1) No responsibility for personal feelings 2) Unbalanced giving at personal expense 3) Boundaries are blurred 4) Not thinking for oneself 5) Losing sense of self
While I'm not in a relationship, personally, I watch these videos. I like to apply these to my friendships. These videos help me read my friendships better, and I cannot thank this channel enough!
As a little add-on: Co-dependency can happen with *any* relationship; romantic, platonic, familial, work/business- all that have two or more parties. It's not exclusive. However these signs are still important to watch for regardless.
time stamps! :) 0:01 Intro 0:40 1. No responsibility or personal feelings 1:24 2. Unbalanced giving at personal expense 2:19 3. Boundaries are blurred 3:07 4. Not thinking for oneself 3:57 5. Losing sense of self 5:15 Credits have a good day/night! 🧡
I was in a co-dependent relationship during my first marriage. The loss of self happens slowly, until at some point you don’t recognize yourself at all, it took me 13 years to figure that out. I had 3 kids with him and sadly they were all mistreated then and now by him. I had my own issues going into that relationship but not as deeply as his. My wanting to be loved after being raised by not so loving parents really didn’t help. I learned to not get into relationships without firmly knowing who you are. I finally met a man who helped me grow and realize a perfect working and romantic relationship can be had. We’ve been together for 20 years and it’s been the best ride of my life.
You feel like you need to save them from themselves. ... You want to change who they are. ... Taking time out for self-care makes you feel selfish. ... It's difficult to explain how you're feeling about your relationship. ... You feel anxious when you don't hear from them. ... You have trouble being alone.
And you feel responsible for them after you decide enough is enough and leave them. It's extremely hard, but eventually, the burnout from it all will make you call it quits.
Too clingy and i really got too exhausted from her... everytime i wanted to leave her...she would always tell me tjat her life will be ruined if i do. She workes outside the country, and everytime she hates me so much... she she finds someone else for comfort and cheats... and then blame me for my reactuon for getting so mad about what she did.. as it was part my fault that she cheated
I'm codependent. I also have a very healthy relationship. We support each other, validate and approve. Are excited for each other and share everything. He's generous, and my love language is giving. We need self care help, that is true, but, we seem to keep up at times. Boundaries are in place for privacy and respect, active listening. And we do say no, with an explanation. We think for ourselves and we share these thoughts and we learn new things from each other. I'm 8 years in. We are recovering addicts with different opinions and being respected for different opinions and this shit about not sacrifice and compromise instead. No need to bea martyr. Keep friends, check in, tell them what happened, things will be okay. Interdependence is a new idea for me. Resewrch.
My gf and I met last October during the school year and I remember when we first met I definitely had more of a sense of self worth and confidence. I was comfortable with myself and being alone and happy witho who I was. Highschool(sophomore) is definitely a breeding ground for insecurities and negative habits to form. What started out seemingly healthy and enjoyable as a friendship, which turned into a romantic relationship, into something that hurt me(codependency) I learned a lot. I think its time for me to start worrying a little more about myself and regain that connection I lost with my own self. Its my life and I need to live it, I cant let others enslave my life or dictate it with their own problems or opinions they might have.
This completely sums up my last relationship. There was a lot of patience on my end, and a lot of giving on my end. There was no time for me to have time for myself, and I found myself taking the blame for a lot of problems that we had. I was apparently in the wrong whenever I wanted to do something for myself. I had to constantly reassure them that I loved them completely and that there wasn't anyone else I was looking for. Honestly I wished things could've been different, and that's why I tried to take steps towards changing myself so that the relationship could be more stable and sturdy, but it seemed that only one of us were hell bent on making it work. It's sad that it ended with no words because there was never a bad and forth sense of communication, which is needed in a relationship, but what's done is done. I can only hope now that whatever changes are being made for the both of us, they work out in the end.
From what I can tell about how you approached this situation and how you came out it seems like youll get far in life. Whatever youre doing keep doing it and for what its worth, maybe it seems like destiny put you with that person to help them out. Youre secure with yourself and maybe you gave that other person a valuable life lesson.
That reminds me of myself in my friendship. Always about me. At some point it seemed almost like they were living for my sake more than their own. Definitely a problem on my part. At the time I always thought it wasn't that bad. That people just try to care for one another. I still hope that there is some truth to that. I found myself quite attached to that dude. I really appreciated that kid. Sticking with me no matter how selfish I acted. I think it's a matter of lack of appreciation. For what a dude does for another, only for it to be met with unequal investment. I was quite like that. But if it wasn't for that dude I would've been much worse off. I appreciate everything that m8 did for me, especially when I didn't deserve it. That kind of patience, not everyone can handle such a burden. There's a difference between codependency and compassion. Regardless. If it wasn't for his burden I wouldn't have made it. I think there is too much labeling that goes around. That it affects how a person looks at them selves and acts towards others. If you were to ask me as a kid, or him for that matter, I think wed both look at you confused. To me I wasn't being a selfish dude, but my self. I think the thoughts of a relationship being unhealthy, or unfair.. is exactly what makes it so. It's childish, I know that. But Ive never been happier than when I was one. The simplicity of a friendship on the playground. When a kid betrays your trust ure upset for a day but move on. No thoughts of NPD, or Sociopathy, or codependency. I think the things that that have hurt me the most are thoughts just like those. Those days of selfishness held because neither of us knew we should have been offended. I'm still the dudes friend. And after the long while I've learned to respect his time and space. Not to bombard him with my problems. And I feel like that's good enough for me.
Though I’m not currently in a relationship I love these videos because they truly help me be more self aware and treat my friends and loved ones better 💛
Instead of accepting the boundaries of my own individuality, I feared that I would not have been accepted, and that I would have been viewed as incompatible, to which I cancelled a lot of the good things that made me me for the sake of not being what I feared. The difference is subtle, but the intention of your being (avoiding bad or doing good) I've found is one of the most powerful dichotomies in my own psychology. Love and be yourself, and don't let doubt run your life amuck.
For me it's been a battle of being what I shouldn't be even if it would help me in the long run. If I was being mistreated and violence could help I wouldn't dare since violence is such a taboo solution to a problem. Even when passivity was perpetuating the situation.
I watch these videos to learn from my mistake of being unhealthily attached to someone. I had a codependent relationship (non-romantic way). It’s so bad because you really lose all your independence and in some cases, become very obsessive over one person and that relationship so you forget about everything/everyone else in your life. You constantly need reassurance from that person. Need of attention 24/7. You become incredibly jealous and possessive. Sometimes you can’t even stand to see that person happy without you. It’s so toxic and sad. In these types of relationships, it’s selfishness not love and you will never be happy because your needs are impossible to be met. I think it comes from a place of abandonment issues or things to do with your childhood maybe an unavailable parent. It’s best to get out of these relationships for your OWN good. I don’t really think it’s anyones fault. Both parties might genuinely care for each other but simply one is too attached so it’s imbalanced and it won’t work out. Just love yourself first, don’t let other people take control of your emotional needs, learn to understand yourself and then love someone else.
