She's Over 30 And Never Had A Boyfriend, So Shermin Tries To Hack Online Dating | Shermin's March
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- Опубликовано: 9 июн 2024
- Shermin is a 30-something writer-producer who has never had a boyfriend. Armed with advice from dating experts, friends and family, she fine-tunes her online dating strategy to land her multiple first dates with different guys. But when work comes a-knocking and the amount of less-than ideal dates pile up, a burnt-out Shermin starts to feel the emotional and mental toll that aimless dating can have on singles.
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Part 2: • After 8 Months, Will S...
00:00 Meet Shermin, extremely single
02:12 What Shermin looks for in a partner
04:13 How to score a date on an app
07:47 Dating exploits: good, bad, and ghosted
12:23 Over 30 and single? What does Ah Ma think?
17:50 Getting pro-tips from relationship experts
23:24 The science of dating apps
26:19 How to appear more attractive
29:58 Dating after the makeover
33:28 Exhausting work and a drained social battery
39:50 Caring for her own mental health
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About the show: Shermin is a 30-something-year-old writer-producer who has never had a boyfriend. Armed with strategies and tips from dating experts, friends and family, she embarks on a journey to find THE ONE.
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I really felt Shermin's sadness and frustration over feeling like she's done everything humanly possible to find love. I went through what she did in a few months for 13 YEARS. Yes, you read that right. I sought for love endlessly for over a decade so you can imagine how much frustration and disappointments I faced.
Ironically after 13 years, I gave up hope and just made peace with being single. I started to date myself. Celebrated birthdays on my own, took myself on holidays. I dated myself for a year and honestly had the best time ever. Lo and behold, an old Tinder match that I'd lost contact with messaged me out of the blue. This guy and I weren't even living in the same country. I was in Bangkok and he in Singapore. 3 years later, I moved to Singapore and we got married. I was 46 and he 50 by the time we married. We don't want kids so our old age isn't an issue. We proved that it is never too late to find a life partner. Good luck to you, Shermin! 🍀🤞
congrats. although it does like a story of 2 ppl who settled for one another after looking through the whole world
@@LS-ry6ul what a back handed compliment. 😂😂 Thanks, I guess.
lower your standards. she wanted johnny depp looking and tall guy with money looking like that?
that's because you dont know what men value. and you all women place yourselves too high up the pedestal. but yea! enjoy your lonesone times and maybe a cat/dog in the future!
@@0xBasedChang show your face if you want to say something like that.
I don't often leave comments but watching this, I want to give Shermin a huge virtual hug for going through this and publicising her experience. I want to tell you (or anyone in the same situation) that you might feel like you are unlovable, but understand that this is only the journey, not the end. Your relationship status does not define you as a person.
My message to her:
Simple question, you let them have sex? Because as a man if we get that then we don't need to work for a relationship. The relationship is for you. You already gave us what we want. You're welcome and next question.
If she clicks me on the dating app, I will reject her without hesitation.
Johnny Depp? Did she mirror herself?... I think Depp has better taste.
@@christopherchiew9916your @ss!!!!!!! You being mean
its also PROJECTION she wants a guy with a successful career and states she therefore has one of the things men want@@christopherchiew9916 Some men probably do care about that but not many.
its all personal taste but i imagine she comes out as a 3/4 and wants a 10@@christopherchiew9916
Kudos to Shermin to even willing to put this in a video with CNA. JiaYou.
It's really brave for her to be on this episode.
@@wongxinhao1996scripted for all you know like all "reality" TV today.
My message to her:
Simple question, you let them have sex? Because as a man if we get that then we don't need to work for a relationship. The relationship is for you. You already gave us what we want. You're welcome and next question.
@@cooliipieis this really true about men? 😢
Be the best beauty you can be and don’t worry about those stupid men
I'm nearly 27, have been on a lot of dates, and never made it past the second date. It was refreshing seeing your story. It's so hard to know it comes so naturally to others but not to yourself. I'm working on accepting that I may not find someone and just keep focusing on myself and friends.
see you in old age home
I m 29 and never been on a date ever in my life. Dont have any gf and my hope died long way back.
Given the divorce rates on the 1st and 2nd marriages, know that most of us don't really know what it takes to keep a relationship going.
However having said that, it is the most wonderful thing ever! Good luck on your journey. Key is to keep growing yourself so you are ready when the right person comes along.
@@kamartaj3010 maybe you should first try to on one? I mean, it's unrealistic to expect to have a gf, if you don't go on any dates at all? But if you'd rather not have one, that's completely your choice of course.
