He's right. You should be united in tackling problems with the kids. So why did he make a unilateral decision in punishing your son? Why didn't he contact you first?
And I bet if OP flipped the script and said that this means she can punish his kids, he would try to bs a “reason” why she can’t. I’m glad she dumped him and if any friends try to harp that OP was the AH, she can inform them he’s free if they want him
@@melrobertson2743 Bf shouldn’t be allowed too this was far to abusive. I replied to them because he said he is right but it’s wrong. No one who parents this much differently from you should be making any decisions about your children not even in cooperation with you that is just not OK. Why say someone who openly and audaciously abuses other but speaks the opposite is just plain ole WRONG if you think her B$&@! BF is Right 🤷🏾♀️….
Last story: it might be a vocabulary issue, but aren't boxers just underwear? I wouldn't let a child go out in underwear even if it was "stupid teenager stuff"
That’s what I was thinking. Boxers are not loungewear where I am from. I’m waiting for the inevitable story where OP is YTA for not letting his teen daughter assless underwear to the mall.
There is a fashion trend BUT it’s the same way whale tails and rolling the top of shorts to be booty shorts was. You wear contrasting undies and either have a whale tail or darker undies and light boxers. Or no undies at all and pop the top button on some boxers to show off below the naval. It’s a trend to copy a TikTok artist who went to OF. I like to do that at home for my partner, not in public but I’m almost 30. My friends teen daughter tried this and found out that the school will expel you over this if a guy pours water on pale boxers. She had to reverse uno admin but only because they tried to solely blame her daughter vs the boy who recorded it with a confession and posted it online 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻
Story one. Bf isn't even the kid's stepdad. The man is REPLACEABLE. The fact he thought he can go on a power trip over children that arent even his stepchildren is wild
A perfect example of why you should never ever date single m0thers. There is zero benefit. Don't turn another m4ns trash into treasure boys. Have fun with your cats and boxed wine.
@teresajohnson6157 phoney with the spectrum. Show me one kid who doesn't get excited at the prospect of a water park. I wouldn't put it past the boyfriend to have exaggerated or made the whole thing up.
And those kids are likely proud of her too. I’m betting OPs other child was getting threatened by the bf to act right or he’ll do to him what he did to his sibling
Except she threw his stuff out to the public without warning and she will be legally responsible for any items missing or damaged. That’s the only stupid thing she did. Other than that good on her.
@@jimdob6528 came to say this. Everything up until she threw out all his stuff and left it to be picked through. If guy calls the cops it probably won't end well.
It is really lovely to hear a parent chooses their child over their romantic partner. OP’s children know that their mom has their back and is going to protect them first.
I'm Mexican and we usually have a butt load of kids, but we always teach them not to grab other people's things. I don't get why that dude is complaining about his sister,the kid broke her laptop and he wants her to be sorry? Like wtf? Children aren't ferral to be grabbing stuff that is not theirs, teach your kids manners!!
Plus OP and his siblings probably (hopefully) teach their children that they don’t have to hug or kiss anyone if they don’t feel like it. But they expect their sister to hug her nieces and nephews.
Story #1: NTA!! WAY TO GO MAMA BEAR!! That was his way of letting you know that he was in control. He was starting with your children and working his way up to you! I bet that if his son didn't put up his clothes he wouldn't have said anything.
And guarantee that he’ll bail on them the moment he turns 18. That is unless he’s able to stay with another relative before then. Doubt the parents would be on board even though they view him as a financial obligation rather than their child.
I was wondering the same thing as one of the comments in the video. The OP might have been adopted from infancy, possibly even from family (like a teenage pregnancy the teenaged couldn't care for or even a family friend's). Either that, or the parents always wanted a girl and never wanted a boy.
Even traditional men were able to fix themselves something to eat when they lived alone. Treating someone like servants is how someone who thinks they own someone acts. This is not appropriate behavior for an adult.
My sisters husband is exactly like fil, he does nothing around the house as he is retired and sister still works. He used to go to work and nothing else, not even in the garden or diy. I honestly don’t think he will survive if my sister goes first. I hate how she lets him treat her but nothing changes over the years. OP and Hubby NTA, sister in law and extended family definitely AH’s
RE: Punishment and United Front You need to support me and show a united front when I make a unilateral decision without your input that goes against the plans you made. OP was NTA, and was Exactly Right in doing as she did. Go Mama Bear.
makes you wonder how long until they expect him to be a 'big brother aka helping care for the baby' because infanthood was not as great as they remember
If anything he hates the parents for expecting him to to forfeit what he holds dear for their selfish reasons. Mom should give the baby her blanket since they’re expecting a daughter. We know she won’t for the same reasons OP doesn’t want to sacrifice his. I’m curious about OPs blanket since not only was it the last made by great grandmother, he said it was very intricate. I wonder if they’re jealous of how nice it looks? I really wonder why they kept trying to take it away from him many times before?
I responded on this in reddit for parents saying "I'd really like a baby blanket for new kid" "And I'd like parents that loved me. I guess it's a fair trade"
when my nephews were younger my mom asked if they could have some of the stuffed animals I had to play with, I gave the okay for the normal plushy toys but Lammy which is a knitted lamb my grandma gave me was off-limits she respected that no questions asked. i still have him lol
My heart breaks for OP. His parents suck. It makes you just want to yell at the parents to tell them to leave OP alone and his blanket is his NOT theirs or the new baby.
The comment said "older man" not old lol, the context of the age difference shows that the comment wasn't calling OP old, just "older" than the kid lol you're all good 😊
"The kids need to see us working as a team." And yet he didn't work as a team when he told OP's son to do something she hadn't asked him to do and then punish him without saying anything to OP. You go Mama Bear!
Translation: "The kids need to see me leading and you following and not questioning my decisions in front of them so they know I'm the boss." Good thing she got the hell out of there. Her kids will be just fine. It makes me wonder if this crap is why he's a single dad, too.
Translation- he gets all the responsibility and none of the authority. He’s better off. Why should he raise some other dudes kids? They’re already disrespectful, who wants that? Single mothers are a no go for men because of things like this. Kid was a brat, consequences ensue and everyone gets mad. Men create stability and discipline.
@@dcg590what a ridiculous comment plebeian. They were moving into HER HOME and he took it upon himself to punish HER CHILD and leave him home? He can raise his kids all alone and be the master of his home by himself. Comments like this and then men wonder why choose bears...every. single.time. OP doesnt need his ass.
The blanket one, theyre selfish, so selfish, he should cut contact with them when he can, they arent even his parents at this point when all they worried over was having a new kid.
Story 1: nope. NTA. Like op said, he didn’t discuss ANYTHING about disciplining her children without her present nor about leaving them behind before she met up with them. Op did right Story 2: YTA. Op and the siblings tried it. Story 3: NTA. It’s time to get the extended family involved again. And now that op is an adult, it’s time to cut all ties with them. Story 4: NTA. If Lizzie wants to keep her dad set in his ways, then that’s her problem. Not OP’s. Not OP’s husband
Last Story: from a bystanders perspective if I saw a teen girl walking around town in boxer shorts , I’d be 90% sure Chris Hansen would magically appear if I did so much as look that direction.
LAST STORY CLARIFYING IT WAS BOXER SHORTS 🩳 NOT BOXER UNDERWEAR 🩲!!!!!!!!! THERE ARE BOXER UNDERWEAR FOR WOMAN & MEN!! BUT THATS NOT WHAT SHE WAS WEARING OUT!!!! IT WAS COMFORTABLE SHORTS!!! I am adding this to all the comments acking as if she’s half naked!
@@l.clairevisto8210 what are u talking about I looked up the story OP had no additional comments and he seemed to separate lounge shorts and Boxer shorts which means they might be more underwear like. He says she could have gone out in the other lounge shorts. I think you need to look up what boxer shorts are before u try to blanket defend someone without any details.
@@l.clairevisto8210 All the online stores I've seen, who are selling boxers shorts for women, advertise them as underwear and sports wear. Multi functional clothing. It is underwear, that can also be used as shorts.
for no2. I feel a solid connection with that sister. I was the quiet one in the family, i'd rather read a book or study than interact. being in the room was good enough for me to be with my family but it wasn't enough for them. i was bullied and verbally abused for being the 'black sheep' for not interacting how they expected of me. i've not seen my family in over 10 years now. i do miss them sometimes but not worth it.
Yeah the whole family dynamic is nuts. She was the black sheep in their youth and she's the black sheep now; the only difference is now there's a new generation to help solidify that idea. OP thinks she needs to do everything to fit in with them, but they never made an effort to really understand her or include her, too, especially when young. Also, how is someone who was mostly alone in their childhoods (by these very siblings now complaining about her behavior) suddenly supposed to be all extroverted and happy about handling kids they have little experience with, let alone the parents who ignored for in the first place?
I'm sorrry that You had to go through this :( I hope You're doing better now. As for the story: I agree with all commenters that OP is an AH, but I also think that the sister taking out a laptop to work during a family gathering is also rude. But that's the only thing I would say she did wrong in this situation.
@@0PersonaNonGrata00 I get what you're saying, but how many people nowadays sit on their phone scrolling Instagram or something else whilst in the room, is it any different than that? it's interesting how much I see on both sides of the spectrum, that some people can sit together in silence and others can't and have to fill the silence with something.
@@blindbrad4719Everyone tells the introvert to get out of their comfort zone and socialize; but, no one tells the extroverts to shut up to make the area more comfortable for them to socialize. I physically can not stand being in crowded areas, but I force myself to go to family parties because I love my family. My family also finally accepted that I sometimes need to go outside to destress so I can come back in with everyone.
Tell them he's a grown ass man. And at 70 tires old it's time for him to start acting like it. You know what they say it's never too old to show an old dog a new trick.
Especially on their social media where they are making passive aggressive comments towards OP and spouse. The guy made is dying wife wait on him hand and foot when it should’ve been the other way around. Screw him and anyone condoning his selfishness!
