we'll fucking crush you"
Why did anyone think big company startups? They either take the patents and ideas and throw out everyone or they integrate it and any creativity and flexibility dies. So you can only sell take your money and run or don't sell.
Teacher here. You've made me glad to stay in teaching. We work our butts off, especially in elementary schools, and don't get as much pay as we deserve, but we never question the validity of the work. (We do question our sanity every day. Kids have that effect.)
This is why I love working with kids too! There’s so much immediate tangible value in it, and you have to move around at least a little bit to get on the kiddos’ level, so you’re not stuck at a desk either. It can definitely get overwhelming, but it’s the most tolerable (and even enjoyable), meaningful work I’ve come across in my short time in the workforce so far :)) Until my creative career gets off the ground it’s going to be all that I do!!
This is such a nice comment to read. Thank you. :) We appreciate teachers.
i'm the type of guy who will put on nearly any video essay-style vid i see on my recommended just to have something going on in the background, and so much of it is fairly mediocre, but this video truly captured my attention. i absolutely adored your use of grabbing from so many different example sources and connecting it back to your wider point without rehashing the same thing over and over. this video doesn't have fluff and deserves its whole hour and eighteen minute runtime. absolutely delighted that i found my way to it :) i'm excited to see your future endeavors!
I have worked both blue collar and white collar jobs, both suck in their own way but blue collar - without fail - always pushed me to a mental breaking point of crying. You body hurts, your physically exhausted, and you are stressed because all you do is work and you can’t eat regularly. Bottom line, corporate job is definitely easy in comparison but it’s not all roses either. Take this comment with a grain of salt bc variability in every job field for every person. I’m a big white dude, so I’m on easy mode in life lol
My experience has been the opposite. White collar jobs left me working 12 hour days (literally working on my public transport commutes to and from work) 7 days a week for maybe a 20% pay increase to when I was a factory worker working 9-5 5 days a week and actually being able to clock out physically and more importantly mentally.
Jobs on your feet are exhausting but at least it’s physical that improves your health. Mental exhaustion and stress from overwork and always being on call (rarely with paid overtime for all those extra hours) for me was much worse.
Like you obviously just my own biased experiences but my view of friends who work in office jobs vs friends who work with their hands is that aside from my white collar friends who are engineers and my blue collar friends who work in hospitality the blue collar jobs are almost all better pay, better hours, and less stressful. Obviously the compounding effects on the body aren’t ideal but I know enough office workers in their late 20’s to early 30’s with severe back problems and arthritis from sitting and typing all day that I’m not terribly convinced by that argument either.
I believe some people are better suited for other positions but I also believe these people shouldn't be relegated to a full time position just because they're the best fit. The janitor should be allowed some say in what gets done and how, alongside their "manager" (everyone is a manager, I hate this title).
Never have I had a stranger speak so directly and deeply to the unsung ideas at the heart of how I view the world. Your patchwork of film, literature and anecdote blend into a seamless articulation of the dreary status quo. More importantly, within this articulation lives a rallying call to the fragility of our system and reminder of the strength possessed of us in unity being more than capable of changing it. I subscribed and liked so hard I sprained my click finger. Keep doing stuff, it's good stuff.
Thank you for this incredibly kind comment. You’ve managed to synthesize everything I wanted to do with this video AND tell me I accomplished it. Gonna be flying high on this all day!
@@pagemelt Welcome. Please keep making stuff, cause your stuff is good.
This is going to have me thinking and yapping for days.
spectacular video. thank you for sharing it.
I also wanted to add, on the topic of "meaningful work" and the way a full-time do-it-or-die working culture will erode that meaning away - I previously worked as a nurse providing abortion care through the pandemic and the overturn of Roe v. Wade. It was, without a shadow of a doubt, the most meaningful work I've ever done and could ever hope to do. I moved from that into family social work.
