What People Don't Get About Motivation.
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- Опубликовано: 15 июл 2021
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#motivation #discipline #psychology
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Pre-order Dr. K's Guide, it drops in August! bit.ly/3hLjFmq hope you're as hyped as we are :)
YESS!!!! thank you so much for the effort put in!
As another clinical psychologist, you're wrong, motivation is a feeling, not a thought.
@@Someb0dy1Day hi as another clinical psychologist can you tell me how dr k is viewed by others in your field It would be of great value to me
Motivation is an internal thing! Yes!
This is why I love the logic of those old school new thought gurus so much. They were very internal focused. Christian D Larson argued this in his book on Concentration and his other book the Great Within. A lot of these books are in the public domain and youtubers make audio books of them... which is really cool.
What focusing techniques would you recommend? (:
"Motivation is the ability to hold a thought for an extended period of time." Brilliant. That explains a lot of my struggle. I lose track of everything constantly.
I often do as well. Even when I have what I consider to be insightful of interesting thoughts, I end up putting them out of mind and forgetting about them. It’s especially frustrating when I want to remember them later but I can’t.
@@DropIt56 Try journaling those thoughts when you can!
Yo, this is such an interesting idea. After observing myself and my failed attempts to do the right thing, I most often notice that when I remember that I should do something for the better, it's like the wrong decision over the course of a few minutes wins the spotlight and consumes my thoughts. The right decision is quite easily pushed aside; thus, I don't really remember soon enough what I should be doing.
Interestingly, though, while I think and know what is the right action, it's still so interesting why the temptation or resistance often wins over... I don't really believe in myself anymore that I can become disciplined; although, I'm really looking for solutions, however, after thousands of attempts even in the same actions (diet, physical activity, sleep schedule) and it failing, it feels like I don't know how to become disciplined and what to do about it.
I literally forget what I was thinking after 5 seconds. It sucks to have undiagnosed ADD.
This can explain why writing goals on the wall or on a Whiteboard to look at all the time is effective
"It gets easier. Every day it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day - that’s the hard part. But it does get easier."
I love this quote. Have it on my wall at my desk. funny horseman changed my life
@@unkaleidoscoped8194 the show is just built different.
And then when you finally get the motivation it’ll be just in time for societal collapse due to climate change.
@@full-timepog6844 NODDERS
@@itfunes don’t think to much about it. Work towards your Maslow needs. Live simple and free because civilization is going to collapse in 20-30years anyways.
Finally someone who speaks some sense into the "just do it" epidemic.
a lot of ppl use it to try and shame themselves (and others), but with what he said about motivation being the ability to keep a thought in your head... honestly I find "JUST DO IT" to be a good mantra, not to shame or make myself feel bad or even 100 always get me up to do something. a reminder of what i want to achieve, who i want to be, condensed into a few short key phrases. another one is just the word "change" lol, and not only accepting change will always happen but that i do have agency over some things, even if its so much less than ideal.
sorry for going off on one ive just been on a self-improvement journey for a few years now, and while im far from having strong af habits (bc gods they take so long to form) i like to think about all this stuff a lot
@@damien678 That thought should have a certain depth and meaning to you. You need to remember why are you doing it, why is it worth it. "Just do it" doesn't work for me at all.
Yep, thats the problem with the concept of discipline. When you are in a position of lacking discipline, you think that you need to build it up, but its an empty goal, because discipline itself does not exist. You are disciplined in doing SOMETHING. And so the undisciplined person, instead of doing something and starting to be "disciplined" in that area, chase for discipline in general. Sometimes even thinking that "discipline means doing what I dont want to do"... which is close, but also terribly wrong. Its rather "doing exactly what you want to do, even when sacrifices are involved". It seems similar, but is basically the opposite. And once people chase this "dont want to do" kind of discipline, they get stuck, because they fail and now they dont even know what they want anymore. Because everything they dont want can be interpreted as "I lack discipline to do that". :/
Case in point would be an young entrepreneur, that is really disciplined in his business and as a result, want to hire an assistant to do the more meanial tasks. But their father/mother/partner would tell them, that they are just undisciplined, if they cant handle their meanial tasks by themselves... And its basically true? But also clearly nonsensical. That is why the concept of discipline itself is not useful to think about per se.
Just do it is a good mantra if you exclude all your bitching honestly
@@imanafdar "Just Do It" is unhelpful because it focuses on the outside behavior and ignores the internal thought and motivation that produces it - you'd be wrong to argue that Discipline is "just" the behavior.
What it leads to, as Dr K says at 29:10, is inevitably failing, then blaming yourself which kills your motivation even more. It's "trying to fly without getting wings first".
I have ADHD and this quite literally fixed my imposter syndrome. I can't stop thinking about the task I can't seem to start. I'm always motivated, my body just won't act on the motivation no matter how long it's there until some urgency gives me the adrenaline and dopamine rush to allow me over the hill
I'm in the same boat and I end up procrastinating. Have you made any progress?
