I used to think something was wrong with me for needing meaningful friendships that go deeper than small talk. Now that I know I am a INFJ, everything makes sense. I need all of these things.
This is refreshingly accurate, especially the part on planning. I feel like a lot of people get that piece confused, as an infj I don't need and I prefer not to have every single second planned out but I do need and prefer to have a general overview or structure in place that is fluid
As an INFJ who is not young, I would say that learning how to deal with, explain to others, and fulfill the need for alone time is the first order of business. As an absorber of other people's needs and feelings it's most difficult to make the choice to be alone when you sense others confusion or wants for your time. I spent decades ignoring myself in lieu of others wants and it nearly killed me. Understand it and create the boundary, if someone doesn't get it or feels too insecure - move on... it will only get worse and so will you.
Dude you are so right. Me too! I nearly killed my self for decades “sacrificing myself” for narcs, sociopaths, low-lives, cluster b’s or other people and the like in the hope that they would understand me. Seeing as how INFJs are so often misunderstood. Or so that onlookers to my life wouldn’t think I was stuck up or anti-social. Doing this left me more hurt, betrayed, let down, defamed, shamed, blamed and shattering my sense of self worth over and over again. Missing opportunities because of bitterness and depression in the aftermath of feeling let down and a profound sense of being cheated. It became a horrid cycle of self loathing and regret. So much energy bound upin gripes and nursing grudges for what in reality is my own well meaning but mistaken ascription of value to people who either can’t don’t or want to understand me, beyond trying to figure out the best route to manipulating me when I could have bypassed all those people altogether, and saved that lost energy and applied to it building the life of my dreams. To fuck what strangers think about me. Half of the time they got me all wrong anyway. And on top of that as an INFJ were rare. We should probably stop expecting most people to understand us. All we need is just a few to be mind blowingly happy.
I like being an INFJ but it's very hard to live in a world where you are part of the minority or considered a weirdo for being different. It also limits us to be able to express our full selves, or not live as fully as we want.
Combine that with HSP ... First read about HSP in the late 90s in a magazine at some doctor office visit. I was, HEY that's me! Take the HSP test, my guess is a lot of us are also HSPs. We are special ... as is every being ... just let us carry on.
@@briettasonlen1208 Yes, I am really sensitive, I'm not really sure about the term-I'll look into that, thanks. Also the term empaths relate to us. That's why I guess we are pretty good at catching nuances, moods, energies around us that in turn makes us extremely tired-absorbing everything, even unconsciously, and then resulting to us retreating to solitude if too much.
Healthy ENFPs can sometimes feel the same we just dont always share it with other cuz we dont feel they would understand. My ENTP hubby just doesnt “get” me or what I am talking about many times. I have found, once spending time in deep discussions, INFJs understand this and “get” me and where I am coming from and vice versa
@@Jaxmusicgal23 @Jaxmusicgal23 I understand. We are just built a bit different but it would be so nice (understatement) to be understood and have deep conversations with others. They say we are each other's (ENFPs-INFJs) inverse images. We have the same order/stack of cognitive functions but just differ in introversion and extraversion. I think I can talk about ANYthing with an ENFP without judgment. Though it might be hard, please keep being you, as I will too. I have seen ENFP personalities that are in their elements and I'm so in awe of them. I admire how they can be themselves, not afraid to stand out and be different. Plus, I find them fun, and adorable, just have to say that 😅 I know that it is in you as well, so I wish you would fill your cup more and more and there will come a time it will overflow 🌊
After finding out I was an INFJ, I came to RUclips to learn more about it. And I felt like I had been read like a book. Things started to click with who I was that I hadn’t thought before. And while infj isn’t my entire personality it did feel like a part of the puzzle was solved.
The need to be understood, is my constant fight. But I’m learning that it’s more important to understand yourself than to rely on others to understand you. No one will understand you the way you will ❤
I think this video will be the most useful for INFJ as "Manual" which we can send to others in order to make them understand how we function. It's clear and simple, much easier to get to the point than explaining everything by ourselves and get lost in our tangled thoughts before we make the point xD
Recently ended a 4 year relationship because I felt misunderstood and unheard. Still love them 100%. Researching more about my personality type and seeing my needs highlighted so well really helps me feel I made the right decision even if it was the hardest thing possible. I love you kathy, i'm Sorry things didn't work out.
Thanks so much for this video. I'm learning a lot about my needs as an INFJ, especially the way I can easily understand everyone, but struggle to be understood myself. I value my independence, but also crave to connect with others.
As an INFJ for the planning part I do not agree. I like to plan each hour by day. However, I still keep a couple of hours free each week to spend time with other if they need me. But I really don't like surprise or when something not plan is happening. For the other points I agree with them : I need my space and independance. I don't like to work with people who don't share my values.
