Fr! I sometimes forget that I have never even had a full-on conversation with the girl I (used to) like and that I always thought of her, but I doubt she ever thinks of me. It's so hard to move on from that 'crush' of mine because I foolishly truly loved her with all of my heart even if I knew her heart belongs to another.. damn..
I worked with him for a short time and it was like we had almost everything in common. And there’s so much more to my story but it doesn’t matter because he’s married and has a family. I need to get over him and stop fantasizing about him and whatever “connection” I have to him because I can’t have him in the way I’d ever want as well as unhealthily fantasizing over him.
@@amruth2545 First thing I did was to learn how to love myself, and how I should accept that she just doesn't like me. No matter what I did. and that chasing and chasing over something so pointless isn't worth my golden precious time, which I'm wasting loving the wrong person. (Oh and I like someone new now lol maybe that's also the reason)
yeah... but if i can't tell myself to stop thinking about them, and if i don't stop thinking about them, i start to fantasize and i fall in love with THOSE fantasies, what do i do?
@@xXCallMeAriXx I also face same problem… it’s very confusing feeling ! We can divert our mind to some work(passion , ambition,creativity meditation etc) or if this is also not working then we can just go with the flow and accept the fact that we are falling for them!!
1. Knowing them in and out, so that the spark is gone 2. Why am I obsessed with that person? It's just because I wanted to live a life like them. So build myself, my appearance and my confidence
I know pretty much everything about Kristen Kathleen but I still am obsessed with her even though she isn’t the same person she was when I met her five years ago. She used to be into sex and drinking all the time and now she’s into God but all that did was make me turn to God to impress her. I do want to live a life like her because she’s single and I’m married and I want to be able to do whatever I want like her. But I don’t have the guts to get a divorce because my family would hate me and even if I do, Krissy already told me her feelings for me are long gone and she wouldn’t be with me cause I’m not her type. So what’s the point of moving on when my life is good other than the fact I’m in love with other women who doesn’t want me?
@@ramsfan9209to answer the question you have at the very end of your message: Now it's time to turn inwards, focus and give that love back to yourself and appreciate what you do have. Whenever you feel desired on this "other woman," keep the thought in mind that she is not reciprocating that desire of you. The more you remember this, it will get easier to say "hey! I'm not wasting any more of my precious time or thoughts on someone that doesn't cherish or value me the same way!" Eventually, you'll feel empowered and self loving to a point where you'll only want to focus on yourself, thoughts and time and who or where you're willing to put emphasis of any of those things on or towards. You can still love this person as a person in general from afar, however, whenever the thought of loving this person that isn't loving you back then way you desire, redirect the focus of placing that love back to loving yourself even more in your heart. Just a suggestion. I hope this helps!
But how do you apply this when it’s more of a sexual obsession?Like when the person just matches your sexual and romantic ideals way beyond what anyone else has and no one else you meet comes close.. or to put it another way … if you have a very specific type that’s difficult to find so you can’t really just replace it. I feel like it’s easy to get over something if you can replace it but what are you suppose to do when you can’t replace it with anything?
@@adorastelly8938 Telling yourself yourself the person is irreplaceable is part of what feeds the obsession. No one, and I mean no one, except God, is irreplaceable. All other relationships, even with family members, are temporary. Anything in life that is temporary is NOT irreplaceable.
@@adorastelly8938 There is no magical solution despite what some people say on YT. I bet they sometimes cannot apply their wisdom and superior knowledge to regulate their feelings. The only solution is to let time heal and make you wiser so that you can avoid getting burnt as much as you did the first time you felt like that.
Romanticising someone and leads to obsession is creating your mind that you can have this person eventhough you know for some reason, It will not be possible and since It will not be impossible, It will become more obsess to challenge yourself until you finally have this person.
@@user-hf6cd7bc7t I never said they didn’t deal with one maybe you should read more carefully. I said the world is not full of narcissists and that’s true. Expressing narcissistic behaviour once in a while and being a narcissist is not the same thing dude. Narcissism is not just being selfish it’s an actual disorder, people call everyone a narcissist these days, yet they only make up a small percentage of the world.
i think the best way to get over someone or your obsession is to go out and meet new people. talk to anyone. old ladies, people you are not attracted to, people you are attracted to. your garbage man -- the person who bags your groceries. ask them about their life and listen -- people who sit next to you on the subway. ask them how their day was.
I am prone to obsession so I needed this. That second point is especially interesting. Unless I'm (in love /obsessed) with a woman, I am not particularly self-motivated so that's why I'm attracted to women with a lot of drive and an adventurous, independent nature.
I think I have the same problem..I am not self motivated! The guy I was obsessed with once told me "not everyone can motivate themselves, some of us need a motivating person in our lives." And his gf was the same exact way and he married her. I can see her becoming a much better person because of him but I cannot find that for myself. I often just feel lost and depressed. What do you do in these situations? Is that just something we have to live with for our lives? How do we find our own motivation?! I hope someone will come up with a solution.