@@kennydoan7997 a little bit. I find that as long as I'm not completely exhausted, I can break down any task into it's core steps. As long as I know I'm allowing myself to stop at any point and all I have to do is the next step, I can usually do it. Like when I'm in the kitchen and I think "do the dishes" I'll think, "okay just wash one fork/spoon. You don't have to dry it, you don't have to put it away. Just wash it." If that's too much I say "just turn on the water, that's all." After that steps done, I think of the next step and say "alright, now just pick up the sponge" etc. Fixating only on the current and easiest task and giving myself an out if I'm out of juice allows me to at least start the task and I usually get most of the way through it before I run into any issues. You're basically taking manual control over your body and circumventing the dopamine motivation gap entirely. You're not doing a task like "take out the trash" you're minimizing it to the smallest possible steps that you can do manually. If you can lift your arm up to eye level right now just because I said so, you can do anything, you just have to come up with a Paradigm where your brain will consider your current action as easy as lifting your arm without worrying about the next step until the current one is done. It's exhausting, but it's better than the maddening frustration of sitting there pressing the "dishes" button and nothing happens.
@@gabeisawesome879 Thank you so much for this. This is the EXACT problem.
Executive Function Disorder
>imposter syndrome
>thinking about the task
📮
The thumbnails are starting to get through to me. I'm beginning to think the guy in the video is a psychiatrist...
He should apply to Harvard or some shit
I thought he was a cult leader
The thumbnails are making your mind hold one thought : "He is a psychiatrist". That means they are subliminally making you more motivated.
Could've sworn he was a dentist
Wait... no way!
The moment he mentioned how self-discipline it's not a thing, I felt free.
Same
You just have to do something habitually enough to turn it into a habit.
I think self regulation is a better word than self discipline. Although they sound similar they are different in concept.
Self discipline is the restrictions of xyz.
Self regulation is..acknowledging you want x but choosing to do y becasue it is better for you but if you happen to do x..you can forgive yourself
same here
It is a thing, it's on the damn wiki and there's nothing wrong with that.
"Self-discipline is about creating new habits of thought, action, and speech toward improving oneself and reaching institutional goals."
It literally means self improvement, which is tied with motivation. Because if you motivate yourself to go to the gym, then you'll end up creating a good habit, which is self-disciplined.
This is the one thing that guy got wrong.
Personal notes:
15:24 Practicing keeping a thought steady in your mind improves motivation
22:12 Desires bump the thought you're trying to hold
23:49 Anxiety is great at bumping thoughts 💜
28:25 Discipline is not something you can create, it's an emergent property from other things
Ty 🤍
You're very welcome, I hope it was of use to you too ^^
It was lol
@@ersika6004 thanks
@@ersika6004 what are those other things?
this is why im motivated in case it helps someone:
I want to get out of here, so I have spent the majority of everyday studying for the past 2 years. I tell myself every day that I have to do this because it is more responsibility to help myself be happy. I have all my reasons written down and I look at them everyday and I try to break down things I have to do into smaller chunks. When I can't find the will in me to get out of bed, I think hard about the consequences of failing and I tell myself that it doesn't have to be that way and that I am worth the choice to work hard. Sometimes, I can only get a little bit done, but I have learned to forgive myself for not overachieving because being mad is just gonna keep me from my goals. It's gotten a lot easier past the first year, but it's probably never going to be effortless.
sounds like you're doing great! long term goals and self compassion are the best ways to achieve your passions!
This sounds good and answers the question "Are mantras useful?".
"I am worth the choice to work hard."
fr, this line has been so motivating to me, especially since deep down i stopped caring
Thank you, stanger. Your post has made my day (night, technically🙂)
@@anarchist_frog8712 Glad to hear that, I hope you have an awesome week 🙂
Thank you for this
Sounds like the key to motivation is like "positive selective ignorance", just focusing on the action and not any of the fail states. Which can be good! I'll have to practice this.
This this this and this! Yes, this is exactly what I was thinking but couldn’t put into words! Just do it! Overtime, you will never regret doing it, because you’ll see results.
I was developing a concept opposite to this i call "information poisoning" (too much information leading to anxiety)
one luxury we lost from not having internet is not knowing about all the stuff that can cause us anxiety, which reduces anxiety and increases productivity (which ironically produces positive outcomes and not necessitating anxiety in the first place)
ignorance is not just bliss
ignorance is also a strategy
@@therearenoshortcuts9868 yeah like trying to get it clear why you should be motivated in your head so that you’ll finally do it.. tell me if I’ve hit the nail in the head, because that’s what I did! Honestly believing in the positive outcome and doing it is the best thing I tried as for now
It always amazes me how most of the anxiety is caused by the “dance around the anxiety” and that means trying to do everything (eg. overthinking) to avoid actually DOING THE DAMN THING and accepting the anxiety. The more you avoid, the more gasoline you put in the fire.
So basically ignore all thoughts that dont involve the task at hand?
@@env0x yeah just accept anxiety and start doing progress on the thing
"GOD FUCKING DAMN IT HE DOES IT AGAIN!" I scream as he finally puts into words the things I have been thinking about. Thought bumping.