I do agree especially with the first one. I want to be alone, but I still want to be able to understand others, a genuine bond. I want to be understood. I am good at understanding others, but I am often not understood the same way. I like the idea of getting close to people but deep inside I feel it will never work out, so I rarely reach out to others. Nor do I opt to suggestion relationships, I like to let it happen naturally, so I do not feel as responsible for things going wrong. I came out of a tricky dynamic, where this person was always requiring my attention. They mispercied my general monotone mannerisms and express what I need and how I felt. I have always been affectionate, but they always thought I didn't care or feel interested. Which hurt me as I kept having to justify and explain my behaviour to them...I wanted to be understood. Yet I felt conflicted greatly, knowing this. I could make them happy, but they refuse to see and love me for me truly. Just because someone claims to understand you, doesn't mean they do. It's best not to ignore that. I like having meaning to others, I am passionate about certain things, especially physiology, art, writing, music (my creative outlets and interests) as well as looking into mental health and disabilities being autistic myself and high functioning. Some people believe INFJs always want to be right, but I feel if you know a better solution, or a better answer and it's something you feel passionate about, it's hard to keep your mouth shut. It's not the need to be right, but to share your knowledge because you care and it's important to you. Edit: Also being independent, I couldn't agree more. I hate the idea of when my friends or partners want me to depend on them. It makes me feel unsafe. Rather I tell them, I prefer at times they can depend on me instead. I am there to help, not to be helped, not unless I want to be...
As a recently awoken INFJ, the way I understand all of these needs is my need for control. Everyone in the world wants control, and we all fight daily to have complete control. What makes me unique is, I understand that control is fluid. I have it, am under it, I can give it, I can take it, have it taken all at the same time. Now I know when anything is trying to take control and I can sometimes choose whether or not to give it. Most things are out of my control, and I’m happy that they are, because I don’t want control of anyone or anything, except what I have control of because I chose to control it.
he who wants to have control has no control at all. But he who doesn't want control, he is the one who shall be free. THis world is not filled with people who want control my friend... This world is filled with people who are prisoners of their own projection and delusion of what reality is in its true form. Deceived by their own brains,heart,eyes and ears. All slaves, few will be free. Only those who are free can save the prisoners, all the rest are just prisoners in a prison system created by their own patterns,thoughts,feelings.
Need for truth. Lies really irk me. I wasn't sure why this bothered me so much. Even the simplest of them, I always wonder what the significance is. Especially with someone I consider close.
Wow. I was wavering between whether I was an infp ( because that was my result several years ago) or an infj ( my most recent result) and this video just spoke to my soul. I am much more confident now that I am an infj.
Wow, 8:47 minutes of a video about Sharon 😆 It was nice to watch a video that is very precise in so many points throughout the video. It was satisfying. But one thing I'd say is that I feel like sometimes INFJs get sad and feel alone, but it's not that they're powerless to this personality. They just need to learn how to work with their feelings and care more about themselves. That's what I'm doing. So I don't really agree anymore with things like "I'm here to understand not to be understood" - we all are the same on the broader perspective. No need to feel lonely like that
I try to take the test everytime I forget the questions and try to be much more honest or updated to my personality to the test. I always thought I was extroverted but I always get INFJ. So I really do not believe the MBTI Personalities but this video show me how consistent yet contradictory INFJ really is.
Yeah, I have a need for truth. I have broken up with boyfriends who have lied to me and I caught them doing it. If a relationship doesn't have honesty it isn't worth keeping.
I was wondering has anyone noticed (maybe it’s just me) but no one asks how you are doing? We automatically ask them and then explain what we feel, do, or whatever. It seems like we are just more of a sounding board for others and don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love to help people, but it infuriates me no one seems to care like we do or just ask a basic question to even care.
As an infj I love people speak truth and be authentic. Sometimes I'm too quiet sometimes I can talk more longer. I love meet people but I need s space for being alone. I don't like spontaneous. I want to help people change their lives. Yes I have empathy with the needy but I want to help people in the structured way with clear goals.
Im an INFJ that recently got diagnosed with autism (or aspergers) and basically all traits in this video are frequently found in people on the spectrum:) Ofcourse not all INFJ's are on the spectrum. Just saying: 2% of the population are INFJ's, and predominantly women. And 1% of the population are estimated to be autistic. I do know all autistics are different, but still wonder if INFJ would be among the more common personality types in people with autism (especially women?). Just a thought:)
Yep! Fellow autistic INFJ here. Finding out at age 36 was actually a huge relief, it explained so much of the “weirdness”. And autism can look very different in women than men.
I’m currently going through health issues because of number 3… the worst is I can’t do much about it, as I’m struggling with finding work, and without work I can’t move out from my parents to live by myself. It’s so draining when for 2 years almost every day there’s at least 1 other person at home 24/7… at this point even separate rooms aren’t doing any difference for me…
Amazingly 100% accurate 👌🏻 It's sad, though. I rarely find people who understand me. 😔 And it feels like when I keep giving, they want more and I'm being consumed. And if I ask for a break, some alone time, I get judged; I'm always fighting for my needs but rarely get them. 😢💔
Took a test once long ago and got INFJ. Just view a lot of INFJ contents recently and found them matched quite well, including this one. I think there are contradictions in myself. About planning I behave extremely different for different things. If I've got to do something which is not routine or a few most important things, I'd plan it into a great detail. For example, the family trip which happen 1-2 times a year I'd plan from morning until evening each day, check the distance and driving/traveling time, book hotels, tickets ahead of time. But for daily work, I rarely make some plan and tends to let others plan and just go with the flow. I don't make note, rarely put anything initiated by myself into the calendar. Although being a perfectionist, but tends to make a lot of errors when doing something new until it gets to become my intuitive then I can do it smoothly without thinking, learning through making mistakes. But I can go into very deep detail, like when analyzing complex problem in the level that rarely seen from others.