What I learned is that it is profoundly easy for important, community serving work to be exploited. I've seen it ever since in my work as a nurse and it has consistently made me so catastrophically pessimistic about our ability to care and provide for one another under capitalism that I almost checked myself into voluntary inpatient care after quitting my last job. When work has real meaning, real value, when it is genuinely imperative to the community, that human need for care and meaning becomes a gun to your head.
It doesn't matter how abusive or exploitative the employer, how dangerous the working conditions, how brutalizing the schedule, how unforgiving the working culture. If you don't do the work, these people don't get care. It turns valuable work into a game of chicken with employers who want to see how far your compassion for the people you serve will stretch before it breaks, or you die.
im genuinely so glad thoughts like this are increasingly becoming part of our cultural imagination. thank you for doing the ~work of spreading these ideas.
Working as a systems software developer in a company that recently went public and was acquired by a parent. One of the most exhausting things about that acquisition is the amount of corporate speak and drivel that has come down the pipeline that we're expected to pretend to care about. Everyone on my team has features to design and implement and test, system architecture to read up on, bugs to fix, code to review, etc., and in between all of that we're inundated with corporate emails and trainings and finance meetings that interrupt the work that we're being payed to do.
Great video, and your monologue of how you feel about your job rings very true to me.
hey, thanks for this! I didn't want to get too in-the-weeds about my personal experience with my day job in this vid for fear of doxxing myself, but this is basically exactly what I'm going through, and the craziest thing is it we're just supposed to pretend like the culture hasn't completely shifted under our feet. I'm sorry you're dealing with it too, but it's nice to know I'm not crazy 😅
i'm 20 and have grown up with abuse and mental health problems, not to mention living life with autism and adhd, and coming out of the darkest period of my life, with finally prioritizing my mental health and feeling like I'm myself again, just to now have to shove that down the toilet to 'work', is a nightmare. To have to have a career. Turning to older people and just not understanding how they manage, asking them and getting indiscriminate answers like "oh you're just not doing the right work" or "once you find what you're 'meant to do' it'll all work out" is soul crushing. Not to mention the pick between a laborious job, which will destroy your body, or a desk job which will crush your soul is insane. How do i as a young person make this decision? how do we expect a change from the inside when, like the workers at double-fine, our ideas and thoughts have to be kept secret or else proves our disloyalty?
Disability is so close to our discussions of work. I saw a little snippet of a speech that Joanna Hedva gave on disability, where they say, "Illness could be a major subject. It could be like love, war, coming of age, identity, family. It could be this thing that we understand ourselves going through as a crucible that forms us. Why then, do we keep telling ourselves that it means 1 or 2 things?".
Mainly expanding on your point on disability here, but, if we could understand our body's and souls, as people who will be disabled one day, then maybe potentially we could have a better understanding of jobs which house meaning, and building structures in place which don't have to make people 'grateful' for suffering to death.
ahh also great video!!
@@AbsoluteFruit Thank you as a disabled person who is in the process of getting work, you have given me hope. Thank you🙂
@@AbsoluteFruit thank you so much for the advice!! i'll definitely ponder on a lot of those options. I love the bit about not doing what i fall flat in autistically, i think that'll really help :))
I am 50 and have ADHD and can share my experience. Yes it is hard, but one can find more caring and helping people as one thinks, Many are like you and more than we think care.
You’re not disabled. You’re just weak.
Your point about Not the Worst Cleaner *wanting* to clean particularly stands out to me. I am a handyman and I got into it because I enjoy construction and maintenance. I *like* fixing houses. I often do handiwork for my community for free or for trade. I also was a barista for about 5 years. I’m working corporate right now but I’ve always said that if handiwork or baristaing paid even marginally better, I would have been happy to do either forever because those jobs are so enjoyable and fulfilling to me. I don’t desire a lavish lifestyle but I do want to have a savings account and own a home someday… and for that it seems like you kind of have to Climb The Ladder 🙄
Giving people time as long as the coffee cup lasts is a precious gift. Thank you for doing it for us.
