I often feel the same way. I get home and have to do nothing because I've used all my energy (hopefully) enjoying the activity with friends and trying to keep up socially. I just don't have anything left when I get home and I know that I don't have to mask or pretend when I'm home.
I only get that if I have to socialize with a lot of people. *Nothing* drains me faster than small talk. I can deal with large groups with a purpose, and I love a dinner party with a four hour conversation. I can't handle small talk. Even if it's in a fun(ish) setting, it leaves me drained for two days. I'm in my early thirties and only just not can I begin to advocate for myself. It's been tough explaining to my husband, "No, I don't hate your family. I just can't have, 'How are you? Wow that's some weather we've been having!' conversations for more than two hours, and frankly, more than once a month." It's doubly hard because I can talk about fine art, fashion, high end cooking, art house cinema, literature, foreign films, opera, etc. all day, but I totally can't handle, "How is work?" "Oh, work is fine. How is your work?" "It's fine." conversations. It makes me sound like a pretentious asshole, but it's just how my brain is. (And frankly, I don't think it's that much to ask for adults to bring more than work, weather, children, and the same old stories they've told 1,000 times before to the table.)
Being an introvert does not mean that you don't like being around other people. It just means that you spend energy being around other people, and recharge energy by being alone. And, as autistics, we might spend even more energy while being with other people, mostly due to masking. So, even having fun might completely drain you, yes. Just know that some activities might work for others to recharge their energy, while other things will work for you. You gotta figure out what are YOUR recharging activities, by experimenting, and Paul gives some suggestions :) As an example, for me, video games and playing musical instruments recharge my batteries. Then I spend it with socializing. I enjoy socializing (and I need it), but it is draining, anyways.
Proper Autistic burnout is long-term, in fact is it characterised by pervasive, long-term (typically 3+ months) exhaustion, loss of function, and reduced tolerance to stimulus. For some people, burnout can last weeks, months or even years. Serious burnout can also result in a loss of executive function and life skills, which very sadly in some cases can take years to return or they may not return at all if the burnout is severe. I've been in burnout for 15 months now, and I'm still not able to socialise as it's all a bit too much. I'm not depressed :) Just wanted to give a more detailed view on burnout.
came down here to say this. I've been burnt out for years. You can't medicate or meditate your way out of something caused by unmet needs and over doing it if you are forced to keep over doing it. It just gets worse. Burn out recovery can only start if the situation that caused it changes, and even then its long and slow, and its effects reverse even more slowly. Skill loss is no joke, like I've read cases of language or mobility loss. Also, naturally, burnout can cause low mood and cut you off from interests, so they can comingle. God, I wish it were short term...
I had depression for 2 years following a long burnout period, and the thing that got me out of it was working on a farm and with animals for a year, very intense long physical workouts, it was wonderfully hard and refreshing. I am a short weak city girl, I would never have met this opportunity in my normal life, but I seeked it out myself !
Hi @Colorfulvoid I'm glad the farm work and physical workouts helped you move through your depression/burnout. I'm in this state now, and the kind of work you found is what I feel drawn too/ feel instinctually what I need right now. How did you come across your farm and animal jobs and what kind of animals did you work with, if you don't mind me asking? Thanks, Deborah :)
@@clannard1 Hi Deborah sorry I took so long to answer, I didn't get the notifications ! I found my farm because I was seeking out voluntary work (in Europe we have a program for young people up to 30 that allow them to do voluntary work for 12 months or less, no charge, it's called EVS). I didn't want something social, I wanted something close to nature so I sent out my volunteering proposal to several community villages, schools and farms and one agreed. I worked with free-range animals, mainly my dear pigs which lived in a forest most of the good season, but also hens, cows, sheep, and I did various farm work like packaging food, building fences, plucking weeds in the fields, repairing stuff, helping during small events… I hope you got better but if not yet, it will be better I assure you ! Just get enough exercise in natural settings, even just parks and on grass, or do gardening if you can't find farm work to help you out. Gardening is still helping me cope as of today, it's a great help to put your hands in soil and helping life grow !!
Im having my first burnout whilst knowing I'm autistic. You're so spot on with depression draining all want or desire to do things whereas when you're burnt out you'd trade a limb to be able to just push through, engage and get back on track. You sit there wishing you could get back into life but you can't. You just crash. Even though you really really don't want to. With depression it's like everything's there if you want it, but you couldn't give a toss because you have 0 interest in life. You want to waste away and not engage ever again. You don't think about the future or try to. You don't care about anything even special interests.
Wow.. when you were talking about burnout and fantasising about carrying bricks, it really resonated with me. I’m an educated person, with ‘fair’ intelligence but the job that appealed to me most (mainly cos I can zone out doing it) is washing pots in a restaurant. The thought of working in an office makes me so anxious. I honestly think I would slowly die doing it. But the physical-ness (is that even a word?) of washing big heavy pots in a busy kitchen just works for me. And I am doing a masters degree! I just feel happier doing this sort of job. It could be carrying bricks, or gardening, or warehouse work. As long as it’s more physical and less brain power, then yes, I would want it more than office work, or sales, or any job that involves using a phone, which makes me feel sick and have mini panic attacks.
my aspie friends and relatives worked in Royal Mail which I think involves a lot of repetitive work that doesn't require much concentration. They are skilled in other areas but this line of work seems to suit them.
Your comment has really resonated with me as has this video, I am fairly intelligent IQ 125 , I had a successful career in sales and am highly creative, a trained designer... yet I have only realised the reason I have always felt different and suffered burnout & depression is because I have a form of high functioning autism/ Aspergers which has been both a revelation and shock as both my children are definitely on the spectrum and are awaiting tests yet they are 13 years apart ... I feel just like you that I could happily do something that that just to zone out of an overactive mind , I am truly happy when I’m in my own space creating and making things... I wish this was diagnosed when I was young as all I ever heard was ‘ you are capable of so much more’ which made me feel like I wasn’t pushing myself enough... I pushed myself in my career and to be a good parent, it exhausts me and I regularly have chronic fatigue as I am also now a full time university student which completely exhausts me... you have found your happy medium for you which is great, life is about what makes you happy not others ...
Dream big Always - I am exactly the same. I am a single mother of two teenage daughters, I work in my ‘zone out’ job and I am also completing my Masters degree (in art) so I have my very creative side too. I also have worked in management positions as well as a global headhunter for the life science sector for multi billion dollar companies. And have always been told I could do so much more. The total fatigue and burnouts and depression I have experienced throughout my life has been put down to laziness. I’m now in my 40s and have only become aware of what autism is very recently (6months to a year) but the more I read about it the more weight is lifted off my shoulders, because it finally all makes sense. X
Jam Gart thank you for your reply, really appreciate it...I have 21 & 7 year old sons , both raised for the vast majority as a single parent, I too worked for multi National pharma companies with success , wow you have had the same past... it was only 6-9 months ago I realised I was when beginning research for my young son (but had debated getting my elder son tested since he was 4 , I decided it may stigmatise him in life back then... ) how wrong I was... my feeling is like you a weight has lifted off my shoulders , although an excellent communicator I just always felt different , like I saw people , had perceptions & analytic ways most didn’t seem to have. I am also highly empathic, possessing that strong sense of justice I now know is part of autism. Like you I felt like not being Uber successful & getting burnout made me lazy. Yes it is enlightening and a huge relief to know and perhaps we should be more forgiving of ourselves because it all makes sense, you simply can’t help it... I’m finding comfort in knowing there are others like me as none of my friends would understand if I told them xx🌸
Thank you for this. I have reoccurring nightmares of repeating neurotypical high school. I've been severely depressed and burnt out after college. It's been 5 years since I graduated but I can't move that much. Most of my energy goes into making myself food and showering.
Been wondering why I've been so tired all the time, even though I get enough sleep and all that. Then just last week I started incorporating more breaks into my schedule and focusing on more 'mechanical' or physical activities where i can just turn off my brain and focus on the motions. I've been feeling soooo much better. The visual way you presented this made a lot of sense to me. It's clear and easy to understand. Thank you!
You’re saving my life dude 🙌🏼I don’t know where I was if I didn’t find your channel 🙏💙my recent diagnosis is due to a heavy burn out,I’m an adult and I live by myself...really THANK YOU PAUL 🥺🤗
@@SSNUTHIN I had trouble finding somebody to diagnose me as an adult, I ended up going to my gp who did research and sent off referrals, the only thing is you can wait years just for the appointment
@@SSNUTHIN I really hope you have found a place for a diagnosis. If not, embrace autism do autism assessments online. The doctor is autistic herself and she diagnoses adults. It's a Canadian company and the official diagnosis is valid in most countries!