1. The need to connect with others. 2. The need of structure. 3. The need to have some time for themselves. 4. The need of creative outlet. 5. The need of meaning. 6. The need of truth 7. The need of independence. 8. The need of impact. 9. The need to be understood.
THANK YOU for this! I actually just found out yesterday I am still an INFJ specifically INFJ-T after all these years. This feels like a great manual ❤😂
I can relate to all of these. I say INFJs deserve a lot of attention and love, and anyone who turns a true INFJ down by calling them weird or strange are in my opinion, monsters.
Hold on... how can you expect to find deep connection with someone if you also have to be completely autonomous and independent from them? Aren't you depending on someone for the connection?
the planning goes so far that i actively plan occasions where i can be spontanious, like when going out or on a trip i include time to just do what ever i feel like at the moment, same with spending money, i give myself a bugdet and then just buy stuff if i feel like it xD
I tested as an INFJ. However, I am curious as to what other INFJs do as a creative outlet? Personally, I would not consider myself a musician, painter, author, sketch artist, or anything like that. I do dabble a little bit in piano, but I don't play it to compose new songs. I play it to learn songs that I already love and to practice technique. I also like to cut my own hair and shape my beard, but it's usually the same style all the time. I just might use different techniques here and there. Additionally, I also recently completed my studies to work in web development, and I like making my websites look good. But I only discovered recently that I like styling my websites. I've always had an interest in piano though. Would the things that I do (aside from web development) be considered creative outlets?
It’s very rare to find someone as yourself! Just when you do, someone or something blocks you from them! God will provide the missing in his own timing!!🙏❤️🕊
how you so sure they also infj? and maybe you have a healthier internal life then theirs? so they need more support or what are we talking about... you feel the need to support..or give it freely...and why they need support? Do they ask it or do you just do it... Of you do it on your own...you cannot really blame them or expect things in return imho. Giving should be without expecting, otherwise it will create resentment. The heart is deceiving few will understand the depth of this deception.
I'm happy we have more infos about ourselves, it was hard to get any infos before except the same repetitive ones, so I thought I wasn't one. I am one actually.
I mentioned someone "I think you're an INFJ". I'm no longer talking to that person. I thought I was wrong and came off as weird, but now as I remembered I feel I was spot-on. A non-expert guesses your type after few hours of talking... How would an INFJ feel?
Yeah the 5. Is true.. 1 year ago I was thinking going as a politician later in my life. Then I still dismissed it as I have social anxiety. Still its an option as I am only 15 😄
I Wonder if its just me. I identify me to 90% as Infj. My subjective hypothesis is that INFJs are likely to have adhd. I See some characteristic patterns of my adhd strenghten the infj components of mine strong
Ok have to admit many of the traits they ascribe to my "type" I would agree with, I wonder if it's all just vague enough that they could apply to ..anyone? Like horoscopes?..Yet this specificity: This ascribing the uniqueness they say my responses put me into...only 2!? 2% of people fall into my slot? That seems so purposeful that it can't be some bland set of traits or behavioral directions ...it defines pretty directly a major aspect of MY personality...not much wiggle room for interpretation is there?
INFJs, would like know what's your satisfying, fulfilling and meaningful job for you? (If you do find it) I'm still having struggles to find my dream career.
Yes! This is exactly what I would like to know! I’m so conflicted because I have way too many interests, but people are extremely draining to be around unless they are the select few in my life that inspire and energize. But at the same time have the desire to help people and do good in the world. It’s so conflicting....
I’m a 63 year old INFJ and spent 32 great years as a firefighter. You get close to your coworkers because you have to be able to depend on each other, but it is a very small group at a time. Everyone I worked with had various problems over the years. I seemed to be the one they always came to for advice, or just to vent. The ability to help people in crisis on calls, at any level on a daily basis, was very rewarding and being able to understand what they were feeling and communicate that to my coworkers was very eye opening for them as well. Best of all…there is plenty of opportunity for alone time, either in your room, or doing something by yourself somewhere in the station. Give this type of career genuine consideration!
Je tiens à préciser que vous n’êtes pas obligé de lire ça car j’écris surtout pour moi pour me sentir mieux et parfois je me parle à moi même aussi. Je sais qu’il y a pire comme situations mais je ne parle de mes problèmes à personne. Je suis égoïste parfois 😒 mais j’ai aussi besoin de prendre soin de moi alors je pense que c’est acceptable. Mdr le blanc 😂 Bonne chance 🍀👍 J’aime sauter des lignes mais je vous ai dit que vous n’étiez pas obligé de lire! Je compte aller loin Non je rigole Non je ne rigole pas Je vais avoir un bras musclé!!! Je ne sais pas du tout si c’est bientôt finit Je suis INFJ et je pense que ce sera le plus beau jour de ma vie si quelqu’un arrive à me comprendre. En ce moment je me sens tellement vide! Et je suis frustrée sauf que je me contiens et quand je n’aurais plus d’espace pour contenir ces négativités, je vais péter un câble. À un moment j’ai giflé ma sœur 🤭 je sais que ce n’est pas bien mais je ne pouvais pas faire autrement. De plus en ce moment j’ai énormément besoin de sortir de chez moi et de me faire des amies mais je suis obligé de rester coincé entre quatres murs car ma mère et ma sœur travaillent. Je voudrais aussi faire du piano mais interdit comme par hasard du coup je gaspille du temps quel nulle je suis! Au bout d’un moment je vais le croire ce qu’on me dit! Ce que mes amies me disent en plus de me faire des coups de poings dans le ventre: « Tu es chelou! » « Désolé hein mais tu es bizarre » « Franchement t’es gênante! » « Tu es une sorcière Ahah!» « Tu es une extraterrestre ou quoi?! ». Ce que je crois que ma mère me dit quand elle est fâchée: « Tu es un monstre » « je vais t’emmener voir un médecin pour les enfants avec un problème mental » « Tu me fais honte » « Quel horreur! » Quelqu’un me comprendrait-il s’il vous plaît? 😩
INFP and my bf is INFJ. So I watch as much as I can to understand home more (though I already do) just because it interests me and helps me to know how I can best communicate and have the best outcome to situations as possible. Going on 1 year and no fights and just absolutely love him 🥰
@@stephyLynn7 hey, as you said your bf is an infj. I would like to have some feedback of how you fit together, whats the things about him you like the most and vice versa?
