I feel like this almost every day. Then I just throw myself in to my current art/craft obsession to try to ignore and forget about the mess in my house.
My husband and I bought a small house. My parents are like when are you going to buy a larger house? I say never. I can't imagine having a bigger house. I'm regularly overwhelmed with it, but I'm working on it 😊.
As an autistic person with ADHD, an obstacle that I personally seem to have the hardest time overcoming is balancing that autistic need for routine with that ADHD need for novelty. If one of them doesn't trip me up, the other one does!
Wow, I haven’t been diagnosed with any but after watching this I can’t help but feel I have adhd (especially after the “things that distract neurotypical people actually help us concentrate” bit, cause in my worst times concentration wise I literally need to play Pirates of the Caribbean non-stop or else I can’t study-or driving, I need to listen to music I like to be concentrated, and I always felt it was like some part of my brain needed distraction for the functional one to actually function?). But then I didnt know what to think about avoiding routines cause I’m a literal mess anytime the least piece of my everyday routine changes, but then I also NEED novelty once and again or else I won’t do my chores or even get up from bed. I never considered more seriously that I might have adhd/autism as I’m doing now
Adhd and autism go together terrible I feel like, as fellow audhd-er. I struggle with both of those things as well but my bigger issue is my autism makes me struggle really bad with transition ls and task intention and I have terrible adhd paralysis so nothing ever gets done and I’m just swimming in anxiety. I itch my need for routine and novelty at the same time I try and split my life up into sections of routine and spontaneity which can bring it’s open troubles I have to deal with as they come up cause nothing is perfect but that does seem to help a little bit!
I'm permanently hyperfocused on my craft (polymer clay sculpture). They take 20 minutes to bake. So thats my cleaning timer. I *have* to move to put it in the oven so I just try to keep it going until it's cooked
I have three cleaning tips: 1. Light a candle. I learned this from accidentally Pavlov-ing myself. Find a smell you really love, and then only light that candle if you’re cleaning. When my parents were trying to sell our house I’d light a candle while I cleaned before a showing, then blow it out about an hour before we left, so that it would smell nice but not too strong when people got there. Now if I light a candle I have the urge to clean! 2. A robot vacuum is such a good little Buddy when you want to get things done. Feels like you’re doing two tasks at once! 3. Find something you really love to listen to, and then only listen to it while you’re cleaning. My big one right now is creepypasta narration. I put on a 30-40 minute story and see how much I can get done!
Ik this is niche, but if someone own reptiles they can also have a special cleaning only colonge/perfume instead of candles so the animals respiratory systems arent messed with. Also the scent follows you around for yardwork/large house cleaning
KC. Davis's book How To Keep House While Drowning genuinely changed my life and my perspective on care tasks/chores/etc, and I'm so glad you mentioned her. Her advice has been so incredibly helpful, and just, taking the shame out of housework has made it so much less overwhelming, stressful, and discouraging. It's still hard, but, making it even that much less monumentally draining has made such a difference in my life. ❤❤❤
I have a lot of things i need to repete to myself, the top 3 are : 1) "cleaning is a skill i can get better at" 2) "It all needs to get done, I just need to start where I want" [I get stuck on where I feel I *should* start]. 3) Dont put it down, put it away. [This has helped sooooo much]. Edit- i just did one more that I also do, stolen from Kill Bill "Wiggle your big toe" - and litterally start just wiggling my toes and bringing myself back into my body.
the idea of "good enough" is so so important, thank you for highlighting this mickey. I struggle with teeth brushing (which gets worse when depressive episodes hit, yay), and often i'm able to just do the once a day before bed, and i just gotta make peace with that and tell myself that it's "better than nothing".
Also.....how did you know I needed this video?!?! I have pretty severe ADHD and I struggle quite a bit. I am medicated for it, but that obviously doesn't just make everything perfect. So I still have a hard time with some things. Excited to watch! Here I go! ♡
I’m struggling with medication right now - it doesn’t make me feel very good 😅 so I’m super glad she made this video!! I need other ways to cope while I figure out if medication will work for me :)
@@HayleighPaige When you say it doesn't make you feel good, in what type of way? Like, how does it make you feel? More anxious? Orrrr? You definitely don't have to answer if you don't want to! But if you do want to, I'm fairly knowledgeable on the topic and would love to help! ♡
@@kassygendron3022 it makes my heart pound - my pulse doesn’t get faster necessarily, but I can just feel it pumping way harder and I feel short of breath. Not a fun feeling 😅
time blocking has helped me so much. i set a timer for 20 minutes and do a very specific task. keeping it specific and reminding myself that the task doesn’t need to be completed, keeps me from getting overwhelmed. i can then take a break and come back to it. also watching YT or listening to podcasts helps a bunch!
A trick I've found to get through my ADHD wall of awful is to bribe myself. Like if I know the closet needs to be cleaned, and I just can't make myself, I'll tell myself "If you clean out the closet, you can have a fancy cupcake from that bakery you love." That's usually the novelty motivation I need to get it done.
This video came at the perfect time: my 13-year-old was recently diagnosed with ADHD and with his diagnosis it’s made me realize that my own ADHD affects my life SO much more than I thought it did. My kid has been asking (practically begging) me for help on how he can stay on task when his mind just doesn’t want to do it, or tips of how to do homework that he finds painfully boring. I don’t really know how to help because I wasn’t diagnosed until after college and in elementary and middle school my method for dealing with that kind of homework was to smash the worksheet down to the bottom of my messy backpack, then pretend it didn’t exist. I already have a couple ideas of how I can help my kid (and myself) from watching this video.
I'm self diagnosed but having a favorite songs playing playing while studying or chores helps sooooooo much! That and podcasts or debates while cleaning or for sleeping. I am also Autistic though so idk if that makes much a difference!
Music really helps me too. At high school I had a different album for each subject. That helped at the year-end exams because I could imagine the album for that subject and it would help line up my brain.
I have finally embraced that my style of cleaning house is very similar to the children’s book If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. I can start in the kitchen but end up doing yard work via the bathroom sink. So I roll with it and keep a master checklist of all the stuff I have to do so I can remember to come back to it. And I start with one small task/room like the bathroom because it’s motivating to see one completed room. Breaks are needed throughout.
As someone with ADHD, I can attest that having videos on in the background while you do stuff is super helpful. This video helped to get me through my morning routine
I don't know if I have ADHD or any official neurodivergence, but it definitely takes me a LONG time to get myself motivated to do anything. Like, weeks. This includes work (I've been fortunate to have a job that let me work this way for the past number of years). And I just lean into it. I am who I am and I'll get to it when I get to it, and I already know it's gonna be amazing cuz I'm creative, smart, and f**king talented at everything I try.
I just wanted to share that I am a person with GAD and my therapist and I have gone over an ADHD diagnosis and decided that it doesn’t fit. A lot of my GAD symptoms present as symptoms typically associated with ADHD. Sometimes, when looking for resources like this video, I feel left out of the conversation because everything is so “people with ADHD” specific. I love that the language you use both points people with ADHD to these tips that can be helpful to them, but also doesn’t exclude people like me with these symptoms that arise from a different disorder. Your approach is always so inclusive to different neurodivergencies and I really appreciate that.
There is sooooo much overlap and everyone experiences things differently. I always have to remind myself that I’m free to use any of these strategies/advice that speaks to me. Glad you were able to find some helpful information!
Happy to see this comment as I myself wondered if I have ADHD but I'm leaning towards my issues being caused by anxiety. Nevertheless, a lot of ADHD advice is very helpful
So helpful! My task paralysis is real. Like it’s so hard to explain but I feel like I often lack that spur of the moment spark to start the engine. But when I do finally settle in to sitting down and doing course work, I can go for hours. More videos like this please ☺️
Same. Like every year, I wait until literally the last day to do my taxes, because no matter how much i yell at myself that I need to do them, I just freaking can't. I can't make myself do the stupid thing. Even though I know that it wont actually take that long or be that bad and that I can knock it out in an hour. But like I just can't find the will to do it until it's literally the 18th and I have to do it that day or else the world collapses. Wish I could find a system to overcome task paralysis that wasn't dependent on waiting until consequences of NOT doing the thing are so great that they outweigh my task paralysis. I don't even know if that make sense, but hopefully someone understands
@@bottomofastairwell I TOTALLY understand. I'm always waiting til the last minute to do everything! I think it has to do with the little adrenaline rush we get from "living on the edge" that helps spur us on, because if we don't get whatever done, the consequences will follow, and those consequences trigger the adrenaline. One thing I've tried that usually works for me is planting the deadline in my brain earlier than it actually is, and better yet, make yourself accountable to someone. Here's a couple examples: 1. Keep telling yourself taxes are due April 10th. "I gotta get the taxes done by April 10th." Make a deal with your partner to hold you accountable. "If I don't get the taxes done by April 10th and show them to my partner, I'll have to do the dishes for a month!" I usually don't have to do the consequences part, but if I plant that new date in my head over and over, it usually works. 2. You have a paper due. Tell someone you need them to proofread it for you a week before it's due. Plant it in your head that THAT is the due date. By finishing it by THAT due date, and having someone proof read it for you, you then have that extra week to make any revisions and turning in, on time, an even better paper! I have a horrible memory, and that might be why this usually works for me, lol! Sometimes I've convinced myself so well that I really don't remember the actual due date! In the case of a date that everyone knows and is in all of our memories, like how taxes are due April 15th, it's a little harder, but that's where having a consequence can help nudge us along. I also have sticky notes everywhere to remind me, and if I have a lot going on, I'll write out what to do each day on this pad of paper I have that's a weekly planner that each sheet can be pulled off and kept close to me and then thrown away. Having that visual of the due date getting closer and closer helps push me to do it, too. A bonus with that is that things I don't get done from one week can be transferred to the following week if need be, too. Well good luck! Hope that helps you or somebody out there! 😊
@@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane I set alarms that way. if i have to catch a flight and need to be at the airport by 4, i ACTUALLY need to be there by 3. (and sometimes i'll see that the time is 3 so much leading up to it that i forget i changed the time on myself, lol) my biggest problems are with remembering to do general maintenance/upkeep crap that there's no real due date on. like making dr appointments. i'm ALWAYS overdue for my annual physical, because there's not a deadline for that kind of thing. but maybe i need to just start creating deadlines for stuff like that. it HAS to get done by this date or else... i dunno what. that's the trouble. there's no consequences, so there's no stakes. and it becomes very easy to be like "eh, i'll just call tomorrow, i don't feel like it right now." and somehow tomorrow turns into 7 months, lol
@@bottomofastairwell Haha! I'm glad I'm not the only one that forgets the real time of something over the time I put in my head! 🤣 Too funny! Okay, that makes me feel less crazy, thank you! Yeah, I don't know... those random ones are tough. My To Do List always seems to be full of those and they're always last because there's always something more pressing to do. I've often thought about creating a yearly calendar for maintenance stuff, but never get around to it. Like, "clean flower beds and birdhouses out by October 15th" or something like that. I end up asking my doctor (way too often!) to remind me, "When is my mammogram due again??" So she keeps track of that stuff for me. I have to see her every 3 months for my medication anyway, so things like that don't ever get too far behind luckily. I'm an X-ray Tech, so I see the consequences of *not* getting those preventative tests done... so make sure you get those, please! Yes! Phone calls are THE WORST!!! I've had phone calls I've needed to make for over a year... ugh, terrible! Then when I actually accomplish them, they usually only take like, 5 minutes. Such a silly bunch we are, lol!