I'm not at present in a relationship the one I came out of taught me not to attach myself to anything or anyone because everything and everyone comes and goes and I don't lose myself.
5 signs you are in a codependent relationship: 1) No responsibility for personal feelings 2) Unbalanced giving at personal expense 3) Boundaries are blurred. 4) Not thinking for oneself 5) Losing sense of self
My first relationship was a pretty mess. A bit toxic abusive maybe, not sure, but I'm pretty sure it was co-depedent. Almost a year has passed since we cut contacts completely, just see each other when both want to be with the same friends, but never speak, only if it's something important, but only a few words come out. This to say, if anyone here is going through something similar, please know that it WILL get better. It won't ever go to how things were before, but, that's not necessarily a bad thing. You already lived without that person in your life before, you can do it once again. New people will come eventually, and even the old ones, I'm sure they'll be happier after seeing you're starting to be yourself again (believe me or not, it's noticeable when it starts getting too much, but most people don't know how to react, they don't even know what's happening since you're prone to distance yourself from everyone) It's hard, and sometimes it still is for me, but I'm definitly doing better than I was last year around this time, so don't lose hope :) Stay strong everyone
My partner and I are actually in a codependent relationship, but so be fair it's only my second and we both have a lot of problems. We will work to make our relationship healthier in the future. ^^
thank you for talking about this, I think so many people are in codependent relationships not only with their partner but also with family members or friends and struggle to recognize it or to get out of that codependency
“Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough” ― Oprah Winfrey ✨ Being grateful is a TOTAL GAME CHANGER! ❤️
Although I was in a relationship with a good woman, the line between love and dependence dissapeared. After a year, when I decided to break up, it was a very violent moment for both. Take care of yourself, because it is a form of respect for you and your partner.
I'm going through a time where I seem to have lost myself. This video explains why, because I find myself to do all 5 things your have summed here. I already knew somewhere in the back of my head, now I can start working on this. My girlfriend is amazing, but I really have to thing about myself too!
Definitely in a codependent relationship. I got in the habit of not saying no. But she kept pushing. She took more and more of me. I ended up doing literally everything for her. But when I told her it was too much she broke down. I gave in because i felt bad, but it made me angrier and angrier. I began lashing out in other areas of life. She simply wouldn't listen when I said it was too much. She had anxiety and difficulties at work. She felt fully justified in leaning on me and using me for 100% of her needs. It wasn't fair.
This 100% but with my mom. I recently lost her to cancer last year and the past few months have been extremely difficult. I'm struggling to find out who I REALLY am without her.
This is the video I needed. I've been trying to pin down what was going on in my relationship so I could better get a sense of what I would need to develop in myself. This all resonates. Thank you
Work on building a healthy relationship and falling in love with the person that you see everyday, who has been through so much pain and heartache, but still manages to gets through it all.❤️ 💙RUclipsr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationship
I was the codependent on my last relationship. I need to feel reassured and I was always anxious on things like what he does and whats not, why is he doing this and why not, sort of things. And I know the reason behind my actions, he constantly lied to small things, never gives something unless I told him so, gaslights me, manipulates me on situations that makes me look like the bad guy. Opening up on my feelings just to be told that I am just starting a fight, or " we talked about that what else do you want?", plays his game while I am crying, being ignored, then tells me to shut up and "are you done?" I think I was in a narcissistic relationship. This made me so dependent on him because of the love bombing. Now that I am 3 months out, I am trying to fix my self again, I feel so much better, I am not anxious about something anymore. I realised that I needed validation because he was manipulating me into being one, like blocking me then ill chase him, saying sorry for something I didn't do while he waits, making me feel like a puppet and a dog. Their was a time that we didn't talk for 3 weeks and he emailed me for a talk, the first thing he told me was "it's been three weeks, are you not saying sorry?" That was the worst shit ever, I was building myself up for that three weeks slowly getting my confidence back, and then he destroyed my peace. I felt like I didn't have a choice I WAS the one who begged for the relationship even though he was like that, it was like he wanted to destroy me and he was happy with what's happening. So for anyone who's in a similar situation, prioritize yourself things will get better I promise. I am assuring you that you don't need someone like that to make you feel worthy. You ere worthy enough
I guess that's the lesson you needed to learn, like many of us. Our feelings cannot lead us to the way to hell. We are responsible for keeping them in check. Our responsibility. Blaming someone else for the way we feel is an attempt to manipulate the situation. I feel bad, it's not within my abilities to change it therefore you have to do it. Make me feel good. To make me feel good, you will need to act differently. And I will be sitting there, waiting and crying until you love me because I can't do it myself. Once we really integrate that, no one can mistreat us to that level, nowhere near, keep striving.
Loved the vid as always! ⚠️VIDEO IDEA could you think about discussing life with chronic illness? Specifically how it takes such a toll on mental health, I’m sure it would be appreciated by many!! ❤️ keep up the great work!!❤️
I have been in a co-dependent relationship with family. I was an extension of them and I experienced all of these signs. To this day, I am fighting to regain control of my self confidence. Some days it's hard
i described a toxic relationship i was in as codependent based on what i knew from biology and months later, i can see us in every one of these signs :'>
Damn. This hits different. Somehow I’m not single anymore (😊), and both me and the person I like have both struggled with a LOT of shit. And we’re both pretty happy now bc we like each other and think the other is awesome and amazing, and we’ve helped each other before we liked each other because we understood the other needed help with their feelings and actions. But now after watching this video, yeah it hits different. I’m gonna send this to her after finishing this comment. Again, damn.
i deal with patterns of codependency and with my girlfriend i can positively say that as far as im aware my side of the relationship shows little to no codependency. its a blessing my recovery has shown. i do my best to keep my codependency patterns to myself without passing them on to everyone else.
for some reason i feel like i would get into a codependent relationship, in real life the likelihood of that happening to me is a bit lower than what i imagine ;-; for i normally don't set boundaries but as soon as it's not as huge group of people ignoring me like i'm cosplaying as an invisible ghost i set boundaries much better 😊Also i love this animation style! ❤
I'm starting to breakdown and exhausted. The only time I get to do the things I like is when she's at work (even then I still don't disconnect fully because of text). I have an avoidant attachment (which I'm working on) and the anxious attachment she has pushes me away little by little. 😢
My boyfriend who dumped me today definitely was everything in this video without communicating it to me... I thought we were doing fine, but he was sacrificing his own needs and hobbies without me knowing and started blaming me for it, thus poisoning our relationship... I wasn't perfect too, but he definitely just tried to "parrot" me thinking it was making me happy until he got too exhausted. Then it was my turn to forcibly accommodate to everything he wanted to do suddenly. And I was giving and giving, until it reached a point where he just neglected me for fulfilling his personal needs every day week after week and attacking me if I implied we should probably do something together too as if I was the mother of all evil stopping him from filling his need to play video games without me.
