I have with a few crew members that I interacted with regularly during the cruise. But only when the crew member asked for a follow on the socials. I never ask them and have never stayed in touch on a personal level.
Can't say I have. I have made some friends but they were passengers. We still talk online and meet up when we are near one another's hometown. Never a crew member, though.
Just because a service worker is friendly, it doesn't mean that they want to be your FRIEND. I think the "my boss said no" thing is probably just a cover to protect the worker from having to decline the invitation and possibly offend the customer.
Exactly! How about handing an extra tip to the wonderful worker? But, oh we must make it about ourselves so special as requesting a special diner? And then pissed when it was it declined.
Yep, said the same thing in a FB group I'm in about that. I mean, seriously? Why would they think a bartender would be able to just take off a couple of hours during the busiest times on the ship. Yeah, I'll just let my co-workers take up the slack while I go eat dinner when I'm supposed to be working???
So when my kids were in about middle school, I started telling them that if one of their friends asked them to do something they didnt think was right or made them uncomfortable, to make an excuse that puts the blame on me. “Sorry, Mom said I can’t go to the mall on Friday after school” Crew probably uses the same type that of excuse.
I told my sons to do the same -and blame me - any time they needed to. just say My Mum would kill me if I did... or My Mum said I can't... and to play up how mad I'd get. Always good to have someone else to blame. 😆
I was recently on an all inclusive cruise. Two days before the cruise was over I sent a message through the ship app about how much I appreciated and valued my two cabin stewards. When I saw them the next morning one of the stewards said, "It was so kind of you to do that. It felt so good when they read your message out in the morning meeting. It really made us feel good for everyone to know that we were doing a good job." I say this because a friend on the cruise said that he didn't call anyone out specifically because they were all doing a great job. But I feel like it matters, having been myself both a housekeeper in a hotel as well as a waitress.
@@cctaylor6650 It was not easy to find but it was Seabourn. I can't open the app now that I am not on the ship. I think if you look for a *contact us* type of tab, you might find it on your ship's app.
I responded to John's FB post--the cruiser would be more helpful to the bartender by giving him a BIG tip. They will appreciate that much more than a meal.
If I was working 7 nights a week and had a few hours off I don’t think I would want to spend that time in a crowded restaurant/bar. He handled it perfectly.
You brought up a point that's troubled me. On a cruise, a crew member spoiled my husband and me giving us freebies every day, unsolicited. He said it was because we were always happy and that often passengers are not happy although they're on a vacation. We did ask him how we could repay his kindness because he wouldn't take a tip. We did bring him items he asked for and promised to write a glowing report on the survey. When it came time, I did write how much we appreciated his attention and joyful attitude towards his work and colleagues, but I was afraid to give specific examples. What if he weren't allowed to give away so much? I wrote generalities. He was so good to introduce us to his friends and ask them to "take care of us" if we show up at their stations. Some of his friends recognized us on another ship and treated us well. How do you write a glowing report without getting them in trouble? Other crew members on other cruises also gave us freebies or extra service in our room, unsolicited often, sometimes whispering for us not to "share the news". Just appreciate...
This! It always bothers me when people share about someone who may have broken the rules to help and hope they Don get in trouble and also give others the idea to make this the norm
We asked a bartender at a loyalty meeting if she could get clearance to go out to a lamb restaurant the chief engineer had recommended. At this point we’d be on the ship for 3 weeks. We acknowledge that we understood that there were rules about being with passengers so we were the ones asking if she could get clearance to go. It took 2-3 days, just before the port, for her to say they had not given her the time off. No repercussion from us as we had already acknowledge the rules and knew there wasn’t much for the crew to do in that port. She continued to take care of us for the next 3 weeks with no hard feelings. And it possible, her schedule really did change. (She was missing home and her mom, as this was her first contract.) in one of the last ports she shar3d with us that she and a couple of other crew members had gotten in a cab and shopped for clothes, shoes, etc. while she didn’t show us what she bought it was clear she still thought of us as people who could keep boundaries if that needed doing.
Most crew members are not allowed to “fraternize “ with the guests outside of their job description. It is not a matter of not caring about the crew members, in fact it is quite the opposite!
My bet is the crew member didn't want to go to dinner and said that "dad" said no.... and if you get really good service then tip him the amount you would have spent on a dinner and say have a great dinner.
Who's out of line? The passengers: first for thinking BT kindness was more than it was, and 2nd for writing in to complain. Goodness, people get a grip! Totally agree Tony.
"Don't be a jerk." Great advice for us all. Thanks for the video Tony. I'm afraid I have been guilty of the pre bussing tables. I shall try to check myself next time.
You are so right about being unhappy and how to complain. It’s really about being polite and have constructive criticism. When people give my company constructive criticism we really take it and change things.
I always take extra cash and all kinds of denominations when I’m going on a cruise because the only way to make sure that the person you want to tip gets the cash is to give them the cash
Service workers have to be friendly whether they actually like you or not. It’s their job! Some of us are really good at it even though we’re introverts in real life. And thank you for addressing the pre bussing issue. I commented the same on a FB page and there were several comments from servers saying they appreciate it. I can’t help but think that they weren’t actually servers or maybe they worked somewhere that you took a tub to the table to clear the dishes? It’s so difficult to show gratitude when someone is actually making your job more difficult
Most people on cruise ships see the staff and the locals of where ever they travel as entertainment. That woman and her sister wanted entertained by that bar tender. No!
I have never been bothered by people stacking the plates. Many times they are just trying to get them out of their way so they can continue to enjoy their evening.
Thank you. I just got done a four night solo cruise on the MSC Seashore. MSC is now allowing guest to drop off their luggage once they get on board ( love it). Also at the same time I met with my cabin steward. I had some minor requests i asked for nicely: extra blanket, extra pillows due to a should injury and to have ice everyday. If they still did turn down servixe that would be awesome too. Also i dont need a towel animal give that to someone else. The cabin steward catered to my request. This young man was a true rockstar. Most of the staff was awesome. I did have a slight issue with a waiter at rhe Butcher's Cut but it was minor.
