My best friend was triangulating my wife. They were having an emotional affair. I ended up dumping my best friend of 30 years once I realized he is a covert narc. Then people started calling me paranoid. This triangulation is horrible. These narcs are terrible people
The exact same thing happened to me. Friend of 30+ years groomed my wife. I work away and he was always over gaslighting her to the point she believed I had several mistresses. My wife has bi polar 2 and he convinced her to stop taking her meds, just to make her an easier target. By the time I got home (after 2 months) she was so skinny and frail from all the sadness and abuse. It's been a year and she's fully recovered...I think. Took a while trying to study adult grooming, but once I found covert narcissism it was a perfect fit. (Also see Raw Motivations on RUclips...great channel...when we found that page all the pieces fell together perfectly)
My best friend broke me and my boyfriend up when we were young. She started dating him and his best friend. Somehow after all this she convinced everyone I was a slut and horrible friend. It screwed me up for years. Anyways, she Eventually she married someone else. For 5-6 years she had an emotional affair on her husband with that guy. Everyday her husband left for work she'd call, text, message her ex. Her husband still doesn't know, or doesn't care. He is actually friends with another one of her exes. It's twisted. I cut her off this year after 25 years. I'm so glad you shared your experience it makes me feel not crazy
If you feel you’re being triangulated in an inappropriate way, you are. That feeling is enough. You can listen to yourself, your intuition. Your feelings can matter *to you* even if they don’t to the narc. You don’t need a narc’s permission to have them or validation. The more you try to get that, the more of your power and responsibility for your feelings you give them, but you can take those back. You can just agree to prioritize your relationship with yourself, instead of managing a relationship with them. Because that’s all it is: a pain management system develops in you to accept treatment like this, only it’s an illusion. It seems like it’s helping but really is keeping you stuck, like an addiction, long-term. It’s a band aid over a wound that requires surgery.
It’s not always the X doing this horrific behavior, but other relatives determined to ruin everything you have. Watch out for these “ relationships “ narcs have with your kids.
True and very frustrating. Most of us grew up believing our family would watch out for, encourage and love our children. Then as time goes by some of us come to the hard realization many years later. Narcissists will go after your grown children to take you down. That’s not love. They don’t love your children is they are willing to weaponize them against you. Passive aggressive Narcissists are the worst because it’s hard to explain/prove how evil they are. Being willing to weaponize nieces, nephews, cousins, spouses of cousins etc in an effort to take you down is Evil. Often they will put forth all this negativity and malicious intent simply because you possess the qualities they don’t. Such as kindness. Truthfulness. An ability to admit to mistakes. That’s not who they are and they will resent others who are. They don’t want honest feedback; they want praise and agreement to whatever their narrative is.
Especially ADVOCACY you didn’t ask for. That can get tricky, because sometimes a NEEDY PERSON will use you or someone else, then later JOIN back with abusers long since gone or removed from the scenario!⚠️I saw that happen to somebody. Be the healthy helper only to have the original victim stuck up for, turn coat, and look for support elsewhere just to keep grifting. How that looks is, “Help me, I dont trust my family/spouse. Then later.... now the person makes up with the family/spouse/friends, and you’ve said and done too much. Advocate where people ask you to when you want to. Not just automatically, that’s my thing. Because you might be just gonna bring somebody groceries, or give them a ride, and now the jealous narcissist sees that. Which makes it TOXIC.
My narcissistic mother is a master at triangulation. She manipulates my father and siblings and lies and tells them that I said and did things I never did and said. I have lost my whole family because of her.
They will NEVER assume responsibility for their crazy making, so triangulation is a way of making others clean up their mess. More for less……….exactly. Quick side story: I was called in multiple times to testify in my sociopath ex-business partner's divorce. At a traverse (garnishment) hearing I was so fed up that finally I said: "I am an outside third party. The two parties and the lawyers are trying to triangulate me into their divorce. It is NOT my problem or my responsibility." You know what? The judge sided with me !!!!!!!!
When my sister finally figured bout my mom was a Narcissist she stopped talking to her and now we have an excellent relationship. Once the triangulation was gone our relationship became repaired.
Constantly on the phone or texting work colleagues, talking about both work & personal issues. We could be in a cafe having lunch & he stays on the phone for too long.
My 11 year old daughter was taken after brain surgery and is being used as a tool. But I'm working out now. Putting my Life back together. I'm becoming the world class athlete I am inside once again. Trevor
5 triangulation tactics: (summary in parentheses is in my own words/ understanding) 1. Playing people off against each other (creating a feeling of being not enough/ fear of losing the narc/ approval/ opportunities etc., so you give more/ chase the narc) 2. Idealize and devalue switch (going back and forth between supply sources) 3. Inappropriate relationships (similar to emotional cheating) 4. Allies, real or imagined (ambiguous “other people” agreeing with the narc) 5. Using children against you Solution: detachment and inner healing ❤️🩹 working on your own insecurities and creating healthy relationships 🤍 thank you
In terms of point #4, my narc wife liked using that "everybody says" thing when it came to some of my actions which to my mind were quite rational but problematic for her. But when I asked her to name some of the people that shared her opinion, there was a deafening silence!
My ex "boyfriend" triangulated me with his dead wife, who had only been dead for 3 months when he started dating me. I had no idea about grief and he told me he just wanted someone to go have dinner with, "to get out of the house." I had no clue. Well, he love bombed me straightaway, "we're twin flames, I feel like I've known you from another life, our connection is so amazing, I feel guilty for loving you so much so quickly after Penny's death", blah blah blah all this was said in the first couple of WEEKS....then the comparisons started. And the horrible triangulation. You can't stand up for yourself against a woman who passed away. Live and learn. I knew about narcissism as I had been in a long marriage to a cerebral narc, but this one was very different. This one caused me to stop and take notice of why I'm attracting these fools. Now I know, and I love myself too much to suffer another one. Once I got smart, and couldn't be manipulated, he was on to another one who is being manipulated as we speak. I tried to tell her, b/c what kind of woman would I be if I didn't. Of course she didn't want to hear it, but that's ok. Of course she made me the villian, and that's ok too. I'm fine being the villian in that story - but to go through that horror and NOT warn the next woman would be unconscionable, and I'm not that. God is leveling me up, and I had to go through that, but Lord it was hard.
Super demonic. My mother did this to me with my younger sister who is a narc, and her fourth husband. She’d make things up because he always thought I was really nice and if he stood up for me, or anyone else for that matter, she would throw these wild tantrums. I’m an empath so I never stood up for myself and always took the abuse. She and my sister both have done this my entire life. Now I’m older, I stay the heck away from both my sister and mother. I live a very happy life and am happily married in a healthy relationship.
This happened to me in my last relationship. I was being triangulated with their ex but I didn't get it until after I was discarded. I realize because I didn't up the anti because even though it felt weird and disconcerting, I didn't think I had anything to worry about because like a good ball I didn't think I had any reason to think this person was lying to me or manipulating me. Now I know, it's Stoopid. It hurt, it sucked and it's something I would not have done. It's such a weird screwed up disorder. I was told the old person they broke up with was this horrible awful person who never treated them right and it was a kitty party. Than after I was discarded I imagine I was than the person that treated them wrong I never abused this person, I was inexperienced and didn't know what was going on, it's so messed up.
