As the daughter with a dad who cheated, her image of him is shattered. It takes 10 years not to want to kill them for doing what they did. My dad was a raging asshole with a mistress who hated me and my sister. The second tried to be our friend but we saw right through her. OP is depressed he didn’t come out the hero for rescuing a battered wife.
Maybe because the wife was cheating and the daughter tok the wifes side, but he still wanted to talk with his daughter. But again a stolen story that is over 5 years old and missing 5 updates
@@kennethsjvold9212 Not sure what story you're referring to, but this one is only a day old (as of this comment) and now has an update. I'll paste it here: UPDATE: Look, I was extremely drunk last night. The words which came out of my mouth weren’t the best, and my comments on my post weren’t great either. Seeing how everyone said I was the AH, I decided to call my daughter again an hour ago. I didn’t really expect her to pick up the call but she picked up immediately. I apologized for last night, and she said there was no need to apologize. I then sent her a link to this Reddit post on messages, and told her I know I was the AH, and thousands said so. She again said I wasn’t the AH. She started crying again. I told her she’s free to come to my house anytime the next 4 months, because after that I will be leaving the country with my sister and our dog. Our parents left us a nice farmhouse in their home country, and we will be spending the rest of our lives there. I sent her my address on messages, and my daughter said she’d come with her husband and her daughter by end of next week. She asked if she was welcome to stay there for multiple days, and I told her she could stay for however long she wanted, as our house was spacious enough.
Tickets She uninvited you from an event you already paid for (even if she gave the money back) why should she be shocked to be uninvited from another event? NTI.
@@fcold9402 and if she was really sorry she would reimburse OP for the amount the tickets would currently go for and not how much OP actually spent. This would show that she hopes OP could get another ticket.
I hope she canceled the hotel reservation. Good luck getting a last minute hotel reservation at a reasonable rate on short notice. But oh well, I’m sure the friend will understand.
The dude doesn't owe her a relationship but what kind of father speaks so highly of his affair partner but then writes like nothing for his daughter. Dude is TA. He's mad she didn't stay 'daddies girl' after he cheated.
Yup. He had the choice to be a good person and help the battered woman with just advice if he has a savior complex, but he chose to get his dick involved, meaning his interest was only selfish.
Maybe because the wife was cheating and the daughter tok the wifes side, but he still wanted to talk with his daughter. But again a stolen story that is over 5 years old and missing 5 updates
Story 2... One thing is for sure: People HATE it when they are confronted with evidence of their stupidity. As long as the wedding couple is happy OP has done their job.
I was reading that thinking, are these complete yokels? Who can't pause for a few seconds to take a picture? To do it over and over and then be surprised at the results is some room temperature IQ.
yeah, why would op care about the opinions of people who DIDN'T PAY for the pictures? And he obviously knew his family well for thinking to get proof of them mocking and ridiculing him while taking family photos.
S2: Nah, this is gold! And this is also one of the reasons why my late grandmother HATED taking pictures. Whenever one would be snapped of her with me or another family member, her mouth is open in a wide laugh or she's talking (I have a few examples snapped, and I love them).
Xo missed the update. A friend of his lives in the town where the mom and daughter live. He happened to see them in a diner, overhead what they were talking about. They did have a plan to take him for what he has. (He inherited an estate from parents) He confronted the daughter and she came clean. He is thinking of leaving his estate to his daughter.
First Story: I once read of an elderly couple (they'd married in their 20s), with one initiating a divorce (literally in their 90s), one having learned the other had had a brief affair a little over _65 years_ earlier...
It happens. For the cheater it's in the past. For the person who was cheated on it is fresh news. Also their whole life with that person is put into question.
He gave her thousands of second chances. Every day before then was a chance for her to make the right choice. She didn't. You shouldn't be allowed to have a phone. She made a choice to not contact him and now she wants something, he has to acquiesce like a good little sperm donor?
There's actually an update in which OP finds out ex-wife pressured daughter to get back in contact because OP now has a sizeable estate that he plans to leave to his sister. He's now wondering if he owes his daughter the money for blowing up her family.
But she wasn’t the mom told her to because she felt guilty. Sounds like she poisoned the kid more because she was angry at her ex. Understandable she was angry but the daughter isn’t the only who forgave op, she just listened to mommy. Also how would the kid know of op? Assuming she’s around 8, she would still have the fathers side or if they dead why mention that one person they likely never talk about? Not saying op wasn’t the as* for cheating, but he doesn’t owe the mom anything. The daughter was likely pushed to cut contact (why mom guilty) even if she was mad at him. That or mom feels guilty for something else
@socketyellow3 Well, from the looks of things, if she has a twelve-year-old daughter and they haven't seen each other in almost 2 decades. That means the divorce happened When the daughter was 16 or 17, at least in the moment she turned 18, which was a year after the divorce. What's the moment that the original poster wiped His hands clean and left the state. In addition, I don't think the mother poisoned her daughter. I think she let her anger take A minor part in how the Daughter was feeling in addition, and let's be real here. The mother knew that the daughter missed having a relationship but the daughter was so stuck on not going to seem like She's hurting her mom by warning her dad in her life. That the mom decided you need to call your dad and rebuild something with him Before it's too late, especially if the daughter of the original post has been talking to the granddaughter about him.
@@BIGEAGLEDUDE fair points, just her guilt makes me think she had a bigger involvement on keeping her away. Like possibly as you said the mom was openly hating on the dad (with good reason) and the kid felt like she was hurting her mom by staying in contact. D just don’t think mom would be that guilty if this was the case. Unless daughter told mom that’s why she split with op, but a lot of unknowns here
To the OP who got screwed by her friend with the tickets. If she already paid for the hotel, she should go to the hotel anyway, and use the refunded money for other activities in the area
When I was small, my father called me by the nickname to my name, say 'Jessie' (not my real name). I absolutely HATE the nickname. When I was 7, there was another girl in the neighborhood whose name was 'Jessie'. I thought this is a great opportunity, and said since she is Jessie, everybody can call me Jessica. That way there is no confusion. There are family members who still refuse to call me Jessica, but I never answer. Not because I am being rude, but because it isn't my name. It would be like calling me Carol, or Michele. I just don't hear it. No matter how much I ask them to call me by my real name, they don't. I don't get upset with them though, they are family and we love each other. It's a minor annoyance, nothing to get upset about. Having a sister that slept with my husband kind of put things in perspective for me. That's something to get upset about!
@@12XFixer My sister always wanted everything I had. She stole my clothes and jewelry when we were young. I divorced my husband for other reasons, but I found out later she had made moves on him until he gave in. Just the way she is. Even when we were little kids, she would smash my birthday cake or break stuff my toys.
"They don't get good pictures" maybe that's because they don't try to be in good pictures. Stop talking and looking around and just listen to the photographer. Nobody wants to wait for you 'to be ready' when that means finishing your conversation that could be had at and time.
For the first story, I honestly have to say yes and no. You are the reason why this happened and at the end of the day you do understand that. Your delivery could’ve been a lot better. and when it comes down to it, no one is allowed to cut you off and then expect to be able to jump back into your life like nothing happened. And that goes for people who are in the right and in the wrong.
S1. UPDATE: Look, I was extremely drunk last night. The words which came out of my mouth weren’t the best, and my comments on my post weren’t great either. Seeing how everyone said I was the AH, I decided to call my daughter again an hour ago. I didn’t really expect her to pick up the call but she picked up immediately. I apologized for last night, and she said there was no need to apologize. I then sent her a link to this Reddit post on messages, and told her I know I was the AH, and thousands said so. She again said I wasn’t the AH. She started crying again. I told her she’s free to come to my house anytime the next 4 months, because after that I will be leaving the country with my sister and our dog. Our parents left us a nice farmhouse in their home country, and we will be spending the rest of our lives there. I sent her my address on messages, and my daughter said she’d come with her husband and her daughter by end of next week. She asked if she was welcome to stay there for multiple days, and I told her she could stay for however long she wanted, as our house was spacious enough.
My brother is named Kim, which was a boy's name at the time. 2 years after he was born, Kimberly became a popular girls name. My brother tells people his name is Kim, he's a boy, so Kim is a boy's name.
@@susanyoung1600 My brother is also Kim. He made it through high school but the name was later mocked at his job so he started going by his middle name. He let us know and stopped responding to Kim.