@@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane i work in a hospital, so yeah, I get it. Thankfully my sister is a nurse, also responsible and driven, so she'll nag me for important stuff. That's the system I got right for important stuff, lol. OK, and WHY are phone calls so hard? I got a new bank card like 3 weeks ago cuz my old one wouldn't tap anymore and it even started not wanting to work when you insert the chip. Anyway, it took me 2 and a half weeks to activate it, coz I just kept... not calling. It's an automated number that I can do any time, literally 24/7. It took literally 30 seconds. Why was that so hard? Why can't I EVER seem to just pick up the damn phone to call and make a stupid appointment. It'll take five minutes, not even. But for real, WHY is using the phone so goddamn difficult? Yeah, I'm not diagnosed, but at this point, I'm pretty goddamned convinced I'm ADHD
I've been researching a lot about ADHD and neurodivergence recently. I'm an adult woman- age 26. I've never been diagnosed with neurodivergence aside from anxiety and depression. I've been finding I relate very strongly to the struggles of people with ADHD and/or autism and that the tips that help people with such neurodivergences help me greatly. I'm beginning to wonder if I should look into being diagnosed. Thanks for the video!
8:00 " . . . the things that are distracting to your brain specifically." Yes! Doctors and people in general don't get this! I need my specific paper piles separate from each other, not in one big basket, within arm's reach, but DO NOT turn on the TV or a podcast when I'm trying to do the papers! Music helps.
We just started doing cold calling at my job and I am so behind my peers. I have such a hard time getting started and it brings me such anxiety. It takes me half the day to get started, but I find once I start, I can continue. I found really great tools for my anxiety, but I'm finding I'll still do literally anything other than pick the phone to talk to a stranger, who may get upset at me.
Fellow ADHDer here. It’s striking to me how the majority of the creators I follow on RUclips also have ADHD but I only found out about it after I started following them because their content is not ADHD-specific. I do follow ADHD-specific creators as well, but I’m grateful for an ADHD therapist’s perspective!
I am a RUclipsr… with serious ADHD…. This video is so helpful and inspiring. Most days I feel like I’m just counting down the days until I am dead and can finally find peace. Peace…. What an amazing experience that must be. Thanks and keep creating!
After 40 years, I finally found a cleaning system that worked for my family (My husband, my kids, and I all have ADHD & Autism so it's been a life long struggle to keep things organized). First of all, I had to come to terms with the fact that I had too much stuff for myself to manage and I need less stuff than the average person in order to keep the house tidy. My motivation to clean is usually that we don't allow any screen time till certain tasks are complete, and the whole family holds each other to it. We don't let the kids watch TV till they're finished, so it forces me to stick to it too as an example to the kids. We can avoid housework and do non-screen activities... but that won't last long. But we really only have a few MUST DO tasks. 1) pick up garbage. It usually takes 2 mins to go around the house and make sure there isn't any garbage on the floor 2) wash dishes. The rule is that you wash your own dish right after a meal (again, it takes 2 mins at most). We've only been able to keep up with dishes since our dishwasher broke down. Before that, we would pile them into the dishwasher and then the dishwasher would never get unloaded and dishes would pile in the sink. Now we wash them immediately and they're done. It was hard for the first few months, but now, even my kids can quickly wash their dishes without even thinking about it, it's just a part of meal time (and they can't watch TV till they're done) 3) do laundry. first, scan the room (or whole house) and see if there's any clothes laying around. I have enough of most clothes to go a little over a week before I NEED to do laundry, but I usually end up doing it on the same day because it's a habit. I wash the sheets and put them right back onto the bed so I don't have to fold them, and I don't bother separating any of the clothes, I just wash it all cold and it's fine. I also don't buy anything that has special washing instructions or it will never get washed. I fold me and my husband's clothes at the same time as my kids fold their clothes (they also wash their own clothes) and we have a race to see who can fold the fastest. I have trained them to separate their clothes into piles (a pile of socks, pants, shirts, etc) and work on one small pile at a time instead of having one big mess of clothes which is overwhelming. 4) this is optional depending on how the day is going, but pick up any clutter and put it where it belongs. It's usually just a mug got left on the counter or some cards are on the floor or something that really only takes about 2 mins to tidy up. 5) do actual cleaning (again, this is optional). If everything is tidied, it really doesn't take that long to quickly vacuum the floors (I wipe down counters after dishes are done since I'm holding the dishcloth anyway and it'll bug me if the dishes are clean but the counter/table is a mess). The bathroom is the hardest, even though it's kept tidy (we take things straight out of the drawer and put them straight back in when we're done using them and we have a few things on the counter in baskets that can get moved into a cupboard if guests come over). It doesn't take long to clean the bathroom if you do it weekly, but it's still really hard. I used to invite my clean freak mom over once a week for a visit and I would feel the need to panic clean before she got here. I still use the same general idea (having guests come over), but I've been keeping it clean enough that I can do a quick clean in about 10 mins and I don't have to spend 30 mins scrubbing a tub. Any other cleaning tasks get done when we get extra motivation to do them, and often we create the extra motivation by giving ourselves some kind of deadline (like offer to give someone a ride so you have to clean the car or have an outdoor birthday party so you have to tend the yard). But this was a huge process for me. I used to have a constant pile of dishes in the sink... and on the stove top... and sometimes even in the oven and on counters and on the kitchen table. I didn't think it would be possible to keep it clean with ADHD. I wanted to set a better example for my kids and teach them how to take care of a house, so I had to figure out how to do it first. If I do have a big list that I need to do, I break it into small tasks and give myself a reward after each task (like reading a chapter of a book). It doesn't always work, but it's a tool I often use if I don't have a looming deadline.
This came up in my notifications and I teared up lol This med shortage is killing me, so I’m super grateful for any tips at all as I try to get through it. 💓💓 and I really love the way you share info, so thank you for this!!
ugh, the med shortage is killing me too. i instead have to take my afternoon med 4-5 times today 😳 like, has my psychiatrist ever MET me?? i can barely remember to take it ONCE a day. and, i feel like it’s the worst timing. right before final exams and papers due and end of semester presentations 😭
Occupational Therapist here and documentation is the worst. I get task paralysis with it and I have thought for sure I was going to be fired because of it before and it's still a fear of mine.
Same here! Documentation is the worst. Constantly behind. This is actually what drove me actually get the official diagnosis as the first step in asking for accommodations
The switching things up and newness/novelty is one of the reasons I absolutely LOVE ClickUp as my project management tool. There are so many different ways you can use it and view it and change the layouts, so when I get bored with one I can switch it up. The past couple of days I've been using a different view for my blog posts projects for my client. Instead of viewing it by project status (To-Do, In Progress, & Done), I've been viewing it by what stage of the project I'm in (research, outlining, drafting, editing, formatting & links, & upload to Google drive folder). Just that one small change helped so much, but I do plan revamping & reorganizing how all my projects are set up in there. Haven't done a huge overall of the whole thing since I started using it almost two year ago, so definitely in need of setting up a new system cause I'm starting to get bored and ignore some of the tasks. Also, would love to see more ADHD tips, especially if you have any tips on gamifying tasks. I'm trying to learn more about gamifying different things to help get stuff done.
As a fellow clincian with ADHD. I have been STRUGGLING with progress notes. Dear God, I'm avoiding it like the fucking plague, and it makes me feel so bad.
Haven't watching in a minute. Your hair looks great! Can't wait to watch this. IDK if I have ADHD, but I feel like I'm a person with ADHD lol. Edit: I watched! I like what you said about novelty. Sometimes I get disappointed in myself when I don't stick to a system and I'm constantly cycling through different ways of doing tasks to keep me productive. I need to let go of finding "THE SYSTEM" that will finally work for me and just embrace that none of them work AND all of them work at the same time.
To me, its not about getting rid of distractions, but getting the right distractions, distractions that are inspiring. But if it you hyper focus on it... gotta stop yourself. It's really hard but you gotta. But ideally the "distraction" will make you think about your task enough that it will encourage you.
this video just helped me realize that the neurotypical "five minute rule" of starting a task i don't want to will not work for me bc of task initiation being a monumental feat in the first place and that i defy the law of "objects in motion will stay in motion" LOOOOL . also u are so right about how neurodiverse ppl and neurotypicals perceive different things as distractable. aaahhhh this is so difficult to navigate now i have to unlearn everything as a newly diagnosed adhd girl
I wasn't aware that you were neurodivergent before watching this, but it makes sense. Your content is much more helpful than the neurotypical advice from therapists that I've had that just doesn't work. I'm dyspraxic, autistic and I'm pretty sure I also have ADHD. Some mental health professionals look at that and run a mile.