People who study psych are good at articulating preconceived intuitions about the way we perceive the world
"Motivation is the ability to hold a thought in your mind for a long time"
So this is why Vergil is so obsessed with power. He's MOTIVATED
I can see you're a man of culture as well
Virgil is the kind of person that would be as cool if not cooler than Dante if he just didn't have brother issues.
who is Virgil?
@@MnMEminem Virgil balls
You said virgil and immediately thought of sanders sides
I think another reason why people act motivated, but don't feel motivated is that they're executing a good habit. Habits are incredibly powerful. They automate a behavior such that you _don't_ have to hold it in your mind constantly to be able to execute it.
Absolutely. Manipulating your brain's use of habits - and especially forming good habits to help overrule bad habits - is extremely handy.
Have you ever thought that people don't do well with habits but they still get things done? Habit formation is not for everyone
As someone with severe adhd. I can form habits but I absolutely can’t choose what they are or how long they’ll last. It’s one of my biggest downfalls in life
or is the habit just your centered thought that you choose. and you hold on to that thought for the extended amount of time that the task is completed. and when thinking that centred thought at that time nothing around you , no desire, no distraction , no phone can stop the power of your mind from moving your centred focus of that thought at that present moment
This is why some productivity experts talk about setting up systems. You can condition yourself to perform certain habits or behaviors.
The concept of focusing on actions rather than goals is so interesting to me because it contrasts questions I commonly hear along the lines of "Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?"
Adjust the question in your mind to be "what do you see yourself find in 5-10 years". You can then focus on actions for the purpose of goal setting.
I want to vs. I'm going to.
“Celebrating the 5th year anniversary of you asking me this question!”- Mitch Hedberg
I sometimes ask myself if what I am doing is helping my goals and if it's not, if it is a good idea to do the thing I'm about to do. Am I taking a break because I've worked on it today or am I just not helping myself?
Imo 5-10y vision is REALLY important but only so far as you make it tangible with small, easily accomplishable daily/weekly action.
David Goggins said "motivation is shit, you have to become obsessed!". Which is similar to what Dr. K is saying! "If you want something. Then keep thinking about it!"
Yeah, obsesed with the right thing. 😫👍💫
To be honest in order to achieve what you want you would have to become obsessed with it constantly thinking of it and at times not play by the rules abuse loopholes in the rules otherwise people are going to take advantage of you
What he actually does is differentiate being motivated (a temporary state of infatuation) with being driven (getting after a goal regardless of emotional state or mood). Proves a lot of what Dr. K is talking about here
He also says discipline is VERY much a thing, and that you have to do things - even though they suck.
BOAT CREW NUMBER TWO! HOOYAH!
It occurred to me that any benefits of "the law of attraction", the idea of if you focus on something it will become true, might simply be tapping into what Dr. K is saying. Those people might simply be giving themselves motivation to pursue on their goals by accident, as a result of constantly thinking about it.
hmm very interesting take.
I've been noticing this parallel between the law of attraction and behavioural psychology as well. It's actually pretty smart because the concept of the law of attraction is itself a singular idea that people can continuously focus on, like it's motivating people to motivate themselves.
This is exactly why monotasking has been a great deal of help to my motivational problems. The world is so full of distractions, attacking your mind from all sides, craving attention and giving a sense of false urgency. You find yourself trying to juggle so many things, often failing to keep up, thus falling into anxiety and depression. The day I decided to eliminate those distractions and focus on just one thing at a time (therefore keeping a thought still) was the day I finally felt control returning in my life.
Dr. K droppin bangers everytime he says, "I know it sounds weird but.."
Don’t feel like doing anything anymore. It’s all just a chore. Even so, these videos always help
same same but we can do it :) things may be boring but at the end of the day i wouldn't trade my problems for anyone elses' plus a million bucks. love this bleak life and am blessed to have it lol
Then live a life worth living
@@ren.8137 thank you for the anime wisdom
Then don't do, I have the luxury of not doing anything right now, I didn't back in middle school, and I started to do things that I like, and staying in it. Find what you need, and then have it, no need to think of the future. I needed all the inner peace and rest from all the part time work and family bullshit, and then I continue with what I like that makes me happy and fun (it could be new hobbies or old ones, I recently started streaming).
@@cnash5647 Some people have to make money to live
What he says about ADHD is so true. Every day my mind jumps to at least 30 different things, at minimum. It makes it very hard to do anything that's important to me.
Most of the time I can't even decide what's important.
Everything can seem important sometimes
Since I decided to start hitting the gym almost every day back in December, the perspective that really helps is, "I get to go to the gym (and prove to myself that I can lift)."
I get to, instead of, I have to.
Our expectations (about the future) really have a powerful grip on us and can destroy motivation in no time
I relate to this soo much! Looking towards the future can be motivating for a period of time. But over time, looking towards the future distracts me from the present and make me fear failure.
@@JurgaBurgaFlintines that’s exactly what I’m going through rn
The moment he said how anxiety pushes aside the thought of doing something, I tried my hardest to push away my anxious driven voice/thoughts...and felt so relaxed and did a little bit sth I was procrastinsting for days...I'm gonna give it a try for a week, and see what happens...maybe it might work
@@Umi_luv Me too ..