Codependency is one thing that ruined the interested in relationships as a whole the fact that somebody can’t go 24 hours without being on my phone is very annoying to me. I need somebody that has a life and has things to do outside of me and being on my phone
When my kids father left me it left a huge hole in my heart. I had always taken care of him and supported him but then he ran off to support someone else. He became so desperate to be needed by this girl and she was so hopeless at life that he took it upon himself to try and fix her. Along the way their relationship fell apart again and again and he would always tout the idea of us getting back together right before he would just run back to her as soon as she was available. Even though he stabbed me in the back repeatedly, I constantly found myself so weak when he’d pretend to want to be friends again that I went right back to cooking for him and cleaning for him and loaning him gas money and just trying to support him. Sometimes I’m so embarrassed of myself.
Jesus... how come we never see the red flags when we’re in a relationship? It’s terrifying. I left him because I didn’t love him anymore and not because of how codependent we were. I couldn’t say no to him or he’d took it on a personal level and I’d have to reassure him. Whenever I was depressed (I have clinical depression), he thought he was his fault and again *I* had to reassure him. We couldn’t have an honest argument about something or he’d start panicking. And finally, when I left him, I spent hours on his sister’s story making sure he was alright and he didn’t k*ll himself (he had history about this).
What does it mean when your boyfriend can't move out on his own? Like he would only move out if it is with me but I am not financially ready. What does that say about him? So, if we do move out together, does that mean he doesn't have to be alone 24/7? Perhaps, he does not like to be alone at all.
No comments? Hold my juice box! I recently got in a new relationship. Well not "new" I guess since I dated him before but I had a major anxiety attack and had to call it off for the time being. In the time since, I had grown very close with one of my other best friends (they were sorta like a mother figure to me, despite being a year younger) and was imagining living with them and--once my anxiety got under control--realizing I had some romantic feelings for her. However, they found someone else to date (we're still friends) and watching this... At least 3 of them match what I was going through with her (I was the codependent one...) and I've since learned how to love myself and reconnected with old friends and started dating one again. (My current bf is fully accepting of all the things I thought were weird or not suitable for a romantic relationship. And he accepts that I'm asexual/aegosexual and loves me anyway!)
@@userm180 exactly why it took me this long (nearly a decade) to finally accept that it's true and he's the bestest and amazing and I love him and I know he'll never find these comments but I still wanna say it cuz he's best boi!
I'm a chameleon i copy the behavior, movement, likes and dislikes of those who I'm usually with although I'm trying to stop that habit I can't help but sometimes try and be like my partner although i stop my self as soon as possible this video helped me navigate what bad habits and red flags i need to stop. My partner has also been through traumatic experiences in which where he can't decide for himself most of the time which is why i encourage him a lot to try and decide for himself this Video gave me a boost and more confident that i should help my Partner more with things like these.
i was in a coodepedent relation, the sad part is that she never want it to talk about us, and when i tried to resolves some problems she screames to me
If you are helping somebody or associating with somebody and alot of time your'e thinking of it more so as an obligation, a duty, a chore, something which you have to do or that you're doing it because your indebted or that you owe somebody something as opposed to just simply doing so because you want to or because it's out of the goodness of your own heart then you are most likely dealing with a codependent relationship in my opinion.
So me and my ex broke up because I became so co dependent with our relationship once I got sober. We noticed it became toxic and she was losing her self to prioritize my needs and sobriety. She’s the best and I feel so bad I wasn’t able to see this at first. Although, we broke up we ended it good terms and are still good friends, but I’m learning to be dependent on God and my self, in order to be of service for my partner in the future. I do miss her dearly and have hopes we can get back together, but for now I need to really prioritize my needs and she needs to prioritize hers. If and when we get back together I am positive we will be interdependent and I’ll finally be able to be of service for her!
I’m not sure if I’m in a codependent relationship, but I do know for sure that I am always thinking about others and neglect to take care of myself and my feelings. I’ve let others walk all over me my entire life.
I worked under a boss who was engaged to my coworker (an issue all on its own). The biggest thing about their codependency was that we could all tell my boss was constantly doing whatever to make his fiancé happy even if it was clear he wasn’t about it, he would still try to act happy. He also couldn’t say no to her which caused a huge problem with favoritism in the workplace (allowing her to do things he would never allow the other workers to do). People I’m sure thought I was just being mean when I said they’re codependency is toxic in so many ways because “they just seem so happy!” Because they act like they’re in a constant honeymoon phase. Working with them everyday though let’s you see the cracks in it that others might not get to pick up on
And, as I have come to realize in my 5 decades on Earth, IF you are in a " Relationship," 😂 with a Covert narcissist, codependent is Exactly the way they want you. Ten years Wasted ( but ) I learned Sooo much!
My partner is draining me and it’s so annoying. Will soon break it off with him. We have a child but he is a grown man and depends on me too much. Without me he would be able to do the things he do and it is draining. Time to move on.
I had all of these with my ex girlfriend, but as soon as I was starting to struggle more and more with my own mental health, she left me after 2 years in the relationship.
its hard for me... sometimes i just want to cuddle and cry in someones arms, have a need for calming love and the feeling of beeing cared for and secure, but i dont think that im codependent. I just always had the experience that everything slipped through my hands like sand without even trying to hold it. Im very giving by nature but I always make sure that ist not overwhelming. Im not measuring someones love by the attention or assure myself constantly. I just feel like i only met people with hot & cold dynamic, from family, partners and also Projects or School (how i was examined). I feel so empty. If someones smiles at me or even asks me on a date, i just know exactly what new thing they wont like about me and its often even true. sometimes I dont want to be reactive to anything or not feel anything for the fear of beeing misstreated
I feel like i’m the one who is codependent on my boyfriend. he’s one of the only people i’m really close with and i’m really protective of him which makes jealousy a really big issue and a nasty feeling. it hasn’t led to any fights, we’ve never really argued and he’s very open minded to making me more comfortable and im really gratful! i just think a lot of that jealousy comes from codependency and i want to be less dependent on him but don’t really know how. :(
I might be in a codependent with two of my friends but it is somehow it is the only thing that keep three of us going. It might not been healthy but for us it is actually enough. We all depended on each other
I'm in a relationship where my partner does everything, but that includes trying to split me from my family; my son left me because of this and after that he would ask me where I wanted to go then change his mind during the journey; I'm now going crazy because if I try to do something, it's not good enough or I didn't do it correctly. I'm moaned at ALL the time because I forgot to do something and now I'm feeling suicidal. It's getting rediculous. Every morning he will come down from the bedroom and ask me how he looks, and if what he's wearing looks good on him; one day I just glanced at him and said yes you look okay... I thought he was going to have a meltdown because I didn't admire what he was wearing, yuk!.