Wow! Wow wow wow!!! Getting out of bed is a sore spot for me. Just staying in bed sounds so much easier. I'm gonna try tonight putting all my morning things on my night stand.. Maybe even my note book so I can write down all my to dos and keep my gym clothes nearby so I can just change in my bed.. This is brilliant thinking. I have so much more to give in the evening to set morning me up for success!!
when I discovered podcasts like 10 years ago now (thank you Serial) it completely changed my productivity. If I can have a podcast, YT show etc playing, I can do SO MUCH.
The one about not all distractions are the same is so validating, every time a neurotypical person tells me to just limit distractions I get so annoyed because their suggestions are always the things that actually help me do the tasks.
You had me at #1! I wish I had received this lesson when I was going through counseling for ADHD in the 90s. For me, all of the lists planners, timers, and parental support worked for a time, but I would continually find myself back in the same cycles. It wasn't until I learned more recently about ADHD and started giving myself permission to be myself. To me, that sounds ridiculous, but for someone who has struggled for so long to "fit in" and be productive by neurotypical standards, it was quite a release to understand it from a different angle. That's one of many reasons I'm grateful for you and your channel and all the information!
YES!! This was so incredibly helpful. I have new ideas to try, and this helped me realize that it's fine that I keep rotating through my bullet journal - happy planner - habitica - totally winging it systems. I would definitely love more of this.
Ironically, I had this in my 'watch later' for a few days. I'm currently in my second-last year of high school and a total perfectionist and with awful task paralysis, and I'm trying to learn to manage my tasks better and get over the perfectionism, but one of the challenges is actually finding what strategies work for *me* VS. what suggested ones are very Neurotypical-Based. So this is hugely helpful! No matter how many times I hear it, being reminded that it's not a personal/moral failing to not have everything done or done well is incredibly reassuring. Thank you so much for making this :)
I didn't expect this video to speak to me! I haven't received an official diagnosis, but the more I learn about the symptoms and habits of ADHD, the more I see it in myself. I didn't even know task paralysis was a term, or that there was even a term for that feeling. I have questioned why it feels impossible to initiate tasks, even if it's the most miniscule chore; like is it really just that easy to set a chore chart? I'll definitely keep this video in my back pocket, thank you Mickey!
Same! I don't have any formal diagnosis, but I'm 99% convinced I'm done kind of neuro divergent. Because everything i learn about adhd just fits. And like, i can't even describe the way it feels to be incapable of staring things to people. Like just do the damn thing. But it's like I'm literally paralyzed, like just the thought of doing the thing is so much that I can't even move or get out of bed, let alone start. I'm like that with my taxes. And the only thing that "works" is waiting until literally the 18th, until the consequences of NOT doing them are so bad that it forces me to overcome my task paralysis. I wish I could figure out how to get over that though. Coz like, I'll go months without making a doctor's appointment that I know I need to make, just because I can't seem to pick up the phone and make the appointment. If someone makes out for me, I have no issue going and seeing the doctor, but for some reason it's so hard just to make that stupid phone call.
I don't heat up my bedroom, I like sleeping in a cold room, I sleep better etc. But: I hate getting out of my warm and comfy bed into this cold room. I just bought myself one of those blanket hoodies in my favorite color - absolute gamechanger. Its at the headrest and easy to put on, it'll give me a silly giggle (I'm a purple cloud! look at me!) and removes the scary part of getting cold shoulders and to be cold the first minutes of the day. Love it!
It‘s funny that you talked about starting your morning routine in bed cuz I started watching this video in bed and it helped me get up and get ready for the day!
this is so helpful! I feel like so much of ADHD advice is created by Neurotypical people. Lol. Like some advice will literally be like “create a routine for yourself.” lol. That’s obviously not realistic. The permission and grace you offer is so refreshing and very needed.
Gaaaah you really speak at the perfect speed for me! I had no idea how much I need that more in my life. Not only do I have ADHD, but I live in the south.... I am feeling so comforted right now!
Oh my word. THANK YOU. I just recently realized oh my goodness I think I've had undiagnosed ADHD for 31 years and getting a diagnosis is so overwhelming right now. I'd have to like make an appointment and then schedule around it 😅😅😅 I literally just had a conversation trying to explain my executive functioning issues to my husband right before I opened up RUclips and felt really discouraged, so this was so very timely. Please do more ADHD stuff!!
I just wanted to say that I really love how you use the word "honour". In talking about my needs I think I've internalised the idea that my needs are a burden or are an inconvenience to myself and others. But you're the word "honour" that I've been hearing in the last few videos of yours I have watched is encouraging me to be softer to myself and I want to thank you for that and for the work that you do ♡
Considering I spent an hour calling the pharmacies in my area (nearly everyone is out of my meds), this is a well-timed video! Love finding new coping strategies
5:45 you were saying this while I was listening to this video while doing a task! something I found helpful lately is if I need to start doing my homework but I'm stuck watching youtube videos is to just start doing it while still listening to the video. This makes it easier for my brain to "glide into" a new task. I will eventually turn off the video so I can focus better, but it feels a lot less harsh.
This made me so happy because VALIDATION, but also made me tear up a little bit because I've tried to defend the same points at work and to my friends and family and people just don't get it. Most people don't even want to consider that not everything might work the way they think. Example - I get in trouble at work with one higher-up for listening to music/podcasts while working. I try to explain that these things help me concentrate. The lady straight up tells me that it's not possible, these things are just distractions. I was literally all alone in that office all day, behind a sound-proof door, so it wasn't even about distracting others, just me. I wish I could embrace my ADHD at work instead of trying to blend in with neurotypical people so they would feel more comfortable (thus damaging my performance, ironically), I've been trying to advocate for myself, but I lose every time.
I literally picked this video to watch while I did dishes because it was under 15 minutes. I promised myself that I would never have to spend more than 15 minutes at a time doing dishes (after the catastrophic build up in 2018 after my divorce) (I let them build up too much, there was no longer a partner to share the task, the more they built up, the more daunting the task, the harder it was to start) And thus, once I finally found enough executive function to clean up the mess, I promised myself that as long as I could do them at least every other day then I would never make myself do the task for any longer than 15 minutes at a time. .. there were a few false starts.. though it never got quite that bad again. And sometimes I will only wash what I need, or give myself permission to be 'lazy' and wait till tomorrow. BUT sometimes my 15 minute timer goes off and I see there's only one or two dishes left and I'm like "I'm already here, my hands are already wet, why don't I just finish them?" It's the self compassion for me.
I only recently realized and was diagnosed as (Au)ADHD, and it's completely informed why I struggle so much in ways other people don't. Due to some other health issues, I cannot be medicated for my ADHD (at least with stimulants?) and so I would very very much appreciate some more tips and tricks. This video is amazing and I plan to apply so much of it to my day to day in order to hopefully improve functioning!
Oh wow such great advice that I already know but keep forgetting. I know I have adhd and that effects the way I live life but yet and still I keep letting the feeling of not being "normal" and stuggling with things that other ppl seem to just do so easily, get to me. My whole life I've been told I have so much potential and need to tap into it, and I'm always trying my best, though it seems like ppl can't see that.
Timers are my favorite! When cleaning is becoming overwhelming, I give myself 20 min per room. It equals out to a couple hours. Otherwise I tell myself "I'm going to spend all day cleaning!" which is not always realistic and maintainable. Or if I have some spare time I set a timer and get done whatever I can in that amount of time and usually I am surprised with how much I got done in even 10 minutes.
Thank you for posting this. I have ADHD and this is really helpful. I've had to tell myself when doing tasks it doesn't have to be all or nothing. If I'm doing laundry, for instance, and don't have the energy to fold the clothes, I'll just pull out work clothes.
Yes, this is very helpful. Please do more. I have a book I want to read but it's kind of dry, it's a textbook, and my brain is trying to figure out a way to read it without getting bored or distracted by the distraction.
I found an acronym that helps with task initiation sometimes through a podcast. if I have been avoiding/putting off something for a while it can help to walk through it. S.T.R.E.S.S. S: Steps (what are the specific first 2-4 steps you need to do to initiate the task. ie. dishes= 1. change into a short sleeve shirt 2. stack dishes) T: Thoughts (what are the looping thoughts going on in your brain? do they need to be addressed, reframed, challenged, accepted, talked through with a support person) R: Research (do you have enough information to get started? maybe before starting we need to learn more about the thing. if you need to research maybe set a timer so the rabbit hole doesn't get too deep) E: Emotions/trauma (if the task is activating in some way for you you might want to delegate. find a therapist to help you unpack if it's impacting your daily life. lean on reframing thoughts again) S: Sensory/over or under Stimulation (is there an accommodation you can make for yourself. adding music, podcast, tv show or putting on gloves to do dishes. light a smelly candle.) S: Self-care (in terms of basic care tasks. sleep, water, food, social connection, physical activity) from the podcast: coordinating chaos with the ADHD lady - episode called "stress tool"
Omg this makes me so happy to have my diagnosis!!! Before, I had no idea why I couldn’t keep things tidy and Prestine. I have never EVER heard anyone say “If you can’t get out of bed that day…stay in bed”!!!😮 Four years ago this might’ve alleviated my shame for having SUCH a hard time getting up everyday! I love therapists ❤that’s have ADHD y’all are the best. You get it and you have the absolute best advice specifically for us. I’m subscribing after watching this! Thank you
I dont even remember what you talked about but this video left me with a comforting validating feeling. At min 2 i was already crying 😭 I knew i was different since little but its only a few years since i started learning about neurodivergency and its kinda relieving although i dont like to tell ppl 'hey i got this diagnosis' expecting that would keep them from judging me. I dont need a license to be different, they are the ones that need to expand their conceptions about the infinite ways of feeling, thinking and functioning a person might have. Anyway, ty for this video ❤
I love that you posted this right as I decided to give up on trying to do anything productive today. I'll take this as a sign to give it another try 😅 Thank you for all the wonderfully helpful content! 💜
I've been doing the small time block thing almost instinctively for many years. I am fortunate to have found a job that can facilitate that. I find that sometimes my efforts to add interest to the boring tasks become distracting. It's hard to find a balance. I like the idea of doing things 'good enough'. It's very helpful. Pets are great for getting me out of bed! Gotta fill and empty them. I hang other routines that need to get done on that routine. Bathroom (pee, hair, teeth) kitchen (feed cats, make coffee and food) desk (makeup, work). For my dad, who also has ADHD and is a stroke survivor, my mom put Post-it notes all over. The one in the bathroom says hair, teeth, ears (hearing aids). He does very well with it. The place is associated with the tasks. Helps avoid overwhelm by not having to think about what we're supposed to be doing.