Regular yoga, strength training, cold showers and meeting good friends are my sources of energy. Took me a while to figure out that I have to balance out mental work load with physical work load to stay in "working condition" for as long as possible.
After suffering from depression, burnout, high blood pressure, anxiety, unemployment etc for more than a decade and turning 39 of age recently, I've been finally diagnosed with combined Asperger and ADD today...this is such a relief! I really need to thank you, Paul, because you actually "convinced" me that I could be on the spectrum. For a long time, the "common clichés" about autism like "I don't look like an Aspie", kept me from thinking I could be, until I saw your videos (especially the one where you tell about your childhood) and thought: "Hey, if you're on the spectrum and I can identify so much with your experiences, I should reconsider..". Glad I did.. Kind regards from Germany
I recently found out I’m adhd and probably autistic with pda, or pathological demand avoidance. I just turned 40! I love that I’m not alone anymore with my weirdness 😂
The analogies like mask, wall and batteries are so familiar. I wonder if others keep track on how people drain or charge your batteries, avoiding drainers when you’re low and making an effort for others to whom you owe?
this is so helpful for contextualizing my depression (mis)diagnosis and how big of an impact school actually had on me. i was having perpetual burnout from school and generally existing in a world made to ostracize autistic people while having no idea i was autistic. i was diagnosed w major depression in middle school and put on ssris (they didnt help because that wasnt the issue) and given a talk therapist when what i needed was dbt and .. for school to not be setup against neurodivergent students the way that it is. ive always had a lot of issues with academia but since quarantine and being able to distance myself from school ive been able to see just how much it was draining me without me realizing it - because it was just my normal. being able to work on projects that interest me with almost all of my time has made me able to do other things i usually wasnt able to do that i chalked up to depression, like cleaning the house and cooking food and showering. its really amazing how much its all intertwined
Just want to let you know this video really helped me recently. I went back and watched it a couple weeks ago because I couldn't figure out if it was burnout or depression anymore. I realized I was in fact depressed and went back on my anti-depressants. Feeling better now, and on my way to recovery! Thank you!
In my case, I always get confused between depression, burnout and just autism. Because I somehow always experience all of the symptoms you've mentioned but I also experience short moments of joy often every day and I can, in addition (for example) do things that delight me for a few hours or even half of the day and then feel as tired, empty, pessimistic and short of motivation as before. I've been really trying to figure out where to categorize this behavior but no matter what people explain to me or what I read about the differences of burnout, depression ect., I just can't pin it down.
dude samee. I feel empty and like shit, and then i get super excited and happy, but then just crash and all motivation and purpose is lost again. I also unfortunately have no clue what that's all about, but rn I'm just trying to recharge (using the methods from this video lol) as best as I can, sort out my headspace so i don't feel mega guilty for feeling like shit (which makes things a lot worse), and ig I'll just see how that works out for me :] I don't think this reply is very helpful, but hey! you're not alone! and I wish you the best while you're trying to understand what you're going through and work through it (or potentially around it), and I hope things go well for you :]
My burnout depression went through stages, but it started showing itself in 2012, and I still suffer consequences from it with reduced stamina and impeded memory and concentration ability. I lost a sense of purpose and meaning that I haven't gotten back. I'm still mourning and it feels like I will never be able to live my life in color again. Whatever I need to do to get better is what makes things worse, but i also can't stand living a life not doing anything either, so I challenge myself, but it takes a huge toll on my emotional regulation, and my mood swings have become more and more intense, to the point where I was diagnosed with borderline disorder, and went through therapy for it, and it didn't help.
I hope you are feeling better. I suffered severe depression in my late teens/early 20s and now experiencing it again in my 40s. I play guitar and use music for therapy but I still struggle day to day.
@@MelModica thank you for your message. It turned out to be ME/CFS for me, and I finally improved after a stellate ganglion block, hyperbaric oxygen therapy and LSD-therapy. I still deal with depressive symptoms periodically but i'm no longer so impaired that I am harmed from light activity. I used to get PTSD-like reactions to everything, including my special interests- it truly was hell on earth.
I suspected I had High Functioning Autism (HFA) and was recently diagnosed about a month ago. I can really identify when you speak of burnout. For me, I think my job has caused my burnout. I have done the same thing for almost 13 years but have never been promoted (nor do I want to be) and nor do I want to do what I am doing anymore. I want to do hands on work with computers in cyber-security. Currently I do a lot of office work - taking screenshots of things, interviewing people about their computer and business processes, etc. I love working with computers in my spare time and don't think I have depression because I am always up for learning IT stuff. Think I am about 4-5 months away for beginning to apply for hands on IT jobs (I am currently also going to school), but saying going though the constant burnout of my (current) job is burdensome is an understatement. I am not in the financial condition to just be able to quit my job and find something new (and it's hard to find a job without having one). I am thankful for the job and source of income. Do you (or anyone) have any tips on managing this long term, constant, burnout? Due to the HFA I don't really have any friends and the family just thinks I could make friends if I was just "social". Being alone and the (constant) burnout is very very very difficult. Any tips, particularly in dealing with the work burnout, would be most appreciated!
I have autism...i recently started a channel and with your inspiring videos I bought a Gopro and since then I have been going out and filming and vlogging...i feel as if behind the camera I can filter the world...edit my self and the world around me... I wanted to thank you for giving me the courage and teaching ... It has really made a impact on me...i watched most of your videos and at times I have watched you so much I gain the manners and speech patterns that you have...i mimic you... Just not the accent...i live in Tennessee ... When I do that it takes me a few days to adjust back...lol
I wish you could please tell me how to recharge the battery, fully. I keep only getting partly charged after staying in doors for several days and spending time with my animals. I go back out in the world and try again only to need another week staying at home with my animals. I never feel 100% ready.
It almost certainly depends a lot on the person, but the most recharging experience I had all year was a week long vacation out in nature with plenty of physical outdoor activities (both labour and leisure) and basically always other people telling me what to do. I can't help you get that though as it was just a little thing organised by local communists.
Is there any way to get one of your pets trained in such a way that can come to work with you? This is exactly the kind of thing a helper animal is for.
Very well explained! I am sure that this video will help a lot of people! but one technical advice with current real batteries. Never let them go to 0 and charge to 80, no more, only go to 100 of you really need it sometimes, this will be better for current Li ion batteries. Your comparison is good to the old Ni MH batteries but don't do it on your current smartphone. Sorry, I had to correct this.
Great video! Thank you! I have been trying for years to explain this to my friends: „No, I don‘t need you to come by and cheer me up, I need to be alone. I am not sad, I just need to do nothing for a while. If you leave me alone now, I‘ll be completely fine by tomorrow night.“ Now I‘ll just send them a link to your video. Thanks again!
Thank you so much for this. Back in the 1990's I was a hospital sociol worker doing 'short term' one off work assessing, educating and referring people in a sexual health clinic. Think infection education, contact tracing, pre and post HIV testing using counselling skills, referrals to drug dependancy units, counselling services, psychologists, psychiatrists, housing, benefits advice etc., I loved my job as it was so instant and varied. I never knew who was going to walk into my office and from where in the world (I was working in Hackney East London) and filled my need to help people and use my autistic micro observation skills. I did not know I was doing that at the time! My referral rate was way higher than my colleagues! Also very brief record keeping or report writing and my own office and clinic keys perfect! Every so often I'd get 'depressed' and my doctor would give me a week off work and write 'viral infection' on the sick note and I'd rest and recover and be happy sleeping, pottering, reading mags, playing with my cat, catching up with friends and family and the next week I would be happily back at work. When I was working I had no energy for anything else but work and just came home most nights to recover! I certainly could not sociolise on top of my job. Maybe the cinema or the odd drink. From this brilliant, clear presentation it was obvious it was not 'deppression' but 'burn out'! Thank you for another piece of the 'jigsaw that is my life'! All gems gratefully received even at the age of 63! RUclips algorithms suggested aspergers vids and I'm now being assessed! Enjoy
This year I finally cured my 10 years depression. I was so happy to feel anything, even being able to cry was a miracle. So I used my new energy to do a ton of stuff I just couldn’t do before. It seems that I didn’t manage it well because now I’m burnt out. Honestly I still prefer my current situation because that will to live give me so much joy, but I feel so frustrated to see that my body doesn’t have the same limits as my healed mind. Your video cleared a lot to me, so thanks !