My current girlfriend had an emotional dependency on her last relationship.. He used to beat her , yell at her etc.. Why doesn’t she have the same emotional dependency on me? It makes me feel she had much more feelings/love in her past relationship and not with me.
To be honest with you yes I get clingy with Freddie my boyfriend because I never had enough love from my family aka my mom Terry because she wasn't always there for me when she passed away years ago due to cancer and I never forgave myself for not being able to see her again because of how impossible it is to heal after continuing trauma I'm always dealing with pain and suffering and I don't do it on purpose I just don't like being alone knowing I don't feel safe alone knowing what could happen to me and I'll never survive
I am codependent to a narcissistic gaslighter. He just broke up with me yesterday and I feel like I am dying. I never realized I was codependent I just thought I was always putting him first because that’s what you do when you love someone and I always expected the same efforts but he never wanted to cuddle or hold hands or kiss or show any affection really. I’m very affectionate and he used to be too but I fucked that up and he never bounced back even though I changed. I realize I’m looking for ways to blame myself for him leaving because I miss him so much I don’t know what to do with myself. He’s been very very mean to me and it’s draining to constantly pay for all his stuff and show him love and cook and clean and work and do everything and when I ask for cuddles to go to bed it starts an argument. I don’t understand
My girlfriend broke up with me four days ago because she said she may never have been ready for a relationship in the first place. Which seemed so odd to me because she was always talking down on her exes, and how she only dated them because she felt alone and wanted to be fulfilled. After she met me four months ago, she said that nobody has treated her like I have, how I would prioritize her over something minor like a video game or something that can be done later without her even asking or acknowledging it. She always loved going out with me and always wanted me to spend the night with her, and so did I. This relationship seemed like the perfect relationship for each other. Overtime, the signs of co-dependence on both sides never hit her until last week when she realized that we both hate ourselves, but love each other very much. She witnessed me cry in my sleep almost every night when we slept together, noticed me not being cautious for my safety when speeding on my Onewheel, and giving to her and others instead of using the resources for myself. On her end, she was doing the same. She would cross the street on a green light, pay for gas money to get groceries for me when my sister wouldn't feed me or the kids when I was jobless, and she would mostly flashback to her past with her family trauma. We both cared so much for each other and each of us had a shoulder to cry on. Every time I would call her beautiful and compliment her on her kindness, she would reject it as if it were untrue. She would hate her body, even though everyone else wants to look exactly like her, and even say she's the reason her exes treated her so bad. She realized this before I have, which hurt me a lot and caught me off guard when we broke up. A cried and screamed for an entire day because she was the best I ever had, and I can't imagine replacing her. However, she has been updating me occasionally on her finding herself by finding things she enjoys, starting another routine, and taking care of her finances more. After me crying non-stop, I started to realize even more how dependent I was on her. Every time I felt sad, I would unintentionally vent very traumatic things that happened to me to her, even though she had hers as well. She would do the same for me, but we were both willing to listen and talk it through. At the end, we both felt like crying in person or over the phone. Now that we're restricting contact with each other for a while, I have reconsidered going back to college to help me get back in a routine, regain even more hope for the future, and even made some new friends ever since. I still miss her, but we both knew this decision was for the best, even though it really hurt us both to do it. We're both working on bettering ourselves and loving ourselves more so that when we may or may not get back into the relationship, we will both be happier people in a matter of a few months from now.
i feel like im the “codependent” one i alot of the times feel invalid when not validated by my girlfriend and I’ve noticed im beginning to project that on to her. Me not feeling wanted may be the direct result of my codependency
here is my question, can the relationship turn into a healthy relationship? can you "reverse" the co-dependency or if you have the signs, just jump ship?
Have you watched our video on sign it's trauma bonding, not love?
ruclips.net/video/4EqbuAlrilQ/видео.html
Siiiuuuuuuuuuu
Yes my aunt had a bad relationship with my uncle but my step uncle is really nice so this is actually really familiar 💕
Yup! I seen it
Yes.
My friend never eats so I say “C O N S U M E T H E C R A C K E R”
1) No responsibility for personal feelings
2) Unbalanced giving at personal expense
3) Boundaries are blurred
4) Not thinking for oneself
5) Losing sense of self
Mm-hmm
Thank you noah!
@@HannahMarieee No prob :33
Thank you!
@@khalilahd. No worries :D
While I'm not in a relationship, personally, I watch these videos. I like to apply these to my friendships. These videos help me read my friendships better, and I cannot thank this channel enough!
Same, and not just friendship but also with my other peers such as classmates, my relatives/family and etc
Couldn’t have said it better! These videos have truly helped me become a better person
Same it's just for friendship......I feel having fights in friendships hurt more than relationships...
same :) these help so much with everything
Same! I apply a lot of the advice to any relationship I have whether professional or friendships.
As a little add-on: Co-dependency can happen with *any* relationship; romantic, platonic, familial, work/business- all that have two or more parties. It's not exclusive. However these signs are still important to watch for regardless.
time stamps! :)
0:01 Intro
0:40 1. No responsibility or personal feelings
1:24 2. Unbalanced giving at personal expense
2:19 3. Boundaries are blurred
3:07 4. Not thinking for oneself
3:57 5. Losing sense of self
5:15 Credits
have a good day/night! 🧡
Thank you!
I was in a co-dependent relationship during my first marriage. The loss of self happens slowly, until at some point you don’t recognize yourself at all, it took me 13 years to figure that out. I had 3 kids with him and sadly they were all mistreated then and now by him. I had my own issues going into that relationship but not as deeply as his. My wanting to be loved after being raised by not so loving parents really didn’t help. I learned to not get into relationships without firmly knowing who you are. I finally met a man who helped me grow and realize a perfect working and romantic relationship can be had. We’ve been together for 20 years and it’s been the best ride of my life.
Oh wow … I’m so happy for you! I think I am co-dependent with my partner .. and I hope I can fix this before we get married ..
Im happy for you :)
Happy for you
This is amazing
I'm really happy that you finally got break from the cyclic patterns of self doubt and self identity loss🎉
I needed this reassurance that happiness IS possible. You just described me to a "T"
You feel like you need to save them from themselves. ...
You want to change who they are. ...
Taking time out for self-care makes you feel selfish. ...
It's difficult to explain how you're feeling about your relationship. ...
You feel anxious when you don't hear from them. ...