My heart breaks for her. Dating is sooo hard, so I completely understand that she’s emotionally and physically drained. I honestly love how well put together she looks after her makeover, but she needs to know that she doesn’t have to look like that everyday!
My message to her:
Simple question, you let them have sex? Because as a man if we get that then we don't need to work for a relationship. The relationship is for you. You already gave us what we want. You're welcome and next question.
Dating is hard in her 30s. Ask her about the men she didn´t like in her 20s because she thought she could do better and you will have your answer.
@@alecstahl2387exactly
@@cooliipiethat's not always true. If there is a connection/fit many guys will want to keep the girl around.
@@williambraddell8052 I’m pretty sure that she wasn’t being serious. Also her date rish or something is attractive but doesn’t look like Johnny depp level. She stated many reasons why her dates int the past wouldn’t work out and none of the reasons was regarding their looks. It’s okay to have preferences, she’s not even ugly just needs work on her posture and personal style.
What a fascinating social experiment. I do really feel bad for the younger generations because online dating and social media ruined deep and authentic connections. I am in my late 30s and dating was NOT this difficult even 5 years ago. I would recommend focusing on meeting people in person based on passions and values.
In Uk I think dating was dead ages ago. Unless you had a wide circle or went to uni etc the places to meet were few like bars clubs etc.
@@lbunnygordon1133 probably the same in the US. I was in a long term relationship for a long while and then dabbled in this dating market...😬😬😬 It is scary.
Yes matching values is sooo important for longterm relationships
those avenues hardly exist in the modern age. avenues like work, school, church-- where you'd get to know someone for a while and see beyond the surface are simply less workable with each year as people get less religious, HR takes a more stern stance on romantic advances in the workplace, and idk I'm in college but even in college the avenues for meeting people and having something romantic unravel are not as common as people think. You can sit in class next to someone all semester and there might hardly be an opportunity to organically hang out and let that develop into something deeper.
so yeah, everyone is forced more into online dating with each passing year.
@@rtusiime it is really a horrible trend, indeed. The only thing I can think of is meeting though interests and volunteering...but then again, not many have the time for those things due to schooling and work.
Me too. 35 and never had a bf. I was depressed, had severe body image issues, hated everyone and everything. The moment I gave up on finding someone and accepted the fact that I'll be single forever, I started to heal. I focused on other things that I wanted, and how I can use my resources to do good things for others who can't help themselves.
With 6 cats and constantly doing TNR, I'm officially and shamelessly a crazy cat lady and I'd say I'm in a healthy mental health! Who needs men when you have a kitty to sleep on your belly every night? lol No mind games, no cheating potential, no insecurities.
Sounds like you are still full of hate lol
After married with kid, I wish to be single. Single makes me happier
35 here too, not in any relationship with 19 cats and one female pregnant dog ( family pet ) lol
@@KAKA-it6eb You never had any guy good enough that showed interest in you?
@@hippityhoppitus I bet not anyone good enough in her eyes :)
Shermin this is so relatable, as a 32 year old single, I feel your pain! Thank you for representing the joys and (mostly) misery of the 21st century dating experience, in such an entertaining and authentic way. Don't give up, you have a fantastic personality.
Its not that hard to find a good man. If you’re 30+ and single then YOU’RE the problem
Yeah don´t give up. I bet when she is 40 she will have so many more chances! She will be so much prettier, and therefore have even higher demands.
@@alecstahl2387😂😂😂 sarcasm
You should reach out to her and she if she would be interested
@@mac1bc I left a comment too soon, there's a part 2 and a happy ending! So happy for her
Kudos to CNA for tackling a social trend / issue that SG society faces, via the life / dating journey of a single woman, which makes it very much relatable & interesting.
Let’s give her the credit not a corporation
She looks the same way just without any glasses tho!
I think she should cut her hair to around just below the chin. Add some layers and volume. Make it look more modern. Glasses she can wear but change the frame. The round metal frame just doesn't go with her. A hip bright colored, rectangular plastic frame might work better. Also her teeth. Maybe get some veneer. And the way she sits, it's just not flattering.
@@thezoldics7648 lets not bring this culture in, i know , you know good enough, some girls cant handle the truth
Not everyone looks for the same things in partners. Preferences are as varied as people. @@thezoldics7648
Leaving this comment just for Shermin, because whether you are one who choose to pursue your own happiness or wanting to stay single, it's really insanely brave for Shermin to be at the center of this documentary! Not many would dare to do the same and be subjected to judgement.