Thank you for this video!! When it comes to tasks I don't want to do, like cleaning when I am not in a cleaning mood, I have found that picking just one thing to clean/organize and viewing it as progress has been SO helpful. Things like grabbing two dishes from my room and bringing it to the kitchen when I'm heading to the bathroom, or just making my bed. Sometimes it motivates me to do more, sometimes it just makes my space look cleaner. I also write down my tasks and have stopped giving myself a time limit on non-time sensitive things, and use music to gauge how much time I've used. I'm 27 and wasn't diagnosed until I was 20, and my entire experience thus far has been, "How can adapt this so I don't overload my brain?". I'm a preschool special education teacher too, and many of the strategies that work for my adult brain work for 3-5 year-old brains, too! My teaching philosophy includes empowering even the littlest brains, and that includes making sure they know they have the tools to help them, and that they CAN do anything they set their mind to even if it takes a little longer- things that I wish I had when I was younger.
thank you for talking about morning routines. I have felt so pressured by it and just end up in paralysis many times with so many things i could do in my head. I haven't heard anyone regarding ADHD on youtube yet talk about morning routines and the difficulty trying to do what you see possible neurotypical folk say they do. This year I am coming to terms seeing how my behavior is very adhd and I have attempted to get diagnosed but the paperwork is something i am procrastinating on. either way thank you
More videos on this please! I find it incredibly difficult to focus on important work tasks (I work remotely) and will literally clean my entire house, garden, decorate, or build some thing rather than focusing on what pays the bills. It sucks.
I havent watched this yet but i already know this is going to be the only good advice video i will have watched in the last 3 years of being diagnosed! I already know this isnt going to be about kids, boys, etc. And i know its not going to be something like: try and planner or post it notes. With those types of videos i always end up saying out loud: thanks sharon, i definitely havent tried that?!
Ok so after watching 10 mins of it, they are a lil basic tips... No hate, just being honest. However, i do appreciate the fact that they are all good tips, even if i personally was looking for some more advanced advice, because ive have been to a therapist before (shocking ik) and this is basically the first therapy session of any person with adhd. Definitely good advice, was just hoping shed dig a little deeper than 1mm into this titanic sized iceberg
I love timers! I recently discovered pomodoro timers, where you spend 25 minutes working on something and then get a 5 minute brain break, and I love them for when I sit down to write! They are all over RUclips too, so if you can deal with a single ad at the beginning, they're totally free.
i have two of those timer things - a yellow cube and a mint green hexagon and they're really cool! ive had pomodoro apps on my phone for years but i always forget about them the timers are great, they're magnetic, have little countdown circles (broken into quarters)... i highly recommend EXCEPT they can be pretty expensive :/
You get me!!!! Thank you Asking for help is super hard, rather be burned at the stake, but learning to. It helps to know that I can ask for help that is different than the neurotypical
honestly so validating to hear you say that not only can certain things be *more* distracting, but certain other things can be *less* distracting than they are for neurotypicals. my parents definitely had an attitude of "ur getting distracted so we have to take away all distractions" which ended up taking away things that actually *helped* me focus like stim toys and music. its something im still unlearning and it feels really good to see others talking about that
Right? Like music is my everything. The right music or TV show (something I've seen a hundred times and already know so well I don't have to pay close attention to) helps me focus on the thing I need to do. Random other stuff that isn't a problem for anyone else will trip me up though, like good firebox there's a fork on my desk. Then obviously I have to get up and go put that fork in the dishwasher. And then while I'm at it, I might as well clean the whole kitchen. And then vacuum the house. And then... oh crap, the thing i was supposed to do isn't done
RUclipsrs always say "share the video!" and tbh I usually don't 😬 but this time I did! Because my roommate is in the midst of discovering that he probably, most likely, *definitely* has ADHD. Hopefully he watches and finds this helpful. I've actually been diagnosed with ADHD twice; the first time was years ago when I'd only just started therapy (I wasn't even looking for a diagnosis, but the person I was seeing at the time just seemed to *know* after talking to me probably thrice, and I was like yeah, that checks out), while the second time was because I saw a neuropsychologist for an autism assessment, and I got an ADHD diagnosis in addition to the ASD diagnosis. 🎉
What do you do about the ... I don't know... emotional turmoil? that comes both with being forced to focus on something intolerable or uninteresting at the time, as well as the being forced to pivot from a task you are hyperfixated on? Or when you want to hyperfixate on something, but your obligations are requiring you to remain aware and engaged with several dozen things? I produce great work and achieve impressive results when hyperfixation hits. I came home from work to find my neighbors had hauled a hollow bench to the curb because of torn pleather from their cat, stared at it in silence for a solid minute while I saw everything unfold in my head, and then hauled into my house and completely reupholstered and repaired it in three hours with materials I already had. I have never reupholstered anything in my life. But that task hit me and I fell into it, and it was great. When I get into a task, I just really disappear into it. So it's a shame working in a news station means my attention must constantly be divided at all times. I asked when I was hired to wear headphones when I get overwhelmed and was essentially told no, I had to listen for breaking on the scanners. Whether it's writing three articles at once, scouring for leads, answering the phone, fixing tech issues, monitoring analytics, checking five different inboxes, cutting up clips for the website, editing reporter packages.... Sometimes all of those at the same time... That can be fine in short bursts, but the second I start writing an article I'm actually interested in? I can't tell you how sour I get when I'm told to do something else. I had to leave early one day, it got that bad. You'd think after two years, I'd adjust, but naw.... I didn't know emotional regulation was an issue for ADHD until I was diagnosed well into adulthood, and while I have a lot of DBT under my belt as treatment for BPD, I find the distress tolerant skills don''t work as well for ADHD. It feels like the ADHD should have practical and applicable solutions, whereas the BPD is just like... trying to reason with a toddler all the time. Similar, kind of... But not... BPD feels reactive to external events. ADHD feels like it starts inside. It's weird...
This was sooo helpful to me!!! I struggle with a lot of the things you mentioned and the tips are very good. I need to look at my distractions because you are so right. My phone ends up being the worst one so I will start there.
One thing i loved abour my last job, was the entire crew of people that i worked with were nuerodivergent. We used the term power hour, but only as a signal that it was the last hour of our shift. It was used more as a way to pump ourselves up as we are mentally or physically dragging. Especially if it was friday, where at the end of power hour. We all went to get a group ice cream. As well as using it as a almost verbal reminder. To step back and look at what we are doing and think about how long it would actuality take is to finish.
Putting my morning ADHD meds with a bottle of water next to my bed to take them at my first (of many) alarms, is one of the things of the "good enough" that is surprisingly helpful.
Would love more videos like this. I'm autistic, but my partner is polyennic/adhd and I've been trying to figure out/find ways to make our shared space more accepting and conducive to each of our strengths and challenges. My partner struggles with self reflection / self monitoring so they aren't full of ideas, but are willing to try things and give feedback when I set something up.
Can totally relate! My desk has to be completely clean. Moreover, the shelving unit is behind me so I cannot see it and the phone charger is far from the desk. However, I do have a giant stien of water on the desk and a small massage ball under the desk, because fidgeting can't be helped and this way I'm stationary enough to get some things done. P.S.- I try to limit sitting on a rolling chair in odd position, due do having face plummeted onto the marble floor and getting injured.
Does anybody else ever feel like just throwing your whole house away and starting over cause it’s too overwhelming to clean and tidy?
I feel like this almost every day.
Then I just throw myself in to my current art/craft obsession to try to ignore and forget about the mess in my house.
I just threw out an area rug yesterday because it's too hard to clean haha
Dishes = gone
Absolutely 🤣
My husband and I bought a small house. My parents are like when are you going to buy a larger house? I say never. I can't imagine having a bigger house. I'm regularly overwhelmed with it, but I'm working on it 😊.
As an autistic person with ADHD, an obstacle that I personally seem to have the hardest time overcoming is balancing that autistic need for routine with that ADHD need for novelty. If one of them doesn't trip me up, the other one does!
Same here.
Wow, I haven’t been diagnosed with any but after watching this I can’t help but feel I have adhd (especially after the “things that distract neurotypical people actually help us concentrate” bit, cause in my worst times concentration wise I literally need to play Pirates of the Caribbean non-stop or else I can’t study-or driving, I need to listen to music I like to be concentrated, and I always felt it was like some part of my brain needed distraction for the functional one to actually function?). But then I didnt know what to think about avoiding routines cause I’m a literal mess anytime the least piece of my everyday routine changes, but then I also NEED novelty once and again or else I won’t do my chores or even get up from bed. I never considered more seriously that I might have adhd/autism as I’m doing now
Adhd and autism go together terrible I feel like, as fellow audhd-er. I struggle with both of those things as well but my bigger issue is my autism makes me struggle really bad with transition ls and task intention and I have terrible adhd paralysis so nothing ever gets done and I’m just swimming in anxiety. I itch my need for routine and novelty at the same time I try and split my life up into sections of routine and spontaneity which can bring it’s open troubles I have to deal with as they come up cause nothing is perfect but that does seem to help a little bit!