There are rules against crew socializing with guests on most ships for several reasons. One of these is to protect the crew from accusations of impropriety, as well as to protect their very limited time off. Any time they spend socializing with cruisers is time they have to be in work mode.
Vegas bartender here. We get this type of request all the time. For some strange reason, people think just because we are friendly and hospitable that we want to be their friends. And in reality we couldnt care less. We're just there to do a job. I've I think people want to be friendly because they don't want to deal with other guests and dealing with the staff is a safer option. They know you're trapped and they know you can't go anywhere so they feel inspired inspired to ask you personal questions. And 2 try to Kindle a friendship.
I can’t imagine how hard it is for crew members to adhere to boundaries with passengers sometimes. The best thing a passenger can do if they like the crew is respect the boundaries they have to follow to keep their job. Write them a kind note and a great review and let it be at that.
Do not hide your tip in your stateroom. Follow the tipping procedure that the cruise line has set up. If you got the cash you want to tip somebody extra hand it to them and don't stick it in the middle of the sheets.
Everything on POINT Tony. Now, my wife and I always take at least $500 to $700 each for Tipping and "STUFF" we might want in different Ports as some don't take charge cards. I take a LOT of $2 bill for the bar tips as they seem to go over very well.
In my short stint as a (seasonal) server, I never minded when they stacked dishes. It was annoying when they'd do it with dishes already in my hands, though. I'd suggest not to write "cash" on the tip line. No one needs to know that. Managers don't need to know that. My biggest annoyance as a server and as a observer of other cruisers is the over familiarity. Guests who say your name over and over because they think it cultivates a personal level of service. Stoppit. It's weird. Let people do their job & stop asking them for favors. If you do ask and they say no, respect that and let it go. As a Disney cruiser & park goer, I've noticed a lot of this behavior where they will go to forums to nearly stalk their favorite servers and entertainers. It seems like it would be uncomfortable for the workers and it's just creepy. I'm bad at small talk so if a crew member starts talking about their personal lives, I'm just going to let them but not going to ask leading or probing questions. 😆
Hi Tony, My wife and I loved your presentation, mostly it's about having some "Common Sense." Overall, we enjoyed it. On another note: My wife and I just got off of an NCL Cruise yesterday, we had a wonderful time! We did have an excursion at Dominica Republic "OCEAN WORLD DAY." It was a very beautiful place. When we booked this excursion, it was listed as a LEVEL 1 activity excursion. I have mobility issues and in my personal opinion, it should have been a LEVEL 2 or 3. This is NCL's description for a Level 1:: '"Tours with this activity level involve walking over relatively level terrain, possible some cobblestone, gravel, or a few steps." This park was far from that description. I explained this to the person at the "Shore Excursion" desk. We really did enjoy this wonderful 10-day cruise on NCL JOY. NCL is mine and my families favorite cruise line, and we understand things do happen. Thanks for listening to my banter.
Pretty certain the crew member used the "ask my boss" excuse to avoid going. Writing that complaint to the Brand Ambassador confirmed the crewmember was correct.
On one of our cruises during COVID, a guy sitting at a table for 6 had invited a female crew member to join them for dinner. The wait staff had to add another table, etc. It was a lot of work for them. The guy was a loud mouth saying this is a crew member. I always eat with crew members. He was a solo cruiser. We felt bad for her. It was just an embarrassing experience. The next night he did it again. The 3rd night half of the table didn’t show and the guy had two crew members with him. The only person comfortable with it was that guy. Everyone else at his table, near the table and wait staff felt very uncomfortable. It was just a weird situation.
We asked a crew member one time if he was going ashore. He said he would be going to Pillow Island instead 🛌. These people work way too hard to have to spend their off time dining with you when they could probably be resting! Also they have so little time off to do things they want to do. They are there to do their jobs and not to become your new best friend.
Hi Tony, just want to say, you are fantastic, you tell it like it is you advocate for workers and passengers, keep up the great work you do, and of course God Bless you and your entire family.
Hi Tony, I think you are spot on with your view of the Carnival cruise dinner invite. Like you point out, who knows if this crew member even wanted to dine with the passengers:-(
I think that if that person wanted to do something for the crew member they would have been better off tipping them the price of the dinner so they can do it on their time. Crew members have very little time off and asking them to spend that time with you could be presumptuous.
Tony, I agree with you completely about a) inflammatory language is not only needless and detracting from the validity of one’s point but b) is often mean spirited and classless. I also agree that the whole idea of taking a crew member to dinner is awkward at the very least.
I appreciate the information about not pre-busing the table. My husband and I are both guilty of this and was unaware that it was annoying, lol. I will definitely remember this next time we go out.
The people who complain about not being able to bring the crew member to dinner are unbelievable. They’d probably be the first ones to complain if everyone else on board brings their favorite crew member to dinner! Even back in the very liberal 70’s, we couldn’t have a crew member at dinner. Once back then, my sister and I had to ask the maître d’ for special permission to join our new boyfriends in the other onboard dining room. Even then, he would only approve it for lunch, not dinner (presumably because more people skipped lunch in the dining rooms). We were willing to take “no” for an answer, which is probably why he approved it.
Great points about interactions with crew members. The person wanting to "have dinner with a crew member" is way off base. Sounds to me like there was something going on and the cruiser wanted to pursue a relationship which could be inappropriate at best.
Good job, Tony. We carry cash on land and on cruise ships, if we want to tip a team member for exceptional service. The tip is between me/us a d the team member. How the team member handles declaration of the cash is up to them. The best to you and Jenny B.
The crew member probably just used that as an excuse to NOT go to dinner with them. As stated in another comment I read, when I was a kid and didn't want to go somewhere with someone (usually a friend at school or something), I would always say "my mom said I can't go." This sounds like the adult version of that. And I don't blame the crew member. I wouldn't want to go to dinner with people I didn't know and sit there for 2 hours with them. I would feel so awkward.