@@GeorgieB1965a man that old fashioned only needs the Classic Food Groups: Beans, Bacon, Whiskey, and Lard. Anything else and he's being spoiled, the kind of weak willed, emotionally fragile think of soy boy vegans that he probably rails against
Story 2: Bet the sister is just glad the OP and other entitled parent siblings saved her the hassle of trying to cut her off as a power play so she could play the uno reverse card and cut them off.
OP and the siblings with kids: "HOW DARE YOU NOT LOVE OUR KIDS AND HAVE BOUNDARIES AROUND THEM! WHY SHOULD WE PAY FOR THINGS OUR CHILDREN BREAK!" Seriously, it sounds like they never had a great relationship from the start, the sister is likely 100% child free, and the OP and the rest of the siblings can't understand how anyone could not adore their children.
My one question about this story is this: Who in their right mind thinks it's a good idea to bring a work computer to a place where young/ energetic children are present? People can spill drinks, knock things over, etc. when lots of people gather. It's a recipe for disaster and shows a lack of foresight & common sense on the sister's part. The sister was right to cut contact with her entitled siblings when they iced her out of family events, and that list of grievances was overall ridiculous. But honestly - if you're so busy with work that you can't leave the computer at home for the duration of a family event, then maybe you should say "Sorry, I have work and can't make it this time" in response to the invitation.
@@redacted8005 my guess is that maybe she thought if she was preoccupied, no one would force her to mingle. The family may also not have taken “ I have work to do so I can’t make it” as an excuse
@@redacted8005 It could also be an all day / evening family thing (or even a whole weekend thing) and the sister needed to do some work for a little while, like a short video meeting or sending off some emails. Not ideal, obviously, but certainly possible. It also can depend on where the laptop was when the kid got it. If it was left on a low table, or near where the kids are playing then it's more on the sister. If it had been in its bag in the coat room (or where ever they were keeping personal things like that) and the kid went and took it out or the sister had it in a side room to work for a bit it's more on the kid and their parents.
I don’t know if boxers have a different connotation in Europe or something but in America boxers are men’s underwear. I’m 25 and saw a girl around 18 wearing the same boxers I was as gym shorts. It was weird and uncomfortable
I thought 'girl boxers' meant: booty shorts, barely covering the cheeks shorts, Rocky/Creed shorts, briefs are longer than boxers shorts, or bloomers. I'm not saying that girls don't have the right to wear what they want, and they shouldn't with about guys bring creeps. BUT, the more you stand out inappropriately, the more bad people are going to be attracted to you.
"Cold" sister story: YTA and to piggy back on the comments, OP said she should, "act like family," despite the fact that he spent the first part of this post talking about how he and all his siblings basically ignored her growing up. She has been acting exactly like the family she was trained to be...
Thank you for giving your input and perspective as a teen girl. I'm 47, not a parent, and I was like "Is it really the style now/not going to get you made fun of to wear boxers as shorts out in public?" I mean, I stare when I see people wearing lounge pants/pajamas out in public, but I thought it was just how I was raised to only wear that stuff at home, so I could be being too judgemental or something.
Nta, ex is not a parent!! Stick to your guns!! It's absolutely insane that he thought he could discipline your kid without talking to you!! Big man picking on an 8yr old!!
I'm 56M and I still cherish the blanket my grandmother knitted for me. OP's parents are horrible people. "She's a teenager girl, and you're an old man. She doesn't need your fashion opinions." I've seen what people wear these days; they need all the opinions they can get. And don't go out in your underwear alone is advice for everybody, not just women. Redditors sometimes only see what they want to see.
Wow. OP sister does NOT have to cuddle and interact with the kids. Also, id want my money back for a broken laptop. I mean who was watching the child?😊
@@nancyomalley6286 It at least should be offered to pay it off in installments! I couldn’t afford to replace it either but if my child broke it I’m going to be begging to make payments at least!
@@ZombiiDog Yeah, one way or another, the kid's mom needs to pay for the broken laptop. My idea would at least help Vera get a new laptop immediately with the siblings pitching in, and kid's mom pays the siblings back one month at a time
The last dad was right. No girl should just be wearing underwear out of the house. Edited to add: actually no person should be wearing just undies out of the house.
LAST STORY CLARIFYING IT WAS BOXER SHORTS 🩳 NOT BOXER UNDERWEAR 🩲!!!!!!!!! THERE ARE BOXER UNDERWEAR FOR WOMAN & MEN!! BUT THATS NOT WHAT SHE WAS WEARING OUT!!!! IT WAS COMFORTABLE SHORTS!!! And yes no one should be wearing underwear only down there as decency and for safety to not catch any diseases!
Why should what label the clothing was marketed under matter more than how well it actually covers the essentials? Boxers cover more than booty shorts, and yet boxers are considered underwear and booty shorts aren't, so by your standard booty shorts are better than boxers. Ridiculous.
When cleaning got to be too much for both my mom and dad, he hired cleaning ladies. He did the majority of the cooking - he was a fabulous cook, our family chef! I moved in the last two years to help. Mom passed. Dad still did the cooking until he was nearly 90, then I took over more and more of it, but under his supervision, because: Chef! I loved it and learned a great deal from him, he really was knowledgeable. Those last years with my folks were a gift, a blessing!
Story 1- so boyfriend doesn’t think “ I will talk to his mother later about this issue” but instead leaves op’s child behind at home. He doesn’t call her but lets her arrive to find her child missing from the group? He doesn’t think his actions are unjust, out of line, and over the top…. He does however think that OP is unjust, out of line, and over the top for ( ON HER OWN DECISION, no discussion) grabs her present son, drives home, packs his and his children’s things out of her home, AND BREAKS UP WITH HIM!….. Boyfriend may be right. OP should have forgiven him and after a few more months and multiple red flag waving ,,,, finally understood he’s all wrong for her and her boys AND PACK HIS STUFF AND BREAKUP! Lol
What wrong with not being kid oriented, why does being a family include interacting with kids? That does not seem like a reason to distance family since everyone is different. If Vera wants to be child free then that’s on her.
This. OP basically admits Vera isn't being rude or mean towards the kids at ALL; of anything, she just seems so AWKWARD about being around kids versus trying to be mean about it. Even the not babysitting could be due to not knowing how to handle them. I mean, I like Llamas; but that doesn't mean I'd look after one by myself, namely because I just don't know how to handle them.
Last story: Yeah, it's all fun and games until she comes home crying, telling her mom and OP that someone groped her or worse. I'm all for doing what you want, but unless there is some kind of misunderstanding boxers for me are underwear or at the very least not something you'd go out with in public. Another thing to keep in mind, no matter where you are in life or what you're going to do is: Just because you could doesn't mean you should. Not even gonna touch on what things could come out of a situation like this where she walks around in the mall, some older guy stares at her for a second too long and she's like "Oh no, this perv was staring at me" and all that while everything that was on his mind was "What the hell is she doing/wearing?"
Last story: Boxers are underwear right or is this a terminology that differs by country? The girl is going out wearing underwear regardless of what gender it's for. Best case scenario people think she's homeless and scavenging clothes to wear.
LAST STORY CLARIFYING IT WAS BOXER SHORTS 🩳 NOT BOXER UNDERWEAR 🩲!!!!!!!!! THERE ARE BOXER UNDERWEAR FOR WOMAN & MEN!! BUT THATS NOT WHAT SHE WAS WEARING OUT!!!! IT WAS COMFORTABLE SHORTS!!! I see so many don’t know basic cloths here. And it’s driving me up the wall! 😫
@@l.clairevisto8210that's underwear. You're confusing that with shorts that actual boxer/fighters wear. She is not wearing those. If she were then there would be no complaint
@@l.clairevisto8210 , @NODE1975 I looked up boxer shorts women. The they are advertised as being usable as underwear and sports shorts at the same time. You are both right/wrong. This is a fashion thing, where women take underwear and use it as normal clothing.
In The last story did everybody just miss how she's wearing men's underwear on the outside? Really it doesn't matter men's or women's we all have kind of agreed as a society that underwear go on the inside
And people are talking about teen fashion. No undergarments are not fashion. They may be pretty and cool looking but thats for the person wearing them to feel good about themselves and have fun. No one should be wearing underclothing as clothing no matter whats between the legs. Besides they have bike shorts that are boxer style but with the added detail of making them look and function like outerwear. Fabletics makes some great ones.
I was also a bit bothered by that. Though I'm not certain if these are actually boxers or if the OP is just calling them boxers. In either case, I'd think the conversation with his wife should be not the things he said but that "It is inappropriate to wear underwear as outerwear, and I do not want CPS called on us or people we know seeing her wearing only half an outfit." The fact that this was not the conversation that was had, though, makes me wonder if they're not actually boxers.
I had to pause and double check that's what was happening because at first I thought she was just wearing them as underwear, but from the sounds of it she's walking around wearing them like they're just normal every day shorts, which in that case it is weird.
Story 2…. You got exactly what you wanted, your sister out of the family. I hope none of your children have this happen to them if they are a little different than the other siblings. You taught them to do this.
Story 4: I'm 76. When I was eight my parents (both Mom and Dad) started teaching me to cook, do laundry, iron a shirt, and do other household chores. I do not feel it "woman's work" that I can sew a button back on a shirt or clean a toilet. Paul is TAH.
My fil was the same. We set up a cleaning service. & Ordered frozen meal deliveries .. via his account. and let him work it out with the microwave. No need for all the sacrifice.
Story 2: Yeah, OP sounds envious/jealous of his child-free sister and like he expected her as the child-free sibling to be a free babysitter. Also the backhanded compliment of saying "good for him" when her boyfriend got a vasectomy.
Oh most definitely. The whole first part can be boiled down to "It's not fair my sister gets paid a lot of money that she can spend entirely on her and her bf and they never have to worry about kids using up all their time and money. "
Boxers NTA: Boxers are not shorts, they're underwear. It's ok for her to wear boxers as underwear, but not as her pants out in public. Totally inappropriate. The comment calling this "a fashion mistake" is bonkers.