Absolutely tremendous, Thank you so much for this Melanie, You're absolutely beautiful, Peace, love to you and everyone, Thank you universe ⚘️🥰😍😁💎💫👽🐺💙🐉✨️🛸♾️🤗😀👁🐴🌌😊🧝♀️🧿🧿💜💜🦄😁💞
The problem in a work situation is if you alert people to the the fact that a coworker or boss is like this, others either won't believe you, tell you your paranoid or talking "psycho babble", or they may be receptive to your views and even agree but not say it and quietly ignore it in hopes that THEY aren't targeted someday or in retaliation for being on your side. We have entirely too many cowards in the world from what I've noticed who are not part of the solution - so to me, they are part of the problem and no help so no better than the disordered instigating narcissistic person. I was in a situation like this in a graduate school program and became so miserable, I had to leave. I won't go into specifics but even universities which used to be a safe haven for free expression, debate, and forward thought are turning into a back-biting, toxic culture no better than climbing a corporate ladder in the business world or the manipulative snake pit of politics. For now, I've put finishing my masters on hold as it's just too anxiety producing... and that's sad. Also, I've had jobs with people like this looking back but I wasn't involved directly and/or not there long enough to care. Behavior I think of as childish and unprofessional is now apparently accepted and once you've been directly involved or targeted, you start to see it everywhere. Sure it's good on one hand to be aware, but sad if it stalls your career or turns you into an anxious paranoid mess - which it can absolutely do 😔
My sister does the one where she, accidentally/on purpose, "lets slip" that other family members say the same (negative) thing about me that she happens to be trying to guilt me for. She won't pull this "trick" out of her bag unless she feels her current insult or guilt trip isn't working on it's own...but when it's clearl to her that it's NOT working, THAT is when she pulls this tactic out. Initially, I was only wise to her bogus insults and guilt tripping, but WASN'T yet wise to this "double whammy" one. But then started to notice THIS pattern...and began to question IT's validity as well...and realized....NO ONE else in the family really feels the way she wants me to THINK they feel about me...(unless she has temporarily convinced THEM that I'm a threat to THEM...which occasionally happens but it's usually short lived). I know her typical pattern because I've been one of those "others" when she's speaking negatively about someone else. We all just listen, and may "appear" to agree by not challenging her...because we all know what will follow if we do. THIS is extremely likely what she is "selling as" total "agreement" from "everyone else" in the family....Whether I'm the target or whether she's gathering ammunition for future manipulations of these others. It's so pathetic. It used to be torture, but now that I see very clearly what these games are really about, I just do what I can to make it clear to her that I'm not biting...mostly by "gray rocking", and not getting de-railed by my own emotional responses. This clearly scared the hell out of her when I started doing this, because the tricks that had worked so well and for so long are now completely useless to her. She almost seems panicked to me at times. It's hard to witness ANYONE be so panicked like that...and easy to forget all of the pain she's caused when see it. I'll usually just change the subject, to lighten the burden a little, and move on.
I know that I’m being triangulated with two other people. The other two have seen different sides of what’s going on. I know EXACTLY what’s happening, and, I know what the narc is attempting to do in this whole mess. It’s annoying, but I’m doing my best to keep to my own boundaries; I’ve stood up against the narc and I felt empowered. They know I’m on to them and I’ve experienced the manipulative tactics right in front of me as to how they are attempting to justify their behaviour! It’s disgusting!
I had a friend who engaged in triangulation tactics, which at the time I didn’t realize what she was doing. Now I realize that because of her deep insecurities , she would place our mutual friend on a pedestal and proclaim that she was her best and closest friend. This was her proclamation during every phone conversation. After learning about the insidious tactics of triangulation, I now see it for what it was - a means to make me feel insecure about our friendship; to jockey for a number one position in her life in order to fill her insatiable need for narcissistic supply. Wow…..
I am new to NARP. I have only done like four healings, but it is crazy how I already hear your videos differently. Its like going through the looking glass. Things are much clearer.
Tried controlling method on me, I woke up and her tactics didn't work anymore. Then she used the children (parental alienation) which goes hand and hand with the narcissist . Haven't seen the kids since July 19 2021. I had one but with disregard to our justice / law eventually worm tongued that child against me.. It's a sad and destructive disorder 😞
I always said … “it’s like you want to control the narrative and all the stories are different” and he’d try to keep each of us from talking to each other……. And he’d say “don’t talk about me” to all of us if we did speak to each other.
You are reading the script of my life. I was successful detaching from certain family members, but...”he” hooked me right back in😞, despite me being in your program. I’ll go do a shift🙏🏻
You are terrific. On point all the time. Sad that these people ruin Lives. In my Case My Son who I treated wonderfully, was my best friend. Now wants nothing to do with me. He pulled away and lived with his mother for a decade. She was able to list him on TROs etc. Poor kid his Mom moved away and he has no Father either. And he’s is on The Spectrum.
The narc did almost all of these triangulations. With people we know, with strangers out in public -probably flashing a big smile when I wasn't looking to get their attention. She would make a point to bring my attention to how some guy was following her around the supermarket... which happened OFTEN. She triangulated me with celebrities changing the background image on her mobile phone/tablet from a family photo or a photo of the two of us with some hot Hollywood hunk. 10 years ago I knew something wasn't right but I didn't understand what. Thanks for the information!
Yeah i know family members that love these techniques then they kinda get upset when they can’t use me to attack someone else when I started realizing what I was doing to them… so if someone allows themselves to be triangulated it’s the same as the person doing the triangulating and people have the RIGHT to manipulate energy how they see fit. But it has its effects… experienced so much of these types of things… they don’t understand the levels of understanding I have of what they don’t yet understand about me… I’m never the one frustrated in the end because I realize they’ve given you all the power. The more they talk the more they invest in you. The brain attaches itself to whatever it focuses on. They are constantly focused on you so you have a million minds paying attention to you every little move… if you really understand that they’re all in a form of love with you and you don’t even know them. When you really learn what these people are giving you… their giving you their souls. Do what you want with that.
I had an issue with his exes on Facebook, sharing memories, photos & loving comments etc. He triangulated me with his work colleagues. Oh I asked ladies at work and they think you are insecure bla bla
Just been through this too. Concerning he is a social worker and quite happy using manipulative tactics good riddance to him. I hope you are getting over it and moving forward
I cannot remember how many times my narc coworker has triangulated me with other coworkers. Even after got exposed, she is still doing it until now. Her target is still the same: me.
@@marciloni12right when they triangulate your competition they entire mission is to come around you and mutual people and cause division a lot of insecure women do it my cousin did it to me so I know that game now
My mom triangulated me with my siblings my whole life. I'm the youngest of 4, the two oldest were grown and moved out when I was small. My other sister closer in age lived with us through my teenage years. My mom(and dad) lied to me, manipulated, devalued, dismissed and gaslighted me constantly, and then told my siblings her version of the story in which I'm crazy and she didn't even do anything to me. They never listened and the sister that I grew up with often times joined in on the "fun". She sure loved to F with me.. A little over a year ago, it was my birthday.. everyone was over. There was one of the most devestating episodes of this, and I decided to give up. I went mostly no contact with my siblings for like 6 months. I stopped responding to my mom's comments that always triggered me(still living with them, have struggled to get my own place) I went within and began to heal. I truly detached emotionally from it all. Then the holidays rolled around and I think my siblings began to notice that maybe I'm not crazy, and started to see what I had been talking about all these years. Because they all had plans to go out to a Christmas thing, and my mom didn't tell me anything about it until about 30 min before they were going to leave. I have 3 kids, and so that wasn't enough time to get ready. And her excuse(per usual) was that there wasn't enough room in her car for all of us, just for my oldest(they favor him, and I also have my own car, so this never makes any sense). My sister showed up and I mentioned casually how I just found out, and she was like, "Wait, you didn't know?" And my mom made some random excuse, and I just walked out. They all have their own group text, that I'm not included in in which my parents often lie to them about me(I've read one of my dad's long texts as he was typing it once) and I think she probably told them that I just wasn't wanting or able to go, and they thought I knew. She has done this MANY times. They have began to be a lot different with me since then. And I have re entered the family dynamic, only this time much stronger, more self-assured, non-reactive and able to just be myself, with more firm/calm boundaries. I think they noticed how I had changed and wasn't fighting anymore, and just my energy was different.. but she was still saying stuff to them. If you can learn to seperate yourself, the truth will start to come out.
Ignoring the Red Flags, and not Admitting these things Exist is truly not reality,You can't fix a Cheater, a Psychopath, or A Narcissist, it's as simple as you can't take Blood from Stone. My husband started getting frequent night calls, when I asked him just waved off those calls as unimportant. At some point i could take no more of his lies, I decided l deserve to know what was going on. Someone on here referred me to this Tech genius who helped cloned his phone without physically touching it. All I did was send his phone number to him and through a remote link sent to my email, I was able to access all of his texts, emails, Facebook and Instagram chats, real-time call listening and her long deleted messages as if the phone was physically with me. He is a narc, a cheater and a terrible liar, I’m glad i found out all his secrets. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help you can get in touch with him instagram.com/jeanson_james_hack__?
my narc father and narc sister ganged up on me..I was dads carer. They also involved family, friends, doctors police etc. Two against one. Now my father has passed, and my narc sister is spreading rumours and involving lawyers etc..i can't keep up, she gave me a heart attack literally.
