What A Long Term Relationship With A Narcissist Looks Like - Interview (Covert Narcissism Channels)
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- Опубликовано: 19 окт 2024
- A subscriber's experience over a 33 year period living with a person displaying numerous characteristics of a Covert Narcissist when compared to the DSM.
Coaching Enquiries - narcscon@gmail.com
Audio only version now available on all major Podcast Hosting Platforms search (narc con)
40 years here. Final discard was two years ago. Glad to find this channel.
They drain your soul & try to break your mind. You can not live with them.
Absolutely …..Never live with them!!!!!
I was married to a narc for 28 years.
I feel very sad for Simon.
I didn’t know until I knew then I divorced him.
These people destroy lives.
Thank you for sharing Simon 🙏
You will find someone kind like you deserve.
I can see how kind you are and I’m glad you are still smiling.
Good interview Paula I’ve been divorced a year when I’m completely healed I will do an interview as well.
When that time comes I will contact you.
I think it’s important due to the type of narcissist my husband was.
Very covert
Thank you Lyn and for your support of us
Can’t wait to hear your story Lynn
Coverts are the most dangerous stealth (chris watts ex: 🚨) the older and more money the better they are at the cat 🐱 mouse game ... Demons
24 years trying to figure out what to do. Just kind of learned this in the last 6 months. I'm curious to hear your experience as well.
I'm one of the stubborn ones. I knew she was a narcissist 3 years into the marriage. I ended up tolerating the abuse for 30 years. She is still stalling the divorce. I've been over 7 months no contact. I'm finally starting to thrive!
Yes, as soon as that ring goes on. NOW this is how it's going to be!
enjoyd you interview with simon.i done 47yrs with my narc.saw the light eventually.1yr free of the mental dance.getting on my feet and so gratefull to have seen the final red light.would like to start living again in peace.or should say gratefull that i now live in peace.proud of you simon.you are my hero
I think the lack of knowledge is what gets us stuck. The key to freedom is to let go. Ty Paula and Simon for your great insight
This is true for me.
“When You Know...You Go!! Simon that’s the best mantra ever for this craziness! You did a wonderful interview and shared your story so well. Isn’t RUclips the best?? Saved me as well. Great job Paula! 👏👏👏
Hey Alice, good to hear from you thanks 🙏 😊
@@NarcCon Paula. You’re the best! I really loved this interview....gives me hope that I’ll have joy again like Simon. 💕👏🤗
In his voice I hear his empathetic spirit, so he was a target from day one! Sista, you did a wonderful job doing this interview! I admire the work that you do!
🙏🌹
Thank you both! I could so relate to this. I often described the change after marrying a covert narc as "it was like someone flipped a switch"...and the devaluing became more abusive and a daily thing. We were together 7 years before we married and it was never the same after the wedding. They are very conniving and calculated...
Yesterday I had my first Hoover in 10 months,, I looked at him emotional-less,, and how old he looked ,,, I cut the conversation off abruptly and held my head high and drove away !,,, ya girl 🤗🤗🕊🕊🕊
They try to come back ( like as if nothing happened) WELL DONE GIRL. Glad you looked in your rear mirror and leave him that way 👏👏👏. Don’t look back
Congratulations not easy well done
Well done! They come back after a significant amount of time has passed like they just saw you 10 minutes ago. And they think that is normal behavior! Take care of yourself! 😊
What a powerful story! No matter if the Narc is male or female, they behave so similar in a lot of ways.
I do believe that a longer relationship with one of them does change you and makes you into a whole new, more rounded person once you are healed.
It’s just a shame you need to go through it to see what is really going on but the people around you don’t have a clue and are often not empathetic to to your journey.
Makes me want to share my story to raise more awareness.
Same demons different physique 🙏🏽💕
Definitely operate from the same playback. Also, a lot of people aren't informed, never went through it, or are one themselves, when it comes to sharing experiences. I've gotten told that it's my fault, that I knew about it, I made her that way, it's my fault bc I'm too nice, that I'm stupid. I didn't know about any of this. I got with my ex when we were 16, that was 2002, and I left 2022. Getting blamed and shamed for it doesn't help, it actually hurts me and prolongs the healing. It's not encouraging at all. Also, it triggers me because my ex would manipulate me into thinking I did something when I didn't. So I just stay away from people, which is pretty lonely and unhealthy socially.
It just shows how arrogant they are, a bricklayer can build you a house, and Simon did, but it is never enough. Great interwiew i wish Simon all the best. Love from Switzerland❤
SIMON told my story, 33 years with vapid individual... the kids were my anchor... when the youngest graduated, she left unepectedly in two days... unreal. Thank you Paula and Simon.