I'm Native. You've described what decolonization looks like to me. We do the work to care for our loved ones! Our community! We're only gonna make it if we care for each other
Damn straight.
Sounds like a great goal to me.
One idea I'd like to contribute:
The names of these good societal plans seem to me to be vague, controversial and antagonistic. Hear me out because cooperation is good
For instance
"Defund the police" while the real plan is a not-controversial and not antagonistic to police. It is about a shift towards public outreach, prevention, de-escalation, reducing necessity of Militarized equipment. All good stuff.
The implications from the name, to a lay-person sounds like get rid of the police.
Decolonization as a name sounds a lot like the worst possible interpretation. Sounds not like a plan to focus on moving away from corporate capitalism, on sustainability, stability, family and community. It sounds like a call to get rid of Europeans.
I wish the left would stop using outrage as a slogan and truly begin to focus on getting everyone on-side and cooperating on specific issues rather than focusing on totalization and full ideological conformity.
As someone outside the space I didn't realize I was arguing for the same goals but disagreeing with "defund the police" and "de-colonization" because nobody really explained that their goals aren't nearly as radical as the slogans seem to portray.
This is concerning for me because the vast majority of people are normal, good people but there are some who use these slogans to push radical change and hide the severity of their language and hate.
Two people can say "we want to de-colonize ___" person A intention is to put severe limits on corporate greed, build housing and focus on building strong and diverse communities. While hypothetical person B is a rare radical hiding their hate and desire to eradicate "white people"
I've seen the two ends of the spectrum from real neoNazis and the extremists who want the same national socialism just exchange Jews for whites. It's disgusting how both aren't seen as the same evil scum. There's a big blind spot to radicalism in society today causing a rift and lack of cooperation in the middle
How you gonna decolonize when you are a colonist?
@@LoafingMushroom exactly what I meant by my previous comment. You're just as evil as the Nazis with your blood and soil rhetoric.
What about mixed people? What about people so goddamned mixed they don't have any identity?
@LoafingMushroom without using banned words, your blood and soil rhetoric is the same as painter man. Just as disgusting.
I'm glued to the screen--I'm so proud of you!
aw shucks, thanks darlin
Watching this during the 3 days i took off work to have a surgery, already dreading going back. Thanks for this great video, as someone w a corporate job i appreciate how directly you clocked the abject bullshittery of so much of it
"there is no self-actualisation to be found in work"
LET'S GO BOYS I'M SETTLIN IN
I’m so happy this popped up in my recommended. This is such a well thought and well worded explanation of a feeling I’ve had as a zoomer in corporate America. Excellent stuff, thank you for making it.
watching this directly after getting off work was maybe a mistake.. my brain is gonna chew on this for the rest of the day like a dog with a dangerous bit of plastic. Amazing video!
I’ve been aware for many years of how toxic and boring a question “what do you do?” is. I ask people “what are you into?” A lot of people have a shocked or surprised expression that I’ve asked them something marginally different than the standard line.
I think “what do you do” is also probably mean to establish a dominance hierarchy with people you’ve just met. I don’t give a shit about that. I don’t care if you’re a janitor or a CEO. Are you someone that will be interesting to talk to? Would you be a reliable friend?
What an absolute treat of a video, your way of constructing an argument that follows a comprehensible and chronological progression through your point and into the watchers perspective of it is an incredible talent. I love watching your other projects on patreon and I’m so happy you were able to complete this project! You’ve clearly put a lot of effort in and it really does shine through so massive kudos!