I feel like yoga and meditation can be beneficial for burnout and depression equally. Depending on what practice you use, it can be either relaxing or energizing.
My version of brick carrying was to shift from a job with responsibility that affected the outcome of vulnerable people's lives to working in an open market spelling bright colorful dodads to tourists. There was a lot of physical activity involved , mindless interaction with happy people and no burdening responsibility. Even with long hours and some heavy lifting I was energized at the end of work.
Thanks for confirming that I'm on the brink of a serious burnout! On top of a very heavy workload, I also run a rather active online community and in recent days I've just completely shut down. Not responding to anyone, not talking, not engaginging. It's like my mind just shut down and said 'nope, can't do this anymore''. Which, on hindsight, is most definitely my body's defense mechanism kicking in to prevent even more burnout.
Wow!! Man, that was kind of challenging to hear but it’s so true; sometimes we’re focused so much on how little energy we have and trying to limit wasted energy, but we also need to see if something’s “clogging up” how we normally get energized. Thank you
That is brilliant thank you. That is such a helpful distinction, and somehow (I imagine because it is coming from an Aspie brain [?!] ) this makes so much more sense of depression than I have got anywhere else. I am trying hard to remain off anti-depressants and this information will really help me. Thank you.
I seem to have lost my spark somewhere along the way. I have wondered if its just having shed a lot of ego around creative pursuits I no longer feel the need. Who knows. I think I've been something like depressed since I was a kid. I'm probably just like an engine that's barely ticking over, and not up to any great demands. Thanks for this video. D
lost my spark as well constantly depressed since childhood, and have recently lost most of my mental capacity, drive to do things and energy, my batterys are only charging to 5% it sucks :(
Paul, perhaps not posting this quite this far in advance is best. This video, in particular, is one that I would find very helpful, and it is somewhat frustrating to have to sit and see the content that is prepared but not have access to it. Please feel free to release it at your convenience/scheduled time. I just felt it would be helpful to share my point of view.
thanks for the feedback. I would usually try to release about a week in advance (or slightly less) so that people have time to put it in their diaries and decide to attend live. This one was an exception being so far in advance :)
Oh my goodness! Love your flow charts! I didn’t realize or know about burnouts. I have always lived in burnout for a very long time because I didn’t know, but once I unblocked what was stopping my flow of energy and rebalanced my work load I am now on my way out of feeling burned out!!!! This helped me understand the flow of energy so much more thank you
This was really helpful. Thanks Paul :) I regularly burn out when I overwork (which is very easy to do as I love my job - it's also a passion of mine and I work from home, to make things worse!). I feel emotionally and mentally numb, and even when I try to relax it's too easy to just go and work instead. It makes conversations difficult, because all I think about is work, and it affects relationships. But I see the signs and cut back on hours. My wife is very good at dragging me out to social events to give me perspective!
Thank you. It seems that you keep making videos that are exactly what I'm looking for and can't find anywhere else. I'm currently in a depression due to burnout. I've been in and out of depression my whole life, so it's hard to know what I can do to make it better. Most recently, I quit my job because I knew it was too draining. However, I didn't know how to get that energy back and have been stagnating for several months. I've been in this situation before, which only increases my feelings of discouragement. What if I never get back up again? Why can't I do something productive for more than a few months at a time? Etc etc. It seems every time I'm in these funks, watching a show or playing a video game (consuming any kind of fictional media, really) brings me back up. I really want to find a way to do this regularly, especially because my PTSD is causing me to avoid things I find "emotionally challenging" (for example, fictional media). My question is, how do you find a balance between recharging and expending energy? If we really should charge up 100% before expending it all, how can I do that in a healthy way? I feel like a laptop that has been put on sleep and I can't find the charger, but I really need to use the internet.
Thank you very much for this video. I never got the difference between Burnout and Depression. I struggle with depression for a long time now and never understood why Im tiered all the time and dont want to do anything. I have many ideas what I want to do and I would love to do them but on the same time I dont want to start. I think I should try to start these things even if I dont want to or feel Im too tired too maybe thats energizing me and "increasing" my battery again.
I found this video very useful. I feel like I understood how depression/ burnout work for the very first time.. I have been struggling for so long, I feel more hopeful now after watching your video. Thank you for giving us some practical tips as well! Lots of love
One of the best things I did was order a DUTCH test. You can do it on your own or through a functional medicine doctor. I found out my adrenal hormones were flat lined and I didn’t make enough per 24hrs. And it also showed my neurotransmitter metabolites and my dopamine was actually really good almost high. My mom thought I was depressed and I kept saying no im not its a physical thing. That proved it.
I've read somewhere that one main difference between ASD burnout and depression is the presence of the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not sure, but having given this some thought, I agree (for the most part).
Well - I had a burnout in 2007 and it took me YEARS to recover. And I still have a HISTAMINE INTOLERANCE from that insult. My adrenals are still weak. But at least I DO WANT TO DO THINGS. I just take it slow. Sleep helps to recharge, very healing. Doing NOTHING is great too. If you are histamine intolerant EXERCISE can be exhausting, STRESSFUL even, because it will increase histamine. I think nutrition can do a lot with BOTH. FISH OIL may help, VITAMIN D. But for me it was a WHOLE DIET CHANGE. I was a vegan, so depression was actually due to having lots of deficiencies of the major Vitamins. And animal fats. So after going meat based my depression vanished within the first month. Chronic pain was gone after 3 months. Now working on adrenal recharge.
I get violent headaches with burnout & can lose kilos quickly in days. Depression comes with lethagy which can last for ages. Having resposiblities pushes me to move.
Thank you for your content. I’m struggling and appreciate your non-sterile expression. At 43 I went down hard with anxiety and panic. I can recognize a period of withdrawal, short charge/creative outlet for about 6 months and then back to another flaming burnout, withdrawal, boredom and slow recovery. So much more to all of our stories than we can type in a comment :)
I think I can neither relate to burnout nor depression then. I'm often out of energy and don't want to do anything as a result, just because I know it wouldn't lead to anything if I did, because I'm out of energy. I'm not feeling sad during these periods...well, yes, a little bit, since I can't do anything productive and are pretty much forced to sit it out. I feel like nothing reliably recharges me. Anybody else feeling like this?
Yes, I was feeling just like that (for years), and then just yesterday I was diagnosed with Major depressive disorder and Anxiety disorder... although they will be testing me for other things like ADHD and possibly Autism.
All your videos are great, but this one is REALLY GREAT! Very helpful. Thanks! It should be required viewing for all neuropsychologists. I hope the APA is paying attention to your work because this topic really needs to be covered in DSM6. On a separate note, the sound quality of this video is OK but I can't watch some of your others because it's not as good. I meltdown in less than one second from any type of echo, reverb, static, repeating background noise, two people speaking at once and more. Please consider this when making your videos and keep up the great work.
Thanks Paul. You are very good at communicating this information. I don't lose focus when I watch your videos because you use great analogies. It's extremely helpful Thanks Again :)
6:50 I wouldn't say that fully uncharging the "inner battery" is a good idea, since that is what leads to burnout (as you kind of state in your table yourself). Imagine you've almost completely uncharged and then something unexpected happens, that needs you to do some masking (like a long public transportation ride or an important phone call for example). You might go over your limits and end up burned out. Instead of fully uncharging I'd suggest to keep an eye on your "inner charging bars" (which is my analogy for getting a feeling for your own energy needs) and best recharge before you're "on the last bar". Burnout isn't just an empty inner battery but an empty inner battery beyond measure. It has damaging aspects and can lead to depression (as you said) and negative health impacts (up to suicidal behavior). One needs to "heal" after burning out. Here's a study about autistic burnout that I found to be very interesting: www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/aut.2019.0079
Your channel is amazing. Everything is genuine and has been very helpful understanding myself better. You have also become such a good presenter and content creator over the last year. Cheers!
Well this has been eye opening. Thank you. It sounds like I have been experiencing burnouts like all my life and misinterpreting them as depression. I have experienced depression before, but most of my lows are burnouts.
awesome vid but at least for a neurotypical person there def is a difference between feeling burnt out and having a burn out. it's not just a week of too much it's usually a loong time going over your boundaries. just thought id add that
Just found this video and it was extremely helpful for me right now. Thank you, always helpful stuff and helps make me more self aware of some of the mechanisms I use. Becoming more aware of them allows me to more effectively use them.