@@streamepiphany9932 even tho that comment was a month ago I’m still struggling my friend 🥲
What I've learned about motivation is that nothing is as powerful as a strong why. Why does it matter to you, why do you want these results, why is failure not an option. That why is so powerful. I study a third language daily because my Why fuels me to wake up pumped to pick up the books and study.
That’s an epic tip king thanks definitely using that now
No wonder I'm so unmotivated, I have no "why" for doing anything
"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how." - Friedrich Nietzsche
The why is still a construct of the mind. What really gets you going is when you enjoy doing it. It's not being wise in the future that motivates me. I love learning new things.. that's why I do it.
He talked about Dharma ultimately leading to the action being held on the mind.
That makes perfect sense, especially related to ADHD. With meds I can actually hold on to a thought for 5 minutes as opposed to 30 seconds. Without meds I used to be motivated to study by either intense shame or panic only. Now I can just plan it and actually do it, though it's still like coaching a toddler :D Today I jumped between writing my thesis, this video and a movie...But actually got a whole paragraph written, plus a graph, with no deadline at all!
Goddddd I can’t wait to get medicated. Shame or panic ADHD guy here.
@@duncanbug Wishing you luck! Hopefully you get it soon :)
Also, expect that you will be able to do things you never could without meds, but they wont necessarily come as easily as to other people. Just remember that if you are doing mostly well and drop the ball on one thing, the worst you can do is to beat yourself over that or think that the meds are useless.
Medication is like having a bucket with a hole in it, but it's so much better than no bucket at all.
I wonder what that feels like.... I recently told my therapist that my internal motivation has pretty much been mess my entire life. And now I'm faced with the fact that I can't do anything anymore. Not because I'm anxious, but because I don't feel anxious anymore. Like even when faced with deadlines and consequences I still can't muster up enough anxiety to do anything. It's affecting my work and I hate it so much. I miss the anxiety and shame. At least I could get things done in a more timely fashion.
@@birdiewolf3497 i can relate. now even the approaching deadline makes me feel almost nothing.
I think we also have this idea that motivated people always enjoy what they're doing and that they get up and are happy and love it all. And so when we don't feel like that, we guilt ourselves and think we're just not motivated people.
And that's often not necessarily the case. Ask anyone who is successful if they enjoy what they do all the time. They often don't. It's the ability to do things despite how you feel about them. So confidence in yourself and an ability to tolerate discomfort plays a big role too.
It feels good to see Dr K talking about the "Just do it" thing.
I've been drawing for a couple of years, but right now I am struggling to find motivation and inspiration for my drawings, and the one "advice" I keep hearing every time is "Just draw".
I mean for some instances, it worked, but it only worked for a couple of hours and then I stop drawing for another week or so. So at that point I don't know if it's because I keep comparing myself to other artists which keeps putting myself down the ladder or anything else, but I am stuck in this kind of loop :
Wants to draw
Tries to draw good shit with my tablet
Fail and start feeling miserable about myself
Hears "Just do it 4head"
Come back to the drawing even though I know what the outcome is gonna be
Still can't draw what I want to draw
Launch Steam to escape from the realisation that I failed and boom, day ruined and I end up procrastinating because I'm sucked up by a video game
And this video specifically really gets this all off my chest, it feels good to hear a professional talking about it, thank you Dr K.
And to anyone who reads this, I wish you to find motivation and keep it as long as you can with you for whatever you want to do.
I struggle with the same thing my friend! Good luck with your art! Remember to keep it on your mind!
Don’t try and draw something good. Draw something crap and be ok with it. Dr k talks about this more in-depth in his video with dr Mike. I’m sure someone has timestamped the bit you want.
Here's a thought on the same princ. what Dr. K said.
"If you hear a voice within you that says you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced." - Vincent Van Gogh
Just focus on the act itself.
I use to draw a lot and my motivation was seeing what was in my mind created on a piece of paper. I desired to create this image. That’s the love of drawing in essence never lose your first love. Don’t worry about the outcome or comparisons.
I find that most of the time I follow books I 'found' online. And practice. Anxiety is a huge motivation killer for me, and so if what I am doing is defined as practice.....
Over time it has been lowering my anxiety, a large part of that is just learning wtf I am doing.
10:50, I want to add that this used to be the case where this worked for me. The closer to the deadline i felt more and more stress untill I actually studied. However once i missed the deadline, i just didn't do it. Then nothing happened, no punishment. I 'got away' with it. Then I didn't feel the stress anymore for any other coursework etc. Now I need to retake all exams. Next year im probably going to sign a contract with university that if I miss a single lecture or coursework then I get kicked out. Only way to get myself motivated...
I don't know about you, but is there any chance that you're studying something you're not really interested in doing? I was studying something just to make my mom happy and I stopped having any motivation to do my work. It's not even that I hated the subject, I just wasn't motivated to do it by anything else than "please others" which is a great way to make you miserable.