As you mention the inappropriate relationships, i can't help but think of that between my narc wife and her mother who was extremely toxic. That woman could never do any wrong in her eyes, and she was always there to stir up trouble between my wife and I, during which my wife would always take her side over mine. On more than one occasion I had to ask her who she was really married to, and whether, as a so-called devout Christian, she had never read the part in the Bible that spoke about 'leaving and cleaving" when it came to the parental relationship after marriage. Her brother also got involved in the triangulation process, in that he would tell me one story and then say something completely different to my wife, which would then stir up an argument between us.
A hybrid narcissists has been triangulating me with a classic narc since childhood. It's one of the most horrendous and off-putting things. Somehow it's a way to tap into your energy using negativity. 🙂
@@CasualPower9 It's a life drainer for sure, no contact is a must because dealing with more than one narc is never good. What's tricky with a hybrid narc is they can appear very normal at all times. I didn't know he was tapping into my energy for a long time, until my energy got really low. The only positive is it helped me to try harder to release myself not only form the hybrid but from other narcs as well. 🙂
@@CasualPower9 Yep they switch it on and off when you're turn comes around it's on full. In the case of the hybrid his whole life is setup for energy draining. They only time he'll go out of his way is if he knows he can suck the life out of you. 😳
@@CasualPower9 I believe your right the danger is them not knowing their evil. They resonate along side those that every one knows as evil. The most bizarre behavior from the hybrid, was his behavior after a satanic ritual was performed on me. He didn't know anything about it yet laid claim stating it's some sort of victory. Somehow he was tapping into the energy of the event even though he had no involvement in it. It's quite sicking first and foremost their energy vampires with no care or concern of your well-being. 😦
@@CasualPower9 It wasn't easy it took several healing methods to heal from. During the time anytime I tried to heal from it the one's involved would chase me with a knife. Somehow they can tell what you're doing, at the time I was more focused on staying alive. It happened more years ago, though I'm sure it's still happening today. 🙂
@@CasualPower9 It's terrible though these things happened year's ago it can be difficult to heal from. Got through all that and you think glad that's over except then there's narcissists. I thought if can survive all that narc's would be a breeze how wrong I was. LOL 🙂
Inappropriate relationships - my ex, whenever we would have an argument, would pull her 11-year-old son (my step-son) into bed with her and kiss him on the lips for up to an hour. When I remarked that what she was doing was inappropriate, she countered, "Just because you never had any love from your parents, doesn't mean that is the how it is in other families." She eventually abandoned me and our biological child to join a cult and have an intimate relationship with another woman. I'm very glad she is gone.
@@brendarewan7441 I did report her SA. Her first husband reported it twice. One of her kids reported it. Cops did nothing because a woman was the accused. Just look at how female teachers who SA are not held accountable.
My cruel mother in law has triangulated me for the past 16 years by bragging to me about my husbands ex-girlfriend. Always boasting about how "drop-dead gorgeous" she was and how much she liked her. She brought photos of this woman over to MY house one time and showed them to our dinner guests. Again, bragging about how beautiful she was. My husband just sat there like a chump.
@@MC-rw2bk Thanks for this. The ex girlfriend was a heroin addict and a mud wrestler at the Tropicana in Hollywood, back in the day. This is the trash that I was negatively compared to. Yes, I am well aware that my nasty MIL was using her as a "triagulation tool" to level me down. It was so transparent that she was trying to "stir the pot" as you have said. She is now banned from our house and we have not visited in almost four years. She shot herself in the foot.
i experience all these, my mothr does not feel good when i am with my daughtr she thinks she has more right and domination , and feels envious of everything
Mine did that in front of the kids, when we first started living together and before we got married. We we're sitting around the supper table. She said that her ex used to tell stories at the supper. I said "well, how did that work out for you?"She did not react well. I wish I knew then what I know now, and I would've left
I wish I had watched this before i got into a relationship with her... I spent months telling my ex I didn't want to be in a relationship with her and her "friend" now I know it was abuse
He puts them ahead of me all the time. It's creepy. They go out together to brunch and leave me home when I'm supposedly engaged. She doesn't invite me either or stand up and say that's wrong..I'm sure he didn't tell her he future faked me and left me at my parents with a diamond and pretends he never said that. Over there he plays husband father house in general. At the drop of a dime. I think they both have NPD. Pretty girl like his daughter shouldn't be alone at 38 years old. Completely selfish people.
The narc has never done that. I wouldn't react if he did. I don't care what others think. If they're dumb enough to believe him then they weren't a friend to begin with. He has no friends and my friends don't talk to him or associate with him. They know what he is. So do I. I don't listen to anything he says. He's tried it all even with our son. I just laugh to myself because it's so ridiculously untrue. I don't need the approval of him or others. I'm absolutely good enough just like I am. You have to learn to depend on yourself and give yourself what you need and stop looking outside of yourself for approval and love. You are the one you've been waiting for. It's always been you whose love you wanted. You have to be all those things to yourself. He talks about people and I laugh. What a piece of work and how low you have to be to use others to temporarily feel superior. It's not a relationship. It has never been a relationship. That was delusion. They can't have relationships. They just take people hostage if you allow them to. He doesn't talk to anyone ever. He's too paranoid they'll find out who he is like I did. He doesn't bother. I have told him to please go find someone else. He'd be doing me a favor. I haven't had sex with him or slept in the same room with him for 20 years. My 32 yr old son doesn't talk to him anymore. Or me. I refused to allow my son and his wife to manipulate me and they voluntarily ended all contact. Problem solved. I did have a boss do that but they only got like 3 people to believe them. Everyone who knows me knows I don't steal. I don't care what those 3 people think. They're dumb asses is they believe that narc woman who owns that business. I walked out when she tried putting me down and manipulating me. I just walked out and never looked back. It's their loss not mine. I don't need any job bad enough to sell my soul and compromise my values for money from those people. I had cut my mom off too several years before she died, for disrespecting me and putting me down. She was a narc. When I started the inner work I no longer needed her approval. I'm the one who's supposed to love and accept me and as long as I do that, I don't need others' approval. That's working for me quite well. If you don't NEED anything from others then they cannot manipulate you. You can be friends and not be emotionally dependent on others. I have to physically depend on others at times because I'm in a wheelchair. But that's maybe 1% of the time. And if they cannot help, the universe always sends me someone or I figure out a way to do it myself. The narc did me a favor by being lazy. I found out I don't need him for 99% of the tasks I do. I learned how to mow the yard with a push mower in my wheelchair. And it isn't self propelled. I weed eat, I fix things. I just can't do ladders. Yet. Working on that at the gym. Weight training. Maybe one day. I'm 56 and I can do whatever I set my mind to. I may do it differently but I find a way. I'm not a victim. I am strong and independent and proud of all i have accomplished despite the "limitations". The only cants right now...ladders and shovels.
My x triangulated me with a coworker (male) when I left him for good. He manipulated this coworker to show him my FB friends list. He randomly chose a guy and started saying that’s why I broke up with him because I was cheating with this random guy on FB. Such a manipulative tactic to deflect responsibility for the true repast for me leaving him. He wants to smear my name at work cause he has a bad reputation already. So he wants to drag me down with him
I feel like I’m being triangulated by my bf with one of his FB friends. He says he doesn’t like her or talk to her but yet she knows personal details. He recently started smearing me as being a narc on his posts and she started loving those posts commenting with excited avatars of her. I asked him to unfriend her, explaining that I felt uncomfortable and triangulated…. He threw a temper tantrum and blocked me. I guess she and the supply he gets from her is more important than me 😢
Narcissists doing triangulation should get triangulated and entangled by God in all sorts of activities and situations in which the narcissists engage in or found themselves in on a daily basis by which the narcissistis"s mind get exhausted rapidly and eventually collapse resulting from those unpleasant tormenting situations arising from unwanted confrontations with people and stuff and get entangled and unabale to move on being strucked by misfortunes and get stucked in whatever whatsoever and whenever they try to do anything to feed their narcissistic mind thereby the empaths are given justice by God for all the sufferings the empaths had to suffer and bear from the triangulation that was caused by the narcissists.