Hi! I have now watched all your videos (+ a couple more) in about 2 weeks. Why is there not 100+ more videos of you answering all my questions avalible at this moment? Just kidding ;] I much appreciate all the work and effort that you have put into all of this and looking forward for more informative videos. Best wishes from Sweden "traits of asperger, but not enough for a diagonsis..."@31, soon to be 33
Hey! Appreciated! Can you please upload strategies/coping mechanisms specifically for quarantine? Especially addressing what can help with being in a full house, yet anxiety about being outdoors? I feel this can help a lot of people
Really helpful presentation Paul! I like that you use your Engineering mind to apply principles to your subject for this channel. You remind me of a dear friend of mine from High School that I don't have much contact with anymore, you both have a sharp & clear articulate speech which is very pleasant to listen to. Another excellent video, love your content Paul 👌
I found the battery analogy very helpful, along with the explanations of recharging. I've also had a brain aneurysm, so fatigue is a big issue. Figuring out how to balance my energy has been hit-and-miss for many years, but I've been discovering some patterns, and this video will help me better figure out whether I need to recharge, when to recharge, and whether I need to put more energy in. Thanks!
I may get these 2 right now. No jobs, lots of rejection, feel useless. I felt burnout after job interviews and depressed after getting the result. I am still standing strong thanks to positive rock & metal music \m/, I won't give up, I won't give in
You are amazing. Thank you so much for these. So validating to have all this spelled out. For years doctors saying I have depression and it always bugged me and never felt true.
My first big burnout I quit college 2 incompletes short of my BSME and spent the next 7 years "picking up bricks' in a foundry. That was over 20 years ago. I had my Asperger's revealed to me only three years ago. Three days ago I started seeing a therapist, for my third try. Life was easier not knowing.
One of the most INSPIRING videos of you , ConGrats ! ! Some minor fixes (for me): - E-out is mostly masking strategies. Which drains all the will power. - Burnout occurs not whence the battery is low. Actually as the battery charge out, E-out increases to the point of Meltdown or Mania. And after that stage the recovery phase starts. Bottom line, the graph is not LINEAR. - I liked this idea: if E-in problematic then it is pysch related and chemical. However if E-out is misaligned then it is ASD 😂
I'm pissed, it's been 13 years since I was diagnosed, and during middle school and high school I was in special Ed class for pdd and in therapy. During this entire time no one bothered telling me about the concept of "autistic burnout", today was the first time I heard of the concept and it was on another RUclips video about the ratio between man and women people with autism. would get these long lasting periods of having 0 energy to do anything and didn't know why. I knew I wasn't depressed since I still enjoyed my hobbies and when comparing myself to my clinically depressed sister it really didn't match up. I honestly thought I was just being lazy, I had no idea "masking" has actual long term effects. If I knew about it I wouldn't have forced myself to mask 24/7 for the past decade. At this point I don't even know how to stop doing it, the last time I concisely took a break from masking was in 2017 for a single day since i needed to go through dignosis again.
Okay im thinking burnout is what I've experienced for most of my adult life and not a couple weeks of depression here and there 🤔 the loss of interest for things usually enjoy was always a question i struggled with and didnt really feel was right, but I've never been overly sociable or had "obvious" hobbies so i based it on 'well i used to enjoy going outside but i dont feel like it now, so yes?' But I'd still want to watch my favourite movies and shows and read/learn about something!!
I'm exhausted! Mentally, emotionally and physically. I don't think my battery has been fully charged in years. It might even be damaged to the point that it can't fully charge anymore. I think it cracked and started leaking when I realized that the 'dream job' that I'd wanted since I was in middle school, went to college to get the degree to qualify for, etc. had turned out to not be what I thought it should be anymore. It was a great job at first, but rules, policies, and expectations from the folks in charge started changing after I'd been doing it for a few years. Eventually, I realized that the job had changed so much that not only had it become a job that I no longer enjoyed doing, but I was also finding it harder and harder to do. Partly because it no longer focused on things I was knowledgable and talented at, and partly because it was no longer about something I could morally support. The last straw was when they told me that I had to become a supervisor and couldn't be a specialist anymore. That not only meant no more of the field work that was the most enjoyable part of the job, and which I'd found myself getting to do less and less of already, but also that I'd have to become an authority figure expected to enforce and support the changed rules that I'd come to despise. I've felt like I didn't know what I really wanted to do anymore ever since. I've tried other jobs, but have not felt that they were a good fit, or that they were rewarding. The closest I've come to one that was both turned out to be a volunteer only job that got in the way of other things in my life that were supposed to be more important, especially when my grandma's health got worse and she started needing help at home, rides to doctors, someone to check on her etc. Many if the places that I've gotten jobs with went out of business, or moved out of town not long after I'd started there. I barely have the energy to work a full day anyway. I'm trying working from home, but it seems like those gigs are short-lived, dont pay much, or wind up being frauds that never do pay me for my work. My family helps me out, but I hate relying on them and don't want to be a burden. They say I'm not because I'm doing things for Grandma that she can't do anymore and that the rest of the family hasn't got time to do. I love my grandma and want to help her, but this isn't the life I'd had in mind. I hate myself for feeling this way, but deep down I know its true.
Thank you for this. Going to work causes me burnout pretty much everyday. On top of that I have misophonia and demand avoidance, so often it feels like my battery is at the 5% level. Maybe I need to find a different job, even though I'm very proficient at what I do, I like the routine, and in general I know what is expected of me.
I have AS and my social life pretty much peaked during HS. I was skating through life up until age 18 when I tried to get a job and wasn't able to. Then I began to burnout and lose my motivational drive. Now I'm 24 and in college but I don't even know if it'll be worth it. I'm even more worried with how things are going the way they are.
Epic video. I love this analogy it works really well for my brain. Energising activities for depression, (mentally) restful activities when burnt out. Anyone got any tips on how to deal with simultaneous burnout and depression?
Motorcycle riding is energising for me, but I can’t fully charge. I currently feel like I need months off work and spend that time self-indulgently in my interests.
I was bullied while I was going through a bad time. I wont eat drink and cant sleep properly. I'm normally an athlete and love music now I don't have energy . If ed no strength. I'm diagnosed anorexic and the mean individual set off the eating issues. Sitting in the dark.
Is it possible to recharge through work? Say, after a burnout, by switching from an energy-draining job to one that still demands regular energy expenditure, but without the trap of low-battery labour? I may have answered my own question, there, but looking forward to anyone's input!
I find my emotional energy is always the first thing to go. Nearly everything makes me angry. I want to be left alone. I use masking to excess,🙃, then I snap. Usually at the expense of my job or even friends. Is there anything persific that would help me with this pattern.
Whenever I go out and do something fun I nearly always feel awful and sad when I get home, which I think must be burnout
me too. i get home super cranky.
I often feel the same way. I get home and have to do nothing because I've used all my energy (hopefully) enjoying the activity with friends and trying to keep up socially. I just don't have anything left when I get home and I know that I don't have to mask or pretend when I'm home.
But do u guys enjoy your time
I only get that if I have to socialize with a lot of people. *Nothing* drains me faster than small talk. I can deal with large groups with a purpose, and I love a dinner party with a four hour conversation. I can't handle small talk. Even if it's in a fun(ish) setting, it leaves me drained for two days.
I'm in my early thirties and only just not can I begin to advocate for myself. It's been tough explaining to my husband, "No, I don't hate your family. I just can't have, 'How are you? Wow that's some weather we've been having!' conversations for more than two hours, and frankly, more than once a month."
It's doubly hard because I can talk about fine art, fashion, high end cooking, art house cinema, literature, foreign films, opera, etc. all day, but I totally can't handle, "How is work?" "Oh, work is fine. How is your work?" "It's fine." conversations. It makes me sound like a pretentious asshole, but it's just how my brain is. (And frankly, I don't think it's that much to ask for adults to bring more than work, weather, children, and the same old stories they've told 1,000 times before to the table.)
Being an introvert does not mean that you don't like being around other people. It just means that you spend energy being around other people, and recharge energy by being alone. And, as autistics, we might spend even more energy while being with other people, mostly due to masking. So, even having fun might completely drain you, yes.
Just know that some activities might work for others to recharge their energy, while other things will work for you. You gotta figure out what are YOUR recharging activities, by experimenting, and Paul gives some suggestions :)
As an example, for me, video games and playing musical instruments recharge my batteries. Then I spend it with socializing. I enjoy socializing (and I need it), but it is draining, anyways.