I was married 33 years of hell it was to narc husband I left 6 months ago I’m finally finding healing peace and freedom
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Hugs.. Married almost 36.. filled for a divorce. No energy left. I wanna be loved unconditionally before I leave this earth..
GOD be with you you have been delivered from bondage and torture my prayers are with you love you're self
I want to tell my stories but I feel like it’s so hard to process to tell the story, in a way I can be understood. It was just a complete mind screw. The way you helped him talk it out, is amazing. We need people like you. 💓
🙏🌹
Have you tried writing out your thoughts, stories? it can help you unscramble them and be therapeutic at the same time. 💕
Simon thank you for your honesty with this.
I was with my husband for 34 years and only left when he attempted to kill me.
I know that when we met these people, there was no information out there.
We tried to build families with possessed people.
Thank you for talking about the triangulation with objects and occasions.
It is bizarre and it takes years to start to see this pattern.
God bless you Sir.
You have crystal clear vision now, ‘we tried to build families possessed people’ thank~God for showing you the truth, God bless you 🙏🏽💞
RUclips has done more for me than any therapist or psychiatrist I've ever been to, and being the "crazy" one I've been to many, what a waste of time, not one of them knew a dam thing, and half were narcs themselves
It was the words passive - aggressive that woke me up too. Covert narcissists are masters of passive aggressive behaviours.
Simon, has really been through the wringer with the narcissists!!! God's got his back!! He's stronger than ever before!! Bravo!! 🤗💞Great interview Paula! 🙏🌺🤗
30 years, my god!!! how he managed i have no idea, i was broken by mine and it took 3 years, I think it has damaged him, but, he sounds like he is getting better. and thank god he will never take her back. Cheers for telling us.
30 years ago this information wasn’t available and they weren’t that toxic its like chinese water 💦 torture it accumulates the insanity ☠️Thank God he’s safe
I spent my whole life in narcissistic relationships starting at birth.
Now at 64, 4 years of inner and shadow work, I am now mentally and emotionally healthy....well actually there is still work to do. I don't think you can ever totally heal from the damage done by the demons known as narcissists.
With that said, I reflect on the poor choices I made in searching for genuine love and validation thinking if only I could find someone to fix it would fix me.
Now I know that you can't fix what is wrong on the inside by thinking someone or something from the outside will do the trick. Now as I get closer to the end of my journey than the beginning, I am o.k. with being alone and am learning to know myself. And I'd that means not having someone that loves me for me until........it is what it is!
Shallow. The feelings I get from the Narc types are shallow and superficial. Like they are just actors watching for your response. Yes, when you know, you go. I was not smart in the beginning and I kept taking him back. After many channels like this one, it was a reality that set the red flags burning. It was time to stop the cycle after a lifetime of accepting this treatment as normal. Thank you for all you do to help others to heal.
I hated the cold empty stares I would get when I caught him in a lie or predicted his next evil move: just a blank stare and silence. After that happened a few times last summer I prayed for help to get away from him because I felt my life was in danger. He left me ten days after that prayer. 🙏🙏🙏
Hollow human bodies filled with demon souls 🙏🏽💕
@@RazainthewoodsThank~God 🙏🏽💕
And p.s you are so right about them always doing something for a reason and usually its while they are gaslighting us telling us that we are crazy and that they arent up to anything 🙄 x
Simon, u came on leaps and bounds. Can't imagine how nerve-wracking it is filming. U were really humble here. U didn't get nasty for your children at all. Well done.
Very good video. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. So glad I can share my divorce from a narcissist is coming on to a one year anniversary! Such good news!.
Good luck to everyone else
I had such a situationship for only ½ year, but it took 2½ years to get over it. Dreadful experience but learned so much. I had a soulcontract with her, I heard somewhere.
Now awakened, and mentally freed, feeling very strong. Satori/kundalini, that kind of thing. I'm seeing the reward glimmering
I lasted 19 months knowing him and 9 months of a full relationship. it was awful. I am just starting to feel positive again and happy and content to the point I I want him back in my life .
That’s what I call it a situationship, bc it was never a real relationship- it just bounced from one situation to the next.. haha 💕
Thankyou for doing this interview, I can so relate to lights thing, it wasnt with lights but it was with something else 🙈 there are so so so many things that add up over time, its insidious, even after learning about it things pop up in your head the longer you are out and it's like omg lightbulb moment !, it all comes back to you once you are out and so many things keep coming to light once you have the knowledge and you realise why theh done so many of the things that they did.
Like you said Paula these little things they di if we were to tell people they would think well that's not abuse...and they really would think we were crazy, insidious is the only word that some narc abuse up for me because of this, its nearon impossible to explain it and get support x
Ha yes! They do pick up the character traits of the people they are cheating with. My ex was (unbeknown to me) cheating with multiple women, but one of the longest term women was Asian. And he actually suddenly (after 30 years together) started chopping salad...Asian style. And I thought...”Where the hell did THAT come from”?? And yes, they do start to come across as soulless robots. There is such profound emptiness coming from them by the end...the human element is completely diminished. They are only there ‘physically’. And barely even that.