@@jogold867 I love the subject that I am studying but I hate the way I am being taught and the system that I am put in. Yes, I would say about 40% is to make my parents happy, 40% because I don't want to have the past years at university wasted and other 20% because I don't need to work and have a lot of free time.
@@curiousmind7967 There's noticeably no percent of "I want to do this" or "this will help me achieve my goals / dreams." Maybe you should think about what you really want for your future. Maybe you need a break, maybe you need a change, maybe you need something else entirely. Hope it goes well for you.
My same experience to a T. And it stinks because in my case its for something that I very much enjoy.
A year had passed. How did it go?
I revisit this video ever few months. I eventually took notes from it and figured I may as well share. May you hold your thoughts.
Motivation is the ability to hold a thought for an extended period of time.
When you are free from desire, you will become motivated.
Seeking discipline dominates what should be your central thought.
Discipline is an external observation, emergent of other components.
Discipline is "trying to fly without getting wings first".
Create the components of flight and then flight will emerge.
Be mindful of your thoughts and motivation will be inevitable.
Thanks for the notes! I was trying to take notes too and your addition helped :)
This makes so much sense! I am a 28 years old woman who has constantly been trying to lose the same 15 pounds for 8 years now. I am not obese, just a little overweight and unfit but I have this ideal body that I never seem to reach. The only time that I ever managed to successfully lose weight in MY ENTIRE LIFE was 10 years ago in the summer of 2012. What did I do? I found a cardio video on RUclips and I did it EVERY SINGLE DAY for 2 months. That's it! No complicate diet, no complicated workout program, no obsessing over my looks. I just had this one though that I HAVE to do that workout video everyday. I would do it,it would feel great, I'd take a shower and move on with my day. I didn't even obsess over diet. The only thing I used to tell myself is not to eat garbage that has way too many calories after working out because of how hard I worked just to burn 200-300 calories, so I would eat fruits and vegetables instead of chips or fast food.
Something similar happened in 2017, but with studying this time. It was my last year of university, I never took it too seriously, I would pass my exams with 8s, 9s and a few 7s and 10s here and there so I had this desire to had a perfect score at least ONCE, which means perfect 10s at all the exams. So what did I do? Did I study more diligently during the year? Not really, because I was busy writing my thesis. I still studied during the finals like always, only that time I through all my anxiety out the window and I just put my head into the books and read and read and read without thinking 'What if I fail..?' I also wrote on a peace of paper 'PERFECT SCORE FOR THIS EXAM' and I would always look at it to remind myself of my goal and I kept on studying. And it worked out!
I've had other accomplishments over the years. I've lost and put on weight multiple times. I passed tests and job interviews, I have a job I'm good at, yet these 2 events remain the most memorable of my life.
Just take semaglutide, and the world is yours.
"Motivation is the ability to hold a thought in your mind for a long time" - Oh no (me with ADHD)
Same bro, at least we know what the problems is now
Yeah, honestly this makes waaay too much sense.
I believe medication can help someone with ADHD hold thoughts longer. I have ADHD as well but I haven't tried meds yet, although after this video I'm eager to try and observe any effects related to this video. :D
@@indulgence42 When I first got meds it just suddenly became easy to do those little things I wanted to do. For example, thinking "I should take a walk" and then getting dressed and leaving the house without the usual fuss.
I did however experience a lot of side effects and got burned out due to not realizing the extra energy the meds gave me just covered up how exhausted I was from uni. Also somehow one medication turned periodic passion for painting into endless obsession and I became hyperfocused on art for 10 days straight. Those were the most productive 10 days of my life and it felt more like 2 months.
It has taken months of rest and habit building to recover and I only take stimulants a few days per month. Turns out my ADD is a lot easier to handle when I'm not studying.
Good luck to you and remember hyper focus is not free energy!
@@corneliapaulsson7211 That last sentence is great advice, thank you.
So you say that if you hyperfocus on something you need plenty of rest inbetween otherwise you'll get burned out and exhausted? Because that's something I struggle with, a lot.
What would your advice be for someone in uni? I don't react well to meds so that's not an option unfortunately.
Also, what do you mean by that your ADD is a lot easier to handle when you're not studying? Thank you.
Wasn't getting it at first, but now I do. I remember when I used to be more constant with the gym I would wake up and even if it was rainy or something my thought was "I have to go to the gym", and I would just go.
Not going to lie. This is probably one of my favorite videos. I used to have all motivation to self study everything i could get my hands on, mainly math. A harsh and traumatic event occured at age 14 and the trauma continued until i was kicked out of my parents house at 18. Ive spent years studying even psychology to help myself and i have gotten extremly far, but i could not for the life of me find how to regain my motivation that i struggled with after the years of PTSD events. I remember math and whatever i wanted to learn was on my mind everyday. What demotivated me from this lesson is reading in articles and my psychiatrist telling me the state before trauma is never attainable.
So i was given false information and no way to figure out how to get motivation. I am 22 and almost done with undergrad in physics, ive been running on discipline myself, but my motivation has been gone.
I must give thanks for this long search of an answer finally being found for myself. 😊
"Discipline is an emergent property" as opposed to a thing in your head, was a very helpful insight for me. Thanks.