Proper Autistic burnout is long-term, in fact is it characterised by pervasive, long-term (typically 3+ months) exhaustion, loss of function, and reduced tolerance to stimulus. For some people, burnout can last weeks, months or even years. Serious burnout can also result in a loss of executive function and life skills, which very sadly in some cases can take years to return or they may not return at all if the burnout is severe. I've been in burnout for 15 months now, and I'm still not able to socialise as it's all a bit too much. I'm not depressed :) Just wanted to give a more detailed view on burnout.
came down here to say this. I've been burnt out for years. You can't medicate or meditate your way out of something caused by unmet needs and over doing it if you are forced to keep over doing it. It just gets worse. Burn out recovery can only start if the situation that caused it changes, and even then its long and slow, and its effects reverse even more slowly. Skill loss is no joke, like I've read cases of language or mobility loss.
Also, naturally, burnout can cause low mood and cut you off from interests, so they can comingle.
God, I wish it were short term...
I had depression for 2 years following a long burnout period, and the thing that got me out of it was working on a farm and with animals for a year, very intense long physical workouts, it was wonderfully hard and refreshing. I am a short weak city girl, I would never have met this opportunity in my normal life, but I seeked it out myself !
Hi @Colorfulvoid I'm glad the farm work and physical workouts helped you move through your depression/burnout. I'm in this state now, and the kind of work you found is what I feel drawn too/ feel instinctually what I need right now. How did you come across your farm and animal jobs and what kind of animals did you work with, if you don't mind me asking? Thanks, Deborah :)
That's incredible! I'm so glad you found that outlet of healing. How inspiring as well. Thank you for sharing. 🙏💕
@@clannard1 Hi Deborah sorry I took so long to answer, I didn't get the notifications ! I found my farm because I was seeking out voluntary work (in Europe we have a program for young people up to 30 that allow them to do voluntary work for 12 months or less, no charge, it's called EVS). I didn't want something social, I wanted something close to nature so I sent out my volunteering proposal to several community villages, schools and farms and one agreed.
I worked with free-range animals, mainly my dear pigs which lived in a forest most of the good season, but also hens, cows, sheep, and I did various farm work like packaging food, building fences, plucking weeds in the fields, repairing stuff, helping during small events…
I hope you got better but if not yet, it will be better I assure you ! Just get enough exercise in natural settings, even just parks and on grass, or do gardening if you can't find farm work to help you out. Gardening is still helping me cope as of today, it's a great help to put your hands in soil and helping life grow !!
Sought
Im having my first burnout whilst knowing I'm autistic.
You're so spot on with depression draining all want or desire to do things whereas when you're burnt out you'd trade a limb to be able to just push through, engage and get back on track. You sit there wishing you could get back into life but you can't. You just crash. Even though you really really don't want to.
With depression it's like everything's there if you want it, but you couldn't give a toss because you have 0 interest in life. You want to waste away and not engage ever again. You don't think about the future or try to. You don't care about anything even special interests.
Wow.. when you were talking about burnout and fantasising about carrying bricks, it really resonated with me. I’m an educated person, with ‘fair’ intelligence but the job that appealed to me most (mainly cos I can zone out doing it) is washing pots in a restaurant. The thought of working in an office makes me so anxious. I honestly think I would slowly die doing it. But the physical-ness (is that even a word?) of washing big heavy pots in a busy kitchen just works for me. And I am doing a masters degree! I just feel happier doing this sort of job. It could be carrying bricks, or gardening, or warehouse work. As long as it’s more physical and less brain power, then yes, I would want it more than office work, or sales, or any job that involves using a phone, which makes me feel sick and have mini panic attacks.
my aspie friends and relatives worked in Royal Mail which I think involves a lot of repetitive work that doesn't require much concentration. They are skilled in other areas but this line of work seems to suit them.
neelubird I have a couple of friends who are the same !
Your comment has really resonated with me as has this video, I am fairly intelligent IQ 125 , I had a successful career in sales and am highly creative, a trained designer... yet I have only realised the reason I have always felt different and suffered burnout & depression is because I have a form of high functioning autism/ Aspergers which has been both a revelation and shock as both my children are definitely on the spectrum and are awaiting tests yet they are 13 years apart ... I feel just like you that I could happily do something that that just to zone out of an overactive mind , I am truly happy when I’m in my own space creating and making things... I wish this was diagnosed when I was young as all I ever heard was ‘ you are capable of so much more’ which made me feel like I wasn’t pushing myself enough... I pushed myself in my career and to be a good parent, it exhausts me and I regularly have chronic fatigue as I am also now a full time university student which completely exhausts me... you have found your happy medium for you which is great, life is about what makes you happy not others ...
Dream big Always - I am exactly the same. I am a single mother of two teenage daughters, I work in my ‘zone out’ job and I am also completing my Masters degree (in art) so I have my very creative side too. I also have worked in management positions as well as a global headhunter for the life science sector for multi billion dollar companies. And have always been told I could do so much more. The total fatigue and burnouts and depression I have experienced throughout my life has been put down to laziness. I’m now in my 40s and have only become aware of what autism is very recently (6months to a year) but the more I read about it the more weight is lifted off my shoulders, because it finally all makes sense. X
Jam Gart thank you for your reply, really appreciate it...I have 21 & 7 year old sons , both raised for the vast majority as a single parent, I too worked for multi National pharma companies with success , wow you have had the same past... it was only 6-9 months ago I realised I was when beginning research for my young son (but had debated getting my elder son tested since he was 4 , I decided it may stigmatise him in life back then... ) how wrong I was... my feeling is like you a weight has lifted off my shoulders , although an excellent communicator I just always felt different , like I saw people , had perceptions & analytic ways most didn’t seem to have. I am also highly empathic, possessing that strong sense of justice I now know is part of autism. Like you I felt like not being Uber successful & getting burnout made me lazy. Yes it is enlightening and a huge relief to know and perhaps we should be more forgiving of ourselves because it all makes sense, you simply can’t help it... I’m finding comfort in knowing there are others like me as none of my friends would understand if I told them xx🌸
Thank you for this. I have reoccurring nightmares of repeating neurotypical high school. I've been severely depressed and burnt out after college. It's been 5 years since I graduated but I can't move that much. Most of my energy goes into making myself food and showering.
hope youre better now.
Where do you get the money if you are not working ?
Been wondering why I've been so tired all the time, even though I get enough sleep and all that. Then just last week I started incorporating more breaks into my schedule and focusing on more 'mechanical' or physical activities where i can just turn off my brain and focus on the motions. I've been feeling soooo much better. The visual way you presented this made a lot of sense to me. It's clear and easy to understand. Thank you!
You’re saving my life dude 🙌🏼I don’t know where I was if I didn’t find your channel 🙏💙my recent diagnosis is due to a heavy burn out,I’m an adult and I live by myself...really THANK YOU PAUL 🥺🤗
Did you have difficulty finding someone to give a diagnosis? I'm in Los Angeles and trying to find someone who diagnoses adults has been impossible.
@@SSNUTHIN I had trouble finding somebody to diagnose me as an adult, I ended up going to my gp who did research and sent off referrals, the only thing is you can wait years just for the appointment
@@SSNUTHIN I really hope you have found a place for a diagnosis. If not, embrace autism do autism assessments online. The doctor is autistic herself and she diagnoses adults. It's a Canadian company and the official diagnosis is valid in most countries!
I second this!!!!
@@notsotrendyautistic are you in UK do you suffer pain with autism
Regular yoga, strength training, cold showers and meeting good friends are my sources of energy. Took me a while to figure out that I have to balance out mental work load with physical work load to stay in "working condition" for as long as possible.
After suffering from depression, burnout, high blood pressure, anxiety, unemployment etc for more than a decade and turning 39 of age recently, I've been finally diagnosed with combined Asperger and ADD today...this is such a relief! I really need to thank you, Paul, because you actually "convinced" me that I could be on the spectrum. For a long time, the "common clichés" about autism like "I don't look like an Aspie", kept me from thinking I could be, until I saw your videos (especially the one where you tell about your childhood) and thought: "Hey, if you're on the spectrum and I can identify so much with your experiences, I should reconsider..". Glad I did.. Kind regards from Germany
I recently found out I’m adhd and probably autistic with pda, or pathological demand avoidance. I just turned 40!
I love that I’m not alone anymore with my weirdness 😂
The analogies like mask, wall and batteries are so familiar. I wonder if others keep track on how people drain or charge your batteries, avoiding drainers when you’re low and making an effort for others to whom you owe?
My friends and aquaitances are organized by how energising or draining they are.