You have trouble being alone.
Add: you compare your relationship with those of others
How do I fix this…
And you feel responsible for them after you decide enough is enough and leave them. It's extremely hard, but eventually, the burnout from it all will make you call it quits.
I am currently in this situation. My partner is too emotionally weak, having separation anxiety d@@thebarbelllifestyle1478
Too clingy and i really got too exhausted from her... everytime i wanted to leave her...she would always tell me tjat her life will be ruined if i do. She workes outside the country, and everytime she hates me so much... she she finds someone else for comfort and cheats... and then blame me for my reactuon for getting so mad about what she did.. as it was part my fault that she cheated
I'm codependent. I also have a very healthy relationship. We support each other, validate and approve. Are excited for each other and share everything. He's generous, and my love language is giving. We need self care help, that is true, but, we seem to keep up at times. Boundaries are in place for privacy and respect, active listening. And we do say no, with an explanation. We think for ourselves and we share these thoughts and we learn new things from each other. I'm 8 years in. We are recovering addicts with different opinions and being respected for different opinions and this shit about not sacrifice and compromise instead. No need to bea martyr. Keep friends, check in, tell them what happened, things will be okay. Interdependence is a new idea for me. Resewrch.
That's not codependence.
That's interdependence
My gf and I met last October during the school year and I remember when we first met I definitely had more of a sense of self worth and confidence. I was comfortable with myself and being alone and happy witho who I was. Highschool(sophomore) is definitely a breeding ground for insecurities and negative habits to form. What started out seemingly healthy and enjoyable as a friendship, which turned into a romantic relationship, into something that hurt me(codependency) I learned a lot. I think its time for me to start worrying a little more about myself and regain that connection I lost with my own self. Its my life and I need to live it, I cant let others enslave my life or dictate it with their own problems or opinions they might have.
This completely sums up my last relationship. There was a lot of patience on my end, and a lot of giving on my end. There was no time for me to have time for myself, and I found myself taking the blame for a lot of problems that we had. I was apparently in the wrong whenever I wanted to do something for myself. I had to constantly reassure them that I loved them completely and that there wasn't anyone else I was looking for. Honestly I wished things could've been different, and that's why I tried to take steps towards changing myself so that the relationship could be more stable and sturdy, but it seemed that only one of us were hell bent on making it work. It's sad that it ended with no words because there was never a bad and forth sense of communication, which is needed in a relationship, but what's done is done. I can only hope now that whatever changes are being made for the both of us, they work out in the end.
From what I can tell about how you approached this situation and how you came out it seems like youll get far in life. Whatever youre doing keep doing it and for what its worth, maybe it seems like destiny put you with that person to help them out. Youre secure with yourself and maybe you gave that other person a valuable life lesson.
That reminds me of myself in my friendship. Always about me. At some point it seemed almost like they were living for my sake more than their own. Definitely a problem on my part. At the time I always thought it wasn't that bad. That people just try to care for one another. I still hope that there is some truth to that. I found myself quite attached to that dude. I really appreciated that kid. Sticking with me no matter how selfish I acted.
I think it's a matter of lack of appreciation. For what a dude does for another, only for it to be met with unequal investment. I was quite like that. But if it wasn't for that dude I would've been much worse off. I appreciate everything that m8 did for me, especially when I didn't deserve it. That kind of patience, not everyone can handle such a burden. There's a difference between codependency and compassion.
Regardless.
If it wasn't for his burden I wouldn't have made it.
I think there is too much labeling that goes around. That it affects how a person looks at them selves and acts towards others. If you were to ask me as a kid, or him for that matter, I think wed both look at you confused. To me I wasn't being a selfish dude, but my self. I think the thoughts of a relationship being unhealthy, or unfair.. is exactly what makes it so. It's childish, I know that. But Ive never been happier than when I was one. The simplicity of a friendship on the playground. When a kid betrays your trust ure upset for a day but move on. No thoughts of NPD, or Sociopathy, or codependency. I think the things that that have hurt me the most are thoughts just like those. Those days of selfishness held because neither of us knew we should have been offended. I'm still the dudes friend. And after the long while I've learned to respect his time and space. Not to bombard him with my problems. And I feel like that's good enough for me.
Though I’m not currently in a relationship I love these videos because they truly help me be more self aware and treat my friends and loved ones better 💛
Instead of accepting the boundaries of my own individuality, I feared that I would not have been accepted, and that I would have been viewed as incompatible, to which I cancelled a lot of the good things that made me me for the sake of not being what I feared.
The difference is subtle, but the intention of your being (avoiding bad or doing good) I've found is one of the most powerful dichotomies in my own psychology.
Love and be yourself, and don't let doubt run your life amuck.
For me it's been a battle of being what I shouldn't be even if it would help me in the long run. If I was being mistreated and violence could help I wouldn't dare since violence is such a taboo solution to a problem. Even when passivity was perpetuating the situation.
very well said
I watch these videos to learn from my mistake of being unhealthily attached to someone. I had a codependent relationship (non-romantic way). It’s so bad because you really lose all your independence and in some cases, become very obsessive over one person and that relationship so you forget about everything/everyone else in your life. You constantly need reassurance from that person. Need of attention 24/7. You become incredibly jealous and possessive. Sometimes you can’t even stand to see that person happy without you. It’s so toxic and sad. In these types of relationships, it’s selfishness not love and you will never be happy because your needs are impossible to be met. I think it comes from a place of abandonment issues or things to do with your childhood maybe an unavailable parent. It’s best to get out of these relationships for your OWN good. I don’t really think it’s anyones fault. Both parties might genuinely care for each other but simply one is too attached so it’s imbalanced and it won’t work out. Just love yourself first, don’t let other people take control of your emotional needs, learn to understand yourself and then love someone else.
Not just romantic relationships either. Happens in friendships too. When someone ties their mental health to your constant presence. I feel trapped.
Once you've made the decision to move on, don't look back. You will never find your future in the rear view mirror.
I'm not at present in a relationship the one I came out of taught me not to attach myself to anything or anyone because everything and everyone comes and goes and I don't lose myself.
5 signs you are in a codependent relationship:
1) No responsibility for personal feelings
2) Unbalanced giving at personal expense
3) Boundaries are blurred.
4) Not thinking for oneself
5) Losing sense of self
My first relationship was a pretty mess. A bit toxic abusive maybe, not sure, but I'm pretty sure it was co-depedent. Almost a year has passed since we cut contacts completely, just see each other when both want to be with the same friends, but never speak, only if it's something important, but only a few words come out. This to say, if anyone here is going through something similar, please know that it WILL get better. It won't ever go to how things were before, but, that's not necessarily a bad thing. You already lived without that person in your life before, you can do it once again. New people will come eventually, and even the old ones, I'm sure they'll be happier after seeing you're starting to be yourself again (believe me or not, it's noticeable when it starts getting too much, but most people don't know how to react, they don't even know what's happening since you're prone to distance yourself from everyone) It's hard, and sometimes it still is for me, but I'm definitly doing better than I was last year around this time, so don't lose hope :) Stay strong everyone
i'm so proud of you!! thank u so much for the advice!!