Happy to see that there's many supportive and kind comments too.
Sometimes just putting yourself out there like this helps. Hopefully things work out for her.
To comfort you Shermin, i’m 33 and single since birth just like you are. I can relate to the part when you say : “Why is it so easy for other people?”
nah not true. good looking people have difficulty finding too unfortunately. its even more scary@@Ekkachai007
Looks and personality matter. There must be attraction first, only then guys ask you out to get to know you. But lots of girls who arent pretty get married too. Perhaps by dating someone who gets to know them first like colleagues
@@Ekkachai007Unattractive men should date unattractive women though
@@medstudentsarah3745 They try to, but unnattractive women don't want them. This is generally a western country problem (including SG)
@medstudentsarah3745 well why do women date unattractive men then you need two people to date
Throughout the whole video I can feel Shermin is a very interesting girl. She loves to try new things and never scares to put herself out there. And one more important thing is she is very patient, even though someone not showed up she's not very angry or say something bad about that person. These are very good traits as a person. Dating apps sometimes make people too easy to judge people by their cover, for example if they have perfect pictures or appearance. People are becoming more and more impatient to meet a new person from the app. I like this video, if guys don't watch this video will never know how kind and interesting Shermin is! Shermin was happier before she did the experiment. All the best to you Shermin!
Her problem is that she isn't physically attractive herself, but demands a tall, physically attractive, interesting, intelligent man. There's too much competition for that among attractive women. She needs to lower her standards or give up dating.
@@scottandrews947 Exactly! If she was willing to do that she would be able to find a mate pretty easily.
@@scottandrews947 she's got a ncie character, with brain.
@Y3llow_Submarin3 @Y3llow_Submarin3 watch Singles Inferno, the attractive guys would also want an attractive lady and to be attractive, you need time and effort to work on yourself, perhaps she started dating too late
Shes not interesting to the men shes after. She comes across as a longterm headache for a relationship, she doesnt even address SHE might be the problem
Another hit short documentary by CNA. Massive kudos to Shermin for putting yourself out there. The emotions are raw, genuine. It speaks to the voice inside many of us. The excitement, the fears, the confusion, the disappointment. Here, we see the echos of our minds. Thank you Shermin and CNA for this piece, once again.
Just wanted to leave a comment to applaud you for your courage to be vulnerable! Your feelings are valid and real. Rejection hurts but don’t stop believing both the inner and outer beauty that radiantly shines out of you even without make up or dressing up! This is a true cliche but the people who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter. Dating is often unfortunately about first appearances but I hope it doesn’t permanently affect how you view yourself after this experiment. All the things you go through is a process of growth, may you take away the good learnings and thrive in your relationships! Who knows, maybe after this video release you will find the one not via an app but via this video's outreach.
Her looks are modest though, so the lack of validation should indeed affect her self-assessment
appearance is everything, stop deluding yourself and everyone. If not people won't get plastic surgery/ limb lengthening
@@head0fmobYes this!!! Stop feeding us nonsense "inner beauty is everything" and false affirmations. Knowing the truth and start improving yourself is the route I would rather choose. I think if she could lose extra few weights with better clothing could make a huge difference. Just saying...
@@head0fmob people dont get plastic surgery to look better, they get it because of body dysmorphia and they rarely end up looking or feeling better.
@@xxxthatgirlxxx Their body their choice
What makes people tiring is the process of knowing and understand the person, then when you put in effort for the date, end up the outcome is not a happy ending and you have to start the whole process again😂
Ryan did the right thing by not leading her on when he has made up his mind. Meanwhile Shermin, it means that he’s not the compatible one and you are taking a step forward knowing what’s not right for you.
But she merely said she liked hanging out with him, can't they continue hanging out as friends?
@@jasg771 No one wants to hang out as "friends", especially if they don't see a chance of them becoming romantic partners.
@@logan3122depends if you have friend to hang out or not I mean if their position is similar to her, at that age a lot of your friends have partners and family, and you dont really get to just ask them out to hang out when you're bored or lonely.
Hi Shermin! I totally understand what you're going through. I went on many many dates before I met my husband at 31. Jiayou! (Btw, I've worked with you before and I think you're very real, approachable, and sweet!)
Watched both parts… very well done. Congrats to the production crew and to Shermin, Jay and the rest of the guys who were willing to put themselves out there for a thoroughly honest and engaging documentary. It could have turned out badly for them, that was the risk they took to help showcase a real, living dilemma in today’s local dating scene.
is part 2 out?