Good idea! I find any socialization to be draining so mostly keeping to myself and trying to heal.
this is so helpful for contextualizing my depression (mis)diagnosis and how big of an impact school actually had on me. i was having perpetual burnout from school and generally existing in a world made to ostracize autistic people while having no idea i was autistic. i was diagnosed w major depression in middle school and put on ssris (they didnt help because that wasnt the issue) and given a talk therapist when what i needed was dbt and .. for school to not be setup against neurodivergent students the way that it is. ive always had a lot of issues with academia but since quarantine and being able to distance myself from school ive been able to see just how much it was draining me without me realizing it - because it was just my normal. being able to work on projects that interest me with almost all of my time has made me able to do other things i usually wasnt able to do that i chalked up to depression, like cleaning the house and cooking food and showering. its really amazing how much its all intertwined
Just want to let you know this video really helped me recently. I went back and watched it a couple weeks ago because I couldn't figure out if it was burnout or depression anymore. I realized I was in fact depressed and went back on my anti-depressants. Feeling better now, and on my way to recovery! Thank you!
In my case, I always get confused between depression, burnout and just autism. Because I somehow always experience all of the symptoms you've mentioned but I also experience short moments of joy often every day and I can, in addition (for example) do things that delight me for a few hours or even half of the day and then feel as tired, empty, pessimistic and short of motivation as before.
I've been really trying to figure out where to categorize this behavior but no matter what people explain to me or what I read about the differences of burnout, depression ect., I just can't pin it down.
dude samee. I feel empty and like shit, and then i get super excited and happy, but then just crash and all motivation and purpose is lost again.
I also unfortunately have no clue what that's all about, but rn I'm just trying to recharge (using the methods from this video lol) as best as I can, sort out my headspace so i don't feel mega guilty for feeling like shit (which makes things a lot worse), and ig I'll just see how that works out for me :]
I don't think this reply is very helpful, but hey! you're not alone! and I wish you the best while you're trying to understand what you're going through and work through it (or potentially around it), and I hope things go well for you :]
Same here, hope you’re all doing better and if so what helped / worked for you guys?
I get the same thing
My burnout depression went through stages, but it started showing itself in 2012, and I still suffer consequences from it with reduced stamina and impeded memory and concentration ability. I lost a sense of purpose and meaning that I haven't gotten back. I'm still mourning and it feels like I will never be able to live my life in color again. Whatever I need to do to get better is what makes things worse, but i also can't stand living a life not doing anything either, so I challenge myself, but it takes a huge toll on my emotional regulation, and my mood swings have become more and more intense, to the point where I was diagnosed with borderline disorder, and went through therapy for it, and it didn't help.
I hope you are feeling better. I suffered severe depression in my late teens/early 20s and now experiencing it again in my 40s. I play guitar and use music for therapy but I still struggle day to day.
@@MelModica thank you for your message. It turned out to be ME/CFS for me, and I finally improved after a stellate ganglion block, hyperbaric oxygen therapy and LSD-therapy. I still deal with depressive symptoms periodically but i'm no longer so impaired that I am harmed from light activity. I used to get PTSD-like reactions to everything, including my special interests- it truly was hell on earth.
I discovered I have Aspergers four months ago and your videos have been helping me a lot in learning more about myself and how to cope with it
me too!!
we have a lot in common.
I think I too. Did you tell your work? I'm super stressed about it.
Same
I suspected I had High Functioning Autism (HFA) and was recently diagnosed about a month ago. I can really identify when you speak of burnout. For me, I think my job has caused my burnout. I have done the same thing for almost 13 years but have never been promoted (nor do I want to be) and nor do I want to do what I am doing anymore. I want to do hands on work with computers in cyber-security. Currently I do a lot of office work - taking screenshots of things, interviewing people about their computer and business processes, etc. I love working with computers in my spare time and don't think I have depression because I am always up for learning IT stuff. Think I am about 4-5 months away for beginning to apply for hands on IT jobs (I am currently also going to school), but saying going though the constant burnout of my (current) job is burdensome is an understatement. I am not in the financial condition to just be able to quit my job and find something new (and it's hard to find a job without having one). I am thankful for the job and source of income. Do you (or anyone) have any tips on managing this long term, constant, burnout? Due to the HFA I don't really have any friends and the family just thinks I could make friends if I was just "social". Being alone and the (constant) burnout is very very very difficult. Any tips, particularly in dealing with the work burnout, would be most appreciated!
I have autism...i recently started a channel and with your inspiring videos I bought a Gopro and since then I have been going out and filming and vlogging...i feel as if behind the camera I can filter the world...edit my self and the world around me...
I wanted to thank you for giving me the courage and teaching ...
It has really made a impact on me...i watched most of your videos and at times I have watched you so much I gain the manners and speech patterns that you have...i mimic you...
Just not the accent...i live in Tennessee ...
When I do that it takes me a few days to adjust back...lol
I wish you could please tell me how to recharge the battery, fully. I keep only getting partly charged after staying in doors for several days and spending time with my animals. I go back out in the world and try again only to need another week staying at home with my animals. I never feel 100% ready.
Not easy.
Life after mobbing.
Leaving a wrong church.
Without family.
Traumatic ......
einklang.simplesite.com
Recharging looks different for everyone tbh. That's the trouble. You'll need to find what works for you specifically.
You need a pocket animal to take to work 😊
It almost certainly depends a lot on the person, but the most recharging experience I had all year was a week long vacation out in nature with plenty of physical outdoor activities (both labour and leisure) and basically always other people telling me what to do. I can't help you get that though as it was just a little thing organised by local communists.
Is there any way to get one of your pets trained in such a way that can come to work with you? This is exactly the kind of thing a helper animal is for.
Very well explained! I am sure that this video will help a lot of people!
but one technical advice with current real batteries. Never let them go to 0 and charge to 80, no more, only go to 100 of you really need it sometimes, this will be better for current Li ion batteries.
Your comparison is good to the old Ni MH batteries but don't do it on your current smartphone.
Sorry, I had to correct this.
Great video! Thank you! I have been trying for years to explain this to my friends: „No, I don‘t need you to come by and cheer me up, I need to be alone. I am not sad, I just need to do nothing for a while. If you leave me alone now, I‘ll be completely fine by tomorrow night.“ Now I‘ll just send them a link to your video. Thanks again!
Thank you so much for this. Back in the 1990's I was a hospital sociol worker doing 'short term' one off work assessing, educating and referring people in a sexual health clinic. Think infection education, contact tracing, pre and post HIV testing using counselling skills, referrals to drug dependancy units, counselling services, psychologists, psychiatrists, housing, benefits advice etc.,
I loved my job as it was so instant and varied. I never knew who was going to walk into my office and from where in the world (I was working in Hackney East London) and filled my need to help people and use my autistic micro observation skills. I did not know I was doing that at the time! My referral rate was way higher than my colleagues! Also very brief record keeping or report writing and my own office and clinic keys perfect!
Every so often I'd get 'depressed' and my doctor would give me a week off work and write 'viral infection' on the sick note and I'd rest and recover and be happy sleeping, pottering, reading mags, playing with my cat, catching up with friends and family and the next week I would be happily back at work.
When I was working I had no energy for anything else but work and just came home most nights to recover! I certainly could not sociolise on top of my job. Maybe the cinema or the odd drink.
From this brilliant, clear presentation it was obvious it was not 'deppression' but 'burn out'! Thank you for another piece of the 'jigsaw that is my life'! All gems gratefully received even at the age of 63!
RUclips algorithms suggested aspergers vids and I'm now being assessed!
Enjoy
This year I finally cured my 10 years depression. I was so happy to feel anything, even being able to cry was a miracle. So I used my new energy to do a ton of stuff I just couldn’t do before. It seems that I didn’t manage it well because now I’m burnt out. Honestly I still prefer my current situation because that will to live give me so much joy, but I feel so frustrated to see that my body doesn’t have the same limits as my healed mind. Your video cleared a lot to me, so thanks !
I feel like yoga and meditation can be beneficial for burnout and depression equally. Depending on what practice you use, it can be either relaxing or energizing.
You're the best, Paul. Thank you for helping me. I think I might be both burnt out AND depressed, all at the same time.
Thus is amazing. I can now classify my psychologists recommemded practices with so much more clarity. That battery flow make perfect sense
Listening to you Paul is energizing.
Now it makes sense how when I'm drained, all of a sudden I'm recharged by an event, idea or quick nap...