Why would you need to befriend a crew member?? They are being friendly and pleasant toyou and everyone else. People need boundaries - I cant imagine imposing on a crew member like that!
Loved the digest portion. Tony we get BOGO's and have for many years at the special restaurants. So it's always one meal no bill which means no tip. You get the meal and the service and server gets didilly!!!!!!! Same goes for RCI card freebies for drinks. We carry cash and know we should. For example the free drinks-- we give 3 to 5 bucks-- the special restaurants -- yes we see the tip is included on the paper receipt but always have an extra 20 we slip the waiter. REASON one meal is BOGO and 2 they do treat you great even knowing the meal doesn't get them a tip. My suggestion to all cruisers. Figure up what you would tip every day normally for 3 meals-- bar tender tips or restaurant tips. We are getting away cheap when you add it up-- shore vs cruise.
Thank You Tony! I wish the cruise surveys allowed you to comment about more specific things. Is it just me? but sometimes I have a praise or suggestion, but the survey has no place to put these,
I have to admit you caught me on a few things that I have done or would be inclined to do. I was humbled, and I learned a lot. Thanks from a long time subscriber.
We’ve met one crew member in over 30 years of cruising that we’ve remained friends with. He’s a fun person and we try to get on his ship once in a while We always carry cash to leave additional tips to those crew members we want to. Usually our waiters and room stewards. Only one time did we not tip the room steward extra
I'd like to share a story about complimenting a performer. While sailing aboard the Celebrity Summit a number of years ago, we enjoyed a performance of Four Seasons hits by an amazing quartet. After the show, the young man who sang bass was in the hall. I approached him planning on complimenting the timbre of his voice and his tone control. Instead of being allowed to say anything, the young man turned to me, and said, " I know, Little guy with a big voice...." I smiled and said, " Well since you've already complimented yourself I guess I don't need to.
Joe and Sue need to realize that folks have bubbles... Just because they invade spaces doesn't mean that we all like to. I hate eating with strangers. I barely like talking to most. 🙄
Hi Tony. 1- Glad that person will be going to jail. Just wrong. 2- do people really think crew want to "hang out" with passengers on thier time off , it's kind of strange. 3- I think some just like to feel special and brag about it. Some of these questions and situations are just strange. As always thank you for all you do ❤
I would say the Captain does care about his employees. He was saving the employee from a potentially dangerous guest. There is also the possibility that the employee told her what he did to save himself from her advances.
We met a waiter on a cruise ship, became friends and just so happen two years later we were on the same cruise ship with him on there again. We kept up with him on Facebook and him with us five years later we got married on the navigator of the seas, he got permission to go on the navigator so he could go to our wedding. 15 years later, he’s still a great friend and lives in Puerto Rico.
Take an interest in the staff member’s home country, carry on pleasant conversation for a few minutes while they are serving you and read their cues. We always have friendly interactions, but we would never feel they would want to have dinner with us! I agree the staff member didn’t want to say no as it was awkward.
I have enjoyed diner with several different Crew members over the years. The difference is those I have dined with are crew members I have cruised with over a dozen times and have established friendships with.
Sometime people are "overly" friendly. Even with just giving hugs and that goes not just for crew but friends and family. I have friends and family who are not big on hugging and touchy feely. Like my daughter in laws, they will offer to hug me so I know it's ok. They know I'm a big hugger. Also John's response is true. SO many times my kids would call or ask "So and so wants to know if you'll let me go XXXXXXX" had an agreement Do you want to go or if it was in person they would ask out loud but then mouth NOOOOOO. If they said No then I said no. Maybe, in the case of the crew member, they didn't even ask. They just came back with "No, insert person, said I can't have the time off" Buying crew drinks is just like wanting to take them for a specialty dinner. We had 4 crew member on past cruises that we talked to a LOT. I gauge them as we are talking before I ask personal things. Just basic. Who do you have home waiting for you? If they generalize I know they don't want to go more detailed but we had one crew member who especially LOVED to talk about who was waiting for them. By the end of the cruise not only were they bringing me out their pictures of their home life but his wife and children, their family EVERYTHING. I didn't ask for that but they were just so PROUD of what they do to help their family and how much they love them. I'm looking at a picture that they took of Ed and I and I smile when I think about them and the others that we remember most.
Good to know about these well-meaning things that may unintentionally irk the hardworking crew. Guilty of stacking dishes here... will try to cease and desist as we sail forward.
It is in the rules that workers are not allowed to fraternize with customers. He probably knew from the onset that it wouldn't be allowed, but he probably did his best not to hurt the person's feelings. Getting butt hurt over something that is a well known rule and in the contract is ignorant.
The ONLY way I could ever see myself getting into a physical altercation on a cruise ship is if my wife and I came into our cabin and discovered a hidden camera... Yeah.. I'm calling housekeeping and after that they will have no choice but to put me in the naughty room. I'd happily take that charge!
We live in a country club and tipping is a big issue with me when we dine at the club restaurants. An 18% gratuity is already built into the check. I think they call it a "service charge". But the server gets only a portion of that. So then you're expected to leave cash on top of the 18% for the server. This can easily turn a $100 dinner into a $150 dinner. Tipping in America is out of control. You go to Europe and tipping isn't even expected because they pay their workers well. A tip is for exceptional service and may be just a couple dollars or so.
Oh, that last one drives me nuts!!! On Viking Ocean cruises they do not routinely provide a gentle walkers tour as they do in their river cruises, so when people get slowed down on their tour they will bitch to each other, bitch in on line forums, but when confronted either on line or in person about why they didn’t voice those complaints to the line, I inevitably hear “well, I didn’t want to sound like a jerk”… so you can voice all those things from behind your keyboard that you wouldn’t say to their (or my) face? But if the able bodied would add their voices to the less able then maybe the cruise line would sit up and pay attention… because trust me, it’s no more pleasant for us than it is for you! Off my soap box now 😊
Bartenders make tips off of interaction. Its very possible the bartender was not interested in more than that, like going to dinner and used "denied" as an excuse to remove himself from the situation.