@@sophiaedwards3956 I know exactly where you’re coming from! A lot of people would understand their behaviours better if they considered natal chart placements. In the same way, if they know the sun sign or major placements of the person they’re obsessing over, that can show patterns too. I, for one, am intensely attracted to Aries and Scorpio people (sun, moon or rising).. I found the pattern a while ago and can now take a step back when I first spot signs of a larger than average interest on my part forming. (I’m Cancer sun, Sagittarius moon and rising, with a nice little obsessive Virgo Venus 😄🙏)
I’m obsessed with my ex and I don’t want be anymore. I know she has flaws, I know she was abusive, but I was raised that if it’s love you look passed someone’s flaws because you love them. She moved on so dang quickly (within a month) and I haven’t yet and it’s been over a year😓
Was in a same position, I loved her a lot but I knew I had to let go. I was hurt for months ( Still can feel the scars a year later)Worked on myself and I attracted someone else. Be careful though because you will attract people who are after something else… Good luck bro!!
This is such a perfect timing. I am obsessed with a guy in my office. But after getting to know him and talk to him, the "butterfly in your stomach" and obsession to think about him started to dissipate. It's such a weird feeling but it's comforting and unload my mind of off him. I have to make mental notes that whenever I overthink about him or someone I HAVE to talk to them, and that feeling would disappear.
This is why I always tell guys to remain mysterious and give as little as information about yourself as possible while getting out as much information as possible about the other person.
I talked to Kristen Kathleen in our office. And I left a few notes on her car and now she says I’m Joe from You. Not quite the impression I was trying to make toward the love of my life
same thing but even after knowing he is a shitty person but few dats later he stopped talking to me for no reason it made me even more obsessed with him him ignoring me like i m not even there is driving me crazy i can’t stop thinking about him i feel like im so fucked
Thank you so much for these tips! I’ve been wondering for a few years how to for good stop obsessing over guys that are emotionally unavailable or out of reach even though they are not good for me and not meant to be in my life anymore or at all. The third tip I have is to stop letting your friends and family’s opinions confuse you and breed your obsessions with people. It’d be best to communicate with them that you are working towards getting over obsessions and if they don’t respect that boundary, you can distance yourself from these people. Get to know everyone equally instead of trying to foresee an idealized future with them. Taking people off the pedestal also protects you from entering narcissistic and abusive relationships.
Okay, let me talk about my experience. So, I met this guy I was fascinated with him, I immediately put him on a pedestal but when I started to talk to him, I realized how average he was and I lost interest because he wasn't initiating anything. I cut ties with him and yet again for some unknown reason he comes back into my mind, over and over again and I stopped daydreaming or romanticizing and I don't see anything about him specifically that attracts me to him. What I'm getting at is that I've done everything you said and it didn't work, nor is this feeling logical AT ALL. And I really hate how we want to make everything logical or in a box, feelings are simply not logical and they never will be.
the second point is completely me! the reason I keep thinking about him despite knowing him a bit too well and being disgusted by him, I still am thinking about him. I realised this way before that I indeed was jealous of him. more than the idea of being with someone like him, I wanted to be him. I have unconsciously said many times I wish I was him or I wish my life was like his I wish I looked like and had charm like him. he's outgoing, party person, charming, loud, carefree and goodlooking. meanwhile I'm awkward, anxious, quiet, never partied, always inside my home and have like 2 friends and not goodlooking either. it's a weird type of obsession. my thoughts of him seem to disappear when I have fun but again return back when I feel alone lonely sad and just boring.
Omg 💀💀 so now I know the reason for my obsession too... when he introduced me to his group of outgoing friends and I felt everything was possible I started to feel I need to stay in his life... because otherwise I was afraid to do anything without him
I can relate with u buddy. This shit is happening to me now, after I caught up with a friend recently. Hoping I'll come out of this obsession soon. 🫥 🫠
What if someone enters your life for a little time and then goes away too far to reach. And you can't do anything but obssess over them without knowing them. It's impossible to forget then.....
Well ..Time will fade those memories or the future or scenarios we imagined with them.. keeping oneself busy and meeting new ppl can also help..i guess😄
same.. got ghosted, and now all I can really do is wait and hope that she'll contact me again. it's been so long that it's probably not happening, yet I'm still unable to get her off my mind. maybe it does still help a little bit to remember that she's just a regular person like everybody else. and maybe her positive outlook on everything is that attractive quality that I could try and learn for myself. (+ her just being physically super attractive. I'm not quite sure how to spin that one 😅)
The world is abundant with love, and we will not lack by releasing what is not ours. If it's ours it will come back, If it doesn't thanks for the lessons 🙏🏽
This is how manifestation work! I gave myself a new year resolutions to solve my issues and see i got your video!!! I really really thank you a lot for making this video ❤️.... Thank you for showing me the way correctly. I love you ❣️
My reaction to the tips. Tip 1: I got to know them better and I like them even more now. Tip2: I haven’t been able to pinpoint one reason why I like to be with them. I just feel happy when I am with them. Don’t know why.