Man, I'm about to cry it feels like there is no tricks I'm just going to have to "be strong." I hope the meditation pushups are going to help me pull through.
Good luck man, I believe in you.
I think I can relate to you. I've been failing in JUST DOING IT for many many years, repeating giving in into temptations, that it simply feels as if I may not be able to just simply do those things. Almost every single day I remember stuff that I could do or not do to make my life better; however, quite often I push those ideas behind because of the discomfort, I think. What if I really crave the junk food? I try to make myself believe that I don't need it and that I can simply just not buy it, but there are quite many situations where I end up buying it. I don't know what to do...
not "just" be strong. Be strong.
@@resir9807 What's the difference?
@@Songriquole Consciously focus on one thought. Don't mimic motivation.
Wow, this video is actually so dense. He summarized so much information into a single sentence. Hold the thought in the mind. It's so simple it's insane how I missed something so blatant lol.
HOLD THE DOOR!
Welp, now I fully understand why procrastination is a symptom of ADHD. I love how you explain things, it somehow clicks perfectly with my brain
Literally NEVER have I heard of this put this way. Brilliant!
And I also love how you distinguished between mindfulness and meditation - because I've tried mindfulness and it was awful. I think anxious people really don't want to be alone in their own head.
Anxiety means your own mind without something external is like hell.
but its still important, everybody hates mindfulness at the start, i hated it too, but with time it became very peaceful
This is how I think about RUclips, of course I want to set goals but I think of a thought and get it done no matter what.
So for me, is like, I need to have a video published today. No matter what, and yes, it always get done because of focus.
It’s harder said then done but he explained it perfectly in the video! :)
It's harder said then done 😂 i wish it was that way
@@demp11 possibly the best then vs than correction I've ever seen. Bravo.
Wow 😂
@@demp11 Yep, it's definitely harder when you say it, and then go and do it
When I graduate from university I will need to send Dr. K my first paycheck. He deserves it.
Being the angel that he is, my guy is gonna send it back and with life lessons attached to a note with 500 extra bucks
@@eyeris4050 Thanks to Dr. K I am now saying "when" instead of "if". XD
@@Iudicatio wow damn..
@@Iudicatio Oh wow that's great to hear man, congrats!
As someone in grad school studying behavior analysis, this take on defining motivation is so facinating. I'd love to do some translational research involving elements of this congitive approach to behaviorist principals of motivation, avoidance behavior, and various contingencies
I have never been officially diagnosed with ADHD (long story) but the "why would we give stimulant medication" portion really spoke to me. I don't have an addictive personality, but I can get way more work done if I'm on a depressant like alcohol. For example I sat down 2 days ago, had 2 drinks and knocked out all my calc work for the week in 3 hours. Where normally it can take me an hour just to get through 2 to 3 problems. Long story short, I think this guy may know what he is talking about.
i love how excited and passionate Dr K gets about explaining this stuff
My struggle with motivation stems from adhd. If you give me a task I like I will do it for hours but if you tell me to do something I’m not passionate about you might as well ask me to pull my teeth out with pliers....
ngl i love that comparison
Yep you need to tell me to stop or Ill go perfectionist mode about everything and tell you Im not done and its trash job if I dont finish.
But if I dont enjoy it Ill find literally any excuse like Ill forget to get a cup of water and sit down and think "well fuck I just cant do anything now".
Do I have ADHD? I think this isn't just something people with ADHD have problems with.
This meditation tech. helps with ADHD too, so start doing it.
@@youlooklikeagoodjoeyoulooklone yeah idk why people with adhd always seem to claim it as something exclusive to them, it might be intensified for them but obviously nobody wants to do shit they don't want to lol
"[...]people who are motivated tend to focus on the action not the goal." pure gold!
It occurs to me, that I think I can identify the origin of my lack of motivation in my life now. I have a lot of anxiety and am constantly thinking. As a kid, when I was anxious about something, I would consciously avoid thinking about it as a coping mechanism, because it would feel just so horrible in a truly physical way, ruminating on these thoughts. For perspective, I'm talking about things like, "I feel like I did bad on that test," "My parents are fighting, what if they get a divorce?" "So-and-so said something mean to me." "I did this hurtful thing I feel really bad about now, why did I do that?" "I feel really embarrassed by this dumb thing I did." Very normal things, not anything traumatic, they were just so amplified by my anxiety that to cope I purposefully pushed my mind to think about other things, and to find ways to distract myself. I would think up stories, or do things I enjoyed like reading or playing games or drawing. Over time, I just got so good at redirecting my thoughts, that now it's like I can't focus on important things. It's so easy for my mind to find something else to focus on and so difficult to focus on things I feel I should, especially if I have any anxiety associated with it. People I admire who get a lot of stuff done, they aren't wracked by anxiety when it comes to the things they decide to do, worrying if it won't turn out how they want it to, or what could go wrong, or how much they aren't going to enjoy it. They don't have debilitating emotions about these things somehow. I envy them that so much. If fear is the mind killer, anxiety is the motivation killer.
big heckin same
The content you put out for free blows my mind. I've gotten so much out of this channel
Makes me wanna buy his bundle even if just to support the cause.