Good point. I remember him coming home from a trip to his country ( where he was basically living a double life) and we were being intimate and he was doing something he had never done before. This was a few years after his first affair so I knew in my heart he was cheating again. I actually stopped and started crying. He said no no no... I just thought you would like it. Ok but where did you learn that?.. ( in my head ...another red flag that I ignored).
Omgggg so textbook the one I knew who is southern Baptist then married Asian ( 90 days gold digger 😉) he was wearing the clothes and buddha everywhere it’s ridiculous Bad actors 🚨
@@alicenotinwonderlandanymor3558 Yes they are now trying tricks its Horrendous 💥
It's very creepy when you see this phenomenon
Omg I’m sorry I had to laugh, but yes it’s so true they take on things as well as mannerisms they never had with you. Words expressions and little sayings. It’s just crazy.
My ex said to me, "Now I've got you I don't need to try anymore." I thought he was joking but he wasn't, this was when the devalue began. Simon's experience sounds so like mine. He was the master of silent treatments and triangulation but not with other women, with his adult children. Dr. Ramani describes this as the 'neglectful' narcissist. Where you feel invisible in the relationship and like you don't even exist. This type of narcissism is just as abusive as any other type. I was with him for 8 years, I will never go back to being who I was, these relationships change you forever.
Yes you will, let go of him and allll of his rubbish
I understand the neglectful narcissist is horribly abusive, but I would have preferred that to the sudden out of nowhere screaming abuse that literally shocks you to your core, that you suffer CPTSD from as well as the invisible 🫥 existence where you are only noticed to serve their needs to get them out of the trouble they constantly create. You will go back to yourself in time, time heals all wounds and prayer to God helps you heal much faster. 🙏🏽💕
Narcissists cannot be authentic. I told the x Narc one day that I missed being able to laugh together like I used to with my other friends and he started “ laughing”. And it was so fake. So pathetic. It proved my point
I know what laugh that is! That loud sarcastic sadistic laugh! Basically saying you funny for saying that! I swear I hate narcissist!
Not only does it make us stronger people it unites us in a way that all survivors yearn to be seen, reflected back in a stranger who has lived with the same burden which is not only cathartic, it's also unifying ❤️🔥
Well done Simon . I went through something very similar . Yours sounded like she was a teacher ? I may be wrong . Mines was . It’s such a relief to get out . All the best and it can only get better .
33 years me, jaw dropping and blew the bridge up too!
It’s amazing to hear IT from a guys perspective, so thank you!
👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿I resonate very deeply with Simon... I completely walked away once I caught wind of Narcissism its was almost like I had an awakening I'm so GRATEFUL to be free!!! From My Narc uncle, cousin & 3 ex's Totalling 34 years of Narcistic Abuse... Paula thank you for sharing 💜👸🏼💜
🥰❤️🌹
Keep working on yourself, hope your healing journey is long and strong.
@@blairbushproject Thank you kindly and it means a lot I Hope and Pray Your healing Journey Is Going Very Well Stay Strong and Safe my friend 😊🙏🏿
My 1st. NARCISSIST EX and I were were in a relationship for 12 years together and I dealt with him 23 years Wow its amazing how Narcissism is a huge entrapment that in a lot of cases last for years be we realize what it is.. I'm so GRATEFUL For Our Community it is life SAVING ... Absolutely Great Interview 🤗🤗
Aren’t there so many amazing beautiful real people in our community LaKiesha including you 😊
@@NarcCon Yesss there is 🤗 Thank you Paula it means alot 🌹🌱
Don’t feel bad Simon... I like you just worked our ass off . I was a roofing contractor. Worked very hard and experienced the same life . We didn’t know
These ppl are so evil, they will grow old and remain the same, nothing will change, not even for the positive, they are evil, beyond this world. They plot and plot to destroy innocent ppl that did nothing to them. Paula, ty for this interview,30 years and still no change..I pray for this man, and thank god I am out
It's just heart aking what he went through and yet amazing that even a down to earth block like Simon could get it in the end so accurately... God bless you for all the work you've put in to warn and help others.