Can't be so generalized. Obsession can also come from the fact that they gave you a vibe or treated you in a way that you have been craving for all your life... They made you reach a point of heightened satisfaction that you never consciously was aware of existed in you, but they brought about that desire in you and now they are gone... It can be intellectual, psychological, sexual or emotional or a combination of all the four etc.
I have this immense feeling towards a guy and IDK how to control and behave myself. I've read several articles but those didn't help. Watching your video really helps me to rationalize what I'm feeling for him. So, thank you sm THANK YOUUU
Its seems as women in modern times, we are becoming obssessed with men for the lives they get to lead, which seem free and unrestrictive, compared ours which have heavy responsibilities, esp if you have children.
Lol women barely have any responsibility compared to men. A man is responsible for so much more and will be punished more for not fulfilling their responsibilities.
I agree with this video. I used to get the hugest unwarranted crushes on military guys besides being pretty neutral and not specifically pro war. In fact, I did not really care about war at all. I think I wanted to be more disciplined and more brave, and to live a more adventurous life of signing up for more unknowns and taking more risks. I have been consciously trying to become that for about 5-6 years now and I no longer get huge unwarranted crushes on military dudes. I am slowly gaining and building the qualities I want to become.
Whenever I love a song, I keep listening to it over and over until I get bored of it 😅....I follow this same "obsession" technique to get over someone that I'm obsessed with 🤦
I became obsessed with a narcissistic person and honestly it's a hell of a ride. I know they are not good for me and i get hurt every single time because it's always me apologising for everything, even if it's not my fault and yes now that I've watched this video it actually hit me why i am obsessed in the first place. Thank you so much for uploading this video,, i shall try it and also work on myself for becoming a good person.
Never was the topic explained so beautifully in so less words. 🙏🙏 The Breakthrough in all toxic and anxious attachments is the realisation of the fact that we don't want to "Be with the person" but we want to "Be the person" and in not having the desired qualities we ourselves in our own perception become the baggage because we need to quickly respond to the objectionable behaviour of the other not giving ourselves enough time to analyse, cultivate and incorporate their qualities in ourself, thus being in this relationship quickly spirals down to "Being poisoned with what was to be our soul's liberating elixir." We need to understand that relationship is external addition whereas self development is internal change, thus relationship can lead to self realisation or self detriment but never self development because more often than not the person we are falling for is our shadow , we need to observe and learn from them not marry them.
I'm obsessed with a girl right now cause she is legit the most beautiful girl I ever seen and she has the same taste as me in almost everything (which is a very specific taste). Can you really blame me when you find someone like that? Good thing we will go on a date soon though.
Update: Went on a date, my obsession with her showed by me trying way too hard to be liked which made her think I had low confidence and she doesn't want to go on another date. ''The only thing I don't like about you is your lack of confidence and I am also not very confident so this is not going to work''. I'm completely destroyed about this.
@@dotexe4981 wish i saw your post earlier, was gonna say if you know youre obsessing over someone then its already over. make them obsess over you instead.
I know this is kinda off subject but I've noticed when I'm jealous of someone.... i really appreciate there point of view on life or that subject and would like to incorporate that into my own life or the way they handled a situation compared to the way I thought it should of been handled. Thank you for your videos just ran into them a couple of days ago. Thank you
Thank you 😭 he’s left the school and I’ve actually stopped eating that im so upset. I would check his location often and stalk him at school😅 I’ve saved and took screenshots of all his TikToks. It’s been distracting me from school too much so maybe it’s a blessing that he’s gone. I’ve never even formed a full conversation with him, so I don’t know why I’m so devastated.
I guess I needed to hear that. I just couldn’t figure out of how to not get too attached and step back for a bit but thanks to all that she said… it’s a big thing I always wondered what is soo special or attractive about a person and suddenly I couldn’t be happy about myself and my own life anymore. It’s tough but we can do it
This is just so true i was lately obsessed with a girl from my school and after watching this video i am slowly realizing that i was maybe not so into her but i wanted to be her, she had a cool haircut , cool glasses and she herself was so cool and now i will try to be cool like her and i hope this helps me get outta that obsession I'm having from a long time
I agree, Fran. When we are in love, all of her "defects" come across as qualities. Once the love is gone, you can see how much of an arrogant insecure jerk she really was. If a "hot girl" is unpleasant to me, I always start looking for flaws, such as gigantic feet or overly long toes, so that I can stop thinking of her a perfect. Once I've "deconstructed" her, I can treat her as my equal and not as if she was a "star" and myself a mere "fan"
I analysed but I found that I am obsessed because I find a suitable partner in him.. he have all these good qualities that i would like to have in my partner.. i don't want to be him.. i like being on my own.. i also noticed his bad qualities.. but I still can't get over him.. maybe i think that these kind of persons are rare.. need to get to know about more people..