I'm permanently hyperfocused on my craft (polymer clay sculpture). They take 20 minutes to bake. So thats my cleaning timer. I *have* to move to put it in the oven so I just try to keep it going until it's cooked
@@GrammyKeena Clever!
As a fellow ADHDer, more videos like this would be incredibly helpful.
Yes please! If you have any specific financial tips/ tools for ADHD folks that would be super helpful!
I have three cleaning tips:
1. Light a candle. I learned this from accidentally Pavlov-ing myself. Find a smell you really love, and then only light that candle if you’re cleaning. When my parents were trying to sell our house I’d light a candle while I cleaned before a showing, then blow it out about an hour before we left, so that it would smell nice but not too strong when people got there. Now if I light a candle I have the urge to clean!
2. A robot vacuum is such a good little Buddy when you want to get things done. Feels like you’re doing two tasks at once!
3. Find something you really love to listen to, and then only listen to it while you’re cleaning. My big one right now is creepypasta narration. I put on a 30-40 minute story and see how much I can get done!
I love tip #1!
Ik this is niche, but if someone own reptiles they can also have a special cleaning only colonge/perfume instead of candles so the animals respiratory systems arent messed with. Also the scent follows you around for yardwork/large house cleaning
KC. Davis's book How To Keep House While Drowning genuinely changed my life and my perspective on care tasks/chores/etc, and I'm so glad you mentioned her. Her advice has been so incredibly helpful, and just, taking the shame out of housework has made it so much less overwhelming, stressful, and discouraging. It's still hard, but, making it even that much less monumentally draining has made such a difference in my life. ❤❤❤
I listened to the audiobook while cleaning :) it was short and wonderful
Thank you! Going to request this book.
Mine too!!!!
I have a lot of things i need to repete to myself, the top 3 are : 1) "cleaning is a skill i can get better at" 2) "It all needs to get done, I just need to start where I want" [I get stuck on where I feel I *should* start]. 3) Dont put it down, put it away. [This has helped sooooo much].
Edit- i just did one more that I also do, stolen from Kill Bill "Wiggle your big toe" - and litterally start just wiggling my toes and bringing myself back into my body.
the idea of "good enough" is so so important, thank you for highlighting this mickey. I struggle with teeth brushing (which gets worse when depressive episodes hit, yay), and often i'm able to just do the once a day before bed, and i just gotta make peace with that and tell myself that it's "better than nothing".
Also.....how did you know I needed this video?!?! I have pretty severe ADHD and I struggle quite a bit. I am medicated for it, but that obviously doesn't just make everything perfect. So I still have a hard time with some things. Excited to watch! Here I go! ♡
Same here! X
I’m struggling with medication right now - it doesn’t make me feel very good 😅 so I’m super glad she made this video!! I need other ways to cope while I figure out if medication will work for me :)
I take it as a testament to how many people feel about the same way :(
@@HayleighPaige When you say it doesn't make you feel good, in what type of way? Like, how does it make you feel? More anxious? Orrrr? You definitely don't have to answer if you don't want to! But if you do want to, I'm fairly knowledgeable on the topic and would love to help! ♡
@@kassygendron3022 it makes my heart pound - my pulse doesn’t get faster necessarily, but I can just feel it pumping way harder and I feel short of breath. Not a fun feeling 😅
keep getting six minutes into the video and then having to restart because I realize that I lost focus! ADHD is great
time blocking has helped me so much. i set a timer for 20 minutes and do a very specific task. keeping it specific and reminding myself that the task doesn’t need to be completed, keeps me from getting overwhelmed. i can then take a break and come back to it. also watching YT or listening to podcasts helps a bunch!
A trick I've found to get through my ADHD wall of awful is to bribe myself. Like if I know the closet needs to be cleaned, and I just can't make myself, I'll tell myself "If you clean out the closet, you can have a fancy cupcake from that bakery you love." That's usually the novelty motivation I need to get it done.
This video came at the perfect time: my 13-year-old was recently diagnosed with ADHD and with his diagnosis it’s made me realize that my own ADHD affects my life SO much more than I thought it did.
My kid has been asking (practically begging) me for help on how he can stay on task when his mind just doesn’t want to do it, or tips of how to do homework that he finds painfully boring.
I don’t really know how to help because I wasn’t diagnosed until after college and in elementary and middle school my method for dealing with that kind of homework was to smash the worksheet down to the bottom of my messy backpack, then pretend it didn’t exist.
I already have a couple ideas of how I can help my kid (and myself) from watching this video.
I'm self diagnosed but having a favorite songs playing playing while studying or chores helps sooooooo much! That and podcasts or debates while cleaning or for sleeping. I am also Autistic though so idk if that makes much a difference!
Music really helps me too. At high school I had a different album for each subject. That helped at the year-end exams because I could imagine the album for that subject and it would help line up my brain.
I have finally embraced that my style of cleaning house is very similar to the children’s book If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. I can start in the kitchen but end up doing yard work via the bathroom sink. So I roll with it and keep a master checklist of all the stuff I have to do so I can remember to come back to it.
And I start with one small task/room like the bathroom because it’s motivating to see one completed room.
Breaks are needed throughout.
As someone with ADHD, I can attest that having videos on in the background while you do stuff is super helpful. This video helped to get me through my morning routine
Yes! It used to distract me, but I love it now. But when I’m reading for school, I can’t lol.
@@msmistim lmao if I need to fully concentrate on something, I just use Spotify to blast music
I don't know if I have ADHD or any official neurodivergence, but it definitely takes me a LONG time to get myself motivated to do anything. Like, weeks. This includes work (I've been fortunate to have a job that let me work this way for the past number of years).
And I just lean into it.
I am who I am and I'll get to it when I get to it, and I already know it's gonna be amazing cuz I'm creative, smart, and f**king talented at everything I try.
I just wanted to share that I am a person with GAD and my therapist and I have gone over an ADHD diagnosis and decided that it doesn’t fit. A lot of my GAD symptoms present as symptoms typically associated with ADHD. Sometimes, when looking for resources like this video, I feel left out of the conversation because everything is so “people with ADHD” specific. I love that the language you use both points people with ADHD to these tips that can be helpful to them, but also doesn’t exclude people like me with these symptoms that arise from a different disorder. Your approach is always so inclusive to different neurodivergencies and I really appreciate that.
There is sooooo much overlap and everyone experiences things differently. I always have to remind myself that I’m free to use any of these strategies/advice that speaks to me. Glad you were able to find some helpful information!
What is GAD?
@@pacificangel1769general anxiety disorder
Generalized anxiety disorder @@pacificangel1769
Happy to see this comment as I myself wondered if I have ADHD but I'm leaning towards my issues being caused by anxiety. Nevertheless, a lot of ADHD advice is very helpful
So helpful! My task paralysis is real. Like it’s so hard to explain but I feel like I often lack that spur of the moment spark to start the engine. But when I do finally settle in to sitting down and doing course work, I can go for hours. More videos like this please ☺️
Same. Like every year, I wait until literally the last day to do my taxes, because no matter how much i yell at myself that I need to do them, I just freaking can't. I can't make myself do the stupid thing. Even though I know that it wont actually take that long or be that bad and that I can knock it out in an hour. But like I just can't find the will to do it until it's literally the 18th and I have to do it that day or else the world collapses.
Wish I could find a system to overcome task paralysis that wasn't dependent on waiting until consequences of NOT doing the thing are so great that they outweigh my task paralysis.
I don't even know if that make sense, but hopefully someone understands
@@bottomofastairwell I TOTALLY understand. I'm always waiting til the last minute to do everything! I think it has to do with the little adrenaline rush we get from "living on the edge" that helps spur us on, because if we don't get whatever done, the consequences will follow, and those consequences trigger the adrenaline. One thing I've tried that usually works for me is planting the deadline in my brain earlier than it actually is, and better yet, make yourself accountable to someone. Here's a couple examples:
1. Keep telling yourself taxes are due April 10th. "I gotta get the taxes done by April 10th." Make a deal with your partner to hold you accountable. "If I don't get the taxes done by April 10th and show them to my partner, I'll have to do the dishes for a month!"
I usually don't have to do the consequences part, but if I plant that new date in my head over and over, it usually works.
2. You have a paper due. Tell someone you need them to proofread it for you a week before it's due. Plant it in your head that THAT is the due date. By finishing it by THAT due date, and having someone proof read it for you, you then have that extra week to make any revisions and turning in, on time, an even better paper!
I have a horrible memory, and that might be why this usually works for me, lol! Sometimes I've convinced myself so well that I really don't remember the actual due date! In the case of a date that everyone knows and is in all of our memories, like how taxes are due April 15th, it's a little harder, but that's where having a consequence can help nudge us along. I also have sticky notes everywhere to remind me, and if I have a lot going on, I'll write out what to do each day on this pad of paper I have that's a weekly planner that each sheet can be pulled off and kept close to me and then thrown away. Having that visual of the due date getting closer and closer helps push me to do it, too. A bonus with that is that things I don't get done from one week can be transferred to the following week if need be, too.
Well good luck! Hope that helps you or somebody out there! 😊
@@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane I set alarms that way. if i have to catch a flight and need to be at the airport by 4, i ACTUALLY need to be there by 3. (and sometimes i'll see that the time is 3 so much leading up to it that i forget i changed the time on myself, lol)
my biggest problems are with remembering to do general maintenance/upkeep crap that there's no real due date on. like making dr appointments. i'm ALWAYS overdue for my annual physical, because there's not a deadline for that kind of thing.
but maybe i need to just start creating deadlines for stuff like that. it HAS to get done by this date or else... i dunno what. that's the trouble. there's no consequences, so there's no stakes. and it becomes very easy to be like "eh, i'll just call tomorrow, i don't feel like it right now." and somehow tomorrow turns into 7 months, lol
@@bottomofastairwell Haha! I'm glad I'm not the only one that forgets the real time of something over the time I put in my head! 🤣 Too funny! Okay, that makes me feel less crazy, thank you!
