I've come to accept that I'll start a million projects and not finish them RIGHT AWAY but I generally do work on them again eventually. Letting go of timelines and those expectations help a lot. My hyperfixations like to take rotations and I just roll with what I want to do in the moment. Completely busted my constant paralysis and I'm more prolific than I've ever been.
I've discovered this too and it works great for my gardening and crocheting hobbies, even business projects (I run my own business). I'm actually more productive in the long run this way. I don't stick to a housecleaning routine but I'll get the motivation to clean out the fridge or shampoo the couch. The cycling around projects and chores means that things are balanced in the level of order, the chaos keeps from getting out of control even though it's not perfect
I chuckled at this because I had taken the same pottery class every two years without intention. The third time I went, he laughed and said, "I thought you should be coming in soon." Haha I rotate the same 27 hobbies that are all adjacent in web like way.
I had to do a lot of work as an adult to disentangle morality from sleep bc I grew up in a home that very strongly believed waking up early was objectively "good" and sleeping in was objectively "bad". I still have a lot of trouble viewing when I wake up in the morning as morally neutral as long as it doesn't interfere with my personal and professional obligations.
I was 41 when I got my diagnosis of ADHD. I was 57 when an offhand comment about my neurodivergence slapped me in the face and suddenly I was seeing everything differently. The weird things I’ve done and said all my life made sense at last. Dealing with ADHD, bipolar depression, and generalized anxiety is challenging. Plus I left a high demand religion 12 years ago, and ended a 27 year marriage 4 years ago. So there’s so much crap just running around in my head. Some days I feel invincible, and other days, like today, I burst into tears when one of my power anthems comes up on shuffle. Thank you so much for being here and doing what you do. It truly helps.
I was diagnosed at 20 ish and it was already so challenging to unpack all the things I didn‘t understand about myself in childhood. I have so much respect for nd people who discover their neurodivergence a lot later in life. I wish you all the best!
Someone on RUclips mentioned that a common symptom for autism in women is that they have been ( mis)diagnosed with bipolar in the past. You might want to look into this, just saying...
I've also changed calling "exercise" to "active meditation" or "zoomies time" because a, for whatever reason the labeling makes me feel less paralyzed by it and b, having a set aside time to run around and let my brain roam on whatever it wants to think about helps me focus more throughout the day as well as labeling it as a health activity makes me judge the thoughts a lot less and feel productive. I'm trying to do this practice a lot more organically where if I notice myself pacing or hyperfocused on something, instead of trying to pull myself out of it and being critical of myself for it, I'll go for a walk and let the thoughts continue. It's still really difficult because I still struggle with judging myself and "what I should be doing right now" but giving my thoughts the freedom and space to exist more than before has been really helpful.
I started going to the gym, for many different reasons, and you know, it is always a struggle to actually leave my room and enter the gym space, but once I do I feel like I have like WON something, against myself. And once I leave, I feel so good. And now, since I have discovered that is practically necessary for ADHDers to exercise, I realized it IS a mental health necessity. So, because I live with my family I often hear: “well, you don’t have to workout everyday, come have lunch with us etc. Stay and watch some tv etc” And I just say to myself: No, I have to go, is for my mental health. And that has been working out fine :)
I am neurodivergant, I was diagnosed with severe ADHD. It literally says on my records severe. I had trouble throughout my life because of it. I was struggling. I went through so many therapists, thinking it was just anxiety & and a learning disability. At the age of 40 I had gotten insomnia, it was awful, but it led me to see a neurologist and a psychologist. Between both of them, & series of tests, I had gotten the diagnosis of severe ADHD. The psychologist suggested highly therapy & medication. He said it is your choice if you want to take the medication. The reason why I suggest to you is because it is severe. It is not a cure all but along with therapy it is a tool, to help. So I did I started therapy, and medication. It changed my life. Believe me I felt hopeless, even before the insomnia. My life was on the upswing. It's funny people notice & and they thought I was taking an antidepressant, or some type of an anti-anxiety medication. Because they comment on how come I was. Hell I can sit and not jump up every 5 mins. Then my husband after 25 years lost his job. This man lost his insurance that paid for my psychologist. Then I get laid off from my job. I could no longer afford a psychologist. Because of money I had to stop therapy and my medication. At first I was handling it okay. Then after about seven months I felt myself spire right right back where I started from. I seen my family physician. I was devastated and mortified. I had asked if I go see a therapist (they cannot prescribe) and if the therapist, can you work with he or she for the medicine? I had gotten a letter for my psychologist confirming I was diagnosed with ADHD and need to continue therapy and medication. My doctor said rudely I don't deal with pseudoscience of ADHD, no I don't even need to see your records. Don't ask again. When I left I was devastated I spiraled into a major depression. I got a notebook of tips, it doesn't help. I need actual therapy. Because I don't have money I can't get it. In this country you're only allowed to be sick or have mental health issues if you have money if not oh well you don't matter.
The ADHD meds are super helpful however I know 2 people in my life who developed high blood pressure and migraines from using them and had to stop so it's definitely not without side effects.
@@magentatime Seconded!! Please get a new primary care doctor, OP, if you haven't already-I'm sure there's one out there that will take you and believe you!
How horrible... I can relate to your struggles a lot. I was diagnosed at 30. I also lost health insurance this year and I haven't been able to get back on meds & in therapy since then. The ADHD med shortages didn't help, I tried for months this year even with insurance to find a pharmacy that had my medicine in stock and they refused me. Our medical system is a nightmare, especially when you have mental health problems which make it difficult to stay persistent in seeking help. I hope we both figure out a way through this mess. It's not fair. My heart goes out to you and everyone else stuck in this situation. 😢❤️
Another one to add is that marijuana affects adhd a lot! It makes executive function and memory more difficult, especially if you use often. This isnt to say everyone should quit, especially if you use it for medical purposes, but it is something to be informed about. Personally my autism gives me more issues than my adhd, so it's a valid trade for me
This is currently my biggest achilles heel. I know it makes my brain foggier but I still like doing it. I’ve just cut it down to a once a week at most typa thing
Good example. Designating a safe space and time at home for that activity is one way to avoid or lessen the impact of social or executive function side effects. 👍
Yeah, I've found that it's a good "off switch" which sometimes is very much needed. But it's a hard off switch. I reserve it for only before bed or for when I'm about to have a melt down. The really unfortunate thing about ADHD is that it has a high comorbidity rate with other psychiatric disorders. So sometimes it feels like you're miserable at x2 speed. It sucks. Being unable to stop hyperfocusing on things that are upsetting feels like being ground down into a paste. It might not be the healthiest coping strategy, but I'd rather be stoned than feeling suicidal for hours on end.
There is also preliminary data that suggests that stimulant medication can adversely interact with marijuana in the form if heart strain. Most commonly, this takes the form of palpitations and irregularities on heartbeat but has also been associated with heart attack. So DO NOT USE MARIJUANA if you still have your stimulant medication in your system
Such a valid point! I find I have to cut myself off from smoking weed entirely because "only on weekends" turns to "also Friday" and then "Thurs is practically the weekend" .... and I'm smoking every day and not even feeling the high.
I just want to try to emphasize how important the sleep thing is. For as long as I can remember, I have never slept well. I'm the kind of person who just got so used to it that I'd seem completely normal on day three of not sleeping. Being constantly exhausted and having no energy was just, normal for me. Whenever I'd try to tell someone about why I couldn't sleep, they'd tell me I was probably seriously anxious as "I will lay in bed for 6 hours trying to fall asleep but I can't stop thinking" sounds like someone worrying over things to neurotypicals. When I got diagnosed with ADHD at the end of last year, I finally had the language to describe what was happening to me and the actual cause. My psychiatrist recognized that typical sleep hygiene and common sleep medications weren't going to be enough for me, and got me onto some low doses of a more unusual drug. It did take some tweaking to get the dose right but now that we have... holy shit it's that same "Wait, this is how everyone else gets to feel all the time?" realisation that you get the first time you take ADHD meds that work for you. Turns out, you don't have to be constantly fucking exhausted all the damn time and wow does it feel good. Having all this energy that I didn't have before helps so much with managing my ADHD because I'm not trying to fight both it and exhaustion just to start basic tasks. It helps so much. Hell, before we got this sorted, I could barely get out of bed in the morning. I'd lay there for hours just trying to work up the initiative to get up, and then I'd find that used all my energy so I did... nothing but doom scroll all day. tl;dr please please please try to address any sleep issues you're having if you can, including asking for medical help. I know not everyone is in a position to do so but, even little things can still help your overall wellbeing.
That’s super interesting! If you are comfortable saying so, what type of medication did your psychiatrist suggest? I want to talk to my psychiatrist on sleep issues and insomnia and see if what worked for you could work for me.
@@dr_slytha Sorry, I uh never saw the notification for this >> But my psychiatrist put me initially on quetiapine 25mg. While the relief from finally being able to sleep was huge and I felt so much better, at this dosage it was sedating me in the morning. Meaning I'd be completely unable to wake up for about 2-3 hours after my alarm went off. Not great. I've found halving those 25mg tablets stops that sedation effect for me (at my psychiatrist's suggestion of course). How effective the dose is does depend on my stress levels too - in some times of particularly high stress, I need 100mg to be able to sleep. It is worth noting that quetiapine doesn't make me feel sleepy - it simply makes me fall asleep quickly. So if I lose track of time I might stay up until 4am without meaning to. My psychiatrist has been concerned about this and has been trialling some other meds but, I haven't found any that have helped me sleep yet. So it's a work in progress. I also really need to highlight that quetiapine is an antipsychotic drug - it is being used off label for me. From what I understand, the clinical evidence for it's effectiveness treating insomnia is limited, and there are concerns around adverse side effects even at very low doses. For whatever reason, it works for me and outside of feeling too sedated, I haven't had any noticeable side effects from it. So, I think if you've been struggling to sleep for ages and everything else hasn't worked for you, it can be worth asking your psychiatrist about. But do keep in mind that I might just be some weirdo who lucked out with it, and it might not be suitable for you. But I think it can be worth trying with your psychiatrist's permission and oversight.
@@sarah.s.flanagan Sorry to hear you're so damn tired, that can be rough, especially when you're just starting out on the whole diagnosis/treatment journey. But I'm glad to hear you're feeling a bit hopeful from what I said. Dunno if this helps you but, over the past couple months I've found out that my iron levels also played a big role in how tired I was feeling. Addressing that has also made a big impact on my energy levels and my ability to just, function. My stimulant meds feel like they work better when I have the energy to follow through on tasks basically. So, if you're feeling exhausted all the time, it might be worth double checking since it makes a difference (especially if there's other things compounding how tired you are), and stuff like this is super easy to treat.
tip 1:40 tip 2 4:24 tip 3 6:40 tip4 10:10 tip5 12:40 Thanks for making the transitions long so we could reference them and see where they are! Added this to my ADHD playlist to rewatch.