Thank you for this video, it really does seem that aspies are better at explaining these things than NTs :)
My version of brick carrying was to shift from a job with responsibility that affected the outcome of vulnerable people's lives to working in an open market spelling bright colorful dodads to tourists. There was a lot of physical activity involved , mindless interaction with happy people and no burdening responsibility. Even with long hours and some heavy lifting I was energized at the end of work.
Thanks for confirming that I'm on the brink of a serious burnout! On top of a very heavy workload, I also run a rather active online community and in recent days I've just completely shut down. Not responding to anyone, not talking, not engaginging. It's like my mind just shut down and said 'nope, can't do this anymore''. Which, on hindsight, is most definitely my body's defense mechanism kicking in to prevent even more burnout.
Really liked how you explained burn out and really appreciated your use of visual aids!
Wow!! Man, that was kind of challenging to hear but it’s so true; sometimes we’re focused so much on how little energy we have and trying to limit wasted energy, but we also need to see if something’s “clogging up” how we normally get energized.
Thank you
That is brilliant thank you. That is such a helpful distinction, and somehow (I imagine because it is coming from an Aspie brain [?!] ) this makes so much more sense of depression than I have got anywhere else. I am trying hard to remain off anti-depressants and this information will really help me. Thank you.
I seem to have lost my spark somewhere along the way. I have wondered if its just having shed a lot of ego around creative pursuits I no longer feel the need. Who knows. I think I've been something like depressed since I was a kid.
I'm probably just like an engine that's barely ticking over, and not up to any great demands. Thanks for this video. D
lost my spark as well
constantly depressed since childhood, and have recently lost most of my mental capacity, drive to do things and energy, my batterys are only charging to 5%
it sucks :(
I’ve been having such a hard time telling what’s going on, this helped a lot!
Paul, perhaps not posting this quite this far in advance is best. This video, in particular, is one that I would find very helpful, and it is somewhat frustrating to have to sit and see the content that is prepared but not have access to it. Please feel free to release it at your convenience/scheduled time. I just felt it would be helpful to share my point of view.
thanks for the feedback. I would usually try to release about a week in advance (or slightly less) so that people have time to put it in their diaries and decide to attend live. This one was an exception being so far in advance :)
Oh my goodness! Love your flow charts! I didn’t realize or know about burnouts. I have always lived in burnout for a very long time because I didn’t know, but once I unblocked what was stopping my flow of energy and rebalanced my work load I am now on my way out of feeling burned out!!!! This helped me understand the flow of energy so much more thank you
♾♥️♾🙏 thank you for the work you do may you always have undepletable energy
This was really helpful. Thanks Paul :) I regularly burn out when I overwork (which is very easy to do as I love my job - it's also a passion of mine and I work from home, to make things worse!). I feel emotionally and mentally numb, and even when I try to relax it's too easy to just go and work instead. It makes conversations difficult, because all I think about is work, and it affects relationships. But I see the signs and cut back on hours. My wife is very good at dragging me out to social events to give me perspective!
Thank you. It seems that you keep making videos that are exactly what I'm looking for and can't find anywhere else.
I'm currently in a depression due to burnout. I've been in and out of depression my whole life, so it's hard to know what I can do to make it better. Most recently, I quit my job because I knew it was too draining. However, I didn't know how to get that energy back and have been stagnating for several months. I've been in this situation before, which only increases my feelings of discouragement. What if I never get back up again? Why can't I do something productive for more than a few months at a time? Etc etc.
It seems every time I'm in these funks, watching a show or playing a video game (consuming any kind of fictional media, really) brings me back up. I really want to find a way to do this regularly, especially because my PTSD is causing me to avoid things I find "emotionally challenging" (for example, fictional media).
My question is, how do you find a balance between recharging and expending energy? If we really should charge up 100% before expending it all, how can I do that in a healthy way? I feel like a laptop that has been put on sleep and I can't find the charger, but I really need to use the internet.
Thanks, this video is helping me understand myself a bit more. I think I do have autism and autistic burnout is something I really relate to.
Love it Paul , You Always express your self well and provide a great informative presentation , Thankyou !
Thank you very much for this video. I never got the difference between Burnout and Depression. I struggle with depression for a long time now and never understood why Im tiered all the time and dont want to do anything. I have many ideas what I want to do and I would love to do them but on the same time I dont want to start. I think I should try to start these things even if I dont want to or feel Im too tired too maybe thats energizing me and "increasing" my battery again.
Same!
So true about needing to recharge fully
I found this video very useful. I feel like I understood how depression/ burnout work for the very first time.. I have been struggling for so long, I feel more hopeful now after watching your video. Thank you for giving us some practical tips as well! Lots of love
One of the best things I did was order a DUTCH test. You can do it on your own or through a functional medicine doctor. I found out my adrenal hormones were flat lined and I didn’t make enough per 24hrs. And it also showed my neurotransmitter metabolites and my dopamine was actually really good almost high. My mom thought I was depressed and I kept saying no im not its a physical thing. That proved it.
Yoga is great. I am now learning to be a teacher. The commitment to it is very energising.
I've read somewhere that one main difference between ASD burnout and depression is the presence of the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not sure, but having given this some thought, I agree (for the most part).
Well - I had a burnout in 2007 and it took me YEARS to recover. And I still have a HISTAMINE INTOLERANCE from that insult. My adrenals are still weak. But at least I DO WANT TO DO THINGS. I just take it slow. Sleep helps to recharge, very healing. Doing NOTHING is great too.
If you are histamine intolerant EXERCISE can be exhausting, STRESSFUL even, because it will increase histamine.
I think nutrition can do a lot with BOTH. FISH OIL may help, VITAMIN D.
But for me it was a WHOLE DIET CHANGE. I was a vegan, so depression was actually due to having lots of deficiencies of the major Vitamins. And animal fats.
So after going meat based my depression vanished within the first month. Chronic pain was gone after 3 months.
Now working on adrenal recharge.
I get violent headaches with burnout & can lose kilos quickly in days. Depression comes with lethagy which can last for ages. Having resposiblities pushes me to move.
Thank you for your content. I’m struggling and appreciate your non-sterile expression. At 43 I went down hard with anxiety and panic. I can recognize a period of withdrawal, short charge/creative outlet for about 6 months and then back to another flaming burnout, withdrawal, boredom and slow recovery. So much more to all of our stories than we can type in a comment :)
The concept of energy flow is so important to understand. Thank you for bringing it up.
I think I can neither relate to burnout nor depression then. I'm often out of energy and don't want to do anything as a result, just because I know it wouldn't lead to anything if I did, because I'm out of energy. I'm not feeling sad during these periods...well, yes, a little bit, since I can't do anything productive and are pretty much forced to sit it out. I feel like nothing reliably recharges me. Anybody else feeling like this?
Yes, I was feeling just like that (for years), and then just yesterday I was diagnosed with Major depressive disorder and Anxiety disorder... although they will be testing me for other things like ADHD and possibly Autism.
Make sure you rule out any possible physical reasons first.
All your videos are great, but this one is REALLY GREAT! Very helpful. Thanks! It should be required viewing for all neuropsychologists. I hope the APA is paying attention to your work because this topic really needs to be covered in DSM6.
On a separate note, the sound quality of this video is OK but I can't watch some of your others because it's not as good. I meltdown in less than one second from any type of echo, reverb, static, repeating background noise, two people speaking at once and more. Please consider this when making your videos and keep up the great work.
Thanks Paul. You are very good at communicating this information. I don't lose focus when I watch your videos because you use great analogies. It's extremely helpful Thanks Again :)
6:50 I wouldn't say that fully uncharging the "inner battery" is a good idea, since that is what leads to burnout (as you kind of state in your table yourself). Imagine you've almost completely uncharged and then something unexpected happens, that needs you to do some masking (like a long public transportation ride or an important phone call for example). You might go over your limits and end up burned out. Instead of fully uncharging I'd suggest to keep an eye on your "inner charging bars" (which is my analogy for getting a feeling for your own energy needs) and best recharge before you're "on the last bar". Burnout isn't just an empty inner battery but an empty inner battery beyond measure. It has damaging aspects and can lead to depression (as you said) and negative health impacts (up to suicidal behavior). One needs to "heal" after burning out. Here's a study about autistic burnout that I found to be very interesting: www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/aut.2019.0079
Your channel is amazing. Everything is genuine and has been very helpful understanding myself better. You have also become such a good presenter and content creator over the last year. Cheers!