I really enjoy the positive vibe that Dr. K gives off in general, always makes me feel better about being honest to myself and doing the right thing
A helpful strategy I've found for dealing with ADHD thoughts is to keep a document next to you during focused work time, and write down all of the impulses you get, and how you'll address them later. Once you externalize them, there's a lower chance they come back, and if they still do, you can do some 5 whys analysis on whatever's bothering you. Actively externalizing what distracts you and makes you feel bad, with the explicit goal to address then in a productive manner later, have helped me TREMENDOUSLY in the past two months
This reminds me of something I heard a while ago, that people who focus on their long term goal are less likely to succeed because they start thinking everything will be as they imagine. If you focus on rich people you're more likely to spend money like a rich person, money you probably don't have therefore perpetuating your situation.
But people who focus on short term goals, or who break their long term goals into many smaller shorter goals and focus on those actions are more likely to succeed. This video perfectly explains why, because you're focusing on the smaller goal and what you do *now* rather than how you want things to be.
For me, i think my lack of outwardly visible motivation comes from my motivation to be better and to impress. I think that i actively avoid and fear even things that would help me grow as a person because o have a deeply lodged fear of failure, and would rather not do anything than risk experiencing it again
Welcome to the perfectionist club, friend. I'd rather not do something at all instead of doing it unperfectly and it's kinda life ruining
I'm just a layperson (and fellow perfectionist), so take all my words with a grain of salt. I wonder if there's a way of practicing being an unperfectionist by taking small steps at a time. For example, take something you feel like you're good/decent at (video games, exercising, drawing, writing, etc) and purposely make/do something hilariously bad or ugly. You're not failing, you're purposely making/doing something terrible. Once you're used to doing that, then come up with a next step that works for you incorporating/simulating failure. I get the feeling that like all things in life, getting used to failure is a muscle you need to exercise accordingly. But I could be wrong... I just hope this helps anyone here...
Look into Self Determination Theory if you have time. Part of it is that extrinsic rewards (like people being impressed with you) can actually lower your intrinsic motivation.
You can't fathom how much these videos have helped me get rid of my anxiety remnants of my past burnout and have just had my first week of work behind me with little to no relapses to previous thought patterns. Love you and the fact that this quality of mental help is actually free on youtube.
"Motivation is the ability to hold a thought for an extended period of time." So true. I don't struggle with motivation much as i already have found myself a way to stay motivated or driven. If i wanna feel more motivated to work out or code more, i often watch youtube videos about fitness and health or vids about technologies being used, portfolio showcases or anything web dev related to keep that "thought" in my mind
Wanted to say thank you Dr. K, i genuinely have been changing my life since I came across your channel. I gave up on therapists and getting help until I found you. I am so happy I am alive and your videos are here for the public for free.
Hey, I'm an aspiring clinical psychologist, and anytime I need the motivation to work I just look at the difference you guys make on this channel and tell myself that is exactly what I need to do with my life :) Love this channel!
Someone didn't watch the video
@@boblong6036 LOL
Thank you. This video really opened my eyes to a big problem I've had for a long time. I've sat in my room playing games or surfing the internet for the past several years, I think mostly due to depression, but that's mostly died down over the last year, I think. "I suck" is a thought that really likes to run rampant through my mind, and I think understanding that _that_ was my focus, or "motivation"... it really explains a lot.
I will try meditation to focus on a task I should do, and I already have a mental visual of how to do that. So, again, from the bottom of my heart...
*Thank you*
We are so grateful for this Doctor, dont stop what you are doing man, dropping free knowledge and educating twitch plebs :)
thank you so much for doing this!
22:36 Dr. K: "Desires bump your thoughts, motivation comes from keeping your goal from being bumped, so having no desires is the best way to be motivated"
Me: *tim and eric mind blown gif* everything makes sense now holy moly
Devote yourself to the task, not the goal.
This is probably the most articulate thing I've listened to in a long time that takes many small lessons I've digested but don't necessarily connect. Very well done.
As a person with ADD that has struggled with this all my life I found this really helpful
I have OCD, mainly under control. This has given my old brain circuits a good reason to work on myself, and that's extremely satisfying. Thanks Dr K!
This video actually came slightly later than I needed, lol, but you hit the nail on the head my dude. As soon as I stopped thinking about being thin and just foccused on eating well and exercising I begun to see results.
This is the most revelatory video I’ve ever watched on the internet. The way he can distill it so simply and not pull any punches (while being caring) is so impactful.
This was one of the most potent lessons I’ve learned from your stream. Thank you so much ☺️
You're a huge gift to this world, Doc!
This is exactly what I needed to know! Thank you so much!
I needed to find this video! Thank you so much
this actually opened my eyes. dont chase dreams. just do an your dream wil come true
This channel is such a blessing
Thank you for the piece of knowledge 🙏🏽
Absolutely love this, so clear and well-described in a way that is logically sound while not too difficult to comprehend. Love you Dr K!