@@irradiated_woman8016 I just made it public for you! : ) I love Mickey since she has ADHD too. I definitely recommend Dr. Huberman's takes(altho long as he's a Neuropsych). Dr. Gabor Mate also has a bit different take on ADHD. Also - I have some good meditation playlists. Meditation centers around training focus and relaxing so that's helped me massively. ruclips.net/p/PLjIai2Rt3a-PqNAYEwi_mVM9zoXtdShML
Mickey... why did it take 26 years for me to get diagnosed when I would TELL THEM these exact problems??? They would keep saying, "It's probably depression." ... so let's HEAL my depression before finding out if it's ADHD?! Not even a year ago, I went to a new doc, he said the same thing. In frustration I said, "Or maybe I'm DEPRESSED because I have ADHD and I feel like I'm about to get fired and I feel like a constant failure!" He seemed to not have realized before that it could work that way. I am on medication now, and FINALLY feel like I can think! (I'm still not always perfectly focused, but at least I can think FAR more effieciently.) So why do doctors try SO HARD to deny us the diagnosis and medication we need to function? 26 years of absolute hell!
Lol the sleep is forever elusive and I know part of it is if I could stick to a routine would be good and I really try to and part of it is I just always slept really good in the day and my body just wants to but I can’t
Ok, look, there was no need to call me out THIS HARD from the past on my screen time, especially right before bed. 😂 Love that you dont shy away from the occasional swear, btw, it feels less sanitized hearing a pro talk like normal people around me.
I can confirm that saying things outloud will prevent you from wasting a ton of gas from having to turn back and check the stove, locks, etc. Thanks for always seeing us, Mickey!! * LOCKED LOCKED LOCKED * * OFF OFF OFF *
I'm neurotypical, but I have a frontal lobe brain injury that causes my mind to function a lot like I'm neurodivergant. I'm relating pretty hard to this video. Thank you!
neurodivergent just means any brain that diverges from the norm- a frontal lobe injury definitely qualifies! however you of course don't have to use the neurodivergent label if it doesn't feel right to you.
Ooh! Sorry if this is weird but that is really neat-i have read about the types of brain injuries that mimic ADHD, it isn't all together uncommon, and this research has really helped our understanding of ADHD. I believe Russell Barkley (basically THE MAN, top adhd researcher and educator for decades) talks about these injuries and his stuff is always great to read/listen to. There's a recommendation in that, but I'm also saying that you and folks like you are completely 100% legitimate in identifying with adhd/ND stuff and tips and content. You belong in the "club," if you want to be. The lines between this type of brain injury and ADHD that we're born with can actually get pretty blurry anyway. Eg i don't know for sure that i didn't have a TBI as a child that went unrecognized and created or worsened my ADHD. I don't _think_ that happened, but being that i was an active, impulsive, clumsy child I _did_ bonk my head plenty... So who knows! _one of us. one of us. one of us._
@@ethevillagecryptid2293 Interesting! I had read that"neurodivergent" applied only to people born with atypical brain function, but if y'all say I'm in the club, I'm happy to be in it! I'm glad to hear that I haven't been wrong in seeing so much of myself in neurodivergent creator's content! 🥳🎉
@@irradiated_woman8016 I majored in psychology with a concentration in neuroscience in college. So I think lesion studies are super cool too! Thanks for the validation. I'm part of the club!!! 🎊
@@binglemarie42Fun fact: PTSD is also considered to be under the neurodivergent umbrella, since it affects the frontal lobe (?) development. It can cause symptoms similar to ADHD, as well as it's own unique symptoms
the first thing about efficiency is so real. crazy how many times I dont do any cleaning because I keep thinking of other tasks first and suddenly I cant clean because I need to do yoga and then take a shower and get dressed and take out the trash before I can vacuum- a task which takes like 20 minutes.
It's been six years since my diagnosis and I am learning for the first time that my obsession with efficiency is part of my ADHD. 🤯 I'm also cracking up about the talk about "future me" is how I've been thinking about this for YEARS. PROTIP: hang all your clothes. Folding laundry has been the bane of my existence so everything is hung.
My current phone allows me to set it to go grey scale on a schedule, and I've found that really useful as a sign that it's time to stop doing high energy screen things and switch to reading or music, do my journal, and start my bedtime things. Well worth a try!
I say things out loud CONSTANTLY. Especially green light if I see a green light. It's like an automatic/subconscious function when I'm on autopilot driving.
Excessive screen time causing a lowered tolerance for low stimulation is an interesting perspective. I've actually never heard this before! I've noticed that I've become addicted to listening to RUclips videos or podcasts during the day. Since this has become a habit, I've noticed that I feel much more restless when I don't have something to listen to and I'm alone with my thoughts. It causes problems for sure.
Same! I listen to podcasts when I cook breakfast, do my makeup, clean up, cook dinner. I didn't realize why until now. 80% podcast 20% RUclips videos... Definitely working on less screen time now
My husband calls my very specific morning/evening routines my "Goldilocks brain", and he is so right. Everything has to be "just right" or my whole day/night is completely knocked off course.
I've been doing most of this, but to be honest, I'm super happy to know that I'm on the right track! My ADHD seems to be minor (enough that I didn't get diagnosed for some time) but when combined with anxiety and depression it can cause issues. Still, every time I learn more about ADHD, I'm just like, "huh, that's why". (The door locked thing I didn't know was related to ADHD so I was so happy to know where that came from! I get so much anxiety about whether I've locked doors.)
Pausing right at the beginning. As an ADHDer I well and truly feel like I need to address this. Social Media apps, and ESPECIALLY tiktok, are designed to prey on quirks in the way human attention spans work. These quirks are far more pronounced in many inattentive/combination type ADHDers. If you can moderate your usage, that’s great, but if you’re struggling PLEASE consider uninstalling these apps. I don’t even go fully without social media! I reinstall facebook and reddit about once a week and go on them for an hour or so, or I go on the computer to use them. I uninstall them when I’m done because otherwise when I’m at all bored the first thing I do is crack the apps open and dissociate into a stream of dopamine hits. With tiktok though, once I’d been away from the app for a couple weeks I became disgusted at how preyed-upon I felt. I missed some of the creators I’d become lose internet friends with, but ultimately it helped my dissociation issues SO much. Even youtube’s shorts aren’t as bad because the algo isn’t so aggressively predatory. This also goes for phone games. Please always keep in mind that these platforms literally target us. ADHDers make up a large % of the “whales” in p2w games that spend their life savings on microtransactions. Stay safe and please don’t let yourself scroll your life away.
It's so interesting to see how the brain can compensate for a number of problems. I have "memory deficits" due to having a diagnosed dissociative disorder (DID/OSDD). These tips work just as well for me, even though the cause of my divergence is different. ❤
I purposely never downloaded TikTok, IG or Twitter. Having shorts on YT is actually a problem. And I've considered deleting my Facebook, as that's where I tend to doomscroll. I've always had horrible sleep, and nightmares. I'm at the point of needing help, as I believe I may be au-adhd, but access is really hard. Even committing to try find help is hard.
I am so glad you called yourself a chaos gremlin at the end! I found that my friends who I felt most akin to we all have been diagnosed in the last 5 years. We are all women in our thirties who have graduate degrees. I think that we bonded because we recognized our brains work similarly but not to the public (neurotypical). We often called our adventures shenanigans but chaos gremlins would have worked just as well!
The saying stuff out loud reminded me of how in Japan, some train workers use a system called 'point and call". When they go through their duties they will point at what they're looking at and say what they're checking out loud. So they'll point at the speedometer and say the speed out loud, or will point along the platform edge and say "clear" out loud. It was found to reduce accidents and mistakes and helped them remember events more accurately in case there was an incident. I have started doing this and OMG it helps so much, especially if i'm doing a task out of order or if my task can't be paused but I need to do something else like take my meds. It feels a little silly at first but it really does help a lot.
As a woman, society has done its best to program me to apologize for being loud or big or excited/emotional or having something to say, and it took me years to break that mindset and take up space. Being ADHD comes with a lot of the same treatment by NTs, and it is no different. You have the right to exist and be yourself if you’re not hurting others, and their convenience and comfort are not sufficient cause for hurting yourself by masking constantly to try to fit into a world that doesn’t make room for anyone different.
8:39 YES! Saying or sing-songing what I’m doing is EXTREMELY helpful. It “ensures” (as much as possible) that I’m fully present for what I’m doing. For example: in the evenings I set out mine and my partner’s meds (we’re getting old so meds are a big part of our daily routine 😂) I open my pill sorter and sing-song “These my meds. I’m putting my meds in the yellow cup” and then repeat the same steps for my partner all the while sing-songing “these are X’s meds. His meds are in the blue cup” It works and I haven’t accidentally messed up our meds since. Woot!
Singing helps me. People pass by at work and know I'm doing something I'm focusing on and don't want to them to interrupt me while singing. I sing what I'm doing. A doctor asked me to look for a methadone form, me- "methh a doooone form ohhh. I'm looooking for the methadone formmmm." The pitch changes when I really really don't want to be interrupted or extremely consumed lol.
I didn't even say ok. That was my response. That's 60% my responses. Song. I think it has to do with the vagus nerve. But I give myself full credit for showmanship. I thought it was a phase. Andy from the office makes me feel understood.
When I figured out the best trick for turning off my brain and falling to sleep quickly, my life was changed. I put in an earbud and listen to a show or movie that I have memorized. It engages my brain just enough to keep my mind from racing but I don’t have to pay so much attention that it keeps me from falling asleep. Puts me out like a light. I recently watched Kit Harrington from Game of Thrones describing this exact method on a podcast where he talked about his ADHD diagnosis.
Mickey, I almost teared up with gratitude. ❤ I feel so seen. I am 43 and finally realizing how important it is that I recognize the fact that I have undiagnosed adhd and also ptsd, and to reframe how my brain works. I work every damn day to tell her that we are not lazy. We are not stupid and we are just different. "Neurodivergent" has been such a gift- a healthy replacement for "lazy" as was instilled in me as a child. I also believe that I have dyscalculia, but that's another antidote. 😊 anyway, thank you from the bottom of my weird loving little freak heart for speaking about your experiences and your education on this topic. It helps me love myself more and I know it helps others too. You're the best.