My daughters narc brings over too her home “ the friend too show her shes crazy that theyre just friends- He is dancer/ singer so this friend he claimed is a “ Pole Dancer” stripper in her spare time. Also the two women locked theirself in bathroom and compared notes- He told the “ friend that my daughter had moved to LA She had not- He told her that the friend came to his apartment and had fit about their relationship- he had to throw her out- they werent talking- He invited this girl to festival when my daughter in hospital having surgery- He was having sex with both women for 6 months He got her to rent apartment down street from him tht was too expensive promising too move in and split cost- he never did leaving daughter struggling and locked into year lease in apartmet she couldnt afford. He further has a dump and started entertaining his friends in her beautiful apartment- has never given her a dime and on her birthday finally took her out to nice dinner only to charge her for her half when they got into a fight he caused- He regularly rages and cusses her out using the most foul language - and started telling her she doesnt know how too dress right-
Why is it anyone's bussiness a stranger or family or a topic being discussed about a person or person X Y or Z that you will never be with again. I think that is a good reason why women like me sit in our peace about being single and loving ourselves. We are like trees with our own branches and leaves that deserve to with ourselves unapologetically wheather Narcs or flying monkeys got so toxic manliptive crap to say about it. Using children to try to pull a relationship back together is wrong. I remember when people sent me through so much crap they would make meme talking about I had resting bitch face when I seen children strangers children and children who yheir parents has would not involved the innocent of children to attack a person behind a ending of a relationship. Corruption the mimd of children to act brutal towards the person who leaves a toxic relationship involving all these people. We don't teach children to abuse, mental, emotionally or verbally because a relationship is ending. We go to go get help so we won't raise children to become as cold as whoever might be the man or woman just because something is ending in a relationship. To guard the ears of children and deal and end stuff like mature adults do is healthy not use children to become toxic.
My boyfriend has a "friend" who had sex in the past is a go to... Goes to his parents house and maintain contact with ex sexual partners and tells me and shows me the nudes that they send, I'm not jealous or paranoid witch he tells me I am but something feels of and a feel insignificant, confuse and insicure
I think people who respect triangulators are probably delusional or in denial or triangulators themselves. There's just no way they are respectable people and that's abuse so they certainly don't have much respect for you which isn't something that you can change. Some people only respect criminals and punish those who are not. Nothing you'll say will ever change that. I don't even go there anymore. When someone suspects me in the least I label them as shallow and a waste of time. And they do waste your time to please some criminal who abuses them as being lied to is manipulation and manipulation is psychological abuse. Misery always loves company. I still feel bad for caring about it, but they bring it upon themselves merely based on appearances. Depth is necessary in life. There's always going to be an excuse for the female psychopath and triangulators have a long list known by heart. If only they had a long list for you, but that's never the case. The triangulator is the reason why the female psychopath is capable of offending, but no, you can never do anything right and are the problem. They on the other hand are misunderstood because paychopaths are innocent until proven guilty 😂but you are guilty until proven innocent and they know you so well based on just your looks. Shallow is useless in life. 😂
I can’t help believe that triangulation and avoidant personality and failure to make eye contact are all related. The narcissist will use triangulation over and over because they have a limited number of gameplays. Because they lack empathy they lack the ability to deal with novel problems creatively. Once you learn their games it’s like a preschool teacher dealing with five year olds. Once you’ve dealt with one five year old you’ve dealt with all five year olds.
My boyfriend got caught cheating on me i got a text from her on his cell # that he my guy was IN HER BED AT THIS MOMENT sleeping with her we were on a 5 day break she proceeded to text me she uses him for sex when she feels like it......well it was sad hurtful and shocking up till this moment I thought he loved me is this triangulation or just evil?
With my ex husband, he would be bluffing about a third person entirely, his confidence was really impressive. Often what he described was totally fake, he was just pulling names he thought would sway me. He was very upset that he couldn't control the way i saw him; the more he tried, the more convinced i was that he was dysfunctional. He could not see how he was digging his own hole deeper and deeper. They assume you won't check with others. Do it. Every time, benefit of the doubt in the moment is fine to stay safe, but make sure you check when you get the time, and document it in all the ways you can. Eventually my ex husband tried to tell me my family said xyz; I immediately saw what he was doing. I am protective of my family and that he even had their names in his mouth sent off blaring alarms in my mind. The ironic part was his confirmation bias, if he did talk to a third person, he could have easily warped his understanding of their words and behaviors to confirm his narrative, just as he did with me. So why would i pay attention to anything he had to say about what another party had to say?? He wasnt with reality, denying things right in his face. He stopped visiting our son when he realized it wouldn't give him access to harrassing me.
Is this triangulation...? When all was well, the narc would use our photo or a photo of me as the background image on her phone. When I needed to be brought down a peg, she would change the image to a celebrity.. it could be a musician or actor, etc. She was limerent and would also post images of her fantasy men to social media for all our friends and family to see. She might post 5 or more photos of a particular actor on the same day. Minimally, I perceived this odd behavior as emotional infidelity. I never mentioned it to her because I knew she'd never meet these famous people and she'd just accuse me of being insecure or jealous. But what it did was create a deep distrust of her. She talked about marriage all the time. But who would marry a person who posted images of other men to social media? Not me! The abusive tactics continued to escalate over the years and I eventually asked her to leave. Been no contact for 544 days as of today.
Yes I experienced this on a high level. Pitting me against other woman/ people. It was very demoralising. 🦜🦚 This was a huge part of me growing up with a renactment of my childhood. ⚘️🌿 I've been working 💪 with NARP vigorously every night 🌙 and realize it all played ▶️ out in my adult life with cruelty with friends etc. ⚘️ Alot of past life clearing at the moment. Thanks Mel. ⚘️🌼💐
![Mario & Luigi: Brothership - Royal Wedding, The Good & Bad Scenarios... [16]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/MbOxbJsLMoI/mqdefault.jpg)
Shift out of your pain and fear with the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program - courses.melanietoniaevans.com/p/narp 🦋
Leave Narcissists to other Narcissists. Let them destroy each other.
EXACTLY what I am experiencing! They are in the process of destroying one another!🤣
CHECKMATE. THAT'S WHAT THEY END UP WITH ALWAYS....
I am doing it! 😊
Brilliant! ❤ They could make it a stadium sport to replace Monday night football 😂
My best friend was triangulating my wife. They were having an emotional affair. I ended up dumping my best friend of 30 years once I realized he is a covert narc. Then people started calling me paranoid. This triangulation is horrible. These narcs are terrible people
The exact same thing happened to me. Friend of 30+ years groomed my wife. I work away and he was always over gaslighting her to the point she believed I had several mistresses.
My wife has bi polar 2 and he convinced her to stop taking her meds, just to make her an easier target.
By the time I got home (after 2 months) she was so skinny and frail from all the sadness and abuse.
It's been a year and she's fully recovered...I think.
Took a while trying to study adult grooming, but once I found covert narcissism it was a perfect fit.
(Also see Raw Motivations on RUclips...great channel...when we found that page all the pieces fell together perfectly)
My best friend broke me and my boyfriend up when we were young. She started dating him and his best friend. Somehow after all this she convinced everyone I was a slut and horrible friend. It screwed me up for years. Anyways, she Eventually she married someone else. For 5-6 years she had an emotional affair on her husband with that guy. Everyday her husband left for work she'd call, text, message her ex.
Her husband still doesn't know, or doesn't care. He is actually friends with another one of her exes. It's twisted.
I cut her off this year after 25 years. I'm so glad you shared your experience it makes me feel not crazy
They are a den of SNAKES! ✝🕎😡🫶😅😅
One should dump your other half, who could not protect the relationship trust.... Not the third party directly responsible
Hangs on to exes and idolises them,
despite the betrayals that apparently took place.
Yes!