Yeah, I don't know... those random ones are tough. My To Do List always seems to be full of those and they're always last because there's always something more pressing to do. I've often thought about creating a yearly calendar for maintenance stuff, but never get around to it. Like, "clean flower beds and birdhouses out by October 15th" or something like that. I end up asking my doctor (way too often!) to remind me, "When is my mammogram due again??" So she keeps track of that stuff for me. I have to see her every 3 months for my medication anyway, so things like that don't ever get too far behind luckily. I'm an X-ray Tech, so I see the consequences of *not* getting those preventative tests done... so make sure you get those, please!
Yes! Phone calls are THE WORST!!! I've had phone calls I've needed to make for over a year... ugh, terrible! Then when I actually accomplish them, they usually only take like, 5 minutes. Such a silly bunch we are, lol!
@@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane i work in a hospital, so yeah, I get it.
Thankfully my sister is a nurse, also responsible and driven, so she'll nag me for important stuff. That's the system I got right for important stuff, lol.
OK, and WHY are phone calls so hard?
I got a new bank card like 3 weeks ago cuz my old one wouldn't tap anymore and it even started not wanting to work when you insert the chip. Anyway, it took me 2 and a half weeks to activate it, coz I just kept... not calling. It's an automated number that I can do any time, literally 24/7. It took literally 30 seconds.
Why was that so hard? Why can't I EVER seem to just pick up the damn phone to call and make a stupid appointment. It'll take five minutes, not even. But for real, WHY is using the phone so goddamn difficult?
Yeah, I'm not diagnosed, but at this point, I'm pretty goddamned convinced I'm ADHD
I've been researching a lot about ADHD and neurodivergence recently. I'm an adult woman- age 26. I've never been diagnosed with neurodivergence aside from anxiety and depression. I've been finding I relate very strongly to the struggles of people with ADHD and/or autism and that the tips that help people with such neurodivergences help me greatly. I'm beginning to wonder if I should look into being diagnosed. Thanks for the video!
8:00 " . . . the things that are distracting to your brain specifically." Yes! Doctors and people in general don't get this! I need my specific paper piles separate from each other, not in one big basket, within arm's reach, but DO NOT turn on the TV or a podcast when I'm trying to do the papers! Music helps.
We just started doing cold calling at my job and I am so behind my peers. I have such a hard time getting started and it brings me such anxiety. It takes me half the day to get started, but I find once I start, I can continue. I found really great tools for my anxiety, but I'm finding I'll still do literally anything other than pick the phone to talk to a stranger, who may get upset at me.
Heard!
That's a job I just couldn't do - I'd be spending 90% of the day psyching myself up for the first call.
Try to get a different job.
Fellow ADHDer here. It’s striking to me how the majority of the creators I follow on RUclips also have ADHD but I only found out about it after I started following them because their content is not ADHD-specific. I do follow ADHD-specific creators as well, but I’m grateful for an ADHD therapist’s perspective!
I am a RUclipsr… with serious ADHD…. This video is so helpful and inspiring. Most days I feel like I’m just counting down the days until I am dead and can finally find peace. Peace…. What an amazing experience that must be. Thanks and keep creating!
After 40 years, I finally found a cleaning system that worked for my family (My husband, my kids, and I all have ADHD & Autism so it's been a life long struggle to keep things organized). First of all, I had to come to terms with the fact that I had too much stuff for myself to manage and I need less stuff than the average person in order to keep the house tidy.
My motivation to clean is usually that we don't allow any screen time till certain tasks are complete, and the whole family holds each other to it. We don't let the kids watch TV till they're finished, so it forces me to stick to it too as an example to the kids. We can avoid housework and do non-screen activities... but that won't last long. But we really only have a few MUST DO tasks.
1) pick up garbage. It usually takes 2 mins to go around the house and make sure there isn't any garbage on the floor
2) wash dishes. The rule is that you wash your own dish right after a meal (again, it takes 2 mins at most). We've only been able to keep up with dishes since our dishwasher broke down. Before that, we would pile them into the dishwasher and then the dishwasher would never get unloaded and dishes would pile in the sink. Now we wash them immediately and they're done. It was hard for the first few months, but now, even my kids can quickly wash their dishes without even thinking about it, it's just a part of meal time (and they can't watch TV till they're done)
3) do laundry. first, scan the room (or whole house) and see if there's any clothes laying around. I have enough of most clothes to go a little over a week before I NEED to do laundry, but I usually end up doing it on the same day because it's a habit. I wash the sheets and put them right back onto the bed so I don't have to fold them, and I don't bother separating any of the clothes, I just wash it all cold and it's fine. I also don't buy anything that has special washing instructions or it will never get washed. I fold me and my husband's clothes at the same time as my kids fold their clothes (they also wash their own clothes) and we have a race to see who can fold the fastest. I have trained them to separate their clothes into piles (a pile of socks, pants, shirts, etc) and work on one small pile at a time instead of having one big mess of clothes which is overwhelming.
4) this is optional depending on how the day is going, but pick up any clutter and put it where it belongs. It's usually just a mug got left on the counter or some cards are on the floor or something that really only takes about 2 mins to tidy up.
5) do actual cleaning (again, this is optional). If everything is tidied, it really doesn't take that long to quickly vacuum the floors (I wipe down counters after dishes are done since I'm holding the dishcloth anyway and it'll bug me if the dishes are clean but the counter/table is a mess). The bathroom is the hardest, even though it's kept tidy (we take things straight out of the drawer and put them straight back in when we're done using them and we have a few things on the counter in baskets that can get moved into a cupboard if guests come over). It doesn't take long to clean the bathroom if you do it weekly, but it's still really hard. I used to invite my clean freak mom over once a week for a visit and I would feel the need to panic clean before she got here. I still use the same general idea (having guests come over), but I've been keeping it clean enough that I can do a quick clean in about 10 mins and I don't have to spend 30 mins scrubbing a tub.
Any other cleaning tasks get done when we get extra motivation to do them, and often we create the extra motivation by giving ourselves some kind of deadline (like offer to give someone a ride so you have to clean the car or have an outdoor birthday party so you have to tend the yard).
But this was a huge process for me. I used to have a constant pile of dishes in the sink... and on the stove top... and sometimes even in the oven and on counters and on the kitchen table. I didn't think it would be possible to keep it clean with ADHD. I wanted to set a better example for my kids and teach them how to take care of a house, so I had to figure out how to do it first.
If I do have a big list that I need to do, I break it into small tasks and give myself a reward after each task (like reading a chapter of a book). It doesn't always work, but it's a tool I often use if I don't have a looming deadline.
This came up in my notifications and I teared up lol
This med shortage is killing me, so I’m super grateful for any tips at all as I try to get through it. 💓💓 and I really love the way you share info, so thank you for this!!
ugh, the med shortage is killing me too. i instead have to take my afternoon med 4-5 times today 😳 like, has my psychiatrist ever MET me?? i can barely remember to take it ONCE a day. and, i feel like it’s the worst timing. right before final exams and papers due and end of semester presentations 😭
@@elladavis3224 ugh I’m so sorry you’re dealing with it too!! 💓💓 good luck with all your finals- sending you all the good vibes!! 💓💓💓
I have to find a different pharmacy because the one I use only gets Adderall from one manufacturer, Lannett Co. And they are pretty much garbage.
Occupational Therapist here and documentation is the worst. I get task paralysis with it and I have thought for sure I was going to be fired because of it before and it's still a fear of mine.
Same here! Documentation is the worst. Constantly behind. This is actually what drove me actually get the official diagnosis as the first step in asking for accommodations
The switching things up and newness/novelty is one of the reasons I absolutely LOVE ClickUp as my project management tool. There are so many different ways you can use it and view it and change the layouts, so when I get bored with one I can switch it up. The past couple of days I've been using a different view for my blog posts projects for my client. Instead of viewing it by project status (To-Do, In Progress, & Done), I've been viewing it by what stage of the project I'm in (research, outlining, drafting, editing, formatting & links, & upload to Google drive folder). Just that one small change helped so much, but I do plan revamping & reorganizing how all my projects are set up in there. Haven't done a huge overall of the whole thing since I started using it almost two year ago, so definitely in need of setting up a new system cause I'm starting to get bored and ignore some of the tasks. Also, would love to see more ADHD tips, especially if you have any tips on gamifying tasks. I'm trying to learn more about gamifying different things to help get stuff done.
As a fellow clincian with ADHD. I have been STRUGGLING with progress notes. Dear God, I'm avoiding it like the fucking plague, and it makes me feel so bad.
Haven't watching in a minute. Your hair looks great! Can't wait to watch this. IDK if I have ADHD, but I feel like I'm a person with ADHD lol.
Edit: I watched! I like what you said about novelty. Sometimes I get disappointed in myself when I don't stick to a system and I'm constantly cycling through different ways of doing tasks to keep me productive. I need to let go of finding "THE SYSTEM" that will finally work for me and just embrace that none of them work AND all of them work at the same time.
To me, its not about getting rid of distractions, but getting the right distractions, distractions that are inspiring. But if it you hyper focus on it... gotta stop yourself. It's really hard but you gotta. But ideally the "distraction" will make you think about your task enough that it will encourage you.
5:00 "For neurotypical people, this can look like picking a system and just committing to it until the wheels fall off. " 😮😅👍
this video just helped me realize that the neurotypical "five minute rule" of starting a task i don't want to will not work for me bc of task initiation being a monumental feat in the first place and that i defy the law of "objects in motion will stay in motion" LOOOOL . also u are so right about how neurodiverse ppl and neurotypicals perceive different things as distractable. aaahhhh this is so difficult to navigate now i have to unlearn everything as a newly diagnosed adhd girl
I have OCD and these tips really resonate with me, too!
I wasn't aware that you were neurodivergent before watching this, but it makes sense. Your content is much more helpful than the neurotypical advice from therapists that I've had that just doesn't work.
I'm dyspraxic, autistic and I'm pretty sure I also have ADHD. Some mental health professionals look at that and run a mile.