Love the vid! For most of my life I thought I was neurotypical but just vibed with a lot of neurodivergent experiences. I was born with cerebral palsy and an MRI a few years back for a different issue showed a literal void in one hemisphere of my brain. So I was this many years old when I realized that I actually AM neurodivergent, and feel less weird about using all the ADHD and ND hacks to help me function (which I know is silly, because the curb effect is real and good and me yanking off my cupboard doors so I can see my dishes isn’t taking resources from other people, but again - BRAIN WEASELS).
I would love a chat about OCD. I relate a ton to people with ADHD because it comes from the same area of the brain and symptoms do overlap... But there are differences too. I'm currently struggling with my tasks because of that perfectionism that can come with OCD. I get stuck in my "shoulds" and then feel like I'm not doing anything well. How to manage being a spouse, parent, employee, etc when there is no way to feel like it's balanced because my brain thinks I need to be all the things to all the people. I would love to convince my spouse that it's worth it for me to quit my part time job but the things that feel important to me are not important to them.
This is not related to the video, but I wanted to say I watch your channel as a pick-me-up between therapy sessions. Your stuff always has something practical to take away or something I need to be reminded of. So thanks for what you do!
Edited for clarity as I don't want to send the message that I think this is therapy/substitute. I have a longer timeline on my therapy visits for financial reasons and Mickey always delivers great info in an easy to understand format.
I wish that discussions of "screen time" were more nuanced. I think I know the feeling you're talking about, and different kinds of screen time seem to impact it differently. Spending 2 hours scrolling on tik tok is different than spending 2 hours drawing on my tablet, which is different than spending 2 hours writing code, etc. This isn't really a criticism of you, more of the way screen time is discussed (and perhaps researched) in general.
I wonder if different apps can be called "passive screen time." As much as I love Instagram and looking at friends' posts on Facebook, I know it's passive and I can get sucked in.
Very much so. It's just a tool, which can be used for good (coding, writing, music editing, video editing, art, AutoCAD, etc etc etc). It can be a tool for time wasting too. But a huge difference.
I'm ADHD and I'm going through some task orientated issues that some friends are trying to help with at the moment and I actually just linked this video to them because I'm trying to explain to them what I'm going through and why what they are suggesting isn't working. Point 1 is exactly what I'm dealing with at the moment. ADHD is like a super power that you can't point in any one direction (I really wish I could pick my hyper focuses lol) but if you can get it trained on something productive, then we could make the world such a better place.
Saying stuff out loud is so helpful! I had a really wonderful Spanish teacher in high school, and he used verbal repetition a lot in learning pronunciation and new grammatical structures/words. The way he described it was “your ear remembers better than your brain” or something along those lines). To this day, whenever I speak with native speakers, they’re surprised at how good my pronunciation is and I attribute most of that to this trick. I’m going to start using it more like Mickey does in the video- to help remember important things!
So helpful! Any chance you would be willing to make a video about parenting when you as the adult have ADHD? It seems like there are TONS of resources these days for parenting children with neurodivergencies, but not much for if you’re a neurodivergent new parent and are drowning every second of every day 🙃
Your description of task paralysis is so relatable!! Doing anything less than the most efficient way possible is going to feel like doing it wrong, and if I can’t do it right, why bother? That’s not what my rational thoughts say, but it’s what ends up ruling my life.
Recognising that this is a relatively niche need, I wonder if you'd ever consider trying to offer ADHD coping tips that are compatible with PDA (pathological demand avoidance) since that neurotype kind of precludes a lot of the typical advice for ADHDers. ☺️ Thanks for your channel and your work regardless!
my hack for limiting screen time is to buy a real alarm clock!!!! buying an old school alarm clock got rid of my last excuse to have my phone in my bedroom and i now leave my phone in the kitchen to charge at night so it's not near my bed. putting the phone on the charger in the evening is a nice trigger for 'it's now time for the bedtime routine', it helps me prioritize better sleep hygiene habits, and it prevents me from scrolling before i fall asleep AND prevents me from scrolling as soon as I wake up. keeping the phone away from your brain and eyeballs during sleep time also helps with quality of sleep/sleep hygiene too! i also recommend removing the super addictive apps from your phone (facebook, twitter, tiktok whatever) and only using them on desktop. the desktop interface is almost always clunkier and therefore less addictive to our stupid human brains. i find myself naturally using those apps less frequently and for a shorter duration of time even though i put no restrictions on my usage beyond taking them off my phone.
"Trust what you need". Man, I didn’t think about this much before, but this can be such a massive source of shame in addition to all the other things neurodivergent/ADHD folk are shamed for consistently. My degree is quite demanding and so there’s tons of information constantly thrown my way. Through the years I’ve learned what works for me but I’m still not perfect and I make mistakes often. One day when I stayed after a lab to ask our demonstrator about the notes I had made he said to my face, "You shouldn’t be writing that, that’s just something you should remember for later." I was so upset I couldn’t even talk and had to leave so I wouldn’t cry. I wish people understood better.
Limiting screen time is HARD but its so useful. Ive got app time limiters on twitter now, and I deleted tiktok a while back for my mental health. i find other things to do. i cant trust myself to NOT go into those comments and doom scroll but when I KNOW i have a limited amount of time to work with in the back of my head that helps me make better decisions on how I engage with twitter. Also I should try doing the "say it out loud" thing when I take my meds because I can have the bottle open in front of me, get distracted, then not remember whether i took them or not asdfasdfasd
The efficiency thing has absolutely floored me. I've described this problem pretty much in those exact words with those exact thoughts and I felt so alone in it and thought I was just so stupid. it's caused me so much suffering when i have to do things independently and make decisions (basically every aspect of life 😅) thank you so much for putting this into words and giving me something to hold onto whenever i start spiraling about efficiency and the correct order of things
That first thing is so nice to hear. The piece of advice I hate absolutely the most is "work smarter not harder." What if you don't know what smart is? What if you don't feel like you can intentionally make your work more efficient, and the only thing you can do is work longer and harder to get the same thing done as other people? Second I could feel when I gave up most streaming for lent. It felt great but now I feel like I need a "detox" again after a few months past Easter. I heard low dopamine mornings are nice, and I have found the same. It's what sets me up for a productive day.
I really needed video especially since I’m starting a new job and I am unable to access my meds due to the shortage. There was so much kindness and compassion in this video and it’s exactly what I needed (well that and hopefully meds become available again soon lol.)
@@saraleigh5336 Ty! I was finally able to get them thanks to my psychiatrist sending it to a third pharmacy. I hope this supply issue gets resolved soon.
I’ve had a lifelong motto: doing something badly is always better than doing nothing. (Ok, maybe there’s a caveat if it messes with safety of any kind). But it has never stopped being hard to persuade people that if you let me iterate I’ll get the same amount or more done than someone else-it just looks messy. I have to accept the judgement and that people will turn around once I’m done. But yes. It will be ever. Single. Time.
Oh my goodness yes! This! All of this! I frequently have a hard time with transitioning from evening rest time to "getting ready for bed time" at night because it not just go take a shower and go to bed for me, it's: 1) Get off the couch. 2) Take my medicine. 3) Go into the bedroom. 4) Take all of my clothes off. 5) Put the dirty clothes in the hamper. 6) Put the 'can be worn again' clothes on the shelf as well as a new shirt/socks for the next day. 7) Take off my hearing aids and glasses. 8)....and on and on and on until I am in bed and turning out the lights... It's so exhausting...
Thank you so much for putting words to my struggle, offering suggestions and validating that some of my weird "fixes" are helpful for others too. It's not my imagination
Dunno if this will help anyone, but the biggest thing that's helped me with reducing screentime is putting on music or a podcast. It gives that background stimulation, and having that along with screens becomes too much so I tend to turn the screen off on my own without thinking about it
Also if you need to do something on a screen and tend to get distracted, speed up content if it's something you want to pay attention to. I watched this video on 2x speed lol
I was talking with my therapist about this recently. I have so much anxiety and shame about how I never know what I *should* be doing or what I already should have done before this peice of the process. Also that because of that and short term memory issues, I dont trust my brain and I cant move forward with confidence and it adds another level of turbulence getting things done.
This is really helpful. I get so overwhelmed and frustrated. I don't know why I need to hear someone else validate that I have needs that are valid to feel like they are valid.... but here we are.
Great video! Along with the suggestion to help your future self, I've found that when I stop working for the day or have to take a break to take care of something else, it helps if I write down what I just did and what I was planning to do next on a sticky note to leave on my laptop or notebook page, or wherever. It really helps to get past the inertia to get going again when I come back. Also, as someone with the ASD/ADHD combo, discovered/diagnosed halfway through grad school for a doctorate, I would love a video on tips for working through the perfectionism and baggage of being an undiagnosed neurodivergent "gifted kid." I always knew I had struggled with executive functioning and memory and processing speed, but everyone labeled me as super smart to the point it was a large part of my identity, but the internal struggles made the impostor syndrome a real struggle. Having more understanding of how my brain works helps a ton, but I'm still working through figuring out who I am a year later. Anyway, love your channel! 😂 Oh, and the podcast with your husband is adorable and so fun!
Id definitely be interested to hear some suggestions for systems ADHD folks can use to get into bed on time. Im very much a sleep procrastinator xD. One suggestion i can offer is getting a smart bulb that dims on its own as it gets later. Its been helpful, although definitely not a silver bullet solution.
31 years old, and felt like I was finally getting a handle on how to corral my brain into doing what I need to do, in the last year I've had 3 strokes and my executive function broke through what I thought was rock bottom and plummeted further than I thought possible. Thank you for sharing your experiences, having these recommendations from someone who actually experiences them is such a world of difference to the usual saccharine 'instagram-validation' of "its okay, you got this!" and your matter of fact telling from a place of experience really shines through. Thank you for sharing your experiences, they are incredibly validating, and I hope to see more in future!
Right on time!! 🎉 I was sick earlier this week which throws me out of routine and that is always harder to deal with than the illness itself for me. 😅 These self-compassion and anti-hyperproductive culture reminders were so needed today. Thank you for doing what you do! ❤
Also I've been debating on getting myself a custom planner bc I have such specific needs but it feels like a luxury item. Totally getting it guilt-free as a way to show up for myself today 🥰
When you said be mindful of sleep I literally groaned. I KNoW but also I don't wanna. Gotta squeeze content viewing time outta my day, or something. I promise, I'll try. Thanks for sharing even the unpopular ideas 😂❤
I go way overboard with games and then notice that I feel this "ugh" feeling kinda depressed and disconnected feeling and sometimes compulsion to keep playing. After I notice this I keep telling myself that I can quit anytime and I can even delete the game and it won't matter. Eventually I do delete the games then a few months later I re-engage. This cycle repeats but at least I know how to pull myself out now.