My partner and I are actually in a codependent relationship, but so be fair it's only my second and we both have a lot of problems. We will work to make our relationship healthier in the future. ^^
As long as you’re trying to better yourself you’re Already on the right path!
@@khalilahd. Thank you! We are both trying to better ourselves; as we really want to be a healthy couple. :)
hoping for the best for y'all!!
@@userm180 Thank you!
hello, how are you now? do you find ways on how to fix this?
thank you for talking about this, I think so many people are in codependent relationships not only with their partner but also with family members or friends and struggle to recognize it or to get out of that codependency
Honestly, I feel there is nothing better than absolute independence. There is a reason why I have been single for years.
“Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough” ― Oprah Winfrey ✨
Being grateful is a TOTAL GAME CHANGER! ❤️
@@thepowerofemotionalcompete4032 Thank you for sharing! God bless you! :)
Although I was in a relationship with a good woman, the line between love and dependence dissapeared.
After a year, when I decided to break up, it was a very violent moment for both.
Take care of yourself, because it is a form of respect for you and your partner.
I'm going through a time where I seem to have lost myself. This video explains why, because I find myself to do all 5 things your have summed here. I already knew somewhere in the back of my head, now I can start working on this. My girlfriend is amazing, but I really have to thing about myself too!
glad u recognised it!!
Definitely in a codependent relationship. I got in the habit of not saying no. But she kept pushing. She took more and more of me. I ended up doing literally everything for her. But when I told her it was too much she broke down. I gave in because i felt bad, but it made me angrier and angrier. I began lashing out in other areas of life. She simply wouldn't listen when I said it was too much. She had anxiety and difficulties at work. She felt fully justified in leaning on me and using me for 100% of her needs. It wasn't fair.
This 100% but with my mom. I recently lost her to cancer last year and the past few months have been extremely difficult. I'm struggling to find out who I REALLY am without her.
Good luck :) keep fighting and pushing on
This is the video I needed. I've been trying to pin down what was going on in my relationship so I could better get a sense of what I would need to develop in myself. This all resonates. Thank you
Love this! Needed to know so I could recognise my own patterns of dependency
Work on building a healthy relationship and falling in love with the person that you see everyday, who has been through so much pain and heartache, but still manages to gets through it all.❤️
💙RUclipsr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationship
excellent video. The video made the meaning of a "co-dependent" relationship less ambiguous to me. It seems I have a few I wasn't aware of.
I was the codependent on my last relationship. I need to feel reassured and I was always anxious on things like what he does and whats not, why is he doing this and why not, sort of things. And I know the reason behind my actions, he constantly lied to small things, never gives something unless I told him so, gaslights me, manipulates me on situations that makes me look like the bad guy. Opening up on my feelings just to be told that I am just starting a fight, or " we talked about that what else do you want?", plays his game while I am crying, being ignored, then tells me to shut up and "are you done?"
I think I was in a narcissistic relationship. This made me so dependent on him because of the love bombing. Now that I am 3 months out, I am trying to fix my self again, I feel so much better, I am not anxious about something anymore. I realised that I needed validation because he was manipulating me into being one, like blocking me then ill chase him, saying sorry for something I didn't do while he waits, making me feel like a puppet and a dog. Their was a time that we didn't talk for 3 weeks and he emailed me for a talk, the first thing he told me was "it's been three weeks, are you not saying sorry?"
That was the worst shit ever, I was building myself up for that three weeks slowly getting my confidence back, and then he destroyed my peace. I felt like I didn't have a choice I WAS the one who begged for the relationship even though he was like that, it was like he wanted to destroy me and he was happy with what's happening.
So for anyone who's in a similar situation, prioritize yourself things will get better I promise. I am assuring you that you don't need someone like that to make you feel worthy. You ere worthy enough
I guess that's the lesson you needed to learn, like many of us. Our feelings cannot lead us to the way to hell. We are responsible for keeping them in check. Our responsibility. Blaming someone else for the way we feel is an attempt to manipulate the situation. I feel bad, it's not within my abilities to change it therefore you have to do it. Make me feel good. To make me feel good, you will need to act differently. And I will be sitting there, waiting and crying until you love me because I can't do it myself. Once we really integrate that, no one can mistreat us to that level, nowhere near, keep striving.
Loved the vid as always!
⚠️VIDEO IDEA could you think about discussing life with chronic illness? Specifically how it takes such a toll on mental health, I’m sure it would be appreciated by many!! ❤️ keep up the great work!!❤️
Yes please make this video!!! It’s extremely difficult and many people don’t understand it could raise a lot of awareness
I seriously just subbed because of your calming, ASMR voice
I never had a sense of self… so I didn’t lose it… I just continued childhood stuff. But I’m learning! Yay!
Can we all take a moment to appreciate how amazing this animation is they make it TOO CUTE!!!
Honestly.
@@girly.mimi00 I agree with u..
I have been in a co-dependent relationship with family. I was an extension of them and I experienced all of these signs. To this day, I am fighting to regain control of my self confidence. Some days it's hard
i described a toxic relationship i was in as codependent based on what i knew from biology and months later, i can see us in every one of these signs :'>
Damn. This hits different. Somehow I’m not single anymore (😊), and both me and the person I like have both struggled with a LOT of shit. And we’re both pretty happy now bc we like each other and think the other is awesome and amazing, and we’ve helped each other before we liked each other because we understood the other needed help with their feelings and actions. But now after watching this video, yeah it hits different. I’m gonna send this to her after finishing this comment. Again, damn.
i deal with patterns of codependency and with my girlfriend i can positively say that as far as im aware my side of the relationship shows little to no codependency. its a blessing my recovery has shown. i do my best to keep my codependency patterns to myself without passing them on to everyone else.
proud of you!!
for some reason i feel like i would get into a codependent relationship, in real life the likelihood of that happening to me is a bit lower than what i imagine ;-; for i normally don't set boundaries but as soon as it's not as huge group of people ignoring me like i'm cosplaying as an invisible ghost i set boundaries much better 😊Also i love this animation style! ❤
I'm starting to breakdown and exhausted. The only time I get to do the things I like is when she's at work (even then I still don't disconnect fully because of text). I have an avoidant attachment (which I'm working on) and the anxious attachment she has pushes me away little by little. 😢
Theses things should be taught in school, so when you become adult, you know what to do and not to do.
