Actually, no. My father is autistic. My parents are divorced. My mother likes to blame things my siblings and I do on autism. Although there is a chance some of us are autistic, every one of us has wondered if we are, no matter how unlikely. The idea that if you wonder about something, you are that thing is quite damaging, especially to young girls who naturally want to fit in a group. I, personally, identified as trans for 2 years, mostly because I wanted my friends to keep being around me. Other kids will pretend to have interests in things they don't actually like. Some kids I know are going to become doctors even though they hate science. It's just socialisation at thus point, which is as good as masking
@@alexisericson241The fact that your father is autistic means there's a rather good chance that at least one of you are, there is no "no matter how unlikely". It's very strongly rooted in genetics.
I don't fully agree. Some people go around wondering if they're autistic, because they in fact are autistic, but others may wonder about autism because they have trauma, are very introverted or sensitive or both, or they may have social anxiety, or mental health issues in general. It's sometimes tricky to find out what is the cause for the issues that a person may experience.
@@NerielMi true, though a lot of those things can also be linked to neurodivergence. Such as HSP or highly sensitive person traits were based off of someone who was years later diagnosed with autism. Mental disorders like social anxiety, OCD, GAD, eating disorders and depression are often given to undiagnosed AuDHDers. Many medical/mental health services now advise that girls or women admitted to hospital with eating disorders be screened for autism. More than ONE THIRD of girls with eating disorders meet the diagnostic criteria for ASD! Social anxiety is often due to sensory overwhelm and executive dysfunction and a history of social exclusion, rejection and/or bullying for being different or not fitting in, all classic ND traits. Trauma I agree can be an exception, as there are cases where NT people are traumatised and abused, though again ND people (especially afab ND’s) are MUCH more likely to end up in abusive relationships (and therefore suffer trauma) due to not being able to read the red flags and know/set healthy boundaries.
Not diagnosed yet but scored 154 on the RAADS-R test. I did the same thing you did growing up. Copying people to fit in. I never thought to think that I was on the spectrum. I always thought autism was just full blown dependence on people for everyday life. Well until recently. Yours and a few other channels have been eye opening. Thank you for taking the time for making these videos.
I'm still not diagnosed. I'll be 40 in May! My brother, and my middle son are both on the spectrum since they were young. I never ever considered myself until a couple of years ago, but I hit most traits. I think I went under the radar because of a traumatic childhood, and also being an attractive female. My super power is plants, and random facts!
@katrinawoody6268 You could start by contacting your local mental health care center. I'm sure they could put you in touch with someone who does Adult Autism Evaluations. Good luck.
I was just diagnosed last year at 49, it’s never too late! ❤ Just talk to your doctor or you can find psychologists etc online who do adult autism assessments. The problem is HUGE waitlists and if you don’t want to wait you’ll prob have to pay out of pocket and it can be $800-5k depending who you see etc. For me it was worth it, I needed that validation because I was at a point where I didn’t trust my own judgment, even after a lot of research.
I was a late diagnosed autistic as well. I was 15 turning 16. I never got tested for autism growing up because i had no "motor or language impairment' issues and i did very well in school. But i would do things considered not socially appropriate or weird(e.g saying "who are you" to one of my grandmas friend or came up to us and not in a nice way), say my thoughts out loud, loved the feeling of silk tags, could not enter my garage because i hated the smell even though everyone else thought didn't smell) and i started acting out the second half of freshman year. I went to a licensed psychologist and did many different tests ranging from fine motor skills, academic achievement, ADOS (Autistic Diagnostic Observation Schedule), surveying parents and a teacher, etc. etc. I managed to get my Autistic diagnoses the first time i ever had to be tested for it. It has been a huge up and down battle trying to be more socially appropriate but also still be loving and accepting of myself. Your videos have help me so much with learning what are some of my other autistic traits i wasnt aware of.
@@heatnicoleher and even later! I'm 52, and was diagnosed at age 50. It's been very liberating yet depressing. I'm finally to a point where I can be my true self. But this knowledge would have been very helpful in my younger years.
hey, thank you for sharing! i recently found out i could be autistic when i was 15 turning 16, and for the exact same reasons you did 😂 it’s helped confirm my suspicions the more i read people’s experiences as late diagnosed or undiagnosed autistics 😊
i got yelled at by a girl for “trying to steal her boyfriend” WE HAD A CASUAL CONVERSATION ABOUT DOGS- i was like oh i’m sorry maybe i have a flirtatious personality? and she told me “oh i didnt know you apparently had that” and i was like ME EITHER? i’m just grasping for straws i promise i didnt want a relationship with him like that! and then i find out i have autism..
"Shes just shy" Was my ENTIRE CHILDHOOD - I was NOT a traditional little girl, very tomboy and played only independently, did not get along well with other kids, my energy always seemed different than everyone around me. I have heard a lot of people say they copied other people (valid), but I feel like I did the exact opposite because I had no option of fitting in. I was already perceived as weird and shy VERY early on so any social interaction was met with hostility. Instead, I vented all my energy into being hyperlexic, I was at a college reading level by 4th grade and never had any friends because I would spend hours avoiding everyone reading constantly. And I was never diagnosed because I was just the smart, shy girl... but all the other kids DEFINITELY knew I was weird, like crazy, not normal weird, and did not hesistate to let me know how they felt about me. I read a quote somewhere that one of the straightest thru lines for people with undiagnosed autism (maybe less so for kids who copied and masked) is having experienced bullying/ostracization in school because kids naturally group together and learn behaviors and the kids that dont... are weird in some inexplicable way that the other kids can sense and usually dont like
These videos are making me cry. Sometimes I think my brain is trying to hide from me that I’m aware of some of the points in Morgan’s videos. These videos sum up most of my childhood and teenage years. Thank you for reminding me that I am not crazy, delusional, or dumb. Just, tired of always practicing poise and never truly being myself even around my closest friends.
Undiagnosed 43yo…First 20 seconds of this… I was like YES 🙌…YES…🎉. Most of the time I just look at people and go WTF…. Morgan you’re amazing, this video is amazing! Spot on and truly relatable 🫶👌 thank you 🙏 keep them coming ❤ 😊
Fellow late dx'd chameleon here. 🦎 Howdy! 👋🏼 Female nb in my 30s. I really appreciate and learn so much from videos like these. Thank you, Morgan! 🫶🏻 Few years back I was terrified by the realization that I wasnt confident I'd ever had an opinion or tone of voice or personality that was "me." It's been life saving to learn that I'm autistic and ADHD. Glad (among many other rmotions, of course) to have found the folks who speak my language and are processing the dx as well. 🎉
I’m so used to mimicking people… I don’t know what my original baseline personality would be if I consciously stopped masking. Thankfully, my husband sees many of my autistic traits as adorable and he’s super supportive, but I’m sure I would be criticized by my parents if I ever let my guard down.
I’ve been considering adhd for a while but I’ve really been looking at autism as well recently. The problem I’m struggling with is trying to remembering my early childhood years as I’m a teen rn. Been obsessively going through old videos and pictures and looking for and autistic traits 😭😭
I’ve always known I stole characteristics I liked in people who were very well liked by others bc I just liked those quirky traits. It was never planned, I just seemed to pick it up and it became a part of me and I always phrased it “adopting personality traits” lol but I had no idea it was a trait of autism. I didn’t know anything at all about autism until I heard people discussing it and I became obsessed with the subject
I’m a male but I resonate a lot with the copying behaviors subconsciously. Finding out I was autistic would’ve been worse I think if I didn’t have a friend call me out on my tendencies in highschool. I think I was a freshman he was a junior. And he simply asked “are you cool?” And I’m like, “I don’t know I guess it depends on if someone thinks I’m cool or not” and he said “no, don’t wait for someone else to decide if you’re cool. You don’t have to act differently to try to fit in. If you’re cool, that’s up to you” or something to that effect. But it caused me to think and reflect and realize that I’ve been mimicking people my whole life to try to “be cool” and so I decided I needed to figure out who I myself was. Otherwise I probably would’ve had an identity crisis when I found out 15 years later. I still did it through highschool and college subconsciously but it probably would’ve been worse if it wasn’t for that guy.
I also relate on not really knowing who I was or what I even liked. After getting out of a toxic marriage I've started to really try to get to know the real me so I can be me.
Its actually funny, as an autistic person I never had these difficulties. I never developed masking at a young age simply because I wasn't pushed or taught to be "Feminine" "poised" or "perfect". I wasn't taught that at all, and if people thought I wasn't super feminine then they didn't say it. Of course as a kid, as a little girl, I loved girly things. I really liked to wear dresses, to do my makeup, paint my nails. I also really loved to wear dresses or skirts. But it was always perceived as girly or just me being a girl. For the makeup and painting my nails part, I just genuinely liked it. But for the dresses and skirts part, I didn't really wear dresses or skirts because I was girly or because I just liked to. For me it was a comfort reason. I had a lot of difficulties with pants, socks, and even underwear. So it was just easier to wear a T-shirt and a skirt or shorts or just a simple dress. But being an only child I did express weird and even abnormal traits. For example, since I was an only from since I was born I was used to my own bubble and having silence. But imagine an only child, who's autistic, transitioning into a public school with other kids who don't understand volume and are super loud. Yeah, that wasn't great. I don't remember this at all, but apparently I often went into panic mode because of it(told from my mom). And whenever we would have firedrills and I wasn't aware of it I would apparently scream bloody murder because of the noise cause I wasn't used to these things or loud noises. I might not have developed masking or been told to be perfect and to look a certain way, but I was bullied a lot verbally as a little kid. At school I was often called a "crybaby" because I would cry over small things that happened(but for me weren't small things) but I think I reacted in a form of crying because I didn't know how to react or to regulate my emotions. Even though I didn't develop masking how I present myself, I did start to feel a need to isolate myself from people by the 4th-5th grade. I also felt a need to hide my emotions when I felt sad, overwhelmed, or angry(which obviously isn't a good thing, since what I was doing was bottling up emotions that I had). And what's funny is that I never got along with other girls my age(now its not so bad since Im older, but I still don't get along with as many girls who don't know me) and I have always got along with boys my age. Idk why, maybe its because they are more straightforward and chill than girls? But a lot of girls just never liked me either for some reason. But another reason I think I never masked was because I was always raised to be myself and to only care about my opinion and no one else's.