I prioritize dishes, laundry and hygiene. If I'm struggling, these are what I fall back on prioritizing. Beyond that, what I've been trying to accept that "done not perfect" is better than not done at all. It means trying to work on my black and white thinking and flexibility but ultimately it's helped my mental health significantly. My AuDHD brain is always battling itself and I am definitely a chaos demon. I've also been trying to work on routines that are a bit more strict and structured (and not getting down on myself for not following it exactly) so that "future me" is better set up for success.
I'm autistic (but I think I have quite few of ADHD traits, too, just not diagnosed), and I started occupational therapy a few weeks ago, in order to get my everyday life in some control. My executive function has a life of its own - if I'm doing something I enjoy, I want to do it for hours without sleep or eat, but the not so enjoyable stuff is just such a struggle. I've had three sessions now, and I feel I'm failing the class, and having such huge anxiety over the next session, because I'm supposed to say what we should do. I'm also getting a lot of demand avoidance problems, because she gave me some "homework", which I got to pick, and finishing those tasks is also such a struggle. I wouldn't change my brain, because there are many things about my mind that I like, but I kinda wish this inability to do simple things wasn't a part of all of this.
hooking up future me is great, i always have a spare of my essentials, and when i run out of something and open the spare, i write it on my list for the next trip to the store
Thank you for these tips!! I was recently diagnosed with ADHD (thanks to a therapist I found via your Open Path link!) and I'm always looking for things that might help. 😊
I literally recorded your rant about how you explain task paralysis to your husband so I could show it to my boyfriend cuz I couldn’t have explained it that well. Thank you. 😊
I LOVE your videos! Literally the only critique I have is I wish the audio got louder. Not to say that you're speaking too quietly, but it's like the range when it's uploaded is limited. Even at my phone's highest volume, something can be difficult to hear. Keep up the great work though!
I literally have an alarm that goes off every night when I'm supposed to be getting ready for bed labeled, "can this wait until tomorrow?" "This" being the thing I'm doing at the current moment. 😂
I feel so called out lmfao. Saved this in a playlist to watch again later so it really sinks in, and I sent it to my sister who might also find it helpful.
Thank you, Mickey 💞💞 I was really struggling today, feeling sad and burned out and beating myself up for my ADHD symptoms making it impossible to start some important tasks. Really needed this today!!
I just found your channel, but I feel like you’ve seen inside my mind for my entire life. Thank you. And if you have more helpful tips for ADHD/neurodivergence, please share! I’m subscribing. 💜💜
8:16 while I was in the brain no worky right hospital they taught us that movement while talking aloud is hugely beneficial for processing thoughts. When I’m feeling emotional or overwhelmed about something I will pace around and swing my arms or do jumping jacks while I talk aloud about what I’m feeling and thinking. I also now go on what I call ‘hot girl walks.’ I go on a walk outside and don’t listen to anything, I just spend the whole time talking to myself. I usually have headphones in but only so it looks like I’m talking on the phone. These two practices have been hugely beneficial and I highly recommend them. I’ve had big breakthroughs by doing these.
I'd love a video on How to tell your employer that a) you have adhd b) it's what is causing your difficulties c) their suggestions to avoid your mistakes and solve the difficulites doesn't work for your brain - when adhd isn't really thing that is ackknowledged in your country and neurodivergency is an unknown term.
Brilliant video, Mickey! 😁👍💜💖 Love your ADHD videos, and tips or explanation videos. Plus, your hair is fabulous 🤩 I don't watch many of your reacts videos, because they're about shows I don't watch, and that's okay. I'm always glad to see you post.❤❤❤
I just had an idea/insight(?) about my executive dysfunction issues: I think that I used to "simulate" a lot of actions/events (like in "Gedankenexperiments") and use the emotional agitation that each of these "simulations" initiated, as a "driving force" of either being pulled into one or keep away from another "at all cost" (and I mean "all" since some consequences were almost fatal to me several times). So, with the calmer and more emotionally balanced "me" now (from understanding emotions better in the first place, empathic burn-out from getting almost a panic-attack each time my ex-hubby felt pain from his Neuropathy [which was basically every 5 minutes!] and third from the Non-Stimulant ADHD-Medication now), I also still have a lack of "drive" to start things because I don't do these "simulations" anymore (since the cause - fear/anxiety to "fit in" - for them has been mitigated to an extent). And that feels weird - far more peaceful and I also get the impression that many traumas are slowly healing in this "Limbo" state, but I still am not at the point where I feel resilient enough to any distressing situations again to "function" as a "part of Society" (again). Maybe it's also because of the fact, that I cannot find a competent Therapist here in Germany who is truly in it to help people and not to "adjust them to a sick System", that many power-dynamics-Hierarchies still are sadly. Power without Responsibility usually destroys whichever system this is allowed to persist! So, not opposing Demagogues (Political Level) or Anti-Social Manipulators (Private and Working Environment), will have increasingly destructive Consequences for *everyone* involved and affected by the consequences of these (in-)actions. So, after realizing these patterns I also feel paralyzed and power-/hopeless because I don't have the mental strength to face these conflicts, that will always occur "out there". And just "simulating" them often costs me all the energy/drive I can muster in a given day/moment...which is really contributing to the depression part of my issues. I know it's probably a good idea to try and find an organization, where I can be part of a greater force and through that experience a bit of "Self-Efficacy" again and mitigate this feeling of power- and hopelessness on these matters. But, it's still a "Systemic Issue" and likely won't be going away during my (leftover) Life-time. But I think, the lack of meaningful and emotionally deep and stable Social Connections (I have exactly 2 of these and they're both likely to die within the next - one hopefully several - decade/s ... if not from their medical issues, then from the system hardships, that will occur from the lack of implemented changes on the systemic/political side). And I know I don't have the nerve or mental resilience to face the necessary constructive discussions/conflicts, that building friendships or any kind of relationships will bring with them. I have trusted far too many "wrong people" in my past and worked out why they were wrong for me - what I contributed to the process (since I was also incompetent about emotions and what they mean still back then, which inevitably escalated conflicts and also prevented constructive solutions, no questions about that!). Yet, I have not found any kind of "Community" or "Tribe" that I feel like I belong to - maybe "Furries" are the most progressive candidates for that since they also have a sense of awareness of social issues and explore new inter-human possibilities through their personas sometimes (I dabbled a bit in Roleplaying Games and Environments and created a little special "Satyr" Character, that isn't quite adhering to the usual character traits for those Mythical Beings, but still brings some of them to the table in a very unique "context" and way). But using these "simulations" hasn't really been "interesting" anymore, despite me knowing how good it felt to "dive" into them and get lost for a time (night) and lose track of my own physical needs but strengthening my mental ones in the process and then sleep through a day or so to get my body and mind back "en par" with each other. But I don't feel I can sustain it anymore or keep at it for months already now since I started the ADHD Meds (Strattera-Equivalent)...and it's a little confusing to find myself where I am now. More at peace but also missing the impulses to start anything or find joy or pleasure in anything but my fundamental idea of finding a loving "Nest"/"Home" in the Arms of a loving Partner, which was the only reason for me to come back from my Near-Death-Experience in my early 20s anyway since I found nothing else but deep loving Relationships came to my mind in the what I thought to be my last moments alive back then and it let my spirit feel sad on such a fundamental level, that the next moment when I felt this overwelming Love stripping away all the sadness and pain again was in one way a "gift" and healing experience, but on the other hand my spirit was asking itself "when this is possible on this Level, why not on an inter-human Level, too?" and, believe me, I got close to this for pro-longed moments with very few Lovers, but none could sustain it together because all - including myself back at such young ages and emotional incompetence levels - were not capable of communicating clearly and honestly (which needs the courage and trust to be vulnerable with each other!) our needs to each other and find ways *together* to meet them... Well, the complexity that I found myself in when exploring these social and emotional "interaction processes" is astounding and fascinating - and despite only being able to do this "auto-didactically" in my own pace, I think I've gotten a pretty good and accurate competency by now since my pattern predictions are now relatively good at seeing people's troubles even more quickly and then assessing whether or not I feel capable of engaging with them or not. But also setting boundaries or realizing they don't need to be enforced when my assessments were wrong (to an extent or completely - which is rare). But I allow myself to be that since being wrong also opens a new opportunity to explore *why* I was wrong and learn something new again...which is still exciting, but getting increasingly rarer!
I really appreciate that these things (whatever it is that helps a person out, like saying something out loud, for example) are becoming more accepted these days because that's totally me. Also, when I do that, I actually remember more detail than most people would: i.e., : I'll remember the temperature or the weather, I'll remember what I was wearing, what time it was, who was with me, etc etc etc. All because it helps me, personally, to remember things period. But when I do, boy do I! Seriously! It's so crazy cool! Now I get why my friends tell me that I have such a good memory - it's that neurodivergence, I suppose. Well then, I'm totally ok with that 🙂
To be fair, I believe that's because I stop for just a few seconds to take everything in, just to make sure it translates from short-term memory into long-term memory
I've come to accept that I'll start a million projects and not finish them RIGHT AWAY but I generally do work on them again eventually. Letting go of timelines and those expectations help a lot. My hyperfixations like to take rotations and I just roll with what I want to do in the moment. Completely busted my constant paralysis and I'm more prolific than I've ever been.
I've discovered this too and it works great for my gardening and crocheting hobbies, even business projects (I run my own business). I'm actually more productive in the long run this way. I don't stick to a housecleaning routine but I'll get the motivation to clean out the fridge or shampoo the couch. The cycling around projects and chores means that things are balanced in the level of order, the chaos keeps from getting out of control even though it's not perfect
I think of it like a sundial! I come back around, eventually
I chuckled at this because I had taken the same pottery class every two years without intention. The third time I went, he laughed and said, "I thought you should be coming in soon." Haha I rotate the same 27 hobbies that are all adjacent in web like way.
I started making myself finish my projects before moving on and it helped me finish a lot more. to about 95% then I'm done and move on lol
@@zedlaftzegarld love that!
I had to do a lot of work as an adult to disentangle morality from sleep bc I grew up in a home that very strongly believed waking up early was objectively "good" and sleeping in was objectively "bad". I still have a lot of trouble viewing when I wake up in the morning as morally neutral as long as it doesn't interfere with my personal and professional obligations.
Same, same
I was 41 when I got my diagnosis of ADHD. I was 57 when an offhand comment about my neurodivergence slapped me in the face and suddenly I was seeing everything differently. The weird things I’ve done and said all my life made sense at last. Dealing with ADHD, bipolar depression, and generalized anxiety is challenging. Plus I left a high demand religion 12 years ago, and ended a 27 year marriage 4 years ago. So there’s so much crap just running around in my head. Some days I feel invincible, and other days, like today, I burst into tears when one of my power anthems comes up on shuffle. Thank you so much for being here and doing what you do. It truly helps.