wow this entire video is literally exactly bar for bar what ive been feeling and thinking about for the last few years and i just couldnt express it ANYWHERE even remotely close to this well, lowkey made me tear up, im so happy you made this video genuinely i love you, people like me who are maybe a bit slow or have a scattered brain or dont have enough time to indulge in such an analysis by themselves for many uncontrollable reasons, it truly does mean a lot that you can communicate something like this so well
in the beginning of the video you said something about how this is more focused on an american experience, but truly its barely any different here in most places in europe, younger people nowadays finally are realizing how bullshit all of this is precisely because so many of us had to see our parents and grandparents break their backs and ruin themselves mentally all just to upkeep their image as the "hardworking guy", all just to reach arbitrary social success goals, this is also the reason for so much racism and discrimination against immigrants and roma people, because theyre seen as "lazy", "cowards" and "get to do nothing because we pay their meals with tax money" or whatever, even i, who is studying illustration in uni, get really condescending and lowkey bitter attitudes from my wider family because i can just tell they think im a slacker who doesnt do shit all day, while also envying me in the same breath. My mere existance isnt worth as much as theirs, because im not working 8hours on minimum wage every day at a factory with 3 broken fingers so i can afford renovations on my newly "bought" house(40 years in debt) with my 2 kids that i had at 18years old while my husband makes disgusting sex jokes about me at family gatherings, like literally what is the point in any of that. My ENTIRE family has this miserable history of overworking themselves within a company that could not give less of a shit about their wellbeing, its genuinely too much to even write here, but they still go on and dont do anything about it because they think this is just the price they have to pay to perhaps have one day off a month where they get to drink a beer on a terrace with their neighbour and coincedentally most of their conversation topics are just complaining about work and how long they have left until retirement. However with younger generations coming in and telling it how it is, ive seen their determination and confidence shake, and theyre realizing theyve spent 40 years working a job that provided no value to anybody whatsoever, realizing that its just stolen the time they couldve had to be close to their loved ones instead. Its honestly sad to watch. But theres also a hint of hope when they talk about the young people being "bratty", WE need to change something because i dont intend to suffer like the rest of my family
Not only is it bad for your employees to take their ability to create games outside of work, it’s also horrible for the company because now employees are not going to be able to hone their skills outside of work while working on projects that actually have meaning to them. Being able to pursue your passions outside of work is the only reason workers work in the first place, so to take that away is like shooting your own foot and your employees foot for no reason whatsoever, what a moron. Not only would it discourage workers from wanting to work but him saying that all ideas pitched are now owned by the company is just going to discourage workers from wanting to express their ideas at all. So in doing this that guy has just absolutely crippled any creativity that might have taken place in that studio.
This is just brilliantly written and executed. The point about corporate culture being inherently conservative and soul-sucking is an important one. Even in the field of software engineering, where ostensibly people "don't care what you dress like" there is a software bro code of how to dress.
There are so many absolutely quotable gems that you drop in this video. I feel like many video essays are as long as they are simply to pad for time or appease an algorithm, but honestly despite its length, everything you had to say was profound, well thought out, and delightfully succinct. We need voices like yours that can so perfectly articulate important ideas like these while also making valuable contributions to them. Thanks for your hard work on this one, I'm sure I'm far from the only person it spoke to on such a level
I started watching this before bed thinking "oh neat a video essay that I'll probably fall asleep to but be able to rewatch some in the morning"
I'm obviously still awake, and much like you with Elysium, i don't think I'll be able to stop thinking about your ending monologue and final quote for a long while.
what a banger of a video, the most comprehensive and approachable, and at the same time profound essay on the hell that is work
i am right now in a temporary state of just living my life being supported by a bit of savings and help of a beloved partner. for the last 3 years i was working in corporate IT, fully aware that no meaning or value is being created during these paid hours. i felt my soul and body decaying every day and i knew the cause of it. i ended up severely mentally and physically ill by this fall, and quitting working a corporate job resolved those issues in a month.
i don't know how to try to approach looking for a new job again, and i know that i am blessed for having this break of having my life belong to me for a little bit
I'll eventually continue working for the knife, as mitski eloquently put in her song, but i will not stop trying to save my soul and peace. i encourage everyone who is struggling to keep trying as well. we are so much bigger than our bullshit jobs or our meaningful but criminally undervalued jobs
Yes! I join you in the struggle to keep our souls and our peace. Never give up that striving. It is the *real* good work. ✨🤍🫂
This is exactly like me! My body nearly shut down physically (heart and lungs got infections) and I had to spend some time in the hospital as a result. I'm now back in school to switch career paths into something more meaningful
procrastinated going to bed for fear of work by watching this❤ jokes aside this was incredibly thoughtful, well researched and astute. definitely put into words a lot of the scary feelings I've been having as a young person starting their career!!