My boyfriend who dumped me today definitely was everything in this video without communicating it to me... I thought we were doing fine, but he was sacrificing his own needs and hobbies without me knowing and started blaming me for it, thus poisoning our relationship... I wasn't perfect too, but he definitely just tried to "parrot" me thinking it was making me happy until he got too exhausted. Then it was my turn to forcibly accommodate to everything he wanted to do suddenly. And I was giving and giving, until it reached a point where he just neglected me for fulfilling his personal needs every day week after week and attacking me if I implied we should probably do something together too as if I was the mother of all evil stopping him from filling his need to play video games without me.
Codependency is one thing that ruined the interested in relationships as a whole the fact that somebody can’t go 24 hours without being on my phone is very annoying to me. I need somebody that has a life and has things to do outside of me and being on my phone
I always thought we're in a codepedent relationship, but it looks like I have to search for a new term
When my kids father left me it left a huge hole in my heart. I had always taken care of him and supported him but then he ran off to support someone else. He became so desperate to be needed by this girl and she was so hopeless at life that he took it upon himself to try and fix her. Along the way their relationship fell apart again and again and he would always tout the idea of us getting back together right before he would just run back to her as soon as she was available. Even though he stabbed me in the back repeatedly, I constantly found myself so weak when he’d pretend to want to be friends again that I went right back to cooking for him and cleaning for him and loaning him gas money and just trying to support him. Sometimes I’m so embarrassed of myself.
Jesus... how come we never see the red flags when we’re in a relationship? It’s terrifying. I left him because I didn’t love him anymore and not because of how codependent we were. I couldn’t say no to him or he’d took it on a personal level and I’d have to reassure him. Whenever I was depressed (I have clinical depression), he thought he was his fault and again *I* had to reassure him. We couldn’t have an honest argument about something or he’d start panicking. And finally, when I left him, I spent hours on his sister’s story making sure he was alright and he didn’t k*ll himself (he had history about this).
Wow sounds like the guy I’m dating.
What does it mean when your boyfriend can't move out on his own? Like he would only move out if it is with me but I am not financially ready. What does that say about him? So, if we do move out together, does that mean he doesn't have to be alone 24/7? Perhaps, he does not like to be alone at all.
No comments? Hold my juice box!
I recently got in a new relationship. Well not "new" I guess since I dated him before but I had a major anxiety attack and had to call it off for the time being. In the time since, I had grown very close with one of my other best friends (they were sorta like a mother figure to me, despite being a year younger) and was imagining living with them and--once my anxiety got under control--realizing I had some romantic feelings for her. However, they found someone else to date (we're still friends) and watching this... At least 3 of them match what I was going through with her (I was the codependent one...) and I've since learned how to love myself and reconnected with old friends and started dating one again. (My current bf is fully accepting of all the things I thought were weird or not suitable for a romantic relationship. And he accepts that I'm asexual/aegosexual and loves me anyway!)
aww that's so cute that your bf accepts that. hard to find them these days
@@userm180 exactly why it took me this long (nearly a decade) to finally accept that it's true and he's the bestest and amazing and I love him and I know he'll never find these comments but I still wanna say it cuz he's best boi!
I'm a chameleon i copy the behavior, movement, likes and dislikes of those who I'm usually with although I'm trying to stop that habit I can't help but sometimes try and be like my partner although i stop my self as soon as possible this video helped me navigate what bad habits and red flags i need to stop. My partner has also been through traumatic experiences in which where he can't decide for himself most of the time which is why i encourage him a lot to try and decide for himself this Video gave me a boost and more confident that i should help my Partner more with things like these.
very very proud of the both of you!!
@@userm180 Thank you!
i was in a coodepedent relation, the sad part is that she never want it to talk about us, and when i tried to resolves some problems she screames to me
If you are helping somebody or associating with somebody and alot of time your'e thinking of it more so as an obligation, a duty, a chore, something which you have to do or that you're doing it because your indebted or that you owe somebody something as opposed to just simply doing so because you want to or because it's out of the goodness of your own heart then you are most likely dealing with a codependent relationship in my opinion.
After 5 years of being in completely unkowing about this. I realiezd this is where I was the entire time.
Added to my personal playlist♡
So me and my ex broke up because I became so co dependent with our relationship once I got sober. We noticed it became toxic and she was losing her self to prioritize my needs and sobriety. She’s the best and I feel so bad I wasn’t able to see this at first. Although, we broke up we ended it good terms and are still good friends, but I’m learning to be dependent on God and my self, in order to be of service for my partner in the future. I do miss her dearly and have hopes we can get back together, but for now I need to really prioritize my needs and she needs to prioritize hers. If and when we get back together I am positive we will be interdependent and I’ll finally be able to be of service for her!
I’m not sure if I’m in a codependent relationship, but I do know for sure that I am always thinking about others and neglect to take care of myself and my feelings. I’ve let others walk all over me my entire life.
I worked under a boss who was engaged to my coworker (an issue all on its own). The biggest thing about their codependency was that we could all tell my boss was constantly doing whatever to make his fiancé happy even if it was clear he wasn’t about it, he would still try to act happy. He also couldn’t say no to her which caused a huge problem with favoritism in the workplace (allowing her to do things he would never allow the other workers to do). People I’m sure thought I was just being mean when I said they’re codependency is toxic in so many ways because “they just seem so happy!” Because they act like they’re in a constant honeymoon phase. Working with them everyday though let’s you see the cracks in it that others might not get to pick up on
I'll take one!
And, as I have come to realize in my 5 decades on Earth, IF you are in a
" Relationship," 😂 with a Covert narcissist, codependent is Exactly the way they want you. Ten years Wasted ( but ) I learned Sooo much!
Okay sure... now how do I handle this with my sibling?
Self abandonment hurts so much just to please the other it never turned out good 😭
This was 1000000% me 👏🏿🤦🏿♀️ but I've been working on it with therapy
My partner is draining me and it’s so annoying. Will soon break it off with him. We have a child but he is a grown man and depends on me too much. Without me he would be able to do the things he do and it is draining. Time to move on.