Hard same to everything here.
I was diagnosed at 20 ish and it was already so challenging to unpack all the things I didn‘t understand about myself in childhood. I have so much respect for nd people who discover their neurodivergence a lot later in life. I wish you all the best!
I deal with the all the same stuff too and it’s beyond difficult. Most days I just want to give up. I wonder if normies know how good they have it.
Someone on RUclips mentioned that a common symptom for autism in women is that they have been ( mis)diagnosed with bipolar in the past. You might want to look into this, just saying...
I've also changed calling "exercise" to "active meditation" or "zoomies time" because a, for whatever reason the labeling makes me feel less paralyzed by it and b, having a set aside time to run around and let my brain roam on whatever it wants to think about helps me focus more throughout the day as well as labeling it as a health activity makes me judge the thoughts a lot less and feel productive. I'm trying to do this practice a lot more organically where if I notice myself pacing or hyperfocused on something, instead of trying to pull myself out of it and being critical of myself for it, I'll go for a walk and let the thoughts continue. It's still really difficult because I still struggle with judging myself and "what I should be doing right now" but giving my thoughts the freedom and space to exist more than before has been really helpful.
Omg I love "zoomies time" and will be using that.
I started going to the gym, for many different reasons, and you know, it is always a struggle to actually leave my room and enter the gym space, but once I do I feel like I have like
WON
something, against myself.
And once I leave, I feel so good.
And now, since I have discovered that is practically necessary for ADHDers to exercise, I realized it IS a mental health necessity.
So, because I live with my family I often hear: “well, you don’t have to workout everyday, come have lunch with us etc. Stay and watch some tv etc” And I just say to myself: No, I have to go, is for my mental health.
And that has been working out fine :)
I am neurodivergant, I was diagnosed with severe ADHD. It literally says on my records severe. I had trouble throughout my life because of it. I was struggling. I went through so many therapists, thinking it was just anxiety & and a learning disability. At the age of 40 I had gotten insomnia, it was awful, but it led me to see a neurologist and a psychologist. Between both of them, & series of tests, I had gotten the diagnosis of severe ADHD.
The psychologist suggested highly therapy & medication. He said it is your choice if you want to take the medication. The reason why I suggest to you is because it is severe. It is not a cure all but along with therapy it is a tool, to help.
So I did I started therapy, and medication.
It changed my life. Believe me I felt hopeless, even before the insomnia.
My life was on the upswing.
It's funny people notice & and they thought I was taking an antidepressant, or some type of an anti-anxiety medication. Because they comment on how come I was. Hell I can sit and not jump up every 5 mins.
Then my husband after 25 years lost his job. This man lost his insurance that paid for my psychologist.
Then I get laid off from my job. I could no longer afford a psychologist.
Because of money I had to stop therapy and my medication. At first I was handling it okay. Then after about seven months I felt myself spire right right back where I started from. I seen my family physician.
I was devastated and mortified. I had asked if I go see a therapist (they cannot prescribe) and if the therapist, can you work with he or she for the medicine? I had gotten a letter for my psychologist confirming I was diagnosed with ADHD and need to continue therapy and medication. My doctor said rudely I don't deal with pseudoscience of ADHD, no I don't even need to see your records. Don't ask again. When I left I was devastated I spiraled into a major depression.
I got a notebook of tips, it doesn't help. I need actual therapy. Because I don't have money I can't get it. In this country you're only allowed to be sick or have mental health issues if you have money if not oh well you don't matter.
The ADHD meds are super helpful however I know 2 people in my life who developed high blood pressure and migraines from using them and had to stop so it's definitely not without side effects.
ummmmmmmmmmmm get a new PC doctor?????????????????? please
@@magentatime Seconded!! Please get a new primary care doctor, OP, if you haven't already-I'm sure there's one out there that will take you and believe you!
How horrible... I can relate to your struggles a lot. I was diagnosed at 30. I also lost health insurance this year and I haven't been able to get back on meds & in therapy since then. The ADHD med shortages didn't help, I tried for months this year even with insurance to find a pharmacy that had my medicine in stock and they refused me. Our medical system is a nightmare, especially when you have mental health problems which make it difficult to stay persistent in seeking help. I hope we both figure out a way through this mess. It's not fair. My heart goes out to you and everyone else stuck in this situation. 😢❤️
Another one to add is that marijuana affects adhd a lot! It makes executive function and memory more difficult, especially if you use often. This isnt to say everyone should quit, especially if you use it for medical purposes, but it is something to be informed about. Personally my autism gives me more issues than my adhd, so it's a valid trade for me
This is currently my biggest achilles heel. I know it makes my brain foggier but I still like doing it. I’ve just cut it down to a once a week at most typa thing
Good example. Designating a safe space and time at home for that activity is one way to avoid or lessen the impact of social or executive function side effects. 👍
Yeah, I've found that it's a good "off switch" which sometimes is very much needed. But it's a hard off switch. I reserve it for only before bed or for when I'm about to have a melt down.
The really unfortunate thing about ADHD is that it has a high comorbidity rate with other psychiatric disorders. So sometimes it feels like you're miserable at x2 speed. It sucks. Being unable to stop hyperfocusing on things that are upsetting feels like being ground down into a paste.
It might not be the healthiest coping strategy, but I'd rather be stoned than feeling suicidal for hours on end.
There is also preliminary data that suggests that stimulant medication can adversely interact with marijuana in the form if heart strain. Most commonly, this takes the form of palpitations and irregularities on heartbeat but has also been associated with heart attack. So DO NOT USE MARIJUANA if you still have your stimulant medication in your system
Such a valid point! I find I have to cut myself off from smoking weed entirely because "only on weekends" turns to "also Friday" and then "Thurs is practically the weekend" .... and I'm smoking every day and not even feeling the high.
I just want to try to emphasize how important the sleep thing is. For as long as I can remember, I have never slept well. I'm the kind of person who just got so used to it that I'd seem completely normal on day three of not sleeping. Being constantly exhausted and having no energy was just, normal for me. Whenever I'd try to tell someone about why I couldn't sleep, they'd tell me I was probably seriously anxious as "I will lay in bed for 6 hours trying to fall asleep but I can't stop thinking" sounds like someone worrying over things to neurotypicals.
When I got diagnosed with ADHD at the end of last year, I finally had the language to describe what was happening to me and the actual cause. My psychiatrist recognized that typical sleep hygiene and common sleep medications weren't going to be enough for me, and got me onto some low doses of a more unusual drug. It did take some tweaking to get the dose right but now that we have... holy shit it's that same "Wait, this is how everyone else gets to feel all the time?" realisation that you get the first time you take ADHD meds that work for you. Turns out, you don't have to be constantly fucking exhausted all the damn time and wow does it feel good.
Having all this energy that I didn't have before helps so much with managing my ADHD because I'm not trying to fight both it and exhaustion just to start basic tasks. It helps so much. Hell, before we got this sorted, I could barely get out of bed in the morning. I'd lay there for hours just trying to work up the initiative to get up, and then I'd find that used all my energy so I did... nothing but doom scroll all day.
tl;dr please please please try to address any sleep issues you're having if you can, including asking for medical help. I know not everyone is in a position to do so but, even little things can still help your overall wellbeing.
That’s super interesting! If you are comfortable saying so, what type of medication did your psychiatrist suggest? I want to talk to my psychiatrist on sleep issues and insomnia and see if what worked for you could work for me.
@@dr_slytha Sorry, I uh never saw the notification for this >>
But my psychiatrist put me initially on quetiapine 25mg. While the relief from finally being able to sleep was huge and I felt so much better, at this dosage it was sedating me in the morning. Meaning I'd be completely unable to wake up for about 2-3 hours after my alarm went off. Not great. I've found halving those 25mg tablets stops that sedation effect for me (at my psychiatrist's suggestion of course). How effective the dose is does depend on my stress levels too - in some times of particularly high stress, I need 100mg to be able to sleep.
It is worth noting that quetiapine doesn't make me feel sleepy - it simply makes me fall asleep quickly. So if I lose track of time I might stay up until 4am without meaning to. My psychiatrist has been concerned about this and has been trialling some other meds but, I haven't found any that have helped me sleep yet. So it's a work in progress.
I also really need to highlight that quetiapine is an antipsychotic drug - it is being used off label for me. From what I understand, the clinical evidence for it's effectiveness treating insomnia is limited, and there are concerns around adverse side effects even at very low doses. For whatever reason, it works for me and outside of feeling too sedated, I haven't had any noticeable side effects from it. So, I think if you've been struggling to sleep for ages and everything else hasn't worked for you, it can be worth asking your psychiatrist about. But do keep in mind that I might just be some weirdo who lucked out with it, and it might not be suitable for you. But I think it can be worth trying with your psychiatrist's permission and oversight.
As someone very early in their diagnosis/treatment journey who is exhausted all the damn time, this comment makes me feel hopeful
@@sarah.s.flanagan Sorry to hear you're so damn tired, that can be rough, especially when you're just starting out on the whole diagnosis/treatment journey. But I'm glad to hear you're feeling a bit hopeful from what I said.
Dunno if this helps you but, over the past couple months I've found out that my iron levels also played a big role in how tired I was feeling. Addressing that has also made a big impact on my energy levels and my ability to just, function. My stimulant meds feel like they work better when I have the energy to follow through on tasks basically. So, if you're feeling exhausted all the time, it might be worth double checking since it makes a difference (especially if there's other things compounding how tired you are), and stuff like this is super easy to treat.
tip 1:40
tip 2 4:24
tip 3 6:40
tip4 10:10
tip5 12:40
Thanks for making the transitions long so we could reference them and see where they are! Added this to my ADHD playlist to rewatch.
Is your playlist public? Im interested! If not, any channel recs? I know about HowToADHD ofc but don't have many others
thank you for your service. Now that’s knowing your audience!
@@irradiated_woman8016 I just made it public for you! : ) I love Mickey since she has ADHD too. I definitely recommend Dr. Huberman's takes(altho long as he's a Neuropsych). Dr. Gabor Mate also has a bit different take on ADHD. Also - I have some good meditation playlists. Meditation centers around training focus and relaxing so that's helped me massively. ruclips.net/p/PLjIai2Rt3a-PqNAYEwi_mVM9zoXtdShML
@@ShimmerBodyCream awww thank you! I see Russel Barkley, you know what up 🧠
So brilliant to have an adhd playlist!!