Half-way through and the content is SPOT ON. However, the voice-over is way too much. I am already exhausted and just about in panic mode. He sounds like he's announcing what we've won behind Door #1. Like, let's get hyper-excited about this. Calm down! I need some alone time...
@@PsychologyRefresh Amberversion is the concept of having both introverted and extroverted qualities. Much like the INFJ who needs connections and Interaction with people. But have only so much energy for such things. That an Ambervert would also need their alone time to process and reflect on said connections and Interaction with people.
I crave alone time after hours of meetings or parties. I burn out so easily. But I do love people and see their potential to grow!! INFJ’s FOREVER!! 🫶🏼
![Blox Fruits Dragon Rework Update [Full Stream]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/EqDAp8udhm0/mqdefault.jpg)
Being An INFJ make me sometimes think that I was born to understand, not to be understood. 😔
If it makes you feel any better, I understand 🤩
such facts, that is literally the story of my life
@@benbrewer6000 thanks alot....what is your type?
@@SinamonRoll00 also infj, trust me, I understand lol
Honestly, yeah.
It's actually kind of nice to have our needs explained back to us as we often don't know what we need ourselves 😅😅
:)
True that because of our Fe. We know what others might need though.
I literally saw this and said to myself, "Yes. Tell me what I need because I have no idea." 😂
@@AlisolteAllGrownUp you guys are not INFJ
@@manuelemilio5193 Thank you for your kind input, Manuel. Good looking out. :)
I used to think something was wrong with me for needing meaningful friendships that go deeper than small talk. Now that I know I am a INFJ, everything makes sense. I need all of these things.
Thanks for sharing!
This is refreshingly accurate, especially the part on planning. I feel like a lot of people get that piece confused, as an infj I don't need and I prefer not to have every single second planned out but I do need and prefer to have a general overview or structure in place that is fluid
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
Good point, I agree too!
Yes, definitely!
As an INFJ who is not young, I would say that learning how to deal with, explain to others, and fulfill the need for alone time is the first order of business. As an absorber of other people's needs and feelings it's most difficult to make the choice to be alone when you sense others confusion or wants for your time. I spent decades ignoring myself in lieu of others wants and it nearly killed me. Understand it and create the boundary, if someone doesn't get it or feels too insecure - move on... it will only get worse and so will you.
Thanks for sharing!
You get better at it as you get older ,glad you're getting better.
Dude you are so right. Me too! I nearly killed my self for decades “sacrificing myself” for narcs, sociopaths, low-lives, cluster b’s or other people and the like in the hope that they would understand me. Seeing as how INFJs are so often misunderstood. Or so that onlookers to my life wouldn’t think I was stuck up or anti-social. Doing this left me more hurt, betrayed, let down, defamed, shamed, blamed and shattering my sense of self worth over and over again.
Missing opportunities because of bitterness and depression in the aftermath of feeling let down and a profound sense of being cheated.
It became a horrid cycle of self loathing and regret. So much energy bound upin gripes and nursing grudges for what in reality is my own well meaning but mistaken ascription of value to people who either can’t don’t or want to understand me, beyond trying to figure out the best route to manipulating me when I could have bypassed all those people altogether, and saved that lost energy and applied to it building the life of my dreams. To fuck what strangers think about me. Half of the time they got me all wrong anyway. And on top of that as an INFJ were rare. We should probably stop expecting most people to understand us. All we need is just a few to be mind blowingly happy.
To sum up INFJ, we are like the therapist for others, not expecting anything in returns but just want them to be happy~
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
I agree with your assessment. ESTJ here married to an INFJ, he is very much a therapist to me but I can’t do the same for him 😢
@@lexim9639 That’s the painful part…no one or few to counsel us.
I like being an INFJ but it's very hard to live in a world where you are part of the minority or considered a weirdo for being different. It also limits us to be able to express our full selves, or not live as fully as we want.
Thanks for sharing!
Combine that with HSP ... First read about HSP in the late 90s in a magazine at some doctor office visit. I was, HEY that's me! Take the HSP test, my guess is a lot of us are also HSPs. We are special ... as is every being ... just let us carry on.
@@briettasonlen1208 Yes, I am really sensitive, I'm not really sure about the term-I'll look into that, thanks. Also the term empaths relate to us. That's why I guess we are pretty good at catching nuances, moods, energies around us that in turn makes us extremely tired-absorbing everything, even unconsciously, and then resulting to us retreating to solitude if too much.