FIL story: NTA. The contrarian with the "esh" is definitely making logical leaps here. Telling the man to "put on his big boy pants" is hardly an insult, and hardly a low blow. It's the damn truth. And "healthy relationship"? To that I say, "What relationship?" Lol, OP essentially has none with FIL. And OP *did* stop engaging, with hubby's help lol. Lord.
Story 2. YTA. You're kidding with this bullshit right. You pay for the things your kids break, period. You're also clearly viciously jealous of your sister. She's not "over confident", based on her successful career she is DESERVEDLY confident. Her confidence is an accurate assessment of her own abilities. She also shouldn't be obligated to pick up your toddlers in her arms just bc they want her to. Being angry your kids have no personal boundaries and broke her stuff is not "not behaving like a family member." You're salty she's rich and successful and you're not. The fact she cut you off so quick after this incident tells me that it wasn't the first time.
Story 2: autism. What’s up with OP’s sister is that she’s autistic. A savant specializing in management, being quiet, not enjoying to the loud and rowdy nature kids have, being “a bit much” about how much she can talk when she gets going… As an autistic man, I absolutely recognize someone else with it. While she wouldn’t express it the same way, she is still absolutely capable of loving her siblings. And rather than being straightforward with their grievances, OP and the other siblings ostracized her from the family to try to make the sister take the hint, when hints don’t work so good. OP and their siblings aside from this sister are horrible.
She didn't sound like she's on the spectrum, she just sounds like a regular introvert. Kids are a choice, and most kids are disgusting and annoying, which is why the best part of dealing with someone else's snot goblin is that you can give them back to their parents and not have to deal with that responsibility. If anything, OP and his extrovert siblings aren't making an effort to shut up, calm down, and make time with their sister.
S2: It says that the sister brought her laptop to do some work. So how did the child get the laptop? It's never mentioned how. S3: NTA. With how the parents have been acting and now this, the parents are the idiots. That is OP's blanket!
Last story: She's wearing UNDERWEAR outside and somehow OP is the AH!? Huh!? Am I missing something? How is wearing underwear OUTSIDE okay? For anybody, let alone a teen girl? OP simply pointed out the OBVIOUS! NTA
LAST STORY CLARIFYING IT WAS BOXER SHORTS 🩳 NOT BOXER UNDERWEAR 🩲!!!!!!!!! THERE ARE BOXER UNDERWEAR FOR WOMAN & MEN!! BUT THATS NOT WHAT SHE WAS WEARING OUT!!!! IT WAS COMFORTABLE SHORTS!!! Since many aren’t educated on clothing I am putting this on every comment that doesn’t know.
@@l.clairevisto8210No such thing as boxer underwear, they are called boxer shorts. Just because you are so insistent, doesn't mean you are right. If you can use Google, you will see that "boxer shorts" are underwear, and occasionally PJs.
@@l.clairevisto8210 Calm down, All-Caps boomer. Boxer shorts ARE underwear in British English AND US English. The long form shorts boxers wear are boxing shorts.
@@l.clairevisto8210you're the one uneducated on clothing. Boxers/boxer shorts/boxer briefs are all underwear! They are NOT sports wear or shorts to do boxing in! You and the other people who don't understand that need to learn the difference.
About the successful sister, the funny thing about misogyny is had the roles been reversed and the brother was successful and the sister told him off for being cold to the nephews and nieces, he would still be a misogynist for being a successful man who’s doesn’t care about his extended family. 😂
For the old man who can't cook: can you not use a microwave? Just keep pressing that 30 seconds until it gets hot enough. Do you need something healthy well there's like meal plans with frozen meals that he just has to heat up. This whole idea that men do not cook is f****** ridiculous. Men have cooked throughout time. What the f*** do you think the hunters did or soldiers did when they needed food, they cooked.
My grandpa was born in 42 and still learned to cook and clean for himself. He wasn't exactly a chef but he made the best spaghetti and I miss his cooking. Age doesn't excuse sexism, racism or homophobia (my grandpa was also an ally).
Story 2: I KNEW this was going to boil down to “my sister has more money than me so we shouldn’t have to repay ANYTHING we break” YTA Op, i guarantee your sister is happy to get away from your entitled ass
3: OP's parents want a "baby", not a "child". They will do the same thing to baby sister once she is old enough to have her own opinions and say "No." to them.
Back in the late 80’s we wore boxer shorts and tank tops during the summer and during volleyball and basketball practice. It’s no big deal. We would sew the opening on the front closed and wore underpants under the. They were almost like regular shorts.
For the story about the 70 year old man child the person telling op she’s responsible for figuring this out can kick rocks. The husband’s family aren’t being responsible so op isn’t obligated to coddle any of them. And paying for a meal service? Those are expensive and father in law isn’t even worth ordering a pizza for since he’s so rude and ungrateful.
I really doubt that the other kids also had to earn their way to the water park. He's being ridiculous and he did this behind your back rather than call you and ask what an appropriate punishment would be. Trust gone
I would say to them you know all my life you've made me feel insignificant. Like I was never enough or if any importance. Now you want to steal the last thing that I have to connect me to my great-grandmother. Was I adopted. Is that why I was so insignificant to you guys. They haven't said Mom give her your blanket.
I'm always so baffled by adults who think they get to "teach other adults a lesson". Like who do you think you are? If they didn't ask for instruction & you aren't their parent or law enforcement or something, mind your business.
@@Digitalfairy Then don't? Walk away like the grown adult you claim to be. Trying to teach another adult a lesson they didn't ask for from you is always going to end badly & then there are 2 fools in the room instead of just one.
Last story: She is wearing male underwear outside, it is inappropriate and should be addresses, but you don't need to call her stupid or say she looks stupid.
I agree. Saying it made her look stupid was the wrong way to go about it. Explaining that maybe wearing something that is considered underwear shouldn't be worn in public because it's basically the same as going out in panties would have been a little better.
She’s wearing boxers shorts not boxer underwear those are two separate things. I hate seeing to many uneducated in cloths saying omg she’s wearing underwear out she’s NOT. and there are 2 kinds of boxer underwear men and woman! And it’s the best recommendation for females to wear for comfort and protection! AGAIN ITS SHORTS 🩳 NOT UNDERWEAR SHES WEARING!!!
This is the problem with many step fathers (Even if he's the boyfriend) that no one is allowed to discipline her child even if it's needed. Should he have advised her of this. Yep but if she's the only one allowed to punish this child then make sure the child isn't misbehaving
If there is communication, a step parent can punish their step child if its also a reasonable reaction. You know, the same thing bio parents do. Communicate with eachother as to how they should punish their kid. Not make a choice without the others involvement
A while back, when I was late 20’s, saw a girl wearing the weirdest pair of jeans I’d ever seen. She couldn’t have been much older than 14ish. The jeans had one leg cut off to little more than daisy duke length, and one leg full length. My first thought was “what the hell is that kid wearing?” Followed immediately by “did I really just think that?” It wasn’t that long ago that what I wore seemed to be weird to adults. Anyone remember JNKOs?
Story 1 - OP NTA and what he really meant about being a "united front" was, "I make the decisions, and YOU should follow because I AM the man, and you have no say, even though they are YOUR kids". Your boy got punished for NOTHING. YOU didn't ask HIM to put his clothes away because YOU did it for him. How is this YOUR son being entitled and/and or a defiant child? OP good on you for finally seeing the red flags and NOT falling for his BS. Also, good on you for putting YOUR kids first. Good job mamma! Story 2 - OP YTA - So let me get this straight, you are ALL judging your sister because she has her crap together and doesn't want to kiss your brood of children's behinds? She is NOT being mean to any of the kids, so what is the problem? It seems that the REAL problems here is that you are ALL jealous that she has her crap together. Having kids doesn't NOT make ANY of you better/superior to her. With that being said, when you have kids, as "parents" you are responsible for ANYTHING that your kids break by accident or not. Your sister being a "single" mother and on "welfare" makes NO difference, she was responsible for HER kid's behavior. At the end of the day, it seems that you ALL finally did your sister a favor by not inviting her since she won't have to put up with whatever circus those "family" gathering really were. Story 3 - OP NTA and what you can tell your mother when she starts with her "how can you look at yourself in the mirror knowing I don't want to share this with her and is like you don't want her to exist BS", your response should be, Mom, Dad, if there is ANYTHING YOU learned from THEM is that having a kid means crap. I mean, look at YOUR so-called parenting, I practically raised MYSELF because I was NOT good enough and/or worth your time. If you want your "new" baby to have her own blanket, how about ONE OF YOU learn how to make one and your "problem" is solved. I will NOT be giving away something that is MINE and was MADE FOR ME, just because YOUR BOTH AHS think that the "new" baby more deserving. Also, save the Pikachu face and the "I don't understand why our oldest kid want nothing to do with us and especially his "new" baby sister" once you are out of there. RME! Story 4 - OP NTA - Not your circus, NOT your monkeys. What your SIL and Lizzie need to do is HIRE someone to come to cook and clean for the entitled AH. They can save the "he is a traditionalist BS" for someone who cares. All that means is that your FIL is a MYSOGINISTIC AH. It is HORRENDOUS that your MIL had to cook and clean for the AH while sick and dying from cancer. YUCK! At least the poor woman is FINALLY now at peace.
Last story: Am I missing something here? Last time I checked, boxers are a type of underwear, same as briefs, boxer-briefs, or panties. So it’s teen fashion now to literally be running around in your underwear? _Huh??_
LAST STORY CLARIFYING IT WAS BOXER SHORTS 🩳 NOT BOXER UNDERWEAR 🩲!!!!!!!!! THERE ARE BOXER UNDERWEAR FOR WOMAN & MEN!! BUT THATS NOT WHAT SHE WAS WEARING OUT!!!! IT WAS COMFORTABLE SHORTS!!!