Mickey... why did it take 26 years for me to get diagnosed when I would TELL THEM these exact problems??? They would keep saying, "It's probably depression." ... so let's HEAL my depression before finding out if it's ADHD?! Not even a year ago, I went to a new doc, he said the same thing. In frustration I said, "Or maybe I'm DEPRESSED because I have ADHD and I feel like I'm about to get fired and I feel like a constant failure!" He seemed to not have realized before that it could work that way. I am on medication now, and FINALLY feel like I can think! (I'm still not always perfectly focused, but at least I can think FAR more effieciently.) So why do doctors try SO HARD to deny us the diagnosis and medication we need to function? 26 years of absolute hell!
I like to use a little wheel with the tasks I need to do and spin it to decide where to start helps me get excited about doing things.
Lol the sleep is forever elusive and I know part of it is if I could stick to a routine would be good and I really try to and part of it is I just always slept really good in the day and my body just wants to but I can’t
Ok, look, there was no need to call me out THIS HARD from the past on my screen time, especially right before bed. 😂 Love that you dont shy away from the occasional swear, btw, it feels less sanitized hearing a pro talk like normal people around me.
I can confirm that saying things outloud will prevent you from wasting a ton of gas from having to turn back and check the stove, locks, etc. Thanks for always seeing us, Mickey!!
* LOCKED LOCKED LOCKED *
* OFF OFF OFF *
I'm neurotypical, but I have a frontal lobe brain injury that causes my mind to function a lot like I'm neurodivergant. I'm relating pretty hard to this video. Thank you!
neurodivergent just means any brain that diverges from the norm- a frontal lobe injury definitely qualifies! however you of course don't have to use the neurodivergent label if it doesn't feel right to you.
Ooh! Sorry if this is weird but that is really neat-i have read about the types of brain injuries that mimic ADHD, it isn't all together uncommon, and this research has really helped our understanding of ADHD.
I believe Russell Barkley (basically THE MAN, top adhd researcher and educator for decades) talks about these injuries and his stuff is always great to read/listen to. There's a recommendation in that, but I'm also saying that you and folks like you are completely 100% legitimate in identifying with adhd/ND stuff and tips and content. You belong in the "club," if you want to be.
The lines between this type of brain injury and ADHD that we're born with can actually get pretty blurry anyway. Eg i don't know for sure that i didn't have a TBI as a child that went unrecognized and created or worsened my ADHD. I don't _think_ that happened, but being that i was an active, impulsive, clumsy child I _did_ bonk my head plenty... So who knows!
_one of us. one of us. one of us._
@@ethevillagecryptid2293 Interesting! I had read that"neurodivergent" applied only to people born with atypical brain function, but if y'all say I'm in the club, I'm happy to be in it! I'm glad to hear that I haven't been wrong in seeing so much of myself in neurodivergent creator's content! 🥳🎉
@@irradiated_woman8016 I majored in psychology with a concentration in neuroscience in college. So I think lesion studies are super cool too! Thanks for the validation. I'm part of the club!!! 🎊
@@binglemarie42Fun fact: PTSD is also considered to be under the neurodivergent umbrella, since it affects the frontal lobe (?) development. It can cause symptoms similar to ADHD, as well as it's own unique symptoms
the first thing about efficiency is so real. crazy how many times I dont do any cleaning because I keep thinking of other tasks first and suddenly I cant clean because I need to do yoga and then take a shower and get dressed and take out the trash before I can vacuum- a task which takes like 20 minutes.
ADHD insomniac here- sleep is SO much more important than I would ever have credited before I started getting it regularly.
It's been six years since my diagnosis and I am learning for the first time that my obsession with efficiency is part of my ADHD. 🤯
I'm also cracking up about the talk about "future me" is how I've been thinking about this for YEARS.
PROTIP: hang all your clothes. Folding laundry has been the bane of my existence so everything is hung.
My current phone allows me to set it to go grey scale on a schedule, and I've found that really useful as a sign that it's time to stop doing high energy screen things and switch to reading or music, do my journal, and start my bedtime things. Well worth a try!
I say things out loud CONSTANTLY. Especially green light if I see a green light. It's like an automatic/subconscious function when I'm on autopilot driving.
Excessive screen time causing a lowered tolerance for low stimulation is an interesting perspective. I've actually never heard this before! I've noticed that I've become addicted to listening to RUclips videos or podcasts during the day. Since this has become a habit, I've noticed that I feel much more restless when I don't have something to listen to and I'm alone with my thoughts. It causes problems for sure.
Same! I listen to podcasts when I cook breakfast, do my makeup, clean up, cook dinner. I didn't realize why until now. 80% podcast 20% RUclips videos... Definitely working on less screen time now
My husband calls my very specific morning/evening routines my "Goldilocks brain", and he is so right. Everything has to be "just right" or my whole day/night is completely knocked off course.
I've been doing most of this, but to be honest, I'm super happy to know that I'm on the right track! My ADHD seems to be minor (enough that I didn't get diagnosed for some time) but when combined with anxiety and depression it can cause issues. Still, every time I learn more about ADHD, I'm just like, "huh, that's why". (The door locked thing I didn't know was related to ADHD so I was so happy to know where that came from! I get so much anxiety about whether I've locked doors.)
Pausing right at the beginning.
As an ADHDer I well and truly feel like I need to address this.
Social Media apps, and ESPECIALLY tiktok, are designed to prey on quirks in the way human attention spans work. These quirks are far more pronounced in many inattentive/combination type ADHDers. If you can moderate your usage, that’s great, but if you’re struggling PLEASE consider uninstalling these apps.
I don’t even go fully without social media! I reinstall facebook and reddit about once a week and go on them for an hour or so, or I go on the computer to use them. I uninstall them when I’m done because otherwise when I’m at all bored the first thing I do is crack the apps open and dissociate into a stream of dopamine hits.
With tiktok though, once I’d been away from the app for a couple weeks I became disgusted at how preyed-upon I felt. I missed some of the creators I’d become lose internet friends with, but ultimately it helped my dissociation issues SO much. Even youtube’s shorts aren’t as bad because the algo isn’t so aggressively predatory.
This also goes for phone games. Please always keep in mind that these platforms literally target us. ADHDers make up a large % of the “whales” in p2w games that spend their life savings on microtransactions.
Stay safe and please don’t let yourself scroll your life away.
It's so interesting to see how the brain can compensate for a number of problems. I have "memory deficits" due to having a diagnosed dissociative disorder (DID/OSDD). These tips work just as well for me, even though the cause of my divergence is different. ❤
I purposely never downloaded TikTok, IG or Twitter. Having shorts on YT is actually a problem. And I've considered deleting my Facebook, as that's where I tend to doomscroll. I've always had horrible sleep, and nightmares. I'm at the point of needing help, as I believe I may be au-adhd, but access is really hard. Even committing to try find help is hard.
I am so glad you called yourself a chaos gremlin at the end! I found that my friends who I felt most akin to we all have been diagnosed in the last 5 years. We are all women in our thirties who have graduate degrees. I think that we bonded because we recognized our brains work similarly but not to the public (neurotypical). We often called our adventures shenanigans but chaos gremlins would have worked just as well!
The saying stuff out loud reminded me of how in Japan, some train workers use a system called 'point and call". When they go through their duties they will point at what they're looking at and say what they're checking out loud. So they'll point at the speedometer and say the speed out loud, or will point along the platform edge and say "clear" out loud. It was found to reduce accidents and mistakes and helped them remember events more accurately in case there was an incident.
I have started doing this and OMG it helps so much, especially if i'm doing a task out of order or if my task can't be paused but I need to do something else like take my meds. It feels a little silly at first but it really does help a lot.
Thank you for the 'being able to function on no sleep is not a flex.' I needed to hear that.
As a woman, society has done its best to program me to apologize for being loud or big or excited/emotional or having something to say, and it took me years to break that mindset and take up space.
Being ADHD comes with a lot of the same treatment by NTs, and it is no different. You have the right to exist and be yourself if you’re not hurting others, and their convenience and comfort are not sufficient cause for hurting yourself by masking constantly to try to fit into a world that doesn’t make room for anyone different.
8:39 YES! Saying or sing-songing what I’m doing is EXTREMELY helpful. It “ensures” (as much as possible) that I’m fully present for what I’m doing.
For example: in the evenings I set out mine and my partner’s meds (we’re getting old so meds are a big part of our daily routine 😂) I open my pill sorter and sing-song “These my meds. I’m putting my meds in the yellow cup” and then repeat the same steps for my partner all the while sing-songing “these are X’s meds. His meds are in the blue cup”
It works and I haven’t accidentally messed up our meds since. Woot!
Singing helps me. People pass by at work and know I'm doing something I'm focusing on and don't want to them to interrupt me while singing. I sing what I'm doing. A doctor asked me to look for a methadone form,
me- "methh a doooone form ohhh. I'm looooking for the methadone formmmm." The pitch changes when I really really don't want to be interrupted or extremely consumed lol.
I didn't even say ok. That was my response. That's 60% my responses. Song. I think it has to do with the vagus nerve. But I give myself full credit for showmanship. I thought it was a phase. Andy from the office makes me feel understood.
You express yourself very well. You're a smart person 😊
When I figured out the best trick for turning off my brain and falling to sleep quickly, my life was changed. I put in an earbud and listen to a show or movie that I have memorized. It engages my brain just enough to keep my mind from racing but I don’t have to pay so much attention that it keeps me from falling asleep. Puts me out like a light. I recently watched Kit Harrington from Game of Thrones describing this exact method on a podcast where he talked about his ADHD diagnosis.
Mickey, I almost teared up with gratitude. ❤ I feel so seen. I am 43 and finally realizing how important it is that I recognize the fact that I have undiagnosed adhd and also ptsd, and to reframe how my brain works. I work every damn day to tell her that we are not lazy. We are not stupid and we are just different. "Neurodivergent" has been such a gift- a healthy replacement for "lazy" as was instilled in me as a child. I also believe that I have dyscalculia, but that's another antidote. 😊 anyway, thank you from the bottom of my weird loving little freak heart for speaking about your experiences and your education on this topic. It helps me love myself more and I know it helps others too. You're the best.
I have dyscalc too. Hello, fellow number challenged person,!
@@maryeckel9682 hello! 😊
Love the vid! For most of my life I thought I was neurotypical but just vibed with a lot of neurodivergent experiences. I was born with cerebral palsy and an MRI a few years back for a different issue showed a literal void in one hemisphere of my brain. So I was this many years old when I realized that I actually AM neurodivergent, and feel less weird about using all the ADHD and ND hacks to help me function (which I know is silly, because the curb effect is real and good and me yanking off my cupboard doors so I can see my dishes isn’t taking resources from other people, but again - BRAIN WEASELS).
Mickey, you radiate so much warmth. Every time I watch one of your videos I wish you were my therapist ❤
Listening to brown noise in the evening has been a game changer. It "overwhelms" my mind in a good way. I get much better sleep that way.