@@whitepodyes
Where to watch part 2?
Her family's advice was the best. Don't have high expectations from the start. Look for someone who can be your best friend.
Shermin is so brave to put herself through this and being authentic in showing her emotions. I wish well for Shermin! Love yourself Shermin! You don't need someone else to complete you. You are complete!If someone comes along and complements you, good! Otherwise, it's ok! You're not any less valuable
Agreed!
Women, in most cultures, are given the BS that they are nothing without being married and having kids. This is not true. You still can have a great life without being in a relationship. Not everyone has the same path in life. Rejection does not feel good no matter who you are...Don't give up!@@FerliciaOng-ul8fb
This is not bravery, at no point was her life on the line.
I love how her cousin said "remove checklist and just meet ppl". Wise ;) good luck sherms!
Thank you Shermin for bravely putting yourself out there for this! I appreciated your honesty and vulnerability even in sharing parts of your session in counselling.
shermin seems like such a pleasant, candid and funny girl! rooting for u gurl!
if brash and judgmental are considered pleasant, candid and funny, please share whatever you smoking with me
shermin is extremely unattractive. this is coming from a guy. pretty sure 90% guys feel the same way xD
“Why is it so easy for other people? Why is it so hard for me ?
There’s something wrong with me …
Do I even have a person ? … “
Totally resonated with me .
My thoughts :
There’s nothing wrong with you
Not everyone is lucky enough to find that someone
Singlehood is not a crime or punishment.
Perhaps destiny has other plans.
You can still have a wonderful life.
Glad to know you have a happy ending !
Or perhaps there is no such thing as "The One"? It may seem like others are having it easy, but in reality, being in a relationship takes a lot of compromise. Many Husbands and Wifes have their opinions on how the relationship should be heading. Those relationship that succeeded are because both parties accept each other flaws and compromise on their goals and aspirations.
Yep
You can put yourself out there but you can't control who you meet.
Not everyone will meet someone compatible.
Someone who’s willing to accept your flaws , compromise, who’ll stick it out and work things through with you . Etc ( IMO not everyone is relationship material)
Likewise you may not meet that someone you want to compromise , stick it out and work things through for.
it should be mutual.
So not everyone is lucky enough to meet that compatible someone for them who has mutual feelings and is relationship material...
Not the ONE. Just someone .
surely if two people who meet feel that they want to be with each other , they will make it work.
its a smooth and natural progression and they will overcome challenges together. I don't think you can block love once cupid has struck !
anything else are just excuses and there's no point being with someone who doesn't want to be with you, so no need to feel sad
to the comment below about looks : I've seen physically unattractive people married and good looking singles. beauties such as li bing bing, joey Wong, etc are single . lin chiling married in her 40s. its not just about looks.
I’ve read a lot of comments from men that she’s not pretty enough to date.
Someone who rated himself a 1/10 commented he won’t date Shermin. I mean she wouldn’t date you either right ? Cos aside from your looks, this mentality also reflects poorly on your maturity level ; looks like you’re ugly inside as well.
To the women , I’ll caution being with such men cos when you grow old , your looks will be gone and these men who think with their d**ks will look for someone more attractive. They will blame it on their “inherent nature“ to be attracted to pretty girls when the onus is on them to CHOOSE how they behave.
Thankfully not all men are like that.
Time to beat destiny
She may be slightly neurodivergent. Typical experiences and self accusations.
@@ProfessorElectronic That. I do believe 'the one' does exist, in a way. But as in, finding a partner that is willing to put in the work and effort needed for a good relationship, not as in finding a person that is perfect. Because we all got our quirks and flaws, and we all grow and change over the years.
Wow she is so brave to put herself out for people to look at her life. This could one of the best series! Hope she finds true love!
Would it be "brave" if the video was exactly the same but with a 30 year old single dude?
@@BalboaBaggins Yes?
You are absolutely amazing, Shermin! Don't let anyone get you down. Sometimes romance comes when you least expect it. Rooting for you ❤
It sucks when dates are late or no shows. Disrespectful whether you want to meet the person or not. I think one should be on time, if the date is not compatible, at least you would have met someone in life. To be late or no show shows a lack of character
Thank you shermin for being willing to share your journey. Im pretty much the same as you but not evening trying at all. Envy your courage! The effort you have put in definitely will not go to waste, no matter how the experiment results are. Ignore those nasty comments and dont let them defeat you. You go girl!!
Would it be "brave" if the video was exactly the same but with a 30 year old single dude?