This story topic is very common in my very large family, with lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins, as both my mother and father come from big families. A lot of the girls have “boy” names, including one of my own daughters. I have a cousin that named both her daughters boy names. One is Peyton and the other is Presley. My daughter’s name is Harley. Hubby wanted Harley Davidson, but I vetoed that. I wanted Haley Renee, so we compromised and named her Harley Renee. My brother’s granddaughter is named Charlotte, but nicknamed Charlie. I have a cousin that named his daughter Saylor.
Bleach story: I'd continue dating this man just for shits and giggles lmao. Suggest stupid things and get it done temporarily just for him to be petty again before breaking up lmaoooo
Story 1: ESH. OP's in the wrong for the affair, but he doesn't owe is daughter anything after years of silence from her. She hadn't spoken to him in nearly 20 years and the only reason she's making an attempt is because her mom asked her to. So OP has had 20 years to accept her dismissal of him and move on. I'd be wondering if the real reason she's looking to reconnect was less altruistic and more she needs funds for something and mommy can't provide it for her.
Exactly!!! The daughter wants something. She wants money for her or her daughter. Wants to be included in the inheritance. After 17 years she just had a "change of heart" after her mother suggested it (after alienating the father for 17 years)? I don't think so.
Concert story really bothers me, especially reading through the comments on the video. I don't see many on this story and at least one is like "they aren’t your tickets". Like, yes, they are not OP's tickets in that she has either personally. But she made an agreement with her friend that the friend would buy the tickets and OP would pay her for one of them. They had that agreement, even if it wasn't in writing. And by waiting until the last minute to change plans, the friend made it impossible for OP to buy another ticket to something she really wanted to go to, thus screwing her over. OP you don't have to sue the friend. No one is saying you do. They're saying you'd have every legal right to (especially if you got that agreement in writing). Plus OP paid for the hotel, so the friend is basically what, staying at the hotel on OP's dime? Furthermore, if the friend can afford to straight pay for two tickets (unless the sister is paying her back) why not send OP the ticket she paid for and then buy a ticket for her sister. It actually seems that the friend deliberately made it so OP wouldn’t be able to go.
Because nowadays tickets are in buyers name and you cannot transfer those. (I think it depends on event, but some expect ticket holder be in group and everyone arrive in group if one holds the tickets in their name) You can only resell thru ticketseller.
They had a deal. Sadie gets the tickets and OP pays her back. Sadie got the tickets and OP paid her in full for her ticket. Sadie sucks and I hope OP cuts off this "friend" permanently.
This is the consequence of cutting contact. Though it doesn't mean you are the one who will nilly reinstate Contact, it's both sides of the relationship. if you have that mindset, it isn't just being controlling. I am not saying he is right, but it is in his right.
Wtf do people expect after 17 years?? You gotta love the Reddit philosophy. If you want to have an abortion, great! But if you give a child up as a r*pe survivor you're an effing monster. They tell kids that they should stay out of their parents business when affairs happen but tell the parents they should burn in hell. I dont know about other people but I don't know how much of anything I could conjure up after 17 years of NO CONTACT. Then berating him like he's a monster even though he got what he deserved (losing his wife) they think parents should NEVER ever be done with their kids. I guarantee most of them do not understand the word nuance. There are definitely situations where you can and should just be done with your kids. She spent almost 2 decades completely ignoring him but he should just be grateful she FINALLY understood that her mom poisoned her and instead of working through things in counseling she said eff you pops. F*ck Reddit and their hypocrisy and insane takes.
If there's a teacher or a person of authority with a big voice, have them tell the handle the idiots during photographs. I have no trouble to telling people to shut up and be still in a scary voice. Grandmotherly teacher hobbits can be scary creatures.
My maternal Grandpa taught me the Family Boom. You drop your voice and vibrate your windpipe, it causes those in the area to get a sudden wave of panic and fear. Mind you, it hurts after repeated use, like getting a throat chop. Luckily/unfortunately, our entire family has been traumatized by the Boom, so just using it puts everyone in their place. Grandpa used to be the family patriarch, his cousin is the Matriarch and she learned the Family Pat, that gives you a wave of sadness and guilt.
Im sorry but OP is nta. He cheated on his wife. Not his child. He didnt have another daughter he preferred. Crappy partners dont always make crappy parents. Ex wife talked some things into daughters head, im sure of it! Was it bad of hom to cheat? Yes! But is the teen justified for cutting contact 20 years? No way!!! My bio father was a bad man who stole from his family and cheated on my mom while she was working to provide for me, who was sick. I forgave him. I will not ever speak to him because i know its what he wants too but i dont hold resentment. Daughter made her bed and now shr can lie in it!!
If people won't call you by your preferred name, you are under no obligation to respond to them. Had a middle school teacher call me a fancy version of my name. I kept chatting with my friend even when she hissed that he was calling on me. It wasn't until he said my correct name that I responded cheerfully. He never did that again.
Okay, guys, here's the update for the first story. UPDATE Look, I was extremely drunk last night. The words which came out of my mouth weren't the best, and my comments on my post weren't great either. Seeing how everyone said I was the AH, I decided to call my daughter again an hour ago. I didn't really expect her to pick up the call, but she picked up immediately. I apologized for last night, and she said there was no need to apologize. I then sent her a link to this Reddit post on messages and told her I know I was the AH, And thousands Said so. She Again said I wasn't the AH. She started crying again. I told her she's free to come to my house anytime. The next 4 months calm will because After that I will be leaving the country with my sister and our dog. Our parents left us a nice farmhouse in their home country, and we will be spending the rest of our lives there. I sent her my address on messages, and my daughter Said she'd be coming with her husband and daughter.By the end of next week, she's asked if she was welcome to stay there for multiple days.And I told her she could stay for however long she wanted as our house was spacious enough.
I read this on Reddit and was hoping someone had commented the update. I'm hope he took her words to heart. There is clearly a lot of hurt and anger on both sides (though it is a bit odd to me that for once being close to his daughter he felt nothing but, who am I to really question how someone handles their emotions) I hope they can at least work on getting some closure if they can't mend(or choose not to mend) the relationship.
I actually heard a different update. Where a friend tipped the OP off to the daughter and ex wife planning on faking reconciliation and manipulating OP into rewriting his will to give everything to the daughter or at least the granddaughter instead of the OP’s sister. The daughter even confessed it after some pressuring.
Something feels off with the daughter in 1st story. She was fine not having contact with her far for almost 20 years and now she is crying her eyes out talking to her father. My guess is that she needs money, maybe HER daughter is sick and needs assistance with medical bills or future college bills
I saw two different people talking about updates on this story, one where they reconciled and one where he found out it was all a ploy to get her back on the will and take everything from him. Which is just miserable of her.
@@TailsFan I found the post and when I posted the update the one that your previously talking about is from a different RUclips channel and I think they just made that up for just to get people raging and to justify the original poster wanting nothing to do with his daughter for his actions.
The main reason I read from the original post was the daughter and the mother had a conversation and the mother was the one who after all these years was telling her daughter that she needed to work things out with her father and I think that was after years of how he hurt her and the daughter she was starting to realize that even though she was living her happy life her daughter was still longing for something that really have been destroyed years ago and that was her father in her life
@@BIGEAGLEDUDE Okay, that's a relief! I was hoping the other one was from a different story or made-up by someone. I just get so tired of so many ruined happy endings, you know?
@@BIGEAGLEDUDEyea youtubers edit and leave out important parts of stories to have people react more. ...and then Redditors who post same story with some details changed.
Bet the friend isn't going away. She probably just wanted to go with the sister. I wouldn't be surprised that the friend miraculous changes her mind to stay after the concert
Story one: I’m in NAH category except the wife. If the story is to be believed, wife alienated the daughter from OP. For how long do people expect someone to keep trying to force contact with someone who’s made it very clear they want nothing to do with you? And then they expect OP to be happy that she finally got in contact with him 17 years later? Bro that’s nearly two decades. It’s not surprising that OP doesn’t want anything to do with a person who, in all honesty, is a stranger now. And I put no fault on the daughter. She was hurt, and that hurt was nurtured by a hurt mother.
@@Drezha3 where was that in the story, all that was mentioned was that she told the child about the affair, anything else is purely speculation from your head
Last story: OP is NTA. My grandmother, a total jn, always called my grandpa, other side of my family, by a different first name. He corrected her she refused, and said she liked the other name better. He ignored her and rarely, if ever, spoke to her.