I kept diaries during the 22 years I was married to my narcissist, the stories I could tell you. They are very therapeutic to look back on now, how or why I put up with him god only knows
In all the turbulence of perpetual chaos as well as being dumped with all the responsibilities, I never had time to keep a diary, but I have 4 x full phones of 15 years of text msgs as that’s the only form of communication my ex-narc would use, so it’s all very raw, very real, very volatile & abusive record of the living hell. 🙏🏽❤️
Hey there, I've been following your videos for around a month and nearly watched them all. I've been through cycles of Narcissistic abuse all my life and haven't learned as much in 40 years as I have in the last month. I would just like to say that I really find it helpful listening to other peoples experiences and especially when it's good yourself doing the interviewing. Thank you and I say more of this kind of thing if others feel the same.Really helping me peice together what's happened to me. Thank you. x
God these videos are so good getting advise and views from different people who have unfortunately had to deal with a narcisisst . I didnt even know what narcisissts were until just over 2 years ago could never understand why my partner put me through different relationship issues that were utter nonsense and the lies affected me the most as started to question my own sanity and confusion . I'm so grateful for all channels that can give knowledge to understand it do we can stay away from toxic people . Love your channel .
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Simon and Paula thankyou 🥰
Your a wonderful survivor Simon 💪
Wishing you all the happiness in the future.
God bless
@@oscarwilliamson1264 thankyou, I was unfortunately, but Narc free now thank goodness 🙌
@@bohemiangypsy7783 which country are you from?
Thank you for this interview- Simon & Paula. I grew up in a household with narcissists. It's something that effects your whole way of being, perceiving, and interacting with the world. Devaluation was an ongoing. Yes, we are groomed to think it's normal and so we find ourselves in these relationships.
And Narcissist relationships follow ---- a hard lesson to learn
😞🧡🌻
Abuse & love are hand in glove, if you’re raised by one, the irony is they consider themselves superior, every lose lose relationship involves a cluster B
Yes as I began to learn more and more about this and why I tolerated so much garbage, so much abuse... it really grieves my heart to now understand that i was programmed in childhood with 2 narcissistic parents, one worse than the other. Two narcissistic siblings and it is no wonder I ended up in two horrible marriages with narcissists,.. alone now for 6 years and afraid to ever get involved with anyone... maybe there is still a chance to have a good hearted companion but marriage is not something I ever would venture into now.. never again.
A wonderful and informative and helpful conversation. Paula, what an excellent human you’ve invited to share - Simon was a revelation. And I could listen to you converse all night. Thank you.
Yes Simon is wonderful
14 years for me of slavery and torture child alienation infidelity lost my farm 20 year career 2 years in prison abuse by proxy almost took my life and killed her it's so wicked and evil life changing experience that's changed my view of life I started a channel men's covert recovery dedicated to men who suffered abuse of covert narcissist its a battle war
For your spirit for your mind for your children your sanity you're life
Wonderful
Thanks Simon and Paula ! Simon, I so relate to your experience , I blew the bridge up after 36 years of marriage , been going on 2 years now .
I stayed so long like you because of the investment , so complicated , red flags were there from the beginning , like you , my father was a narcissist and my mother an enabler so it all felt familiar . Thank god for RUclips , I thought the ex was bi-polar and stumbled on N.P.D. and bingo ! All the pieces were being put together . And they do get worse with age . I agree a lot of their moves are planned not instinctive . I am so much better but not there yet , feeling the old joyeuse feeling , laughing again , it was all meant to be .
That long for me as well , there are so many factors , and still I deal with misplaced guilt , responsibility, and failure . Conditioned that way by a covert narcissist foster Mom, so how my ex treated me was familiar . Today i don't put up with it for a minute recognize it for the absurdity , and abuse it truly is . MY ex married a nice guy , and settled down that served her image , she wore the mask well , and it served her well , until i became seriously ill , and our wedding vows that she always claimed she lived by were absolutely irrelevant. I endured a lifetime of her supposed depression, and anxiety , a convenient cover and misdiagnosed condition. She got a pass on much abusive, destructive behavior , they can decieve , and manipulate professionals as well . God bless , and guide you !
@@randallbrinkman2570 I’m so sorry. 🤗🤗🤗
Same here with the diagnosis- bipolar then borderline personality disorder, depression, anxiety - but no mental health Professional we saw ever mentioned NPD, I now know after finding out about NPD it goes hand in hand with all these other decrepit diagnoses, the other treatable mental illnesses are another mask of NPD. Especially the high functioning ones who enjoy manipulating a successful career, while they strip away your own career and everything else in your life and existence. 🙏🏽❤️
Thank you Simon for sharing I know it wasn't easy.Living with a narcissist is so draining. The dread of what they will dish out next is just exhausting. All I can say is heal heal heal.
Thanks Paula....Lovely man Simon...you have such alot to offer a good woman...and if you want to in the future one Will come along to Share your Life with...the journey has been Long and Painful but you haven't lost your Light Simon...they didnt succeed in putting it out!....Shine on my friend..Thankyou for Sharing your Story
Thank you Simon and Paula for the video.