The last story: are boxers some kind of shorts? Cause really though they were only underwear. So ether its her wearing wearing shorts, completely fine or the mom/ comments are cool with her only wearing underwear?
Every time I hear a story about a grandmother making something for all the grandkids, I always wonder: why don't YOU make a blanket for your own kid? I get it, some people don't have time. But don't go stealing your kids' treasured mementos. And even if the blanket "looks bad", a lot of kids don't care about it because mommy or daddy made it.
With the blanket story, I wouldn't be suprised if it was actually that OP was a boy. I've seen quite a few parents who think that boys don't "count" as babies past about one or two, but girls stay their babies forever. From what Op said, they tried to take his baby blanket from him a lot growing up, so I would assume they decided he was too old for it.
Nta. Why did he leave a young child at home? Bf definitely was on a power trip. I bet his kids aren't perfect little angels either. Good job leaving him. Bc he will just get worse.
For the boxers: is she wearing just them without anything underneath? What about the hole? Are these women boxers (I personally have many cheap and expensive pairs myself. No, I wouldn’t wear them outside the fabric is either too thin, fragile, or see-through.) Or are these men’s boxers? I’m in my late 30s and my teens wouldn’t be wearing underwear as clothes.
Story 2: OP is an AH. Sis didn't like kids, even when she was one. OP just can't wrap his head around the fact that not all women have motherly instincts or inclinations. He doesn't understand the very simple concept that if your kids break something you're obligated to pay for it. Your poor financial situation doesn't negate your responsibility in paying for damages your child causes. OP doesn't like that Sis doesn't want to be his unpaid babysitter. Tbh, I wouldn't want to go to family gatherings if this was the kind of people I'd have to deal with.
Last story. While i agree that, ultimately, it is not OPs business what someone else wears, i do wonder ho many of tge commenters berating him are hypocrites. How many would do the exact same thing to a partner, parent or sibling if they wore something they found embarrassing? How many mental gymnastics would they execute to justify their actions?
Overconfident? Great paying job, respected in business, child free. NOT HER JOB to watch your demons or raise them to not touch things that don't belong to them. JEALOUS & PETTY.
Can someone explain to me where the misogyny in the Vera story is? The brother is shitty, without doubt, his family is just jealous and the woman sounds “gifted” In the autistic without a diagnosis way. However, there were 0 statements that even came close to misogyny, in fact he said he didn’t want her to babysit, that’s like the opposite? Right? He just ignorantly wanted her to stop being autistic and relate to kids in a way she doesn’t or can’t do, that’s ableist not misogynist, but Reddit basically says, “man saying bad thing about woman? Misogyny” when actually, it’s just bad in a different way.
Its also misogynistic because OP doesn’t allow a woman her bodily autonomy. Means in his view she isn’t allowed to make the decision to not cuddle the kids and has to do whatever they want. Also OP is hung up about the fact his sis is childfree and makes nasty comments about that.
@@Falco2Itachi the entire story was him ranting about her being “weird and gifted” ie autistic. Her refusing contact with children is a symptom of that, the entire story read as if he hated her for being autistic. The stuff about her being child free had nothing to do with being a woman, it was 100% him saying, “yeah she’s so smart but she can’t even function normally, hahaha, I’m a family man.” That’s ableism and offensive, but again is not misogyny. You’re stretching to call it misogyny when it’s actually just clearly ableism and offensive. The stuff about her not having a family or being good with kids had nothing to do with being a girl, it had everything to do with him being jealous of her success, and hating her being autistic. He views her as different and gifted, that she doesn’t deserve her success, so when she has symptoms of her being different that he can point to as negative he jumps at them. That’s all it is.
He wants her to watch the kids "for 15 minutes ". That's literally babysitting. He also has a huge problem with her boyfriend consulting her about business decisions. Yes, he dislikes her for being autistic but he also hates that she displays what are typically considered masculine traits.
I'd bet good money OP wouldn't expect his sister to babysit or give "uppies" and hugs if she were his brother. The fact that she's a working woman with no kids and thus isn't following the "life script" of womanhood is misogyny. OP is also ableist and a bully.
Story 1 ESH: The toxic single parent trope, its a classic on reddit. Both Op and the BF shouldn't be dating anyone if they are so territorial about their kids and rules.
Story 2: YTA. Quit with the family cult behavior. Forcing her to interact the way you want her to and thinking it's unreasonable for her to want her damaged property replaced is disgusting. Do better.
They’ve likely bullied her since she could remember by her being different and yet they expect her to play the part of child free aunt who likes to spoil her niblings? No and I bet OP left out that he and the other siblings like to hit her up for cash since she’s well to do.
I have two kids, and I still don't like other people's kids crawling all over me. I'm not a jungle gym. If you want your kids to do "uppsies" do it yourself. And if your kid breaks something of mine, you're going to replace it. That's not debatable. It's happening.
Last story - does the word "boxers" have a different meaning in the US? Here in the UK, it only refers to a specific type of men's underwear, which would be extremely inappropriate for a teen to wear outside the home - high risk of something peeking out.
LAST STORY CLARIFYING IT WAS BOXER SHORTS 🩳 NOT BOXER UNDERWEAR 🩲!!!!!!!!! THERE ARE BOXER UNDERWEAR FOR WOMAN & MEN!! BUT THATS NOT WHAT SHE WAS WEARING OUT!!!! IT WAS COMFORTABLE SHORTS!!! It was not underwear it was comfortable shorts. Many seem to not know the different terms of boxer shorts 🩳 under boxer shorts. That also have male/female versions.
Sty1, Mama didn't wait around for more BS. She listened to her inner voice & did what she needed to do & moved that guy outta her life. That's a real Mom that loves her kids!
and a (or few, between this post and her last one was like 7 days difference) day later was back with him not wanting to give up on him and loving him so much. (yuck)
Story 3… regarding YOUR baby blanket. Ask your mother if you could have her wedding ring because you want to give it to a future wife. See how she likes it.
Last story: Am I missing something here? A 16 year old girl is wearing boxers instead of pants, and somehow the OP is an AH for telling her that’s not okay? What? Does “Boxer shorts” mean something else where OP’s from?
The boxers story -- as long as the fly stays closed, just let it go. I'm from a generation that wore dresses over jeans, it's not for me to comment on teen trends unless they actively hurt someone.
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He's right. You should be united in tackling problems with the kids. So why did he make a unilateral decision in punishing your son? Why didn't he contact you first?
Wow hope they don’t allow t around children….
And I bet if OP flipped the script and said that this means she can punish his kids, he would try to bs a “reason” why she can’t. I’m glad she dumped him and if any friends try to harp that OP was the AH, she can inform them he’s free if they want him
@tnewman6967 he's pointing out the BF being a hypocrite
Yeah, the boyfriend sounded like he is about to say "We should be united in what I want to do and must compromise in what makes sense to me"
@@melrobertson2743 Bf shouldn’t be allowed too this was far to abusive. I replied to them because he said he is right but it’s wrong.
No one who parents this much differently from you should be making any decisions about your children not even in cooperation with you that is just not OK. Why say someone who openly and audaciously abuses other but speaks the opposite is just plain ole WRONG if you think her B$&@! BF is Right 🤷🏾♀️….
Last story: it might be a vocabulary issue, but aren't boxers just underwear? I wouldn't let a child go out in underwear even if it was "stupid teenager stuff"
That’s what I was thinking. Boxers are not loungewear where I am from. I’m waiting for the inevitable story where OP is YTA for not letting his teen daughter assless underwear to the mall.
Omg my gen X mind went there too people are actually calling op the ahole for not wanting his step daughter walking around in men’s underwear
Yeah. Letting a teen walk around in underwear is not doing them a favor at all. Smh
@babybookworm003 I'm in the oldest Gen Z if that reassures you, but I'm not in the US
There is a fashion trend BUT it’s the same way whale tails and rolling the top of shorts to be booty shorts was. You wear contrasting undies and either have a whale tail or darker undies and light boxers. Or no undies at all and pop the top button on some boxers to show off below the naval. It’s a trend to copy a TikTok artist who went to OF. I like to do that at home for my partner, not in public but I’m almost 30.
My friends teen daughter tried this and found out that the school will expel you over this if a guy pours water on pale boxers. She had to reverse uno admin but only because they tried to solely blame her daughter vs the boy who recorded it with a confession and posted it online 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻
Story one. Bf isn't even the kid's stepdad. The man is REPLACEABLE. The fact he thought he can go on a power trip over children that arent even his stepchildren is wild
hell, they weren't even living together full time yet.
Vera may be on the spectrum
@teresajohnson6157 and? Not an excuse and I'm tired of people using it as one for crap behavior
A perfect example of why you should never ever date single m0thers. There is zero benefit. Don't turn another m4ns trash into treasure boys. Have fun with your cats and boxed wine.
@teresajohnson6157 phoney with the spectrum. Show me one kid who doesn't get excited at the prospect of a water park. I wouldn't put it past the boyfriend to have exaggerated or made the whole thing up.
Story 1: I'm standing up and applauding and cheering OP. Well done, Mama Bear.
And those kids are likely proud of her too. I’m betting OPs other child was getting threatened by the bf to act right or he’ll do to him what he did to his sibling
Except she threw his stuff out to the public without warning and she will be legally responsible for any items missing or damaged. That’s the only stupid thing she did. Other than that good on her.
@@jimdob6528 came to say this. Everything up until she threw out all his stuff and left it to be picked through. If guy calls the cops it probably won't end well.
I'm absolutely with you listening to this first thing in the morning is a good start to my day
It is really lovely to hear a parent chooses their child over their romantic partner. OP’s children know that their mom has their back and is going to protect them first.
I'm Mexican and we usually have a butt load of kids, but we always teach them not to grab other people's things. I don't get why that dude is complaining about his sister,the kid broke her laptop and he wants her to be sorry? Like wtf? Children aren't ferral to be grabbing stuff that is not theirs, teach your kids manners!!