@@BalboaBaggins ...yes?! This is not a gender specific thing. Being vulnerable is brave for anyone
Wow this is very real. Props to you Shermin for being so brave! You go gurl! Cant wait for the next episode.
Shermin has such a bright spark, and it was hard to watch her try to change herself and lose her spark. Better to be single and happy than with someone who constantly makes you feel like you need to change the way you look or behave.
Shermin, Im sure you would find your person one day!! Thanks for being in this experiment! 👍
Wow this is so relatable and real. I'm cheering for you, Shermin!!! 🤘
Can't wait for part 2. Sounds like there will be a happy ending. Appreciate you putting yourself out there. It's such an emotional roller coaster for you, I'm sure. Jia you!!!
Thanks, Shermie. You remind me that love is a journey worth embarking on, filled with surprises, self-discovery, and the resilience that resides within us all.
Thank you for putting yourself out there and being so authentic and real! So happy for you :")
Her story remind of myself before I met my husband. I download dating apps to meet guys, I had also got alots of dates, meeting relationships coach, offline blind dates. I’m happy for you Shermin, you’re so brave and kind. Happy to see you and Jay together ❤he is a sweet guy, congrats Shermin
Sherman is a trooper for going through the whole experiment. I haven’t had much experience dating but I feel in my experience that in different times in my life dating is so different from high school to early college years and now in my later twenties.
I’ve been dating my bf for 4 years now and it’s just ok. We still have issues within the relationship but overall I didn’t have much expectations whereas my bf has quite a lot but that’s ok. I see relationships as being fluid where some days are bad and others are good. Just know relationships will always be hard work on both ends.
I’m
Super brave to put yourself out there Shermin! Thanks for sharing your experience and I think this really helps a lot of other singles looking for love. ATB to you!!
The challenge with online dating is - you have to constantly keep in mind that every single person has a different emotional velocity (EV), emotional availability (EA) and appetite for emotional investment (EI). Some are new to dating, some have dated for too long, some just got out of a 10 year relationship, some just want to have fun, some just want to "go with the flow", some actually just want sex, some have trauma issues, some have trust issues...and SOME don't even know what they want.
Those who knows what they want, and are emotionally ready - end up being hurt all the time.
The queue to swipe will be endless. Which means, your subconscious will always tell your self there is always "another one" - so you don't commit to someone who's in front of you, and work on it. The challenge is to find someone that can either match all 3 EV, EA and EI OR someone willing to put some energy and work on it.
She deserves a lot of kudos for letting CNA go along with her on this journey. Wishing her every success in life and love.
Would it be "brave" if the video was exactly the same but with a 30 year old single dude?
@@BalboaBaggins yup, would have been brave as well. There's plenty of guys who find it hard to meet girls/don't have the self-confidence (that was me a decade and a bit ago). Hell, I'd be up for watching that show if Mediacorp/CNA did a couple of episodes abotu that too.
Hi Shermin!
I hope you could see all the positive comments here. You are such a brave soul to put yourself out there and subject to public pressure and scrutiny.
Thank you for sharing this and I really appreciate and love this concept, extremely relevant and relatable!
Much love from London ❤
I also hope she sees the negative comments...
@@LS-ry6ulyoure a sad person
So so relatable! Hang in there girl, your journey is inspiring me to try again too. Dating burn out is a thing that most people experience on these dating sites. Please look after yourself 💜
Frankly, dating is a bloody pain. After being single and doing the dating thing for a while, I totally understand why, in many cultures, match-making is the norm. Even if time wasn't an issue, the chances of finding someone you are compatible are incredibly slim (in the modern age). Not to mention that it's a highly nuanced field and a lot of people just aren't that good at picking up the nuances of speech, or body language or whatever it may be.
A great point that the hostess has picked up on is just how exhausting the whole process is. To have to put your "best self" forward all day every day for dating is just draining and I can see why people just don't bother to put in the effort after a while.
Anywa, I'm glad that CNA is doing this since it just highlights what the average Singaporean would go through (even if the circumstances are slightly different.) What the hostess is going through is essentially what the vast majority of single people in Singapore would go through as well.
Side note: It's also nice to know that dating apps are, indeed, skewed towards attractive people. Well specifically physically attractive individuals. No offence meant but I think that if the hostess were, say, extremely physically attractive i.e. Miss Universe/Miss World/Kpop Idol level of attractive, this show would be markedly different.
All in all, I hope there's a nice ending to this series. Good luck, mate! Wishing you the best.