Simon, you and I share the same story almost exactly. It is so remarkable too me how similar the abuse is handed out and more so, how we receive and process it. Good on you brother. Stay strong!
I love your handle name 😂🤣🙌🏽
Silent treatment to the highest level
Never a rage
Never ever ( maybe used elsewhere instead)
Extremely controlled
Calm
Calm
Calm
Too calm tbh
We never fought out loud
I wished so many times we did - to get rid of the anger, tension, build up rage - he gave me little by little
I even wondered- there must be something wrong with him , not wanting to have a healthy fight for words
Never happened - during 2 yr “relationship “
Never !!!
This was my narc - he would’ve been an amazing spy and a sadist
Thank you Simon, well done man 🙋♀️
That was funny what she said about putting one brick on top of the other. Then Paula laughing adding a little devaluation there. Does everyone see how we overlook their comments? Paula caught it.
Good luck to you Simon, you'll get what you deserve. I did eventually! Stay true to yourself. I pray you maintain a solid relationship with your children too...
thank you Simon and Paula. It was very helpful. Your joy Simon is so honest. It is true Paula narcs have like different vibes like statues like they are dead or a very negative emotions - there is no good emotions in them.
This is a huge testimonial of how important these RUclips channels are. Thank You Paula for the consistent effort you put into informing people on narcissism. I believe it's God's work to instill a vocation on ex victims to put information out there. I was woken up by one of these channels as well. It saved my sanity and probably my life since after devaluation and discard (compounded by the silent treatment and isolation) I found it very hard to hold on to my job.
I keep saying to myself how truly amazing is to realize that people from different races, beliefs, genders and walks of life can immediately resonate with a narcissistic story and sort of "wake up" and begin their recovery journey. God bless Paula and all of you following this channel. 🙏
Yes, great community and great people 🙏🌹
I’ve gone through almost everything Simon has but not married as long, so thankful and helpful for sharing your story
Triangulation was huge in my relationship, she did it regarding her ex husband, male friends on Facebook and in person with other men out in bars .Facebook triangulation was huge for her. She even used television for triangulation saying certain men on television were “ real men” . I was even told she would get guys , she was flirting with on Facebook to break my jaw. She would flirt wildly with trades men that came to her house to do jobs. I was called half a man.” She basically constantly implied that I wasn’t a proper man” . She would say things like look at the head on you , implying I was ugly.
Thats a narcissist alright! Thanks for sharing man.
Horrendous behavior.
Thx Paula for giving a platform for real victims to share their authentic selves. Thx Simon for being you. All of you is real honest and yes, the rainbow of life will be yours. I, like you was a good life partner for 24 years. My abuse was all Covert and I was blind but now I see. When those divorce papers arrive throw yourself a divorce party. That's what I'll do with all my friends who love me. You are free to be you now Simon. Be you, love you and the universe will provide. A brave testimonial Simon. When you know "Go" I found HGTudor too, and ran for the hills. No Contact all the way. Have a lovely Easter, eat chocolate and count your blessings, you are off that horrible roller coaster the narcs call life!
❤️❤️🌹
Simon is a nice guy. It was really good to hear from a man who was in the long term abusive marriage. I could hear it in what he said and recognize how real it was.
I can so relate , likewise we were in a relationship for a couple of years . Not understanding proposed getting married trying to resolve the instability . As we all know now it doesn't. My ex would threaten to leave , it ocvurs so subtly , fail to recognize living under constant threat of desertion abandonment, they recognize and exploit childhood trauma . I have been speaking to a acquantance the past couple of days . I would describe them as sociopathic. They dont bother to cover their hatred , and prejudice as a narcissist does . Makes me think a covert narcissist is the most dangerous . Your isolated with a covert , as you and Simon discussed , yes we come off as crazy . As time passes , recognize more and more how distorted , deranged their thought processes are . To us there is no reason , but reality they are so self absorbed , snared in their emotions, and imaginations. They,re only awareness is how they are affected . We are firstly objectified a means to an end , then subjectified. They are possessed, and yes highly passive aggressive. Accept there is no resolution , and are resigned to a uneasy peace . My ex for example weeks would go by , had nothing to say to you , life was going through the motions . No reason she would go back to treating you as a human being again . They dont see it as pure lunacy, are able to justify all their lunatic behavior . The problem is everyone else , and everything else . No reality they are absolute lunatics, poseesessed by fear , envy , anger ,and rage . It's interesting this acquantance who has contacted me . They are 50 now they have hit the wall . I warned them long ago , their beauty , and seductive charm would fail them one day ; Pffft was their response , the serpent himself responding . Well I was right , yes they aren't attracting as they used to , the world is no longer their oyster , I did know something . Do they want help ? No ! They want information , same old selfishness . Trying to pick my brain to avoid anymore pitfalls thinking they can still win , only out to exploit . Their end is waste , and destruction sadly , only seeking advantage unwilling ,or unable to get honest . Forgiveness requires repentance . There is a story of a drug addict that did themselves in , left a note for his loved ones, stating. You seen how many times I failed , but failed to see how many times I tried . How emotional right , heart rending ? Prick , liar ! Just one more that wouldn't surrender , half hearted , double minded selfish , dishonest liar , coward ,user , abuser . Burning in hell ! That's harsh , just being real !