Plus OP and his siblings probably (hopefully) teach their children that they don’t have to hug or kiss anyone if they don’t feel like it.
But they expect their sister to hug her nieces and nephews.
2nd story: teach your kids how to behave and tell them not to touch other peoples' things.
That ESH comment on the helpless FIL story is in fact, TA.
Story #1: NTA!! WAY TO GO MAMA BEAR!! That was his way of letting you know that he was in control. He was starting with your children and working his way up to you! I bet that if his son didn't put up his clothes he wouldn't have said anything.
Hat a bunch of cr@p. He wants to be a brat, he had consequences. This is why no dude should EVER date or live with or marry a single mother.
Imagine being such a pathetic man that you need to engage in power struggles with an 8yo.
story 3 wow those parents have just guaranteed that the OP will never want to have a relationship with his sister
And guarantee that he’ll bail on them the moment he turns 18. That is unless he’s able to stay with another relative before then. Doubt the parents would be on board even though they view him as a financial obligation rather than their child.
I was wondering the same thing as one of the comments in the video. The OP might have been adopted from infancy, possibly even from family (like a teenage pregnancy the teenaged couldn't care for or even a family friend's). Either that, or the parents always wanted a girl and never wanted a boy.
My father in law is in his early 80's and he can cook and clean the house just fine. No excuses.
Even traditional men were able to fix themselves something to eat when they lived alone. Treating someone like servants is how someone who thinks they own someone acts. This is not appropriate behavior for an adult.
My sisters husband is exactly like fil, he does nothing around the house as he is retired and sister still works. He used to go to work and nothing else, not even in the garden or diy. I honestly don’t think he will survive if my sister goes first. I hate how she lets him treat her but nothing changes over the years. OP and Hubby NTA, sister in law and extended family definitely AH’s
RE: Punishment and United Front
You need to support me and show a united front when I make a unilateral decision without your input that goes against the plans you made.
OP was NTA, and was Exactly Right in doing as she did.
Go Mama Bear.
Is everyone overlooking the fact the dude just left a kid home alone for no reason?
@@kittikats he left the kid with the grandmother who also lives there
@@jtmarshallwho is d.
No OP doesn’t hate the new baby
He’s probably not too fond of the parents.
Save the blankie!!!
If anything he probably feels indifference.
makes you wonder how long until they expect him to be a 'big brother aka helping care for the baby' because infanthood was not as great as they remember
If anything he hates the parents for expecting him to to forfeit what he holds dear for their selfish reasons. Mom should give the baby her blanket since they’re expecting a daughter. We know she won’t for the same reasons OP doesn’t want to sacrifice his. I’m curious about OPs blanket since not only was it the last made by great grandmother, he said it was very intricate. I wonder if they’re jealous of how nice it looks? I really wonder why they kept trying to take it away from him many times before?
I responded on this in reddit for parents saying "I'd really like a baby blanket for new kid"
"And I'd like parents that loved me. I guess it's a fair trade"
Story 3: oh thank god he was smart and his the blanket. These parents genuinely sound emotionally neglectful.
Story 3: OP is not the A-hole. Parents are HUGE A-HOLES. He doesn't have to give his belongings to a younger sibling.
when my nephews were younger my mom asked if they could have some of the stuffed animals I had to play with, I gave the okay for the normal plushy toys but Lammy which is a knitted lamb my grandma gave me was off-limits she respected that no questions asked. i still have him lol
My heart breaks for OP. His parents suck. It makes you just want to yell at the parents to tell them to leave OP alone and his blanket is his NOT theirs or the new baby.
Wow. Hearing someone call a 47 year old an “old man” kinda hurt my 41 year old soul.
The comment said "older man" not old lol, the context of the age difference shows that the comment wasn't calling OP old, just "older" than the kid lol you're all good 😊
I have 7 nieces and nephews who are older than this guy, and I'm only 58
"The kids need to see us working as a team." And yet he didn't work as a team when he told OP's son to do something she hadn't asked him to do and then punish him without saying anything to OP. You go Mama Bear!
Translation: "The kids need to see me leading and you following and not questioning my decisions in front of them so they know I'm the boss."
Good thing she got the hell out of there. Her kids will be just fine. It makes me wonder if this crap is why he's a single dad, too.
Translation- he gets all the responsibility and none of the authority. He’s better off. Why should he raise some other dudes kids? They’re already disrespectful, who wants that? Single mothers are a no go for men because of things like this. Kid was a brat, consequences ensue and everyone gets mad. Men create stability and discipline.
@@dcg590 Take your sexist bs else where. None of that had anything to do with the story.
@@dcg590what a ridiculous comment plebeian. They were moving into HER HOME and he took it upon himself to punish HER CHILD and leave him home? He can raise his kids all alone and be the master of his home by himself. Comments like this and then men wonder why choose bears...every. single.time.
OP doesnt need his ass.
The blanket one, theyre selfish, so selfish, he should cut contact with them when he can, they arent even his parents at this point when all they worried over was having a new kid.
Story 1: nope. NTA. Like op said, he didn’t discuss ANYTHING about disciplining her children without her present nor about leaving them behind before she met up with them. Op did right
Story 2: YTA. Op and the siblings tried it.
Story 3: NTA. It’s time to get the extended family involved again. And now that op is an adult, it’s time to cut all ties with them.
Story 4: NTA. If Lizzie wants to keep her dad set in his ways, then that’s her problem. Not OP’s. Not OP’s husband
Last Story: from a bystanders perspective if I saw a teen girl walking around town in boxer shorts , I’d be 90% sure Chris Hansen would magically appear if I did so much as look that direction.
LAST STORY CLARIFYING IT WAS BOXER SHORTS 🩳 NOT BOXER UNDERWEAR 🩲!!!!!!!!! THERE ARE BOXER UNDERWEAR FOR WOMAN & MEN!! BUT THATS NOT WHAT SHE WAS WEARING OUT!!!! IT WAS COMFORTABLE SHORTS!!! I am adding this to all the comments acking as if she’s half naked!
@@l.clairevisto8210 what are u talking about I looked up the story OP had no additional comments and he seemed to separate lounge shorts and Boxer shorts which means they might be more underwear like. He says she could have gone out in the other lounge shorts. I think you need to look up what boxer shorts are before u try to blanket defend someone without any details.
@@l.clairevisto8210 All the online stores I've seen, who are selling boxers shorts for women, advertise them as underwear and sports wear. Multi functional clothing. It is underwear, that can also be used as shorts.
If I saw a teen girl walking around in boxer shorts I doubt I'd even notice. Maybe stop looking at teen girls' butts?
Stop with this lie jfc@@l.clairevisto8210
for no2. I feel a solid connection with that sister. I was the quiet one in the family, i'd rather read a book or study than interact. being in the room was good enough for me to be with my family but it wasn't enough for them. i was bullied and verbally abused for being the 'black sheep' for not interacting how they expected of me. i've not seen my family in over 10 years now. i do miss them sometimes but not worth it.
I loved how they accused her of not acting like part of the family, when has kids, they also did not act like she was part of the family 😂
Yeah the whole family dynamic is nuts. She was the black sheep in their youth and she's the black sheep now; the only difference is now there's a new generation to help solidify that idea. OP thinks she needs to do everything to fit in with them, but they never made an effort to really understand her or include her, too, especially when young. Also, how is someone who was mostly alone in their childhoods (by these very siblings now complaining about her behavior) suddenly supposed to be all extroverted and happy about handling kids they have little experience with, let alone the parents who ignored for in the first place?
I'm sorrry that You had to go through this :( I hope You're doing better now.
As for the story: I agree with all commenters that OP is an AH, but I also think that the sister taking out a laptop to work during a family gathering is also rude. But that's the only thing I would say she did wrong in this situation.
@@0PersonaNonGrata00 I get what you're saying, but how many people nowadays sit on their phone scrolling Instagram or something else whilst in the room, is it any different than that? it's interesting how much I see on both sides of the spectrum, that some people can sit together in silence and others can't and have to fill the silence with something.
@@blindbrad4719Everyone tells the introvert to get out of their comfort zone and socialize; but, no one tells the extroverts to shut up to make the area more comfortable for them to socialize.
I physically can not stand being in crowded areas, but I force myself to go to family parties because I love my family. My family also finally accepted that I sometimes need to go outside to destress so I can come back in with everyone.
Tell them he's a grown ass man. And at 70 tires old it's time for him to start acting like it. You know what they say it's never too old to show an old dog a new trick.
Especially on their social media where they are making passive aggressive comments towards OP and spouse. The guy made is dying wife wait on him hand and foot when it should’ve been the other way around. Screw him and anyone condoning his selfishness!
The last commenter was way off base. OP actually came up with a very reasonable plan: give him a cookbook to teach him how to cook. Problem solved.
@@GeorgieB1965a man that old fashioned only needs the Classic Food Groups:
Beans, Bacon, Whiskey, and Lard. Anything else and he's being spoiled, the kind of weak willed, emotionally fragile think of soy boy vegans that he probably rails against
The kids should have been properly supervised. I dont blame vera. She has no reason to babysit your children.
Story 2: Bet the sister is just glad the OP and other entitled parent siblings saved her the hassle of trying to cut her off as a power play so she could play the uno reverse card and cut them off.
And I bet they’ll be extra pissed in the near future for birthdays or the holidays when her funds aren’t available for gifts
OP and the siblings with kids: "HOW DARE YOU NOT LOVE OUR KIDS AND HAVE BOUNDARIES AROUND THEM! WHY SHOULD WE PAY FOR THINGS OUR CHILDREN BREAK!"
Seriously, it sounds like they never had a great relationship from the start, the sister is likely 100% child free, and the OP and the rest of the siblings can't understand how anyone could not adore their children.