My obsession with my crush is so deep that I can't let go of it even if I know it's a fantasy that has nothing to do with the real person it's based on.
I had a friend named Francesca when I was younger. I had to move away and never had the chance to say goodbye. She was from Italy and had an accent. You reminded me of her. You’re very well spoken.
But what if you've had the relationship and after sexual intimacy the woman has raised oxytocin levels which are released after their interactions. They they break up The obsession then begins because of their attachment and oxytocin. They know the other person's flaws but they became obsessed with them because the other person rejected them. Women generally are not used to rejection as much as men. I think a different strategy would be needed. They already know the flaws of the other person.
i got to know him soooo much better after falling but that made my love only get so much stronger. and than with that love, i started to become a better person, i fixed the things i didn't like about me and actually developed some of the qualities that i liked about him myself. but once again, eveything changed but my deepest love for him never vanished. i know his flaws, i know he makes mistakes and i know he can hurt me at times but he knows hot to make meel feel good. i love him with eveything that he is, with his stupid mistakes and frustrated moments. we are close friends now, after spending nearly every single day together for more than a year. and i still cannot help myself with being utterly in love with him.
After watching ur video I realised I was only obsessed bcos of his status and nothing else. Few minutes later I realised there is nothing fancy about him and I can actually get myself one with no toxic traits ... Thanks for the video ❤much love
Yeah, that second technique makes a lot of sense to me, even though I am 100% sure that your two techniques together will only cover some of the existing obsession cases. It is a good start to see what qualities you like in that person and if you can acquire them.
What if getting to know her leads to being attracted even more, as a real person with flaws and failures is so... amazingly human. And I'm not talking about protection instinct. She is badass, grown up and kind. The more I learn, the more I want to be with her.
Wow mam, you are soo knowledgeable. The way you think is really unpredictable. Your concepts are full of knowledge and information and very realistic and grounded.
we sometimes romanticise someone so much that we forget we dont know anything about them
(Edit:woah these are so many likes😭❤️)
Btw, have you guys heard of the #SaveSoil #ConsciousPlanet movement before? Also #Innerengineering 🦋
Fr! I sometimes forget that I have never even had a full-on conversation with the girl I (used to) like and that I always thought of her, but I doubt she ever thinks of me. It's so hard to move on from that 'crush' of mine because I foolishly truly loved her with all of my heart even if I knew her heart belongs to another.. damn..
I worked with him for a short time and it was like we had almost everything in common. And there’s so much more to my story but it doesn’t matter because he’s married and has a family. I need to get over him and stop fantasizing about him and whatever “connection” I have to him because I can’t have him in the way I’d ever want as well as unhealthily fantasizing over him.
@@internetstrangerdanger3790 how did u get over
@@amruth2545 First thing I did was to learn how to love myself, and how I should accept that she just doesn't like me. No matter what I did. and that chasing and chasing over something so pointless isn't worth my golden precious time, which I'm wasting loving the wrong person. (Oh and I like someone new now lol maybe that's also the reason)
The line you told :
“You actually grow your obsession by trying not to be obsessed “ is damn true …
It's like trying to avoid an intrusive thought. The more you avoid it, the stronger it becomes.
yeah... but if i can't tell myself to stop thinking about them, and if i don't stop thinking about them, i start to fantasize and i fall in love with THOSE fantasies, what do i do?
@@xXCallMeAriXx I also face same problem… it’s very confusing feeling ! We can divert our mind to some work(passion , ambition,creativity meditation etc) or if this is also not working then we can just go with the flow and accept the fact that we are falling for them!!
@@Divinly-681 alr thanks sm!!!
Agree
1. Knowing them in and out, so that the spark is gone
2. Why am I obsessed with that person?
It's just because I wanted to live a life like them. So build myself, my appearance and my confidence
I know pretty much everything about Kristen Kathleen but I still am obsessed with her even though she isn’t the same person she was when I met her five years ago. She used to be into sex and drinking all the time and now she’s into God but all that did was make me turn to God to impress her.
I do want to live a life like her because she’s single and I’m married and I want to be able to do whatever I want like her. But I don’t have the guts to get a divorce because my family would hate me and even if I do, Krissy already told me her feelings for me are long gone and she wouldn’t be with me cause I’m not her type. So what’s the point of moving on when my life is good other than the fact I’m in love with other women who doesn’t want me?
@@ramsfan9209to answer the question you have at the very end of your message: Now it's time to turn inwards, focus and give that love back to yourself and appreciate what you do have. Whenever you feel desired on this "other woman," keep the thought in mind that she is not reciprocating that desire of you. The more you remember this, it will get easier to say "hey! I'm not wasting any more of my precious time or thoughts on someone that doesn't cherish or value me the same way!" Eventually, you'll feel empowered and self loving to a point where you'll only want to focus on yourself, thoughts and time and who or where you're willing to put emphasis of any of those things on or towards. You can still love this person as a person in general from afar, however, whenever the thought of loving this person that isn't loving you back then way you desire, redirect the focus of placing that love back to loving yourself even more in your heart. Just a suggestion. I hope this helps!