Healthy ENFPs can sometimes feel the same we just dont always share it with other cuz we dont feel they would understand.
My ENTP hubby just doesnt “get” me or what I am talking about many times.
I have found, once spending time in deep discussions, INFJs understand this and “get” me and where I am coming from and vice versa
@@Jaxmusicgal23 @Jaxmusicgal23 I understand. We are just built a bit different but it would be so nice (understatement) to be understood and have deep conversations with others.
They say we are each other's (ENFPs-INFJs) inverse images. We have the same order/stack of cognitive functions but just differ in introversion and extraversion. I think I can talk about ANYthing with an ENFP without judgment.
Though it might be hard, please keep being you, as I will too. I have seen ENFP personalities that are in their elements and I'm so in awe of them. I admire how they can be themselves, not afraid to stand out and be different. Plus, I find them fun, and adorable, just have to say that 😅 I know that it is in you as well, so I wish you would fill your cup more and more and there will come a time it will overflow 🌊
After finding out I was an INFJ, I came to RUclips to learn more about it. And I felt like I had been read like a book. Things started to click with who I was that I hadn’t thought before. And while infj isn’t my entire personality it did feel like a part of the puzzle was solved.
Thanks for sharing!
The need to be understood, is my constant fight. But I’m learning that it’s more important to understand yourself than to rely on others to understand you. No one will understand you the way you will ❤
Thanks for sharing!
I think this video will be the most useful for INFJ as "Manual" which we can send to others in order to make them understand how we function. It's clear and simple, much easier to get to the point than explaining everything by ourselves and get lost in our tangled thoughts before we make the point xD
Exactly. I was actually thinking of sharing it with family .
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
I literally sent this and bout to send it to my wife
I already sent it, then read this comment 😂
Now I understand why I only ever had one friend at a time my whole life. Now I'm just alone.
I've been watching a lot of these INFJ videos and it's starting to help me accept who I am at my core
Perfect!
Recently ended a 4 year relationship because I felt misunderstood and unheard. Still love them 100%. Researching more about my personality type and seeing my needs highlighted so well really helps me feel I made the right decision even if it was the hardest thing possible. I love you kathy, i'm Sorry things didn't work out.
Number three is crucial! In the past I have become physically ill when I didn't have enough alone time.
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
Thanks so much for this video. I'm learning a lot about my needs as an INFJ, especially the way I can easily understand everyone, but struggle to be understood myself. I value my independence, but also crave to connect with others.
You're welcome!
So well said
As an INFJ for the planning part I do not agree. I like to plan each hour by day. However, I still keep a couple of hours free each week to spend time with other if they need me. But I really don't like surprise or when something not plan is happening. For the other points I agree with them : I need my space and independance. I don't like to work with people who don't share my values.
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
I hate sudden plans too! I want a schedule that has been planned for weeks or so.
I do agree especially with the first one. I want to be alone, but I still want to be able to understand others, a genuine bond. I want to be understood. I am good at understanding others, but I am often not understood the same way. I like the idea of getting close to people but deep inside I feel it will never work out, so I rarely reach out to others. Nor do I opt to suggestion relationships, I like to let it happen naturally, so I do not feel as responsible for things going wrong.
I came out of a tricky dynamic, where this person was always requiring my attention. They mispercied my general monotone mannerisms and express what I need and how I felt. I have always been affectionate, but they always thought I didn't care or feel interested. Which hurt me as I kept having to justify and explain my behaviour to them...I wanted to be understood. Yet I felt conflicted greatly, knowing this. I could make them happy, but they refuse to see and love me for me truly. Just because someone claims to understand you, doesn't mean they do. It's best not to ignore that.
I like having meaning to others, I am passionate about certain things, especially physiology, art, writing, music (my creative outlets and interests) as well as looking into mental health and disabilities being autistic myself and high functioning.
Some people believe INFJs always want to be right, but I feel if you know a better solution, or a better answer and it's something you feel passionate about, it's hard to keep your mouth shut. It's not the need to be right, but to share your knowledge because you care and it's important to you.
Edit:
Also being independent, I couldn't agree more. I hate the idea of when my friends or partners want me to depend on them. It makes me feel unsafe. Rather I tell them, I prefer at times they can depend on me instead. I am there to help, not to be helped, not unless I want to be...
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
Beautifully and accurately put.... I feel understood ...!
Я просто офиваю, оказывается это нормально для меня иметь такие желания. Все мои желания просто рассказали в этом видео, я офигел как все сходится.
As a recently awoken INFJ, the way I understand all of these needs is my need for control.
Everyone in the world wants control, and we all fight daily to have complete control. What makes me unique is, I understand that control is fluid. I have it, am under it, I can give it, I can take it, have it taken all at the same time. Now I know when anything is trying to take control and I can sometimes choose whether or not to give it. Most things are out of my control, and I’m happy that they are, because I don’t want control of anyone or anything, except what I have control of because I chose to control it.
Interesting!
he who wants to have control has no control at all.
But he who doesn't want control, he is the one who shall be free.
THis world is not filled with people who want control my friend...
This world is filled with people who are prisoners of their own projection and delusion of what reality is in its true form.
Deceived by their own brains,heart,eyes and ears.
All slaves, few will be free.