14:47 the way Shermin''s Ama said it is okay for Shermin to get a guy from any race. That's a real question so many youth are scared to ask their family. Salute and love for Ama.
Such a real documentary! Thanks CNA & Shermin for producing this. At several points, it resonates with me and my girl squad (30+ year old career ladies). It shows the realities of online dating, and truth be told, this journey... One's gotta go through it and learn and grow from it. People giving advice just doesn't cut it haha. Don't give up trying! But also, it's a good era to be an independent career lady as well - life can be good either way. But do not ever let any rejections or comments make you doubt your self worth.
If you are pretty, any regrets about your decision on dating?
@John_Smith_86 Life can't be lived with regrets. I went through something similar to shermin and went on a sped up dating regime, seeing about 3 or 4 guys a week. I was so burnt out emotionally. Lucky for me, no one ever stood me up or came late, or I would've given up immediately. So, really kudos to Shermin for the good temperament!! Now I'm in a new relationship, so we'll see how it goes. Either way, I'll be happy 😊
@@averyarene9831 Lolz. Don't give up immediately, if you get stood up lah. Sometimes people like that one
super big up to you Sherms!!!! An amazing series and proud of you for not just producing such a big gig, but putting yourself on the line in the process.
in-love with this series Shermin! Super entertaining yet at the same time, thought-provoking as I reflect upon my life as a single 25-year old female. Please please continue with this series and if you ever see this comment, just remember that love will least find you when you are not looking. It's most important to love yourself, invest in yourself and everything else will just go up from there :)
She needs more realistic expectations
@@mac1bc i think we all have expectations - which are definitely something better than we have - in term of looks, finance etc etc... we will recalibrate it as times passes by , especially after multiple rejections... it is akin to job interviews --- if u want to succumb to reality or try it out until a boss knows u well and finds u a fit and see the potential of " marrying u into the company... in Shermin's case, I think she has done great in the search of love... it is realistic to be unrealistic but we need to adjust it . I think we all wont be happy to find someone u dont admire - in term of different aspects... it is real to set some criteria and Shermin did not hide it simply because she is on a show. If we relook again, Rish is rather decent looking too. But it does not mean he will be best match immediately... so let's be open and cheer her on!
@@mathonline1507 she actually ended up narrowing it down and she found someone in the 2nd video. I'm happy for her.
Shermin thank you so much!! This is taking a toll on you... Forcing things only gonna be causing you pain... But still thank you for showing us this journey
There's nothing wrong with being happily single.
Exactly!
Being single is not a problem - the problem is she has never had a boyfriend.
This video is so real. Shermin is so brave. Don’t ever change for anyone. You’re enough!! ❤
Bravo Shermin for putting yourself out there! And bravo CNA for coming up with such refreshing content, it really resonates with so many young people now!
I was like Shermin once and felt everything she felt. Don't give up Shermin, you did the best you could! Hugs! ❤
such a supportive and understanding dad 👍
Proof that social media was a mistake (or tiktok at the very least). People's brains and attention spans have rotted and they cannot stand to be uncomfortable/unstimulated for more than 2 seconds. I would hate to be a young person dating in this climate. It was never this kind of a struggle back in the day. I know friends that just met randomly in coffee shops or the train and are married with kids now. I don't see stuff like that happening with younger people glued to their phones and being in a constant state of anxiety.
Aw but tbh agree w the third coach. Be selective don't go out on random dates w people, I knew some people weren't for me but we are going out as friends and I made it clear. It took a few months of dating, getting heartbroken, stopping for a while going back, repeating, and giving some time to take a break 1year + to find my partner. Sometimes u just need to be the best version of yourself, if you are sad, stop and make yourself happy again, find a way to improve yourself and try to take it lightly. It's hard but good things take time!
Jia you 🎉🎉. Rooting for you. Good or bad a group of people like US in the the chat will be rooting!!
Im a male in SG, and I started dating for a stretch of 2 years when I was 27. I changed alot in the process, and it realllly took alot out of me. So I relate alot to this video.
It took thousands of swipes, 40 dates, 4 that went longer than 3 months, and finally, I found the love of my life. It takes time, and I would say I was really lucky. I think for many, this journey could possibly be twice as long. Hang in there everyone~
me too man, it's such a tiring process
Congrats!