The more I learn the more I am convinced that I am autistic. I’ve identified as an HSP since 2007. ADHD-I diagnosis at 46, but it wasn’t a full on neurocognitive evaluation. At this point I’ll never get an official diagnosis. 48, multiple sclerosis which has caused disability. My lifetime of masking has literally made me ill. Even my early stimming behaviors were taken away. My nervous system never stood a chance. But the damage is done. I don’t have the energy to figure it all out, and especially with my epically shitty HMO insurance, but just knowing has allowed healing that wouldn’t be possible otherwise. Thank you!
As a level 2 autistic person, I can honestly say that if you ever meet me you will never have to mask your symptoms in front of me, I don’t think that it’s a big deal to mess up in social situations to me because you’re not hurting anyone by making mistakes in your social life To all autistic people watching this, I love you for your special interests and how unique you truly are. I love you guys!! ❤😊😊😊 #autisticlove #autisticpeopleareawesome
Im learning about autism and developing kinda like an special interest of mine now with all these new informations that im gathering. Im not diagnosed officially by a psychiatrist (although my psychologist does think i fit the boxes), but the more I read and ask about, the more everything clicks. Im from Brazil and here is a mess, everything is a joke and there is a lack of programs on the subject. But honestly, its bein a journey. Thanks for the content and yes, you were absolutelly cohesive thought the entire video (and others ones too!) and i could understand you completely.
I have to wonder for myself, looking back on my life, if I was developing masking mechanisms at different phases- when I was in kindergarten and first grade, I nearly had to repeat because of my lack of participation. I remember being practically mute, especially around my teacher (who was honestly very kind), when I was in kindergarten. By first grade, I already knew how to read, but was still in the process of "figuring out school." Once I got to second grade, I understood what my role was and everything was fine, until I got to student teaching in college, which I almost failed. Being in front of the classroom was a completely new experience for me, and it felt almost as if I had blinders on in class- just get through the lesson plan. For a brief stint, I was in a religious community in my 20s, which was really unhealthy for me, mentally. Not only did I constantly feel misunderstood, but I had issues most notably with hyperfocus, not coping with things when they were out of routine, and rejection sensitivity.
I think I might be autistic but I'm really worried that I'm just being dramatic and I'm not currently able to get an autism assessment. But I've started compiling a list of autistic traits in teenage girls and taking different online autism tests which helps with the imposter syndrome :]
I felt that way before I was diagnosed. Still do after. I definitely encourage you to become self-diagnosed so you can be able to have a piece of mind 💕
@@xfreja it’s the self gaslighting. I caught myself thinking that “i am totally lying, there is no way” but then every action reminded me that it is accurate. I didn’t self-diagnose though because I didn’t feel comfortable about putting a label on myself until I was sure but I learned that it is actually common in the neurodivergent community after being formally diagnosed. I self assessed myself and it was the same results as my actual results but I decided to not take it too seriously until it was actually true. If you happen to self assess on the internet (there is actually an accurate site that does), take it with a grain of salt so you won’t be weirded out until the actual results
I watched this 9 signs you're not autistic video by other autistic creator, and I understood I might be autistic as well. I don't think I mask though (other creator talks about masking in girls too) - I kinda don't care that I behave "unusual". Well maybe I mostly mask my interests, because of that socializing thing, fine example are video games, I've been told by my granny that video games are only for kids (although there's a lot of them for ages 16/18 and above) and I'm 35, other things I don't like talk to people about is liking rock and metal music, anime, comics, collecting stuff about my favorite games and comic series, because of the fact they won't understand and/or won't share the interests and might find them childish or inappropriate for woman in hers mid 30ies.
Fun fact, I have yet to come across a single person with diagnosed social anxiety disorder who does not have noticeable AuDHD traits. It makes sense because pretty much ALL the things that drive social anxiety are symptoms of ND/ASD/ADHD: feeling different from others, misunderstood, communication differences, unpredictability, lack of control, sensory overwhelm, processing disorders, executive dysfunction, alexithymia, social trauma due to past bullying and rejection sensitivity dysphoria
Like I have intense interest in video games and I've always been highly interested in gender since I was in kindergarten and started learning about gender differences. My favorite show ever was community and still is lol
Omg coffee makes me talk too lol 😂 I never knew I was doing it as a kid but looking back, I def masked. I think I used TV for references on how to talk/act with my peers. I would come home from school exhausted from masking all day. My son it was trains, cars, etc... He was diagnosed at 9, I'm 40 and undiagnosed but I'm pretty sure I'm autistic too.
i think my special interest is like- animals. mainly dogs. i know so much about dogs and when people ask me about them i will fully dump on them (probably make them feel weird afterwards). or gilmore girls. i know so much about that show😭 (i don’t have diagnosed autism)
The "perceived as flirty" thing, I think I've got the reversed going on. I'm often told "you're pretty and elegant, but you look scary, moody and unapproachable". I don't want to scare people away, I don't know what I'm doing that makes people think that... Watching your videos, I'm starting to understand things about myself and the way others see me.
Hi I am a teen girl with autism, and I am so used to masking. But I don’t often script phrases that I want to say before saying it. I only script when I have so much to say. So I often speak in a blunt and truthful way, I lost some of my friends due to this reason. My autism is mild and also I mask like pretty much all the time so people don’t know I have autism and they think I am being mean / rude. There’re also times that I cannot mask cuz of too much pressure. Last year, after finishing my exam, I am so worried about my grades that I just can’t mask. I started stimming all day, vocal stimming, twirling…. My parents were worried. 😢
My 16 year old said the other day, "We should go get diagnosed together!" Come on executive functioning, dont fail me now! But seriously, it is daunting to think about choosing a doctor and going there to potentially be Austism doubted and splained... Sigh.
i have learned to mask so much that professionals wont believe me but not enough to avoid getting bullied during my formative years 🥲 i have given up trying to have anyone believe me so i can get targeted help for my issues. i have been told things like "you make eye contact, thats already a big sign you arent autistic" (i constantly force myself to look people in the eye since i was told its rude even though its massively anxiety inducing for me), "autistic people arent shy, they are very extroverted and you arent" (after i told this doctor i have been consistently bullied in my child and teen years because i was a little off compared to other kids), "i have a masters degree in autism and you dont have it" (mind you this person had only seen me twice for less than an hour). every time its just pain and fear of rejection so much that i am scared to ask anything anymore. i have even told them about my intense, constant burnouts throughout the years and the way i used to mimic and pretend to be socially "acceptable". oh and they compliment me so much on how articulate i am about my traumas and what not. i dont know how else to tell them that i want to throw up and cry the moment i touch a specific book cover plastic or try to wear nylon clothes. jessica it aint normal. what else do you need me to do to classify as "autistic enough" to even be remotely considered for a screening?
Unfortunately, this is all too accurate. I got a lot of the “marching to the beat of her own drum” as a kid, as well as lining up ALL of my toys in order, and not speaking until 3. To make it worse, I have an autistic parent and an autistic grandparent (both diagnosed in the 60’s), but somehow all the signs were missed until a teacher basically bullied my parents into getting me evaluated at 16. I kinda just brushed it off because that was the “don’t label me!!” rebellious phase. Later my son began showing signs, so I started taking things more seriously. He was evaluated at 2, diagnosed (lvl3), through therapies has made it to level 1. Now I tend to advocate for the kids and help bridge the understanding of the parents when it’s things their kids can’t articulate, help talk them through fears, and generally be a sounding board, since I understand the relationship dynamics from both sides. For several parents, I point out to them when I see it, that a lot of them have their own variety of neuro spicy and recommend they talk to someone about it (haven’t been wrong yet!). Keep spreading awareness and doing you!
Hey thank you for this video. I've been wondering if i might be autistic for a few years now. I recognize myself so much in many autistic traits, but not really on others, because i became so good at small talk and putting myself "out there", i make so much efforts to make people comfortable around be to the point it becomes exhausting for me (my boyfriend always tells me, why do you care so much if they're comfortable ?! He doesn't care at all lol) I confessed my thoughts to a psychiatrist that had a phone interview with my mom to talk about early signs of autism but my mom told us i didn't have trouble communicating, pointing or looking as a toddler, so my psychiatrist told me it would be very unlikely that i'd have autism, he thinks i might have ADHD. Thing is, i think my mom and dad are on the spectrum too (psychiatrist didn't flinch when my mom told him she never got out of the house when we were kids, and that she didn't know how i behaved with kids other than my siblings because we never went to the park or social events). I don't know what to think about all this, i'm 30 and have been struggling with relationships and executive dysfunction my whole life, i had a major depression at 15 that made me almost lose interest in my lifelong obsession with horses (i still have 5 horses to take care of but i kinda lost the spark...) I thought i finally explained my failures and that i would finally give myself a break but this interview made me think maybe i'm heading in the wrong direction... What do you guys think ?
I a 'woman' found out that I was autistic at 42. I can't tell you upset and relieved I was to find out. I have a son who is non verbal autistic him and I have a lot of the same quirks. I've always tried my best to hide my stims and quirks because I learned at a young age that it wasn't 'normal'. I was made fun of my family and friends.
9:45... I got really good at masking for an entirely different reason, while just recently over 30s years later I found out I was diagnosed as a kid but my parents never told me because they chose to not believe it, but anyways I was not just autistic but also trans at the same time even though I wouldn't learn what trans was and be able to be my true self till much more recently, so not only did I have to mask autism but I also had to put on a persona to mask the fact I am trans, so not only did I have to act neurotypical but I also had to act like a boy/man when I am a trans woman, so I had to combine and wear two separate masks for the better part of 3 decades.
I was told the squeaky wheel gets the grease, so I tried to never mask in hopes I would finally understand myself. I still didn't get diagnosed till I was in my mid 30's. 🤬
I don't think people automatically assume that autistic women must be ugly - it's just that there are a lot of them that don't give a sh** about fashion! All the autistic girls I know have very short hair and wear pretty crappy clothes. Actually I've never met one that looked feminine at all. Okay it's not like I know too many, but I myself never cared about fashion or makeup either and my hair is long only because I don't like people touching me, or change in general.