How specifically accurate your comment is - hit the nail right on the head 🔨 I think the only good thing that comes from our time with these demons is it brings us closer to God 🙏🏽❤️
Simons testimony is very honest, and I really enjoyed him. And I felt that he really had regret and pain and despite this took great measure to extend his personal responsibility. It is refreshing to hear from others in their unique words and experiences as mirrors into our own. I love interviews with real people. And I’m glad I sat and gave Simon my time as i did find similarities and laughed mutually with the realizations. Good narc humor. Keep up the good work Simon.
Brilliant Paula, fantastic that you are doing real life videos. I felt like crying for this very brave man. But by goodness is he ever right. So happy for him that he finally got out and stayed out Bravo!
This is heartbreaking and inspirational all at the same time. Thank you for sharing your story with us and Paula thank you for helping us survivors. It is such a long hard road back. God bless u both ♥️
Feefs...I see in your pic your have a friend they help so much take care 🐕🌹
Good to see Simon, you are not going to allow your narcissist ex to define you,and your still smiling, good for you, keep in trucking, I'm sure will meet the right person one day, her loss. Good luck and have a great life
I have been married 33 years and just learned that he is a covert narcissist. For many years I felt something was wrong with our relationship but I was blind. In the last few months I was following a celebrity trial that brought up the issue about narcissism and because of that the RUclips algorithm kept bringing up videos about this personality disorder, otherwise I wouldn't even know to look up. The fact that he is quiet, laid back and had never been violent or argumentative deceived me even more, but was a cheater, devalued me as a spouse, destroyed our finances and discarded me about 10 years ago for a new supply, that romance lasted only about 5 months, she was a full blown cheating narcissist worst than him. We got back together again about 4 years ago, but not until now I have been able to see the truth and consider leaving for good.
I hope you did it, they aren’t there to make you happy or serve your needs- it’s all about them, you deserve better 🙏🏽💕
Absolutely fantastic interview,very helpful in so many ways.
Thank you for sharing and being so open, Simon! This has really helped and encouraged me tremendously!!
Simon, thank you so much for your bravery in sharing your story. And thank you also Paula for providing this platform and your channel. I'm certain this will help so many people. I was in a long term relationship with a malignant narcissist but he also had antisocial personality disorder. I tolerated domestic violence, for which I could have been killed, and he was subsequently jailed for. I suffered years of verbal abuse, financial abuse, and infidelity. I found out he had an addiction to Asian massage parlours and other porn, dating sites, and was also unfaithful with me with his ex and other women. I'm out of the relationship now finally, but as you said, the cognitive dissonance combined with what a person believes in their mind that you have made such a large investment in the relationship is also what kept me in it and kept going back to keep trying again and again after many hoovers and his promises of "I've changed". I'm still suffering the effects of the CPSD, so seeing you and your story and the glimmer of hope "on the other side" has helped! I was only in it for 8 years and not 33, but its encouraging to see the hope you have, the strength in your voice and your ability to look back but still smile. Thank you!
🙏❤️
I love Simon's humor.
He has a wonderful laugh right! 😀
Wonderful interview! Thank you, I wish you much happiness moving forward, Simon
Everything is done on your own!!!
Yes, the minute the ring went on, EVERYTHING changed. There has been no way my friends could understand. Filing divorce on Monday.
Yaaay me!
They (the narcissist) says rude, ugly, mean-spirited things in such a "normal" way that u r confused and feeling like u must be overly sensative or something
Yep we were raised and conditioned to accept toxic behavior😫
That is the hardest part in the recovery process to no longer tolerate abuse from others in any way or form and respect and love yourself and to stand your ground. We have to stay close to ourself always and set boundaries and have zero tolerance if those boundaries are crossed. Put ourselves at the first place. Don’t give in to others. Keep your values. Please yourself, not others.
Mine changed. I was immediately a "thing" and treated like trash. It's a DEMON disguised as the angel of light.
We keep on learning with interviews like this! Thank you, Paula 🤗
Thanks to Simon ❤️
@@NarcCon yes! Thank you Simon!🤗
i was swept off my feet in ,1986. We married in, 1996. We had a child in, 2006, and I finally met her in, 2018.
“ Keep up that wall Simon ! “ Thank you for sharing. excellent video .