Much needed content ❤️..thank you
I had all of these with my ex girlfriend, but as soon as I was starting to struggle more and more with my own mental health, she left me after 2 years in the relationship.
its hard for me... sometimes i just want to cuddle and cry in someones arms, have a need for calming love and the feeling of beeing cared for and secure, but i dont think that im codependent. I just always had the experience that everything slipped through my hands like sand without even trying to hold it. Im very giving by nature but I always make sure that ist not overwhelming. Im not measuring someones love by the attention or assure myself constantly. I just feel like i only met people with hot & cold dynamic, from family, partners and also Projects or School (how i was examined). I feel so empty. If someones smiles at me or even asks me on a date, i just know exactly what new thing they wont like about me and its often even true. sometimes I dont want to be reactive to anything or not feel anything for the fear of beeing misstreated
I had a friend at school once who I was very connected to same for him we would try to follow each other and I also have mixed feelings for him
Definitely co dependence has been a problem
I feel like i’m the one who is codependent on my boyfriend. he’s one of the only people i’m really close with and i’m really protective of him which makes jealousy a really big issue and a nasty feeling. it hasn’t led to any fights, we’ve never really argued and he’s very open minded to making me more comfortable and im really gratful! i just think a lot of that jealousy comes from codependency and i want to be less dependent on him but don’t really know how. :(
I might be in a codependent with two of my friends but it is somehow it is the only thing that keep three of us going. It might not been healthy but for us it is actually enough. We all depended on each other
I'm in a relationship where my partner does everything, but that includes trying to split me from my family; my son left me because of this and after that he would ask me where I wanted to go then change his mind during the journey; I'm now going crazy because if I try to do something, it's not good enough or I didn't do it correctly. I'm moaned at ALL the time because I forgot to do something and now I'm feeling suicidal. It's getting rediculous.
Every morning he will come down from the bedroom and ask me how he looks, and if what he's wearing looks good on him; one day I just glanced at him and said yes you look okay... I thought he was going to have a meltdown because I didn't admire what he was wearing, yuk!.
My current girlfriend had an emotional dependency on her last relationship.. He used to beat her , yell at her etc.. Why doesn’t she have the same emotional dependency on me? It makes me feel she had much more feelings/love in her past relationship and not with me.
I used to be in one like that and it was really bad because i felt like i only needed to do whatever they want and i couldnt feel happy without them
This is incredibly insightful, thank you ❤
To be honest with you yes I get clingy with Freddie my boyfriend because I never had enough love from my family aka my mom Terry because she wasn't always there for me when she passed away years ago due to cancer and I never forgave myself for not being able to see her again because of how impossible it is to heal after continuing trauma I'm always dealing with pain and suffering and I don't do it on purpose I just don't like being alone knowing I don't feel safe alone knowing what could happen to me and I'll never survive
these videos let me cope with the fact that the girl I like probabbly doesn't like me, she probabbly doesn't even like girls
True. Good sharing.
Being codependent is like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. Imagine being codependent and in love with a narcissist. Brutal.
Can you guys make a video about Interdependence? This was good and helped a lot, but i'm curious as to what interdependence actually looks like.
Okay but what if you do it on purpose and on your own will
Oh boy, this was 100% my ex narcissistic boyfriend.
this was extremly helpful for someone who experienced all of these without realizing what it was. Thank you for sharing
Very detailed and clear explanation 👏 👏 👏 So informative and helpful to understand people...
this applies to my friendship I had with someone.
@@thepowerofemotionalcompete4032 are you a bot?
oh man i wish i couldve watched this 2 months ago 😭 well now i know better
Whoa! How sad! I am in copendent relationship!
I am codependent to a narcissistic gaslighter. He just broke up with me yesterday and I feel like I am dying. I never realized I was codependent I just thought I was always putting him first because that’s what you do when you love someone and I always expected the same efforts but he never wanted to cuddle or hold hands or kiss or show any affection really. I’m very affectionate and he used to be too but I fucked that up and he never bounced back even though I changed. I realize I’m looking for ways to blame myself for him leaving because I miss him so much I don’t know what to do with myself. He’s been very very mean to me and it’s draining to constantly pay for all his stuff and show him love and cook and clean and work and do everything and when I ask for cuddles to go to bed it starts an argument. I don’t understand
Tfw you’re watching a relationship video while still being single;;;;
And too early for time stamps I showed up
I was in the codependent relationship for 11 years myself from empath and the last couple years she became very narcissistic nearly lost everything
Thank you for the video 10 out of 10.
The beginning sounds like an anime romance. I'll take that any day
1:20
2:18 AMEN!
My girlfriend broke up with me four days ago because she said she may never have been ready for a relationship in the first place. Which seemed so odd to me because she was always talking down on her exes, and how she only dated them because she felt alone and wanted to be fulfilled. After she met me four months ago, she said that nobody has treated her like I have, how I would prioritize her over something minor like a video game or something that can be done later without her even asking or acknowledging it. She always loved going out with me and always wanted me to spend the night with her, and so did I. This relationship seemed like the perfect relationship for each other. Overtime, the signs of co-dependence on both sides never hit her until last week when she realized that we both hate ourselves, but love each other very much. She witnessed me cry in my sleep almost every night when we slept together, noticed me not being cautious for my safety when speeding on my Onewheel, and giving to her and others instead of using the resources for myself. On her end, she was doing the same. She would cross the street on a green light, pay for gas money to get groceries for me when my sister wouldn't feed me or the kids when I was jobless, and she would mostly flashback to her past with her family trauma. We both cared so much for each other and each of us had a shoulder to cry on. Every time I would call her beautiful and compliment her on her kindness, she would reject it as if it were untrue. She would hate her body, even though everyone else wants to look exactly like her, and even say she's the reason her exes treated her so bad. She realized this before I have, which hurt me a lot and caught me off guard when we broke up. A cried and screamed for an entire day because she was the best I ever had, and I can't imagine replacing her. However, she has been updating me occasionally on her finding herself by finding things she enjoys, starting another routine, and taking care of her finances more. After me crying non-stop, I started to realize even more how dependent I was on her. Every time I felt sad, I would unintentionally vent very traumatic things that happened to me to her, even though she had hers as well. She would do the same for me, but we were both willing to listen and talk it through. At the end, we both felt like crying in person or over the phone. Now that we're restricting contact with each other for a while, I have reconsidered going back to college to help me get back in a routine, regain even more hope for the future, and even made some new friends ever since. I still miss her, but we both knew this decision was for the best, even though it really hurt us both to do it. We're both working on bettering ourselves and loving ourselves more so that when we may or may not get back into the relationship, we will both be happier people in a matter of a few months from now.
Good luck to both of you and best wishes :)
i feel like im the “codependent” one i alot of the times feel invalid when not validated by my girlfriend and I’ve noticed im beginning to project that on to her. Me not feeling wanted may be the direct result of my codependency
here is my question, can the relationship turn into a healthy relationship? can you "reverse" the co-dependency or if you have the signs, just jump ship?
I personally think it can be worked on, first step is admiting we have a problem then working on it , right? Just like anything else in life.
I have borderline personality disorder so I’m way too co dependent on my partner which isn’t a good thing.
This are really great videos!❤
Hey @Psych2Go you wrote codepedent (the first n is missing) in your title
I don't know how to do it, that is why I prefer to be solo.
How would a co-dependent relationship work if the other partner is severely disabled. With around four physical and four mental disorders?