LOL I wasn't looking at the text on screen when listening to the last story. The narrator's accent made the name sound like 'Soya" and I assumed it was from another country.
Story 1: OP is a POS no doubt about it. Can only take his word that he did tell the full truth to them. She didn't have to forgive him. But honestly 17 years is just too far gone. Also, she didn't forgive. She only called because her mom told her too. I am almost sure she cut him off because her mom told her too. Not defending OP. He is a POS. But at the same time, after 17, what would someone expect. You get disowned, in this case rightfully so, build your life solely for you, then the people who disown you come back and expect you to stop everything to accept this and be happy that they are giving you a chance that you no longer asked for. While she didn't owe him forgiveness, he doesn't owe her anything after 17. Besides, I dont think he would give her anything anyway. He is already prepared for death and not interested in new relationships.
You know whats funny is that if Op had been desperately trying to keep contact with his daughter all these years and she refused to talk to him people would say "Leave her alone, youre a piece of shit, she's better of without you". But suddenly when the daughter wants contact people are like "Go talk to her, you're a piece of shit, she's better off without you". Where are your standards lol? Should the daughter have the crappy dad in her life or not? Or does it depend on what the woman's feefees are and if she says its okay to keep contact then cheating is okay (because commenters immediately thought the no-contact that was a consequence of his actions should end)? If anyone cares, I think the two should remain no-contact. Op doesnt care anymore and the daughter got what she wanted, so why change anything?
Reddit has no standards. If two parents get married, they'll tell the kids that nobody can force a relationship down the kid's throat. But if the grandparents don't want a relationship forced down their throats, then they're called monsters. It's the same idea that you can't force relationships but depending on who it is Reddit has a different opinion.
@@mavis4801 Well, yeah. It's a selection of comments cherry picked from a website with over 500 million users. You think the same people are going to comment on every post? Do you want a medal for being a proud member of the 'youtube hivemind'?
@@Amy_The_unbearded What is 'reddit logic'? Does every reddit user post on every single reddit sub? Do all 500 million users share the exact same opinions? Believe the same things? Do you agree with every single comment on youtube and every drama youtuber you watch because of 'youtube logic'? Or is there just a hole where your brain should be?
Tell them you will respond to Sawyer, Tom (Sawyer, think the band RUSH) or Brown (again, the band Sawyer Brown) but your real name, Sawyer, is the most feminine. Create new names for everyone who is too stubborn to call YOU by the name YOU were legally given and YOU prefer. Get creative: think of each one as a Muppet that they resemble, sesame street character, zoo animal etc.
For the first story, I honestly have to say yes and no. You are the reason why this happened and at the end of the day you do understand that. Your delivery could’ve been a lot better. and when it comes down to it, no one is allowed to cut you off and then expect to be able to jump back into your life like nothing happened. And that goes for people who are in the right and in the wrong. For the story with the immature boyfriend, I agree with everything except for the last bit. A five-year age difference 23 to 18 is not a big deal at all. Once you dip below 18 it really really starts to become concerning, but I have seen relationships were a 21-year-old guy or 22. I think he was , going out with the 17-year-old girl and now they are married and have kids.
Nta. You paid for the ticket. You should have gotten it right away. That ahole was not a friend. Also you uninviting her to the 4th of July party just gives her more time to bond with her sister, right. Plus taking out the thrifting trips gives even extra time.
The story where the bf bleached his hair because the gf bleached her eyebrows: imo tbh they are both so immature that before either of them gets into another relationship they need to do a lot of growing up & maturing! Seriously wtf OP & her now ex are 2 of the most immature people I've ever heard of
Story 1: you made your choices. You didn't care about your daughter when you cheated on her mom and ruined her childhood, and you don't care about her now. It's all ME ME ME with you. You made your choices and you have to live with them.
Last story. NTA. I do disagree about having daddy talk 4 OP though. I think dad should visibly stand beside OP as she tells those bully family members what she wants, her boundaries, and the consideration if they ignore or continue to bully OP. This is a time for OP is stand up for herself, dad should definitely support her, but only step in when or if ANYONE says anything negative. ✌
Honesty it would've done the daughter good to just stay no contact. I did with my dad and didnt regret. Only one time after almost 30 years that I told him i forgive him but not to expect a rekindle and that remained until i found out he had died but i didnt feel anything. The past should just stay in the past.
Uhh..I was listening to this,not reading it too..I thought the last OP was called Soya and I was freaking out that the parents named her after a condiment.. -major facepalm-
Daughter's feelings is valid. Father's feelings is also valid, yta 17 years ago but not now. She just wants inheritance, and you just want peace. Go on and enjoy the rest of your life stress-free.
Story 1: I love how Op says “i wished my daughter would reach out to me so we could reconnect” and then, by some miracle she actually DOES and he…still says no… What an asshole, YTA.
Story one...they should have done the whole story but didnt!!! His friend was at a coffee shop where he heard the ex and daughter talking about the OP. They were going to con him and use him as an ATM since he has money now. They want to make sure he leaves everything to the daughter and her kid. When he confronted her she admitted the truth but swears 🙄 she wants a relationship still! He's leaving his estate to his sister!
Story 1: If you don't want a relationship with her, then you are being honest. Was it horrible to hear or say? Yes, but pretending you want a relationship with someone you don't is an AH mole.
I agree. He is an idiot for what he did back than, but right now he is completely in the right to choose whether to have a relationship with someone or not.
S1 NTA) Yrs, he blew up her world but she had had 20yrs to rekindle that relationship. She calling now because she either needs money, a kidney or a place to live. After 20yrs they’re strangers now!
Sawyer, your name is perfectly fine! Just don't acknowledge it unless they use your real name! Maybe you should start making up names for them and see how they like it! If you want to be childish, You should because they're being disrespectful to you and your parents who named you!
Hair bleaching: NTA. No one forced him to bleach his hair and its not your responsibility to stop him from doing so. He did this to himself. He sounds really dumb btw
Story 1. You sound depressed, it's your aging brain. Get therapy, learn coping skills, make connections in your community and then revisit the question.
Ever notice on reddit how if the woman cheats they say the kids shouldn't pick sides and parental alienation is a terrible thing .etc but reddit's tune seems to change when it's the man cheating? I hate cheaters and would have nothing to do with one, I just wish reddit would be consistent.
TF wrong with these people in this sub on Reddit, OP in story #1 is NTA. Yes he f'ed up but it has been 17 years, he moved on and the daughter is probably only back to get into his will or for financial/free childcare reasons
Name story. I never understood this. So many names these days are becoming unisexed and its really not hard for family members to respect an individuals name preference. I could make an entire list of names that were originally boys names or vise versa that ended up unisexed or gender swapped. Ashley, Lindsey, Terry, Sam, Pat, Charlie, Sasha, Micah, Jo(e), Billy/Billie, Bobby/Bobbie, Ash, Skylar, Taylor, River, Chris/Kris, Alex, Aaron/Erin, Jessie, Harlow, Remy, Max, Casey, Morgan, Peyton, Reese, Blake, Shiloh, Jamie, Leslie....etc... the list can go on and on for goodness sake.
ESH in the first story. What the dad did was wrong, but it's dumb of the daughter to just expect a relationship with someone you haven't bothered to keep in touch with for 17 years.
Op 1: no jugment . He owned up to his mistakez if she wanted to reconnect she had 17 years. The mother was part of the reason why the daugher lashed out. But the most important thing, how dose the grand child know about Op if op was a bad person. Why wasn’t the stepdad grandpa
@@jackchop1576 may explain why she mentioned that her mom recommended she call him. May also explain why she was quick to forgive in the update. I have mixed feelings about the story
@@lorilancaster5917 like you my feelings are mixed, while I feel the OP doesn't have to reconnect, I feel that the way he described his cheating and the aftermath was very white washed in his direction
A 5 year age difference isn't a big deal anywhere regardless of her being 18. Her brain hasn't finished development, neither has the 23 year old. They are both still immature, him more than her. I find most men to be too immature.