Couple of interesting things here. I am not officially diagnosed and am not paying for an assessment for myself (yet), but do have ADHD and a psychiatrist who thinks there's a strong chance I'm autistic. I notice signs of ADHD and/or autism in both my son and daughter, but they're super young, waiting for assessment. My son is very external, my daughter is very much the quiet "away with the fairies" type. She tends to have sensory issues but is much better at looking at people and socialising. But she's been that way since she was like 1, and she's only 3 now, so she didn't have time to be socialised in a particular way (and for what it's worth, I don't believe in that crap anyway). I understand that the socialisation aspect compounds the issue, but I think they can present differently from the outset, based on my admittedly anecdotal experience. The flirting bit was funny to me, both my mother and I have had that issue, and I'm in my early 30s now. It's an inherently misogynistic view as well, because honestly sometimes it feels like no matter what you do you're accused of flirting. Whether you're avoiding eye contact or talking animatedly. Imagine having that kind of arrogance, that you think women are almost always flirting with you.
I'm laughing at myself now. I was thinking about my adaptation to social standards as I changed schools. I even told a teacher, "I could fit in if I wanted, but too many people recognize me here." "I just need 1 more school change, and I've got all the information needed to fully blend in." We were conversing about my ostracization at school, and difficulty socializing. She thought I was being weird on purpose. I had said how I disagree with social standards, as they are arbitrary, constraining and boring, but I was born weird, and I could fit social standards if I moved to a place people didn't know I was weird in the first place. FML I was building the masks in my mind, and when I moved schools, I wore the masks lmao. I got diagnosed as not having Autism so many times. "has good Eye contact, articulate, intelligent, understands metaphors. Can't be autism." Even when I finally got diagnosed at age 16, no one treated it, or told me what it was. They just kept calling it "high functioning autism" over and over. They described it poorly, and had bad conclusions for how it worked. They blamed me for being socially inept. Reinforced the idea that I had to mask. They never even described masking to me. I only started learning about it a few years ago. The more I learn about Autism, the more I see its traits permeate my childhood. My kid has ASD as well, and even that looks different enough from what I experienced, I wasn't connecting the dots until these last 2 years. I was in a class, and my kid was playing outside with another group of kids. My kid just left the rest of them, and we had to go find my lost child. Didn't take long, they were fine. Just doing ASD things. But in my head, I wanted to keep an eye on the kids anyway. I thought it was odd the rest of them were fine with themselves. Like the other parents were telling me, "come inside the kids are fine without adult supervision for a little bit." I was the ASD parent of an ASD child and didn't connect the dots that doing something off by yourself was a total ASD thing, to be able to warn them "nah, I need to keep an eye on my kid." Life is so weird
My friend whose been masking her whole life thinks im autistic and we joke that it makes sense in a lot of ways but i also dont have stims. And i dont have any problems making friends. I did get bullied as a kid cuz i always felt like i acted like spongebob lol: annoyingly goofy and excited by things. I do have a weird affectation that i still dont understand if its an autistic thing or what. I used to have the compulsion to copy everything said on Tv. I had to repeat it after they said it. It annoyed everyone in my house. Now as an adult i only have the strong compulsion to copy accents or if people say things in a funny way. And thats irl too, not just in tv. But the need is stronger if its on tv.. maybe cuz i know it wont make someone thing im mocking them.. idk
"By that point, you're basically just made of pieces of other people that you've stolen and mix-matched into a person." I'm just sitting here like, ...is that not how people create themselves? Lol good to know!
I'm a girl and I'm getting tested for autism, but I don't think I've ever masked like how the video described. Does that mean I'm probably not autistic?
I think it best not to lean in so much on the ‘socialisation’ explanation. All we know is that boys and girls are different. To say that the presentation of autism depends solely on socialisation is to state that boys and girls are identical at birth and only society makes us differ in the slightest. This isn’t very plausible, and shouldn’t be prejudged. It also means that to make autistics exhibit autistic traits at the low rate that women do, all we need do is put pressure on everyone to be polite and sociable.
One correction as a fellow social science person: children are socialized based on perceived gender/prescribed gender, not their actual gender. A seemingly small, but actually big, difference. I'm agender myself, but was perceived as a girl and socialized as one which is why I understand the "girl/woman experience" though I'm not one. This of course includes not being diagnosed with autism until I was 36. So, under diagnosis isn't just in girls, but in pretty much everyone that isn't a boy, especially a white boy.
i am undiagnosed with ASD but years of my own research & going back into past memories and trauma i KNOW i am autistic, my mother tells me that she was just like me at my age & im not like my brother, who IS DEFINITELY on the autism spectrum, for years as a small child i masked & became somebody i am not & nobody seems to understand that when i explain, when i tell people they go “oh, you don’t look autistic!” or “no, you’re not autistic.” Autism being overlooked in the female gender is horrible, we aren’t treated &/or helped as much with our symptoms like a man would be. A boy could be on the floor screaming & people would be like “oh, autism!” but if a girl does it they are perceived as “dramatic” or “having ‘girl’ emotions.”
Did you know that the way Autism typically presents in girls, that was only recently discovered to be autism, also presents the same way in many overlooked boys? I was one of the boys (now 46) who was always overlooked as autistic because my autism looked much more like the overlooked girls and not like the stereotypical autistic guys. 🤷♂️
I feel like i am autistic but i am scared of telling my parents about it(i am still relatively young) and i have no clue what to do about it. I wanna get diagnosed so i can do better in school but i just can't build up the courage to tell anyone Edit: If anyone sees this and you have advice pls tell me
My special interest was whales from ages 3-10, and even though it wasn’t something generally considered normal for girls, it got overlooked because I was just “smart”. I copied people to try to fit in, but everyone I wanted to be like was neurodivergent, so now my “neurotypical” traits are finger guns and sound effects, so I still don’t “fit in”.
And yes, i was labeled as flirty from about the age of... 5 years old and onward? Over the past few days, im realizing how wild it is that i was sexualized from that young age. I have pretty privilege, i think. And there's definitely racial privilege in my story. Im pasty white. And this treatment - sexualizing my hair twirling stims, etc. - has had impacts that will take me a while to process, for sure. 🙃
Hey, I was wondering if anyone on here could help me. I'm a fourteen year old girl and I suspect I'm autistic, however, I am confident around people and because of this I think my parents would not look at the other traits I display. I think they'll just say I can't be autistic because I don't get scared around strangers but I really want an assessment. How can I tell them that I think I'm autistic and want an autism assessment?
Wait so "you don't look autistic" is supposed to be a compliment? I guess I see it too literally and I thought they tell me I'm making it up and they don't believe me.
Idk if you're asking the woman in the video specifically or just asking people in general, but I'll assume it's the latter. Maybe make a point of how varied autism is. A lot of allistic people have a very rigid idea of autism and you most likely don't fit into that narrow idea. What might help with that and dissuade immediate denial (i.e. _No, you're not autistic_ ) is having some examples of autistic people who aren't specifically men with high support needs who either excel in some field or are a walking encyclopedia on some topic. Even - and this is gonna sound weird - showing the profile pictures of autistic creators on youtube or elsewhere whose stuff you like and saying "all these people are autistic" might be a good idea, just showing that you don't need to look some certain way since we all look like, well, people.
Is there any correlation between being someone like me, who is transgender (mtf), and being on the autism spectrum? Looking back on my life, I often wonder how my parents didn't suspect at all that I was autistic. I had very huge special interests as a kid, like Lego, Star Wars, Transformers, Sonic the Hedgehog, music, history, etc. I was very shy, and didn't quite know how to communicate well, or socialize with other people. Sooooo, I guess I'm confused. What do you think?
There is a correlation, yes! Autistic people are _statistically_ more likely to be trans or otherwise gender-diverse than allistic people. I personally don't think that it's something directly in the brain, but more the way we interact with the world that makes it more likely to embrace a gender identity that's not cis or gender non-conforming. I don't understand what part exactly is confusing to you so I don't know what else to say on the topic. You can elaborate if you'd like.
Oo yes… I subscribe to the “Elle Woods” theory of autism. I went to elementary school in the 90s and there’s no way I could get diagnosed then. I showed clear signs on into now and it’s tough. I tried to get my son diagnosed with autism despite me struggling so much with obvi signs I 100% for the differences in autism presentations.
I was raised by very strict parents who didn't "believe" in autism, and I accepted all the issues I faced when I was younger were just due to my personality, and I've been very depressed and full of self-hatred thinking I was just a bad person, going through high school struggling to cope, but this channel and others like this have shown me the challenges I face are probably actually autistic traits, and it's amazing to know I'm not alone, thank you so much for making the content you do and sharing your journey, and helping me recognise some of my own behaviours I didn't even realise were "abnormal" God bless you ❤
i really relate to this, it was so difficult. i saw professionals growing up and they never bought up any neurodiversity exept dyspraxia which i'm pretty sure my parents kept from me. it's really sad that people hate autism so much unconciously that they'll label autistic traits as bad / what bad people are. really manipulating the image of self. i do not miss being a child holding a burden thinking it's my fault
OMG, it is so true. I was a child with diagnosed ADHD and undiagnosed ASD in Texas. Corporal Punishment in school and at home because of my ADHD. They'd beat me for things caused by my ADHD, like getting distracted, or disrupting class, answering questions without raising my hand, or talking to someone during the lesson. They'd beat me for problems caused by my ASD too, but they didn't know I had ASD. They knew I had ADHD! That's why it was so messed up! I had the diagnosis, and they would tell me it's not an excuse, then beat me with whatever object they had around. Because spankings would hurt their hands. When they finally decided to stop beating me a couple years later, they'd make me go run outside to "cure" my ADHD. "You're being too expressive and hyper, go run around to tire yourself out." Great, now I'm tired and embarrassed but still have ADHD. Like trying to cure drunkenness with coffee and a cold shower. Just a cold, wet, wide-awake drunk. When I changed homes, my mom video taped me doing tics and stims, to try and point out how weird I was, to try and make me stop having them. They even mislabeled every tic to embarrass me about it even more. "You're sniffing your armpits." No, I was just doing a mouth stim while I had a head twist tic. So, I have this love of science. My special interest is all things science. I thought I could treat away all my trauma. But I've come to realize, I can only cope with trauma in healthy ways. That doesn't get rid of it. I'm doing everything right, but it's still there. I was wrong to think I didn't have trauma because I addressed it in healthy ways. It's just automatic bodily processes. Every trauma test I take, I score very low on, and it suggests I don't have trauma, because the understanding of trauma is poor.