I’m guessing the bar tender did NOT want to have dinner with them. He may have mentioned it to his boss, “Hey boss, these to women want me to have dinner with them. Isn’t it against company policy [bartender nodding his head vigorously]? So I’ll just tell them that.”
I had a frank and open conversations with many entertainers on cruise ships - they most want TIPS!! Tip directly! People buy drink after drink when they really want $$$!
As a bartender the boss said no was indeed a polite way to decline the invitation. We as bartenders have a job to help you enjoy your time, not become besties
I'm guilty of pre-bussing the table. I stack the plates and scrape the leftover food on the top plate. I set all the silverware off to the side and collect napkins.
We learned on certain lines that if you tip on the check at specialty dining it goes to a pool and is split among all waitstaff (not sure how it’s split). In DCL we were told (by more than one person) if you write in tip on room service check it goes to the main dining room staff. That seems very deceptive on the part of the cruiseline if true. And heard that on some lines that the staff may not get all their tips if the comment card ratings are low. Also deceptive. When I give a tip in any method, I expect that the intended person is going to receive it. I wish someone would do some research and report back how tips really work on various lines.
I always wondered why you never warn your group about hurricanes here in FL so now that I am a TA - dang they are mean…I just got a message about the weather in the Farmers Almanac?!?!? We have 2 storms possibly coming as of the posting of this message- Can you believe people flying into FL “forget” it’s HURRICANE season? Tell your beautiful wife we new TA’s need better training and advice because I don’t want to start a channel now! You and Don are the BOMB and make this look easy!!!
I was a crew member and I’ll address the comment that “maybe the crew member would get off work for a couple hours.” No Sir, they would not. 2 reasons: 1, There’s not another person easily available to do their job. 2, allowing this is definitely not crew culture. Also, I can’t even imagine having dinner with a passenger. There’s a total power imbalance; I would not be free to express my real self. And while passengers are on “vaca” mode, crew is very much in work mode. The dynamics really don’t mix at all. Sometimes though, we were allowed to go to the midnight buffet with other crew members. The guests seemed to enjoy seeing and saying hello to us there, and we were with our other crew member friends. That was awesome.
Yes I carry cash to tip when i go to specialty dining, just in case they go beyond my expectations. I n the 70 s when i started cruising, familiarity with the crew was normal, they were smaller ships and fewer crew accordingly. I made true friends from that era. However, as times have changed with cruising over time our conduct needs to change along with it.. Thx Tony for a glimpse into what not to do. I especially liked the writer’s..what you should do portion🚢🙂
I try to take a note on my phone whenever a crew member, server, etc. does something to make me want to leave an extra tip. Then at the end of the cruise I get some tip envelopes from guest services and leave cash for each person (including the cabin steward). My phone is always with me, but that way I don't need to carry cash around the ship. We normally cruise on Princess, but I assume that most lines will let you do things that way.
Having travelled with numerous cruise lines, every cruise company has rules regarding interaction with passengers. Crew members are not allowed to join in on any activity with passengers including being invited for dinner with appreciative guests. The reverse is the same. Passengers are not allowed to enter crew quarters even if invited by a crew member. The only exception on entering the crew decks is for an emergency or boarding a tender to be ferried to a port of call.
I am guilty of stacking the plates. It's a habit and we wanted to get some plates out of the way but I will now stop do that since it'll make it more difficult for the server.
I agree with you. The crew works very hard and when they do get time off, I would think they would want to spend time with other crew and friends and not have to worry about disappointing a passenger for any number of reasons.
Pre bussing? As a mom with many children, I did this all the time. Usually because young kids make such big messes and to keep young kids from playing with everything on the table. The habit continues to this day, even though my kids are grown and have kids of their own. I never would have thought this wasn't helpful. Hmmmmm.......
Do you communicate with crew members after your cruise?
I have with a few crew members that I interacted with regularly during the cruise. But only when the crew member asked for a follow on the socials. I never ask them and have never stayed in touch on a personal level.
Of course not!
Only one I have kept in Contact was with an musician and we follow her on social media.
Can't say I have. I have made some friends but they were passengers. We still talk online and meet up when we are near one another's hometown. Never a crew member, though.
Sometimes... 🤔 usually just a email or two for the ones the kids like the most. Miss Shark definitely got a email and she is a wonderful lady. 👍🚢🦈🏖
Just because a service worker is friendly, it doesn't mean that they want to be your FRIEND. I think the "my boss said no" thing is probably just a cover to protect the worker from having to decline the invitation and possibly offend the customer.
Exactly! How about handing an extra tip to the wonderful worker? But, oh we must make it about ourselves so special as requesting a special diner? And then pissed when it was it declined.
"Therefore Carnival doesn't care about their employees" is a total false assumption based on the foregoing scenario the complainer outlined.
Exactly plus it’s nearly always a fireable offense.
Yep, said the same thing in a FB group I'm in about that. I mean, seriously? Why would they think a bartender would be able to just take off a couple of hours during the busiest times on the ship. Yeah, I'll just let my co-workers take up the slack while I go eat dinner when I'm supposed to be working???
That was my first thought. We’ve all used something like that to cover up that we just don’t wanna do a thing.
Pretty sure that bartender wanted to dodge that spoiled lady and her sister-in-law. I think he was just dodging a bullet.
So when my kids were in about middle school, I started telling them that if one of their friends asked them to do something they didnt think was right or made them uncomfortable, to make an excuse that puts the blame on me. “Sorry, Mom said I can’t go to the mall on Friday after school”
Crew probably uses the same type that of excuse.