This video kicks ass - best use of the RUclips algorithm to serve this to me
As an accountant who picked up reading novels again a few years ago, thank you for putting into words and explaining why modern novels have stopped giving more detailed explanations of the financial situations of their subjects. I read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith earlier this year and it was so refreshing to get exact numbers, multiple times, about how much the characters were making, how much their rent was, how much food cost and what they ate day to day, etc. It was very enlightening to learn that the pro-capitalist forces during the Cold War made a concerted effort to do away with that kind of writing.
37:50 "i was having a meeting about a meeting" i felt it in my bones...i hate all meetings as most of them could be emails, but these specific b*llshit ones are SOUL CRUSHING!
Only 15 minutes in (while sitting in my soul crushing corporate job) and already so grateful the algorithm brought this video to me. What a nuanced and thoughtful approach to a terribly important topic. Can’t wait to see what the rest of the video has in store
I hardly ever comment on videos but this one really made my jaw drop with how eloquently you have connected the various writers and thinkers ideas. As someone who just graduated from art school and dealing with the reality of a successful career in creative work being largely devoid of meaning, I've never felt more seen than with this description of the almost existential horror of the unkillable system of power and work today, and the implications it has on the things I love, but also how common and united we all are in this mess. This was an essay that was about ideas, yet still very remarkably human. Please keep making more of these
Kid you’re brilliant and you have good vocabulary words. This is some level of hell, I’m trying to figure out how to live in the wind.
i usually get turned off really easily by video essays with a decided lack of visuals but your cadence and scripting is very engaging. excellent video 💯
This is incredible, especially loved the last section. I'm burned out from existing in capitalist society. But what if I didn't have to stress over working or obtaining work? If I wasn't incentivized by money? What would I have the energy, the spoons, to do, to help? How can I start re-claiming some of that energy now?
I quit my full time coding job last year, freelanced for a bit, and am now going back but in a much more creative direction (tho still coding). I'm hoping that this direction will be more "fulfilling", tho I've also recently arrived at that realization that I won't find The Meaning Of Life in my work. Truthfully, I don't understand how anyone does this long term, tho I'm ND which maybe plays a part.
This video put words to a lot of half cooked thoughts in my brain, lol. It was also a comfy watch. Excited to watch more :)
I have no useful input but banger video I thought it would be background podcast-type noise but I was glued to every word. Thanks :)
This is an absolutely incredible video, the kind of thing that you think has 500 thousand views but somehow has almost none. Your style of citing and including sources is really engaging, I hope to get to the point where I can use sources with as much talent as you do here.
This is an absolutely incredible video. I struggle to find the words to describe how I feel about the work culture in America but you perfectly articulated it all and more. I’ve seen it devour my friends and wound the soul of my family.
6 months into my first “real” job I knew I wouldn’t survive a normal 9-5. I ended up starting my own business with its own up and downs but I do feel the work I does helps people, and I feel very thankful for that.
this was great! i foresee this channel going places, please keep at it!
"sand the texture of your soul" is exactly what i feel my corporate job is trying to do to me everyday
I love Isbell. Something more than free was one of the albums my dad wanted to show me when I was too young to really resonate with it, but as soon as I started working I fell in love with it all over again. Anyway. Great heartbreaking musician that guy
Really well made video. I think this is going to be one of those essays that i keep coming back to. Cant wait to check out the rest of your channel
When i learned Elysium was made by the District 9 guy, that was the first time in my life i realized “oh, directors can fall off”
Budgets and manpower limitations also exist 😅
Wow this is KILLER. Only half an hour in but top-tier stuff
"Conservative in the way a hotel room is conservative" oh my god
have not yet finished this video bc i was playing it in the background while i worked my corporate 9 to 5 and work has ended lol but it has already impacted me so profoundly. thank you for making this video
Great video! Can't wait to see what you make next.