I'm obsessed with this person because they give me attention
Did you find any solution to it?
Im obsessed coz they don't💀
give yourself the attention yo get from him
I am a clinical outpatient therapist and I’m happy to say you are spot on about obsession. Absolutely excellent!!
But how do you apply this when it’s more of a sexual obsession?Like when the person just matches your sexual and romantic ideals way beyond what anyone else has and no one else you meet comes close.. or to put it another way … if you have a very specific type that’s difficult to find so you can’t really just replace it. I feel like it’s easy to get over something if you can replace it but what are you suppose to do when you can’t replace it with anything?
@@adorastelly8938 Telling yourself yourself the person is irreplaceable is part of what feeds the obsession. No one, and I mean no one, except God, is irreplaceable. All other relationships, even with family members, are temporary. Anything in life that is temporary is NOT irreplaceable.
@@whatsapphim9930 🤣
@@adorastelly8938 There is no magical solution despite what some people say on YT. I bet they sometimes cannot apply their wisdom and superior knowledge to regulate their feelings. The only solution is to let time heal and make you wiser so that you can avoid getting burnt as much as you did the first time you felt like that.
@@dwcushman1 Amen 🙏!!
".... I wanted to be him" this is the most relatable thing on the internet
Romanticising someone and leads to obsession is creating your mind that you can have this person eventhough you know for some reason, It will not be possible and since It will not be impossible, It will become more obsess to challenge yourself until you finally have this person.
Thanks Sis! In a world full of narcissists...this knowledge is golden
The world is not full of narcissists, the term is being very overused nowadays to describe anyone just like toxic
@@dimv2140 yea
@@dimv2140the word is full of alot of narcissism they just undiagnosed since they think they never wrong
@@dimv2140how you know they didn’t deal with one lmfaoo
@@user-hf6cd7bc7t I never said they didn’t deal with one maybe you should read more carefully. I said the world is not full of narcissists and that’s true. Expressing narcissistic behaviour once in a while and being a narcissist is not the same thing dude. Narcissism is not just being selfish it’s an actual disorder, people call everyone a narcissist these days, yet they only make up a small percentage of the world.
i think the best way to get over someone or your obsession is to go out and meet new people. talk to anyone. old ladies, people you are not attracted to, people you are attracted to. your garbage man -- the person who bags your groceries. ask them about their life and listen -- people who sit next to you on the subway. ask them how their day was.
I would if they just put their phone down
@@mumtazansari9275 have you tried saying, "excuse me my name is... [insert some charming shit here]"?
@@Fernandez218 well excuse me my name is aurora **insert rizz shit here**
@@vviqxing I tried it. now I'm married!
Great idea!
I am prone to obsession so I needed this. That second point is especially interesting. Unless I'm (in love /obsessed) with a woman, I am not particularly self-motivated so that's why I'm attracted to women with a lot of drive and an adventurous, independent nature.
I think I have the same problem..I am not self motivated! The guy I was obsessed with once told me "not everyone can motivate themselves, some of us need a motivating person in our lives." And his gf was the same exact way and he married her. I can see her becoming a much better person because of him but I cannot find that for myself. I often just feel lost and depressed. What do you do in these situations? Is that just something we have to live with for our lives? How do we find our own motivation?! I hope someone will come up with a solution.
@@MissLida what is ur sun moon and rising sign first up?
@@sophiaedwards3956 what pill did you have?!
@@sophiaedwards3956 lmao what are you on sis
@@sophiaedwards3956 I know exactly where you’re coming from! A lot of people would understand their behaviours better if they considered natal chart placements. In the same way, if they know the sun sign or major placements of the person they’re obsessing over, that can show patterns too. I, for one, am intensely attracted to Aries and Scorpio people (sun, moon or rising).. I found the pattern a while ago and can now take a step back when I first spot signs of a larger than average interest on my part forming. (I’m Cancer sun, Sagittarius moon and rising, with a nice little obsessive Virgo Venus 😄🙏)
I’m obsessed with my ex and I don’t want be anymore. I know she has flaws, I know she was abusive, but I was raised that if it’s love you look passed someone’s flaws because you love them. She moved on so dang quickly (within a month) and I haven’t yet and it’s been over a year😓
I wish you strength! 🤗
@@carinaschmitt1 thank you❤️🙏
I feel you man...just accept it n find another girl...u will be fine
*you look past
Was in a same position, I loved her a lot but I knew I had to let go. I was hurt for months ( Still can feel the scars a year later)Worked on myself and I attracted someone else. Be careful though because you will attract people who are after something else… Good luck bro!!