Divorce first! Never have an affair! That’s cowardice. You gave up after a year and moved away. You are the AH You gave up her after one year. You are amazing you are worried about your inheritance? Yeah still an AH
Story 1: NTA, while op made a bad choice, op doesn’t have to forgive or reinstate contact with the daughter. Classic Reddit, attacking the man. Story 2: NTA, op got them good! Story 3: NTA, that ain’t a friend! Story 4: NAH, appearances are important in a relationship, I think bleached eyebrows are gross. Story 5: NTA, call them ancient names lol
@@ruthsaunders9507 I’m not saying op was in the right for everything but in this situation. His kid went no contact, SHE severed the tie, SHE doesn’t get to walk back as if her actions had no lasting impact. It should be up to op is he wants to seek or establish a relationship again. Also idk if the mother had no impact on the kid’s decision to go no contact, but my judgement isn’t reliant on the mother’s actions.
Wow I don't understand the responses to story 1. She was not a hurt kid but an adult through all those years (well over a decade) of ghosting her father. Which is fine; you have the right to decide someone did something unforgivable and cut contact with them. But you cant expect them to wait around desperately hurting for decades to welcome you back. Being permanently cut off by a loved one is extremely painful even when the person deserves it (and I totally think it is sometimes justified; I cut contact with my abusive mother). For a lot of people, the only way to get through that mentally will be to let that loved one go from their heart. She made her choice. Actions (even righteously angry ones) have consequences and you have to live with them just the same as the other person did.
Take as old as time in the first story, someone cuts off a person for many years then all of a sudden reconnects, no doubt wanting something. Yeah reading the first story, already knew the verdict.
He cheated and that’s all there is and no matter how I look at it I can’t say the mother was wrong, all she did was not push the daughter to stay in contact, the daughter made a choice and stuck with it, he messed up and now will live his last years in a pity party. He gave up on her after 1 year, this is a weak man.
story one so op has to forgive his daughter for just cutting him out of his life but she didnt have to forgive him ? even after he owned upto the affair, fuck off with that bullshit 17 years she had time to reconnect with him and he already tried to reconnect so the moment he moves on accepting she doesnt want him in his life she suddenly just walks back in not because she missess him or anything its because she is feeling guilty because her daughter is asking wheres grandad, its all about her image, why should he forgive her at a drop of a hat when he she was alright to drop him at a drop of a hat
@@bailey7792 and i bet if op was the daughter and trhe fasrther cut her out of his life then came crawling back they all would tell her to not forgive, just cause shee feeling guilty now doesent mean he has to forgive her especially when she made it clear she didnt want him in her life and the moment hes at peace with it he just has to forgive and forget? nah
@@AnHeC funny how if it was reversed and it was the farther trying to come crawling back then everyone would be saying she doesnt have to forgive him, she isnt owed his forgiveness
@@bl4ckhearts802 Is he the one who cheated on the mother of his child... or her? Is he the one who broke up his entire family for an affair.. or her? Oh yeah.. it was nobody EXCEPT OP doing the wrong, and yet somehow he still thinks he's entitled to be forgiven on his time-line, when he wants. F**k off lmao. You are as ridiculous and unhinged as the OP.
He maverick blamed his daughter. Also how come when the wife cheats and the husband turns the kids against him he’s a shitty guy but now it the opposite and he’s a dick? Comments are bipolar.
@@vaseline69 Read the top comment to understand the context and my reply. He's asking a general question; I'm giving an answer to that question, not referencing any specific story in this video.
Story 1-NTA daughter only recached out because her mom told her to?she is a grown adult she needed mommies permission? The daughter wanted no contact...sgey got no contact
1) OP YTA for going outside his marriage, he blew up his family and I can understand the daughter being angry. She was a kid and when it comes to trying to maintain a relationship that should have been up to OP. He disregarded the feelings and well being of his family then, and once again now. OP is heartless and disgusting, he was not the victim in all this. 2) It's nice bride and groom were good natured about the photos. OP should not be given grief for bad photos when these people refused to cooperate. OP NTA to set the record straight. 3) It is too bad OP found out her friend was not a good friend to her to go behind her back and give away the tickets to something so important to OP. OP is not the one who is owed an apology. OP paid for that ticket, it was her ticket. Take her to small claims court to get the ticket back or the price of a new one and compensation for the hotel room that was booked it it wasn't refundable. After update: OP is too nice to not sue, and I hope she doesn't still have any allusion of this being her friend. 4) Some things are worthy of getting upset about and some things are not, making a non permanent change is not something to give someone a hard time about, and making a change to try and be spiteful and get revenge, and then blame the other person for that stupidity and also not ok. He sounds immature and unreasonable. OP dump this guy. 5) It is not up to others what OP's name is, and for them to try and call her by something other than the name she wants. OP is not the one being childish. Good solution, NTA.
Story 1; NTA and op isn’t wrong here except for the affair . Story 2: NTA and op isn’t wrong in the slightest . Story 2: NTA in my opinion . Story 3: boyfriend sucks the most and what’s stop with the age gap comments. Story 4: NTA and op isn’t wrong and family members suck here.
Why in hell are u posting 5 year old story that is missing 5 updates, and by the whay the wife was cheating and daughter tok the wifes side. Not is it missing 5 updates it also missing about 40% of the story
As the daughter with a dad who cheated, her image of him is shattered. It takes 10 years not to want to kill them for doing what they did. My dad was a raging asshole with a mistress who hated me and my sister. The second tried to be our friend but we saw right through her. OP is depressed he didn’t come out the hero for rescuing a battered wife.
That what got me he took no accountability and tried to make himself the good guy
Maybe because the wife was cheating and the daughter tok the wifes side, but he still wanted to talk with his daughter. But again a stolen story that is over 5 years old and missing 5 updates
@@anymous8407yea he was but ofcourse his a man right.
@@kennethsjvold9212 Not sure what story you're referring to, but this one is only a day old (as of this comment) and now has an update. I'll paste it here:
UPDATE:
Look, I was extremely drunk last night. The words which came out of my mouth weren’t the best, and my comments on my post weren’t great either. Seeing how everyone said I was the AH, I decided to call my daughter again an hour ago. I didn’t really expect her to pick up the call but she picked up immediately. I apologized for last night, and she said there was no need to apologize. I then sent her a link to this Reddit post on messages, and told her I know I was the AH, and thousands said so. She again said I wasn’t the AH. She started crying again.
I told her she’s free to come to my house anytime the next 4 months, because after that I will be leaving the country with my sister and our dog. Our parents left us a nice farmhouse in their home country, and we will be spending the rest of our lives there.
I sent her my address on messages, and my daughter said she’d come with her husband and her daughter by end of next week. She asked if she was welcome to stay there for multiple days, and I told her she could stay for however long she wanted, as our house was spacious enough.
Aching sadness equals I did some f*****-up s*** but I don't want to pay for it and now that my wife is the scapegoat I don't want to see the truth
Tickets
She uninvited you from an event you already paid for (even if she gave the money back) why should she be shocked to be uninvited from another event? NTI.
@@fcold9402 and if she was really sorry she would reimburse OP for the amount the tickets would currently go for and not how much OP actually spent. This would show that she hopes OP could get another ticket.
Yeah OP has a shitty friend. Hopefully they got the money for the hotel as well.
I hope she canceled the hotel reservation. Good luck getting a last minute hotel reservation at a reasonable rate on short notice. But oh well, I’m sure the friend will understand.
OP3: Wow. What a crappy way to show someone after that many years that they were never a friend.
I wonder if the "friend" and her sister didn't have enough money for 2 tickets, and decided to use the OP as a "loan" without actually telling OP.
@@patrickdix772 Seems like a distinct possibility. I hope OP cancels the hotel (whether she can get her money back or not), but I'm petty like that.
The dude doesn't owe her a relationship but what kind of father speaks so highly of his affair partner but then writes like nothing for his daughter. Dude is TA. He's mad she didn't stay 'daddies girl' after he cheated.
Honestly, I really hope that's a troll post.
Yup. He had the choice to be a good person and help the battered woman with just advice if he has a savior complex, but he chose to get his dick involved, meaning his interest was only selfish.
Not really a butthole in my opinion but the daughter sucks
Maybe because the wife was cheating and the daughter tok the wifes side, but he still wanted to talk with his daughter. But again a stolen story that is over 5 years old and missing 5 updates
@@kennethsjvold9212 what are you talking about
Story 2... One thing is for sure: People HATE it when they are confronted with evidence of their stupidity. As long as the wedding couple is happy OP has done their job.