One of my favourite podcasts, "Well There's Your Problem", often ends with a segment called "Safety Third", which has viewer-submitted work horror stories. Highlights include being asked to enter an industrial food hopper/grinder to take out a metal bar that fell in, a canister of liquid nitrogen exploding in a room without ventilation, a nuclear power plant where the vent fans were installed backwards so radioactive particles would actually build up even more, and being asked to climb a 20-foot yacht sail pole without a safety harness because the rich fuck who owned it was too impatient for it to arrive
Watched all in one sitting. Moved me to tears.
Somehow this video managed to hit so many of the things I care about/am involved in (genre fic, literary fic, MFAs, David Graeber, Bookchin, video games, anarchism, software engineering). Really well done, looking forward to watching more :)
the closest i've ever felt to feeling "fulfilled" at a job was when i worked big industrial sewing machines making leather products (primarily guitar straps). it was difficult on my hands and at times mind numbing to repeat the same action literal hundreds of times. i dont have any kind of passion for guitars or leather working in general but i loved having the feeling of accomplishment that i made something tangible. i actually really enjoyed helping the ceo with a side project where i was almost entirely in control of the process and the way the materials were organized and got to work with my boss on different styles of straps. i looked forward to working on it during the last hour of my shift everyday. and even with all of this i still developed alcoholism at only 22 to cope with how my life was structured because of work. my next job as a gas station attendant made it exponentially worse and nearly killed me because of the existential dread i tried to bury with vodka and the promise that i would be dead instead of having to life through another day. I started my new job at an extremely physically demanding job 3 days ago and i am already in pain and exhausted and it is the first time in a long time i considered stopping at a liquor store after almost a year of being sober from the stuff. its exhausting in a way that nothing else is and i appreciate this video for being so upfront with the horror of existence in this system. i wish i could just create. i think in another kinder life im basketweaving for a community i care about
Huge news! I'm very excited!
I’ve been trying to struggle with this type of overarching setting and ressentiment that builds in my own writing. This video has unblocked a few chakras and liberated some stratified bullshit. Thanks Mel!❤
A) Thank you for keeping me company while I make my first ever bundt cake, B) this video took me viscerally back to my retail/customer service days, which I exited by getting a dream job in the gaming industry... which required such an enormous weekly word count from me that I now have permanent hand pain! Which I guess makes a nice change from all the foot and back pain I had working in a shop 40 hours a week. Abolishing work so we can live and build community sounds amazing to me.
Great vid, well worth all the time you spent on it.
This was excellent fellow Mel! I love thinking about those work parody TikTok’s and now I’m realizing why I keep rereading Parable of the Sower because of its focus on community over the individual. Excited to see what you post next!
This is incredible, the end made me honestly well up with hope and tears. “Well I will” is very special and something I wish our society has more of.
i always glean so much from ur videos whether theyre long or short form, thank u so much for sharing and for the time and effort u put into making such thoughtful, insightful work! i rlly appreciate how u draw from so many different sources/wells of interest to explore a subject from many angles, it is so engaging and encourages me to think more deeply and creatively about the things that are important to me and the art that i enjoy. im sure ill return to rewatch this video many times!!
THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER MENTIONED 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
Mel, I loved this video! I always find you so smart and thoughtful and deeply interesting to listen to and that very much continued here. I am so excited to see what you do in the future and to read/listen to/watch some of the works you mentioned here. Also, great background! I loved tracking the changes.
@@EbayleyA thank you so much friend ♥️♥️
i loved how you followed up the office space section with a relevant KOTH clip, nice touch. Mike Judge is the best. Silicon Valley hits a lot of these points really hard too, you can tell he really understands that environment.
incredible video, i was hooked. excited to see more.