I’m 27 and undiagnosed. Recently been accused of being fake when I finally tried to stop masking. Now I’m in this horrible cycle of playing someone else cause no one knows the real me
I dont know about you, but I have found family to be the hardest people to be myself around. When ever I have tried to be myself in the past one of them, God forbid more than 1 at a time, will ask "are you okay" me=😐 (with a mass accumulation of emotions going on inside) I will go to a different part of the house and cry. Since it's so difficult for me to explore being myself to the people who know me, I will go out to the store (any store) and explore being myself. I find it less harsh to be myself around people I don't know because (and this is always what I tell/remind myself). "They don't know you, therefor their judgement of you doesn't matter." Like it doesn't even make the list of things to worry/ruminate about. You should give this a try.
Can I just say that I have recently found your channel because Google has suddenly reminded me that I have autism and I really love your channel because you’re so open and honest and fun and easy to listen to because I don’t know if you’re about you but I have misophonia, and you have an easy voice to listen to, and I just thought I’d let you know that. Keep up the good work.
There needs to be more studies done on ANYONE vs only boys/males. Not only for autism but for ADHD or a combination of both. Seriously, why hasn't this been done in the let's just say last 20+ years?!
Because studying women in a medical sense is e.g. unfortunately often more expensive than studying men, and because studies are supposed to come with very clear results. Studying women often gives not as clear results so these studies are dismissed or, more often, never done, because they are in more danger to be dismissed in publishings, which can highly endanger the career of a researcher as a whole who needs to do a certain number of publishings. That is at least what I've learned from a medical book I've read recently which for example talked about how men can always be tested medically, while for women their periodic cycle often needs to be taken into concern, although I dont know if that is the case with psychological topics as well. The doctor in that book furthermore said that being a researcher comes with a lot of pressure and you're often dependend on getting your researches published to have a career ar all/ to get further financing, so you're trying to do studies that are fast, likely to get published and cheap. I've also heard stories from researchers standing up for finding out more about medical differences between men and women and being shamed for it because they're perpetuating the idea that men and women are biologically different. I'm not an expert so I'm sure there's more and different reasons to it, but to me the fact that women have mostly been medically ignored in the last centuries is a deeply rooted issue that needs a lot of work in different fields to finally get better. And in case that isnt clear, I totally agree with you that it is outrageous that in 2024 so much in super common medical things isnt known about how it presents in women at all and that it isnt way more of a talked about issue that women need to be studied more medically because most knowledge we have as a society is knowledge about men. Which is kind of insane. And in case your question was meant sarcastically, sorry for getting that wrong.
@@suzanimhoff2345 we can agree on that! My comment was slightly tinged with sarcasm but mostly frustration, learning about how ADHD affects daily life is something I've been trying to do. Thank you for taking the time to reply!
I 100% agree with you!! Luckily I was diagnosed with autism at the age of 6. But there’s a couple things I don’t like about having autism. 1 of them being that some people have stereotypes about it, like in my school the teachers used to act like we’re dumb or once I was at the bus stop with my mum because I was going to an appointment and a lady asked if I was autistic. When my mum said I was she said she thought I was because I seemed smart. Which, thank you for the compliment but autism is a spectrum and is different for everyone. Not every autistic person is smart. Another thing I don’t like is, basically in year 7 and 8 I had to get the taxi to school because I couldn’t get the bus to school properly. People used to say to me that I’m so lucky that I get a taxi, and I know they probably meant it as a compliment but it didn’t feel like it because to me it’s just another reminder that I’m different
What you said about mimicking RUclipsrs who you watch is exactly what I have done many times. I start watching somebody and after a while, I’m suddenly talking just like them and using their mannerisms and even laughing like them.
Late diagnosed male, & in my family have both stereotypical experiences of this but both in males. I very much relate to this video; the intense masking & politeness & need to be very articulate to try have my needs met, & then getting to my 20s & hitting the inevitable crisis of not having a clue who I actually am & getting diagnosed. My brother always had a 'more typical' male presentation with lower masking & social skills, & partly hid me growing up because He was what autism looked like, & by comparison I was just a bit 'quirky' but couldn't be autistic. Ironically then because he's not masked to the same extent he's never sought diagnosis, because of never having such an intense identity crisis. Do feel like I wanna say that although this Is an autism presentation much more prevalent in female autistics it does happen in males too - not to detract from this being an epidemic of undiagnosed high-masking female autistics, but just that as an amab autistic coming across stuff like this it can feel confusing & all over again bring up the 'is it just me' stuff for bits that can often seem like Prevalence more than like a distinct subtype present only in afabs. Autism in women videos often feel to me like general late-diagnosed-high-masking-highly-articulate autism stuff, but focussing on women because of the higher prevalence due to female socialisation. Really not meaning 'grr women bad', essentially I just feel overlooked at times because the majority of the videos I come across that cover my experience of such extreme masking & identity loss accurately say it's a female autism thing when it's a socialisation thing that's more likely in afabs. Idk
You're absolutely right. I think the main issue is that it's female/afab creators sharing their experiences of this, so they're seeing things from their perspective. But also keep in mind the fact that autism is still very much seen as something that occurs in boys and not girls, so it's natural that afab autistic people are more likely to push back against that once they get their diagnosis/self-diagnose. But your experience is valid too and I'm sorry you feel alienated by the choice of language. You're not alone.
@@JoULove You put into words why I feel no blame or upset towards any of these creators in a way that I hadn't put together quite so well, thanks. & this is really lovely, thank you for taking the time & your kind words. Feeling seen is such a gift, thank you :)
Same! I’m speculating around the idea of me mirroring my mom more than my dad. My dad was kind of absent in terms of practicing general ‘’life skills’’ to me, and I can remember that asked myself a lot when I was young, which one of them did I want to become more like.
@@aonain09 interesting! For me my mum was the absent one, with my dad the more 'motherly' & her the father with the negative emotions to avoid. For me I think mine may come from emotional neglect & trying to be to others what I needed, which was calm, quiet & accepting, gentle, not take up any space with my stuff etc. Always good to see how different roots can cause similar outcomes
@@c0niferal Trying to be to others what I needed myself resonates waaay to much bro, I wasn’t ready!! lol. Both of my parents were emotionally absent, very immature so to speak. I recall now that the dilemma of which one of them I wanted to become more like became clearer and clearer the older I got. I had to switch up my focus and mirror other adults which I looked up to. Approval seeking behavior has maybe taken the most toll on me. How do you deal with the emotional neglect? Have you come in contact with your feelings in a manageable way? I feel you, and I’m really sorry you had to go through that shit…
I lived my life undiagonised until i had my first daughter, who is in the process of being diagnosed. Our specilists told me that it could have been passed on through either me or her father, and the more I've learned about it, the MORE my 28 years of life has felt validated.
i love the way that you speak and explain things it feels like having an intellectual/deep convo with a friend and the way you dont skirt around "offensive words" and idk just the way you speak so plainly is so easy to understand. i love your content please keep it up
"Non augistic people dont go around wondering if they're autistic"
Im actually crying rn,help😭
same girl 😭
“Non autistic people don’t go around wondering if they’re autistic” YES 🙏🙏
Actually, no. My father is autistic. My parents are divorced. My mother likes to blame things my siblings and I do on autism. Although there is a chance some of us are autistic, every one of us has wondered if we are, no matter how unlikely.
The idea that if you wonder about something, you are that thing is quite damaging, especially to young girls who naturally want to fit in a group. I, personally, identified as trans for 2 years, mostly because I wanted my friends to keep being around me. Other kids will pretend to have interests in things they don't actually like. Some kids I know are going to become doctors even though they hate science. It's just socialisation at thus point, which is as good as masking
@@alexisericson241The fact that your father is autistic means there's a rather good chance that at least one of you are, there is no "no matter how unlikely". It's very strongly rooted in genetics.
This was my biggest problem for years. I just told myself there’s NO WAY I’m autistic. But I definitely am lol
I don't fully agree. Some people go around wondering if they're autistic, because they in fact are autistic, but others may wonder about autism because they have trauma, are very introverted or sensitive or both, or they may have social anxiety, or mental health issues in general. It's sometimes tricky to find out what is the cause for the issues that a person may experience.
@@NerielMi true, though a lot of those things can also be linked to neurodivergence. Such as HSP or highly sensitive person traits were based off of someone who was years later diagnosed with autism.
Mental disorders like social anxiety, OCD, GAD, eating disorders and depression are often given to undiagnosed AuDHDers. Many medical/mental health services now advise that girls or women admitted to hospital with eating disorders be screened for autism. More than ONE THIRD of girls with eating disorders meet the diagnostic criteria for ASD!
Social anxiety is often due to sensory overwhelm and executive dysfunction and a history of social exclusion, rejection and/or bullying for being different or not fitting in, all classic ND traits.
Trauma I agree can be an exception, as there are cases where NT people are traumatised and abused, though again ND people (especially afab ND’s) are MUCH more likely to end up in abusive relationships (and therefore suffer trauma) due to not being able to read the red flags and know/set healthy boundaries.
Not diagnosed yet but scored 154 on the RAADS-R test. I did the same thing you did growing up. Copying people to fit in. I never thought to think that I was on the spectrum.
I always thought autism was just full blown dependence on people for everyday life. Well until recently. Yours and a few other channels have been eye opening. Thank you for taking the time for making these videos.
Im not officially diagnosed but the more i learn about adhd and autism the more my life makes sense.
real
Same!