Only those who are free can save the prisoners, all the rest are just prisoners in a prison system created by their own patterns,thoughts,feelings.
Need for truth. Lies really irk me. I wasn't sure why this bothered me so much. Even the simplest of them, I always wonder what the significance is. Especially with someone I consider close.
Alright!
i feel like i can connect with others and stuff, but i feel like there’s always something lacking. whether it’s them or me or both i’m not sure.
Thanks for sharing!
Wow. I was wavering between whether I was an infp ( because that was my result several years ago) or an infj ( my most recent result) and this video just spoke to my soul. I am much more confident now that I am an infj.
Thanks for sharing!
Wow, 8:47 minutes of a video about Sharon 😆
It was nice to watch a video that is very precise in so many points throughout the video. It was satisfying. But one thing I'd say is that I feel like sometimes INFJs get sad and feel alone, but it's not that they're powerless to this personality. They just need to learn how to work with their feelings and care more about themselves. That's what I'm doing. So I don't really agree anymore with things like "I'm here to understand not to be understood" - we all are the same on the broader perspective. No need to feel lonely like that
Thank you for this comment!
I try to take the test everytime I forget the questions and try to be much more honest or updated to my personality to the test. I always thought I was extroverted but I always get INFJ. So I really do not believe the MBTI Personalities but this video show me how consistent yet contradictory INFJ really is.
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
SO accurate!!! Makes me feel so reassured that my needs are valid
Perfect!
Yeah, I have a need for truth. I have broken up with boyfriends who have lied to me and I caught them doing it. If a relationship doesn't have honesty it isn't worth keeping.
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
I was wondering has anyone noticed (maybe it’s just me) but no one asks how you are doing? We automatically ask them and then explain what we feel, do, or whatever. It seems like we are just more of a sounding board for others and don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love to help people, but it infuriates me no one seems to care like we do or just ask a basic question to even care.
Thanks for sharing this!
Exactly, am always thinking if people care as much as I care about them, or am I even important to them.
Thank you this is really helpful as I find its hard to understand my own behaviour.
You're so welcome!
number 1 omg that is so so me, i love being alone but i love genuine connections
Alright!
As an infj I love people speak truth and be authentic. Sometimes I'm too quiet sometimes I can talk more longer. I love meet people but I need s space for being alone. I don't like spontaneous. I want to help people change their lives. Yes I have empathy with the needy but I want to help people in the structured way with clear goals.
Thanks for sharing!
Im an INFJ that recently got diagnosed with autism (or aspergers) and basically all traits in this video are frequently found in people on the spectrum:)
Ofcourse not all INFJ's are on the spectrum. Just saying: 2% of the population are INFJ's, and predominantly women.
And 1% of the population are estimated to be autistic.
I do know all autistics are different, but still wonder if INFJ would be among the more common personality types in people with autism (especially women?).
Just a thought:)
Thanks for sharing!
weirdly enough, it is true as you said~
Yep! Fellow autistic INFJ here. Finding out at age 36 was actually a huge relief, it explained so much of the “weirdness”. And autism can look very different in women than men.
I’m currently going through health issues because of number 3… the worst is I can’t do much about it, as I’m struggling with finding work, and without work I can’t move out from my parents to live by myself. It’s so draining when for 2 years almost every day there’s at least 1 other person at home 24/7… at this point even separate rooms aren’t doing any difference for me…
Thanks for sharing!
Amazingly 100% accurate 👌🏻 It's sad, though. I rarely find people who understand me. 😔 And it feels like when I keep giving, they want more and I'm being consumed. And if I ask for a break, some alone time, I get judged; I'm always fighting for my needs but rarely get them. 😢💔
Thank you!
#3 is critical.
#6 is also critical.
#9 is so true.
Great to hear that!
Took a test once long ago and got INFJ. Just view a lot of INFJ contents recently and found them matched quite well, including this one.
I think there are contradictions in myself.
About planning I behave extremely different for different things.
If I've got to do something which is not routine or a few most important things, I'd plan it into a great detail. For example, the family trip which happen 1-2 times a year I'd plan from morning until evening each day, check the distance and driving/traveling time, book hotels, tickets ahead of time.
But for daily work, I rarely make some plan and tends to let others plan and just go with the flow. I don't make note, rarely put anything initiated by myself into the calendar.
Although being a perfectionist, but tends to make a lot of errors when doing something new until it gets to become my intuitive then I can do it smoothly without thinking, learning through making mistakes. But I can go into very deep detail, like when analyzing complex problem in the level that rarely seen from others.
it's like u mentioned me i understand i have these needs, i feel like i will cry to see people like me exists
;)
1. The need to connect with others.
2. The need of structure.
3. The need to have some time for themselves.
4. The need of creative outlet.
5. The need of meaning.
6. The need of truth
7. The need of independence.
8. The need of impact.
9. The need to be understood.
THANK YOU for this! I actually just found out yesterday I am still an INFJ specifically INFJ-T after all these years. This feels like a great manual ❤😂
You're welcome!
I Do Understand others emotions and needs clearly.. but I have to act that I dont.. I have to play numb for my own sanity..
Thanks for sharing!
As an INFJ and also gifted, i found that i could barely connect with others in a deep level :(
Thanks for sharing!
I’m learning so much about me with these videos, thank you!
You're welcome!