If you feel you’re being triangulated in an inappropriate way, you are. That feeling is enough. You can listen to yourself, your intuition. Your feelings can matter *to you* even if they don’t to the narc. You don’t need a narc’s permission to have them or validation. The more you try to get that, the more of your power and responsibility for your feelings you give them, but you can take those back. You can just agree to prioritize your relationship with yourself, instead of managing a relationship with them. Because that’s all it is: a pain management system develops in you to accept treatment like this, only it’s an illusion. It seems like it’s helping but really is keeping you stuck, like an addiction, long-term. It’s a band aid over a wound that requires surgery.
Last statement made my day! 🙌🤣🤣🤣💓💓💞
It’s not always the X doing this horrific behavior, but other relatives determined to ruin everything you have. Watch out for these “ relationships “ narcs have with your kids.
True and very frustrating. Most of us grew up believing our family would watch out for, encourage and love our children. Then as time goes by some of us come to the hard realization many years later. Narcissists will go after your grown children to take you down. That’s not love. They don’t love your children is they are willing to weaponize them against you. Passive aggressive Narcissists are the worst because it’s hard to explain/prove how evil they are. Being willing to weaponize nieces, nephews, cousins, spouses of cousins etc in an effort to take you down is Evil. Often they will put forth all this negativity and malicious intent simply because you possess the qualities they don’t. Such as kindness. Truthfulness. An ability to admit to mistakes. That’s not who they are and they will resent others who are. They don’t want honest feedback; they want praise and agreement to whatever their narrative is.
Especially ADVOCACY you didn’t ask for. That can get tricky, because sometimes a NEEDY PERSON will use you or someone else, then later JOIN back with abusers long since gone or removed from the scenario!⚠️I saw that happen to somebody. Be the healthy helper only to have the original victim stuck up for, turn coat, and look for support elsewhere just to keep grifting. How that looks is, “Help me, I dont trust my family/spouse. Then later.... now the person makes up with the family/spouse/friends, and you’ve said and done too much. Advocate where people ask you to when you want to. Not just automatically, that’s my thing. Because you might be just gonna bring somebody groceries, or give them a ride, and now the jealous narcissist sees that. Which makes it TOXIC.
My narcissistic mother is a master at triangulation. She manipulates my father and siblings and lies and tells them that I said and did things I never did and said. I have lost my whole family because of her.
Yes, it is horrible. I had the same experience in my family. At last I walked away forever and found peace.
Yes the narcissist lies and then keeps each other from figuring by blocking communication very scary sometimes
They will NEVER assume responsibility for their crazy making, so triangulation is a way of making others clean up their mess.
More for less……….exactly.
Quick side story: I was called in multiple times to testify in my sociopath ex-business partner's divorce. At a traverse (garnishment) hearing I was so fed up that finally I said: "I am an outside third party. The two parties and the lawyers are trying to triangulate me into their divorce. It is NOT my problem or my responsibility." You know what? The judge sided with me !!!!!!!!
FANTASTIC! Justice served!! 👍⚖🕊✝🕎
When my sister finally figured bout my mom was a Narcissist she stopped talking to her and now we have an excellent relationship. Once the triangulation was gone our relationship became repaired.
This gives me hope! ✝🕎⚖ But I have no contact…
This explanation brought much clarity to a situation I recently found myself in... Thank you!
Constantly on the phone or texting work colleagues, talking about both work & personal issues.
We could be in a cafe having lunch & he stays on the phone for too long.
SO DISRESPECTFUL. THE devil IS A LIE. YOU'RE WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT HEATHEN. LEAVE AND GO NO CONTACT AND START LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE
My 11 year old daughter was taken after brain surgery and is being used as a tool. But I'm working out now. Putting my Life back together. I'm becoming the world class athlete I am inside once again. Trevor
5 triangulation tactics: (summary in parentheses is in my own words/ understanding)
1. Playing people off against each other (creating a feeling of being not enough/ fear of losing the narc/ approval/ opportunities etc., so you give more/ chase the narc)
2. Idealize and devalue switch (going back and forth between supply sources)
3. Inappropriate relationships (similar to emotional cheating)
4. Allies, real or imagined (ambiguous “other people” agreeing with the narc)
5. Using children against you
Solution: detachment and inner healing ❤️🩹 working on your own insecurities and creating healthy relationships
🤍 thank you
In terms of point #4, my narc wife liked using that "everybody says" thing when it came to some of my actions which to my mind were quite rational but problematic for her. But when I asked her to name some of the people that shared her opinion, there was a deafening silence!
Hahaaaa. KARMA is a bitch! 🤣🤣@@davidhinkson8856
My ex "boyfriend" triangulated me with his dead wife, who had only been dead for 3 months when he started dating me. I had no idea about grief and he told me he just wanted someone to go have dinner with, "to get out of the house." I had no clue. Well, he love bombed me straightaway, "we're twin flames, I feel like I've known you from another life, our connection is so amazing, I feel guilty for loving you so much so quickly after Penny's death", blah blah blah all this was said in the first couple of WEEKS....then the comparisons started. And the horrible triangulation. You can't stand up for yourself against a woman who passed away. Live and learn. I knew about narcissism as I had been in a long marriage to a cerebral narc, but this one was very different. This one caused me to stop and take notice of why I'm attracting these fools. Now I know, and I love myself too much to suffer another one. Once I got smart, and couldn't be manipulated, he was on to another one who is being manipulated as we speak. I tried to tell her, b/c what kind of woman would I be if I didn't. Of course she didn't want to hear it, but that's ok. Of course she made me the villian, and that's ok too. I'm fine being the villian in that story - but to go through that horror and NOT warn the next woman would be unconscionable, and I'm not that. God is leveling me up, and I had to go through that, but Lord it was hard.
Super demonic. My mother did this to me with my younger sister who is a narc, and her fourth husband. She’d make things up because he always thought I was really nice and if he stood up for me, or anyone else for that matter, she would throw these wild tantrums. I’m an empath so I never stood up for myself and always took the abuse. She and my sister both have done this my entire life. Now I’m older, I stay the heck away from both my sister and mother. I live a very happy life and am happily married in a healthy relationship.
Thank you for validating my gut about inappropriate relationships
This happened to me in my last relationship. I was being triangulated with their ex but I didn't get it until after I was discarded. I realize because I didn't up the anti because even though it felt weird and disconcerting, I didn't think I had anything to worry about because like a good ball I didn't think I had any reason to think this person was lying to me or manipulating me. Now I know, it's Stoopid. It hurt, it sucked and it's something I would not have done. It's such a weird screwed up disorder. I was told the old person they broke up with was this horrible awful person who never treated them right and it was a kitty party. Than after I was discarded I imagine I was than the person that treated them wrong I never abused this person, I was inexperienced and didn't know what was going on, it's so messed up.
Absolutely tremendous, Thank you so much for this Melanie, You're absolutely beautiful, Peace, love to you and everyone, Thank you universe ⚘️🥰😍😁💎💫👽🐺💙🐉✨️🛸♾️🤗😀👁🐴🌌😊🧝♀️🧿🧿💜💜🦄😁💞
I LOVE you Ninja girl. Love to you and everyone else! ✝🕎🫶🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷💪✌🎆🎊
The problem in a work situation is if you alert people to the the fact that a coworker or boss is like this, others either won't believe you, tell you your paranoid or talking "psycho babble", or they may be receptive to your views and even agree but not say it and quietly ignore it in hopes that THEY aren't targeted someday or in retaliation for being on your side. We have entirely too many cowards in the world from what I've noticed who are not part of the solution - so to me, they are part of the problem and no help so no better than the disordered instigating narcissistic person.
I was in a situation like this in a graduate school program and became so miserable, I had to leave. I won't go into specifics but even universities which used to be a safe haven for free expression, debate, and forward thought are turning into a back-biting, toxic culture no better than climbing a corporate ladder in the business world or the manipulative snake pit of politics. For now, I've put finishing my masters on hold as it's just too anxiety producing... and that's sad. Also, I've had jobs with people like this looking back but I wasn't involved directly and/or not there long enough to care.
Behavior I think of as childish and unprofessional is now apparently accepted and once you've been directly involved or targeted, you start to see it everywhere. Sure it's good on one hand to be aware, but sad if it stalls your career or turns you into an anxious paranoid mess - which it can absolutely do 😔
I totally understand you. Once you see it , there is no unseeing it .