This is such a perfect timing. I am obsessed with a guy in my office. But after getting to know him and talk to him, the "butterfly in your stomach" and obsession to think about him started to dissipate. It's such a weird feeling but it's comforting and unload my mind of off him. I have to make mental notes that whenever I overthink about him or someone I HAVE to talk to them, and that feeling would disappear.
Yes same
This is why I always tell guys to remain mysterious and give as little as information about yourself as possible while getting out as much information as possible about the other person.
I talked to Kristen Kathleen in our office. And I left a few notes on her car and now she says I’m Joe from You. Not quite the impression I was trying to make toward the love of my life
same thing but even after knowing he is a shitty person but few dats later he stopped talking to me for no reason it made me even more obsessed with him him ignoring me like i m not even there is driving me crazy i can’t stop thinking about him i feel like im so fucked
@@kulsoom3366 That's why narcissists ghost (not allow communication/talk). To make them more desirable.
Thank you so much for these tips! I’ve been wondering for a few years how to for good stop obsessing over guys that are emotionally unavailable or out of reach even though they are not good for me and not meant to be in my life anymore or at all. The third tip I have is to stop letting your friends and family’s opinions confuse you and breed your obsessions with people. It’d be best to communicate with them that you are working towards getting over obsessions and if they don’t respect that boundary, you can distance yourself from these people. Get to know everyone equally instead of trying to foresee an idealized future with them. Taking people off the pedestal also protects you from entering narcissistic and abusive relationships.
Well said
Okay, let me talk about my experience.
So, I met this guy I was fascinated with him, I immediately put him on a pedestal but when I started to talk to him, I realized how average he was and I lost interest because he wasn't initiating anything. I cut ties with him and yet again for some unknown reason he comes back into my mind, over and over again and I stopped daydreaming or romanticizing and I don't see anything about him specifically that attracts me to him. What I'm getting at is that I've done everything you said and it didn't work, nor is this feeling logical AT ALL. And I really hate how we want to make everything logical or in a box, feelings are simply not logical and they never will be.
Hey! Thanks for sharing your experience. I’ve been going through something very similar and this feeling sucks lol
@@jai9952same here 😔
the second point is completely me! the reason I keep thinking about him despite knowing him a bit too well and being disgusted by him, I still am thinking about him.
I realised this way before that I indeed was jealous of him. more than the idea of being with someone like him, I wanted to be him. I have unconsciously said many times I wish I was him or I wish my life was like his I wish I looked like and had charm like him. he's outgoing, party person, charming, loud, carefree and goodlooking. meanwhile I'm awkward, anxious, quiet, never partied, always inside my home and have like 2 friends and not goodlooking either. it's a weird type of obsession. my thoughts of him seem to disappear when I have fun but again return back when I feel alone lonely sad and just boring.
Omg 💀💀 so now I know the reason for my obsession too... when he introduced me to his group of outgoing friends and I felt everything was possible I started to feel I need to stay in his life... because otherwise I was afraid to do anything without him
I can relate with u buddy. This shit is happening to me now, after I caught up with a friend recently. Hoping I'll come out of this obsession soon. 🫥 🫠
What if someone enters your life for a little time and then goes away too far to reach. And you can't do anything but obssess over them without knowing them. It's impossible to forget then.....
Well ..Time will fade those memories or the future or scenarios we imagined with them.. keeping oneself busy and meeting new ppl can also help..i guess😄
same.. got ghosted, and now all I can really do is wait and hope that she'll contact me again. it's been so long that it's probably not happening, yet I'm still unable to get her off my mind.
maybe it does still help a little bit to remember that she's just a regular person like everybody else. and maybe her positive outlook on everything is that attractive quality that I could try and learn for myself. (+ her just being physically super attractive. I'm not quite sure how to spin that one 😅)
Her channel is growing faster than my mental health
The world is abundant with love, and we will not lack by releasing what is not ours.
If it's ours it will come back,
If it doesn't thanks for the lessons 🙏🏽
This is how manifestation work! I gave myself a new year resolutions to solve my issues and see i got your video!!! I really really thank you a lot for making this video ❤️.... Thank you for showing me the way correctly. I love you ❣️
what do you mean with manifestation?
@@bleachedgiraffe9457 read Neville Goddard. If we tell u something about it u would think of it as some sort of fancy thing.
My reaction to the tips.
Tip 1: I got to know them better and I like them even more now.
Tip2: I haven’t been able to pinpoint one reason why I like to be with them. I just feel happy when I am with them. Don’t know why.
Can't be so generalized. Obsession can also come from the fact that they gave you a vibe or treated you in a way that you have been craving for all your life... They made you reach a point of heightened satisfaction that you never consciously was aware of existed in you, but they brought about that desire in you and now they are gone... It can be intellectual, psychological, sexual or emotional or a combination of all the four etc.
Exactly 👋🏻👋🏻
Same
I have this immense feeling towards a guy and IDK how to control and behave myself. I've read several articles but those didn't help. Watching your video really helps me to rationalize what I'm feeling for him. So, thank you sm THANK YOUUU
Its seems as women in modern times, we are becoming obssessed with men for the lives they get to lead, which seem free and unrestrictive, compared ours which have heavy responsibilities, esp if you have children.