I can relate to all of these. I say INFJs deserve a lot of attention and love, and anyone who turns a true INFJ down by calling them weird or strange are in my opinion, monsters.
Hold on... how can you expect to find deep connection with someone if you also have to be completely autonomous and independent from them? Aren't you depending on someone for the connection?
INFJs are very independent however they are great at connecting with people.
the planning goes so far that i actively plan occasions where i can be spontanious, like when going out or on a trip i include time to just do what ever i feel like at the moment, same with spending money, i give myself a bugdet and then just buy stuff if i feel like it xD
Okay!
INFJ: 'all I know... IS MY HEART SAYS MAYBE'
:)
Wow I relate to the first thing on a deep level. I may be introvert but I love people.
I tested as an INFJ. However, I am curious as to what other INFJs do as a creative outlet? Personally, I would not consider myself a musician, painter, author, sketch artist, or anything like that. I do dabble a little bit in piano, but I don't play it to compose new songs. I play it to learn songs that I already love and to practice technique. I also like to cut my own hair and shape my beard, but it's usually the same style all the time. I just might use different techniques here and there. Additionally, I also recently completed my studies to work in web development, and I like making my websites look good. But I only discovered recently that I like styling my websites. I've always had an interest in piano though. Would the things that I do (aside from web development) be considered creative outlets?
I honestly just wanted to feel understood
Is it going well?
It’s very rare to find someone as yourself!
Just when you do, someone or something blocks you from them!
God will provide the missing in his own timing!!🙏❤️🕊
This is spot on 🙈
New found channel.
Large degree of acceptance based on lack of sugar coating shit.
Message to OP. Stay strong and be true. Ty.
I'm an INFJ, and I have two friends are also INFJs, but we are quite different. In fact, I am the real listener and supporter for them....;(
how you so sure they also infj?
and maybe you have a healthier internal life then theirs? so they need more support or what are we talking about...
you feel the need to support..or give it freely...and why they need support?
Do they ask it or do you just do it...
Of you do it on your own...you cannot really blame them or expect things in return imho.
Giving should be without expecting, otherwise it will create resentment.
The heart is deceiving few will understand the depth of this deception.
pretty spot on!
Thank you!
Pretty much!
The first one is a fantastic explanation of my introversion yet need to have people.
Thanks for sharing!
Most people have a need for many of these.
What about you?
I tested a long time ago and got INFJ. i'm so confused as to how this got on my recommended tho. especially since its the rarest one.
Okay!
I'm happy we have more infos about ourselves, it was hard to get any infos before except the same repetitive ones, so I thought I wasn't one. I am one actually.
Thanks for sharing!
This is so accurate!
I mentioned someone "I think you're an INFJ". I'm no longer talking to that person. I thought I was wrong and came off as weird, but now as I remembered I feel I was spot-on. A non-expert guesses your type after few hours of talking... How would an INFJ feel?
Thanks for sharing!
Exactly!
:)
Yeah the 5. Is true.. 1 year ago I was thinking going as a politician later in my life. Then I still dismissed it as I have social anxiety. Still its an option as I am only 15 😄
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
I Wonder if its just me. I identify me to 90% as Infj. My subjective hypothesis is that INFJs are likely to have adhd. I See some characteristic patterns of my adhd strenghten the infj components of mine strong
Interesting!
Nailed it!
;)
All completely true.
Thanks!
Ok have to admit many of the traits they ascribe to my "type" I would agree with, I wonder if it's all just vague enough that they could apply to ..anyone? Like horoscopes?..Yet this specificity:
This ascribing the uniqueness they say my responses put me into...only 2!? 2% of people fall into my slot? That seems so purposeful that it can't be some bland set of traits or behavioral directions ...it defines pretty directly a major aspect of MY personality...not much wiggle room for interpretation is there?
the need of meaning is putting me through existential crisis right now..
;)
This is so accurate it’s scary-
Glad to hear!
Ironically we are like the second closest thing to a mindreader. We also just want someone to read ours without explaining everything we do. 😕 🤭
Thanks for sharing!
Awesome video 👍
Thank you!
INFJ ...Earth Angel. 100%
Okay!
This channel knows me than myself 😮😮😮 all 9 are exactly me
Glad to hear that!
Spot on.....
Perfect!
So accurate.
Great to hear!
Thank you
You're welcome
INFJs, would like know what's your satisfying, fulfilling and meaningful job for you? (If you do find it)
I'm still having struggles to find my dream career.
Thanks for sharing!
Yes! This is exactly what I would like to know! I’m so conflicted because I have way too many interests, but people are extremely draining to be around unless they are the select few in my life that inspire and energize. But at the same time have the desire to help people and do good in the world. It’s so conflicting....
I’m a 63 year old INFJ and spent 32 great years as a firefighter. You get close to your coworkers because you have to be able to depend on each other, but it is a very small group at a time. Everyone I worked with had various problems over the years. I seemed to be the one they always came to for advice, or just to vent.
The ability to help people in crisis on calls, at any level on a daily basis, was very rewarding and being able to understand what they were feeling and communicate that to my coworkers was very eye opening for them as well. Best of all…there is plenty of opportunity for alone time, either in your room, or doing something by yourself somewhere in the station. Give this type of career genuine consideration!
Aiming to be a business man, so I can earn money to do charity.