This!
I got diagnosed with adhd as a kid but now I’m considering it might be autism
Could be both! @@haikuhaikyuu8124
I'm still not diagnosed. I'll be 40 in May! My brother, and my middle son are both on the spectrum since they were young.
I never ever considered myself until a couple of years ago, but I hit most traits.
I think I went under the radar because of a traumatic childhood, and also being an attractive female.
My super power is plants, and random facts!
Yeah, "teen" doesn't sound like a late diagnosis to me. I'm 40 and in the process of getting a diagnosis.
@@heatnicoleheryeah I'm 51 and I don't know how to get diagnosed.
@katrinawoody6268 You could start by contacting your local mental health care center. I'm sure they could put you in touch with someone who does Adult Autism Evaluations. Good luck.
I was just diagnosed last year at 49, it’s never too late! ❤ Just talk to your doctor or you can find psychologists etc online who do adult autism assessments. The problem is HUGE waitlists and if you don’t want to wait you’ll prob have to pay out of pocket and it can be $800-5k depending who you see etc. For me it was worth it, I needed that validation because I was at a point where I didn’t trust my own judgment, even after a lot of research.
I’m 40 too and feel this
I was a late diagnosed autistic as well. I was 15 turning 16. I never got tested for autism growing up because i had no "motor or language impairment' issues and i did very well in school. But i would do things considered not socially appropriate or weird(e.g saying "who are you" to one of my grandmas friend or came up to us and not in a nice way), say my thoughts out loud, loved the feeling of silk tags, could not enter my garage because i hated the smell even though everyone else thought didn't smell) and i started acting out the second half of freshman year. I went to a licensed psychologist and did many different tests ranging from fine motor skills, academic achievement, ADOS (Autistic Diagnostic Observation Schedule), surveying parents and a teacher, etc. etc. I managed to get my Autistic diagnoses the first time i ever had to be tested for it. It has been a huge up and down battle trying to be more socially appropriate but also still be loving and accepting of myself. Your videos have help me so much with learning what are some of my other autistic traits i wasnt aware of.
Be grateful it didn't take until your 30's/40's.
@@heatnicoleher Indeed i am
@@heatnicoleher and even later! I'm 52, and was diagnosed at age 50. It's been very liberating yet depressing. I'm finally to a point where I can be my true self. But this knowledge would have been very helpful in my younger years.
hey, thank you for sharing! i recently found out i could be autistic when i was 15 turning 16, and for the exact same reasons you did 😂 it’s helped confirm my suspicions the more i read people’s experiences as late diagnosed or undiagnosed autistics 😊
I got diagnosed at the same age very recently!
i got yelled at by a girl for “trying to steal her boyfriend” WE HAD A CASUAL CONVERSATION ABOUT DOGS- i was like oh i’m sorry maybe i have a flirtatious personality? and she told me “oh i didnt know you apparently had that” and i was like ME EITHER? i’m just grasping for straws i promise i didnt want a relationship with him like that! and then i find out i have autism..
"Shes just shy" Was my ENTIRE CHILDHOOD - I was NOT a traditional little girl, very tomboy and played only independently, did not get along well with other kids, my energy always seemed different than everyone around me. I have heard a lot of people say they copied other people (valid), but I feel like I did the exact opposite because I had no option of fitting in. I was already perceived as weird and shy VERY early on so any social interaction was met with hostility. Instead, I vented all my energy into being hyperlexic, I was at a college reading level by 4th grade and never had any friends because I would spend hours avoiding everyone reading constantly. And I was never diagnosed because I was just the smart, shy girl... but all the other kids DEFINITELY knew I was weird, like crazy, not normal weird, and did not hesistate to let me know how they felt about me.
I read a quote somewhere that one of the straightest thru lines for people with undiagnosed autism (maybe less so for kids who copied and masked) is having experienced bullying/ostracization in school because kids naturally group together and learn behaviors and the kids that dont... are weird in some inexplicable way that the other kids can sense and usually dont like
Me, undiagnosed: I don't have special interests
My 3k+ hour save file in Skyrim: EXCUSE ME!?!
These videos are making me cry. Sometimes I think my brain is trying to hide from me that I’m aware of some of the points in Morgan’s videos. These videos sum up most of my childhood and teenage years. Thank you for reminding me that I am not crazy, delusional, or dumb. Just, tired of always practicing poise and never truly being myself even around my closest friends.
Undiagnosed 43yo…First 20 seconds of this… I was like YES 🙌…YES…🎉. Most of the time I just look at people and go WTF…. Morgan you’re amazing, this video is amazing! Spot on and truly relatable 🫶👌 thank you 🙏 keep them coming ❤ 😊
Fellow late dx'd chameleon here. 🦎 Howdy! 👋🏼 Female nb in my 30s. I really appreciate and learn so much from videos like these. Thank you, Morgan! 🫶🏻
Few years back I was terrified by the realization that I wasnt confident I'd ever had an opinion or tone of voice or personality that was "me." It's been life saving to learn that I'm autistic and ADHD. Glad (among many other rmotions, of course) to have found the folks who speak my language and are processing the dx as well. 🎉
I’m so used to mimicking people… I don’t know what my original baseline personality would be if I consciously stopped masking.
Thankfully, my husband sees many of my autistic traits as adorable and he’s super supportive, but I’m sure I would be criticized by my parents if I ever let my guard down.
Oddly enough, my girls were diagnosed at 9 and 4. My son, at 16! I think the awareness about girls presentation of ASD is better these days.
I’ve been considering adhd for a while but I’ve really been looking at autism as well recently. The problem I’m struggling with is trying to remembering my early childhood years as I’m a teen rn. Been obsessively going through old videos and pictures and looking for and autistic traits 😭😭
I’ve always known I stole characteristics I liked in people who were very well liked by others bc I just liked those quirky traits. It was never planned, I just seemed to pick it up and it became a part of me and I always phrased it “adopting personality traits” lol but I had no idea it was a trait of autism. I didn’t know anything at all about autism until I heard people discussing it and I became obsessed with the subject
I’m a male but I resonate a lot with the copying behaviors subconsciously. Finding out I was autistic would’ve been worse I think if I didn’t have a friend call me out on my tendencies in highschool. I think I was a freshman he was a junior. And he simply asked “are you cool?” And I’m like, “I don’t know I guess it depends on if someone thinks I’m cool or not” and he said “no, don’t wait for someone else to decide if you’re cool. You don’t have to act differently to try to fit in. If you’re cool, that’s up to you” or something to that effect. But it caused me to think and reflect and realize that I’ve been mimicking people my whole life to try to “be cool” and so I decided I needed to figure out who I myself was. Otherwise I probably would’ve had an identity crisis when I found out 15 years later. I still did it through highschool and college subconsciously but it probably would’ve been worse if it wasn’t for that guy.
I didn't know you studied sociology, I love sociology, I could listen to you talk about sociology all day
Hiya - here after what looks JUST like I had autistic burnout.
Thanks for being on here and giving us info!
Is autism also the reason that I feel numb and want to cry everytime someone yells at me that I'm female
Maybe gender dysphoria?
@@Catlily5 yep.. Got that
I also relate on not really knowing who I was or what I even liked. After getting out of a toxic marriage I've started to really try to get to know the real me so I can be me.
Its actually funny, as an autistic person I never had these difficulties. I never developed masking at a young age simply because I wasn't pushed or taught to be "Feminine" "poised" or "perfect". I wasn't taught that at all, and if people thought I wasn't super feminine then they didn't say it. Of course as a kid, as a little girl, I loved girly things. I really liked to wear dresses, to do my makeup, paint my nails. I also really loved to wear dresses or skirts. But it was always perceived as girly or just me being a girl. For the makeup and painting my nails part, I just genuinely liked it. But for the dresses and skirts part, I didn't really wear dresses or skirts because I was girly or because I just liked to. For me it was a comfort reason. I had a lot of difficulties with pants, socks, and even underwear. So it was just easier to wear a T-shirt and a skirt or shorts or just a simple dress. But being an only child I did express weird and even abnormal traits. For example, since I was an only from since I was born I was used to my own bubble and having silence. But imagine an only child, who's autistic, transitioning into a public school with other kids who don't understand volume and are super loud. Yeah, that wasn't great. I don't remember this at all, but apparently I often went into panic mode because of it(told from my mom). And whenever we would have firedrills and I wasn't aware of it I would apparently scream bloody murder because of the noise cause I wasn't used to these things or loud noises. I might not have developed masking or been told to be perfect and to look a certain way, but I was bullied a lot verbally as a little kid. At school I was often called a "crybaby" because I would cry over small things that happened(but for me weren't small things) but I think I reacted in a form of crying because I didn't know how to react or to regulate my emotions. Even though I didn't develop masking how I present myself, I did start to feel a need to isolate myself from people by the 4th-5th grade. I also felt a need to hide my emotions when I felt sad, overwhelmed, or angry(which obviously isn't a good thing, since what I was doing was bottling up emotions that I had). And what's funny is that I never got along with other girls my age(now its not so bad since Im older, but I still don't get along with as many girls who don't know me) and I have always got along with boys my age. Idk why, maybe its because they are more straightforward and chill than girls? But a lot of girls just never liked me either for some reason.
But another reason I think I never masked was because I was always raised to be myself and to only care about my opinion and no one else's.
I'm seeing my psychiatrist at the end of the month. I want to get evaluated because I exhibit so many of these traits. Thank you
My doctor literally said to me "you're not autistic. My SON is autistic."
The more I learn the more I am convinced that I am autistic. I’ve identified as an HSP since 2007. ADHD-I diagnosis at 46, but it wasn’t a full on neurocognitive evaluation. At this point I’ll never get an official diagnosis. 48, multiple sclerosis which has caused disability. My lifetime of masking has literally made me ill. Even my early stimming behaviors were taken away. My nervous system never stood a chance. But the damage is done. I don’t have the energy to figure it all out, and especially with my epically shitty HMO insurance, but just knowing has allowed healing that wouldn’t be possible otherwise. Thank you!