Constantly taking about a work colleague.
Then moves on to another & does the same.
Complaining about them & then befriending them.
Yup! 👍👍💓💞💞💞
Mine is using the children as pawns, financial and emotional abuse.
Yes, no real regard for the children. I am experiencing that now. It's a minefield.
My sister does the one where she, accidentally/on purpose, "lets slip" that other family members say the same (negative) thing about me that she happens to be trying to guilt me for. She won't pull this "trick" out of her bag unless she feels her current insult or guilt trip isn't working on it's own...but when it's clearl to her that it's NOT working, THAT is when she pulls this tactic out.
Initially, I was only wise to her bogus insults and guilt tripping, but WASN'T yet wise to this "double whammy" one. But then started to notice THIS pattern...and began to question IT's validity as well...and realized....NO ONE else in the family really feels the way she wants me to THINK they feel about me...(unless she has temporarily convinced THEM that I'm a threat to THEM...which occasionally happens but it's usually short lived).
I know her typical pattern because I've been one of those "others" when she's speaking negatively about someone else. We all just listen, and may "appear" to agree by not challenging her...because we all know what will follow if we do. THIS is extremely likely what she is "selling as" total "agreement" from "everyone else" in the family....Whether I'm the target or whether she's gathering ammunition for future manipulations of these others. It's so pathetic. It used to be torture, but now that I see very clearly what these games are really about, I just do what I can to make it clear to her that I'm not biting...mostly by "gray rocking", and not getting de-railed by my own emotional responses. This clearly scared the hell out of her when I started doing this, because the tricks that had worked so well and for so long are now completely useless to her. She almost seems panicked to me at times. It's hard to witness ANYONE be so panicked like that...and easy to forget all of the pain she's caused when see it. I'll usually just change the subject, to lighten the burden a little, and move on.
I know that I’m being triangulated with two other people. The other two have seen different sides of what’s going on. I know EXACTLY what’s happening, and, I know what the narc is attempting to do in this whole mess. It’s annoying, but I’m doing my best to keep to my own boundaries; I’ve stood up against the narc and I felt empowered. They know I’m on to them and I’ve experienced the manipulative tactics right in front of me as to how they are attempting to justify their behaviour! It’s disgusting!
I had a friend who engaged in triangulation tactics, which at the time I didn’t realize what she was doing. Now I realize that because of her deep insecurities , she would place our mutual friend on a pedestal and proclaim that she was her best and closest friend. This was her proclamation during every phone conversation. After learning about the insidious tactics of triangulation, I now see it for what it was - a means to make me feel insecure about our friendship; to jockey for a number one position in her life in order to fill her insatiable need for narcissistic supply. Wow…..
I am new to NARP. I have only done like four healings, but it is crazy how I already hear your videos differently. Its like going through the looking glass. Things are much clearer.
Well done Mel oh so True - seen this a lot ❤
Tried controlling method on me, I woke up and her tactics didn't work anymore.
Then she used the children (parental alienation) which goes hand and hand with the narcissist . Haven't seen the kids since July 19 2021. I had one but with disregard to our justice / law eventually worm tongued that child against me..
It's a sad and destructive disorder 😞
I always said … “it’s like you want to control the narrative and all the stories are different” and he’d try to keep each of us from talking to each other……. And he’d say “don’t talk about me” to all of us if we did speak to each other.
Yup!
You are reading the script of my life. I was successful detaching from certain family members, but...”he” hooked me right back in😞, despite me being in your program. I’ll go do a shift🙏🏻
This was so helpful to hear this week thank you
You are terrific. On point all the time. Sad that these people ruin Lives. In my Case My Son who I treated wonderfully, was my best friend. Now wants nothing to do with me. He pulled away and lived with his mother for a decade. She was able to list him on TROs etc. Poor kid his Mom moved away and he has no Father either. And he’s is on The Spectrum.
Awwwww GOD says revenge is MINE! The best thing ever!! 🙌💪✝🕎
The narc did almost all of these triangulations. With people we know, with strangers out in public -probably flashing a big smile when I wasn't looking to get their attention. She would make a point to bring my attention to how some guy was following her around the supermarket... which happened OFTEN. She triangulated me with celebrities changing the background image on her mobile phone/tablet from a family photo or a photo of the two of us with some hot Hollywood hunk. 10 years ago I knew something wasn't right but I didn't understand what. Thanks for the information!
Hi, you just described my ex partner. This reassured me I did the right thing. I was called too sensitive. Glad I left
Thank you thriver Mel
Created a wedge & resentment with his exes, sons & work colleagues.
Yeah i know family members that love these techniques then they kinda get upset when they can’t use me to attack someone else when I started realizing what I was doing to them… so if someone allows themselves to be triangulated it’s the same as the person doing the triangulating and people have the RIGHT to manipulate energy how they see fit. But it has its effects… experienced so much of these types of things… they don’t understand the levels of understanding I have of what they don’t yet understand about me… I’m never the one frustrated in the end because I realize they’ve given you all the power. The more they talk the more they invest in you. The brain attaches itself to whatever it focuses on. They are constantly focused on you so you have a million minds paying attention to you every little move… if you really understand that they’re all in a form of love with you and you don’t even know them. When you really learn what these people are giving you… their giving you their souls. Do what you want with that.
narcissism is similiar in families and among partners , i am dealing with such people
Join the club. 😅🫶
I had an issue with his exes on Facebook, sharing memories, photos & loving comments etc.
He triangulated me with his work colleagues.
Oh I asked ladies at work and they think you are insecure bla bla
Just been through this too. Concerning he is a social worker and quite happy using manipulative tactics good riddance to him. I hope you are getting over it and moving forward
I cannot remember how many times my narc coworker has triangulated me with other coworkers. Even after got exposed, she is still doing it until now. Her target is still the same: me.
You are deemed being her biggest threat!
@@marciloni12right when they triangulate your competition they entire mission is to come around you and mutual people and cause division a lot of insecure women do it my cousin did it to me so I know that game now
My mom triangulated me with my siblings my whole life. I'm the youngest of 4, the two oldest were grown and moved out when I was small. My other sister closer in age lived with us through my teenage years. My mom(and dad) lied to me, manipulated, devalued, dismissed and gaslighted me constantly, and then told my siblings her version of the story in which I'm crazy and she didn't even do anything to me. They never listened and the sister that I grew up with often times joined in on the "fun". She sure loved to F with me..
A little over a year ago, it was my birthday.. everyone was over. There was one of the most devestating episodes of this, and I decided to give up. I went mostly no contact with my siblings for like 6 months. I stopped responding to my mom's comments that always triggered me(still living with them, have struggled to get my own place) I went within and began to heal. I truly detached emotionally from it all. Then the holidays rolled around and I think my siblings began to notice that maybe I'm not crazy, and started to see what I had been talking about all these years. Because they all had plans to go out to a Christmas thing, and my mom didn't tell me anything about it until about 30 min before they were going to leave. I have 3 kids, and so that wasn't enough time to get ready. And her excuse(per usual) was that there wasn't enough room in her car for all of us, just for my oldest(they favor him, and I also have my own car, so this never makes any sense). My sister showed up and I mentioned casually how I just found out, and she was like, "Wait, you didn't know?" And my mom made some random excuse, and I just walked out. They all have their own group text, that I'm not included in in which my parents often lie to them about me(I've read one of my dad's long texts as he was typing it once) and I think she probably told them that I just wasn't wanting or able to go, and they thought I knew. She has done this MANY times. They have began to be a lot different with me since then. And I have re entered the family dynamic, only this time much stronger, more self-assured, non-reactive and able to just be myself, with more firm/calm boundaries. I think they noticed how I had changed and wasn't fighting anymore, and just my energy was different.. but she was still saying stuff to them. If you can learn to seperate yourself, the truth will start to come out.