When you said "paying their friends' bills isn't charity because they get something in return: they get each other" i DID start crying a little bit!!
I love your videos! It's so easy to follow what you say and I find it very engaging.
So glad you’re on youtube now! Deleted tiktok but when I had it, every time I saw a video of yours I would listen intently without fail. Same is true when I get an hour straight of content 🙂 So impressed by your ability to quickly and effectively distill large social issues and make connections throughout history and media types. I rarely comment but I appreciate your videos so much I felt compelled to!
I'm lucky to live in Europe. I get a entire months worth holiday or vacation for you Americans guaranteed and protected by government this applies from the lowly service worker too. My company cannot fire me on a whim and must give me 1-2 months of heads up and full pay before I leave the door. I have to be given breaks for every 6-8 hours worked. I have to paid overtime for every hour worked outside my contract.
It's crazy that America is so overworked.
I feel seen in this video, living in the corporate world. I really appreciate the work and thought you put into this and what you have shared. I look forward to reading Lakewood
This was mwaaah, thank you for your art and effort and perspective
Very glad the algo brought this to me, most thoughtful youtube essay I've seen in a while :) Love your work
I loved this so much. I also fully felt the part where you said you switched out of an English degree because you loved writing and therefore did not want a job doing it. As someone who thought that I would get a job in creative writing, preferably editing, out of college, it is one of my bigger regrets. I work at a Law office now as a demand writer and, while not necessarily a BS job, it is very draining. I struggle to creatively write in my free time and even just struggle to read for fun sometimes. The jobs drains me just enough to leave me wanting to do more, but I don't have the energy to do anything more.
Its a frustration every day. I clock out feeling demotivated. I spend all work day putting off ideas for writing and looking forward to the book I'm currently reading, only to clock out and need to make dinner and not want to sit at my desk anymore because of back pain and only able to read 10 pages before I find myself waking up to my husband taking my book out of my hands and putting in my bookmark. I've stopped freelance editing because I'm just so tired all the time.
The Doublefine stuff is so terrifying and dystopian for me.
yeah this was the only part of the video that affected me so much during editing i had to take a BREAK
@@pagemeltI had a similar sort of thing happen to me a few years ago. I worked for a video game company, and when I was hired I had to sign something that basically asked me to list out any intellectual property ideas I had, and then had verbiage afterward I was supposed to sign in agreement to that said something like the things I’d listed above was an exhaustive list of all my ideas, so any ideas I hadn’t listed for the duration that I worked for the company were created for the company and belonged to them. It was written in a very loose way that implied all IPs, not just video game IPs. It made me extremely uncomfortable so I refused to sign it as-is. Thankfully they didn’t push me on it.
Amazing video, you’ve put so many thoughts I didn’t know I had into words!!! Now I desperately want to re-read Bullshit Jobs!
This is such a sentimental well thought out take on the world of work and I'm all for it. I like your introspective take and I'd love to see more content like this. You've earned my sub, great job putting this video together!
This was such a deeply enjoyable watch. Thank you for making this video, Mel! I took breaks from it to complete care work this evening and loved being able to let the ideas marinate a little before going back in for more.
haven't finished the video yet but i would love to hear you talk about anomalisa. feel like you'd maybe expand my mind prism with that one.
wow i'm just loving all of this. the first video essay that's connected with me in a long time. loving the more austere, relaxed lecture style with more minimal editing. phenomenal work.
Great video and well worth the watch. I appreciate all of the different sources you reference, definitely going to check out some of the books you mentioned.
It was also surprisingly motivating. Motivating to try and get out of this system.
Thank you for drawing on the robust scientific consensus about animal training to explain work without coercion. ❤
amazing analysis!! so glad the youtube algorithm showed me this
really beautiful video. I was watching office space again recently for the first time since I was a kid and was persistently thinking about Graeber’s work throughout so I’m glad to see those connections validated and explored so thoroughly here. thank you!!
aaah thank you for posting on RUclips again and on this topic!!!
first time a video essay has made me cry
Thank you for shedding light on and vocalizing a feeling I have been having for awhile
This was an incredible video, and very thought-provoking. Thank you for making this. I look forward to more of your content.