Dr. K is slowly transforming me with all of these insanely life changing ideas, and honestly, I don't mind it all :)
dude u r saafing my life. i cant thank u enough
This is pure gold right here! Thank you.
This is an excellent description of motivation vs self-discipline and how sensory desires and anxiety (my major block) distract from motivation. * standing ovation *
I really appreciate emphasizing the internal aspect of motivation and how it's not what many would assume, but I also feel one shouldn't forget the powerful influence behavior has on our internal states/thoughts/beliefs as well. Thoughts --> behavior, but also behavior --> thought. Someone who wakes up everyday to go to the gym will start thinking of it naturally also because it is a behavioral routine.
That is definitely true.
Someone may develop goals or a mindset to go the gym and constantly repeat it to the point it becomes normal behaviour. This is where people alter their minds first to change their behaviour.
However, there are definitely people out there that, despite not developing the mindset first, will go the gym regularly first which then alters their state of mind. This is an example of someone who altered their behaviour first to change their mindset.
It's pretty interesting to see the how different peoples' minds work. The human brain is very complex
This is one of the most insightful and valuable videos I've ever watched. Thank you, Dr. K!
This channel is the best thing that has happened to me in my life. I'm so grateful to you for doing this and putting so much effort into your videos!!!
This is really life changing video. Thankyou Dr. K..
-Some dude: "How do I get self-discipline to achieve long-term goals?"
-Dr. Omni K "That's the neat thing, you don't"
"Discipline is not a real thing! THINK CHAT! THINK!"
Huh... Thank you for explaining what anxiety means and how to deal with it. I haven't realized but I've been pushing away a lot of things in my life because of that "what if".
I'm going to try set tiny goals that I believe they'll help me to achieve my ultimate goal. Just like a fetch quest to defeat the ultimate villain :)
That’s a great idea!
This was soooo soooo helpful thank you so much!!! I am so grateful for your existence and that I found you. Your account is like the best thing that happened to me in a long time. sounds kinda sad, but really, thank you so much!
That was super helpful! Thank you so much!
I’m in recovery from drugs and alcohol. I’m getting more motivated lately. What helps is putting my own feelings and emotions aside, especially when it comes to what I WANT to do and instead of what is required for my own well-being. I didn’t realize I let my feelings drive me. I legit am putting down every thought that is unproductive, which I’ve noticed is quite often, telling myself, I don’t care how you feel, DO IIIIT.
K spittin fax boiiis, I've got incredibly bad ADHD and my my medication allows me to at least have one thought at a time haha
Hearing you talk is like hearing my inner conscious counseling on how to improve and educate myself on my own life so thank you. I have a big issue waking up the next day to work even if that day at work wasn’t that bad or even if it went well
I needed this today. I'm in therapy and psychiatry, but once in a while I need a little help in between sessions, and this channel really comes through. Thanks Dr. K.
Executive dysfunction: holding a thought in your head and being extremely motivated to carry out the action, but your body does not DO THE THING
I've started to figure out mantra's that work for me = basically what Dr. K says. By holding a thought in your head or letting it re-enter at first. You can slowly let convictions become stronger(as long as the conviction is authentic). And through meditation you can feel inside yourself what roadblocks occur once you start to act on the belief. Once you realise that roadblocks are so often rooted in old feelings, then you are more able to see those as keeping you away from your authentic self. So you feel the desire to let go of them. And by putting strengthening mantras in your head to replace your negative thoughts you can create a positive reinforcement. This is what has started to really work for me now.
Thank you!!!!!This really opens my eyes
Thank you Dr.K for explaining motivation to us. The way you explain it is so easy to understand and consume that every time I get the point across I smile a lot and feel really happy inside. Thank you.!
How I think of it is I dont *WANT* to workout, I don't *WANT* to do my work, but I have to. I wake up everyday and say I'm going to workout today. why? because its on my agenda. I don't want to? well I have to its on my list of things to do today. Same for everything else I have to do. Stop saying "I can do it later" say "it would be easier if I just did it now, I may be too busy later, but I have a free moment now." and just more I *have to*.
As well, anytime I'm bored with a "fun" activity I say this is a great oportunity to see if there is any work I hadn't thought of that needs to be done.
This, you make it a habit, something you just gonna do unless extraordinary reason.
Around 25:00 he was talking about anxiety being the biggest thing to get in the way of motivation. That. That for me was sooooo helpful. Thank you!
Huge thanks to you, i was struggling with my motivation and feel like this unbelivebly simple(yet complex, love the examples, explanation, you) is just what i needed to know. At least at this moment of my life
I'm a 60-year old woman who doesn't game but I get SO much out of many of your videos. thanks !
this just changed my life thank you Dr K as always (can’t believe this shit is free info 😭)
The compassion in your voice acknowledging that people with ADHD want to study so much and try so hard, I actually had to pause and started to cry. Thank you.
Holding a thought for a prolonged period of time have compounded problems in ADHD. First is losing thoughts, second is not experiencing time the same way as others.
Great stuff. Thanks for the fixed-point meditation tip.