Ignoring the Red Flags, and not Admitting these things Exist is truly not reality,You can't fix a Cheater, a Psychopath, or A Narcissist, it's as simple as you can't take Blood from Stone. My husband started getting frequent night calls, when I asked him just waved off those calls as unimportant. At some point i could take no more of his lies, I decided l deserve to know what was going on. Someone on here referred me to this Tech genius who helped cloned his phone without physically touching it. All I did was send his phone number to him and through a remote link sent to my email, I was able to access all of his texts, emails, Facebook and Instagram chats, real-time call listening and her long deleted messages as if the phone was physically with me. He is a narc, a cheater and a terrible liar, I’m glad i found out all his secrets. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help you can get in touch with him
instagram.com/jeanson_james_hack__?
Excellent important helpful! thank you
my narc father and narc sister ganged up on me..I was dads carer. They also involved family, friends, doctors police etc. Two against one. Now my father has passed, and my narc sister is spreading rumours and involving lawyers etc..i can't keep up, she gave me a heart attack literally.
You are wonderful Melanie, thank you
So many inappropriate relationships! This last narc is now 'buddies' woth his narc female therapist!
Wowww
Excellent video ! Thank you.
As you mention the inappropriate relationships, i can't help but think of that between my narc wife and her mother who was extremely toxic. That woman could never do any wrong in her eyes, and she was always there to stir up trouble between my wife and I, during which my wife would always take her side over mine. On more than one occasion I had to ask her who she was really married to, and whether, as a so-called devout Christian, she had never read the part in the Bible that spoke about 'leaving and cleaving" when it came to the parental relationship after marriage. Her brother also got involved in the triangulation process, in that he would tell me one story and then say something completely different to my wife, which would then stir up an argument between us.
A hybrid narcissists has been triangulating me with a classic narc since childhood. It's one of the most horrendous and off-putting things. Somehow it's a way to tap into your energy using negativity. 🙂
@@CasualPower9 It's a life drainer for sure, no contact is a must because dealing with more than one narc is never good. What's tricky with a hybrid narc is they can appear very normal at all times. I didn't know he was tapping into my energy for a long time, until my energy got really low. The only positive is it helped me to try harder to release myself not only form the hybrid but from other narcs as well. 🙂
@@CasualPower9 Yep they switch it on and off when you're turn comes around it's on full. In the case of the hybrid his whole life is setup for energy draining. They only time he'll go out of his way is if he knows he can suck the life out of you. 😳
@@CasualPower9 I believe your right the danger is them not knowing their evil. They resonate along side those that every one knows as evil. The most bizarre behavior from the hybrid, was his behavior after a satanic ritual was performed on me. He didn't know anything about it yet laid claim stating it's some sort of victory. Somehow he was tapping into the energy of the event even though he had no involvement in it. It's quite sicking first and foremost their energy vampires with no care or concern of your well-being. 😦
@@CasualPower9 It wasn't easy it took several healing methods to heal from. During the time anytime I tried to heal from it the one's involved would chase me with a knife. Somehow they can tell what you're doing, at the time I was more focused on staying alive. It happened more years ago, though I'm sure it's still happening today. 🙂
@@CasualPower9 It's terrible though these things happened year's ago it can be difficult to heal from. Got through all that and you think glad that's over except then there's narcissists. I thought if can survive all that narc's would be a breeze how wrong I was.
LOL 🙂
Inappropriate relationships - my ex, whenever we would have an argument, would pull her 11-year-old son (my step-son) into bed with her and kiss him on the lips for up to an hour. When I remarked that what she was doing was inappropriate, she countered, "Just because you never had any love from your parents, doesn't mean that is the how it is in other families." She eventually abandoned me and our biological child to join a cult and have an intimate relationship with another woman. I'm very glad she is gone.
Wowwwwww😮😮😮😮😮
You should have reported her sexual abuse
@@brendarewan7441 I did report her SA. Her first husband reported it twice. One of her kids reported it. Cops did nothing because a woman was the accused. Just look at how female teachers who SA are not held accountable.
They are inhumane and impossible to deal with , then it's your fault ..crazy making 😢
Im still here, been gettin deathrolled by all these damn salties..needed to remember this.
It's so evil
They only answer to their father of LIES! ✝🕎👍👍
Thank you!
My mom did this to me against my dad...😢
Helpful💚
My cruel mother in law has triangulated me for the past 16 years by bragging to me about my husbands ex-girlfriend. Always boasting about how "drop-dead gorgeous" she was and how much she liked her. She brought photos of this woman over to MY house one time and showed them to our dinner guests. Again, bragging about how beautiful she was. My husband just sat there like a chump.
Don’t invite her over anymore and tell her she’s acting inappropriate. I doubt the ex is drop dead gorgeous. MIL is just trying to stir the pot.
@@MC-rw2bk Thanks for this. The ex girlfriend was a heroin addict and a mud wrestler at the Tropicana in Hollywood, back in the day. This is the trash that I was negatively compared to. Yes, I am well aware that my nasty MIL was using her as a "triagulation tool" to level me down. It was so transparent that she was trying to "stir the pot" as you have said. She is now banned from our house and we have not visited in almost four years. She shot herself in the foot.
i experience all these, my mothr does not feel good when i am with my daughtr she thinks she has more right and domination , and feels envious of everything
Mine did that in front of the kids, when we first started living together and before we got married. We we're sitting around the supper table. She said that her ex used to tell stories at the supper. I said "well, how did that work out for you?"She did not react well. I wish I knew then what I know now, and I would've left
I wish I had watched this before i got into a relationship with her... I spent months telling my ex I didn't want to be in a relationship with her and her "friend" now I know it was abuse
He puts them ahead of me all the time. It's creepy. They go out together to brunch and leave me home when I'm supposedly engaged. She doesn't invite me either or stand up and say that's wrong..I'm sure he didn't tell her he future faked me and left me at my parents with a diamond and pretends he never said that. Over there he plays husband father house in general. At the drop of a dime. I think they both have NPD. Pretty girl like his daughter shouldn't be alone at 38 years old. Completely selfish people.
WOW 😮
Triangulation can come through animals as well. Anything or anyone who comes first can make you insecure.
The narc has never done that. I wouldn't react if he did. I don't care what others think. If they're dumb enough to believe him then they weren't a friend to begin with. He has no friends and my friends don't talk to him or associate with him. They know what he is. So do I. I don't listen to anything he says. He's tried it all even with our son. I just laugh to myself because it's so ridiculously untrue. I don't need the approval of him or others. I'm absolutely good enough just like I am. You have to learn to depend on yourself and give yourself what you need and stop looking outside of yourself for approval and love. You are the one you've been waiting for. It's always been you whose love you wanted. You have to be all those things to yourself. He talks about people and I laugh. What a piece of work and how low you have to be to use others to temporarily feel superior. It's not a relationship. It has never been a relationship. That was delusion. They can't have relationships. They just take people hostage if you allow them to. He doesn't talk to anyone ever. He's too paranoid they'll find out who he is like I did. He doesn't bother. I have told him to please go find someone else. He'd be doing me a favor. I haven't had sex with him or slept in the same room with him for 20 years. My 32 yr old son doesn't talk to him anymore. Or me. I refused to allow my son and his wife to manipulate me and they voluntarily ended all contact. Problem solved. I did have a boss do that but they only got like 3 people to believe them. Everyone who knows me knows I don't steal. I don't care what those 3 people think. They're dumb asses is they believe that narc woman who owns that business. I walked out when she tried putting me down and manipulating me. I just walked out and never looked back. It's their loss not mine. I don't need any job bad enough to sell my soul and compromise my values for money from those people. I had cut my mom off too several years before she died, for disrespecting me and putting me down. She was a narc. When I started the inner work I no longer needed her approval. I'm the one who's supposed to love and accept me and as long as I do that, I don't need others' approval. That's working for me quite well. If you don't NEED anything from others then they cannot manipulate you. You can be friends and not be emotionally dependent on others. I have to physically depend on others at times because I'm in a wheelchair. But that's maybe 1% of the time. And if they cannot help, the universe always sends me someone or I figure out a way to do it myself. The narc did me a favor by being lazy. I found out I don't need him for 99% of the tasks I do. I learned how to mow the yard with a push mower in my wheelchair. And it isn't self propelled. I weed eat, I fix things. I just can't do ladders. Yet. Working on that at the gym. Weight training. Maybe one day. I'm 56 and I can do whatever I set my mind to. I may do it differently but I find a way. I'm not a victim. I am strong and independent and proud of all i have accomplished despite the "limitations". The only cants right now...ladders and shovels.