Thank you so much for this video essay. I needed to hear this, because the past while I've been working has felt bullshit, and all other options have felt bullshit.
What you've said about doing work that 'no one wants to do' struck a real chord with me; Ironically I had the luxary of rebelling against art-school-enthusiast parents, and instead I'll be going to lawschool soon, because I genuinely enjoy the components of legal work and I find the end result fulfilling - But I'm terrified of entering a system that makes me choose between soulless evil work or overwork (ie. public defenders). I guess I just wanted to say that this video gave me a bit of hope.
100/10!!! Love your content of any length and happy to report long form is truly delightful. Excited for whats to come!
Hi, Pagemelt! Like many others, I clicked on this video due to it's length and strong indication of it being a video essay. I can certainly say you've absolutely nailed it in terms of presentation, source material and eloquent rhetoric. This is an absolutely wonderful piece of work and you should be very proud of what you've created.
On less fun stuff, I completely agree with everything you've presented and mentioned throughout - I think the rise of a cultural epoch that heavily ties identity to work is mega-depressing and soul crushing. The questions you've asked at the end of the video are also very thought provoking. I totally agree that everyone does indeed want to do work, even the less 'desirable' jobs (think of Perfect Days directed by Wim Wenders) but the ultimate cultural norm of people entirely relying on what can only be described as wage serfdom simply causes more harm than good.
Crazy good video, well done.
PS. you totally remind me Tim Rogers from Action Button and I think you would immensely enjoy his gargantuan and ever-introspective game reviews.
as a first year uni student, studying BUSINESS this video really hits. im dreading the time when i have to leave education to get a corporate job and make an evil corporation marginally richer. it just depresses the hell out of me. thanks for make this video, im going to be thinking about it for a while
Really hope this video gets to more people. We need to start opening up about our realities more.
I belong to a country that is very exploited in terms of work. Corporations come here, hire us, only to pay less for our job and making us work more hours. We are all so miserable but we pretend it’s “necessary.” We tell ourselves being exploited means we’re strong. It fucking sucks.
Haunting, ominous, and hitting all too true. Thank you for the discussion and I hope for a better world soon
Incredible video. Also, I majored in English and spent many years blogging for small BnB tech companies. I actually did try and I’d stand by anything I ever wrote. But so many of those sites are dead now, and gone is all the fruit of my labor 😅
I’m excited to be incredibly sad, the Elysium hook is 100/10
Brilliant analysis
Hello fellow software person (I used to be on the development side, and you're on the design side, wow I admire people who make things useful and beautiful!!!)
Anyways, this video is eye opening. I still don't think my job is bullsh** but you made me question it, and that's something!
I'm happy your video got recommended, looking forward to seeing your other stuff!
This rules, thanks for making it. That quote from the double fine doc by Matt fucking Booty was so harrowing when I first saw it. I'm glad someone recognized the madness happening there and called it out for what it was. I work in the games industry and was laid off a couple months ago, and not only are my personal projects my lifeline during unemployment -- both structurally, to stave off depression, and financially, albeit in a small way, they're also the kindling of the entire reason I fucking got into this into the first place. Everything important I learned about making games, I learned myself -- and brought that to work. It's fucking agonizing to hear that the entire reason my resume was good enough to get into this industry is also radioactive the moment I make it in. My last job was shitty in many ways, but I am thankful that my last employer had the sense to realize moonlighting was worth allowing folks to do.
appreciated the rest of the video much to think about but also!!!! thank you for reminding me zack and miri is a thanksgiving movie
this was amazing, sharing with many friends now !!!!!
and gosh, what a rich reference list!! excited to dig into your footnotes
this is genuinely so good, subbed
super excited for this!!
Brilliant work, thank you!
This showed up on my feed and now I'm a subscriber. You're so insightful! Thank you so much for making this.