Wow! Wow wow wow!!! Getting out of bed is a sore spot for me. Just staying in bed sounds so much easier. I'm gonna try tonight putting all my morning things on my night stand.. Maybe even my note book so I can write down all my to dos and keep my gym clothes nearby so I can just change in my bed.. This is brilliant thinking. I have so much more to give in the evening to set morning me up for success!!
when I discovered podcasts like 10 years ago now (thank you Serial) it completely changed my productivity. If I can have a podcast, YT show etc playing, I can do SO MUCH.
The one about not all distractions are the same is so validating, every time a neurotypical person tells me to just limit distractions I get so annoyed because their suggestions are always the things that actually help me do the tasks.
You had me at #1! I wish I had received this lesson when I was going through counseling for ADHD in the 90s. For me, all of the lists planners, timers, and parental support worked for a time, but I would continually find myself back in the same cycles. It wasn't until I learned more recently about ADHD and started giving myself permission to be myself. To me, that sounds ridiculous, but for someone who has struggled for so long to "fit in" and be productive by neurotypical standards, it was quite a release to understand it from a different angle. That's one of many reasons I'm grateful for you and your channel and all the information!
YES!! This was so incredibly helpful. I have new ideas to try, and this helped me realize that it's fine that I keep rotating through my bullet journal - happy planner - habitica - totally winging it systems. I would definitely love more of this.
Ironically, I had this in my 'watch later' for a few days. I'm currently in my second-last year of high school and a total perfectionist and with awful task paralysis, and I'm trying to learn to manage my tasks better and get over the perfectionism, but one of the challenges is actually finding what strategies work for *me* VS. what suggested ones are very Neurotypical-Based. So this is hugely helpful! No matter how many times I hear it, being reminded that it's not a personal/moral failing to not have everything done or done well is incredibly reassuring. Thank you so much for making this :)
I didn't expect this video to speak to me! I haven't received an official diagnosis, but the more I learn about the symptoms and habits of ADHD, the more I see it in myself. I didn't even know task paralysis was a term, or that there was even a term for that feeling. I have questioned why it feels impossible to initiate tasks, even if it's the most miniscule chore; like is it really just that easy to set a chore chart?
I'll definitely keep this video in my back pocket, thank you Mickey!
Same! I don't have any formal diagnosis, but I'm 99% convinced I'm done kind of neuro divergent.
Because everything i learn about adhd just fits. And like, i can't even describe the way it feels to be incapable of staring things to people. Like just do the damn thing. But it's like I'm literally paralyzed, like just the thought of doing the thing is so much that I can't even move or get out of bed, let alone start.
I'm like that with my taxes. And the only thing that "works" is waiting until literally the 18th, until the consequences of NOT doing them are so bad that it forces me to overcome my task paralysis. I wish I could figure out how to get over that though. Coz like, I'll go months without making a doctor's appointment that I know I need to make, just because I can't seem to pick up the phone and make the appointment. If someone makes out for me, I have no issue going and seeing the doctor, but for some reason it's so hard just to make that stupid phone call.
I don't heat up my bedroom, I like sleeping in a cold room, I sleep better etc. But: I hate getting out of my warm and comfy bed into this cold room. I just bought myself one of those blanket hoodies in my favorite color - absolute gamechanger. Its at the headrest and easy to put on, it'll give me a silly giggle (I'm a purple cloud! look at me!) and removes the scary part of getting cold shoulders and to be cold the first minutes of the day. Love it!
It‘s funny that you talked about starting your morning routine in bed cuz I started watching this video in bed and it helped me get up and get ready for the day!
this is so helpful! I feel like so much of ADHD advice is created by Neurotypical people. Lol. Like some advice will literally be like “create a routine for yourself.” lol. That’s obviously not realistic. The permission and grace you offer is so refreshing and very needed.
I don’t know why but I’m just seeing your merch for the first time and I love it so much, darn it!
Gaaaah you really speak at the perfect speed for me! I had no idea how much I need that more in my life. Not only do I have ADHD, but I live in the south.... I am feeling so comforted right now!
oh your hair looks SO good in this video
Oh my word. THANK YOU. I just recently realized oh my goodness I think I've had undiagnosed ADHD for 31 years and getting a diagnosis is so overwhelming right now. I'd have to like make an appointment and then schedule around it 😅😅😅
I literally just had a conversation trying to explain my executive functioning issues to my husband right before I opened up RUclips and felt really discouraged, so this was so very timely. Please do more ADHD stuff!!
I just wanted to say that I really love how you use the word "honour". In talking about my needs I think I've internalised the idea that my needs are a burden or are an inconvenience to myself and others. But you're the word "honour" that I've been hearing in the last few videos of yours I have watched is encouraging me to be softer to myself and I want to thank you for that and for the work that you do ♡
Immediately clicked the notification for this 😂😂❤ thank youuuu!
Considering I spent an hour calling the pharmacies in my area (nearly everyone is out of my meds), this is a well-timed video! Love finding new coping strategies
5:45 you were saying this while I was listening to this video while doing a task! something I found helpful lately is if I need to start doing my homework but I'm stuck watching youtube videos is to just start doing it while still listening to the video. This makes it easier for my brain to "glide into" a new task. I will eventually turn off the video so I can focus better, but it feels a lot less harsh.
This made me so happy because VALIDATION, but also made me tear up a little bit because I've tried to defend the same points at work and to my friends and family and people just don't get it. Most people don't even want to consider that not everything might work the way they think. Example - I get in trouble at work with one higher-up for listening to music/podcasts while working. I try to explain that these things help me concentrate. The lady straight up tells me that it's not possible, these things are just distractions. I was literally all alone in that office all day, behind a sound-proof door, so it wasn't even about distracting others, just me. I wish I could embrace my ADHD at work instead of trying to blend in with neurotypical people so they would feel more comfortable (thus damaging my performance, ironically), I've been trying to advocate for myself, but I lose every time.
I literally picked this video to watch while I did dishes because it was under 15 minutes. I promised myself that I would never have to spend more than 15 minutes at a time doing dishes (after the catastrophic build up in 2018 after my divorce) (I let them build up too much, there was no longer a partner to share the task, the more they built up, the more daunting the task, the harder it was to start)
And thus, once I finally found enough executive function to clean up the mess, I promised myself that as long as I could do them at least every other day then I would never make myself do the task for any longer than 15 minutes at a time. .. there were a few false starts.. though it never got quite that bad again. And sometimes I will only wash what I need, or give myself permission to be 'lazy' and wait till tomorrow. BUT sometimes my 15 minute timer goes off and I see there's only one or two dishes left and I'm like "I'm already here, my hands are already wet, why don't I just finish them?"
It's the self compassion for me.
Can you please make a video about how to support your ADHD diagnosed partner/friend? I sometimes struggle to know what can help them
I only recently realized and was diagnosed as (Au)ADHD, and it's completely informed why I struggle so much in ways other people don't. Due to some other health issues, I cannot be medicated for my ADHD (at least with stimulants?) and so I would very very much appreciate some more tips and tricks. This video is amazing and I plan to apply so much of it to my day to day in order to hopefully improve functioning!
Oh wow such great advice that I already know but keep forgetting. I know I have adhd and that effects the way I live life but yet and still I keep letting the feeling of not being "normal" and stuggling with things that other ppl seem to just do so easily, get to me.
My whole life I've been told I have so much potential and need to tap into it, and I'm always trying my best, though it seems like ppl can't see that.
Timers are my favorite! When cleaning is becoming overwhelming, I give myself 20 min per room. It equals out to a couple hours. Otherwise I tell myself "I'm going to spend all day cleaning!" which is not always realistic and maintainable. Or if I have some spare time I set a timer and get done whatever I can in that amount of time and usually I am surprised with how much I got done in even 10 minutes.
Thank you for posting this. I have ADHD and this is really helpful. I've had to tell myself when doing tasks it doesn't have to be all or nothing. If I'm doing laundry, for instance, and don't have the energy to fold the clothes, I'll just pull out work clothes.
Yes, this is very helpful. Please do more. I have a book I want to read but it's kind of dry, it's a textbook, and my brain is trying to figure out a way to read it without getting bored or distracted by the distraction.
I found an acronym that helps with task initiation sometimes through a podcast. if I have been avoiding/putting off something for a while it can help to walk through it.
S.T.R.E.S.S.
S: Steps (what are the specific first 2-4 steps you need to do to initiate the task. ie. dishes= 1. change into a short sleeve shirt 2. stack dishes)
T: Thoughts (what are the looping thoughts going on in your brain? do they need to be addressed, reframed, challenged, accepted, talked through with a support person)
R: Research (do you have enough information to get started? maybe before starting we need to learn more about the thing. if you need to research maybe set a timer so the rabbit hole doesn't get too deep)
E: Emotions/trauma (if the task is activating in some way for you you might want to delegate. find a therapist to help you unpack if it's impacting your daily life. lean on reframing thoughts again)
S: Sensory/over or under Stimulation (is there an accommodation you can make for yourself. adding music, podcast, tv show or putting on gloves to do dishes. light a smelly candle.)
S: Self-care (in terms of basic care tasks. sleep, water, food, social connection, physical activity)
from the podcast: coordinating chaos with the ADHD lady - episode called "stress tool"
thank you soooo much. My paralysis has been through the roof for the last 6 months and i cant help but best myself up for it
Omg this makes me so happy to have my diagnosis!!! Before, I had no idea why I couldn’t keep things tidy and Prestine. I have never EVER heard anyone say “If you can’t get out of bed that day…stay in bed”!!!😮 Four years ago this might’ve alleviated my shame for having SUCH a hard time getting up everyday! I love therapists ❤that’s have ADHD y’all are the best. You get it and you have the absolute best advice specifically for us. I’m subscribing after watching this! Thank you
I dont even remember what you talked about but this video left me with a comforting validating feeling. At min 2 i was already crying 😭 I knew i was different since little but its only a few years since i started learning about neurodivergency and its kinda relieving although i dont like to tell ppl 'hey i got this diagnosis' expecting that would keep them from judging me. I dont need a license to be different, they are the ones that need to expand their conceptions about the infinite ways of feeling, thinking and functioning a person might have. Anyway, ty for this video ❤
:~) awesome. I like the perspective shift of discerning what's helpful versus distracting
I love that you posted this right as I decided to give up on trying to do anything productive today. I'll take this as a sign to give it another try 😅
Thank you for all the wonderfully helpful content! 💜
Absolutely would love more ADHD content!