My one question about this story is this: Who in their right mind thinks it's a good idea to bring a work computer to a place where young/ energetic children are present? People can spill drinks, knock things over, etc. when lots of people gather. It's a recipe for disaster and shows a lack of foresight & common sense on the sister's part.
The sister was right to cut contact with her entitled siblings when they iced her out of family events, and that list of grievances was overall ridiculous. But honestly - if you're so busy with work that you can't leave the computer at home for the duration of a family event, then maybe you should say "Sorry, I have work and can't make it this time" in response to the invitation.
@@redacted8005 my guess is that maybe she thought if she was preoccupied, no one would force her to mingle. The family may also not have taken “ I have work to do so I can’t make it” as an excuse
@@redacted8005 It could also be an all day / evening family thing (or even a whole weekend thing) and the sister needed to do some work for a little while, like a short video meeting or sending off some emails. Not ideal, obviously, but certainly possible.
It also can depend on where the laptop was when the kid got it. If it was left on a low table, or near where the kids are playing then it's more on the sister. If it had been in its bag in the coat room (or where ever they were keeping personal things like that) and the kid went and took it out or the sister had it in a side room to work for a bit it's more on the kid and their parents.
"No, this is my blanket."
I don’t know if boxers have a different connotation in Europe or something but in America boxers are men’s underwear. I’m 25 and saw a girl around 18 wearing the same boxers I was as gym shorts. It was weird and uncomfortable
I thought 'girl boxers' meant: booty shorts, barely covering the cheeks shorts, Rocky/Creed shorts, briefs are longer than boxers shorts, or bloomers.
I'm not saying that girls don't have the right to wear what they want, and they shouldn't with about guys bring creeps.
BUT, the more you stand out inappropriately, the more bad people are going to be attracted to you.
"Cold" sister story: YTA and to piggy back on the comments, OP said she should, "act like family," despite the fact that he spent the first part of this post talking about how he and all his siblings basically ignored her growing up.
She has been acting exactly like the family she was trained to be...
Exactly. She keeps to herself because no one wanted to listen or engage with her. It was/is her normal.
Never have I seen a teen wearing boxers outside 😂😂😂😂😂
I am currently a teen girl and I would judge.
Thank you for giving your input and perspective as a teen girl. I'm 47, not a parent, and I was like "Is it really the style now/not going to get you made fun of to wear boxers as shorts out in public?" I mean, I stare when I see people wearing lounge pants/pajamas out in public, but I thought it was just how I was raised to only wear that stuff at home, so I could be being too judgemental or something.
Nta, ex is not a parent!! Stick to your guns!! It's absolutely insane that he thought he could discipline your kid without talking to you!! Big man picking on an 8yr old!!
I'm 56M and I still cherish the blanket my grandmother knitted for me. OP's parents are horrible people.
"She's a teenager girl, and you're an old man. She doesn't need your fashion opinions." I've seen what people wear these days; they need all the opinions they can get. And don't go out in your underwear alone is advice for everybody, not just women. Redditors sometimes only see what they want to see.
Wow. OP sister does NOT have to cuddle and interact with the kids. Also, id want my money back for a broken laptop. I mean who was watching the child?😊
If the kid's mom can't afford it, the other siblings could have pitched in to replace the laptop, and she could pay them back in installments
@@nancyomalley6286 It at least should be offered to pay it off in installments! I couldn’t afford to replace it either but if my child broke it I’m going to be begging to make payments at least!
@@ZombiiDog Yeah, one way or another, the kid's mom needs to pay for the broken laptop. My idea would at least help Vera get a new laptop immediately with the siblings pitching in, and kid's mom pays the siblings back one month at a time
The last dad was right. No girl should just be wearing underwear out of the house.
Edited to add: actually no person should be wearing just undies out of the house.
LAST STORY CLARIFYING IT WAS BOXER SHORTS 🩳 NOT BOXER UNDERWEAR 🩲!!!!!!!!! THERE ARE BOXER UNDERWEAR FOR WOMAN & MEN!! BUT THATS NOT WHAT SHE WAS WEARING OUT!!!! IT WAS COMFORTABLE SHORTS!!! And yes no one should be wearing underwear only down there as decency and for safety to not catch any diseases!
What makes you think she wasn't wearing girls underwear underneath them?
@@blindbrad4719 you're pretty silly if you think that makes a difference.
Why should what label the clothing was marketed under matter more than how well it actually covers the essentials? Boxers cover more than booty shorts, and yet boxers are considered underwear and booty shorts aren't, so by your standard booty shorts are better than boxers. Ridiculous.
Well...not unless they wish to draw a LOT of unwanted attention.
When cleaning got to be too much for both my mom and dad, he hired cleaning ladies. He did the majority of the cooking - he was a fabulous cook, our family chef! I moved in the last two years to help. Mom passed. Dad still did the cooking until he was nearly 90, then I took over more and more of it, but under his supervision, because: Chef! I loved it and learned a great deal from him, he really was knowledgeable. Those last years with my folks were a gift, a blessing!
Story 1- so boyfriend doesn’t think “ I will talk to his mother later about this issue” but instead leaves op’s child behind at home. He doesn’t call her but lets her arrive to find her child missing from the group? He doesn’t think his actions are unjust, out of line, and over the top…. He does however think that OP is unjust, out of line, and over the top for ( ON HER OWN DECISION, no discussion) grabs her present son, drives home, packs his and his children’s things out of her home, AND BREAKS UP WITH HIM!…..
Boyfriend may be right. OP should have forgiven him and after a few more months and multiple red flag waving ,,,, finally understood he’s all wrong for her and her boys AND PACK HIS STUFF AND BREAKUP! Lol
Yeah, this is a 'one strike, you're out' thing. Bully to her kid so not welcome in the home. FO!
What wrong with not being kid oriented, why does being a family include interacting with kids? That does not seem like a reason to distance family since everyone is different. If Vera wants to be child free then that’s on her.
This. OP basically admits Vera isn't being rude or mean towards the kids at ALL; of anything, she just seems so AWKWARD about being around kids versus trying to be mean about it. Even the not babysitting could be due to not knowing how to handle them. I mean, I like Llamas; but that doesn't mean I'd look after one by myself, namely because I just don't know how to handle them.
Last story: Yeah, it's all fun and games until she comes home crying, telling her mom and OP that someone groped her or worse.
I'm all for doing what you want, but unless there is some kind of misunderstanding boxers for me are underwear or at the very least not something you'd go out with in public.
Another thing to keep in mind, no matter where you are in life or what you're going to do is: Just because you could doesn't mean you should.
Not even gonna touch on what things could come out of a situation like this where she walks around in the mall, some older guy stares at her for a second too long and she's like "Oh no, this perv was staring at me" and all that while everything that was on his mind was "What the hell is she doing/wearing?"
Last story: Boxers are underwear right or is this a terminology that differs by country? The girl is going out wearing underwear regardless of what gender it's for. Best case scenario people think she's homeless and scavenging clothes to wear.
LAST STORY CLARIFYING IT WAS BOXER SHORTS 🩳 NOT BOXER UNDERWEAR 🩲!!!!!!!!! THERE ARE BOXER UNDERWEAR FOR WOMAN & MEN!! BUT THATS NOT WHAT SHE WAS WEARING OUT!!!! IT WAS COMFORTABLE SHORTS!!! I see so many don’t know basic cloths here. And it’s driving me up the wall! 😫
@@l.clairevisto8210For crying out loud, don't yell. And boxer shorts ARE boxer underwear. It's what they're called.
@@l.clairevisto8210boxer shorts are underwear...., they are used as underwear for men
@@l.clairevisto8210that's underwear. You're confusing that with shorts that actual boxer/fighters wear. She is not wearing those. If she were then there would be no complaint
@@l.clairevisto8210 , @NODE1975 I looked up boxer shorts women. The they are advertised as being usable as underwear and sports shorts at the same time. You are both right/wrong. This is a fashion thing, where women take underwear and use it as normal clothing.
In The last story did everybody just miss how she's wearing men's underwear on the outside? Really it doesn't matter men's or women's we all have kind of agreed as a society that underwear go on the inside
And people are talking about teen fashion. No undergarments are not fashion. They may be pretty and cool looking but thats for the person wearing them to feel good about themselves and have fun. No one should be wearing underclothing as clothing no matter whats between the legs. Besides they have bike shorts that are boxer style but with the added detail of making them look and function like outerwear. Fabletics makes some great ones.
I was also a bit bothered by that. Though I'm not certain if these are actually boxers or if the OP is just calling them boxers.
In either case, I'd think the conversation with his wife should be not the things he said but that "It is inappropriate to wear underwear as outerwear, and I do not want CPS called on us or people we know seeing her wearing only half an outfit."
The fact that this was not the conversation that was had, though, makes me wonder if they're not actually boxers.
@@jenniferhanses next time OP is taking his wife out he should come downstairs in a pair of bloomers
@vaseline69 nah he should wear a full thong and nipple tassels.
I had to pause and double check that's what was happening because at first I thought she was just wearing them as underwear, but from the sounds of it she's walking around wearing them like they're just normal every day shorts, which in that case it is weird.
Story 2…. You got exactly what you wanted, your sister out of the family. I hope none of your children have this happen to them if they are a little different than the other siblings.
You taught them to do this.
Story 4: I'm 76. When I was eight my parents (both Mom and Dad) started teaching me to cook, do laundry, iron a shirt, and do other household chores. I do not feel it "woman's work" that I can sew a button back on a shirt or clean a toilet. Paul is TAH.
So's that ESH comment tbh
Do they even like the sister?
The sister does not like children.
Story #2 Vera is on the spectrum and held her boundaries. Good for her.
My fil was the same. We set up a cleaning service. & Ordered frozen meal deliveries .. via his account. and let him work it out with the microwave. No need for all the sacrifice.
Story 2: Yeah, OP sounds envious/jealous of his child-free sister and like he expected her as the child-free sibling to be a free babysitter. Also the backhanded compliment of saying "good for him" when her boyfriend got a vasectomy.