Only those of us who have lived through the abuse can understand how they can triangulate us with Christmas lights. They can triangulate us with anything.
Well done Simon and thanks for being so open. What I slowly discovered was these entities don't operate alone. It's their origin and the old nature v nurture debate. It's in their DNA initially and gets triggered by so many possible environmental issues, so yep, look at the family structure, mother and father first. Like a helium balloon it cant be one, without the gas, container, and string. So to a narc needs the attention, affirmation, and a group of flying monkeys.....you have it nailed...GO,SO.
Great interview! Thanks for both of your insights. My heart relates to what you've gone through Simon.
Infinite Thanks' Simon for
sharing your story with all
of us I hope it comes a day
where you have healed 💯
stay strong warrior, yes lové
his sense of humor!.dont let
anyone ever take that smile
away from your face ok welcome
to this family with all of us here
Huggs' God Bless 👏Take Care💙✨
Beautiful Maya. 🌹
@@NarcCon 🤗💗
😢 I’m you Simon.😢 45 years. I loved her and she used me .Over it? 😢. I feel your pain. It never goes away.
I hope it improves soon ❤️🌹
@@NarcCon yes with help.... it is improving. Like Simon I have a optimism that will not die. Despite the pain
Nice work Simon. So much the same, same with me aswell. You sound well and a cup half full person. I played rugby aswell. 👍
Please do more interviews xx this was fantastic x please pass on gratitude x
Today is 8-22-2024 Thursaday
Dear Paula, this is awesome having a guest on your video. I know this video is three years old by now, but this I can relate to so so so much. It would be fun if you could do more of these. Every time I hear stuff I just am shocked on how much we all can relate to each other. It's true it's like as soon as they get married bam it all changes even from the first night. I did not Even understand any of this until I got so tired, I could not go through it one more time and I went to the RUclips and typed in toxic relationship and Bam and learned about covert, narcissist, overt, narcissist, etc.
I am watching them practically nonstop and the sho h upon shock. Once you know what it is you want to throw up. It is like how in the world could someone do this and dupe someone so bad.
It is true that when you grow up with a parent or in this environment, a person is so blinded, and cannot even see when we're talking decades and decades and decades and decades.
Thank you both for this video.
God bless you both.
From Cynthia Ann in JANESVILLE, WI
I can understand so much this guy mine was 28 years and it's nearly exactly the same , different circumstance but the pattern and the cruelty, I'm just 7 months out but he's have me a reason to look forward bless to he man. fantastic interview
Wow, he's such a great guy. You can just tell. I wish him all the best.
Great interview discussion. I recognise a lot of stuff from this in my and other situations.
He is happy and free now!
You really believe he is happy now? Step out of the fantasy.
Thanks Simon for telling/sharing your story.
We go through life thinking people are just people they have problems, you firgive, overlook. My last days (30 yrs) my husband told me, i put " my sons name on the property" the property we over 30 yrs of full time paychecks from both of us labor, going without thinking we were building a future to will to his children and my one. He said just recent my child hasn't been in the family long enough. To receive any inheritance. He is my child just as his just as precious. But to say that to me! He said actually I am not worthy when he said that. It was soul crushing. That was my first step in this narc journey began. Yes i cant hall 3 two by fours at a time but i can hall 1 at a time and did so plus cook iron clean and never spend money on anything else but the house. When he said this i became very quiet, secluded and very angry. I felt all that i had i gave. He turns ands says the most ungodly and unkind thing to a person who gave "all" I feel now like i have been absent in his eyes, all these years all that i have not asked for he looks at me asif i have no value at all. I am separate in the same house but am awakening but i am old now there is no future. It is a very lonely place.
Love this story he seems such a happy man
I had 26 years, 21married. 33 sessions of counselling,now selling the house and he wrote back to me , as I have to connect for house sale. Insults , guilt tripping, wanting me to panic and respond...no way,that has all stopped, he wants his fix , he won't get it from me...
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Great interview, thanks for sharing 👏Can u direct me to the other interviews please. Iv only come across 2 so far unless that's it?
Playlist section 🌹
It’s a long term game and lots of planning. I believe most of the marriage he had his own back physically and financially.
I read that women are more passive aggressive than the men.
The silent treatments were constant.
Always ruined holidays and special occasions they take all joy away always.
Thank you Simon for sharing your story.