I told my sons to do the same -and blame me - any time they needed to. just say My Mum would kill me if I did... or My Mum said I can't... and to play up how mad I'd get. Always good to have someone else to blame. 😆
I was recently on an all inclusive cruise. Two days before the cruise was over I sent a message through the ship app about how much I appreciated and valued my two cabin stewards. When I saw them the next morning one of the stewards said, "It was so kind of you to do that. It felt so good when they read your message out in the morning meeting. It really made us feel good for everyone to know that we were doing a good job."
I say this because a friend on the cruise said that he didn't call anyone out specifically because they were all doing a great job. But I feel like it matters, having been myself both a housekeeper in a hotel as well as a waitress.
Do you mind saying where on the app you found that feature? And which cruiseline?
@@cctaylor6650 It was not easy to find but it was Seabourn. I can't open the app now that I am not on the ship. I think if you look for a *contact us* type of tab, you might find it on your ship's app.
Yes, this is so true. I was taught in my hospitality class that calling out by name holds more weight than just saying “they” did a good job.
Great idea! I'm cruising next month and plan to do this very thing.
@@cctaylor6650 It was Seabourn and I think it was a contact us sort of place on the app.
I responded to John's FB post--the cruiser would be more helpful to the bartender by giving him a BIG tip. They will appreciate that much more than a meal.
If I was working 7 nights a week and had a few hours off I don’t think I would want to spend that time in a crowded restaurant/bar. He handled it perfectly.
Tony, you are right about the crew member. They have a job to do and taking an evening off to dine with strangers cannot be on the top of their list.
100%
I'm surprised they allow it.
You brought up a point that's troubled me. On a cruise, a crew member spoiled my husband and me giving us freebies every day, unsolicited. He said it was because we were always happy and that often passengers are not happy although they're on a vacation. We did ask him how we could repay his kindness because he wouldn't take a tip. We did bring him items he asked for and promised to write a glowing report on the survey. When it came time, I did write how much we appreciated his attention and joyful attitude towards his work and colleagues, but I was afraid to give specific examples. What if he weren't allowed to give away so much? I wrote generalities. He was so good to introduce us to his friends and ask them to "take care of us" if we show up at their stations. Some of his friends recognized us on another ship and treated us well. How do you write a glowing report without getting them in trouble? Other crew members on other cruises also gave us freebies or extra service in our room, unsolicited often, sometimes whispering for us not to "share the news". Just appreciate...
This! It always bothers me when people share about someone who may have broken the rules to help and hope they Don get in trouble and also give others the idea to make this the norm
We asked a bartender at a loyalty meeting if she could get clearance to go out to a lamb restaurant the chief engineer had recommended. At this point we’d be on the ship for 3 weeks. We acknowledge that we understood that there were rules about being with passengers so we were the ones asking if she could get clearance to go. It took 2-3 days, just before the port, for her to say they had not given her the time off. No repercussion from us as we had already acknowledge the rules and knew there wasn’t much for the crew to do in that port. She continued to take care of us for the next 3 weeks with no hard feelings. And it possible, her schedule really did change. (She was missing home and her mom, as this was her first contract.) in one of the last ports she shar3d with us that she and a couple of other crew members had gotten in a cab and shopped for clothes, shoes, etc. while she didn’t show us what she bought it was clear she still thought of us as people who could keep boundaries if that needed doing.
Yes we’ve eaten with crew but they were staff and it was a captains club invitation we received.
Most crew members are not allowed to “fraternize “ with the guests outside of their job description. It is not a matter of not caring about the crew members, in fact it is quite the opposite!
I can literally see John Heald rolling his eyes at how ridiculous this lady’s complaint is
FFS as he likes to say 😊
@@karlat7880I would not have expected him to say that. I love him at least a little for it.
My bet is the crew member didn't want to go to dinner and said that "dad" said no.... and if you get really good service then tip him the amount you would have spent on a dinner and say have a great dinner.
My thoughts exactly!
In my opinion, I think the crew member didn’t want to spend the time with the passengers. They don’t have that much free time
Who's out of line? The passengers: first for thinking BT kindness was more than it was, and 2nd for writing in to complain. Goodness, people get a grip! Totally agree Tony.
"Don't be a jerk." Great advice for us all. Thanks for the video Tony. I'm afraid I have been guilty of the pre bussing tables. I shall try to check myself next time.
You are so right about being unhappy and how to complain. It’s really about being polite and have constructive criticism. When people give my company constructive criticism we really take it and change things.
I always take extra cash and all kinds of denominations when I’m going on a cruise because the only way to make sure that the person you want to tip gets the cash is to give them the cash
Amen on the love and respect to the hard working staff!,
Service workers have to be friendly whether they actually like you or not. It’s their job! Some of us are really good at it even though we’re introverts in real life.
And thank you for addressing the pre bussing issue. I commented the same on a FB page and there were several comments from servers saying they appreciate it. I can’t help but think that they weren’t actually servers or maybe they worked somewhere that you took a tub to the table to clear the dishes? It’s so difficult to show gratitude when someone is actually making your job more difficult
Most people on cruise ships see the staff and the locals of where ever they travel as entertainment. That woman and her sister wanted entertained by that bar tender. No!
I have never been bothered by people stacking the plates. Many times they are just trying to get them out of their way so they can continue to enjoy their evening.
Thank you. I just got done a four night solo cruise on the MSC Seashore. MSC is now allowing guest to drop off their luggage once they get on board ( love it). Also at the same time I met with my cabin steward. I had some minor requests i asked for nicely: extra blanket, extra pillows due to a should injury and to have ice everyday. If they still did turn down servixe that would be awesome too. Also i dont need a towel animal give that to someone else. The cabin steward catered to my request. This young man was a true rockstar. Most of the staff was awesome. I did have a slight issue with a waiter at rhe Butcher's Cut but it was minor.
Tony , once again you are right on. If a crew member really goes above and beyond We give them a tip.
There are rules against crew socializing with guests on most ships for several reasons. One of these is to protect the crew from accusations of impropriety, as well as to protect their very limited time off. Any time they spend socializing with cruisers is time they have to be in work mode.
Vegas bartender here.