Oh most definitely. The whole first part can be boiled down to "It's not fair my sister gets paid a lot of money that she can spend entirely on her and her bf and they never have to worry about kids using up all their time and money. "
Boxers NTA: Boxers are not shorts, they're underwear. It's ok for her to wear boxers as underwear, but not as her pants out in public. Totally inappropriate. The comment calling this "a fashion mistake" is bonkers.
FIL story: NTA. The contrarian with the "esh" is definitely making logical leaps here. Telling the man to "put on his big boy pants" is hardly an insult, and hardly a low blow. It's the damn truth. And "healthy relationship"? To that I say, "What relationship?" Lol, OP essentially has none with FIL. And OP *did* stop engaging, with hubby's help lol. Lord.
Story 2. YTA. You're kidding with this bullshit right. You pay for the things your kids break, period. You're also clearly viciously jealous of your sister.
She's not "over confident", based on her successful career she is DESERVEDLY confident. Her confidence is an accurate assessment of her own abilities. She also shouldn't be obligated to pick up your toddlers in her arms just bc they want her to. Being angry your kids have no personal boundaries and broke her stuff is not "not behaving like a family member." You're salty she's rich and successful and you're not.
The fact she cut you off so quick after this incident tells me that it wasn't the first time.
Story 2: autism. What’s up with OP’s sister is that she’s autistic.
A savant specializing in management, being quiet, not enjoying to the loud and rowdy nature kids have, being “a bit much” about how much she can talk when she gets going…
As an autistic man, I absolutely recognize someone else with it. While she wouldn’t express it the same way, she is still absolutely capable of loving her siblings. And rather than being straightforward with their grievances, OP and the other siblings ostracized her from the family to try to make the sister take the hint, when hints don’t work so good.
OP and their siblings aside from this sister are horrible.
Siblings hates sister
YTA
It sounds like she's on the spectrum she was still active but not up to y'all standards of affection.....
Yep. Agreed.
I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking she's on the spectrum. OP and his other siblings suck
She didn't sound like she's on the spectrum, she just sounds like a regular introvert. Kids are a choice, and most kids are disgusting and annoying, which is why the best part of dealing with someone else's snot goblin is that you can give them back to their parents and not have to deal with that responsibility. If anything, OP and his extrovert siblings aren't making an effort to shut up, calm down, and make time with their sister.
Boxer shorts and pjs are called WalMart wear in some circles because so many wear it there.
S2: It says that the sister brought her laptop to do some work. So how did the child get the laptop? It's never mentioned how.
S3: NTA. With how the parents have been acting and now this, the parents are the idiots. That is OP's blanket!
Last story: She's wearing UNDERWEAR outside and somehow OP is the AH!? Huh!? Am I missing something? How is wearing underwear OUTSIDE okay? For anybody, let alone a teen girl? OP simply pointed out the OBVIOUS!
NTA
LAST STORY CLARIFYING IT WAS BOXER SHORTS 🩳 NOT BOXER UNDERWEAR 🩲!!!!!!!!! THERE ARE BOXER UNDERWEAR FOR WOMAN & MEN!! BUT THATS NOT WHAT SHE WAS WEARING OUT!!!! IT WAS COMFORTABLE SHORTS!!! Since many aren’t educated on clothing I am putting this on every comment that doesn’t know.
@@l.clairevisto8210No such thing as boxer underwear, they are called boxer shorts.
Just because you are so insistent, doesn't mean you are right.
If you can use Google, you will see that "boxer shorts" are underwear, and occasionally PJs.
@@l.clairevisto8210 Calm down, All-Caps boomer. Boxer shorts ARE underwear in British English AND US English. The long form shorts boxers wear are boxing shorts.
@@l.clairevisto8210 she was wearing underwear!!!
@@l.clairevisto8210you're the one uneducated on clothing. Boxers/boxer shorts/boxer briefs are all underwear! They are NOT sports wear or shorts to do boxing in! You and the other people who don't understand that need to learn the difference.
About the successful sister, the funny thing about misogyny is had the roles been reversed and the brother was successful and the sister told him off for being cold to the nephews and nieces, he would still be a misogynist for being a successful man who’s doesn’t care about his extended family. 😂
For the old man who can't cook: can you not use a microwave? Just keep pressing that 30 seconds until it gets hot enough. Do you need something healthy well there's like meal plans with frozen meals that he just has to heat up. This whole idea that men do not cook is f****** ridiculous. Men have cooked throughout time. What the f*** do you think the hunters did or soldiers did when they needed food, they cooked.
My grandpa was born in 42 and still learned to cook and clean for himself. He wasn't exactly a chef but he made the best spaghetti and I miss his cooking. Age doesn't excuse sexism, racism or homophobia (my grandpa was also an ally).
Story 2: I KNEW this was going to boil down to “my sister has more money than me so we shouldn’t have to repay ANYTHING we break”
YTA Op, i guarantee your sister is happy to get away from your entitled ass
3: OP's parents want a "baby", not a "child". They will do the same thing to baby sister once she is old enough to have her own opinions and say "No." to them.
OP should get them a baby doll that never grows up
My son is 38 and still has his blanket his Oma gave him💜 It is put away so it doesn't fall apart😎🐾💜
Girl can go out in public wearing boxers but a boy must pull up his pants. It’s all about fashion is it?😂
story 2 so the OP bullied her sister when she was a child, and now wants to bully her as an adult
Story 3: NTA. But I hope they don't neglect the new baby once she's not a baby anymore
Back in the late 80’s we wore boxer shorts and tank tops during the summer and during volleyball and basketball practice. It’s no big deal. We would sew the opening on the front closed and wore underpants under the. They were almost like regular shorts.
Yeah we did that in the 90s too. I had a great pair covered in parrots.
For the story about the 70 year old man child the person telling op she’s responsible for figuring this out can kick rocks. The husband’s family aren’t being responsible so op isn’t obligated to coddle any of them. And paying for a meal service? Those are expensive and father in law isn’t even worth ordering a pizza for since he’s so rude and ungrateful.
I really doubt that the other kids also had to earn their way to the water park. He's being ridiculous and he did this behind your back rather than call you and ask what an appropriate punishment would be. Trust gone
I would say to them you know all my life you've made me feel insignificant. Like I was never enough or if any importance. Now you want to steal the last thing that I have to connect me to my great-grandmother. Was I adopted. Is that why I was so insignificant to you guys. They haven't said Mom give her your blanket.
I'm always so baffled by adults who think they get to "teach other adults a lesson". Like who do you think you are? If they didn't ask for instruction & you aren't their parent or law enforcement or something, mind your business.
Than maybe said adults shuld act more civilized people instead of oversized bullies, no one should be forced to put up with that either.
@@Digitalfairy Then don't? Walk away like the grown adult you claim to be. Trying to teach another adult a lesson they didn't ask for from you is always going to end badly & then there are 2 fools in the room instead of just one.
Last story: She is wearing male underwear outside, it is inappropriate and should be addresses, but you don't need to call her stupid or say she looks stupid.
I agree. Saying it made her look stupid was the wrong way to go about it. Explaining that maybe wearing something that is considered underwear shouldn't be worn in public because it's basically the same as going out in panties would have been a little better.
I was on his side until he got hateful with his words.
Lol
@lorilancaster5917 He said it looked stupid. If that's hateful, then I'd hate to see how folks would react if he actually did say something hateful.
She’s wearing boxers shorts not boxer underwear those are two separate things. I hate seeing to many uneducated in cloths saying omg she’s wearing underwear out she’s NOT. and there are 2 kinds of boxer underwear men and woman! And it’s the best recommendation for females to wear for comfort and protection! AGAIN ITS SHORTS 🩳 NOT UNDERWEAR SHES WEARING!!!
This is the problem with many step fathers (Even if he's the boyfriend) that no one is allowed to discipline her child even if it's needed. Should he have advised her of this. Yep but if she's the only one allowed to punish this child then make sure the child isn't misbehaving
The child didn’t misbehave though. That’s the point.
If there is communication, a step parent can punish their step child if its also a reasonable reaction.
You know, the same thing bio parents do. Communicate with eachother as to how they should punish their kid. Not make a choice without the others involvement
A while back, when I was late 20’s, saw a girl wearing the weirdest pair of jeans I’d ever seen. She couldn’t have been much older than 14ish.
The jeans had one leg cut off to little more than daisy duke length, and one leg full length.
My first thought was “what the hell is that kid wearing?” Followed immediately by “did I really just think that?”
It wasn’t that long ago that what I wore seemed to be weird to adults. Anyone remember JNKOs?
she probably saw a Calvin Klein ad.
Boxers: I'm sorry but what?! No, it's not "fashion" to wear UNDERWEAR in public!
Story 1 - OP NTA and what he really meant about being a "united front" was, "I make the decisions, and YOU should follow because I AM the man, and you have no say, even though they are YOUR kids". Your boy got punished for NOTHING. YOU didn't ask HIM to put his clothes away because YOU did it for him. How is this YOUR son being entitled and/and or a defiant child? OP good on you for finally seeing the red flags and NOT falling for his BS. Also, good on you for putting YOUR kids first. Good job mamma!
Story 2 - OP YTA - So let me get this straight, you are ALL judging your sister because she has her crap together and doesn't want to kiss your brood of children's behinds? She is NOT being mean to any of the kids, so what is the problem? It seems that the REAL problems here is that you are ALL jealous that she has her crap together. Having kids doesn't NOT make ANY of you better/superior to her. With that being said, when you have kids, as "parents" you are responsible for ANYTHING that your kids break by accident or not. Your sister being a "single" mother and on "welfare" makes NO difference, she was responsible for HER kid's behavior. At the end of the day, it seems that you ALL finally did your sister a favor by not inviting her since she won't have to put up with whatever circus those "family" gathering really were.