I was with a narcissist for 18 years. It was a roller coaster from hell. I did everything I could to bring him up and he did everything he could to tear me down. Nothing I did could make him happy, keep him loyal, stop his constant existential crisis mode which was constant, make him stop doing drugs, or even make him love me. I now see he never loved me because he can’t..he doesn’t know how to and he doesn’t love himself. He exists solely to one up everyone he knows, especially those close to him, and try and force feed lies to himself and everyone else. He lives to get high, recruit people to believe his bs, and get attention..and no amount of it is enough. He’s not completely unfortunate looking but he’s nowhere near good looking enough for me (not being conceited it is what it is) but I loved him regardless and when people asked “why” I told them he was the best friend anyone could ask for. He wasn’t even that. He simply mimicked everything I did. I started slowly finding out that he would “be” whoever he was in front of at any given moment. I then believed that the Ryan I got had to be the “real Ryan” because he spent the most time with me and kept coming back to me after every abandonment to seek out others. I had to admit recently that I’ll never know who he actually is because he doesn’t even know who he is. This is a man who thought he was gay because he couldn’t get enough attention from women and gay men are a lot easier to have fall all over you. He put me through absolute hell. I spent every bit of my inheritance supporting him and when it was gone so was he. Now this is after he didn’t want me working EVER, and swore he would take care of me when the money was gone. We were separated and he was homeless about 7 months ago and he came crawling back. I let him live with me in the camper I bought for one of his many jobs that I was forced to live in in my parents yard and used my mothers car to get him to and from a job I got him by begging a friend who was a supervisor and then we found out his mom was moving and leaving her house which was promised to both of us. I’ve been really sick with a parasite for years and finally got diagnosed and it’s an extremely expensive and long treatment..and he had insurance thru this job I got him. He also had the truck my dad gave me that he ruined as soon as he got out of prison and I was forced to sell it to him but he destroyed it more because he stays high on meth and you know what they do. Everything backwards and wrong. He told me that there was no way he would lose that job because he had me on insurance and he told me I was moving into Moms house with him because as he said “my life depended on it due to the camper being infested with the parasites making me so sick. Mind you I have a 90 percent chance of dying now. For 3 months as I’m sick and making sure he had lunches and rides to and from work he was planning on moving the nastiest and ugliest whore I’ve ever seen into the house that was supposed to be ours. Days before we were set to move he started the dumbest most nonsensical argument with me and disappeared. The next time I heard anything from him was on Facebook where he was thanking this girl for paying the electric hookup. And painting the house. She’s homeless otherwise and just using him, and they have argued more in 3 months than we did in any 3 year span of our 18 year relationship. She stays gone sleeping with anyone and everyone but him and he is completely obsessed with this woman and she looks like a 70 year old man with tween pink purple dyed hair. It’s poetic justice that someone like that can make him act as crazy as he made me act. At least I had 18 years as an excuse. He just met her and already has heard from everyone he knows that they slept with her, and that she’s staying gone to have sex with many other men. The same things he did to me. It hurts me so bad because my whole life was a lie. I really believed he was my best friend, the love of my life and sent by God. Really he was my enemy, and sent by the devil to lead me away from God. Thank God and Jesus the truth was revealed before I gave him the last thing I had of value..my soul. He’s actually possessed by demons now. I’ve been spiritually gifted since birth, and since the devil can’t take my soul he destroys all my relationships and plants bad people in my life. Upping the ante every time. Ryan’s telling people that I’m the one possessed and I talk so much about God and the spiritual world and the word of God that he can’t stand to be around me. See the problem here? It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. I still miss the Ryan I thought he was. The person I made him out to be and who he showed me out of keeping a place in my life to better use me. He sucked the life out of me. Nearly killed me. Still might. Because I’ve got so many health problems now and I’ve traced the major diseases I have including the parasite back to him. Every bad thing in my life came from him. And wouldn’t you know it? He lost his job too. Just to spite me, so that I wouldn’t have insurance and would have a way harder time of getting better. If anyone out there knows of a parasite study or a good parasite doctor in Florida please let me know. Or if you know how to get Florida Blue insurance for cheap. Right now I’m paying $500 a month. For the worst insurance ever. He’s ruined my life but I’m in the process of building it back up. If I survive all this illness there will be no stopping me. I’ll spend the rest of my days serving God, telling my story and trying to help as many as I can from going through what I have. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. And my worst enemy is Satan. Well, I might wish it on him lol.
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Love this-real talk-down to earth -true about counsellors not knowing-‘why’-because the whole foundations of education-corporations-politics ,down to how care homes are run by and benefit narcissistic systems ! So we can’t be educated on this!!! Social services also have problems-ie benefiting the narcopaths-the family court system benefit the narcopaths-the idea we have billionaires and poverty-it the winner takes it all-but its parasitical-then the poor and sick are ‘blamed’ -it’s a narcissistic society!
Wow, the lights story is crazy! I experienced this with objects, animals, whatever he could use to covertly devalue me..nuts
Thank you for sharing your story, Simone, we appreciate it. Thank you so much Paula for sharing this.
Knowledge is power indeed! We should share this knowledge to the world.