I was reading that thinking, are these complete yokels? Who can't pause for a few seconds to take a picture? To do it over and over and then be surprised at the results is some room temperature IQ.
yeah, why would op care about the opinions of people who DIDN'T PAY for the pictures? And he obviously knew his family well for thinking to get proof of them mocking and ridiculing him while taking family photos.
S2: Nah, this is gold! And this is also one of the reasons why my late grandmother HATED taking pictures. Whenever one would be snapped of her with me or another family member, her mouth is open in a wide laugh or she's talking (I have a few examples snapped, and I love them).
S1 - Seems weird. No contact for that long. But the grandchild ask often about OP?
Yeah, this does seem like its missing a lot. Like why was the OP mentioned to the kid as grandpa, rather than the "great guy" the mom married.
Xo missed the update.
A friend of his lives in the town where the mom and daughter live. He happened to see them in a diner, overhead what they were talking about.
They did have a plan to take him for what he has. (He inherited an estate from parents)
He confronted the daughter and she came clean. He is thinking of leaving his estate to his daughter.
Ask a lawyer covered this earlier. XO and ask a lawyer are my top favorites.
@@bethanntay there are 2 conflicting updates with very different outcomes
@@bethanntay So the daughter wants to screw him over and he thinks of leaving his shit to her?
Story 3: That "friend" just showed OP that the "friendship" was only really one way.
NTA
First Story: I once read of an elderly couple (they'd married in their 20s), with one initiating a divorce (literally in their 90s), one having learned the other had had a brief affair a little over _65 years_ earlier...
It happens. For the cheater it's in the past. For the person who was cheated on it is fresh news. Also their whole life with that person is put into question.
Eyebrows story: wow this guy is immature. She’s 18 and he’s 23 but he’s acting like she’s 5years older than him. What a toddler.
She was willing to give him a second chance, something I can only hope for, and he pissed it away in the most heinous way possible. Girl RUN.
He gave her thousands of second chances. Every day before then was a chance for her to make the right choice. She didn't. You shouldn't be allowed to have a phone. She made a choice to not contact him and now she wants something, he has to acquiesce like a good little sperm donor?
There's actually an update in which OP finds out ex-wife pressured daughter to get back in contact because OP now has a sizeable estate that he plans to leave to his sister. He's now wondering if he owes his daughter the money for blowing up her family.
But she wasn’t the mom told her to because she felt guilty. Sounds like she poisoned the kid more because she was angry at her ex. Understandable she was angry but the daughter isn’t the only who forgave op, she just listened to mommy. Also how would the kid know of op? Assuming she’s around 8, she would still have the fathers side or if they dead why mention that one person they likely never talk about?
Not saying op wasn’t the as* for cheating, but he doesn’t owe the mom anything. The daughter was likely pushed to cut contact (why mom guilty) even if she was mad at him.
That or mom feels guilty for something else
@socketyellow3 Well, from the looks of things, if she has a twelve-year-old daughter and they haven't seen each other in almost 2 decades. That means the divorce happened When the daughter was 16 or 17, at least in the moment she turned 18, which was a year after the divorce. What's the moment that the original poster wiped His hands clean and left the state. In addition, I don't think the mother poisoned her daughter. I think she let her anger take A minor part in how the Daughter was feeling in addition, and let's be real here. The mother knew that the daughter missed having a relationship but the daughter was so stuck on not going to seem like She's hurting her mom by warning her dad in her life. That the mom decided you need to call your dad and rebuild something with him Before it's too late, especially if the daughter of the original post has been talking to the granddaughter about him.
@@BIGEAGLEDUDE fair points, just her guilt makes me think she had a bigger involvement on keeping her away. Like possibly as you said the mom was openly hating on the dad (with good reason) and the kid felt like she was hurting her mom by staying in contact. D just don’t think mom would be that guilty if this was the case. Unless daughter told mom that’s why she split with op, but a lot of unknowns here
To the OP who got screwed by her friend with the tickets. If she already paid for the hotel, she should go to the hotel anyway, and use the refunded money for other activities in the area
Especially if the friend and the sister planned on using the booked hotel room. You know how expensive hotels will be the night of the eras tour?
When I was small, my father called me by the nickname to my name, say 'Jessie' (not my real name). I absolutely HATE the nickname. When I was 7, there was another girl in the neighborhood whose name was 'Jessie'. I thought this is a great opportunity, and said since she is Jessie, everybody can call me Jessica. That way there is no confusion. There are family members who still refuse to call me Jessica, but I never answer. Not because I am being rude, but because it isn't my name. It would be like calling me Carol, or Michele. I just don't hear it. No matter how much I ask them to call me by my real name, they don't. I don't get upset with them though, they are family and we love each other. It's a minor annoyance, nothing to get upset about. Having a sister that slept with my husband kind of put things in perspective for me. That's something to get upset about!
Homie!! You can't just slide that in at the last second. I need more info on your crappy sister.
@@12XFixer My sister always wanted everything I had. She stole my clothes and jewelry when we were young. I divorced my husband for other reasons, but I found out later she had made moves on him until he gave in. Just the way she is. Even when we were little kids, she would smash my birthday cake or break stuff my toys.
"They don't get good pictures" maybe that's because they don't try to be in good pictures. Stop talking and looking around and just listen to the photographer. Nobody wants to wait for you 'to be ready' when that means finishing your conversation that could be had at and time.
For the first story, I honestly have to say yes and no. You are the reason why this happened and at the end of the day you do understand that. Your delivery could’ve been a lot better. and when it comes down to it, no one is allowed to cut you off and then expect to be able to jump back into your life like nothing happened. And that goes for people who are in the right and in the wrong.
S1.
UPDATE:
Look, I was extremely drunk last night. The words which came out of my mouth weren’t the best, and my comments on my post weren’t great either. Seeing how everyone said I was the AH, I decided to call my daughter again an hour ago. I didn’t really expect her to pick up the call but she picked up immediately. I apologized for last night, and she said there was no need to apologize. I then sent her a link to this Reddit post on messages, and told her I know I was the AH, and thousands said so. She again said I wasn’t the AH. She started crying again.
I told her she’s free to come to my house anytime the next 4 months, because after that I will be leaving the country with my sister and our dog. Our parents left us a nice farmhouse in their home country, and we will be spending the rest of our lives there.
I sent her my address on messages, and my daughter said she’d come with her husband and her daughter by end of next week. She asked if she was welcome to stay there for multiple days, and I told her she could stay for however long she wanted, as our house was spacious enough.
My brother is named Kim, which was a boy's name at the time. 2 years after he was born, Kimberly became a popular girls name. My brother tells people his name is Kim, he's a boy, so Kim is a boy's name.
My brother's name is Kim, too, and he hated it. In high school he started going by Ken.
@@susanyoung1600 My brother is also Kim. He made it through high school but the name was later mocked at his job so he started going by his middle name. He let us know and stopped responding to Kim.
There's a well known singer/harmonica player named Kim Wilson, who played with the Fabulous Thunderbirds in the mid-to-late eighties.
This story topic is very common in my very large family, with lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins, as both my mother and father come from big families. A lot of the girls have “boy” names, including one of my own daughters. I have a cousin that named both her daughters boy names. One is Peyton and the other is Presley. My daughter’s name is Harley. Hubby wanted Harley Davidson, but I vetoed that. I wanted Haley Renee, so we compromised and named her Harley Renee. My brother’s granddaughter is named Charlotte, but nicknamed Charlie. I have a cousin that named his daughter Saylor.
KIm is traditionally a boys name in the UK, very popular in Victorian times due to Rudyard Kipling
Bleach story: I'd continue dating this man just for shits and giggles lmao. Suggest stupid things and get it done temporarily just for him to be petty again before breaking up lmaoooo
Bleaching story, girl walk out the door and start walking. And then keep walking.
Story 1: ESH. OP's in the wrong for the affair, but he doesn't owe is daughter anything after years of silence from her. She hadn't spoken to him in nearly 20 years and the only reason she's making an attempt is because her mom asked her to. So OP has had 20 years to accept her dismissal of him and move on. I'd be wondering if the real reason she's looking to reconnect was less altruistic and more she needs funds for something and mommy can't provide it for her.
Exactly!!! The daughter wants something. She wants money for her or her daughter. Wants to be included in the inheritance. After 17 years she just had a "change of heart" after her mother suggested it (after alienating the father for 17 years)? I don't think so.