Story 3 - OP NTA and what you can tell your mother when she starts with her "how can you look at yourself in the mirror knowing I don't want to share this with her and is like you don't want her to exist BS", your response should be, Mom, Dad, if there is ANYTHING YOU learned from THEM is that having a kid means crap. I mean, look at YOUR so-called parenting, I practically raised MYSELF because I was NOT good enough and/or worth your time. If you want your "new" baby to have her own blanket, how about ONE OF YOU learn how to make one and your "problem" is solved. I will NOT be giving away something that is MINE and was MADE FOR ME, just because YOUR BOTH AHS think that the "new" baby more deserving. Also, save the Pikachu face and the "I don't understand why our oldest kid want nothing to do with us and especially his "new" baby sister" once you are out of there. RME!
Story 4 - OP NTA - Not your circus, NOT your monkeys. What your SIL and Lizzie need to do is HIRE someone to come to cook and clean for the entitled AH. They can save the "he is a traditionalist BS" for someone who cares. All that means is that your FIL is a MYSOGINISTIC AH. It is HORRENDOUS that your MIL had to cook and clean for the AH while sick and dying from cancer. YUCK! At least the poor woman is FINALLY now at peace.
S1: NTA So glad OP broke up with him.
Last story: Am I missing something here? Last time I checked, boxers are a type of underwear, same as briefs, boxer-briefs, or panties.
So it’s teen fashion now to literally be running around in your underwear? _Huh??_
LAST STORY CLARIFYING IT WAS BOXER SHORTS 🩳 NOT BOXER UNDERWEAR 🩲!!!!!!!!! THERE ARE BOXER UNDERWEAR FOR WOMAN & MEN!! BUT THATS NOT WHAT SHE WAS WEARING OUT!!!! IT WAS COMFORTABLE SHORTS!!!
No not underwear, it would be just called "boxers" or "boxer briefs" if they were, boxer shorts is a style of shorts, not undergarment.
Story 1. You not the idiot. Stand your ground op.
For story 3 nta. I think the parents just wanted a daughter not a son. Sadly that happens a lot
Story 2: Also, the sooner kids learn that not every adult has to adore them, the better.
Same with bullies regardless of age or whatever else, hey sooner they learn they can't push everyone around the better.
The last story: are boxers some kind of shorts? Cause really though they were only underwear. So ether its her wearing wearing shorts, completely fine or the mom/ comments are cool with her only wearing underwear?
Yeah, gym shorts =/= boxers, the former is appropriate in casual settings, the latter isn't, even if they're kinda similar to booty shorts.
Every time I hear a story about a grandmother making something for all the grandkids, I always wonder: why don't YOU make a blanket for your own kid? I get it, some people don't have time. But don't go stealing your kids' treasured mementos. And even if the blanket "looks bad", a lot of kids don't care about it because mommy or daddy made it.
Story 1 nta on dumping him but if any of his stuff gets taken he can sue you for it and will probably win in court. That’s the only stupid decision.
With the blanket story, I wouldn't be suprised if it was actually that OP was a boy. I've seen quite a few parents who think that boys don't "count" as babies past about one or two, but girls stay their babies forever. From what Op said, they tried to take his baby blanket from him a lot growing up, so I would assume they decided he was too old for it.
Nta. Why did he leave a young child at home? Bf definitely was on a power trip. I bet his kids aren't perfect little angels either. Good job leaving him. Bc he will just get worse.
For the boxers: is she wearing just them without anything underneath? What about the hole? Are these women boxers (I personally have many cheap and expensive pairs myself. No, I wouldn’t wear them outside the fabric is either too thin, fragile, or see-through.) Or are these men’s boxers?
I’m in my late 30s and my teens wouldn’t be wearing underwear as clothes.
Story 2: OP is an AH. Sis didn't like kids, even when she was one. OP just can't wrap his head around the fact that not all women have motherly instincts or inclinations. He doesn't understand the very simple concept that if your kids break something you're obligated to pay for it. Your poor financial situation doesn't negate your responsibility in paying for damages your child causes. OP doesn't like that Sis doesn't want to be his unpaid babysitter. Tbh, I wouldn't want to go to family gatherings if this was the kind of people I'd have to deal with.
Last story. While i agree that, ultimately, it is not OPs business what someone else wears, i do wonder ho many of tge commenters berating him are hypocrites. How many would do the exact same thing to a partner, parent or sibling if they wore something they found embarrassing? How many mental gymnastics would they execute to justify their actions?
Story #4: I wouldn't cook for a man that made his wife cook while she was dying of cancer! They should have made him sign up for Meals on Wheels!
What a horrible thing to do to those poor kids. The boyfriend is being a bully.
HIS MASK SLIPPED. He has no right to punish without consulting you. That should not have been a surprise for you. RUN
Overconfident? Great paying job, respected in business, child free. NOT HER JOB to watch your demons or raise them to not touch things that don't belong to them. JEALOUS & PETTY.
They caused you trauma w their baby hang up. So sorry.😢 Gray rock or no contact. Horrible people. Ask close relative about possible adoption.
I wouldn't help if his own child won't help out. Frozen dinners are fine. Enjoy your space.
Back off of her clothes. So stupid of you. You were told to MYOB.
Story 1... boy friends ,not step father .. so no authority over the son
Can someone explain to me where the misogyny in the Vera story is? The brother is shitty, without doubt, his family is just jealous and the woman sounds “gifted”
In the autistic without a diagnosis way. However, there were 0 statements that even came close to misogyny, in fact he said he didn’t want her to babysit, that’s like the opposite? Right? He just ignorantly wanted her to stop being autistic and relate to kids in a way she doesn’t or can’t do, that’s ableist not misogynist, but Reddit basically says, “man saying bad thing about woman? Misogyny” when actually, it’s just bad in a different way.
Its also misogynistic because OP doesn’t allow a woman her bodily autonomy. Means in his view she isn’t allowed to make the decision to not cuddle the kids and has to do whatever they want. Also OP is hung up about the fact his sis is childfree and makes nasty comments about that.
@@Falco2Itachi the entire story was him ranting about her being “weird and gifted” ie autistic. Her refusing contact with children is a symptom of that, the entire story read as if he hated her for being autistic. The stuff about her being child free had nothing to do with being a woman, it was 100% him saying, “yeah she’s so smart but she can’t even function normally, hahaha, I’m a family man.” That’s ableism and offensive, but again is not misogyny. You’re stretching to call it misogyny when it’s actually just clearly ableism and offensive. The stuff about her not having a family or being good with kids had nothing to do with being a girl, it had everything to do with him being jealous of her success, and hating her being autistic. He views her as different and gifted, that she doesn’t deserve her success, so when she has symptoms of her being different that he can point to as negative he jumps at them. That’s all it is.
He wants her to watch the kids "for 15 minutes ". That's literally babysitting. He also has a huge problem with her boyfriend consulting her about business decisions. Yes, he dislikes her for being autistic but he also hates that she displays what are typically considered masculine traits.
I'd bet good money OP wouldn't expect his sister to babysit or give "uppies" and hugs if she were his brother.
The fact that she's a working woman with no kids and thus isn't following the "life script" of womanhood is misogyny.
OP is also ableist and a bully.
Story 1 ESH: The toxic single parent trope, its a classic on reddit. Both Op and the BF shouldn't be dating anyone if they are so territorial about their kids and rules.
Tell Lizzy you're a traditionalist Inuit, and ask if she wants your help building his final igloo.
Story 2: YTA. Quit with the family cult behavior. Forcing her to interact the way you want her to and thinking it's unreasonable for her to want her damaged property replaced is disgusting. Do better.
They’ve likely bullied her since she could remember by her being different and yet they expect her to play the part of child free aunt who likes to spoil her niblings? No and I bet OP left out that he and the other siblings like to hit her up for cash since she’s well to do.
you really think it's reasonable for a single mother on welfare to replace a laptop?
I have two kids, and I still don't like other people's kids crawling all over me. I'm not a jungle gym. If you want your kids to do "uppsies" do it yourself. And if your kid breaks something of mine, you're going to replace it. That's not debatable. It's happening.
Last story - does the word "boxers" have a different meaning in the US? Here in the UK, it only refers to a specific type of men's underwear, which would be extremely inappropriate for a teen to wear outside the home - high risk of something peeking out.
LAST STORY CLARIFYING IT WAS BOXER SHORTS 🩳 NOT BOXER UNDERWEAR 🩲!!!!!!!!! THERE ARE BOXER UNDERWEAR FOR WOMAN & MEN!! BUT THATS NOT WHAT SHE WAS WEARING OUT!!!! IT WAS COMFORTABLE SHORTS!!! It was not underwear it was comfortable shorts. Many seem to not know the different terms of boxer shorts 🩳 under boxer shorts. That also have male/female versions.
Means the same in the US. He was right to call her out.
Blanket: Sound like either adopted or an affair baby
"If it wasn't inappropriate i shouldnt say anything"
Wearing UNDERWEAR like they are PANTS is inappropriate
Sty1, Mama didn't wait around for more BS. She listened to her inner voice & did what she needed to do & moved that guy outta her life. That's a real Mom that loves her kids!
and a (or few, between this post and her last one was like 7 days difference) day later was back with him not wanting to give up on him and loving him so much. (yuck)
@@wolve2k seriously?
yep just sort newest first on the comments here.. i posted it the update some hours ago.
Story 3… regarding YOUR baby blanket.
Ask your mother if you could have her wedding ring because you want to give it to a future wife. See how she likes it.
Last story: Am I missing something here? A 16 year old girl is wearing boxers instead of pants, and somehow the OP is an AH for telling her that’s not okay? What? Does “Boxer shorts” mean something else where OP’s from?
I remember a time where leggings were considered underwear. It's the same with boxer shorts.
The boxers story -- as long as the fly stays closed, just let it go. I'm from a generation that wore dresses over jeans, it's not for me to comment on teen trends unless they actively hurt someone.
Wonder how OP would react if his stepdaughter went out in yoga pants or bicycle shorts and a tee?