That makeover was amazing! It isn't the end of the world. Don't give up hope
🙏 For all those who had been freed from toxic & abusive relationships ... Finally having one's life , respect , safety , health & freedom back are such blessings that we have took for granted in our past until we almost lost them! It's a rare blessing to find someone who is really respectful , loving , caring , mentally compatible & royal as one's life partner , but if one still haven't find the one , learning to find True Everlasting Love with the Universal Loving Kindness & Compassion with Wisdom frequencies of the Enlightened Beings are such Wondrous Experience that only those who Practice Them can understand the Experience! And they are Everlasting as compared to our worldly experiences that are only temporal & suffering in nature since everything has to go through ageing , sickness & eventual death ... 🙏 Thank You So Much Shermin & CNA for sharing these experiences to illuminate others! 🕯🌷🌿🌎💜🕊
Thank you Shermin for doing this video for all single women out there. (Especially me).I felt kinda the same way as her. Remember you are unique, pretty & cheerful personality shermin! Jiayou! Looking forward for part 2!
Actively searching for a long-term r/s esp. through data apps can be draining - time, money, emotion wise .. One has to constantly put his/her best foot forward, and it's very hard to sustain for long, and is very disheartening.. The best is to expand one's social circle esp. via sports, interest groups and and let Cupid do the rest. That kind of meet-ups are less stressful and puts us at ease.. All the best, Shermin! Look forward to part II soon :)
Only Jay's messages were so sincere & shows concern for you! Happy for yall!
Shermin is so brave for documenting and posting this! Hugs
My deepest sympathies with you Shermin, thanks for sharing your life in this video. Hope you will ultimately find your Mr Right Man.
❤❤❤
Sharing my perspective and experience. I'm male, not a looker, probably fails most females criteria in the looks department. I tried very hard in the beginning and no results. Went on too many dates, and many times did not even result in a 1st date. Until I gave up and stopped trying too hard. Weird thing is, that's when I met someone and getting married after 5 years of friendship. In my case, not over-trying probably made me look less desperate and able to be my authentic self and being patient allowed us time to know each other better and develop our relationship. Matters of the heart, can't be rushed. And of course, can't have unrealistic expectations.
@@Ekkachai007 😄😄😄😄
But you got money or not?
@@Ekkachai007 don't need to trip someone who is already down all is life dude...
@@John_Smith_86 I'm not rich. Neither am I poor.
@@maleman67 Hmm. Then I am guessing your partner is not super attractive then. Not exactly... a Cinderella story
Hugs 🫂 to you Shermin. I totally understand the feelings you shared at the end. I am 41, single and yet to be married or start family. I am also facing the same challenges of finding someone for life. It is very tiring when you keep trying with each day but I would rather keep the hope alive than let it go. Thank you for being vulnerable with your journey. I wish you were close so I could give you a proper hug. This journey knows no race. I am an African woman in the UK 🇬🇧 and I have shed the very same tears you have shed.
Go Shermin! Rooting for you so hard!!
Hey there ! Don’t cry ! I’m 36 still single .. it’s not as if I did not try looking too ! .. I did !.. I encountered the same issues as you .. stay positive.. don’t look too actively be yourself know more people .. start as friends .. at the end of they day we all start as friends .jia you !
Very good episode. Shermin, be yourself and don't give up.
The last section of the video brought me to tears. Shermin, I can't wait to watch what will happen next. Go, girl!
Hats off to CNA for creating these incredibly authentic videos. I love how the guys she talks to (like @23:30) are like saying "sorry no you're too ugly for me" in some incredibly stupid and awkward ways. In all seriousness, it's remarkable how the disparity between someone being conventionally attractive and not hinges on their mastery of makeup techniques and camera angles. There is also a non-trivial difference between "no one likes me" and "no that that I like likes me". Many would believe and say the former even though the latter is most often the truth.
It would be fantastic if CNA could produce a similar video from the perspective of an average male, depicting the challenges faced when engaging in online dating. A year of effort, 2000 right swipes, only 5 matches, one date that ends in a no-show, multiplied over the course of 5 to 10 years, can indeed lead to feelings of isolation and frustration. This phenomenon has been aptly termed a 'silent epidemic,' signifying the growing numbers of lonely men in both the UK and the US, accompanied by a worrisome increase in male suicides.
hang in there shermin, i watched the whole thing and could really feel you. there is absolutely nothing wrong with you in fact i wanna be ur friend!!!!
If there is truly nothing wrong with her she would have been hitched
Feels like she only looks up, and not able to compromise on that. Like the guy told her, hypergamy is a problem, and she looks for man with success and money. That is not going to end well for her.