Just got diagnosed almost a year ago as a teen! It answered so many questions about myself
As a level 2 autistic person, I can honestly say that if you ever meet me you will never have to mask your symptoms in front of me, I don’t think that it’s a big deal to mess up in social situations to me because you’re not hurting anyone by making mistakes in your social life
To all autistic people watching this, I love you for your special interests and how unique you truly are.
I love you guys!! ❤😊😊😊
#autisticlove #autisticpeopleareawesome
Wow 80%?! OMG! I am SO GLAD that my parents saw the signs when they did and got the diagonasis when i was still a toddler .
Girl, thank you! Your channel is so wonderful and really has helped me a lot! ❤
Im learning about autism and developing kinda like an special interest of mine now with all these new informations that im gathering. Im not diagnosed officially by a psychiatrist (although my psychologist does think i fit the boxes), but the more I read and ask about, the more everything clicks. Im from Brazil and here is a mess, everything is a joke and there is a lack of programs on the subject. But honestly, its bein a journey. Thanks for the content and yes, you were absolutelly cohesive thought the entire video (and others ones too!) and i could understand you completely.
Thank you for your channel and content 💞
I have to wonder for myself, looking back on my life, if I was developing masking mechanisms at different phases- when I was in kindergarten and first grade, I nearly had to repeat because of my lack of participation. I remember being practically mute, especially around my teacher (who was honestly very kind), when I was in kindergarten. By first grade, I already knew how to read, but was still in the process of "figuring out school." Once I got to second grade, I understood what my role was and everything was fine, until I got to student teaching in college, which I almost failed. Being in front of the classroom was a completely new experience for me, and it felt almost as if I had blinders on in class- just get through the lesson plan. For a brief stint, I was in a religious community in my 20s, which was really unhealthy for me, mentally. Not only did I constantly feel misunderstood, but I had issues most notably with hyperfocus, not coping with things when they were out of routine, and rejection sensitivity.
I think I might be autistic but I'm really worried that I'm just being dramatic and I'm not currently able to get an autism assessment. But I've started compiling a list of autistic traits in teenage girls and taking different online autism tests which helps with the imposter syndrome :]
I felt that way before I was diagnosed. Still do after. I definitely encourage you to become self-diagnosed so you can be able to have a piece of mind 💕
@@jazmineabelard3397 thank you this genuinely made my day :)
fr 🧍🏼♀️
@@jazmineabelard3397doing that would make me feel weird, like i’m lying idk 😭
@@xfreja it’s the self gaslighting. I caught myself thinking that “i am totally lying, there is no way” but then every action reminded me that it is accurate. I didn’t self-diagnose though because I didn’t feel comfortable about putting a label on myself until I was sure but I learned that it is actually common in the neurodivergent community after being formally diagnosed. I self assessed myself and it was the same results as my actual results but I decided to not take it too seriously until it was actually true. If you happen to self assess on the internet (there is actually an accurate site that does), take it with a grain of salt so you won’t be weirded out until the actual results
I watched this 9 signs you're not autistic video by other autistic creator, and I understood I might be autistic as well. I don't think I mask though (other creator talks about masking in girls too) - I kinda don't care that I behave "unusual". Well maybe I mostly mask my interests, because of that socializing thing, fine example are video games, I've been told by my granny that video games are only for kids (although there's a lot of them for ages 16/18 and above) and I'm 35, other things I don't like talk to people about is liking rock and metal music, anime, comics, collecting stuff about my favorite games and comic series, because of the fact they won't understand and/or won't share the interests and might find them childish or inappropriate for woman in hers mid 30ies.
You mention a video about autism and pretty privilege, but it doesn't seem to be on your channel. Was it removed or have you just not uploaded it yet?
I already had a identity crysis before diagnosis. So it was more of a relief for me. Until then I was diagnosed ocd and bipolar. But I was autistic
Fun fact, I have yet to come across a single person with diagnosed social anxiety disorder who does not have noticeable AuDHD traits.
It makes sense because pretty much ALL the things that drive social anxiety are symptoms of ND/ASD/ADHD:
feeling different from others, misunderstood, communication differences, unpredictability, lack of control, sensory overwhelm, processing disorders, executive dysfunction, alexithymia, social trauma due to past bullying and rejection sensitivity dysphoria
Like I have intense interest in video games and I've always been highly interested in gender since I was in kindergarten and started learning about gender differences. My favorite show ever was community and still is lol
Omg coffee makes me talk too lol 😂
I never knew I was doing it as a kid but looking back, I def masked. I think I used TV for references on how to talk/act with my peers. I would come home from school exhausted from masking all day. My son it was trains, cars, etc... He was diagnosed at 9, I'm 40 and undiagnosed but I'm pretty sure I'm autistic too.
i think my special interest is like- animals. mainly dogs. i know so much about dogs and when people ask me about them i will fully dump on them (probably make them feel weird afterwards). or gilmore girls. i know so much about that show😭 (i don’t have diagnosed autism)
The "perceived as flirty" thing, I think I've got the reversed going on. I'm often told "you're pretty and elegant, but you look scary, moody and unapproachable". I don't want to scare people away, I don't know what I'm doing that makes people think that... Watching your videos, I'm starting to understand things about myself and the way others see me.
Hi I am a teen girl with autism, and I am so used to masking. But I don’t often script phrases that I want to say before saying it. I only script when I have so much to say. So I often speak in a blunt and truthful way, I lost some of my friends due to this reason. My autism is mild and also I mask like pretty much all the time so people don’t know I have autism and they think I am being mean / rude. There’re also times that I cannot mask cuz of too much pressure. Last year, after finishing my exam, I am so worried about my grades that I just can’t mask. I started stimming all day, vocal stimming, twirling…. My parents were worried. 😢
I didn't realize or even consider i was autistic until i had gotten into recovery after spending most my 20s masking and self medicating 😅
My 16 year old said the other day, "We should go get diagnosed together!" Come on executive functioning, dont fail me now! But seriously, it is daunting to think about choosing a doctor and going there to potentially be Austism doubted and splained... Sigh.
i have learned to mask so much that professionals wont believe me but not enough to avoid getting bullied during my formative years 🥲 i have given up trying to have anyone believe me so i can get targeted help for my issues. i have been told things like "you make eye contact, thats already a big sign you arent autistic" (i constantly force myself to look people in the eye since i was told its rude even though its massively anxiety inducing for me), "autistic people arent shy, they are very extroverted and you arent" (after i told this doctor i have been consistently bullied in my child and teen years because i was a little off compared to other kids), "i have a masters degree in autism and you dont have it" (mind you this person had only seen me twice for less than an hour).
every time its just pain and fear of rejection so much that i am scared to ask anything anymore. i have even told them about my intense, constant burnouts throughout the years and the way i used to mimic and pretend to be socially "acceptable". oh and they compliment me so much on how articulate i am about my traumas and what not. i dont know how else to tell them that i want to throw up and cry the moment i touch a specific book cover plastic or try to wear nylon clothes. jessica it aint normal. what else do you need me to do to classify as "autistic enough" to even be remotely considered for a screening?
❤ "Cosplaying as a neurotypical person"❤ Omg, Yes! Perfect! Thank You!! ✨
Unfortunately, this is all too accurate. I got a lot of the “marching to the beat of her own drum” as a kid, as well as lining up ALL of my toys in order, and not speaking until 3. To make it worse, I have an autistic parent and an autistic grandparent (both diagnosed in the 60’s), but somehow all the signs were missed until a teacher basically bullied my parents into getting me evaluated at 16. I kinda just brushed it off because that was the “don’t label me!!” rebellious phase. Later my son began showing signs, so I started taking things more seriously. He was evaluated at 2, diagnosed (lvl3), through therapies has made it to level 1. Now I tend to advocate for the kids and help bridge the understanding of the parents when it’s things their kids can’t articulate, help talk them through fears, and generally be a sounding board, since I understand the relationship dynamics from both sides. For several parents, I point out to them when I see it, that a lot of them have their own variety of neuro spicy and recommend they talk to someone about it (haven’t been wrong yet!). Keep spreading awareness and doing you!
Hey thank you for this video. I've been wondering if i might be autistic for a few years now.
I recognize myself so much in many autistic traits, but not really on others, because i became so good at small talk and putting myself "out there", i make so much efforts to make people comfortable around be to the point it becomes exhausting for me (my boyfriend always tells me, why do you care so much if they're comfortable ?! He doesn't care at all lol)
I confessed my thoughts to a psychiatrist that had a phone interview with my mom to talk about early signs of autism but my mom told us i didn't have trouble communicating, pointing or looking as a toddler, so my psychiatrist told me it would be very unlikely that i'd have autism, he thinks i might have ADHD. Thing is, i think my mom and dad are on the spectrum too (psychiatrist didn't flinch when my mom told him she never got out of the house when we were kids, and that she didn't know how i behaved with kids other than my siblings because we never went to the park or social events).
I don't know what to think about all this, i'm 30 and have been struggling with relationships and executive dysfunction my whole life, i had a major depression at 15 that made me almost lose interest in my lifelong obsession with horses (i still have 5 horses to take care of but i kinda lost the spark...)
I thought i finally explained my failures and that i would finally give myself a break but this interview made me think maybe i'm heading in the wrong direction... What do you guys think ?
MY SISTER IS AUTISTISK AND I FINALLY UNDERSTAND HER BETTER TYSM IM LITRALLY CRYING RN
I a 'woman' found out that I was autistic at 42. I can't tell you upset and relieved I was to find out.
I have a son who is non verbal autistic him and I have a lot of the same quirks. I've always tried my best to hide my stims and quirks because I learned at a young age that it wasn't 'normal'. I was made fun of my family and friends.
I got diagnosed 3 TIMES!! and I still doubt sometimes when I masking because of bad representation on media...
9:45... I got really good at masking for an entirely different reason, while just recently over 30s years later I found out I was diagnosed as a kid but my parents never told me because they chose to not believe it, but anyways I was not just autistic but also trans at the same time even though I wouldn't learn what trans was and be able to be my true self till much more recently, so not only did I have to mask autism but I also had to put on a persona to mask the fact I am trans, so not only did I have to act neurotypical but I also had to act like a boy/man when I am a trans woman, so I had to combine and wear two separate masks for the better part of 3 decades.