We get this type of request all the time. For some strange reason, people think just because we are friendly and hospitable that we want to be their friends. And in reality we couldnt care less. We're just there to do a job. I've I think people want to be friendly because they don't want to deal with other guests and dealing with the staff is a safer option. They know you're trapped and they know you can't go anywhere so they feel inspired inspired to ask you personal questions.
And 2 try to Kindle a friendship.
sadly I think some very lonely people spend a lot of time on cruises and think all the crew are their family or best friends.
I can’t imagine how hard it is for crew members to adhere to boundaries with passengers sometimes. The best thing a passenger can do if they like the crew is respect the boundaries they have to follow to keep their job. Write them a kind note and a great review and let it be at that.
Tony, you're absolutely right, as soon a profanity and bad language is used in a argument it's gone.
Do not hide your tip in your stateroom. Follow the tipping procedure that the cruise line has set up. If you got the cash you want to tip somebody extra hand it to them and don't stick it in the middle of the sheets.
Exactly!
🤣😂🤣 Just shows someone has never changed sheets to launder- and how they are bunched up.
Maye he WANTED TO GO?!?!
Everything on POINT Tony. Now, my wife and I always take at least $500 to $700 each for Tipping and "STUFF" we might want in different Ports as some don't take charge cards. I take a LOT of $2 bill for the bar tips as they seem to go over very well.
Once in a while I wonder why people who carry cash for tips do not carry $2 bills. Almost always brings a smile to the receiver.
In my short stint as a (seasonal) server, I never minded when they stacked dishes. It was annoying when they'd do it with dishes already in my hands, though. I'd suggest not to write "cash" on the tip line. No one needs to know that. Managers don't need to know that.
My biggest annoyance as a server and as a observer of other cruisers is the over familiarity. Guests who say your name over and over because they think it cultivates a personal level of service. Stoppit. It's weird. Let people do their job & stop asking them for favors. If you do ask and they say no, respect that and let it go.
As a Disney cruiser & park goer, I've noticed a lot of this behavior where they will go to forums to nearly stalk their favorite servers and entertainers. It seems like it would be uncomfortable for the workers and it's just creepy. I'm bad at small talk so if a crew member starts talking about their personal lives, I'm just going to let them but not going to ask leading or probing questions. 😆
Hi Tony,
My wife and I loved your presentation, mostly it's about having some "Common Sense." Overall, we enjoyed it.
On another note:
My wife and I just got off of an NCL Cruise yesterday, we had a wonderful time! We did have an excursion at Dominica Republic "OCEAN WORLD DAY." It was a very beautiful place.
When we booked this excursion, it was listed as a LEVEL 1 activity excursion. I have mobility issues and in my personal opinion, it should have been a LEVEL 2 or 3.
This is NCL's description for a Level 1::
'"Tours with this activity level involve walking over relatively level terrain, possible some cobblestone, gravel, or a few steps." This park was far from that description.
I explained this to the person at the "Shore Excursion" desk.
We really did enjoy this wonderful 10-day cruise on NCL JOY.
NCL is mine and my families favorite cruise line, and we understand things do happen.
Thanks for listening to my banter.
Pretty certain the crew member used the "ask my boss" excuse to avoid going. Writing that complaint to the Brand Ambassador confirmed the crewmember was correct.
On one of our cruises during COVID, a guy sitting at a table for 6 had invited a female crew member to join them for dinner. The wait staff had to add another table, etc. It was a lot of work for them. The guy was a loud mouth saying this is a crew member. I always eat with crew members. He was a solo cruiser.
We felt bad for her. It was just an embarrassing experience. The next night he did it again. The 3rd night half of the table didn’t show and the guy had two crew members with him. The only person comfortable with it was that guy. Everyone else at his table, near the table and wait staff felt very uncomfortable.
It was just a weird situation.
Thanks for the cruise news and your views
We asked a crew member one time if he was going ashore. He said he would be going to Pillow Island instead 🛌. These people work way too hard to have to spend their off time dining with you when they could probably be resting! Also they have so little time off to do things they want to do. They are there to do their jobs and not to become your new best friend.
I haven't connected with a crew member after a cruise. Make memories while you're there but don't be creepy lol
Does that sound creepy, huh? Lol, well said!
Hi Tony, just want to say, you are fantastic, you tell it like it is you advocate for workers and passengers, keep up the great work you do, and of course God Bless you and your entire family.
It should be common sense that you don’t ask crew members to dinner….or anything else.
Hi Tony, I think you are spot on with your view of the Carnival cruise dinner invite. Like you point out, who knows if this crew member even wanted to dine with the passengers:-(
I think that if that person wanted to do something for the crew member they would have been better off tipping them the price of the dinner so they can do it on their time. Crew members have very little time off and asking them to spend that time with you could be presumptuous.
Tony, I agree with you completely about a) inflammatory language is not only needless and detracting from the validity of one’s point but b) is often mean spirited and classless. I also agree that the whole idea of taking a crew member to dinner is awkward at the very least.
Great video, Tony! Appreciate all of it & agree with you on "not being a jerk".
These are great points to think about! Thanks.
I appreciate the information about not pre-busing the table. My husband and I are both guilty of this and was unaware that it was annoying, lol. I will definitely remember this next time we go out.
The people who complain about not being able to bring the crew member to dinner are unbelievable. They’d probably be the first ones to complain if everyone else on board brings their favorite crew member to dinner! Even back in the very liberal 70’s, we couldn’t have a crew member at dinner. Once back then, my sister and I had to ask the maître d’ for special permission to join our new boyfriends in the other onboard dining room. Even then, he would only approve it for lunch, not dinner (presumably because more people skipped lunch in the dining rooms). We were willing to take “no” for an answer, which is probably why he approved it.
I agree 100%, Tony! Tips over drinks, chocolate, socks or anything else.
Great points about interactions with crew members. The person wanting to "have dinner with a crew member" is way off base. Sounds to me like there was something going on and the cruiser wanted to pursue a relationship which could be inappropriate at best.