Staying single is the best ; less stress more happiness less responsibilities..you dont ve to please another person & his family..so carefree so good
Terrific series. Thank you Shermin, Rish and Jay! You're all terrific young people.
Shermin you are so courageous to go on this journey/ experiment; do realize that you only feel all those difficult feelings intensely because you were courageous enough to do this in the first place.
great documentary! keep up the great work shermin and CNA! 💪🏻 not easy to put yourself out there and in a documentary
okay we NEED part 2 like ASAP
Really good level-headed advice from her family!
the best from cnainsider video ever. kudos to shermin. you have brought a lot of items to light. Thank you for shedding light on the dating culture in Singapore
Shermaine has a super interesting and great personality! Really happy that she found love and she’s so brave to have bared her soul on National 📺. Enjoyed this series and keep it up CNA!!
Would it be "super interesting and great personality" if the video was exactly the same but with a 30 year old single dude?
lol he personality is as interesting as dish water
Thank you for your transparency. You are not alone. I am 40 but never had a bf….
This is such a great documentary. I'm loving it!
this is so refreshing to see on CNA. Keep these types of content coming!
Thank you Shermin for doing this experiment, it was a really good show and definitely reflected the essence of modern dating!
My message to her:
Simple question, you let them have sex? Because as a man if we get that then we don't need to work for a relationship. The relationship is for you. You already gave us what we want. You're welcome and next question.
Can’t wait to see the next episode!
Saw a comment here saying how she'd lose her sparkle whenever she tried changing herself. That's so true. In the end, that's not the person your partner will be seeing. Gotta be yourself.
I want to give Shermin a big hug. It takes alot of courage to be public and wanting to take a big step in finding a partner. It's not easy. I really love how naturally funny she is. She definitely has personality. One key advice (that no one asked) would be: be comfortable in your own skin so that things feel authentic to you. Don't force yourself into a mould to fit superficial standards. Don't be so hard on yourself, Shermin. Good things takes time. Wishing her all the love, patience and peace. Chin up Shermin! From one girl to another: YOU GO GIRL, YOU GOT THIS!!!
you are fine on your own and you don't have to push yourself to find one within a short window. The right one will come when you are not expecting it.
One of the best documentary shows from CNA. Watched both episodes and really enjoyed them. Should do one about a single guy too.
Excellent shows pt1 n pt 2 ! It's gonna help singles get hope again !!😊
This is too relatable to me, Shermin. Hugs all around 🫂🩵
I can still remember, I am 30 now and soon 31, when I was in school, I got bullied because I never had a date or a boyfriend. With 23 I got my first boyfriend and oh boy that was mistake. I managed to get out of the relationship this year and it showed me that I am so much more happier on my own (but have 2 kids now) and I literally can't imagine of being in a relationship ever again.
@@KeQiang76 two things I mind: spamming here every woman, you telling them different stories. One woman you wrote your wife died, to me you said she found someone else. Other thing I mind, the age gap, you are clearly 10+ years from my age, if that is true that you are over 40, way too much
I’m so invested!
Your smile and positive energy is wonderful
Shermin, the feelings are so relatable.
I think the thing about dating app is just that it gives the impression that that there are so many choices and people could just move from one to the next easily. Its not easy to find someone who cherishes the mutual chemistry and sees possibilities out of it, with the courage to give things a try. Hello, its not like signing our remaining lifespan away what. Whether things work out depends on communication and how both parties grow alongside each other, its not something that can be determined on a few dates. The initial stage is more like to assess mutual chemistry and whether the person is "okay"/non-toxic or not.
When she said that the person her friend introduced look like a father of three and criticised him, I was shocked. She's not exactly looking young herself. If I didn't know I would have thought she's a mother of a secondary school kid already.
Gurl, I don’t know you. But I love you. You’re so brave for doing this. It’s legit tough out there but you’re better than those ashy guys. How they treat you doesn’t define who you are!!!
Are you stupid. Just because guys reject a girl, they're ashy? So I assume you have not rejected anyone before?
sending the biggest hugs to you Shermin, you are so loved and dont ever think ure not enough!! your relationship doesnt define you 🩷
I am in a similar situation as you, Shermin. I have also tried dating apps but it feels so tiring. Now I only swipe when I'm bored, lol. Anyway, I feel like I need to fix myself first before dating so I will take my time on that.
Perhaps this documentary is making you even more stressed to find a partner within a short period of time, so please go at a comfortable pace! Don't stress yourself out! How to be yourself if you're so stressed out?
All the best Shermin~~ 😊
Same like me lol 😂