Well this has been eye opening. Thank you. It sounds like I have been experiencing burnouts like all my life and misinterpreting them as depression. I have experienced depression before, but most of my lows are burnouts.
awesome vid but at least for a neurotypical person there def is a difference between feeling burnt out and having a burn out. it's not just a week of too much it's usually a loong time going over your boundaries. just thought id add that
This is the best video I have seen on this topic! Thank you. I love your clear description and your great tips. Thank you
Yeah I could relate immediately to the bricks vs exhausted brain sentiment. Hit it on the head for me.
Terrific! You are a great teacher, and well presented. After watching you, I am filled with more energy! Thanks!
Currently experiencing a burnout, thank you for the ideas!
Just found this video and it was extremely helpful for me right now. Thank you, always helpful stuff and helps make me more self aware of some of the mechanisms I use. Becoming more aware of them allows me to more effectively use them.
Hi! I have now watched all your videos (+ a couple more) in about 2 weeks. Why is there not 100+ more videos of you answering all my questions avalible at this moment?
Just kidding ;]
I much appreciate all the work and effort that you have put into all of this and looking forward for more informative videos.
Best wishes from Sweden
"traits of asperger, but not enough for a diagonsis..."@31, soon to be 33
Hey! Appreciated! Can you please upload strategies/coping mechanisms specifically for quarantine? Especially addressing what can help with being in a full house, yet anxiety about being outdoors? I feel this can help a lot of people
Really helpful presentation Paul! I like that you use your Engineering mind to apply principles to your subject for this channel. You remind me of a dear friend of mine from High School that I don't have much contact with anymore, you both have a sharp & clear articulate speech which is very pleasant to listen to. Another excellent video, love your content Paul 👌
I found the battery analogy very helpful, along with the explanations of recharging. I've also had a brain aneurysm, so fatigue is a big issue. Figuring out how to balance my energy has been hit-and-miss for many years, but I've been discovering some patterns, and this video will help me better figure out whether I need to recharge, when to recharge, and whether I need to put more energy in. Thanks!
I may get these 2 right now. No jobs, lots of rejection, feel useless. I felt burnout after job interviews and depressed after getting the result. I am still standing strong thanks to positive rock & metal music \m/, I won't give up, I won't give in
I have come to realise I am autistic. I struggle with energy and this has been really useful. Thank you
You are amazing. Thank you so much for these. So validating to have all this spelled out. For years doctors saying I have depression and it always bugged me and never felt true.
My first big burnout I quit college 2 incompletes short of my BSME and spent the next 7 years "picking up bricks' in a foundry. That was over 20 years ago. I had my Asperger's revealed to me only three years ago. Three days ago I started seeing a therapist, for my third try. Life was easier not knowing.
One of the most INSPIRING videos of you , ConGrats ! !
Some minor fixes (for me):
- E-out is mostly masking strategies. Which drains all the will power.
- Burnout occurs not whence the battery is low. Actually as the battery charge out, E-out increases to the point of Meltdown or Mania. And after that stage the recovery phase starts. Bottom line, the graph is not LINEAR.
- I liked this idea: if E-in problematic then it is pysch related and chemical. However if E-out is misaligned then it is ASD 😂
I'm pissed, it's been 13 years since I was diagnosed, and during middle school and high school I was in special Ed class for pdd and in therapy.
During this entire time no one bothered telling me about the concept of "autistic burnout", today was the first time I heard of the concept and it was on another RUclips video about the ratio between man and women people with autism.
would get these long lasting periods of having 0 energy to do anything and didn't know why.
I knew I wasn't depressed since I still enjoyed my hobbies and when comparing myself to my clinically depressed sister it really didn't match up. I honestly thought I was just being lazy, I had no idea "masking" has actual long term effects.
If I knew about it I wouldn't have forced myself to mask 24/7 for the past decade. At this point I don't even know how to stop doing it, the last time I concisely took a break from masking was in 2017 for a single day since i needed to go through dignosis again.
Okay im thinking burnout is what I've experienced for most of my adult life and not a couple weeks of depression here and there 🤔 the loss of interest for things usually enjoy was always a question i struggled with and didnt really feel was right, but I've never been overly sociable or had "obvious" hobbies so i based it on 'well i used to enjoy going outside but i dont feel like it now, so yes?' But I'd still want to watch my favourite movies and shows and read/learn about something!!
this was a really helpful way to frame the issue!
Great video Paul. My engineering brain was pleased with your explanation. I need to get more energy sources.
This is massively helpful. Thanks Paul.
I'm exhausted! Mentally, emotionally and physically. I don't think my battery has been fully charged in years. It might even be damaged to the point that it can't fully charge anymore. I think it cracked and started leaking when I realized that the 'dream job' that I'd wanted since I was in middle school, went to college to get the degree to qualify for, etc. had turned out to not be what I thought it should be anymore. It was a great job at first, but rules, policies, and expectations from the folks in charge started changing after I'd been doing it for a few years. Eventually, I realized that the job had changed so much that not only had it become a job that I no longer enjoyed doing, but I was also finding it harder and harder to do. Partly because it no longer focused on things I was knowledgable and talented at, and partly because it was no longer about something I could morally support. The last straw was when they told me that I had to become a supervisor and couldn't be a specialist anymore. That not only meant no more of the field work that was the most enjoyable part of the job, and which I'd found myself getting to do less and less of already, but also that I'd have to become an authority figure expected to enforce and support the changed rules that I'd come to despise.
I've felt like I didn't know what I really wanted to do anymore ever since. I've tried other jobs, but have not felt that they were a good fit, or that they were rewarding. The closest I've come to one that was both turned out to be a volunteer only job that got in the way of other things in my life that were supposed to be more important, especially when my grandma's health got worse and she started needing help at home, rides to doctors, someone to check on her etc.
Many if the places that I've gotten jobs with went out of business, or moved out of town not long after I'd started there. I barely have the energy to work a full day anyway.
I'm trying working from home, but it seems like those gigs are short-lived, dont pay much, or wind up being frauds that never do pay me for my work.
My family helps me out, but I hate relying on them and don't want to be a burden. They say I'm not because I'm doing things for Grandma that she can't do anymore and that the rest of the family hasn't got time to do. I love my grandma and want to help her, but this isn't the life I'd had in mind. I hate myself for feeling this way, but deep down I know its true.
I’ve both, had both since childhood.
This is genius, I've subscribed 💗
Honestly the best explanation I've ever heard! 👍
And I watched lots of videos about similar topics...
Thank you for this. Going to work causes me burnout pretty much everyday. On top of that I have misophonia and demand avoidance, so often it feels like my battery is at the 5% level. Maybe I need to find a different job, even though I'm very proficient at what I do, I like the routine, and in general I know what is expected of me.
Very informative and helpful!
Thank you, Paul!
Love your channel ❤👍
Thank you! I needed that right now.
I have AS and my social life pretty much peaked during HS. I was skating through life up until age 18 when I tried to get a job and wasn't able to. Then I began to burnout and lose my motivational drive. Now I'm 24 and in college but I don't even know if it'll be worth it. I'm even more worried with how things are going the way they are.
15 days, oof, but I’m really looking forward to watching this video
Love your work on this platform, thanks for all your content ☺️♥️
This was so helpful. Thank you!
Story off my life... depression.....what about Asperger's and anger... I'm feeling so angry right now I'm out of control. .
You need to distinguish between normal burnout and Autistic critical burnout which is crippling and can have life long neurological effects
Briljant:) I wish some one had explained this so insightfull en clear to me earlier. Greetings from The Netherlands and thank you for your good work!
Epic video. I love this analogy it works really well for my brain. Energising activities for depression, (mentally) restful activities when burnt out. Anyone got any tips on how to deal with simultaneous burnout and depression?
This is amazing!!! Thank you 💕
Thank you, this was really helpful!
Motorcycle riding is energising for me, but I can’t fully charge. I currently feel like I need months off work and spend that time self-indulgently in my interests.
I am in a vicious cycle on burn out. Now I understand.
I was bullied while I was going through a bad time. I wont eat drink and cant sleep properly. I'm normally an athlete and love music now I don't have energy . If ed no strength. I'm diagnosed anorexic and the mean individual set off the eating issues. Sitting in the dark.
Is it possible to recharge through work? Say, after a burnout, by switching from an energy-draining job to one that still demands regular energy expenditure, but without the trap of low-battery labour?
I may have answered my own question, there, but looking forward to anyone's input!
I find my emotional energy is always the first thing to go. Nearly everything makes me angry. I want to be left alone. I use masking to excess,🙃, then I snap. Usually at the expense of my job or even friends. Is there anything persific that would help me with this pattern.
Thank you for this!