Concert story really bothers me, especially reading through the comments on the video. I don't see many on this story and at least one is like "they aren’t your tickets". Like, yes, they are not OP's tickets in that she has either personally. But she made an agreement with her friend that the friend would buy the tickets and OP would pay her for one of them. They had that agreement, even if it wasn't in writing. And by waiting until the last minute to change plans, the friend made it impossible for OP to buy another ticket to something she really wanted to go to, thus screwing her over. OP you don't have to sue the friend. No one is saying you do. They're saying you'd have every legal right to (especially if you got that agreement in writing). Plus OP paid for the hotel, so the friend is basically what, staying at the hotel on OP's dime? Furthermore, if the friend can afford to straight pay for two tickets (unless the sister is paying her back) why not send OP the ticket she paid for and then buy a ticket for her sister. It actually seems that the friend deliberately made it so OP wouldn’t be able to go.
OP should cancel the hotel, make the friend flounder to find a room on such short notice.
Because nowadays tickets are in buyers name and you cannot transfer those. (I think it depends on event, but some expect ticket holder be in group and everyone arrive in group if one holds the tickets in their name) You can only resell thru ticketseller.
@@TailsFanmy thoughts exactly. Sucks when someone acts like a rat
They had a deal. Sadie gets the tickets and OP pays her back. Sadie got the tickets and OP paid her in full for her ticket. Sadie sucks and I hope OP cuts off this "friend" permanently.
This is the consequence of cutting contact. Though it doesn't mean you are the one who will nilly reinstate Contact, it's both sides of the relationship. if you have that mindset, it isn't just being controlling. I am not saying he is right, but it is in his right.
I would let the sister know what her sister did, and tell them you hope the guilt doesn’t ruin the experience.
Why would the second-last OP take her partner seriously? He seems like a joke of a person.
Love this channel!!
Wtf do people expect after 17 years?? You gotta love the Reddit philosophy. If you want to have an abortion, great! But if you give a child up as a r*pe survivor you're an effing monster. They tell kids that they should stay out of their parents business when affairs happen but tell the parents they should burn in hell. I dont know about other people but I don't know how much of anything I could conjure up after 17 years of NO CONTACT. Then berating him like he's a monster even though he got what he deserved (losing his wife) they think parents should NEVER ever be done with their kids. I guarantee most of them do not understand the word nuance. There are definitely situations where you can and should just be done with your kids. She spent almost 2 decades completely ignoring him but he should just be grateful she FINALLY understood that her mom poisoned her and instead of working through things in counseling she said eff you pops. F*ck Reddit and their hypocrisy and insane takes.
I thought I was crazy for thinking this exact thing!
If there's a teacher or a person of authority with a big voice, have them tell the handle the idiots during photographs. I have no trouble to telling people to shut up and be still in a scary voice. Grandmotherly teacher hobbits can be scary creatures.
My maternal Grandpa taught me the Family Boom. You drop your voice and vibrate your windpipe, it causes those in the area to get a sudden wave of panic and fear. Mind you, it hurts after repeated use, like getting a throat chop. Luckily/unfortunately, our entire family has been traumatized by the Boom, so just using it puts everyone in their place.
Grandpa used to be the family patriarch, his cousin is the Matriarch and she learned the Family Pat, that gives you a wave of sadness and guilt.
Im sorry but OP is nta. He cheated on his wife. Not his child. He didnt have another daughter he preferred. Crappy partners dont always make crappy parents. Ex wife talked some things into daughters head, im sure of it! Was it bad of hom to cheat? Yes! But is the teen justified for cutting contact 20 years? No way!!!
My bio father was a bad man who stole from his family and cheated on my mom while she was working to provide for me, who was sick. I forgave him. I will not ever speak to him because i know its what he wants too but i dont hold resentment.
Daughter made her bed and now shr can lie in it!!
If people won't call you by your preferred name, you are under no obligation to respond to them.
Had a middle school teacher call me a fancy version of my name. I kept chatting with my friend even when she hissed that he was calling on me. It wasn't until he said my correct name that I responded cheerfully. He never did that again.
Sawyer story: They haven't seen Cats Don't Dance. The female cat's name...is Sawyer.
Okay, guys, here's the update for the first story.
UPDATE
Look, I was extremely drunk last night. The words which came out of my mouth weren't the best, and my comments on my post weren't great either. Seeing how everyone said I was the AH, I decided to call my daughter again an hour ago. I didn't really expect her to pick up the call, but she picked up immediately. I apologized for last night, and she said there was no need to apologize. I then sent her a link to this Reddit post on messages and told her I know I was the AH, And thousands Said so. She Again said I wasn't the AH. She started crying again.
I told her she's free to come to my house anytime. The next 4 months calm will because After that I will be leaving the country with my sister and our dog. Our parents left us a nice farmhouse in their home country, and we will be spending the rest of our lives there.
I sent her my address on messages, and my daughter Said she'd be coming with her husband and daughter.By the end of next week, she's asked if she was welcome to stay there for multiple days.And I told her she could stay for however long she wanted as our house was spacious enough.
So he took their words to heart. Good
That’s awesome
I read this on Reddit and was hoping someone had commented the update. I'm hope he took her words to heart. There is clearly a lot of hurt and anger on both sides (though it is a bit odd to me that for once being close to his daughter he felt nothing but, who am I to really question how someone handles their emotions) I hope they can at least work on getting some closure if they can't mend(or choose not to mend) the relationship.
I actually heard a different update. Where a friend tipped the OP off to the daughter and ex wife planning on faking reconciliation and manipulating OP into rewriting his will to give everything to the daughter or at least the granddaughter instead of the OP’s sister. The daughter even confessed it after some pressuring.
@@MyCarhuggerShow Oof, that's a rough end to what would've been a happy ending. You sure it's for this story?
Something feels off with the daughter in 1st story. She was fine not having contact with her far for almost 20 years and now she is crying her eyes out talking to her father. My guess is that she needs money, maybe HER daughter is sick and needs assistance with medical bills or future college bills
I saw two different people talking about updates on this story, one where they reconciled and one where he found out it was all a ploy to get her back on the will and take everything from him. Which is just miserable of her.
@@TailsFan I found the post and when I posted the update the one that your previously talking about is from a different RUclips channel and I think they just made that up for just to get people raging and to justify the original poster wanting nothing to do with his daughter for his actions.
The main reason I read from the original post was the daughter and the mother had a conversation and the mother was the one who after all these years was telling her daughter that she needed to work things out with her father and I think that was after years of how he hurt her and the daughter she was starting to realize that even though she was living her happy life her daughter was still longing for something that really have been destroyed years ago and that was her father in her life
@@BIGEAGLEDUDE Okay, that's a relief! I was hoping the other one was from a different story or made-up by someone.
I just get so tired of so many ruined happy endings, you know?
@@BIGEAGLEDUDEyea youtubers edit and leave out important parts of stories to have people react more.
...and then Redditors who post same story with some details changed.
Bet the friend isn't going away. She probably just wanted to go with the sister. I wouldn't be surprised that the friend miraculous changes her mind to stay after the concert
She can't sue for damages unless she's owed me money (like hotel). She won't get awarded extra money because the ticket prices increased.
Hearing xo say "jackass" brought me an odd sense of joy
I believe that's Eddie Izzard.
idk man something doesn't sit well with me with that first story. He's an asshole for cheating but her sudden reaching out gives me such a bad vibe.
Story one: I’m in NAH category except the wife. If the story is to be believed, wife alienated the daughter from OP. For how long do people expect someone to keep trying to force contact with someone who’s made it very clear they want nothing to do with you? And then they expect OP to be happy that she finally got in contact with him 17 years later? Bro that’s nearly two decades. It’s not surprising that OP doesn’t want anything to do with a person who, in all honesty, is a stranger now.
And I put no fault on the daughter. She was hurt, and that hurt was nurtured by a hurt mother.
how did the wife alienate the daughter, he was the one that cheated
@@vaseline69if you mean specifically how then using your kid as a therapist/vent target is a way to alienate your kid.
@@Drezha3 where was that in the story, all that was mentioned was that she told the child about the affair, anything else is purely speculation from your head
Last story: OP is NTA. My grandmother, a total jn, always called my grandpa, other side of my family, by a different first name. He corrected her she refused, and said she liked the other name better. He ignored her and rarely, if ever, spoke to her.