Im constantly learning things I didn't realize were connected to my adhd and videos like this are so validating. ❤
I literally. Started cleaning my room while listening to this video, lol. Thanks for the motivation!
Excited to watch this, I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and I’m always looking for advice, thank you Mickey ❤
I've been doing the small time block thing almost instinctively for many years. I am fortunate to have found a job that can facilitate that.
I find that sometimes my efforts to add interest to the boring tasks become distracting. It's hard to find a balance.
I like the idea of doing things 'good enough'. It's very helpful.
Pets are great for getting me out of bed! Gotta fill and empty them. I hang other routines that need to get done on that routine. Bathroom (pee, hair, teeth) kitchen (feed cats, make coffee and food) desk (makeup, work).
For my dad, who also has ADHD and is a stroke survivor, my mom put Post-it notes all over. The one in the bathroom says hair, teeth, ears (hearing aids). He does very well with it. The place is associated with the tasks. Helps avoid overwhelm by not having to think about what we're supposed to be doing.
Thank you for this video!! When it comes to tasks I don't want to do, like cleaning when I am not in a cleaning mood, I have found that picking just one thing to clean/organize and viewing it as progress has been SO helpful. Things like grabbing two dishes from my room and bringing it to the kitchen when I'm heading to the bathroom, or just making my bed. Sometimes it motivates me to do more, sometimes it just makes my space look cleaner. I also write down my tasks and have stopped giving myself a time limit on non-time sensitive things, and use music to gauge how much time I've used. I'm 27 and wasn't diagnosed until I was 20, and my entire experience thus far has been, "How can adapt this so I don't overload my brain?". I'm a preschool special education teacher too, and many of the strategies that work for my adult brain work for 3-5 year-old brains, too! My teaching philosophy includes empowering even the littlest brains, and that includes making sure they know they have the tools to help them, and that they CAN do anything they set their mind to even if it takes a little longer- things that I wish I had when I was younger.
Would love to see more ADHD videos, thanks for making this 😊
thank you for talking about morning routines. I have felt so pressured by it and just end up in paralysis many times with so many things i could do in my head. I haven't heard anyone regarding ADHD on youtube yet talk about morning routines and the difficulty trying to do what you see possible neurotypical folk say they do. This year I am coming to terms seeing how my behavior is very adhd and I have attempted to get diagnosed but the paperwork is something i am procrastinating on. either way thank you
More videos on this please! I find it incredibly difficult to focus on important work tasks (I work remotely) and will literally clean my entire house, garden, decorate, or build some thing rather than focusing on what pays the bills. It sucks.
I love these tips on meeting myself halfway
I havent watched this yet but i already know this is going to be the only good advice video i will have watched in the last 3 years of being diagnosed! I already know this isnt going to be about kids, boys, etc. And i know its not going to be something like: try and planner or post it notes. With those types of videos i always end up saying out loud: thanks sharon, i definitely havent tried that?!
Ok so after watching 10 mins of it, they are a lil basic tips... No hate, just being honest. However, i do appreciate the fact that they are all good tips, even if i personally was looking for some more advanced advice, because ive have been to a therapist before (shocking ik) and this is basically the first therapy session of any person with adhd. Definitely good advice, was just hoping shed dig a little deeper than 1mm into this titanic sized iceberg
I don’t have adhd, but I always find tips for people with adhd really helpful. Thank you!
I love timers! I recently discovered pomodoro timers, where you spend 25 minutes working on something and then get a 5 minute brain break, and I love them for when I sit down to write! They are all over RUclips too, so if you can deal with a single ad at the beginning, they're totally free.
I hate timers - they increase task anxiety
i have two of those timer things - a yellow cube and a mint green hexagon and they're really cool! ive had pomodoro apps on my phone for years but i always forget about them
the timers are great, they're magnetic, have little countdown circles (broken into quarters)... i highly recommend
EXCEPT they can be pretty expensive :/
Doing my food prep while listening to this felt appropriate.
You get me!!!! Thank you
Asking for help is super hard, rather be burned at the stake, but learning to. It helps to know that I can ask for help that is different than the neurotypical
honestly so validating to hear you say that not only can certain things be *more* distracting, but certain other things can be *less* distracting than they are for neurotypicals. my parents definitely had an attitude of "ur getting distracted so we have to take away all distractions" which ended up taking away things that actually *helped* me focus like stim toys and music. its something im still unlearning and it feels really good to see others talking about that
Right? Like music is my everything. The right music or TV show (something I've seen a hundred times and already know so well I don't have to pay close attention to) helps me focus on the thing I need to do. Random other stuff that isn't a problem for anyone else will trip me up though, like good firebox there's a fork on my desk. Then obviously I have to get up and go put that fork in the dishwasher. And then while I'm at it, I might as well clean the whole kitchen. And then vacuum the house.
And then... oh crap, the thing i was supposed to do isn't done
RUclipsrs always say "share the video!" and tbh I usually don't 😬 but this time I did! Because my roommate is in the midst of discovering that he probably, most likely, *definitely* has ADHD. Hopefully he watches and finds this helpful.
I've actually been diagnosed with ADHD twice; the first time was years ago when I'd only just started therapy (I wasn't even looking for a diagnosis, but the person I was seeing at the time just seemed to *know* after talking to me probably thrice, and I was like yeah, that checks out), while the second time was because I saw a neuropsychologist for an autism assessment, and I got an ADHD diagnosis in addition to the ASD diagnosis. 🎉
What do you do about the ... I don't know... emotional turmoil? that comes both with being forced to focus on something intolerable or uninteresting at the time, as well as the being forced to pivot from a task you are hyperfixated on? Or when you want to hyperfixate on something, but your obligations are requiring you to remain aware and engaged with several dozen things?
I produce great work and achieve impressive results when hyperfixation hits. I came home from work to find my neighbors had hauled a hollow bench to the curb because of torn pleather from their cat, stared at it in silence for a solid minute while I saw everything unfold in my head, and then hauled into my house and completely reupholstered and repaired it in three hours with materials I already had. I have never reupholstered anything in my life. But that task hit me and I fell into it, and it was great. When I get into a task, I just really disappear into it. So it's a shame working in a news station means my attention must constantly be divided at all times. I asked when I was hired to wear headphones when I get overwhelmed and was essentially told no, I had to listen for breaking on the scanners. Whether it's writing three articles at once, scouring for leads, answering the phone, fixing tech issues, monitoring analytics, checking five different inboxes, cutting up clips for the website, editing reporter packages.... Sometimes all of those at the same time... That can be fine in short bursts, but the second I start writing an article I'm actually interested in? I can't tell you how sour I get when I'm told to do something else. I had to leave early one day, it got that bad. You'd think after two years, I'd adjust, but naw....
I didn't know emotional regulation was an issue for ADHD until I was diagnosed well into adulthood, and while I have a lot of DBT under my belt as treatment for BPD, I find the distress tolerant skills don''t work as well for ADHD. It feels like the ADHD should have practical and applicable solutions, whereas the BPD is just like... trying to reason with a toddler all the time. Similar, kind of... But not... BPD feels reactive to external events. ADHD feels like it starts inside. It's weird...
Just starting the video, but need to say your hair is GORGEOUS!!!
Sharing this with my whole family. Thank you.
I watch your videos while I'm doing household chores! So this video is very On The Nose this week. :D Thank you for these ideas!!
PLEASE MORE OF THIS
This was sooo helpful to me!!! I struggle with a lot of the things you mentioned and the tips are very good. I need to look at my distractions because you are so right. My phone ends up being the worst one so I will start there.
One thing i loved abour my last job, was the entire crew of people that i worked with were nuerodivergent. We used the term power hour, but only as a signal that it was the last hour of our shift. It was used more as a way to pump ourselves up as we are mentally or physically dragging.
Especially if it was friday, where at the end of power hour. We all went to get a group ice cream.
As well as using it as a almost verbal reminder. To step back and look at what we are doing and think about how long it would actuality take is to finish.
I would love to see more videos on ADHD. i was diagnosed as an adult so its all learning from here.
This video is the most helpful advice I've gotten in a long time in dealing with my ADHD!
Omg this spoke to my soul! Currently struggling with my masters program because of task paralysis
Putting my morning ADHD meds with a bottle of water next to my bed to take them at my first (of many) alarms, is one of the things of the "good enough" that is surprisingly helpful.
More ADHD tips please!!!! I’m newly diagnosed, and this is one of the most helpful videos I’ve come across! Thank you!!!
how do you feel about self diagnosis for ADHD/autism/neurodivergence?
I really appreciate you adding the visuals and whoosh audio to this video. It totally helps my brain to stay present and separate each point.
Would love more videos like this. I'm autistic, but my partner is polyennic/adhd and I've been trying to figure out/find ways to make our shared space more accepting and conducive to each of our strengths and challenges. My partner struggles with self reflection / self monitoring so they aren't full of ideas, but are willing to try things and give feedback when I set something up.
Can totally relate! My desk has to be completely clean. Moreover, the shelving unit is behind me so I cannot see it and the phone charger is far from the desk.
However, I do have a giant stien of water on the desk and a small massage ball under the desk, because fidgeting can't be helped and this way I'm stationary enough to get some things done.
P.S.- I try to limit sitting on a rolling chair in odd position, due do having face plummeted onto the marble floor and getting injured.
not me getting distracted right before you mentioned distractions and having to go back and listen to it again
Wow 🤩 I love your hair!! Looks so good on you!!