Never seen a problem with dropping off luggage and leaving until cabin is ready!
Some people thought the “Love Boat” was a documentary.
Good job, Tony.
We carry cash on land and on cruise ships, if we want to tip a team member for exceptional service. The tip is between me/us a d the team member. How the team member handles declaration of the cash is up to them.
The best to you and Jenny B.
Yes I 100% agree with you that respectful comments are best.
The crew member probably just used that as an excuse to NOT go to dinner with them. As stated in another comment I read, when I was a kid and didn't want to go somewhere with someone (usually a friend at school or something), I would always say "my mom said I can't go." This sounds like the adult version of that. And I don't blame the crew member. I wouldn't want to go to dinner with people I didn't know and sit there for 2 hours with them. I would feel so awkward.
Outside of a business relationship (ie barman) there should never be any personal relationship.
Why would you need to befriend a crew member?? They are being friendly and pleasant toyou and everyone else. People need boundaries - I cant imagine imposing on a crew member like that!
Loved the digest portion. Tony we get BOGO's and have for many years at the special restaurants. So it's always one meal no bill which means no tip. You get the meal and the service and server gets didilly!!!!!!! Same goes for RCI card freebies for drinks. We carry cash and know we should. For example the free drinks-- we give 3 to 5 bucks-- the special restaurants -- yes we see the tip is included on the paper receipt but always have an extra 20 we slip the waiter. REASON one meal is BOGO and 2 they do treat you great even knowing the meal doesn't get them a tip. My suggestion to all cruisers. Figure up what you would tip every day normally for 3 meals-- bar tender tips or restaurant tips. We are getting away cheap when you add it up-- shore vs cruise.
Thank You Tony! I wish the cruise surveys allowed you to comment about more specific things. Is it just me? but sometimes I have a praise or suggestion, but the survey has no place to put these,
I have to admit you caught me on a few things that I have done or would be inclined to do. I was humbled, and I learned a lot.
Thanks from a long time subscriber.
We’ve met one crew member in over 30 years of cruising that we’ve remained friends with. He’s a fun person and we try to get on his ship once in a while We always carry cash to leave additional tips to those crew members we want to. Usually our waiters and room stewards. Only one time did we not tip the room steward extra
I was always told crew members can get in trouble hanging out or spending a lot of time with the passengers
High five 🙌 Tony! Excellent points. I couldn’t agree more.
I'd like to share a story about complimenting a performer. While sailing aboard the Celebrity Summit a number of years ago, we enjoyed a performance of Four Seasons hits by an amazing quartet. After the show, the young man who sang bass was in the hall. I approached him planning on complimenting the timbre of his voice and his tone control. Instead of being allowed to say anything, the young man turned to me, and said, " I know, Little guy with a big voice...." I smiled and said, " Well since you've already complimented yourself I guess I don't need to.
Joe and Sue need to realize that folks have bubbles... Just because they invade spaces doesn't mean that we all like to. I hate eating with strangers. I barely like talking to most. 🙄
Hi Tony. 1- Glad that person will be going to jail. Just wrong. 2- do people really think crew want to "hang out" with passengers on thier time off , it's kind of strange. 3- I think some just like to feel special and brag about it. Some of these questions and situations are just strange. As always thank you for all you do ❤
I would say the Captain does care about his employees. He was saving the employee from a potentially dangerous guest. There is also the possibility that the employee told her what he did to save himself from her advances.
We met a waiter on a cruise ship, became friends and just so happen two years later we were on the same cruise ship with him on there again. We kept up with him on Facebook and him with us five years later we got married on the navigator of the seas, he got permission to go on the navigator so he could go to our wedding. 15 years later, he’s still a great friend and lives in Puerto Rico.
Take an interest in the staff member’s home country, carry on pleasant conversation for a few minutes while they are serving you and read their cues. We always have friendly interactions, but we would never feel they would want to have dinner with us! I agree the staff member didn’t want to say no as it was awkward.
I completely agree with you, Tony. Maybe the crewmember was being kind and said I’m sorry, but my boss won’t let me to save their feelings.
I have enjoyed diner with several different Crew members over the years. The difference is those I have dined with are crew members I have cruised with over a dozen times and have established friendships with.
Sometime people are "overly" friendly. Even with just giving hugs and that goes not just for crew but friends and family. I have friends and family who are not big on hugging and touchy feely. Like my daughter in laws, they will offer to hug me so I know it's ok. They know I'm a big hugger.
Also John's response is true. SO many times my kids would call or ask "So and so wants to know if you'll let me go XXXXXXX" had an agreement Do you want to go or if it was in person they would ask out loud but then mouth NOOOOOO. If they said No then I said no. Maybe, in the case of the crew member, they didn't even ask. They just came back with "No, insert person, said I can't have the time off"
Buying crew drinks is just like wanting to take them for a specialty dinner.
We had 4 crew member on past cruises that we talked to a LOT. I gauge them as we are talking before I ask personal things. Just basic. Who do you have home waiting for you? If they generalize I know they don't want to go more detailed but we had one crew member who especially LOVED to talk about who was waiting for them. By the end of the cruise not only were they bringing me out their pictures of their home life but his wife and children, their family EVERYTHING. I didn't ask for that but they were just so PROUD of what they do to help their family and how much they love them. I'm looking at a picture that they took of Ed and I and I smile when I think about them and the others that we remember most.
Good to know about these well-meaning things that may unintentionally irk the hardworking crew. Guilty of stacking dishes here... will try to cease and desist as we sail forward.
It is in the rules that workers are not allowed to fraternize with customers. He probably knew from the onset that it wouldn't be allowed, but he probably did his best not to hurt the person's feelings. Getting butt hurt over something that is a well known rule and in the contract is ignorant.
Tony this article is very interesting and informative. Thank you for sharing!