LOL I wasn't looking at the text on screen when listening to the last story. The narrator's accent made the name sound like 'Soya" and I assumed it was from another country.
Story 1: OP is a POS no doubt about it. Can only take his word that he did tell the full truth to them. She didn't have to forgive him. But honestly 17 years is just too far gone. Also, she didn't forgive. She only called because her mom told her too. I am almost sure she cut him off because her mom told her too. Not defending OP. He is a POS. But at the same time, after 17, what would someone expect. You get disowned, in this case rightfully so, build your life solely for you, then the people who disown you come back and expect you to stop everything to accept this and be happy that they are giving you a chance that you no longer asked for. While she didn't owe him forgiveness, he doesn't owe her anything after 17. Besides, I dont think he would give her anything anyway. He is already prepared for death and not interested in new relationships.
You know whats funny is that if Op had been desperately trying to keep contact with his daughter all these years and she refused to talk to him people would say "Leave her alone, youre a piece of shit, she's better of without you".
But suddenly when the daughter wants contact people are like "Go talk to her, you're a piece of shit, she's better off without you".
Where are your standards lol? Should the daughter have the crappy dad in her life or not? Or does it depend on what the woman's feefees are and if she says its okay to keep contact then cheating is okay (because commenters immediately thought the no-contact that was a consequence of his actions should end)?
If anyone cares, I think the two should remain no-contact. Op doesnt care anymore and the daughter got what she wanted, so why change anything?
Reddit has no standards. If two parents get married, they'll tell the kids that nobody can force a relationship down the kid's throat. But if the grandparents don't want a relationship forced down their throats, then they're called monsters. It's the same idea that you can't force relationships but depending on who it is Reddit has a different opinion.
He said he only tried for a year. She was a teenager and he destroyed their family. Those things take years to deal with.
Gotta love reddit logic. This is why I will never seek advice for anything more than crafting on Reddit
@@mavis4801 Well, yeah. It's a selection of comments cherry picked from a website with over 500 million users. You think the same people are going to comment on every post? Do you want a medal for being a proud member of the 'youtube hivemind'?
@@Amy_The_unbearded What is 'reddit logic'? Does every reddit user post on every single reddit sub? Do all 500 million users share the exact same opinions? Believe the same things? Do you agree with every single comment on youtube and every drama youtuber you watch because of 'youtube logic'? Or is there just a hole where your brain should be?
Tell them you will respond to Sawyer, Tom (Sawyer, think the band RUSH) or Brown (again, the band Sawyer Brown) but your real name, Sawyer, is the most feminine. Create new names for everyone who is too stubborn to call YOU by the name YOU were legally given and YOU prefer. Get creative: think of each one as a Muppet that they resemble, sesame street character, zoo animal etc.
And be mean about the names too. Like call someone Uncle Big Nose or Auntie Thrice Divorced
For the first story, I honestly have to say yes and no. You are the reason why this happened and at the end of the day you do understand that. Your delivery could’ve been a lot better. and when it comes down to it, no one is allowed to cut you off and then expect to be able to jump back into your life like nothing happened. And that goes for people who are in the right and in the wrong.
For the story with the immature boyfriend, I agree with everything except for the last bit. A five-year age difference 23 to 18 is not a big deal at all. Once you dip below 18 it really really starts to become concerning, but I have seen relationships were a 21-year-old guy or 22. I think he was , going out with the 17-year-old girl and now they are married and have kids.
NTA You decide if you want to be in contact after all those years and not all the gen z on reddit
Nta. You paid for the ticket. You should have gotten it right away. That ahole was not a friend. Also you uninviting her to the 4th of July party just gives her more time to bond with her sister, right. Plus taking out the thrifting trips gives even extra time.
The story where the bf bleached his hair because the gf bleached her eyebrows: imo tbh they are both so immature that before either of them gets into another relationship they need to do a lot of growing up & maturing! Seriously wtf OP & her now ex are 2 of the most immature people I've ever heard of
HAPPY FRIDAY
Story 1: you made your choices. You didn't care about your daughter when you cheated on her mom and ruined her childhood, and you don't care about her now. It's all ME ME ME with you. You made your choices and you have to live with them.
Last story. NTA. I do disagree about having daddy talk 4 OP though. I think dad should visibly stand beside OP as she tells those bully family members what she wants, her boundaries, and the consideration if they ignore or continue to bully OP. This is a time for OP is stand up for herself, dad should definitely support her, but only step in when or if ANYONE says anything negative. ✌
If the bride and groom liked the pictures, that’s pretty much all that matters. And that’s all you need to say.
Honesty it would've done the daughter good to just stay no contact. I did with my dad and didnt regret. Only one time after almost 30 years that I told him i forgive him but not to expect a rekindle and that remained until i found out he had died but i didnt feel anything. The past should just stay in the past.
Uhh..I was listening to this,not reading it too..I thought the last OP was called Soya and I was freaking out that the parents named her after a condiment.. -major facepalm-
Daughter's feelings is valid.
Father's feelings is also valid, yta 17 years ago but not now. She just wants inheritance, and you just want peace. Go on and enjoy the rest of your life stress-free.
Nah, a cheater is always a cheater. He can't undestroy her childhood
Story 1: I love how Op says “i wished my daughter would reach out to me so we could reconnect” and then, by some miracle she actually DOES and he…still says no…
What an asshole, YTA.
Story one...they should have done the whole story but didnt!!! His friend was at a coffee shop where he heard the ex and daughter talking about the OP. They were going to con him and use him as an ATM since he has money now. They want to make sure he leaves everything to the daughter and her kid. When he confronted her she admitted the truth but swears 🙄 she wants a relationship still! He's leaving his estate to his sister!
Froend buti g the tickets, she took your ticket, you can cancel the hotel
Story 1: If you don't want a relationship with her, then you are being honest. Was it horrible to hear or say? Yes, but pretending you want a relationship with someone you don't is an AH mole.
I agree. He is an idiot for what he did back than, but right now he is completely in the right to choose whether to have a relationship with someone or not.
Last Story:
Oh, SAWYER
I was listening without reading and wondering why you enjoyed being named after a bean.
Nothing wrong with Sawyer.
Enjoy.
Sawyer needs to bring up Sawyer from Cats Dont Dance
I don't remember the last time someone brought up that movie!
S1 NTA) Yrs, he blew up her world but she had had 20yrs to rekindle that relationship. She calling now because she either needs money, a kidney or a place to live. After 20yrs they’re strangers now!
Call them nicknames that are anagrams of their nanes so its still part of their name too!!!
The daughter only wanted him back for her kid. Or he's got money and want some.NTA. if he feels nothing, he feels nothing
sawyer if you want to be super petty you could change your middle name legally to Sawyer! 👍🏻😆
Nta. These were grown adults. They should grow up. Or pay a photographer. Who let's face it would probably quit before it was over
Sawyer, your name is perfectly fine! Just don't acknowledge it unless they use your real name! Maybe you should start making up names for them and see how they like it! If you want to be childish, You should because they're being disrespectful to you and your parents who named you!
Or play the song "That's Not My Name" by the Ting Tings every time someone calls her by her middle name
S 1- op, do you realize your co worker used you?
Suzy Izzard?! It's EDDIE Izzard XD
Daughter just wants money and/or inheritance lol
Good riddance
Hair bleaching: NTA. No one forced him to bleach his hair and its not your responsibility to stop him from doing so. He did this to himself. He sounds really dumb btw
Story 1. You sound depressed, it's your aging brain. Get therapy, learn coping skills, make connections in your community and then revisit the question.
Ever notice on reddit how if the woman cheats they say the kids shouldn't pick sides and parental alienation is a terrible thing .etc but reddit's tune seems to change when it's the man cheating?
I hate cheaters and would have nothing to do with one, I just wish reddit would be consistent.
Story 1 there is an update but it so clearly faked by op because he didn’t like being called an ah.
I really want to comment on the first story but the hypocrisy of women and accountability, would take too long
TF wrong with these people in this sub on Reddit, OP in story #1 is NTA.
Yes he f'ed up but it has been 17 years, he moved on and the daughter is probably only back to get into his will or for financial/free childcare reasons
Name story. I never understood this. So many names these days are becoming unisexed and its really not hard for family members to respect an individuals name preference. I could make an entire list of names that were originally boys names or vise versa that ended up unisexed or gender swapped. Ashley, Lindsey, Terry, Sam, Pat, Charlie, Sasha, Micah, Jo(e), Billy/Billie, Bobby/Bobbie, Ash, Skylar, Taylor, River, Chris/Kris, Alex, Aaron/Erin, Jessie, Harlow, Remy, Max, Casey, Morgan, Peyton, Reese, Blake, Shiloh, Jamie, Leslie....etc... the list can go on and on for goodness sake.