"Task paralysis" Thank you. I need that phrase in my life.
Also, totally feel you on the lint trap thing lol. I'm the same way.
I would love a chat about OCD. I relate a ton to people with ADHD because it comes from the same area of the brain and symptoms do overlap... But there are differences too. I'm currently struggling with my tasks because of that perfectionism that can come with OCD. I get stuck in my "shoulds" and then feel like I'm not doing anything well. How to manage being a spouse, parent, employee, etc when there is no way to feel like it's balanced because my brain thinks I need to be all the things to all the people. I would love to convince my spouse that it's worth it for me to quit my part time job but the things that feel important to me are not important to them.
This is not related to the video, but I wanted to say I watch your channel as a pick-me-up between therapy sessions. Your stuff always has something practical to take away or something I need to be reminded of. So thanks for what you do!
Edited for clarity as I don't want to send the message that I think this is therapy/substitute. I have a longer timeline on my therapy visits for financial reasons and Mickey always delivers great info in an easy to understand format.
I wish that discussions of "screen time" were more nuanced. I think I know the feeling you're talking about, and different kinds of screen time seem to impact it differently. Spending 2 hours scrolling on tik tok is different than spending 2 hours drawing on my tablet, which is different than spending 2 hours writing code, etc. This isn't really a criticism of you, more of the way screen time is discussed (and perhaps researched) in general.
I wonder if different apps can be called "passive screen time." As much as I love Instagram and looking at friends' posts on Facebook, I know it's passive and I can get sucked in.
Very much so. It's just a tool, which can be used for good (coding, writing, music editing, video editing, art, AutoCAD, etc etc etc). It can be a tool for time wasting too. But a huge difference.
I'm ADHD and I'm going through some task orientated issues that some friends are trying to help with at the moment and I actually just linked this video to them because I'm trying to explain to them what I'm going through and why what they are suggesting isn't working. Point 1 is exactly what I'm dealing with at the moment. ADHD is like a super power that you can't point in any one direction (I really wish I could pick my hyper focuses lol) but if you can get it trained on something productive, then we could make the world such a better place.
Watching from Phoenix Arizona ❤ I love so much this RUclips channel, as a person who is neurodiverse ADHD , I love how you talk about it
Thank you so much for the video ,I really need this advice right now .
And yes we want more of this video ❤please and thank you again
Saying stuff out loud is so helpful! I had a really wonderful Spanish teacher in high school, and he used verbal repetition a lot in learning pronunciation and new grammatical structures/words. The way he described it was “your ear remembers better than your brain” or something along those lines). To this day, whenever I speak with native speakers, they’re surprised at how good my pronunciation is and I attribute most of that to this trick. I’m going to start using it more like Mickey does in the video- to help remember important things!
So helpful! Any chance you would be willing to make a video about parenting when you as the adult have ADHD? It seems like there are TONS of resources these days for parenting children with neurodivergencies, but not much for if you’re a neurodivergent new parent and are drowning every second of every day 🙃
Your description of task paralysis is so relatable!! Doing anything less than the most efficient way possible is going to feel like doing it wrong, and if I can’t do it right, why bother? That’s not what my rational thoughts say, but it’s what ends up ruling my life.
Recognising that this is a relatively niche need, I wonder if you'd ever consider trying to offer ADHD coping tips that are compatible with PDA (pathological demand avoidance) since that neurotype kind of precludes a lot of the typical advice for ADHDers. ☺️
Thanks for your channel and your work regardless!
These originals are the best. They align with the intended tropes to tell an epic story. ❤
Just found your channel. Bingeing all. Love your attitude and really appreciate the tips and the warmth with which they're given. Thank you! ❤❤ ❤
my hack for limiting screen time is to buy a real alarm clock!!!! buying an old school alarm clock got rid of my last excuse to have my phone in my bedroom and i now leave my phone in the kitchen to charge at night so it's not near my bed. putting the phone on the charger in the evening is a nice trigger for 'it's now time for the bedtime routine', it helps me prioritize better sleep hygiene habits, and it prevents me from scrolling before i fall asleep AND prevents me from scrolling as soon as I wake up. keeping the phone away from your brain and eyeballs during sleep time also helps with quality of sleep/sleep hygiene too!
i also recommend removing the super addictive apps from your phone (facebook, twitter, tiktok whatever) and only using them on desktop. the desktop interface is almost always clunkier and therefore less addictive to our stupid human brains. i find myself naturally using those apps less frequently and for a shorter duration of time even though i put no restrictions on my usage beyond taking them off my phone.
"Trust what you need". Man, I didn’t think about this much before, but this can be such a massive source of shame in addition to all the other things neurodivergent/ADHD folk are shamed for consistently.
My degree is quite demanding and so there’s tons of information constantly thrown my way. Through the years I’ve learned what works for me but I’m still not perfect and I make mistakes often. One day when I stayed after a lab to ask our demonstrator about the notes I had made he said to my face, "You shouldn’t be writing that, that’s just something you should remember for later." I was so upset I couldn’t even talk and had to leave so I wouldn’t cry. I wish people understood better.
Limiting screen time is HARD but its so useful. Ive got app time limiters on twitter now, and I deleted tiktok a while back for my mental health. i find other things to do. i cant trust myself to NOT go into those comments and doom scroll but when I KNOW i have a limited amount of time to work with in the back of my head that helps me make better decisions on how I engage with twitter. Also I should try doing the "say it out loud" thing when I take my meds because I can have the bottle open in front of me, get distracted, then not remember whether i took them or not asdfasdfasd
The efficiency thing has absolutely floored me. I've described this problem pretty much in those exact words with those exact thoughts and I felt so alone in it and thought I was just so stupid. it's caused me so much suffering when i have to do things independently and make decisions (basically every aspect of life 😅) thank you so much for putting this into words and giving me something to hold onto whenever i start spiraling about efficiency and the correct order of things
That first thing is so nice to hear. The piece of advice I hate absolutely the most is "work smarter not harder." What if you don't know what smart is? What if you don't feel like you can intentionally make your work more efficient, and the only thing you can do is work longer and harder to get the same thing done as other people?
Second I could feel when I gave up most streaming for lent. It felt great but now I feel like I need a "detox" again after a few months past Easter. I heard low dopamine mornings are nice, and I have found the same. It's what sets me up for a productive day.
I really needed video especially since I’m starting a new job and I am unable to access my meds due to the shortage. There was so much kindness and compassion in this video and it’s exactly what I needed (well that and hopefully meds become available again soon lol.)
Hope the shortage for your class of meds resolves soon. These shortages are really difficult. :(
@@saraleigh5336 Ty! I was finally able to get them thanks to my psychiatrist sending it to a third pharmacy. I hope this supply issue gets resolved soon.
I’ve had a lifelong motto: doing something badly is always better than doing nothing. (Ok, maybe there’s a caveat if it messes with safety of any kind). But it has never stopped being hard to persuade people that if you let me iterate I’ll get the same amount or more done than someone else-it just looks messy. I have to accept the judgement and that people will turn around once I’m done. But yes. It will be ever. Single. Time.
Oh my goodness yes! This! All of this! I frequently have a hard time with transitioning from evening rest time to "getting ready for bed time" at night because it not just go take a shower and go to bed for me, it's:
1) Get off the couch.
2) Take my medicine.
3) Go into the bedroom.
4) Take all of my clothes off.
5) Put the dirty clothes in the hamper.
6) Put the 'can be worn again' clothes on the shelf as well as a new shirt/socks for the next day.
7) Take off my hearing aids and glasses.
8)....and on and on and on until I am in bed and turning out the lights... It's so exhausting...
Thank you so much for putting words to my struggle, offering suggestions and validating that some of my weird "fixes" are helpful for others too. It's not my imagination
Dunno if this will help anyone, but the biggest thing that's helped me with reducing screentime is putting on music or a podcast. It gives that background stimulation, and having that along with screens becomes too much so I tend to turn the screen off on my own without thinking about it
Also if you need to do something on a screen and tend to get distracted, speed up content if it's something you want to pay attention to. I watched this video on 2x speed lol
I was talking with my therapist about this recently. I have so much anxiety and shame about how I never know what I *should* be doing or what I already should have done before this peice of the process. Also that because of that and short term memory issues, I dont trust my brain and I cant move forward with confidence and it adds another level of turbulence getting things done.
This is really helpful. I get so overwhelmed and frustrated. I don't know why I need to hear someone else validate that I have needs that are valid to feel like they are valid.... but here we are.
Great video! Along with the suggestion to help your future self, I've found that when I stop working for the day or have to take a break to take care of something else, it helps if I write down what I just did and what I was planning to do next on a sticky note to leave on my laptop or notebook page, or wherever. It really helps to get past the inertia to get going again when I come back.
Also, as someone with the ASD/ADHD combo, discovered/diagnosed halfway through grad school for a doctorate, I would love a video on tips for working through the perfectionism and baggage of being an undiagnosed neurodivergent "gifted kid." I always knew I had struggled with executive functioning and memory and processing speed, but everyone labeled me as super smart to the point it was a large part of my identity, but the internal struggles made the impostor syndrome a real struggle. Having more understanding of how my brain works helps a ton, but I'm still working through figuring out who I am a year later. Anyway, love your channel! 😂 Oh, and the podcast with your husband is adorable and so fun!
I appreciate that you share some of your own struggles. Thank you for the video.
Id definitely be interested to hear some suggestions for systems ADHD folks can use to get into bed on time. Im very much a sleep procrastinator xD. One suggestion i can offer is getting a smart bulb that dims on its own as it gets later. Its been helpful, although definitely not a silver bullet solution.
Work in partnership with a friend. Text each other good night. (Make a routine which could be telling a joke, a pattern of saying good night, etc.)
31 years old, and felt like I was finally getting a handle on how to corral my brain into doing what I need to do, in the last year I've had 3 strokes and my executive function broke through what I thought was rock bottom and plummeted further than I thought possible. Thank you for sharing your experiences, having these recommendations from someone who actually experiences them is such a world of difference to the usual saccharine 'instagram-validation' of "its okay, you got this!" and your matter of fact telling from a place of experience really shines through.
Thank you for sharing your experiences, they are incredibly validating, and I hope to see more in future!
Right on time!! 🎉 I was sick earlier this week which throws me out of routine and that is always harder to deal with than the illness itself for me. 😅 These self-compassion and anti-hyperproductive culture reminders were so needed today.