I was told the squeaky wheel gets the grease, so I tried to never mask in hopes I would finally understand myself. I still didn't get diagnosed till I was in my mid 30's. 🤬
I don't think people automatically assume that autistic women must be ugly - it's just that there are a lot of them that don't give a sh** about fashion! All the autistic girls I know have very short hair and wear pretty crappy clothes. Actually I've never met one that looked feminine at all. Okay it's not like I know too many, but I myself never cared about fashion or makeup either and my hair is long only because I don't like people touching me, or change in general.
❤Youre awesome. Thank God your channel exists! God bless! Lmfao at Cos playing as a neurotypical. Yep.😂
Couple of interesting things here. I am not officially diagnosed and am not paying for an assessment for myself (yet), but do have ADHD and a psychiatrist who thinks there's a strong chance I'm autistic. I notice signs of ADHD and/or autism in both my son and daughter, but they're super young, waiting for assessment. My son is very external, my daughter is very much the quiet "away with the fairies" type. She tends to have sensory issues but is much better at looking at people and socialising. But she's been that way since she was like 1, and she's only 3 now, so she didn't have time to be socialised in a particular way (and for what it's worth, I don't believe in that crap anyway). I understand that the socialisation aspect compounds the issue, but I think they can present differently from the outset, based on my admittedly anecdotal experience.
The flirting bit was funny to me, both my mother and I have had that issue, and I'm in my early 30s now. It's an inherently misogynistic view as well, because honestly sometimes it feels like no matter what you do you're accused of flirting. Whether you're avoiding eye contact or talking animatedly. Imagine having that kind of arrogance, that you think women are almost always flirting with you.
I'm laughing at myself now. I was thinking about my adaptation to social standards as I changed schools. I even told a teacher, "I could fit in if I wanted, but too many people recognize me here." "I just need 1 more school change, and I've got all the information needed to fully blend in." We were conversing about my ostracization at school, and difficulty socializing. She thought I was being weird on purpose. I had said how I disagree with social standards, as they are arbitrary, constraining and boring, but I was born weird, and I could fit social standards if I moved to a place people didn't know I was weird in the first place. FML I was building the masks in my mind, and when I moved schools, I wore the masks lmao.
I got diagnosed as not having Autism so many times. "has good Eye contact, articulate, intelligent, understands metaphors. Can't be autism." Even when I finally got diagnosed at age 16, no one treated it, or told me what it was. They just kept calling it "high functioning autism" over and over. They described it poorly, and had bad conclusions for how it worked. They blamed me for being socially inept. Reinforced the idea that I had to mask. They never even described masking to me. I only started learning about it a few years ago.
The more I learn about Autism, the more I see its traits permeate my childhood. My kid has ASD as well, and even that looks different enough from what I experienced, I wasn't connecting the dots until these last 2 years. I was in a class, and my kid was playing outside with another group of kids. My kid just left the rest of them, and we had to go find my lost child. Didn't take long, they were fine. Just doing ASD things. But in my head, I wanted to keep an eye on the kids anyway. I thought it was odd the rest of them were fine with themselves. Like the other parents were telling me, "come inside the kids are fine without adult supervision for a little bit." I was the ASD parent of an ASD child and didn't connect the dots that doing something off by yourself was a total ASD thing, to be able to warn them "nah, I need to keep an eye on my kid." Life is so weird
Love this video, makes soo much sense for my young daughter.
Hold up a flashlight to your eyes for like 10 min every day I promise 🖤 you need your pupils to be small sometimes
My friend whose been masking her whole life thinks im autistic and we joke that it makes sense in a lot of ways but i also dont have stims. And i dont have any problems making friends. I did get bullied as a kid cuz i always felt like i acted like spongebob lol: annoyingly goofy and excited by things. I do have a weird affectation that i still dont understand if its an autistic thing or what. I used to have the compulsion to copy everything said on Tv. I had to repeat it after they said it. It annoyed everyone in my house. Now as an adult i only have the strong compulsion to copy accents or if people say things in a funny way. And thats irl too, not just in tv. But the need is stronger if its on tv.. maybe cuz i know it wont make someone thing im mocking them.. idk
"By that point, you're basically just made of pieces of other people that you've stolen and mix-matched into a person."
I'm just sitting here like, ...is that not how people create themselves? Lol good to know!
Yes.
No need to add something.
Thanks for sharyng❤
I also really like Friends if I have nothing to watch I will just rewatch friends [btw I really like your channel]
i literally have watched friends (all seasons) 9 times!! in 1 year…
I'm a girl and I'm getting tested for autism, but I don't think I've ever masked like how the video described. Does that mean I'm probably not autistic?
I think it best not to lean in so much on the ‘socialisation’ explanation. All we know is that boys and girls are different. To say that the presentation of autism depends solely on socialisation is to state that boys and girls are identical at birth and only society makes us differ in the slightest. This isn’t very plausible, and shouldn’t be prejudged.
It also means that to make autistics exhibit autistic traits at the low rate that women do, all we need do is put pressure on everyone to be polite and sociable.
now i think: is this my mask? what am i truly feeling?
edit: nah, i am okay. i checked through the test.
Can you put reference to that stats you mentioned in the description?
Wow I’m learning so much thanks for sharing
One correction as a fellow social science person: children are socialized based on perceived gender/prescribed gender, not their actual gender. A seemingly small, but actually big, difference. I'm agender myself, but was perceived as a girl and socialized as one which is why I understand the "girl/woman experience" though I'm not one. This of course includes not being diagnosed with autism until I was 36. So, under diagnosis isn't just in girls, but in pretty much everyone that isn't a boy, especially a white boy.
This is so real. ❤ I feel so seen.
i am undiagnosed with ASD but years of my own research & going back into past memories and trauma i KNOW i am autistic, my mother tells me that she was just like me at my age & im not like my brother, who IS DEFINITELY on the autism spectrum, for years as a small child i masked & became somebody i am not & nobody seems to understand that when i explain, when i tell people they go “oh, you don’t look autistic!” or “no, you’re not autistic.” Autism being overlooked in the female gender is horrible, we aren’t treated &/or helped as much with our symptoms like a man would be. A boy could be on the floor screaming & people would be like “oh, autism!” but if a girl does it they are perceived as “dramatic” or “having ‘girl’ emotions.”
Did you know that the way Autism typically presents in girls, that was only recently discovered to be autism, also presents the same way in many overlooked boys?
I was one of the boys (now 46) who was always overlooked as autistic because my autism looked much more like the overlooked girls and not like the stereotypical autistic guys. 🤷♂️
I feel like i am autistic but i am scared of telling my parents about it(i am still relatively young) and i have no clue what to do about it. I wanna get diagnosed so i can do better in school but i just can't build up the courage to tell anyone
Edit: If anyone sees this and you have advice pls tell me
My special interest was whales from ages 3-10, and even though it wasn’t something generally considered normal for girls, it got overlooked because I was just “smart”.
I copied people to try to fit in, but everyone I wanted to be like was neurodivergent, so now my “neurotypical” traits are finger guns and sound effects, so I still don’t “fit in”.
And yes, i was labeled as flirty from about the age of... 5 years old and onward? Over the past few days, im realizing how wild it is that i was sexualized from that young age. I have pretty privilege, i think. And there's definitely racial privilege in my story. Im pasty white. And this treatment - sexualizing my hair twirling stims, etc. - has had impacts that will take me a while to process, for sure. 🙃
Hey, I was wondering if anyone on here could help me. I'm a fourteen year old girl and I suspect I'm autistic, however, I am confident around people and because of this I think my parents would not look at the other traits I display. I think they'll just say I can't be autistic because I don't get scared around strangers but I really want an assessment. How can I tell them that I think I'm autistic and want an autism assessment?
I was diagnosed wen i was 7
Wait so "you don't look autistic" is supposed to be a compliment? I guess I see it too literally and I thought they tell me I'm making it up and they don't believe me.
How do I send this to my mum before getting diagnosed 👍
8:53 OMG YOU JUST EXPOSED ME
You mentioned a video on pretty privilege but I don't see it on your page?
Do you mask when you do these videos ?
I am going to tell my mom I think I'm autistic but she will not believe me unless I have a very detailed presentation please give me some tips
Idk if you're asking the woman in the video specifically or just asking people in general, but I'll assume it's the latter. Maybe make a point of how varied autism is. A lot of allistic people have a very rigid idea of autism and you most likely don't fit into that narrow idea. What might help with that and dissuade immediate denial (i.e. _No, you're not autistic_ ) is having some examples of autistic people who aren't specifically men with high support needs who either excel in some field or are a walking encyclopedia on some topic. Even - and this is gonna sound weird - showing the profile pictures of autistic creators on youtube or elsewhere whose stuff you like and saying "all these people are autistic" might be a good idea, just showing that you don't need to look some certain way since we all look like, well, people.
Is there any correlation between being someone like me, who is transgender (mtf), and being on the autism spectrum? Looking back on my life, I often wonder how my parents didn't suspect at all that I was autistic. I had very huge special interests as a kid, like Lego, Star Wars, Transformers, Sonic the Hedgehog, music, history, etc. I was very shy, and didn't quite know how to communicate well, or socialize with other people. Sooooo, I guess I'm confused. What do you think?
There is a correlation, yes! Autistic people are _statistically_ more likely to be trans or otherwise gender-diverse than allistic people. I personally don't think that it's something directly in the brain, but more the way we interact with the world that makes it more likely to embrace a gender identity that's not cis or gender non-conforming. I don't understand what part exactly is confusing to you so I don't know what else to say on the topic. You can elaborate if you'd like.
Oo yes…
I subscribe to the “Elle Woods” theory of autism.
I went to elementary school in the 90s and there’s no way I could get diagnosed then. I showed clear signs on into now and it’s tough. I tried to get my son diagnosed with autism despite me struggling so much with obvi signs
I 100% for the differences in autism presentations.
you look like my youngest sister.
Lot of your traits are present in boys as well.