The ONLY way I could ever see myself getting into a physical altercation on a cruise ship is if my wife and I came into our cabin and discovered a hidden camera... Yeah.. I'm calling housekeeping and after that they will have no choice but to put me in the naughty room. I'd happily take that charge!
Thank you Tony for this Video… It was one of my favorites…
We live in a country club and tipping is a big issue with me when we dine at the club restaurants. An 18% gratuity is already built into the check. I think they call it a "service charge". But the server gets only a portion of that. So then you're expected to leave cash on top of the 18% for the server. This can easily turn a $100 dinner into a $150 dinner. Tipping in America is out of control. You go to Europe and tipping isn't even expected because they pay their workers well. A tip is for exceptional service and may be just a couple dollars or so.
We were on the NCL Sun and reported to our steward a broken USB port….AMAZING it was fixed in a half hour! Yahoo!
Oh, that last one drives me nuts!!! On Viking Ocean cruises they do not routinely provide a gentle walkers tour as they do in their river cruises, so when people get slowed down on their tour they will bitch to each other, bitch in on line forums, but when confronted either on line or in person about why they didn’t voice those complaints to the line, I inevitably hear “well, I didn’t want to sound like a jerk”… so you can voice all those things from behind your keyboard that you wouldn’t say to their (or my) face? But if the able bodied would add their voices to the less able then maybe the cruise line would sit up and pay attention… because trust me, it’s no more pleasant for us than it is for you! Off my soap box now 😊
Informative video, Tony!
Bartenders make tips off of interaction. Its very possible the bartender was not interested in more than that, like going to dinner and used "denied" as an excuse to remove himself from the situation.
I’m guessing the bar tender did NOT want to have dinner with them. He may have mentioned it to his boss, “Hey boss, these to women want me to have dinner with them. Isn’t it against company policy [bartender nodding his head vigorously]? So I’ll just tell them that.”
Great video Tony! I’m guilty of the plate stacking. Next time I will fight the urge to stack the plates and leave them only.
I had a frank and open conversations with many entertainers on cruise ships - they most want TIPS!! Tip directly! People buy drink after drink when they really want $$$!
As a bartender the boss said no was indeed a polite way to decline the invitation. We as bartenders have a job to help you enjoy your time, not become besties
I heard when you add a tip on a check it goes into a tip pool. Like you said if you do cash then that goes to that person
Thank you Tony, appreciate your keeping us up to date and giving us your thoughts on the news.
Officially petitioning to bring back the jazz hands! lol Great vid, Tony!
I'm guilty of pre-bussing the table. I stack the plates and scrape the leftover food on the top plate. I set all the silverware off to the side and collect napkins.
I agree with you and John
We learned on certain lines that if you tip on the check at specialty dining it goes to a pool and is split among all waitstaff (not sure how it’s split). In DCL we were told (by more than one person) if you write in tip on room service check it goes to the main dining room staff. That seems very deceptive on the part of the cruiseline if true. And heard that on some lines that the staff may not get all their tips if the comment card ratings are low. Also deceptive. When I give a tip in any method, I expect that the intended person is going to receive it. I wish someone would do some research and report back how tips really work on various lines.
I always wondered why you never warn your group about hurricanes here in FL so now that I am a TA - dang they are mean…I just got a message about the weather in the Farmers Almanac?!?!? We have 2 storms possibly coming as of the posting of this message- Can you believe people flying into FL “forget” it’s HURRICANE season? Tell your beautiful wife we new TA’s need better training and advice because I don’t want to start a channel now! You and Don are the BOMB and make this look easy!!!
Having a little cash with you for tips is always a great move, especially if you have asked for something special or unusual.
I was a crew member and I’ll address the comment that “maybe the crew member would get off work for a couple hours.” No Sir, they would not.
2 reasons: 1, There’s not another person easily available to do their job. 2, allowing this is definitely not crew culture.
Also, I can’t even imagine having dinner with a passenger. There’s a total power imbalance; I would not be free to express my real self. And while passengers are on “vaca” mode, crew is very much in work mode. The dynamics really don’t mix at all.
Sometimes though, we were allowed to go to the midnight buffet with other crew members. The guests seemed to enjoy seeing and saying hello to us there, and we were with our other crew member friends.
That was awesome.
Yes I carry cash to tip when i go to specialty dining, just in case they go beyond my expectations. I n the 70 s when i started cruising, familiarity with the crew was normal, they were smaller ships and fewer crew accordingly. I made true friends from that era. However, as times have changed with cruising over time our conduct needs to change along with it.. Thx Tony for a glimpse into what not to do. I especially liked the writer’s..what you should do portion🚢🙂
I try to take a note on my phone whenever a crew member, server, etc. does something to make me want to leave an extra tip. Then at the end of the cruise I get some tip envelopes from guest services and leave cash for each person (including the cabin steward). My phone is always with me, but that way I don't need to carry cash around the ship. We normally cruise on Princess, but I assume that most lines will let you do things that way.
I did not know about cash tips but the real surprise was not prebussing the table. Absolutely noted, will no longer do that.
Having travelled with numerous cruise lines, every cruise company has rules regarding interaction with passengers. Crew members are not allowed to join in on any activity with passengers including being invited for dinner with appreciative guests. The reverse is the same. Passengers are not allowed to enter crew quarters even if invited by a crew member. The only exception on entering the crew decks is for an emergency or boarding a tender to be ferried to a port of call.
I am guilty of stacking the plates. It's a habit and we wanted to get some plates out of the way but I will now stop do that since it'll make it more difficult for the server.
I agree with you. The crew works very hard and when they do get time off, I would think they would want to spend time with other crew and friends and not have to worry about disappointing a passenger for any number of reasons.
Great info Tony! CCCRRRRRUUUZZZZZZIIINNGGG!
Awsome show Tony!
Pre bussing? As a mom with many children, I did this all the time. Usually because young kids make such big messes and to keep young kids from playing with everything on the table. The habit continues to this day, even though my kids are grown and have kids of their own. I never would have thought this wasn't helpful. Hmmmmm.......