Thank you for doing what you do! ❤
Also I've been debating on getting myself a custom planner bc I have such specific needs but it feels like a luxury item. Totally getting it guilt-free as a way to show up for myself today 🥰
When you said be mindful of sleep I literally groaned. I KNoW but also I don't wanna. Gotta squeeze content viewing time outta my day, or something. I promise, I'll try. Thanks for sharing even the unpopular ideas 😂❤
I go way overboard with games and then notice that I feel this "ugh" feeling kinda depressed and disconnected feeling and sometimes compulsion to keep playing. After I notice this I keep telling myself that I can quit anytime and I can even delete the game and it won't matter. Eventually I do delete the games then a few months later I re-engage. This cycle repeats but at least I know how to pull myself out now.
I prioritize dishes, laundry and hygiene. If I'm struggling, these are what I fall back on prioritizing. Beyond that, what I've been trying to accept that "done not perfect" is better than not done at all. It means trying to work on my black and white thinking and flexibility but ultimately it's helped my mental health significantly. My AuDHD brain is always battling itself and I am definitely a chaos demon. I've also been trying to work on routines that are a bit more strict and structured (and not getting down on myself for not following it exactly) so that "future me" is better set up for success.
These are great! I'd love a video for supporting a loved one with ADHD.
I'm autistic (but I think I have quite few of ADHD traits, too, just not diagnosed), and I started occupational therapy a few weeks ago, in order to get my everyday life in some control. My executive function has a life of its own - if I'm doing something I enjoy, I want to do it for hours without sleep or eat, but the not so enjoyable stuff is just such a struggle. I've had three sessions now, and I feel I'm failing the class, and having such huge anxiety over the next session, because I'm supposed to say what we should do. I'm also getting a lot of demand avoidance problems, because she gave me some "homework", which I got to pick, and finishing those tasks is also such a struggle.
I wouldn't change my brain, because there are many things about my mind that I like, but I kinda wish this inability to do simple things wasn't a part of all of this.
Super helpful! I hope you continue making these tips videos, there are so many things I wouldn't have thought of.
hooking up future me is great, i always have a spare of my essentials, and when i run out of something and open the spare, i write it on my list for the next trip to the store
Only diagnose d very resently. These help alot!
Hey, just found your channel through this video. I wanted to say I love what you're doing and keep it up!
Thank you so much for the recommendations! I am excited to try some.
Thank you for these tips!! I was recently diagnosed with ADHD (thanks to a therapist I found via your Open Path link!) and I'm always looking for things that might help. 😊
I literally recorded your rant about how you explain task paralysis to your husband so I could show it to my boyfriend cuz I couldn’t have explained it that well. Thank you. 😊
Thank you so much for talking about ADHD in adults.
I LOVE your videos! Literally the only critique I have is I wish the audio got louder. Not to say that you're speaking too quietly, but it's like the range when it's uploaded is limited. Even at my phone's highest volume, something can be difficult to hear.
Keep up the great work though!
@2:50… OH MY GAWD!!!! Thank You Mickey🫠
I literally have an alarm that goes off every night when I'm supposed to be getting ready for bed labeled, "can this wait until tomorrow?" "This" being the thing I'm doing at the current moment. 😂
I feel so called out lmfao. Saved this in a playlist to watch again later so it really sinks in, and I sent it to my sister who might also find it helpful.
You and your channel feel so safe, thank you for that! :)
Awesome, this was a validating video and had great tips. Thank you! 💕
Thank you, Mickey 💞💞 I was really struggling today, feeling sad and burned out and beating myself up for my ADHD symptoms making it impossible to start some important tasks. Really needed this today!!
Love this video and thank you for making it! There is definitely no "one-size-fits-all" approach when it comes to ADHD or therapy!❤
I just found your channel, but I feel like you’ve seen inside my mind for my entire life. Thank you. And if you have more helpful tips for ADHD/neurodivergence, please share! I’m subscribing. 💜💜
"Be mindful of your sleep"
Me watching this at 2:30am because I woke up and knew I wouldn't be able to sleep anymore
8:16 while I was in the brain no worky right hospital they taught us that movement while talking aloud is hugely beneficial for processing thoughts. When I’m feeling emotional or overwhelmed about something I will pace around and swing my arms or do jumping jacks while I talk aloud about what I’m feeling and thinking. I also now go on what I call ‘hot girl walks.’ I go on a walk outside and don’t listen to anything, I just spend the whole time talking to myself. I usually have headphones in but only so it looks like I’m talking on the phone. These two practices have been hugely beneficial and I highly recommend them. I’ve had big breakthroughs by doing these.
I’ve heard of actors with adhd learning their lines whilst in constant motion and it got them word perfect
I'd love a video on How to tell your employer that a) you have adhd b) it's what is causing your difficulties c) their suggestions to avoid your mistakes and solve the difficulites doesn't work for your brain - when adhd isn't really thing that is ackknowledged in your country and neurodivergency is an unknown term.
Oh gosh yes. I always process things better in motion.
This video was very validating for me ❤
This so helpful. Thank you!
Brilliant video, Mickey! 😁👍💜💖 Love your ADHD videos, and tips or explanation videos. Plus, your hair is fabulous 🤩
I don't watch many of your reacts videos, because they're about shows I don't watch, and that's okay. I'm always glad to see you post.❤❤❤
I just had an idea/insight(?) about my executive dysfunction issues:
I think that I used to "simulate" a lot of actions/events (like in "Gedankenexperiments") and use the emotional agitation that each of these "simulations" initiated, as a "driving force" of either being pulled into one or keep away from another "at all cost" (and I mean "all" since some consequences were almost fatal to me several times).
So, with the calmer and more emotionally balanced "me" now (from understanding emotions better in the first place, empathic burn-out from getting almost a panic-attack each time my ex-hubby felt pain from his Neuropathy [which was basically every 5 minutes!] and third from the Non-Stimulant ADHD-Medication now), I also still have a lack of "drive" to start things because I don't do these "simulations" anymore (since the cause - fear/anxiety to "fit in" - for them has been mitigated to an extent).
And that feels weird - far more peaceful and I also get the impression that many traumas are slowly healing in this "Limbo" state, but I still am not at the point where I feel resilient enough to any distressing situations again to "function" as a "part of Society" (again).
Maybe it's also because of the fact, that I cannot find a competent Therapist here in Germany who is truly in it to help people and not to "adjust them to a sick System", that many power-dynamics-Hierarchies still are sadly. Power without Responsibility usually destroys whichever system this is allowed to persist! So, not opposing Demagogues (Political Level) or Anti-Social Manipulators (Private and Working Environment), will have increasingly destructive Consequences for *everyone* involved and affected by the consequences of these (in-)actions.
So, after realizing these patterns I also feel paralyzed and power-/hopeless because I don't have the mental strength to face these conflicts, that will always occur "out there". And just "simulating" them often costs me all the energy/drive I can muster in a given day/moment...which is really contributing to the depression part of my issues.
I know it's probably a good idea to try and find an organization, where I can be part of a greater force and through that experience a bit of "Self-Efficacy" again and mitigate this feeling of power- and hopelessness on these matters.
But, it's still a "Systemic Issue" and likely won't be going away during my (leftover) Life-time. But I think, the lack of meaningful and emotionally deep and stable Social Connections (I have exactly 2 of these and they're both likely to die within the next - one hopefully several - decade/s ... if not from their medical issues, then from the system hardships, that will occur from the lack of implemented changes on the systemic/political side).
And I know I don't have the nerve or mental resilience to face the necessary constructive discussions/conflicts, that building friendships or any kind of relationships will bring with them. I have trusted far too many "wrong people" in my past and worked out why they were wrong for me - what I contributed to the process (since I was also incompetent about emotions and what they mean still back then, which inevitably escalated conflicts and also prevented constructive solutions, no questions about that!).
Yet, I have not found any kind of "Community" or "Tribe" that I feel like I belong to - maybe "Furries" are the most progressive candidates for that since they also have a sense of awareness of social issues and explore new inter-human possibilities through their personas sometimes (I dabbled a bit in Roleplaying Games and Environments and created a little special "Satyr" Character, that isn't quite adhering to the usual character traits for those Mythical Beings, but still brings some of them to the table in a very unique "context" and way).
But using these "simulations" hasn't really been "interesting" anymore, despite me knowing how good it felt to "dive" into them and get lost for a time (night) and lose track of my own physical needs but strengthening my mental ones in the process and then sleep through a day or so to get my body and mind back "en par" with each other.
But I don't feel I can sustain it anymore or keep at it for months already now since I started the ADHD Meds (Strattera-Equivalent)...and it's a little confusing to find myself where I am now. More at peace but also missing the impulses to start anything or find joy or pleasure in anything but my fundamental idea of finding a loving "Nest"/"Home" in the Arms of a loving Partner, which was the only reason for me to come back from my Near-Death-Experience in my early 20s anyway since I found nothing else but deep loving Relationships came to my mind in the what I thought to be my last moments alive back then and it let my spirit feel sad on such a fundamental level, that the next moment when I felt this overwelming Love stripping away all the sadness and pain again was in one way a "gift" and healing experience, but on the other hand my spirit was asking itself "when this is possible on this Level, why not on an inter-human Level, too?" and, believe me, I got close to this for pro-longed moments with very few Lovers, but none could sustain it together because all - including myself back at such young ages and emotional incompetence levels - were not capable of communicating clearly and honestly (which needs the courage and trust to be vulnerable with each other!) our needs to each other and find ways *together* to meet them...
Well, the complexity that I found myself in when exploring these social and emotional "interaction processes" is astounding and fascinating - and despite only being able to do this "auto-didactically" in my own pace, I think I've gotten a pretty good and accurate competency by now since my pattern predictions are now relatively good at seeing people's troubles even more quickly and then assessing whether or not I feel capable of engaging with them or not. But also setting boundaries or realizing they don't need to be enforced when my assessments were wrong (to an extent or completely - which is rare).
But I allow myself to be that since being wrong also opens a new opportunity to explore *why* I was wrong and learn something new again...which is still exciting, but getting increasingly rarer!
I really appreciate that these things (whatever it is that helps a person out, like saying something out loud, for example) are becoming more accepted these days because that's totally me. Also, when I do that, I actually remember more detail than most people would: i.e., : I'll remember the temperature or the weather, I'll remember what I was wearing, what time it was, who was with me, etc etc etc. All because it helps me, personally, to remember things period. But when I do, boy do I! Seriously! It's so crazy cool! Now I get why my friends tell me that I have such a good memory - it's that neurodivergence, I suppose. Well then, I'm totally ok with that 🙂
To be fair, I believe that's because I stop for just a few seconds to take everything in, just to make sure it translates from short-term memory into long-term memory
Omg’s! That happens to me so often!!! I get overwhelmed and just do nothing and then feel like 💩 about myself
Your little wiggle dance before the first tip immediately made me feel safe and at home 😂
tysm for sharing these tips!
I love these please keep them coming ❤
Thank you for your videos. I feel seen.