Yup exactly
🤨
😑 would u obsess over some other guy inspite of having children and husband??
Lol women barely have any responsibility compared to men. A man is responsible for so much more and will be punished more for not fulfilling their responsibilities.
I had too much to say but then i read your name.
I agree with this video. I used to get the hugest unwarranted crushes on military guys besides being pretty neutral and not specifically pro war. In fact, I did not really care about war at all. I think I wanted to be more disciplined and more brave, and to live a more adventurous life of signing up for more unknowns and taking more risks. I have been consciously trying to become that for about 5-6 years now and I no longer get huge unwarranted crushes on military dudes. I am slowly gaining and building the qualities I want to become.
The second advice is an absolutely game changer. Thank you young lady!
Whenever I love a song, I keep listening to it over and over until I get bored of it 😅....I follow this same "obsession" technique to get over someone that I'm obsessed with 🤦
So what did u do to your obssesive person
I became obsessed with a narcissistic person and honestly it's a hell of a ride. I know they are not good for me and i get hurt every single time because it's always me apologising for everything, even if it's not my fault and yes now that I've watched this video it actually hit me why i am obsessed in the first place. Thank you so much for uploading this video,, i shall try it and also work on myself for becoming a good person.
I see the flaws in them and still can’t get over my obsession. I’m going to try this technique.
Thanks a lot! I couldnt've stopped thinking about a person for 4 months unless I admitted I'm obsessed
Clear, straightforward, excellent advice.
Never was the topic explained so beautifully in so less words. 🙏🙏
The Breakthrough in all toxic and anxious attachments is the realisation of the fact that we don't want to "Be with the person" but we want to "Be the person" and in not having the desired qualities we ourselves in our own perception become the baggage because we need to quickly respond to the objectionable behaviour of the other not giving ourselves enough time to analyse, cultivate and incorporate their qualities in ourself, thus being in this relationship quickly spirals down to "Being poisoned with what was to be our soul's liberating elixir."
We need to understand that relationship is external addition whereas self development is internal change, thus relationship can lead to self realisation or self detriment but never self development because more often than not the person we are falling for is our shadow , we need to observe and learn from them not marry them.
I'm obsessed with a girl right now cause she is legit the most beautiful girl I ever seen and she has the same taste as me in almost everything (which is a very specific taste). Can you really blame me when you find someone like that? Good thing we will go on a date soon though.
Update: Went on a date, my obsession with her showed by me trying way too hard to be liked which made her think I had low confidence and she doesn't want to go on another date. ''The only thing I don't like about you is your lack of confidence and I am also not very confident so this is not going to work''. I'm completely destroyed about this.
@@dotexe4981 wish i saw your post earlier, was gonna say if you know youre obsessing over someone then its already over. make them obsess over you instead.
I know this is kinda off subject but I've noticed when I'm jealous of someone.... i really appreciate there point of view on life or that subject and would like to incorporate that into my own life or the way they handled a situation compared to the way I thought it should of been handled. Thank you for your videos just ran into them a couple of days ago. Thank you
This is so helpful! Feels like cognitive behaviour therapy. Thank you so much!
Thank you 😭 he’s left the school and I’ve actually stopped eating that im so upset. I would check his location often and stalk him at school😅 I’ve saved and took screenshots of all his TikToks. It’s been distracting me from school too much so maybe it’s a blessing that he’s gone. I’ve never even formed a full conversation with him, so I don’t know why I’m so devastated.
Perfect✨ These were the best 3 minutes ever. Thankyou!
I guess I needed to hear that. I just couldn’t figure out of how to not get too attached and step back for a bit but thanks to all that she said… it’s a big thing I always wondered what is soo special or attractive about a person and suddenly I couldn’t be happy about myself and my own life anymore. It’s tough but we can do it
i have a dependent personality disorder and tend to obsess a lot on a person that i currently like so this video means a lot to me ❤️ thanks
Same here🫤
Same here. The video helped though
1 min ! Maximum clarity ! Thank you !
2 minutes and so straight to the point you made it feel easy to do 😂. I'll keep this video on my favs, thanks a lot ❤
OMG why the video is so spot on! Really hits hard. Felt I got cured from this therapeutic advices 😅😅👍🏻
2nd advice is spot on.
this is awesome information! THANK YOU!
You helped me get to the root of my envy problems in less than 3minutes. You're a star and Thank You So Very Much.... ❤❤❤
She just breaks it into such simple thingsss....and so perfectly put
Such originality! Awesome! And very useful information as well. You're amazing.
Thank you so much. I needed to hear this!
I needed this so much today. Thank you.