Lovely good for you 😊
Thank You
My x triangulated me with a coworker (male) when I left him for good. He manipulated this coworker to show him my FB friends list. He randomly chose a guy and started saying that’s why I broke up with him because I was cheating with this random guy on FB. Such a manipulative tactic to deflect responsibility for the true repast for me leaving him. He wants to smear my name at work cause he has a bad reputation already. So he wants to drag me down with him
my mothr makes me feel jealous on purpose though i am good to her ,she speaks highly about her daughters in law ,my younger sister and brothr
Could you please define or speak more about emotional infidelity? Thanks so much
It seems that this works with an adult child and their partner to divide and conquer the adult child from their parents.
I feel like I’m being triangulated by my bf with one of his FB friends.
He says he doesn’t like her or talk to her but yet she knows personal details.
He recently started smearing me as being a narc on his posts and she started loving those posts commenting with excited avatars of her.
I asked him to unfriend her, explaining that I felt uncomfortable and triangulated…. He threw a temper tantrum and blocked me.
I guess she and the supply he gets from her is more important than me 😢
You are the important one! Summon up the courage and walk away. You can do this. You deserve so much more.
4:40 💯
Just leave the narcissist , just walk away tell them that without u they won't finished theyre story
Thx
i do not want to play games with narc , and do not like to b unreal like them
Tell me how these people aren't just weak.if they don't want you why would you want them. Or chase after them. Why not just move on.
Thought he was speaking with another woman, it was his brother. He still hid it in a weird way.
Narcissists doing triangulation should get triangulated and entangled by God in all sorts of activities and situations in which the narcissists engage in or found themselves in on a daily basis by which the narcissistis"s mind get exhausted rapidly and eventually collapse resulting from those unpleasant tormenting situations arising from unwanted confrontations with people and stuff and get entangled and unabale to move on being strucked by misfortunes and get stucked in whatever whatsoever and whenever they try to do anything to feed their narcissistic mind thereby the empaths are given justice by God for all the sufferings the empaths had to suffer and bear from the triangulation that was caused by the narcissists.
My daughters narc brings over too her home “ the friend too show her shes crazy that theyre just friends- He is dancer/ singer so this friend he claimed is a “ Pole Dancer” stripper in her spare time. Also the two women locked theirself in bathroom and compared notes- He told the “ friend that my daughter had moved to LA
She had not-
He told her that the friend came to his apartment and had fit about their relationship- he had to throw her out- they werent talking-
He invited this girl to festival when my daughter in hospital having surgery-
He was having sex with both women for 6 months
He got her to rent apartment down street from him tht was too expensive promising too move in and split cost- he never did leaving daughter struggling and locked into year lease in apartmet she couldnt afford. He further has a dump and started entertaining his friends in her beautiful apartment- has never given her a dime and on her birthday finally took her out to nice dinner only to charge her for her half when they got into a fight he caused- He regularly rages and cusses her out using the most foul language - and started telling her she doesnt know how too dress right-
Why is it anyone's bussiness a stranger or family or a topic being discussed about a person or person X Y or Z that you will never be with again. I think that is a good reason why women like me sit in our peace about being single and loving ourselves. We are like trees with our own branches and leaves that deserve to with ourselves unapologetically wheather Narcs or flying monkeys got so toxic manliptive crap to say about it. Using children to try to pull a relationship back together is wrong. I remember when people sent me through so much crap they would make meme talking about I had resting bitch face when I seen children strangers children and children who yheir parents has would not involved the innocent of children to attack a person behind a ending of a relationship. Corruption the mimd of children to act brutal towards the person who leaves a toxic relationship involving all these people. We don't teach children to abuse, mental, emotionally or verbally because a relationship is ending. We go to go get help so we won't raise children to become as cold as whoever might be the man or woman just because something is ending in a relationship. To guard the ears of children and deal and end stuff like mature adults do is healthy not use children to become toxic.
I made friends with his other supply before it reached the cheating stage & together we both dumped him so no more supply from anyone 😉
Sounds like a sick movie script!
Doesn’t it?
My boyfriend has a "friend" who had sex in the past is a go to... Goes to his parents house and maintain contact with ex sexual partners and tells me and shows me the nudes that they send, I'm not jealous or paranoid witch he tells me I am but something feels of and a feel insignificant, confuse and insicure
I think people who respect triangulators are probably delusional or in denial or triangulators themselves. There's just no way they are respectable people and that's abuse so they certainly don't have much respect for you which isn't something that you can change. Some people only respect criminals and punish those who are not. Nothing you'll say will ever change that. I don't even go there anymore. When someone suspects me in the least I label them as shallow and a waste of time. And they do waste your time to please some criminal who abuses them as being lied to is manipulation and manipulation is psychological abuse. Misery always loves company. I still feel bad for caring about it, but they bring it upon themselves merely based on appearances. Depth is necessary in life. There's always going to be an excuse for the female psychopath and triangulators have a long list known by heart. If only they had a long list for you, but that's never the case. The triangulator is the reason why the female psychopath is capable of offending, but no, you can never do anything right and are the problem. They on the other hand are misunderstood because paychopaths are innocent until proven guilty 😂but you are guilty until proven innocent and they know you so well based on just your looks. Shallow is useless in life. 😂
I can’t help believe that triangulation and avoidant personality and failure to make eye contact are all related. The narcissist will use triangulation over and over because they have a limited number of gameplays. Because they lack empathy they lack the ability to deal with novel problems creatively. Once you learn their games it’s like a preschool teacher dealing with five year olds. Once you’ve dealt with one five year old you’ve dealt with all five year olds.
My boyfriend got caught cheating on me i got a text from her on his cell # that he my guy was IN HER BED AT THIS MOMENT sleeping with her we were on a 5 day break she proceeded to text me she uses him for sex when she feels like it......well it was sad hurtful and shocking up till this moment I thought he loved me is this triangulation or just evil?
He’s using his kid. It’s so gross.
He started that LEFT after that
Good. 😂 Freedom is what defined humanity.
With my ex husband, he would be bluffing about a third person entirely, his confidence was really impressive. Often what he described was totally fake, he was just pulling names he thought would sway me. He was very upset that he couldn't control the way i saw him; the more he tried, the more convinced i was that he was dysfunctional. He could not see how he was digging his own hole deeper and deeper. They assume you won't check with others. Do it. Every time, benefit of the doubt in the moment is fine to stay safe, but make sure you check when you get the time, and document it in all the ways you can.
Eventually my ex husband tried to tell me my family said xyz; I immediately saw what he was doing. I am protective of my family and that he even had their names in his mouth sent off blaring alarms in my mind.
The ironic part was his confirmation bias, if he did talk to a third person, he could have easily warped his understanding of their words and behaviors to confirm his narrative, just as he did with me. So why would i pay attention to anything he had to say about what another party had to say?? He wasnt with reality, denying things right in his face. He stopped visiting our son when he realized it wouldn't give him access to harrassing me.
But are all triangulators narcissists?
Is this triangulation...? When all was well, the narc would use our photo or a photo of me as the background image on her phone. When I needed to be brought down a peg, she would change the image to a celebrity.. it could be a musician or actor, etc. She was limerent and would also post images of her fantasy men to social media for all our friends and family to see. She might post 5 or more photos of a particular actor on the same day. Minimally, I perceived this odd behavior as emotional infidelity. I never mentioned it to her because I knew she'd never meet these famous people and she'd just accuse me of being insecure or jealous. But what it did was create a deep distrust of her. She talked about marriage all the time. But who would marry a person who posted images of other men to social media? Not me! The abusive tactics continued to escalate over the years and I eventually asked her to leave. Been no contact for 544 days as of today.
Yes I experienced this on a high level. Pitting me against other woman/ people.
It was very demoralising.
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This was a huge part of me growing up with a renactment of my childhood.
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I've been working 💪 with NARP vigorously every night 🌙 and realize it all played ▶️ out in my adult life with cruelty with friends etc.
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Alot of past life clearing at the moment.
Thanks Mel.
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