@@jamulAK yes!!! I’m a paramedic but currently in medical school. I feel that I can have a bigger impact as a doctor but loved working as a paramedic.
Je tiens à préciser que vous n’êtes pas obligé de lire ça car j’écris surtout pour moi pour me sentir mieux et parfois je me parle à moi même aussi. Je sais qu’il y a pire comme situations mais je ne parle de mes problèmes à personne. Je suis égoïste parfois 😒 mais j’ai aussi besoin de prendre soin de moi alors je pense que c’est acceptable.
Mdr le blanc 😂
Bonne chance 🍀👍
J’aime sauter des lignes mais je vous ai dit que vous n’étiez pas obligé de lire!
Je compte aller loin
Non je rigole
Non je ne rigole pas
Je vais avoir un bras musclé!!!
Je ne sais pas du tout si c’est bientôt finit
Je suis INFJ et je pense que ce sera le plus beau jour de ma vie si quelqu’un arrive à me comprendre. En ce moment je me sens tellement vide! Et je suis frustrée sauf que je me contiens et quand je n’aurais plus d’espace pour contenir ces négativités, je vais péter un câble. À un moment j’ai giflé ma sœur 🤭 je sais que ce n’est pas bien mais je ne pouvais pas faire autrement. De plus en ce moment j’ai énormément besoin de sortir de chez moi et de me faire des amies mais je suis obligé de rester coincé entre quatres murs car ma mère et ma sœur travaillent. Je voudrais aussi faire du piano mais interdit comme par hasard du coup je gaspille du temps quel nulle je suis! Au bout d’un moment je vais le croire ce qu’on me dit! Ce que mes amies me disent en plus de me faire des coups de poings dans le ventre: « Tu es chelou! » « Désolé hein mais tu es bizarre » « Franchement t’es gênante! » « Tu es une sorcière Ahah!» « Tu es une extraterrestre ou quoi?! ». Ce que je crois que ma mère me dit quand elle est fâchée: « Tu es un monstre » « je vais t’emmener voir un médecin pour les enfants avec un problème mental » « Tu me fais honte » « Quel horreur! »
Quelqu’un me comprendrait-il s’il vous plaît? 😩
I’m an INFJ-ENFP-T
Great type!
Make a video about 16 Mbti types - authenticity.
Great suggestion, stay tuned!
I would be curious to know how many people that are infj that are also Manifestor type in Human design system
;)
INFJ's song = Change the World (Eric Clapton and Babyface)
Great song!
I’m an INFP but I totally resonate with all of those needs 😮
Thanks for sharing!
as an INFJ, i really wonder if anyone is watching this video who is not INFJ himself/herself. well, if you are, why is that?
What do you think?
INFP and my bf is INFJ. So I watch as much as I can to understand home more (though I already do) just because it interests me and helps me to know how I can best communicate and have the best outcome to situations as possible. Going on 1 year and no fights and just absolutely love him 🥰
INTP
@@stephyLynn7 hey, as you said your bf is an infj. I would like to have some feedback of how you fit together, whats the things about him you like the most and vice versa?
are we all INFJs here reading and posting comments? well, long time no see brother! 😛
;)
Is the text for this (and other videos) available anywhere? I'd love to have it in text form if that were an option. Thanks so much!
You can download subtitles ;)
My hands are sweating because I feel seen
:)
I don’t need 4, 5 & 8. 😂 There’s really no way of knowing if you’re a true INFJ. So I’ll just be myself, INFJ or not.
Okay!
Geli nak mampos komen2 kat sini. Malu plak aku sebagai INFJ 🫢
;)
Why do I feel like i'm listening to my instruction manual? 🤦🏻
Getting therapy: NO
Giving therapy: YES
Interesting!
But... how do you know I need this as an INFJ, when we INFJs don't even know what we need ourselves? 🤔
Good question!
For once this is a painfully realistic video.
Why painfully?
@@PsychologyRefresh because they are true and we try to repress some of them because they wouldnt be understood or hard to achieve
Half-way through and the content is SPOT ON. However, the voice-over is way too much. I am already exhausted and just about in panic mode. He sounds like he's announcing what we've won behind Door #1. Like, let's get hyper-excited about this. Calm down! I need some alone time...
Thank you for this comment!
Respectfully I disagree with video. Cuz it seems to deny the concept of Amberversion
Explain more please.
@@PsychologyRefresh Amberversion is the concept of having both introverted and extroverted qualities. Much like the INFJ who needs connections and Interaction with people. But have only so much energy for such things. That an Ambervert would also need their alone time to process and reflect on said connections and Interaction with people.
to be understood seems kind of imposable 😅
Why?
INFJ means I Never Feel Joy
Do you experience that?
Yes often..i absorbed too much negative in my surroundings/people..
I'm getting Sensitive that leads me to stress/ depression..
It’s VERY important to protect your energy. With time and finding positive people, you will reset and thrive :)
The first need to is dial back that voice.
What do you mean by that?
I’m like an idiot version of this
Why?
@@PsychologyRefresh I’m trying to take more responsibility
I crave alone time after hours of meetings or parties. I burn out so easily. But I do love people and see their potential to grow!! INFJ’s FOREVER!! 🫶🏼
Thanks for sharing!
wow. I really am grateful for this that it made me cry 🥺🤍🤍🤍
As an artist, I do realize that there’s a lot of INFJ artist friends around~ 🥹💕
Okay!