My dear mother tells me (an undiagnosed AFAB person who shows signs of autism) that i just act dieffernt because i am "smart".
0:20
IS IT GREEN, IS IT RED, IS IT ALIVE OR IS IT DEAD?!?! 😫
(🫸🏽🫷to whoever gets this reference)
I was raised by very strict parents who didn't "believe" in autism, and I accepted all the issues I faced when I was younger were just due to my personality, and I've been very depressed and full of self-hatred thinking I was just a bad person, going through high school struggling to cope, but this channel and others like this have shown me the challenges I face are probably actually autistic traits, and it's amazing to know I'm not alone, thank you so much for making the content you do and sharing your journey, and helping me recognise some of my own behaviours I didn't even realise were "abnormal"
God bless you ❤
i really relate to this, it was so difficult. i saw professionals growing up and they never bought up any neurodiversity exept dyspraxia which i'm pretty sure my parents kept from me. it's really sad that people hate autism so much unconciously that they'll label autistic traits as bad / what bad people are. really manipulating the image of self. i do not miss being a child holding a burden thinking it's my fault
Im so sorry that you had to go through that, I'm autistic as well, Im now 14 yrs old
OMG, it is so true. I was a child with diagnosed ADHD and undiagnosed ASD in Texas. Corporal Punishment in school and at home because of my ADHD. They'd beat me for things caused by my ADHD, like getting distracted, or disrupting class, answering questions without raising my hand, or talking to someone during the lesson. They'd beat me for problems caused by my ASD too, but they didn't know I had ASD. They knew I had ADHD! That's why it was so messed up! I had the diagnosis, and they would tell me it's not an excuse, then beat me with whatever object they had around. Because spankings would hurt their hands.
When they finally decided to stop beating me a couple years later, they'd make me go run outside to "cure" my ADHD. "You're being too expressive and hyper, go run around to tire yourself out." Great, now I'm tired and embarrassed but still have ADHD. Like trying to cure drunkenness with coffee and a cold shower. Just a cold, wet, wide-awake drunk.
When I changed homes, my mom video taped me doing tics and stims, to try and point out how weird I was, to try and make me stop having them. They even mislabeled every tic to embarrass me about it even more. "You're sniffing your armpits." No, I was just doing a mouth stim while I had a head twist tic.
So, I have this love of science. My special interest is all things science. I thought I could treat away all my trauma. But I've come to realize, I can only cope with trauma in healthy ways. That doesn't get rid of it. I'm doing everything right, but it's still there. I was wrong to think I didn't have trauma because I addressed it in healthy ways. It's just automatic bodily processes. Every trauma test I take, I score very low on, and it suggests I don't have trauma, because the understanding of trauma is poor.
I’m 27 and undiagnosed. Recently been accused of being fake when I finally tried to stop masking. Now I’m in this horrible cycle of playing someone else cause no one knows the real me
Do you also stim more? I feel like I supressed my stims a lot in my life
I dont know about you, but I have found family to be the hardest people to be myself around. When ever I have tried to be myself in the past one of them, God forbid more than 1 at a time, will ask "are you okay" me=😐 (with a mass accumulation of emotions going on inside) I will go to a different part of the house and cry.
Since it's so difficult for me to explore being myself to the people who know me, I will go out to the store (any store) and explore being myself. I find it less harsh to be myself around people I don't know because (and this is always what I tell/remind myself). "They don't know you, therefor their judgement of you doesn't matter." Like it doesn't even make the list of things to worry/ruminate about. You should give this a try.
@@buntekarotteI'm living exactly the same as her and yes I do stim more
That's why masking is bad, it makes it impossible to be yourself around others, because they'll assume something is wrong or you're faking it.
Living a lie is the worst thing you can possibly do in life and the fastest route to depression..
Can I just say that I have recently found your channel because Google has suddenly reminded me that I have autism and I really love your channel because you’re so open and honest and fun and easy to listen to because I don’t know if you’re about you but I have misophonia, and you have an easy voice to listen to, and I just thought I’d let you know that. Keep up the good work.
There needs to be more studies done on ANYONE vs only boys/males. Not only for autism but for ADHD or a combination of both. Seriously, why hasn't this been done in the let's just say last 20+ years?!
Because studying women in a medical sense is e.g. unfortunately often more expensive than studying men, and because studies are supposed to come with very clear results. Studying women often gives not as clear results so these studies are dismissed or, more often, never done, because they are in more danger to be dismissed in publishings, which can highly endanger the career of a researcher as a whole who needs to do a certain number of publishings. That is at least what I've learned from a medical book I've read recently which for example talked about how men can always be tested medically, while for women their periodic cycle often needs to be taken into concern, although I dont know if that is the case with psychological topics as well. The doctor in that book furthermore said that being a researcher comes with a lot of pressure and you're often dependend on getting your researches published to have a career ar all/ to get further financing, so you're trying to do studies that are fast, likely to get published and cheap. I've also heard stories from researchers standing up for finding out more about medical differences between men and women and being shamed for it because they're perpetuating the idea that men and women are biologically different. I'm not an expert so I'm sure there's more and different reasons to it, but to me the fact that women have mostly been medically ignored in the last centuries is a deeply rooted issue that needs a lot of work in different fields to finally get better.
And in case that isnt clear, I totally agree with you that it is outrageous that in 2024 so much in super common medical things isnt known about how it presents in women at all and that it isnt way more of a talked about issue that women need to be studied more medically because most knowledge we have as a society is knowledge about men. Which is kind of insane.
And in case your question was meant sarcastically, sorry for getting that wrong.
@@suzanimhoff2345 we can agree on that! My comment was slightly tinged with sarcasm but mostly frustration, learning about how ADHD affects daily life is something I've been trying to do. Thank you for taking the time to reply!
@@veronicarogers2483 me too! It's very frustrating tapping into something so very common, finding out theres so little research
I 100% agree with you!! Luckily I was diagnosed with autism at the age of 6. But there’s a couple things I don’t like about having autism. 1 of them being that some people have stereotypes about it, like in my school the teachers used to act like we’re dumb or once I was at the bus stop with my mum because I was going to an appointment and a lady asked if I was autistic. When my mum said I was she said she thought I was because I seemed smart. Which, thank you for the compliment but autism is a spectrum and is different for everyone. Not every autistic person is smart. Another thing I don’t like is, basically in year 7 and 8 I had to get the taxi to school because I couldn’t get the bus to school properly. People used to say to me that I’m so lucky that I get a taxi, and I know they probably meant it as a compliment but it didn’t feel like it because to me it’s just another reminder that I’m different
What you said about mimicking RUclipsrs who you watch is exactly what I have done many times. I start watching somebody and after a while, I’m suddenly talking just like them and using their mannerisms and even laughing like them.
Late diagnosed male, & in my family have both stereotypical experiences of this but both in males. I very much relate to this video; the intense masking & politeness & need to be very articulate to try have my needs met, & then getting to my 20s & hitting the inevitable crisis of not having a clue who I actually am & getting diagnosed. My brother always had a 'more typical' male presentation with lower masking & social skills, & partly hid me growing up because He was what autism looked like, & by comparison I was just a bit 'quirky' but couldn't be autistic. Ironically then because he's not masked to the same extent he's never sought diagnosis, because of never having such an intense identity crisis.
Do feel like I wanna say that although this Is an autism presentation much more prevalent in female autistics it does happen in males too - not to detract from this being an epidemic of undiagnosed high-masking female autistics, but just that as an amab autistic coming across stuff like this it can feel confusing & all over again bring up the 'is it just me' stuff for bits that can often seem like Prevalence more than like a distinct subtype present only in afabs. Autism in women videos often feel to me like general late-diagnosed-high-masking-highly-articulate autism stuff, but focussing on women because of the higher prevalence due to female socialisation.
Really not meaning 'grr women bad', essentially I just feel overlooked at times because the majority of the videos I come across that cover my experience of such extreme masking & identity loss accurately say it's a female autism thing when it's a socialisation thing that's more likely in afabs.
Idk
You're absolutely right. I think the main issue is that it's female/afab creators sharing their experiences of this, so they're seeing things from their perspective. But also keep in mind the fact that autism is still very much seen as something that occurs in boys and not girls, so it's natural that afab autistic people are more likely to push back against that once they get their diagnosis/self-diagnose.
But your experience is valid too and I'm sorry you feel alienated by the choice of language. You're not alone.
@@JoULove You put into words why I feel no blame or upset towards any of these creators in a way that I hadn't put together quite so well, thanks.
& this is really lovely, thank you for taking the time & your kind words. Feeling seen is such a gift, thank you :)
Same! I’m speculating around the idea of me mirroring my mom more than my dad. My dad was kind of absent in terms of practicing general ‘’life skills’’ to me, and I can remember that asked myself a lot when I was young, which one of them did I want to become more like.
@@aonain09 interesting! For me my mum was the absent one, with my dad the more 'motherly' & her the father with the negative emotions to avoid. For me I think mine may come from emotional neglect & trying to be to others what I needed, which was calm, quiet & accepting, gentle, not take up any space with my stuff etc. Always good to see how different roots can cause similar outcomes
@@c0niferal Trying to be to others what I needed myself resonates waaay to much bro, I wasn’t ready!! lol. Both of my parents were emotionally absent, very immature so to speak. I recall now that the dilemma of which one of them I wanted to become more like became clearer and clearer the older I got. I had to switch up my focus and mirror other adults which I looked up to. Approval seeking behavior has maybe taken the most toll on me. How do you deal with the emotional neglect? Have you come in contact with your feelings in a manageable way? I feel you, and I’m really sorry you had to go through that shit…
I lived my life undiagonised until i had my first daughter, who is in the process of being diagnosed. Our specilists told me that it could have been passed on through either me or her father, and the more I've learned about it, the MORE my 28 years of life has felt validated.
I don't care if I am autistic or not, as long as there is content out there that helps to understand and deal with specific issues.
i love the way that you speak and explain things it feels like having an intellectual/deep convo with a friend and the way you dont skirt around "offensive words" and idk just the way you speak so plainly is so easy to understand. i love your content please keep it up