This is so helpful! I love your insights, very eye opening☺️
Thank you so much for this! Really helpful!
thank you so much for sharing this information! i really needed this!
godddd i needed to hear this !! THANK YOU
Thank you. I needed this. ❤️
This is just so true i was lately obsessed with a girl from my school and after watching this video i am slowly realizing that i was maybe not so into her but i wanted to be her, she had a cool haircut , cool glasses and she herself was so cool and now i will try to be cool like her and i hope this helps me get outta that obsession I'm having from a long time
this is gold, thank you so much for sharing this info.
Amazing explanation! Thanks.❤
Wow you just hit me with a brick: I do not want to be with him, I want to be like him! That is really so true for my situation! Thank you!!!
It’s just so true! Thank you ❤
Thank you so much for this!
I love your advice and the way you deliver it 👌😊
Now that I am so obsessed with your worthy video., jokes apart, You doing great great job. More power and love to you
ABSOLUTELY GENIUS. ✅
Thank you so much i was confused myself 😌, i'll definitely follow your instructions.
I agree, Fran. When we are in love, all of her "defects" come across as qualities. Once the love is gone, you can see how much of an arrogant insecure jerk she really was. If a "hot girl" is unpleasant to me, I always start looking for flaws, such as gigantic feet or overly long toes, so that I can stop thinking of her a perfect. Once I've "deconstructed" her, I can treat her as my equal and not as if she was a "star" and myself a mere "fan"
Best advice I ever heard about this topic
Words of wisdom!
This is whst I needed! Thank you!
You have a gift for teaching, how simple and practical. I'm a big fan
Between your face and you’re information, I’m in heaven
Thank you so much! You're so right! I believe ypu saved me from being stupid again
What an explanation......thank you so much.
I analysed but I found that I am obsessed because I find a suitable partner in him.. he have all these good qualities that i would like to have in my partner.. i don't want to be him.. i like being on my own.. i also noticed his bad qualities.. but I still can't get over him.. maybe i think that these kind of persons are rare.. need to get to know about more people..
My obsession with my crush is so deep that I can't let go of it even if I know it's a fantasy that has nothing to do with the real person it's based on.
I am obsessed with you and your voice and your tricks 🥹
Thanks! Really needed that
Thanks so much for this! Now I know why I’m obsessed 😂
I had a friend named Francesca when I was younger. I had to move away and never had the chance to say goodbye. She was from Italy and had an accent. You reminded me of her. You’re very well spoken.
Thank you for everything girl, keep it up fam
This made so much sense, thank you 😅
Truth.Thank you & god bless🙏 ❤🇲🇾
Oh thank youuu girl,
I hope this will work for sure😭😭
I'll work on myself and will try become like the person I'm obsessed w.!!🤝🍷
But what if you've had the relationship and after sexual intimacy the woman has raised oxytocin levels which are released after their interactions. They they break up
The obsession then begins because of their attachment and oxytocin. They know the other person's flaws but they became obsessed with them because the other person rejected them. Women generally are not used to rejection as much as men. I think a different strategy would be needed. They already know the flaws of the other person.
Thank u sooo much. I think whatever u said is right❤😊
Yes I am obsessed to BTS and i accepted it and now i really really want to overcome this toxic obsession...and currently I am working over it....
They are talented but people just overhyped them yes they are good
can't believe mee too but only on one of the them but too much obsession
Same here
i got to know him soooo much better after falling but that made my love only get so much stronger. and than with that love, i started to become a better person, i fixed the things i didn't like about me and actually developed some of the qualities that i liked about him myself. but once again, eveything changed but my deepest love for him never vanished. i know his flaws, i know he makes mistakes and i know he can hurt me at times but he knows hot to make meel feel good. i love him with eveything that he is, with his stupid mistakes and frustrated moments. we are close friends now, after spending nearly every single day together for more than a year. and i still cannot help myself with being utterly in love with him.
Thanks for this great video. It kind of opened my eyes.
She is the best psychological influencer
This is the most sensible tip ever ✌🏻
Omg. This was damn eye opening.
Ohhh my god!! Exaaaactly what I needed!!
Your videos are so awesome ☺️ they help me alot
After watching ur video I realised I was only obsessed bcos of his status and nothing else.
Few minutes later I realised there is nothing fancy about him and I can actually get myself one with no toxic traits ...
Thanks for the video ❤much love
I've got to say... I'm so happy I came across this video! Thank you so much! Very well put and insightful! Happy New Year!!
thank you for this!!
Yeah, that second technique makes a lot of sense to me, even though I am 100% sure that your two techniques together will only cover some of the existing obsession cases. It is a good start to see what qualities you like in that person and if you can acquire them.
Very well said.
On my way of killing the same obsession . Half done .🙌
What if getting to know her leads to being attracted even more, as a real person with flaws and failures is so... amazingly human. And I'm not talking about protection instinct. She is badass, grown up and kind. The more I learn, the more I want to be with her.
this was unbelievable thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow mam, you are soo knowledgeable. The way you think is really unpredictable. Your concepts are full of knowledge and information and very realistic and grounded.