What would be the verdict if it was the mother who cheated?
2n story: At 23 he's acting like a toddler, do you really want a man-child as your partner?
ESH in the first story. What the dad did was wrong, but it's dumb of the daughter to just expect a relationship with someone you haven't bothered to keep in touch with for 17 years.
Op is NTA
Story 1. Dude. You talk about how lonely you are and then kicked your daughter in the teeth. Nice work. 3. She sucks. Leave her be.
Op 1: no jugment . He owned up to his mistakez if she wanted to reconnect she had 17 years. The mother was part of the reason why the daugher lashed out. But the most important thing, how dose the grand child know about Op if op was a bad person. Why wasn’t the stepdad grandpa
Story 1 is not an AH! Yes daughter was hurt, but 10yrs…. After 10yrs it’s OP call. If I was tossed aside I would not jump right in after 10yrs
OP in story 1 is far from a great father. However, his daughter suddenly "caring" out of nowhere is likely because she wants money and mom said no.
@@jackchop1576 may explain why she mentioned that her mom recommended she call him. May also explain why she was quick to forgive in the update. I have mixed feelings about the story
@@lorilancaster5917 like you my feelings are mixed, while I feel the OP doesn't have to reconnect, I feel that the way he described his cheating and the aftermath was very white washed in his direction
A 5 year age difference isn't a big deal anywhere regardless of her being 18. Her brain hasn't finished development, neither has the 23 year old. They are both still immature, him more than her. I find most men to be too immature.
Divorce first! Never have an affair! That’s cowardice. You gave up after a year and moved away. You are the AH You gave up her after one year. You are amazing you are worried about your inheritance? Yeah still an AH
Story 1: NTA, while op made a bad choice, op doesn’t have to forgive or reinstate contact with the daughter. Classic Reddit, attacking the man.
Story 2: NTA, op got them good!
Story 3: NTA, that ain’t a friend!
Story 4: NAH, appearances are important in a relationship, I think bleached eyebrows are gross.
Story 5: NTA, call them ancient names lol
#1. He was the one in the wrong. This isn't the story of a wife that lied to the child and turned them against their father.
@@ruthsaunders9507 I’m not saying op was in the right for everything but in this situation. His kid went no contact, SHE severed the tie, SHE doesn’t get to walk back as if her actions had no lasting impact. It should be up to op is he wants to seek or establish a relationship again.
Also idk if the mother had no impact on the kid’s decision to go no contact, but my judgement isn’t reliant on the mother’s actions.
He destroyed his family and is upset with her, but cares fir tge mistress? Clutch my invisible pearls!!😂😂
Wow I don't understand the responses to story 1. She was not a hurt kid but an adult through all those years (well over a decade) of ghosting her father. Which is fine; you have the right to decide someone did something unforgivable and cut contact with them. But you cant expect them to wait around desperately hurting for decades to welcome you back. Being permanently cut off by a loved one is extremely painful even when the person deserves it (and I totally think it is sometimes justified; I cut contact with my abusive mother). For a lot of people, the only way to get through that mentally will be to let that loved one go from their heart. She made her choice. Actions (even righteously angry ones) have consequences and you have to live with them just the same as the other person did.
OP went to reedit to get validation. Instead, he got a backlash as AH. Thats really satisfying.
Take as old as time in the first story, someone cuts off a person for many years then all of a sudden reconnects, no doubt wanting something. Yeah reading the first story, already knew the verdict.
He was cut off for cheating and ruining their home life. Let’s not act like it wasn’t justified.
@@madlie2452 exactly, and then tried to paint himself as the white knight, well we know he did use his lance
@@madlie2452 yeah, yeah, not saying he was not the AH here, he is, just saying, already knew where this was going
He cheated and that’s all there is and no matter how I look at it I can’t say the mother was wrong, all she did was not push the daughter to stay in contact, the daughter made a choice and stuck with it, he messed up and now will live his last years in a pity party. He gave up on her after 1 year, this is a weak man.
story one so op has to forgive his daughter for just cutting him out of his life but she didnt have to forgive him ? even after he owned upto the affair, fuck off with that bullshit 17 years she had time to reconnect with him and he already tried to reconnect so the moment he moves on accepting she doesnt want him in his life she suddenly just walks back in not because she missess him or anything its because she is feeling guilty because her daughter is asking wheres grandad, its all about her image, why should he forgive her at a drop of a hat when he she was alright to drop him at a drop of a hat
he was the one that broke his marriage vows
@vaseline69
Because he's the parent that chose to have a child lol?
@@bailey7792 and i bet if op was the daughter and trhe fasrther cut her out of his life then came crawling back they all would tell her to not forgive, just cause shee feeling guilty now doesent mean he has to forgive her especially when she made it clear she didnt want him in her life and the moment hes at peace with it he just has to forgive and forget? nah
@@AnHeC funny how if it was reversed and it was the farther trying to come crawling back then everyone would be saying she doesnt have to forgive him, she isnt owed his forgiveness
@@bl4ckhearts802
Is he the one who cheated on the mother of his child... or her? Is he the one who broke up his entire family for an affair.. or her? Oh yeah.. it was nobody EXCEPT OP doing the wrong, and yet somehow he still thinks he's entitled to be forgiven on his time-line, when he wants. F**k off lmao. You are as ridiculous and unhinged as the OP.
He maverick blamed his daughter. Also how come when the wife cheats and the husband turns the kids against him he’s a shitty guy but now it the opposite and he’s a dick? Comments are bipolar.
Not bipolar; extremely predictable. Reddit assumes men are in the wrong whenever they possibly can.
@@MrBrachiatingApe but he was in the wrong he committed adultery and blew up his family
@@vaseline69 Read the top comment to understand the context and my reply. He's asking a general question; I'm giving an answer to that question, not referencing any specific story in this video.
Story 1-NTA daughter only recached out because her mom told her to?she is a grown adult she needed mommies permission? The daughter wanted no contact...sgey got no contact
1: hopefully you can join your parents soon...
I wonder what happened to the AP? I bet she dumped him as soon as she got her divorce. Boo-hoo Dear old Dad is all alone.
@@carolrondou6161 ish people always with the woe is me...
Op has always been a selfish person he literally tried to make himself a hero because he cheated on his wife
ESH in story 1.
Nta in photography Story
Nta in swift story
1) OP YTA for going outside his marriage, he blew up his family and I can understand the daughter being angry. She was a kid and when it comes to trying to maintain a relationship that should have been up to OP. He disregarded the feelings and well being of his family then, and once again now. OP is heartless and disgusting, he was not the victim in all this.
2) It's nice bride and groom were good natured about the photos. OP should not be given grief for bad photos when these people refused to cooperate. OP NTA to set the record straight.
3) It is too bad OP found out her friend was not a good friend to her to go behind her back and give away the tickets to something so important to OP. OP is not the one who is owed an apology. OP paid for that ticket, it was her ticket. Take her to small claims court to get the ticket back or the price of a new one and compensation for the hotel room that was booked it it wasn't refundable.
After update: OP is too nice to not sue, and I hope she doesn't still have any allusion of this being her friend.
4) Some things are worthy of getting upset about and some things are not, making a non permanent change is not something to give someone a hard time about, and making a change to try and be spiteful and get revenge, and then blame the other person for that stupidity and also not ok. He sounds immature and unreasonable. OP dump this guy.
5) It is not up to others what OP's name is, and for them to try and call her by something other than the name she wants. OP is not the one being childish. Good solution, NTA.
Story 1; NTA and op isn’t wrong here except for the affair . Story 2: NTA and op isn’t wrong in the slightest .
Story 2: NTA in my opinion .
Story 3: boyfriend sucks the most and what’s stop with the age gap comments.
Story 4: NTA and op isn’t wrong and family members suck here.
Why in hell are u posting 5 year old story that is missing 5 updates, and by the whay the wife was cheating and daughter tok the wifes side. Not is it missing 5 updates it also missing about 40% of the story
or there are 2 different stories and you are tying because you seem to have some sort of agenda